A GOOD POSITION There U a flood position opportunity In creased pay when you are ready. Let us help you now. Check what you want to be and mail today. Catalog free. JTtNOORJPHEP. BOOKKEEPER miWrt SECRETARY nrat typiit OFFICE MflNAOER mtsiupuni COMMERCIAL TEACHER arm pinhuui SALESMAN GOUIIT REPORTER Name.. BUSINESS COLLEGE Portland, Ore I Portland I SjljSJjh, Oregon g Royal D-Lite Comfortable LADIES SHOES No tO r A No More ...111 All Styles All Sizes Royal Shoe Co. 148 Fourth St. Near Morrison A Good Violin li Hide So It Doe Not Grow So. There l only one way to Ret n good Violin Without (treat Bx ienp, which Is: Bend In your Old Had One and have it made into an Old (Jood One. Esti-maU-H given free. All work guaranteed. Send to THE COULTER CO.. 227 i Wukavloa St, .wil.nd. Oc. MOTORCYCLES and BICYCLES Bought, sold and repaired. Sup plies of all kinds. Out of town trade a specialty. Write us. R. H. BLOCKER 276 Taylor Street Portland, Oregon FARMS AND BUSINESS SOLD Do you want to sell your farm, homo or buslneM forcaah? Write to CARTER REALTY CO., 604 Buchanan Building, Portland, Oregon ELECTRIC MOTORS Bought, Sold, Rented and Repaired WALKKH ELECTRIC WORKS Burnn-idc, cor. lUth. Portland, Ore. V REDUCED FREIGHT RATES To and from all point ou noiuehold good, pianos, and autrnnril.ilt'H. Information cheerfully given. Pacific Coast Forwarding Co., KSS HIDES, PELTS, CASCARA BARK, WOOL AND MOHAIR. we want all you have. Write lor prices and shipping tags THE H. F. NORTON CO. Portland, Ore., Seattle, Wn Plums Ueber Alles. Have you any Idea of the space food occupies in the mind of the man at the front? Yesterday I was oroulng a bullet-swept orchard with another officer, when I noticed plums! Ter rified lest my partner should see them I suggested that we leave quick ly as tho place was too unhealthy. So we crawled away. That night In the light of a bin moon, my cook and 1 Htolo Into the orchard and gathered two sand bans full of plums. The bullets whistling through tho trees hurried the picking. Capt. Louis Kerne in Cartoons Magazine. Lost In London. Patriotic Scots l.ady (patrolling Vic loria line station to assist any of her stranded oountrymen arriving from the front) Can 1 help you In any way ? Perplexed Boot Thank you, mam Is the toon far frae the station? I. nil. lull PuiM'h. Poor Picking. "What's the mailer?" asked the first flea. "You looked starved." "They are making these toy dogs so natural." explained the olher flea, "that I arranged to summer on one of them by mistake."---Louisville Courier Journal. Good, No Matter What. The Officer (after a complaint) This tea's all right. What's (he com plaint? Tommy - it ain't lea, sir; it's sloo! The Officer And very nice sloo! London Sketch, Optical Astonishments. "Seeing is believing," said the ready made philosopher. "Not always, when you are looking at the movies." Washington Slur. Falling in Line. "I am going to a preparedness meet lug, my dear, of our club." "All right. William. You had better leave me all (be loose change you have about you." -Baltimore American. HAWTHORNE AUTO SCHOOL The only Automobile School on the I'm rillr i 'oust maintaining a Tractor Dept.. lining Halt Caterpillar, C, ).. 1tc.it Trat ktayer and Wheel Tractori, Imlh in the Mhool anil operating Held, ii Hawthorne Ave. Portland, Ore. 01 Tin VeaI-pork- Brf SHIr Poultry, Butter, Egg KJM. M.MM hnd FBrn produte to Um Old Reliable Kverding hotlM with a record of it yearn of Siiuarv DealingM. ami U atinured of TOP MARKET PRICES. F. M. CRONKH1TE 45-47 Front Street Portland, Oregon Spray-a-Cow Keeps off flitl or money bftCk. $1 ft jgltliOD from your denier, or order by mail. PLUMMER DRUG CO. Third and Madison, Portland, Or, Portland Y.M.C. A. Auto School Pay and niglit 't. Kxpert (raining In repairing, driving and machine work, including forge, lath, ihaper, drill i i i tmtOTS, etc. Tune unlimited. COMPE TENT CHAl'FFKUKK AND MrX'HAN ICS SUPl'l.lKO. WHITE US. P. N. U. No. 36, 1016 a woman in a olombiaSjunjeS US. FRANK ANDERSON of New York, who has followed her explorer husband Into the densest of Jungles, has re cently returned from a most toilsome trip Into the interior of Colombia. Mr. Anderson is geologist for the Standard Oil company, and took four young as sistants with him, besides his wife. "I was the first white woman to pen etrate that part of the jungle," says Mrs. Anderson. "As our little steam er went up the Slnu the children ran out from the mud and bamboo houses calling, 'Mira! Mira! Americana!' I used to feel that I was on exhibition all tho time, and it was very hard to dress the part, for my clothes wilted and the very hairpins rusted In my hair. It was so hot and damp that we had to take off all the buttons and metal buckles for fear of rust spots, and our slioes fairly mildewed on our feet. "But by far tho most Interesting part of the trip was the voyage up the Slnu on the little 75-foot steamer. There was only one camorote or state room and only fifty feet of deck space for the sixty passengers to swing their hammocks. The captain gave me his stateroom, since 1 was the only wom an on board; but with tho others It was first come, llrst served. The ham mocks were swung one above the oth er like hunks. Some of the men slept on declt and some on the table where we ate! We had our own bedding, of course, and I got through the 110 miles In comparative comfort. "We found a beautiful house wait ing for us in Lorlca, built In tho old Spanish mission style round a wonder ful patio. Unlike most of the houses, It was two stories high. It belonged to the principal family of the province, who owned the electric light, butter and Ice plants. Life In Lorlca. "From my windows I could see the women washing In the river, carrying their bundles of clothes down to a con- tlful long hair. It is almost always prettily dressed in spite of the fact that they carry everything on their heads. I have seen a woman with two five-gallon oil tins filled with wa ter on her head, but she only walked a little Btralghter than usual. Going Into the Jungle. "I never Bhall forget the start on my own first trip Into the Jungle. 1 wore a divided skirt, in which the na tives were much interested. They were more dressed than usual them selves, and all the Indians we met re tired as soon as they saw me, and came back with skirts of bark and leaves. "We had the usual hammocks, bags of food, water barrels, mosquito nets and cook tent loaded on the burros, and had taken along a special camp tent for me in case we didn't find the usual empty house. "The first night we camped In a little open space, and the cook soon had a fire going, with bacon and yamas toasting over It. Every bit of drinking water has to be brought from a safe place and then boiled. But we didn't have to live on beanB and bacon. Even the woods Indians raise fowls and cattle. There 1b not wild game. You have to learn to eat fresh-killed meat; but you have to do that anywhere in that country. It is too hot to keep anything even over night. My khaki suit was soon streaked with dust and tho heat from the horses, but as there was no one to see It I did not mind. "We did have some shooting, for the second day out a fifteen-foot boa con strictor crossed our path. One of the men shot It at once and the natives skinned It. The colors in Its skin were wonderful. "They were nothing, however, to the colors of the flowers. The tall grass and the trees made It too dark In most places even to take pictures, but wherever there was a rift of sunlight the flowers burst forth. There were UP THE SINU WHEN wrillnir to adrertlseas, please SMB. I " tloa this neper. I venient stone and puddling them with boards, then spreading them on bushes to dry. Everything we needed In the household was brought to the door by natives. Live- chickens and tur keyB, yuccas, mangoes, tho yellow fruit that tastes rather like n sweet plum, cocoanuts and iluoas aro all poled down the river In canoes Then there Is cocoanul Hour bread rolled out Into thin sheets like Jewish mat.os. I liked to go down to tho wharf on market days, though the native ladles never do. Even the cloth for Ihelr dresses is brought to the house In bolts by the servants. Ah a matter of fact, they wear only & Jacket and skirt. It Is so very hot. less lliiin nine degrees from the equa tor. Children, oven of the better class, go entirely without clothing up to live and six. And there are so many of them! Fifteen Is not a particularly large family, and 1 met ono charming woman who bad twenty-two. Grand parents, father and mother, the mar ried sous and daughters and all the children live together In the same fam ilies with all their children In absolute harmony. They keep a great many servants, of course, Tor wages are very low, and treat them almost like mem bers of the family. "The lower classes are a mixture of Indian, Chinese and negro, but the aristocrats are almost pure Spanish. They are charmingly friendly much more so than the Mexican women and I became very fond of some of them. They never could understand why I wanted to go out Into the Jun gle, but they were too polite to say so! They were very pretty In their white Jackets thai looked almost like our middles and the dainty little shoes, of which they are so proud. Even the native women who go barefoot have small, slender feet and the most beau- FEEDS FAT ON CATERPILLARS "Small Stomach" Insect Walts Till the Worm Has Digested Food Consumed. (Hants or pigmies, virtually all liv ing beings have some enemy against whom they are continually lighting. Tiny Insects are preyed upon by In sects still tinier. Due wasplike insect, for example, Is tho sworn enemy of the caterpiller. Another member of Ihe wasp family does mankind a serv ice by making life miserable for the cabbage worm. Tho family name Is ralcrogaster, which literally means "small stomach." In spite of his small stomach, the Philadelphia North American says, ho has a big appetite, for proof of which ask tho caterpiller. In the grub stage they swarm over tho caterpillar like bees on a honeycomb. The grubs are SO tiny that as many as 1,000 have been found on a single caterpillar. Harrowing down In tho caterpillar's wool, they get their food from tho fluids circulating through the worm's system. Rather than huut for food tho wonderful pink accasla bushes ant a sort of bird of paradise flower with ono blue petal tho other yellow and red. The royal polnsetta grew tall as a maple with Its perfect blooms and long pods and there were beautiful scarlet and yellow orchids. We found some very rare specimens. While the men were looking for oil I looked for orchids. Sometimes 1 would have to be contented with an armful of scarlet hyblseus, but usually I found what I was looking for. Up the Rio de Oro. "Later we went up the Klo de Oro In the launch as far as the country of the savages east of Bogota. They have never been disturbed since the Spaniards drove them Into their moun tain fastnesses and they shoot at In truders on sight with poisoned arrowB. We saw some of them like dark pieces of bronze among the trees, but did not go too near. "Tho savages may havo been afraid of tho purling of tho launch, for they did not trouble us. "Tho woods Indians greeted us with tho greatest Interest, however. As soon as we made our camp they would manage something In the way of clothes and then appear with fruit and fowls to sell. They were wonder fully skillful and In a few hours they had out down and made a tree trunk canoe when we came out on the banks of Rio Sardlnata, It was hollowed out, chipped off and a canvas shelter arranged for mo almost before we had finished our arrangements to send back our horses. The Indians with their long poles took us down not only the Rio Sardlnata but the San Miguel. On tho Rio Buzlo, a tributary of the Catatimibo, we saw natives killing alligators along the banks. There Is no swlmmtng In these streams, for they aro full of nlllgators and sharks." themselves and digest It for them selves they let tho caterpillar find It, cat It and digest It, and then the uiicrognster grubs Bteal It. But tho caterpillar's wrongs are avenged by another Insect, called the chrysalis stinger. When the ralcrogas ter curia up in Its chrysalis for Its win ter sloop the stinger attacks the chrysalis and lays Its own eggs, de pending upon tho chrysalis to keep them alive until they are hatched. Forests Left In America. Before tho coming of the white man the forests of tho United States cov ered an area of S00.u00.000 acres, and contained about 6,200,000,000,000 board feet of lumber, according to Leonard Lundgren. writing In the Engineering Magazine. The forests today cover 650.000,000.000 acres and contain about 2,900.000,000,000 board feet of lumber. Tho anuual cut Is about 43, 000.000,000.000 board feet. Seventy-six per cent of the forest land Is privately owned, 21 per cent Is hold by the I'nlted States in the national fsrosts and 3 per cent la on other public land. Most Eminent Medical Authorities Endorse It. Dr. Eberle and Dr. Braithwaite aa well as Dr. Simon all distinguished authors agree that whatever may be the disease, the urine seldom fails in furnishing us with a clue to the princi ples upon which it is to be treated, and accurate knowledge concerning the nature of disease can thus be obtained. If backache, scalding urine or frequent urination bother or distress you, or if uric acid in the blood has caused rheu' matism, gout or sciatica or you suspect kidney or bladder trouble just write Dr. Pierce at the Surgical Institute, Buffalo, JN'.Y.j send a sample of urine and de. scribe symptoms. You will receive free medical advice after Dr.Pierce's chemist has examined the urine this will be carefully done without charge, and you will be under no obligation. Dr. Pierce during many years of experimentation has discovered a new remedy which he finds ie thirty-seven times more power ful than lithia in removing uric acid from the system. If you are suffering from backache or the pains of rheuma tism, go to your best druggist and ask for a 60 -cent box of "Anuric" put up by Dr. Pierce. Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription for weak women and Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery for the blood have been favorably known for the paBt forty years and more. They are standard remedies to-dav as well as Doctor Pierce's Pleasant Pellets for the liver and bowels. You can get a sample of any one of these remedies by writing Dr. Pierce, Doctor Pierce's Pellets are unequaled as a Liver Pill. One tiny, Suqar-coated Pellet a Dose. Cure Sick Headache, Bilious Headache, Dizziness, Constipa tion, Indigestion, Bilious Attacks, and all derangements of the Liver, Stomach and Bowels. BUTTERFAT GONE UP If you are looking for Prompt Returns, Good Prices and a Square Deal, make your nest shipment of Cream to HAZELWOOD CO., PORTLAND. "The Home of Ihe Satisfied Shipper" Learned Something. "What's the matter with Flubdub? He used to claim that our politicians were the most unscrupulous In the world." "He has been traveling abroad. I think it was a great blow to his civic pride when he found they were not." Louisville Courier-Journal. Vindicated Self-Esteem. "The Woggses seem to have a high opinion of themselves." "Yes. You see the same cook has consented to remain in their employ for three or four years. So they feel entitled to think that they are rather nice people." Washington Star. He Knew That. "What Is the chief mineral wealth of the Alleghanies?" "Dunno, mum." "Yes, you do. What do you carry in a scuttle?" "Suds, mum." Louisville Courier-Journal. Plain Enough. "How do you like America, count?" "Quite much, but your figures of speech are Bomewhat hard to under stand. Now, when it dawns upon you "You begin to see daylight!" ex plained the other man. Louisville Courier-Journal. Thread of Interest. "This cookbook ought to be popu lar." "Why so?" "There's a love story mixed In with the recipes." Louisville Courier-Journal. Foolish Man. "Can't say I like that new hat of yours." "Yet you liked It in the store." "Well, It did look pretty when the girl tried It on." Then the trouble started. Louis ville Courier-Journal. Forward at Home. School Teacher I'm sorry to say, Mr, Jones, that your boy Is very back ward In his studies. Jones That's strange! At home in conversation with me he seems to know it all. Boston Transcript. Sticks There. The man who drops his anchor In the Slough of Despond never gets any farther. Answers. HOW MRS, BEAN MET THE CRISIS Carried Safely Through Change of Life by Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. Nashville, Tenn. "When I was going through the Change of Life I had a tu mor as large as a child s head. The doctor said it was three years coming and gave me medi cine for it until I was called away from the city for some time. Of course I could not go to him then, so my sister-in-law told One that she thought lillililllllllllllllllllllllll n I j i Lydia F.. Pinkham s Vegetable Com pound would cure it. It helped both the Change of Life and the tumor and when I got home I did not nerd the doctor. I took the Pinkham remedies until the tumor was gone, the doctor said, and I have not felt it since. I tell every one how I was cured. If this letter will help others you are welcome to use it." Mrs. K. II. Bean, 625 Joseph Avenue, Nashville, Tenn. Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com pound, a pure remedy containing the extractive properties of good old fash ioned roots and herbs, meets the needs of woman s system at this critical period of her life. Try it If there Is any symptom In your ease which puzzles you, write to the Lydla . Pinkham Medicine Co, Lynn, Mass. FAIRY TALE M L MM GRAHAM BONNER GNOME HAS PIG SCHOOL. "A little Gnome named 'Snips' thought he would like to start a School. The PupilB he wanted were the Pigs. "So one fine day he went to all the Pigpens in the neighborhood and talked to the Mother and Daddy Pigs. " 'Now you know,' he said, 'you sure ly want your Children to know some thing besides how to dig in the mud.' "'Well,' said Mrs. Fatty Pig (she was named that because she was the fattest Pig in the country around), 'I don't know that I care whether my Children know anything or not. If they don't know anything, they don't know they're missing things and then they never have to worry or hur ry or scurry.' "You see Mrs. Fatty Pig was so fat, all she wanted to do was to He around and eat and sleep. "So Snips asked Mrs. Fatty's Pig's Husband what he thought about it, and all Mr. Fatty Pig did was to grunt at everything Snips said. "But when he began to talk to a few of the younger Pigs they quite liked the Idea of going to School each day, and as the Mothers and Daddies didn't mind at all one way or the other, the very next morning all the young Pigs arrived at Snips' School. "The Schoolhouse was an old Tree which had fallen down and which was They All Sat Along the Sides of the Tree. hollow., They all sat along the Bides of tho Tree with their slates of smooth stones and their pencils of cut stones, which made white marks. " 'Now,' said Snips, T have always liked Pigs and I want to do all I can for you. You muBt surely come every morning to School, though, for every lesson will be most Important, and I don't want to bear of any little Pig Staying away unless he Is too sick to walk. "'In the first place we are going to learn what words mean and how to spell them. Now take your own fam ily name, for example. Pig well that name Is thought to mean by some People anyone who Is greedy and grabs everything ho" can. Such a bad Idea to get of your Family. I know It's quite untrue, so we must make other People believe it's untrue too. " 'You see so many of your Family aro lazy. We don't want to think what our Mothers and Daddies do is wrong no, that wouldn't do. But your Mothers and Daddies were brought up wrong by People. Thoy were put Into dirty pens, and they thought It was quite right to bo dirty. " 'So the next thing we must learn Is to be nlco and clean. Write down on your slates: "Pigs must not be greedy," and "We must be clean and wash our faces and our feet every day before School, and after play and before meals.' "And when tho Fairies heard that Snips was holding School each day for the Pigs they were delighted. Snips said that thoy would give an entertainment each month for the Fairies to see how the Pigs got along In school. And now a fine set of Pigs are working hard for their next month ly entertainment." DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO Three-Year-Old Minnie Was Much Re lieved When Mother Couldn't Think of Suitable Punishment. Little three-year-old Minnie could re peat nursery rhymes and talk like an old woman. Ono day, having done something strictly against orders, her mother said: "Minnie. I really don't know what I had better do to you." Drawing a long breath of relief the lit tle niisa said, "I'm awful glad you don't, mamma," and marched off, tak ing it for granted that the matter was settled. FIRST EXPERIENCES IN TOWN Little Girl Discovers That "Next Door Is Fastened to Our House" Boy Don't Like the Sidewalks. A little girl whose parents had re cently moved from country to town, and who Is now enjoying her first ex perience in living in a street, Bald: "This is a very queer place. Next door Is fastened to our house." Her younger brother added his Im pression by declaring: "I like to live whero the sidewalks have edges." Brooklyn Eagle. Satisfied as He Was. "Papa." said small Tommy, "our Sun day school teacher read that we must all be born again." "Well?" queried his father. "But 1 don't want to be born again," said the little fellow. "Why not?" asked his father. "Be cause." answered Tommy, "I'm afraid I might be born a girl " Cause of Sourness. Mamma- Nina. dear, you must not drink that milk. It's sour. Nina (aged four) Why, mamma, has the old cow been eating picklesT "Leader" and "Repeater" Shot Shells For the high flyers, or the low flyers, "Leader" and "Repeater'' shells have the reach, spread and penetra tion. Their great sale is due to these qualities, which insure a full bag. Made in many gauges and loads. BE SURE TO ASK FOR THE W BRAND LINK'S BUSINESS COLLEGE FALL TERM OPENS TUESDAY, SEPT. 5TH. New Classes Will Be Started Then. Many Students Already Enrolled. Ask For Catalogue. Enroll Now. A. T. LINK, Principal. Phone Main 6083 - - - Tilford Building Tenth and Morrison Sts., Portland, Ore. Comforter. Dr. Bates Bingham of Boston, on his return home from doing ambulance work in France, was asked by a re porter his opinion of a German note. "There is no more real satisfaction," the distinguished physician replied, "or comfort in it than there was in the blacksnake's ruse. "A Pike county mother once left her little one seated outside the shack and pulling on a full milk bottle when a blacksnake came gliding up. "The snake nestled close to the child, drew the rubber nipple from its mouth and proceeded to drink the milk; but at the same time the snake did not forget to slip the end of its tail gently between the infant's Hps by way of a comforter." Rub It In Thoroughly. A sprain or strain Bhould have im mediate attention to check the swell ing. Rub on, and rub in thoroughly Hanford's Balsam of Myrrh and you should have quick relief. Always have a bottle on hand for accidents. Adv. He Asked For It. More stories are told about Sir Her bert Tree than about almost any other public man in England. Here is a good one, exemplifying the ready an swer for which he is so justly famed. One day when he was coming out of the Garrlck club a man, whom he did not know from Adam, approached, and, with a sweeping bow, said in a Yankee twang: "Ex-cuse me, sir, but they tell me some pretty well-known folk belong to this club. Are you anyone of import ance ?" Sir Herbert Tree looked the ques tioner coldly up and down. "I don't really think I can be, or I wouldn't be seen talking to you," he said icily. Pearson's Weekiy. Wistful. The archbishop had preached a fine sermon on married life and its beauties. Two old Irishwomen were heard coming out of church comment ing on the address: "Tis a fine sermon his riverence would be after giving us," said one to the other. "It is, indade," was the quick reply, "and I wish I knew as little about the matter as he does." London Satur day Journal. Wisdom. During a lesson on elementary com position a little girl read the following as her effort: "Once a Penny and a Shilling met in a man's pocket. The Shilling tam ed up its nose at the Penny, and said, scornfully: " 'Why, I am worth a dozen of you.' " 'Yes,' said the Penny, 'but even at that I am a good bit better than you are. I go every Sunday to church, and you never do.' " London Tit-Bits. Use Hanford's Balsam when all else fails. Adv. She Understood. Aviator (home from the war on leave) And then when you are up pretty high three or four miles, say and you look down, it's positively sickening. It is stupendous, awful. A great height is a fearful thing, I can tell you. Lady (feelingly) Yes, I can sym pathize with you, poor boy. 1 feel just that way myself when I'm on top of a stepladder. Tiger. ma Granulated Eyelids, JJ50l 3 ,,;'"'s '""lllK'1' by exK T aureto Sun, Dtistand Wind fT. , ri y . quickly relieved by Murine ILL V 6S EyeBsmedy. NoSmarting, m"4f just Eye Comfort. At Your DruggiatV, 50c per Bottle. Murine E)3 SalveinTubes25c. ForBookoliheEycfreeask Druggists or Murine Eye Remedy Co., Cnicauo WILL YOU BUY NEW TIKES NOW or make your old ones lust through the winter. Write us about this. OREGON VULCANIZING CO.. 650 Washington St.. Portland. Ora. Power of Petrol. Thump, thump, went the motor car as it stood outside a railway station. A crowd of rustics stood round, gaping at the chauffeur and passing remarks that made him smile. "Say, mister," said one, at last, "what power drives the car along at such a speed?" "Petrol, my man," he replied, with a condescending smile. '"Ear that, Tom?" said the inquirer to his friend, who had just appeared on the scene. "Petrol shoves 'er along." "Ah!" was the reply, "that ain't nothin' noo. Petrol shoved our Mary Ann through the back door an' sent 'er flying slap bang agin the barn. 'Er 'ad bin tryin' to light the fire with it." London Tit-Bits. Ask your dealer for the free book let, "Useful Hints for Horse OwnerB," issued by G. C. Hanford Mfg. Co., Syra cuse, N. Y manufacturers of Han ford's Balsam of Myrrh. Adv. Aeroplanes to Aid Explorers. Aeroplanes are to be Included in the equipment of an exploring expedi tion that is setting out from Buenos Aires to study a little-known region which includes Mar Chiquita, a lake having an area of some 1,000 square miles, located about 350 miles nort': west of Buenos Aires. It is the belief of the explorers that with aeroplanes it will be possible to secure panoramic photographs which will prove invalua ble In showing the topography and geography of the country. From the September Popular Mechanics Magazine. No Alibi. "The war is doing me a good turn, anyhow." "In what way?" "I don't have to think up excuses for not taking my family to Europe this summer." Detroit Free Press. The Fan's Favorite. She What is your favorite stone? He The baseball diamond.-Bdstun' Transcript. Same Line. "When I was a boy;" said the gray-haired- physician, who happened to be in a reminiscent mood, "I wanted to be a soldier; but my parents persuad ed me to study medicine." "Oh, well," rejoined the sympathetic druggist, "such is life. Many a man with wholesale aspirations has to con tent himself with a retail business." London Tit-Bits. To keep clean an healthy take Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets. They regu late liver, bowels and stomach. Now's Their Chance. "And so you are convinced, my friend," asked the curate, "that there is a place of eternal punishment?" "I am." replied the uncharitable parishioner. "There's nothing in this world bad enough for some people." Browning's Magaiine. IF YOU HAVE RHEUMATISM you should try Anti-Uric, the famom remedy made from Roots and Berries. It is guaranteed to cure this cruel dis ease in every stage. We want every rea ler of this paper who is suffering from Rheumatism in any form to try this discovery. Every package guaranteed or money refund ed. Price $1.50 prepaid, or we will send by Parcel Post C. O. D. Circu lars and convincing testimony free. Address ANTI-URIC CO., 102 Sher wood Building, San Francisco. BUSINESS AND STENOGRAPHIC SCHOOL Our graduates are occupying enviable posi tions. The teaching process is diiTerentfrom ordinary business schools. Thorough, Practi cal. Individual. SCHOOL FOR MEN ONLY. Address The Registrar, Y. M. C. A., Portland, Oregon, and get detailed information. Oregon Hernia Institute Rupture treated mechanically. Private fitting rooms. Highest testimonials. Re sults guaranteed. Call or write. JOHNSON UMBARGER 411-412 Ah.ky Building. Portland. Oregon For calks use Hanford's Balsam. Adv. Innuendo. "Wombat says he tries to put as good a face on things as possible." "He's the man to paint your por trait, old top." Kansas City Journal. Easy and Sure. "What would you do if you had 1, 000,000?" "Oh. I don't know. Just sit down and watch my wife spend it, I sup pose." London Answers. The Mathews Welding & Cutting Co., 391 Everett St.. Near Ninth. Portland, Ora, Portable Qeclric and Oiy-Acetyiene Plant. Ready at all Times. Oiy-Acetylene Welding and Cutting. Welding by Thermit. Electricity, Oxy-Acetylene. Welding of Shoot Steel, Cast Iron, Aluminum B.U., Etc. Boiler and Marine Work - Specialty. ALSO AGENTS: The Henderaon-Willia Welding and Cutting Co.. St. Louis. U. S. A. Federal Braas Works, 91st St. & Kedzie Ave., Chicago s