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About The Athena press. (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942 | View Entire Issue (May 11, 1917)
New Houston Hotel SIXTH AND EVERETT STS. Four Blocks from Union Station. Under new management. All rooms newly decorated. SPECIAL RATES BY WEEK OR MONTH Rates 50c, 75c $1, $1.50 Per Day. I HOTEL in the NORTHWEST t- J Eric V. Mauser, Pretident. ,550 75 JAMllnr of America'i Eiceptional HolrliCff WHEN IN SEATTLE (TRY CDVP THE " l I u YES! MAGICALLY! CORNS LIFT OUT WITH FINGERS You corn-pestered men and women need Buffer no longer. Wear the shoes that nearly killed you before, says this Cincinnati authority, because few drops of freezone applied directly on a tender, aching corn or callus, stops soreness at once and soon the corn or hardened callus loosens so it can be lifted out, root and all, with out pain. A small bottle of freezone costs very little at any drug store, but will positively take off every hard or soft corn or callus. This should be tried, as it is inexpensive and 1b said not to Irritate the surrounding skin. If your druggist hasn't any freezone tell him to get a small bottle for you from his wholesale drug house. It Is fine stuff and acts like a charm every time. SEATTLE'S HOTEL On- LARGEST Only three blocks from Depots and Docks, poslte City Hall Park and Court House, THE FINEST DOLLAR ROOM IN AMERICA Willi detached bath, 1 person. 11.00 1 60 2 persons. SI. 60 2.00 With private bath, 1 person. (2.00 $2.50 13.00 2 persons. $3.00 t3.60 $4.00 "When In Seattle Try the Frye" O FORD CARS Every Ford Car should carry ono ex tra tire it bsvo changing on the road. THE TWIN RIM flta both front nnd rear wheol. Appliod in 5 min utes. Saves time, clothea, temper and religion. Price $6.60. Sent parcel post prepaid, upon re ceipt of price. ORIOON VUI.CAN1ZIKQ CO., "Tho Tire Shop." 833-336 Burnside st., i'ortland, Oregon SHIP Veal, Pork. Beef. Poultry, Butter, Eggs and Farm Produce to the Old Reliable Kverding house with a record of 45 years of Square Dealings, and be assured of TOP MARKET PRICES. F. M. CRONKHITE 48-47 Front Street Portland, Oregon We Are Buyers of Veal, Hogs, Hides, Poultry, Eggs, Etc. Your shipment, to u. will bring to you prompt return, and beat possible prices. WRITE FOR SHIPPING TAGS. VALLEY PRODUCE COMPANY, 116 Front St., Portland, Oregon Worth While. Jake Johnson, a native of Georgia, was summoned to court on an assault charge. The state brought into court the weapons used a huge pole, a dag ger, a pair of shears, a saw and a gun. Jackson's counsel produced as the complainant's weapons an ax, a shov el, a scythe, a hoe and a pair of tongs. The Jury was out but a Bhort while and returned with this verdict: "Re solved, That we, the Jury, would have given J5 to see the fight." Santa Fe Magazine. Look and F6el Clean, Sweet and Fresh Every Day Drink a glass of real hot water before breakfast to wash w out poisons. 10 CENT "CASCARET8" FOR LIVER AND BOWEL8 Cure Sick Headache, Constipation, Biliousness, Sour Stomach, Bad Breath Candy Cathartic WHOLESALE PLUMBING GOODS Auto Supplies Direct to You WRITE TODAY FLEMING PLUMBING SUPPLY HOUSE 112 Fourth St., Portland. Ore. LEARNT A TRADE. Gun Tractor nnd Auto mobile men are in ilemund. We ara giving a com plate course in both for the price of one tuition, for short timo only. Largo oUkM now graduat ing and have room for few moro men. Catalog and details free. Hemphill'. Tfide Schools, 20th & Hawthorne Portland, Oregon. "C. B." MINERS & CO. UNIVERSAL REPAIR and MACHINE SHOP AUTOMOBILE RCPAIRIMQ AND RUUILDIM. . I. Con. FIFTH AND 0UI1N ITI. PORTLAND, ORIOON' ELECTRIC MOTORS Bought, Sold, Rented and Repaired wai.kkk muMJitwj wukkh Burndide, cor. Huh. Portland, Oro. HIDES, PELTS. CASCARA BARK, WOOL AND MOHAIR. Wi Vint ill roil hm. Write lor prlcta anil shipping tags THE H. F. NORTQN Co. Mind, Ore.; Seattle, Wn. No odds how bad your liver, stom ach or bowels; how much your head aches, how miserable you are from constipation, Indigestion, biliousness and sluggish bowels you always get relief with Cascarets. iney Imme diately cleanse and regulate the stom ach, remove the sour, fermenting food and foul gases; take the excess bile from the liver and carry off tho con stipated waste m-ttcr and poison from the Intestine, and bowels. A 10-cent box from your druggist will keep your liver and bowels clean; stomach sweet and head clear for months. They work while you sleep. Advt Life Is not merely to live, but to live well, eat well, digest well, work well, sleep well, look well. What glorious condition to attain, and yet how very easy it is if one will only adopt the morning Inside bath. Folks who are accustomed to feel dull and heavy when they arise, split ting headache, Btuffy from a cold, foul tongue, nasty breath, acid stomach. can, Instead, fell as fresh as a daisy by opening the sluices of the system each morning and flushing out the whole of the Internal poisonous stag nant matter. Evoryone, whether ailing, sick or well, should, each morning, before breakfast, drink a glass of real hot water with a teaspoonful of limestone phosphate in it to wash from the stomach, liver, kidneys and bowels the previous day's indigestible waste, sour bile and poisonous toxins; thus cleansing, sweetening and purifying the entire alimentary canal before nutting more food into the stomach The action of hot water and limestone phosphate on an empty stomach is wonderfully invigorating. It cleans out all the sour fermentations, gases, waste and acidity and gives one splendid appetite for breakfast. While you are enjoying your breakfast the water and phosphate is quietly ex trading a large volume of water from the blood and getting ready for a thor ough flushing of all the inside organs The millions of people who are bothered with constipation, bilious spells, stomach trouble, rheumatism others who have sallow skins, blood disorders and sictcly complexions are urged to get a quarter pound of lime stone, phosphate from the drug store which will cost very little, but is suf ficlent to make anyone a pronounced crank on the subject of Internal sanl tattoo. Why he Came Home. Roscoe Boone, a Muncie electrical contractor, went home late the other after-noon to find Mrs. Boone enter taining a company of women at cards, He had forgotten about the party, and besides it was the usual period of the day for him to remember about the evening meal. "Oh, Mr. Boone," said one of the guests as ho stumbled upon the room filled with women, "did you come home to supper?" "Oh, no; not at all," he replied gal lantly, oven If somewhat confusedly. "1 just came home to see what time it was." Indianapolis News. At the Rehearsal. "You must bring that mermaid in the moving picture sea story more up to date." "What's tho matter with the ar rangement now?" "In posing her on the rock you've given her a golden harp. For heaven's Hake, man, take It away and give her a ukulele." Baltimore American. FRED P. GORIN, Palenl Attorney. Oriranlzpr and Developer. Paten 4 Hecnreit or Km Refunded. KKKE. Toy X-Hay 1'late: ahowa every bone in your body Hulil tliroutrli your clothing. Suit 7111. 701A, 70111. 7011J. Central bldir., Seattle STUDY hookkeoiiinir, alierlband. telegraphy, aaloHinanahiii. EnKlinh hranchoH, at an accredited chool; write, or phone Main rU0 for catalogue; HradualoH guaranteed positions, ltehiike-Walker BuslnOHS College. 1G7 4th Street, near Morriaon. Portland. Oregon. Trustful. Edith "Jack told me I was so Inter esting and so beautiful." Marie "And yet you will trust yourself for life with a man who begins deceiving you so oarly." Boston Transcript. Handling the Receiver. 'Well," said tho far west mayor to the English tourist, "1 dunno how you manage these affairs over there, but out here, when some of our boys got tied up in that thar bankrupt telephone company I was tellln' jer ubout, they became mighty crusty!" "Oh!" "Yus; they didn't like (he way the receiver was handlln' the business no how." "Indeed!" commented tho earnest listener; "then, may 1 ask what thoy did?" "Sartlnly; I wuz goin' tor tell yer. Thoy Just hung up the receiver." Home Life. "Prof. Illggs, the famous archaeol ogist, is said to have discovered half a dozen burled cities." "Mrs. Dlggs ought to bo proud of him." "Well, yes. But she would probably havo more respect for his ability as an oxplorer If sho didn't have to find his hat for bira nearly every time he leaveB tho house." Birmingham Age-Herald. An Arkansas Adventure. As he was transferring oars at Little Itock two men robbed him, getting nothing. Memphis Banner. "Who stood up for Jack when ho married Miss Flirtlelgh?" "No one. Everybody called bin) a fool." Boston Transcript I Do Your Own Plumbing Br buying direct from ua at wholaaala pricaa and aava the plumber' a profits. Write ua to day your needs. We will give you our ruck bottom "direet-to-you" prleea. f. a b. nil or boat We actually aave you from 10 to iu per cent Ail goods guaranteed. Northweat headuuartera for Leader Water 8yatema and Fuller A Johnaon Eiurinea. STARK-DAVIS CO. 212 Third Street Portland. Or. toe P. N. U. No. 16, 1917 His Sole Occupation. Choi ly Will you marry me stop smoking cigarots? Miss Bright No, Mr. Sappy: couldn't think of marrying a man who did nothing. Exchange. if I I Not so Sure. Sentry (to McDongal, returning from wedding festivities) rass, frind; all's well. McDongal Thank ye, laddie. But ye dlnna ken tho guid wife or ye would na' he so sure. London Opinion. I'm Simply Covered With Eruption What Can I do? "I can't rest, I can't sleep, and most of all, I hardly dare go out, for when It starts itching, I simply have to scratch, no matter where I am." "Don't worry a bit just get a cake of Ueslnol Soap and a Jar of Reslnol Ointment. 11 so them according to di rections and I am sure you will get prompt relief, and that your skin will be all right in a few days." Reslnol Soap and Olntmont are sold by all druggists. Uncertain. Visitor What kind of a fellow is this Judgo Bump? Backwoods Citizen He's too dum uncertain. You never can tell in ad vance on a law suit Just which side lie is for. Judgo. Slow. Mrs. Willis This paper says the woman died before help could reach her. Mrs. Gillls I dou't wonder, if she tlepended on tho employment agencies in mis town. Liro. NtW MOOCH DANCING. E. Fletcher llailamore, the leading Dancing Ex pert and Instructor in New York City, wrltea: "1 havo used ALLEN'S FOOT-KASE. the antiaepUc powder to bo ahaken into the ahoee, for ten yenra, and recommend it to all my pupils." H cures and preventa euro feet. Bold by all Drug and Depart ment Stores, :lfe. Sample ncBO. Addreaa. Allen S. Olmated, Lo Roy, N. Y. Shown Up. "If you want your wife to continue to look up to you" "Yes?" "Don't let her get you Into a bridge game." Louisville Courier-Journal. TAKE8 OFF DANDRUFF, HAIR 8TOP8 FALLING Save your Halrl Got 25cent bottle of Danderlne right now Alto atop Itching scalp. Thin, brittle, colorless and soraggy hair Is mute evidence o a neglected scalp; of dandruff that awful aourf. There is nothing so destructive to the hair as dandruff. It robs the hair of Its lustre, Its strength and Its very life; eventually producing a feverish ness and lng of the scalp, which If not remedied causes the hair roots to shrink, loosen and die then the hair falls out fast A little Danderlne tonight now any time will surely save your hair. Oet a 26-cent bottle of Kuowlton's Danderlne from any drug store. You surely can have beautiful hair and lota of It If you will just try a little danderlne. Save your hair! Try it! Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets are the original little liver pills put up 40 years ago. They regulate liver ana Doweis, Not Much to Say. "You have sworn to tell nothing but the truth." "Nothing but the truth your honor?" Precisely. "Then, Judge, with that limitation upon me I might as well warn you that I'm not going to have mucb to say." Detroit Free Press. Called Bet Off. Miss Elder I'll bet you a hundred that 1 11 never marry. Mr. Easy I'll take you. Miss Elder (rapturously) Will you, really? Then I wont bet after all Boston Transcript. Very Active . Bing He'B very active in financial matters, isn t he? Bang You bet; he owes me J10, and every time he sees me he dodges me. Exchange. In a Man- Crowded Shop. -Can we stay here nil First night? Second Man (helpfully) We won't take up much room. I walk In my sleep. Panther. "He passed away very calmly." "Naturally; he was an easy-going man." Boston Transcript. Freedom. The Boy I shall be glad when I am old enough to do as I please. The Man And about that time you will go off and get married, so It won't do you much good after all. New York Times. (WEEKS' ?KLV.USSL 1 FOR COLDS AND LA GRIPPE hi trooil vt.ii run iitTun. t Insist unit ieo !mM bv best druiftfieta 25c QorQ Q Every Niqht For Constipation Hedddche.Indi3csti0n.etc RANDRETH PILLS Safe and Sure ..rrrtTtVl tie. I HI 11-1 LOSSES SURELY PREVENTED ill II LA "V CUTTER'S BLACKLEG PILLS mmmm Low-priced, frrih. tflUbleii mw v 1 mm m m western toot- W wrotjcl wl'erei vaeclnot n II. Write lot Nroklct ami test imonlalit, 10-doit Bill. BlMklM Pitts. IU Btdi Dki. BlMklu Plllt. 14.00 Vie any tnlcrtur, hut Cuttat'i fllni.itmt and Strongest. Tin iiiij,,rlty l Cutter prir.1u.ta g ilua to over It yMrtuliprv (tilting In VACi'lNBS AND SKKl'MS ONLY. Insist ON CUTTXH'S. II unobuituble, snlw direct. Tfet Cutur Laterttorv. Btrttliy, California 11 WANTED: A dealer H your town lo sail the CLEVELAND MOTORCYCLE Tha new idcaa In it make it an attractive prepo- aition for live dealera who want to make monoy. It aella on alirht. Trice 1170.00: (Kick Btartar, $180.00). Two aixmla. Hoach maxnoto. etc. Write for partlculara. CUVIlaNS M0T0M1CU CO M3 tu Jr., poaruao. OKtos WE SELL SEED BEANS! SEED POTATOES! WHY SOUP IS TOO SALTY Frequently Failure Because the Proper Kind of Flavoring Was Not Used In It The average housewife wonder why sue often over or under salts her dishes when she "knows" that she suited them Just right, as she always ulo, nnd as the recipes called for. The reason Is just this : The season ing value of different brands of salt va rles widely. This is easily proved. Take five slices of ripe tomatoes; ap ply equal .parts of five makes of salt upon the separate pieces. Eat as soon as salted. The difference In flavor, permeation, rapidity and equality of dissolution and seasoning value are readily detected. A table salt should be fine, the crys tals of equal size, quickly soluble and free from Ingredients which absorb moisture from the air. Large and small crystals will not dissolve uni formly, consequently the full salting effect Is not obtained until the large crystals are dissolved. The quickly soluble salt diffuses Itself through the food at once and gives an equality of savor. Sticky salt is an Intrusive nuisance. Failures In saltinc are largely due to changing from one make of salt to an other. Get the best grade, grow accus tomed to Its use, stick to It. SAVING IN ODDS AND ENDS Small Economies That Seem to Amount to Little, but Are Well Worth Keeping in Mind. Never throw away the water that dried beef has been boiled In. A bay leaf and a few cloves cooked In this stock gives It a pleasant flavor. Add a tiny bit of red pepper and serve in bouillon cups with a slice of lemon. Tho stock from half a pound of dried beef will serve four persons. Suve the pound tins in which baking- powder comes and use them to steam brown bread and puddings, allowing less time for cooking than when the large steamer is used ; about one hour nnd a half Is enough for bread and two for suet pudding. Finding thnt I had a lot of small ends of puraffln candles that were too short to use for lighting purposes, I lilt upon the scheme of melting them up, taking out the wick and then using the melted parnfln as a covering for Jelly, marmalade, etcPeople's Home Journal. LADIES! DARKEN YOUR GRAY HAIR Use Grandma's Sage Tea and Sulphur Recipe and Nobody will Know. The use of Sage and Sulphur for re storing faded, gray hair to IU natural color dates back to grandmother's time. She used it to keep her hair beautifully dark, glossy and attractive. Whenever her hair took on that dull, faded or streaked appearance, this simple mixture was applied with won derful effect. But brewing at home is mussy and out-of-date. Nowadays, by asking at any drug store for a 60 cent bottle of "Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur Com pound," you will get this famous old preparation, improved by the addition of other ingredients, which can be de pended upon to restore natural color and beauty to the hair. A well-known downtown druggist says it darkens the hair so naturally and evenly that nobody can tell it has been applied. You simply dampen a sponge or soft brush with it and draw this through your hair, taking one strand at a time. By morning the gray hair disappears, and after an other application or two, It becomes beautifully dark and glossy. Wyeth s Sage and Sulphur Com pound Is a delightful toilet requisite for those who desire a more youthful appearance. It Is not Intended for the cure, mitigation or prevention of dla- ire Marine after ExDoanre In Cold, Cutting Winds and Dust. It Restores, RsfrMhes and Promotes Eve Health. Good for all Eves that Need Care. Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago, Sends Eye Book on request Sauce for Maitre De Hotel. One sliced onion, six whole peppers nnd a bay leaf In n saucepan with two ounces of good butter on the hot stove, Stir In two tablespoonfuls of flour to thicken, then mix In a pint of chicken or white broth. SIlx well, remove any fat accumulated. Add a half teaspoon ful of salt. Cook for twenty-five min utes. Bent the yolks of three eggs with the Juice of half a lemon, being careful not to boil again after they hnve been added, then put through a leve. Add then a teaspoonful of hopped parsley, half an ounce of but ter, small teaspoonful of pepper and half a teaspoonful of nutmeg. Family Pride. Are you doing anything to make your children proud of you? I am," replied Mr. BUgglns. All the young, people will tell you I am me Dest dancer m the entire neighbor hood." Washington Star. IF YOUR CHILD IS CRO 8, FEVERI8H, CONSTIPATED Look Mother! If tongue It coated, cleanse little bowels with "Cali fornia Syrup of rig," Handy Things for the Kitchen. A bottle makes a good potato manner, A can cover with a few holes punched in it makes a good grater. A lnrge kettle makes a good bread box and then you have it for extra use, such as boiled dinners. Sifted wood nshes make a good cleanser. Put your soiled handkerchiefs in cold water and a little soap powder, let boll a few minutes nnd they will wash very easy. When making Ice crenm whip your cream first. It Is enougli better to pay. Honey Divinity. One-third cupful strained honey, two cupfuls sugnr, one-third cupful water, two egg whites, one cupful pnean meats, broken In pieces; one teaspoon ful vanilla. Cook honey, sugnr and water together until mixture will spin duo thread from tho tines of a fork. Ilent the egg whites until stiff and imir syrup over them, bentlng nil the line. When slightly cooled add vanil- nnd nut meats. Beat until cudy logins to harden. Drop from n spoon 11 little piles on buttered tins or on wnxod pnper. Mothers' Mngnzlne. Money In "Waste" Material. The wnste material business in the United States hns amounted to more tlinn $1,000,000,000. oiflclnls of the as sociation inert.' There have been ex- raordlMry Increases In the prices of wnste materials durln the Inst year, t wns announced. Used Sunday flve- ent newspapers are now worth one tut "hi binek stockings bring nbout me cent n pair, woolen rags are worth Hi cents n pound to dealers, while dxed rags lell for four nnd a half nts In the middle West and threo nts on the Pacific const. Berkshire Sardines. Remove, fish from box, tuke out back ings and break into small pieces. Molt four tnblespoonfuls of butter, ndd tie-qunrter cupful of brend crumbs nd one cupful of cream or rich milk, with a little moro butter. Stir until heated, add two hard-boiled eggs nely chopped nnd the snrdlnes. Sen- son wltn snit, pepper nnu pnpriKti. When very hot pour over toast. CASH PAID FOR RANCH EGGS, DA!M BUTTER NO COMMISSION S. N. HEIDENREICH 74 Front St., Portland, Or.! "RUPTURE IT'S CAUSE AND CURE" la the till, of a bookl.t. W. .,11 mail ,ou on. Itm, AdaVeW Dapt. C, A. LUNDBERO CO., 1107 Third Ave, Seattle. Bollea Dressing. This Is a good boiled salad dressing: Boat the yolks of two eggs unlll reniny. flx with a teaspoonful of niisturd, the same of salt, three table- spoonfuls of sugar, two tablespoonfuls of cream and one of butter. Over this pour two-thirds of a cupful of hot vinegar and cook over hot water, stir ring until thick and smooth. Cool and use with vegetable salads. A Kind Husband. Mrs. Flatbush Oh, dear I Mr. Flatbush What's wrong nowt "Oh, 1 read today that If the earth were to revolve seventeen times fast er than It does bodies at tha equator would lose their weight and remain sta tionary In the air without support." "Dont worry, dear; if we ever get there 111 support you just the Mothers can ret easy after giving "California Syrup of Figs," because In a few hours all the clogged-up waste, sour bile and fermenting food gently moves out of the bowels, and you have a wen, playful child again. Sick children needn't be coaxed to take this harmless "fruit laxative." Millions of mothers keep it handy be cause they know Its action on the stomach, liver and bowels Is prompt and sure. Ask your druggist for a 60 cent bot tle of "California Syrup of Figs," which contains directions for babies, children of all ages and tor grown-ups. Wanted Help. Wills Did the efficiency expert that you had at your office accomplish any thing? Gilis Well, he made some good dis coveries, but spoiled them by his re commendations. For Instance, he found out that the office boy was wasting considerable time and recommended that we engage an assistant to roll his cigarettes. Puck. Paradoxical. "Do you think armed vessels are likely to be sunk?" "Not If they get the drop first" Baltimore American. It's Death on Feathers. "Mother, has Fido gone to heaven? asked little Mamie, who had been told that a little sister was there. Dogs don't go to heaven." said mother, "but little sister is there, and she is an angel, you know, with wings." Mamie thought a moment and said "Maybe it is Just as well, for Fido was death on feathers, you know." Phila delphia Public Ledger. W. L. DOUGLAS "the shoe that holds its shape" $3 $3.50 $4 $4.50 $5 $6 $7 & $8 anfV!5n Save Money by Wearing W. L Douglas shoes. For sale by over 9000 shoe dealers. The Best Known Shoes in the World. W. L. Douglas name and the retail price is stamped on the bot tom of all shoes at the factory. The value is guaranteed and the wearer protected against high prices for inferior shoes. The retail prices are the same everywhere. They cost no more in San Francisco than they do in New York. They are always worth the price paid for them. TTie quality of W, L. Douglas product is guaranteed by more than 40 years experience in making fine shoes. The smart styles are the leaders in the Fashion Centres of America. They are made in a well-equipped factory at Brockton. Mass., by the highest paid, skilled shoemakers, under the direction and supervision of experienced men, all working with an honest determination to make the best shoes tor the price that money can buy. Ask your shoe dealer for W. T,. Douglas shoes. If he can not supply you with the kind you want, take no other make. Write for Interesting booklet explaining how to get snoes of the highest standard of quality for tl3 price. by return mall, postage free. LOOK FOR W. L. Douglas name and the retail price tamped on the bottom. Boys' Shoes Best in the World $3.00 $2.50 & $2.00 Prealdent W.I.. uong-laa HUM (;. I So HparK St., BracKwn, HAVE SOFT, WHITE HANDS Using Clear Skin and Good Hair by Cutlcura Trial Free. The Soap to cleanse and purify, the Ointment to soothe and heal. Besides these fragrant, super-creamy emol lients prevent little skin troubles be coming serious by keeping the pores free from obstruction. Nothing better at any price for all toilet purposes. Free sample eaoh by mail with Book. Address postcard, Cutlcura, Dept. L, Boston. Sold everywhere. Adv. Maybe She's Learned Since. Recently we heard a man boast that no one could fool his wife. Then the thought that came to ua was, how did he get her? Morgan County Democrat. "See here, that costume is cu" en tirely too low for a ball room. "Don't be absurd, mother. This is a street costume. '- The Boston Way They tell in Boston a story about Margaret Deland, the novelist. A lank little girl at a Cambridge tea walked up to Mrs. Deland and said to her in a loud voice: "I think you are a wonderful genius." All within hearing applauded, and Mrs. Deland blushed with delight, kissed the lank child and asked: 'Why do you say that, my love?" 'Because," said the little girl, "mother told me to."- Exchange. "He is a man of iron." "He may be, but he is not well tempered." Baltimore American. Stale News. Railway Attendant (to man smok ing) You can't smoke. The Smoker So my friends say. Railway Attendant But you mustn't smoke. The Smoker So my doctor says. Railway Attendant Well, you sha'n't smoke. The Smoker So my wife ,says. Puck. Sharp. Jack Do you know that Kitty is an awfully sharp girl? Percy Yes, she cut me on the street the other day. Cornell Widow. END 8TOMACH TROUBLE, GASES OR DY8PEP8IA "Pape'a Dlapepsln" make Sick, Sour, Gassy Stomachs surely feel fine In five minutes. A Leg Hold. "Has Jimson ever had much of hold on you?" "He succeeded in pull ing my leg once! Judge. Didn't Mean It That Way. An old lady who had been Intro duced to a doctor, who was a professor in a university, felt somewhat nuzzled as to how she would address the great man. "Shall I call you 'doctor' or 'profes sor t" sne asked. Oh! Just as you wish," was the reply; "as a mater of fact, some people can me an old idiot." "Indeed," she said sweetly. "But then, they are people that know you." rillsDurg Chronicle. A Woman's Trouble TrnnMal. ftra. jigtoa. "I was irouDiea witn weakness from which women suf fer and after tak ing two bottles of Itoctor Pierces Favorite Prescrip tion I was entirely relieved." Mrs. M. E. Johnson, Troutdale.Oregou. The mighty restorative power of Doctor Pierce's Favorite Prescription speedily causes nil womanly troubles to disappearcompels the organs to properly perform their natural func tions, corrects displacements, over comes irregularities, removes pain and misery at certain times ana brings back health and strength to nervous, irritable and exhausted women. For all diseases peculiar to women, Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription is a powerful restorative. For nearly 50 years it has banished from the lives of tens of thousands of women the pain, worry, misery and distress caused by irregularities and diseases of a feminine character. What Dr. Tierce's Favorite Pre scription has done for thousands it will do for you. Get it this very day from any medicine dealer, in either liquid or tablet, form; or send 50 cents to Dr. Pierce, Invalids' Hotel, Buffalo, S. Y., for trial box of tablets. Questions of Sex f An fully and properly answered in The People's Com men Sense Medical Adviser, by R. V. Pieroe, M. 1). It contains the knowl edge a young man or woman, wife or daughter, should have. 1008 pages with color plates, bound in cloth. By mail, prepaid on receipt of 3 dimes r stamps. If what you Just ate 1b souring on your stomach or lies like a lump of lead, refusing to digest, or you belch gas and eructate sour, undigested food, or have a feeling of dizziness, heartburn, fullness, nausea, bad taste in mouth and stomach-headache, you can get blessed relief in five minutes. Put an end to stomach trouble forever by getting a large fifty-cent case of Pape'a Dlapepsln from any drug store. You realize in five minutes how need less it Is to suffer from Indigestion, dyspepsia or any stomach disorder. It's the quickest, surest stomach doc tor in the world. It's wonderful. I EOF II Take Salts to flush Kidneys if Back hurts or Bladder bothers. If you must have your meat every day, eat it, but flush your kidneys with salts occasionally, says a noted authority who tells us that meat forma uric acid which almost paralyzes the kidneys in their efforts to expel It from the blood. They become slug gish and weaken, then you suffer with a dull misery In the kidney region, sharp pains in the back or sick head ache, dizziness, your stomach sours, tongue is coated and when the weath er is bad you have rheumatic twinges. The urine gets cloudy, full of sedi ment, the channels often get sore and Irritated, obliging you to seek relief two or three times during the night To neutralize these irritating acids,, to cleanse the kidneys and flush off the body's urinous waste yet four ounces of Jad Salts from any phar macy here; take a tablespoonful In a glass of water before breakfast for a few days and your kidneys will then act fine. This famous salts Is made from the acid 1 of grapes and lemon juice, combined with lit na, and has been used for generations to flush and stimulate sluggish kidneys, also to neutralize the acids in urine, so It no longer Irritates, thus ending bladder weakness. Jad Salts Is Inexpensive; cannot in jure, and makes a delightful efferves cent lithia water drink. A Lesson In Grammar. Grace's uncle met her on the street one day and asked her whether she was going out 'with a picnic party from her school. "No," replied the 8-year-old niece, "I ain't going." "My dear," said the uncle, "you must not say 'I ain't going.' You must say 'I am not going.'" And he pro ceeded to give her a little lesson in grammar. "You are not going. He is not going. We are not going. You are not going. They are not going. Now, can you say all that?" "Sure I can," responded Grace, heartily, "There ain't nobody going." His Yearning. "What kind of pie have you got yur?" inquired Mr. Gap Johnson of Rumpus Ridge, Ark., who was lunch ing in the Palace restaurant at Tum linville. "Apple, peach, punk'n, razbry, mince, lemon, apercot, and cokernut custard!" recited the wasp-walsted waitress with considerable speed. "All right," further said Mr. John son, -'.'that s what I want Kansas City Star. The spring garden wants its place in the sun and wants it bad. Memphis Commercial-Appeal. peratiens The Right Medicine in Many Cases Does Better than the Surgeon's Knife. Tribute to Lydia E. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound. Doctor Said Operation or Death Bat Medicine Cared. Des Moines. Iowa. "Mv husband savs I would have been in my grave today had it not been for Lyaia n.. rmicnam s v egetable Ltoni pound. 1 sul fered from a serious female trouble and the doctors said I could not live one year without an operation. My husband objected to the operation and had me try Lydia E. Rnkham's Vegetable Compound. I soon commenced to eet better and am now well and able to do my own housework. I can recom- manl Twrlio V 1 !Vl-l... . V. Vr,.,., V.l,. i ' 1 . any woman as a wonderful health restorer." Mrs. Blanche Jeffebson,703 Lyon St, Des Moines, Iowa. Another Operation Avoided. Richmond, Ind. "For two years I was so sick and weak from female troubles that when going up stairs I had to go very slowly with my hands on the steps, then sit down at the top to rest. The doctor said he thought I should have an operation, and my friends thought I would not live to move into our new house. My daughter asked me to try Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound as she had taken it with good results. I did so, my weakness disappeared, I gained in strength, moved into our new home, do all kinds of garden work, and raised hundreds of chickens and ducks. I cannot say enough in praise of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound." Mrs. M. O. Johnston, Route D, Box 190, Richmond, Ind. Of course there are many serious cases that only a surgical operation will relieve. We freely acknowledge this, but the above letters, and many others like them, amply prove that many operations are recommended when medicine in many cases is all that is needed. If you want special advice write to Lydia K. Pinkham Medi cine Co. (confidential) Lynn, Mass. Your letter will be opened, read and answered by a woman and, held in strict confidence. niiiiiiQiiuikMiJiiiiii 11