Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, August 22, 1901, Image 4

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    Bramed'Down
Feeling
In Ibe loins.
Nervousness, Dnrefrethlnf sleep, despon
dent .
It it time vera wert doing something.
Tbe kidneys were anciently celled the
relr.s in your ease ther are holding the
; relm nl driving yott into serious trouble.
Hood's Sarsaparllla
Acts with the most direct, beneficial effect
on the kidneys. It contains the best and
safest substance (or correcting and toning
inese organs.
Crusty.
Yes." Miss Frocks went on, "Mr.
Templeton and I are to be married.
Why don't you offer congratula
tions?" "Oh, I've no grudge against Tem
pleton, " loplied the crusty old bach
elor. "
Adaptation.
"Snicker's jokes are Tery thin,"
complained Dinsmore.
"Perhaps he makes them that way
for your special benefit," suggested
Winterbottom.
"How's that?"
"To enable you to see through
them."
Spring of M it-Conduct
"You haven t any manners, Jack.
Why didn't you offer to escort that
young lady home?"
"Oh, I have manners, all right,
but I didn't have any street car fare."
Safer on Hit Back.
Pinching-bug Say, what makes
you wear your fur overcoat in such
hot weather?
Caterpillar Oh, half the moth
balls we get now are no good.
TMa sign atare is o ovary bos of the gesmiae
Laxative Bromo-Quimne
the leaned? (bat nns ewtel ta mmm aj
Summer Geography.
"Pa, what is a lake, anyway?"
"A lake, Jimmie, is a large body of
water surrounded by men, women
and children in bathing suits."
Am Exhaustive Trip.
Harriet Harry's got home.
Clara Did he have a good time?
Harriet I guess so; he borrowed
half a dollar to pay the hackman be
fore he kissed any of us.
Thot Printers.
"Well, that's the worst yet."
"What's the matter?"
"My magazine poem entitled
'Baffled' appears under the head of
Raffled.'
A Sure Result.
"Say, old chap, Coffup and I have a
bet we wish you to decide for us."
"No thanks."
"Why not? We're both friends of
yours."
"Exactly. So what's the use of
my making an enemy of one of you?"
HOWS THIS!
We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
ease of Catarrh that can not be cored by Hall's
Catarrh Cure
F. J. C2EKKT A CO., Props., Toledo, a
We the undersigned, have known P. J. Cheney
for the past IS rears, and believe him perfectly
boar -sol in all business transactions and fin
ancial" able to carry out any obligations ffiuui
by tlieir firm.
Wbt dt TbtjaX.
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, ?.
W ALBINO, K INN AN MaRVIH,
Wnoleale Drug-ists, Toledo, O.
Call's Catarrh Cure is trJcen -n : rnaUy , acting
(".irecily on tbe blood and m-eous snrfacea ot
the system. Pri e 75a per bo-Ue. i;d by all
drug: fata. Tcstimoni-J free.
Hall a Family Pu1 r-tb beat
Farmers Fight Over Laborer.
Kansas City papers contain an ac
count of three farmers being arrested
there while fighting over the poses
sion of an idle man, whom each
wanted for a farm hand.
How She Proves It
"Maggie says she is a daughter of
the revoluiton."
"Can she prove it?"
"Sure. Her father runs a merry-go-round."
Pride of the Poor.
Mrs. McChane (triumphantly) I
see ye are takin' in washin' again,
Mrs. McProudee (whose husband
"had lost a paying job.) Sure, it's
only to amuse th' children. They
wants the windies covered with steam,
so they can make pictures on tbim.
.Eczema sets the skin on fire. The acid poisons in
the blood are forced out through the pores of the skin,
causing intense redness, burning and itching. So terrible
is the itching at times, especially when the body is over
heated, that the almost distracted sufferer feels that he
could tear the skin to pieces, and that he must scratch or
go crazy. He knows, from experience that thia only
makes matters worse, but marie derM-rati hv the terriblei
burning and itching, be is for the time being indifferent to after effects. There
are several forms of Eczema, the moist, or weeping kind, that comes in little pus
tules which discharge a watery, sticky fluid, which dries and peels off in bran-like
caks. So profuse is the discharge at times that large scabs or crusts form, which
axe. both painful and troublesome, and not easily removed. Red, disfiguring bumps
and sore are symptoms of Eczema. The dry form usually attacks the head,
bands and feet ; the skin, becoming hard and rough, often cracking open and
bleeding, and attended with much itching. Eczema depends upon a poisoned Con
dition of filruvt nnit 1
u. j. m.mna. x.soonuao, man xiiago uounty,
Cat., writes: "Mr body broke out with s rash
x eruption which la spite) of all efforts to euro
ontinued. to ret worse. The ltohiar, especially
at night, was simply terrible; it would almost
disappear at times, only to return worse than
aver. X cad tried many highly reoommended
rreparotlona without benefit, and bearing; of B.
ft. 8. determined to rive It a fair trial, and was
Inexpressibly delig-htod when few bottles
urod me entirely, removing every blemish and
plxnplo from my body. Z shall not fail to reoom
mead 8. S. S. whenever an opportunity occurs.
forcing the i poison back into the blood. & S. S. antidotes and neutralizes the acid
poisons and drives out of the circulation all impurities and humors, and the pure
rich blood that is carried to the diseased skin quickly allays the inflammation!
opens the clogged up pores, and the skin becomes soft, smooth tnd ready to perform
its proper functions. To be rid of Eczema you must first purify and build no the
w uicT suiu suckiuour oocai uu assho, p., tne oniy
teed purely vegetable blood purifier. Send fog our book on blood and skin
ga write our puysicians lor any information or advice von maw rlMi m,
dvke and twit tree. THS SWIFT
f!"rn Is best time to euro Catarrh,
H ill Bronchitis and Consumption.
ill Our remedy Is guaranteed, II.
7.V"L" . p.o. Boxers.
l i i::m i p., e.ff!3, n. y.
Cold Curt for Disorder Nerve.
"That eastern girl who is suffering
from unstrung nerves made a mia
take when she tried to doctor her
self."
"What did she take for it'?'
"Diamond rings and anything else
she could lay her hands on."
Don't Blams Her.
"Why didn't she graduate?"
"She got mad at the examiner
hinting, as she thought,, at her age.
He asked her what great national
event took place in I860."
King Edward tlat Many Guests.
A Tery noticeable circumstance is
the number of distinguished people
political, official, diplomatic and so
cial who have dined with his majes
ty during his visit to Windsor castle.
This is especially remarkable because,
during the last reign, the late queen
more often dined with her family
alone in the small dining room called
the oak room. The king, however,
has introduced tne practice of bavins
a good-sited dinner party every day.
World to d Tkli Tear.
This Is the recent decision of on of tbe
prominent societies of tbe world, but the
exact day has not yet been tixed upon, and
while there are very few people who believe
this prediction, there are thousands of
others who not only believe, but know
that Hostetter s Stomach Hitters is the
best medicine to cure dyspepsia, indirest-
tion, constipation, billiousness or liver
and kidney troubles. A fair trial will cer
tainly convince you of its value.
Very Blunt
"The editor is kicking about some
of the jokes Witlittle is turning in.
He says he believes Witlittle sits
down and grinds them out."
"I don't believe it. If he was to
grind them cut they might have a
point to them."
She Couldn't
"Just walk this way madam," said
the clerk who was bow-legged.
"I'm er I'm very much afraid,
sir, I can't," blushinlgy replied the
fair customer who wasn't.
Never Existed.
Jaggles Are his characters drawn
from life?
Waggles Of course not. He writes
dialect.
TO CIJKK A COLD IN OH DAY
Take Laxative Bromo Qainlne Tablets. All
trorgiata refund the money it it fails to rare.
K. W, (trove's signature is on each box. 25c
Hence the Term.
Clarence Why do you say the
wedding was patriotic?
Algernon Well, the bride was red,
the groom was white and ner father,
who had all the- bills to pay, was
blue.
A Conscience Document
"That last cook sent us back a
postal card."
"What ior?"
"She said on it that we'd find three
of our best plates at the bottom of
the pile stuck together with muci
lage."
Iff havent a regular, nealthr nomunt of tfes
bowel Tery day, yon re sick, or will be. Keep your
bowels open, and be well. Force, in tbe shape of
violent physic or piU poison, is dangerous. The
MBMotbest. easiest, ssost perfect way of keeping the
nsiu cmr uu cin is to wu
Pleasant, Palatable, Potent. Taste Good. Do Good.
Rerer Sicken. Weaken, or Gripe. We. SOe Write
lor free sample, and booklet on health. Address
ttirilin Si-ityC-i ify.CSI , neslrtsl, Sswlerk. SBS
KEEP YOUR BLOOD CLEAN
His "C.IL"
Booker Washington says that dur
ing the early days of freedom almost
every Negro who learned to read
would receive "a call to preach"
within s few days after be began read
ing. He tells of a colored man in
Alabama who, one hot day in July,
while he was at work in a cotton
field, suddenly stopped and, looking
toward tbe skies said :
"0 Lawd, de cotton am so grassy,
de work am so hard, and de sun am
so hot, I believe this darkey am
called to preach."
amplications, whila aoothinw
and cooling, and may to some
extent relieve the inflamma
tion and itching, cannot
be considered cures, because
external remedies do not
reach constitutional or blood
diseases. Salves, ointments.
powders, lotions and soaps da
more harm, than good, by
smearing over and sealing up
SPECIFIC CO., ATLANTA , OA.
BlSTFCOTi
0OIVEL8
PfikY CANDY
If CATHARTIC
V S,. TSAOieuaa asswrsnto s
I I Best Cough Syrup. Taues Good. Use I 1
1 In time. Sold by dmtrfrlfU. I - f
NOISY COLLEGE BOY.
AVERAGE SPECIMEN IS GOOD
DEAL OF A NUISANCE.
Kaasaa Jadgr Tell Bow a ad Why the
loathe Get Theaaselvea DUtlkeJ-
alach Trath U What Ue ffaya-Cons.
aseata. However, Are Toe lraetio.
That the college boy is often too ex
uberant all who know htm will admit,
but that he is as much of a nulsauce
as Judge Frank Poster of the Kansas
Supreme Court declares some - will
question. "Among other things," said
lie judge In a recent uewspaper arti
cle, "1 would reform the colicjje a.u
dent or kill htm off. 1 knock ou him. 1
know we pretend to dote ou hlin and
affect to believe that he Is the hope and
first care of the Suite, but It's a lie.
We dou't. Nobody but his mother
does. From the time he first starts out
to render "Gall la est omuls dlvtsa in
partes tree' he becomes an Insufferable
uutsauce. If at that stage of his ca
reer his own gall could be divided into
3,000 parts lustead of three and he left
with only one of them the relief to
maukind and to himself would be ines
timable, because an IntJultesimal frac
tion of the w hole of what he has would
suffice the ueeds of any ordinary mor
tal.
'Why do 1 say these hard things
about him I say it because he Is
self-important, noisy, conceited, ignor
ant of all practical wisdom, parts his
hair In tbe middle, flaunts his frater
nity badge and school colors In an of
fensive, challenging sort of way in ev
erybody's face, and prances upstreet
yawping his ear-splitting college yell
to the fright and disgust of all timid,
sensitive folk within sound. 1 saw
hint at the Twentieth Kansas recep
tion, a bigger man than Funston big
ger even than Gen. Hughes making
more uolse and taking up more room
than the whole procession, elbowing ev
erybody out of the way and drowning
the voices of the orators and the music
of the bands wtth his Idiotic 'Rock
chalk. Jay hawk; rah! rah! rah! Wash
burn, rah! Baker, hurrah!" or whatever
the infernal Siwash gibberish is. I
have seen somewhat of this world and
I think I have correctly sized up a
good many people In it, and I give it as
my mature and solemn judgment, based
npon a careful, unprejudiced compari
son of the many classes of people who
cultivate the habit of making a holy
show of themselves, that, with the ex
ception to be hereafter noticed, the
average college student Is the most ob
trusive and elephantine ass that fronts
the grieved and frowning face of heav
en. I was a college student once my
self. "Now, I am not objecting to what this
creature learns at school. It's what he
doesn't learn that I am talking about
He's lazy. He doesn't design himself
for any of the usual work of mankind.
Nobody ever beard of a college student
who was fitting himself for anything
but one of the learned professions, so
called that Is, one of the professions
of learning how to live off the balance
of mankind. He's going to be a law
yer, a preacher, a doctor, an editor,
an author, an orator, a statesman, and
no doubting thought ever ruffles bis
serenely egotistic soul that when once
he vaults into the arena of affairs the
things of this world will be speedily set
to rights.
"But when he finally does land out
the much-abused, long-suffering world
gets its revenge. The world just trips
him up and rolls Its big self over him
and mashes the wind out of him and
then picks him up and chucks him into
a little 8x10 office, with cobwebs on
the ceiling and fly specks on tbe win
dows and two broken-leg chairs on the
tloor and a dozen second-hand books
in a wobbly old case with the glass
broken out, and, refusing to pay bis
board bill any longer, goes off and
leaves him to learn wisdom from the
ant
"Nor have I any spite at the college
student I only think he takes up too
much room and makes too much noise
and costs too much money ani is too
smart in the budding days of his ca
reer. If he could only be induced to
subside somewhat, to practice a little
the modest habit of self-effacement,
go out and soak his head, turn an X-
ray upon his inwards and see himself
as others see him, we could possibly
endure him instead of filling up with
wicked wishes for bis assassination.
But he won't"
TAMAQNO GETS A REBUFF.
Trouble Made for Him la Pari by His
Propensity to Prive Bargalna.
Ernesto Tamagno, like many other
distinguished singers, Is noted for his
prudence in financial matters, and dur
ing his stay In this country many amus
ing stories were told of his small econ
omies, which were remarkable in tbe
case of an artist who has always re
ceived enormous compensation for his
services.
That his spirit for bargaining is not
altogether confined to money matters
has recently been shown In a fashion
that has put the tenor Into an embar
rassing position in Paris. He went
there on his way to London, where he
is singing at Covent Garden, to take
part in tbe performance at the opera
given in honor of the retirement of
Mme. Laurent an actress of melo
drama who has been for several years
at the head of the orphanage for the
children of French actors and has been
decorated by the government for ber
efforts In this field with the cross of the
Legion of Honor.
All the noted French actors and sing
ers were delighted to take part Even
Mme. Pattl. who was In Paris when
the plan was proposed, said she would
take the role of Juliette In the third act
of Gounod'a opera. Slgnor Tarns gno
said that he would sing In honor of
Mme. Laurent
But it appears that his passion for
bargaining proved too strong for him
and he could not bring himself to give
something for nothing. So he decided
that as It would be out of the question
to expect payment In money on such an
occasion, he would suggest the Legion
of Honor as the appropriate reward for
bis services.
He adopted this course, says the New
Tork Fun, with the most unpleasant re
sults, Tbe suggestion was, of course,
rejected by the officials to whom It was
made by tbe singer's friends, and Free
Ident Loubet was so disgusted by the
affair that he refused to attend the
performance. The tenor also declined
to take part, as his suggestion that he
would like the decoration was received
with so little courtesy. The result or
the matter was that he left Tarls vow
ing that he would never return. The
feeling over the affair Is such that he
will In ail probability never be asked
to sing at tbe opera under any circum
stances. DEEDS RATHER THAN DREAMS.
Docllae of Imagination aad Ira Moat
Noticeable Keenlt.
It will be difficult to Impress the com
munity that humanity. Is greatly the
loser by the dccllue of Imagination.
President Thwlng of Western Reserve
University professed to regret this
passing emotion In au address he made
recently In the West but It was no
doubt largely a regret of the perfunc
tory order, and one naturally to be ex
pected from a man of letters. If we
have in this practical age lost the
pleasures of ininglnattou, we have
through the Immutable law of compen
sation galued greatly In realisation.
There may be no modern mind capable
of producing another "Faery Queeu,?
but there are countless minds working
for humanity's betterment and weav
tng In place of tbe web of fancy the
staunch though homely texture of en
during benefit
The decline of so-called Imagination
began with the decline of chivalry. It
went out wtth the false Ideas of honor,
with the vauntlngs of bedisened men,
with the bitter class distinctions, wlthl
the contempt for the profession of let
ters and with the poorly cooked food
and other wretched creature comforts
of that period of hampered progress.
In its place has arisen a practical
method of thought In which there la
scant room for the dreamer of dreamt.
In Its place has come a higher regard
for humanity, a wider sphere for wom
an, a new tenderness for childhood and
a general betterment all along the
marching ranks of civilisation.
Imagination la a sweet and gracious
quality, but its decline leaves no void
In a scheme of life that believes in
deeds rather than In dreams. The
world may be too much with us, as old
Wordsworth said, but that was a poet's
protest and poetry is declining, too.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
CLUBS MADE UP OF FREAKS.
Queer Aasoctatlona of Queer Individu
ate la Soaae Parta of Europe.
There have been associations of all
sorts of Individuals formed In this coun
try, but none of them would bear com
parison for freaklshness with some of
Europe's clubs. At Hoogstraelen, a
small Belgian town, a baldheaded club,
to-secure admission to which a calvous
area of twenty-one square centimeters.
or eight snd one-quarters square inches,
Is Imperative, has lately been founded.
Its antithesis exists In the Long-Ualred
Club of Ghent, whose members must
wear either a beard of thirty centi
meters (one foot) or hair of twenty cen
timeters (eight Inches) In length. Les
100 Kilos," a Parisian club for which
no one weighing less than 100 kilos (232
pounds) Is eligible, Is In striking con
trast with "Les Fifty Kilos" of Mar
seilles, to which entrance Is alone per
mitted to such as are over 170 centi
meters (5 feet 7 Inches) In height and
under fifty kilos (118 pounds) In weight
For several years the president of
this club, was a Mr. Be, who, though
nearly 0 feet weighed less than ninety-
eight pounds. Two years ago, however,
be took unto himself a wife, under
whose solicitous care be so rapidly
gained flesh that In less than twelve
months he was compelled to resign his
membership. Berlin boasts of a Big
Mouth Club. In the clubroom Is kept a
wooden ball as large as a medium-sized
orange which every candidate for ad
mission Is required to insert In bis
mouth before his name can go for bal
lot In the same city, too, there Is a
One-Handed Club, composed only of
such as have suffered tbe loss of a
hand.
Two Smart Women.
Mother (anxiously) I am told that
your husband plays poker every night
at the club plays for money, too.
Married Daughter That's all right
He gives me all his winnings "
"What? Do you "
"And he always plays with Mr. Next
door." "What difference can that make."
"Mrs. Nextdoor makes her husband
give ber his. winnings, too, and then she '
gives the money to me, and I hand ber i
what my husband won from hers, and
so we both have about twice as much
money as we could get out of them oth
erwise." New York Weekly.
Literary Cariosities.
The royal library at Windsor Castle
contains about 100,000 volumes, and
among them are many literary' curios.
A nnlque Caxton on vellum, the Bible
which Charles I. took with him to the
scaffold, the same monarch's copy of
Shakspeare, and an original copy of
"The Faery Queen" are among Wind
sor Castle's literary treasures. Tbe
King has taken a keen Interest in .the
doings of contemporary writers, and a
curious little hobby has been the col
lection of pen-nibs used by them. In it
are Included a Browning nib, a Hardy
nib and nibs of other distinctions.
A Remarkable Family.
Count E. de Keratry Informs the
Paris Matin that bis grandfather was
born In 1098, and bis father In 17C9,
he himself being born In 1832, so that
three generations have lived In the
17th, 18th, 19th and 20th centuries.
The Keratry family numbers only 12
generations from 1297 to the present
time, an average of two generations to
a century.
Pretty Japanese Custom.
The Japanese have a custom of cele
brating the blossoming of the fruit
trees by a general holiday.
For every humorist there is In the
world there are at least a thousand wo
men who are nnable to appreciate his
Jokes. ,
How we long for another chance to
clean the mud off our clothes!
V
1 nT
Maa. rats. Cast,
tKerrul street, A aiwtmry, Mast. ,
T!J kfttof Bh4Hi!d carry F&Iih
mrtdOortvlotlon to ttioftomrto
of mU Slok Women.
" I suffered with inflammation and
tailing of the womb and other dis
agreeable female weaknesses. I had
bad spells every two weeks that would
last from eight to ten days and would
have to go to bed. 1 also bad head
ache and backache moat of the time
and such bearing down palna I could
hardly walk aoroas the room at times.
I doctored nearly all the time for
about two yeara and seemed to grow
worse all the time until last September
I was obliged to take my bed, and the
doctors thought an operation waa the
only thing that would help me, but
this I refused to have done.
"Then a friend advised me to try the
Finkham medicine, which. I did, and
after using the first bottle I began to
Improve. I took in all five bottles of
Lydia E. Pinkham'a Blood Purifier,
lour boxes of Lydia E. Pinkham'a Dry
Form Compound, three boxes of Liver
Pills and used three packages of Sana
tive Wash, and I am aa well now as I
ever was, I am more than thankful
every day for my cure." Mas, FK
Caktsr, a Merrill St. Amesbury, Maaw,
Business Repartee,
Strange Lady What's the price of
tbe iron bedstead?
Dealer Twelve dollars, madam.
Strange Lady How much off if I
pay cash?
Dealer Madam, if you don't pay
cash the bodtitead is not for sale.
The Boat Preaertptioa for Mtlarta
hllls and Fever Is a bottle of Grove's Tasteless
Chill Tonic. It Is simply Iron and quinine la
a tasteless form. Mo Curo, Mo Pay. Price 60s.
Horrible Revenge.
Mr. Brutle I'm going to bring
Cudleigh home to dinner on Thurs
day. Mrs. Brutle Why, I thought you
hated that fellow so. Besides, I'll
have to cook the dinner on Thursday.
Mr, Brutle Yes, I know.
ABSOLUTE
SECURITY,
Genuine
Carter's
Little Liver Pills.
Mutt Bear Signature) of
Aao Fao-Slmlie Wrapper Below.
aasmgaa.
ni IUBAC8E
FH DIZZINESS
rDS BIUOUSIESS.
FOR TGRriD LIYFJ.
FOI COMSTIFATHI.
FOI SALLOW SKIM.
FOX THEC0MPLCXI01
tTZ, I nrrely TeraMa.&d 1
CURE SICK HEADACHE.
Brassy.
"I suppose," said the girl in the
pink shirtwa'st, "you have partici
pated in every form of outdoor amuse
ments?" "No," replied the girl in the
Gainsborough hat. "There's one
more river to cross."
"River? Oh, I seel The golf
Styr."
The Kind You Have Always
Tas-y aaaall mmi
to take
CARTERS
IIIMII.IM.I..IIIIMM.Iil,ll. J ' ' I W I .1 1.1 ,1 IJI ,. Ijl l
4iMiM..i hihu, .j, i.!. v. . i. t'AW v.-,- - ....
ture i yuan. n. jr icicncr, ana lias heen made under his
personal supervision for over SO years. Allow no one
to deceive you in this. Counterfeits, Imitations and
J ust-as-good are but Experiments, and endanger the
health of Children Experience against Experiment.
What is CASTORIA
Castoria, is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare
goric, Drops and Hoothing Syrups. It is Pleasant. It
contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic
substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worms
and allays Feveriidincss. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind
ColCm1 r,eUeve9 Teething Troubles, cures Constipation
and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates the
Stomach and Bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep.
The Childrens Panacea The Mother's Friend. ,
The KM You Have Always Bought
Bears the.
In Use For Over 30 Years.
vh ecTua Conway, tt murkav ereirr. Ntwvoaaerrv.
tie Sti Beth Kinds.
Up on Fourth avenue there Is a
storekeeper who likes to be right.
Over his widnow is the sign: ' "Bird
cages ami aquariums." lit the win
dow another sign reads: "Bird cages
and aquaria," The storekeeper
comes out sometimes, looks over the
signs and chuckles as it having
dodged difficult problem.
A Coincidence.
"I suppose It is only a coincidence? "
aUI the young man who is anxious
to learn.
"What is?" inquired the experi
enced friend.
"The tact that most sensational
reformers have been men who wore
so rich they didn't need any more
money, or so poor they had lost all
hopo of getting any,"
, Coxy Comers la the Home.
Church Have you a cony corner in
your bouse?
Gotham Oh, yesj my wlfeliaa ar
ranged two of them.
"You must enjoy them after a bard
days work?"
"Enjoy nothing I The eat has one
and my wife's dog occupies the other."
fortified.
Mrs. Hattcrson I'm going to meet
my husband at 1 o'clock to select
some decorations for the drawing
room.
Mrs, Clatterson What do -'.you
want him with you for?
"Well, in case they don't turn out
right I can say it's his fault."
When Willis Got Heme
"Mrs. Knox," said the hostess at
dinner, "your little boy doesn't seem
to have much appetite."
"No, he doesn't; that's a fact."
"Don't bo bashful, Willie," urged
the hostess. "Won't you have
some more of anything?"
"No, ma'am," Willie replied j "I
filled up on cookies before we come,
'cause I heard nia tell pa that we
wouldn't get much here."
FARM MACHINERY AND SUPPLIES.
, j
BmI poMlble to build. BMt nialorml. Hm pro.
portion. M Snub. I.llitmt running. Nevvniv
frmrW iiwrionve, MIK HSI.L, LSTW1 A
HTAVKH Co., 1st ana Taylur Sit., fortlana. Or.
LAUD PLASTER
jPsy Atents wanted In every town.
SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES.
r ef ISJO
A Hmmm Schi to Bmym
milt mry mntt Mmmmml Trmtnlnm
Fall rfn OjMMta Mmmt. 12, IBOI
wrrrm im llivmtrmtwm Oofaocw
33
a-
St. Melon's Hall
PORTLAMO, OftrOOH.
A Boarding and Umj School for Girls,
Has a Kornat Kindergarten Training; benart.
ment, which will have a separate re.ldenre lor
kindergarten clauses this Kali. Tbe Hoarding
Department provides a cheerful and well ar
ranged home fur young ladies. For Catalogue
or other Information annlv to
MISS ELEANOR TtUBKTTfl, Principal.
1)0 ms seen rait.
San Francises Business College
1S36 Market St., San rranelseo, Cat.
FULL COURSE, $60.00.
Write for Catalogue.
am. Jones'
FLESH GROWER.
Prlom $2.00.
This Is the genuine. It Inerea.
a fle.li on any part of Ibe body,
develop bust to any desired sle
and makes round, plump face aad
neck. K.mores aU blackheads,
tan. frenklM. plmnles, flesh
worms, and makes tbe skin son and white. Write
IOraents' term, nnt, sc. Jimij s vu.
unities eiweii auicx wveea oiag,, vuKaejv, iu.
. r. k. v.
a, st-isei.
VHCti writing; U advertisers please
1 1 moutloa this paper.
Bought has borne the signa
Signature of
suffereothf.ee ens.
CATABHH OF STQ'UCH.
Miss Evelyn Morse writes from 631
Adams street, Minneapolis, - Minn.,
as follows t
"I suffered for nearly three years
with catarrh of the stomach which no
medicine seemed
to relieve, until a
friend advined me
to try lruna.
Although skfpti
cal, I tried It, mid
fou ml it lic)Kd
me within the
ilraf week, I
kept taking it for
three month, and
Miss Ereljra Morse.
am pleased to say that It cured mo
entirely, and I have had no sympt
oms of its return. I am only too
glad to recommend It." Evelyn
Morse,
Address Dr. Hartman, President ot
The Hartman Banitsrium, Columbus,
Ohio, tor free advice. ,
Jildt Bound.
Ascum What are you so down on
the Engliah for?
Cass idy Why shouldn't I? Look
at the stories they do be tolliu' about
thlm.
Ascum Yes, but they tell stories
about tho Irish, too, which you say
are lies.
Cassidy Aye, but all the lies they
tell about the English are true,
II If' ! .. ! It
fOO KNOW WUAT YOU ARB TAKINO
When von take Grove's Tasteless Chill Ton In, '
eeeause the formula Is plainly printed oa every
bottle showing that It Is simply Iron aad tint
Bine io a tasteless tana. Mo Cure. No far, too.
The Giddy Thlnj.
Mr. Manhattan I hear you subur
banites go to bed every night at 8.
Isolate, (ot Lonelyville, indignant
ly) It's no such thing. Why, I
have sn alarm clock to wake mo up
in the morining and can't wind its
alarm up till tho hour band Is past 0
o'clock, so we have to sit up that Ute
every night except Saturday.
Ensilage
Cutter.
Rmt and on If
perfect bloD.rcut
ter no the market.
Send lor circular.
Mlti'heli, Lewis A
Slaver t'n.
Port I suit, Ore.
JOHN POOLE, Portland, Oregon,
Feet ot Morrisoa Street,
Can give yon the best bargains la
Baggies, Mows, Boilers and KnKlnee,
Windmills and Pornoi an I General
Machinery. See us before buying.
ff The Perfection of Wall Plaster, will not all off, even
thntmh . Iik.. w t- .1 . .
" . ..wi vj mv unfiling 01 waier pipes.
Bend as yonr address and reeelve circular
how In. what others hare sained bjrlhe ute o(
Laud Plaster.
WE ADAMANT CO.,
Foot of 14th Street. rHlmntl, Oragmm.
ire'SIOT PEINSIOIN
If SiCK'Oso. Wsstilniien, 0. C, their will re,
I eetre quick repli. a. Mh N. M. Vol.. Stal
Wo Corps. ProseouUng claims si tire 187.
. .......
Summer Resolution
?" Itcoloy Curo
Sure relief bom llouor, opium and tobaoee
habit Bead lor particulars to
Just So.
Little Elmer (nhci has an iiiqiiir--Intf
mind) Papa, wliat is firmness?
Prof. Iiroadliend.The exerciso of
will power, my son.
Little Elcmer Well, sir, what is
obstinacy?
Prof?. Broadhead. Tho exercise of
won't power, my son.
Hmim lh Oovpfi and
Lasstlve Itrom4julnlne Tablets cure scold In
one day. . Eo cure, No Pay, frloe 86 ceaU.
Lest Opportunity.
"And didn't yon hear of it?" in
quired Mrs. Gabble.
"Not one word."
"Why, I've known it for a week,
so I supposed every body had heard
of it."
I am sure Plso's Cure for Consumption
snved my life three years airo. Mas. Tho.
Kobrins. Maple street, Norwich, N. V..
Feb. 17, 1000. , . ..,
Might Be Cheaper.
Tcss So ho jilted her, eh? That
must have made her feci cheap.
Jess Not so cheap as he might
wish. She computes the damage to
her heart at $25,000.
they Wavar rail.
Almost never." Cascarets cure so large a per.
rentage, that they're guaranteed tocurechron.
ic conatlpalion ot money refunded. Urugglsts,
100,25c, 60c.
Too Much Criticism,
"I hoar your husband is ill, Mrs.
Jones."
"Yes'um."
"Nothing serious or critical, I
hope?" ,
"Critical? I should say he were.'
He ain't satisfied with nothin" he
ain't."
FIT6 f .rman.nllr Cured. No ft or
III tft.r nrHT'.inrf !r. KMa.'t Qr.t Nm
lUatonr. Snd for FKB IC S'J.OOtrUI hotllond trwt.
its. Da.S.11 !UiNS,Lt4..WI ArohSt.,riUfttl.lilla,rs,
Simple When You Know.
"I was up in the mill district today.
Frightfully noisy up there."
"That's right, I've got a friend
who lives up there. lie can't hear
himself talk irr his house."
"My I Boiler shop next door?"
"No, He's deaf and dumb."
Mothers will find Mrs. Wlnslow's Sooth
ing Byrup the best remedy to use ior their
obildren during tbe teething period.
A Matter of Policy.
"See here, Cassidy," said DeKan
ter, "I caught one of your bartenders
today putting water in tho whisky."
"Well, sor," Cassidy replied, "y
must understand that we have to
make some concessions to the torn ner-
ance people" ,