ELECTRIC MOTORS Bought, Sold, Rented and Repaired WALKER ELECTRIC WORKS Bunuide, cor. 10th. Portland, Ore. REDUCED FREIGHT RATES To and from all points on household goods, piano and automobile. Information cheerfully riven. Pacific finasi Fnmardlnirfio..an wii bid ----- . ....... ...0 roruana. ure. Oregon Vuicanizim Company moved to 883 to 837 Burneide St. Port land. Ore. Largest Tire Repair Plant in the Northwest. Country aervioe a specialty, use rare! X oat. niim Veal, Pork, Beef, .irilr Poultry, Butter, Eggs -' and Farm Produce to the Old Reliable Everdlnr houie with a wcord of 45 yean of Square Dealing, and be assured of TOP MARKET PRICES. F. ML CRONKHITE 4W7 Front' Stmt Portland. Oreroa PORTLAND Y. M. C. A. Automobile School Often practical shop training In Construction and Operation of Automobile Special detailed In formation furnished Immediately on request. En tor any time. Address The Reeiitrsr, Y. M. C.A. Portland. Orecon Up To Date. Sister Susy's showing shoes of sllck ness, Such skill In showing shoes our Sis ter Susy showBi She shakes the slippers and the slop py sneakers; So short the skirts that Susy also shows. She skimps on skirts and scatters cash on fo6twear; She saves her buttons; slyly sews them on; She shyly sees the bootblack on the corner, ' And then she wonders where her dimes have gone, Shoemakers owe a lot to Sister Susy; And other girls of fashions that amuse; Sometimes I wish that like the auto dealers, They'd make a sppclalty of skldless shoes! Brooklyn Eagle. Irrigation Systems Pipe, Flume, Pumps, Gates, Weirs, Tanks, Troughs, Silos. We spe cialize on Irrigation and Drainage Work- A. L. GAGE & SON 303 Spalding Bldg. Portland, Ore. A Dog's Life. "He leads a regular dog's life," sighed portly Mrs. Wright .as she fondled her pet Pomeraulan's silver collar. "What of It," snapped her friend, who hated dogs. "Some dogs get bet ter treatment from women than their husbands do." New York World. A Hint to Chase Himself. Sapplelgh Am I walking too fast for you, Miss Ethel? Miss Bright Oh, no; you may run If you like. Boston Transcript. Heard In an Office. "Blank complains of feeling sick." "Yes; he smoked a cigar from the wrong pocket." Boston Transcript. But There's a Reason. "I don't know why the men grumble. This soup 1b really excellent." "They won't grumble, sir, it the Cook would admit It to be soup. He Insists that It Is coffee." Bystander. CLASH NOT FEARED OVER FRENCH ACT Seizure of Chinese Territory Does Not Alarm Washington. WIDOW'S PENSION i 1 ,' CIVIL WAR New law gives title when married prior to June 27, 1W5. Remarried widows again a widow also benefited. Write for blanks. Ask about Confederate service. Byinston A WiU son, YVeihington, D. C. Established 18H8. A Delicate Instrument. Two men were In the dining car or dering breakfast. The first one said to the waiter: "George, you may bring me two fried eggs, some broiled Virginia ham, a pot of coffee and some rolls." "Yassa." The other said; vYou may bring me the same." "Yassa." The socond man then called after the waiter and remarked: "Just eliminate the eggs." "YasBa." In a moment tho waiter came back. " 'Scuse mo, boB8, but Just what did .you-all say erbout dom egKs?" "I said just eliminate tho eggs." "Yessa." And he hurried again to the tiny kitchen. In another moment he came back once more, leaned confidently and penitently over the table, and Bald: "We had a bad accident Jest afo' we leave the depot dls mornln', boss, an' de llminator done got busted off, right at de handle. Will you take 'em fried same as ills hyar gemmen?" Pitts burgh Dispatch. BUSINESS AND STENOGRAPHIC SCHOOL Our graduates am occupying enviable posi tions. The teaching process Is different from ordinary business schools. Thorough, Praott eel, Individual. SCHOOL FOR MKN ONLY. Address The Registrar, Y. M. C. A., Portland, Oregon, and get detailed IntormaUon. Exhausted. "SI Hubbard told me that he (got a heap of work out of you when you was workin' for him," said the farmer. "Well, I allow he did," said the hired man. "Yas. Fact Is, I guess he Jlat about got It all." Boston Transcript ' Many Like Him. Hewitt He's a pessimist, all right. Jewett I should say so, he could see the dark side to a blond! New York Times. Write about your wants in this line (a FINKE BROS., 183 Madison St. Portland, Ore. LOCALITY IS MOST ROMANTIC Tien-Tsin, With Practically no Trade, Develops Tremendously Under Influence of Foreigners. P, N. U. No. 44, 181a Washington, D. C. Seizure by French troops of an additional square mile of territory contiguous to the French concessions in Tien-tsin, in de fiance of the Chinese foreign office, just reported in cable dispatches from Pekin, brings to the front one of the most complicated and most romantic points of conflict between ,old China and the Western world. Officials here indicated Monday that as an International affair little Import ance was attached to France's action. Tien-stin, back in the days when foreign ambassadors sought admission to China in vain, merely was a small, dirty town, with practically no trade. In I860, after the British and French had forced their way over the Taku forts and humbled the Manchus at Pekin, the right of residence was granted to the subjects of the two countries. The United States, an interested on looker, won the same right soon after ward, and Germany entered into the arrangement in 1861. Separate sec tions for the four nationalities were set aside and small local centers of residence and trade grew up. In a few years, however, the American government abandoned its settlement, first, because it had no use for It, and no money to pay for it, and, second, because, under the conditions it had become known as the "middle king dom" between the German and . British concessions, where all sorts of lawless ness prevailed. Tien-tsin grew fast, and construction of the railroad in 1897 made Tien-tsin the premier city of that whole vast section. In 1900 came the boxer re bellion, when Tientsin became the base for the march of the nation on the capital. In 1894 Japan secured a settlement In the city, and after 1900, Russia, Belgium, Italy and Austria obtained concessions on the left bank of the riv er, making nine foreign nations hold ing and administering small slices of territory. German Airman Shot Down in Sunday Raid on British Coast London A hostile aeroplane ap peared Sunday over the fortified sea port of Sheerness, at the mouth of the Thames. Four bombs were dropped. No casualties have been reported offi cially. An official communication issued here says : "A hostile seaplane was shot down and destroyed Sunday afternoon by one of our naval aircraft. The machine fell into the sea. Judging by the time, it probably was the seaplane which visited Sheerness Sunday." The following official accouut of the attack was given out : "A hostile aeroplane approached Sheerness at about 1 :45 p. m. Sunday, flying very high. Four bombs were dropped, three of which fell into the harbor. The fourth fell in the vicin ity of a railway station and damaged several railway carriages. "British aeroplanes went up and the raider made off in a northeasterly di rection. No casualties have been re ported." . Armed Steamer Delayed. Philadelphia The departure of the British steamship Missouri from this port to Baltimore was delayed Monday owing to the fact that the vessel, be ing engaged in a coastwise trip, car ried a gun on her after deck. Clear ance papers which were held up on orders from the Treasury department at Washington, were later granted when formal assurances that the vessel was armed for defense- purposes only were made to the State department. The Missouri arrived at this port from London, carrying merchandise. Unfair Election Charged. Managua, Nicaragua Reprenenta- tlves of the Liberal party have sent a protest to President Wilson against the recent elections, In which General Emiliano Chamorro was elected presi dent of the republic, accusing Presi dent Adolfo Diai of not complying with his promise to permit an abso lutely fair ballot. The protest says also that the American minister, Ben jamin L. Jefferson, imposed on the Liberals conditions which amounted to the exclusion of the party from the participation in the government. Sheriff Sent to Jail. Columbus, O. Sheriff Alonio T. Swepston, of Rosb county, vice presi dent of the American Sheriffs' associa tion and president of the Ohio Sheriffs' association, was sentenced to 40 days in the Delaware county jail by United States Judge John E. Sater here for permitting federal prisoners in his custody to take long automobile rides and have other liberties. He was re leased on $500 bond pending a hearing of the case on error. . World Crop Falls Short. Rome, via Paris The total wheat harvest of the world is estimated by the International Agricultural Insti tute as 7 per cent below the average and Z5 per cent below that of last year. The institute's report includes, for the first time, the crop of Euro pean Russia, which it estimates to be 20 per cent less than that of last year. BIDS ARE CALLED fOR ON 2500 CARS BV UNWNfACIFIC RAILROAD Portland The Union Pacific system Tuesday called for bids on 1000 auto mobile cars and 1500 box cars, requir ing nearly 15,000,000 feet of lumber. The specifications require that all the lumber "be purchased from mills in Union Pacific territory Oregon, Washington and Idaho. It is probable that Twohy Brothers, of Portland, will bid on this contract as they are equipped to build cars in their East Side plant and have been eager to enter this field of activity for several months. : Judge R. S. Lovett, chairman of the Union Pacific, will be in Portland this week and is expected to give some at tention to the prospects of successful car building here. When questioned about it at his office in New York a few weeks ago Judge Lovett declared that, other things being equal, he would prefer to have the cars built on the Coast. The advantages of building cars convenient to the place where the lum ber . is produced are obvious. -' The Eastern builders must pay freight on the raw lumber that goes into the cars even when it is carried by the railroad that buys them. Trap Set by Villa; Vanguard of Pursuing Carranza Force Ambushed El Paso, Tex. Francisco Villa led the Carranza vanguard under General Carlos Ozuna into an ambush between Santa Ysabel and San Andres, on the western division of the Mexican North western railway Friday, a report re ceived by Mexican government agents here said. According to this report, which was obtained by secret service agents for the Federal government, Villa retreat ed from a position outside of San Andres, 40 miles on the railroad west of Chihuahua City toward San Andres. This led the Carranza vanguard into the trap which Villa is said to have set for them, the government report said. The bandits, who were hidden in the rocky defiles along the railroad, poured a heavy fire into the Carranza troops from behind rocks. The same source of information claims to have confirmation of the report that the Carranza troops then retired to Santa Ysabel, thence to Palomas, and are in Fresno, the first station west of Chi huahua City. Carranza officials here admit that there has been heavy fighting between Santa Ysabel and Chihuahua City, but General Gonzales, in Juarez, insists that he has received no details of the fighting. The report that General Ozuna had been killed is receiving credence here In official circles. Baseball Training Wins War Honors. Boston "Bill" O'Hara, once a star left fielder of the Toronto International league team and a former scout for the New York National league club, has been recommended for the military crosB in recognition of his bravery and skill in hurling bombs for the British army on the Somme battle front, ac cording to advices received here from his home in Toronto. When O'Hara played in the Inter national league he was noted for his accurate i throwing and strength. O'Hara, a lieutenant in a Canadian regiment at the front, is now hurling deadly bombs instead of baseballs. Fruit Diet Test Ends. Berkeley, Cal. An exclusive diet of alligator pears for two weeks ended Tuesday night for Alwyn Baker, a University of California student, eat ing under the direction of the depart ment of nutrition. Baker has lost no weight, but said he was very hungry- The official findings on his experi ment will be announced next week at San Diego at a meeting of the Avoca do assoication, composed of growers in Oregon, the Sacramento valley and Southern California. Flour Cheat Is Charged. Chicago Charges that the milling interests have made an excess profit of $60,000,000 by using rejected wheal and wheat below milling grades, while charging consumers for flour, based on the best grades of wheat, were made Tuesday by Miss Florence King, of the Women s association of commerce, in a complaint filed with United States District Attorney Clyne. Miss King will seek to have federal inspection of grain, provided in a re cent act of congress, apply to this year's wheat crop. Coffee Thefts Extensive. San Salvador, Republic of Salvador Two arrests have been made in con nection with the theft of coffee ship ped . from San Salvador, disclosed through complaints made by American merchants that 10 pounds of coffee were missing from each of many bags consigned to them. The value of the coffee stolen ap proximates 300,000 pesos. The inves tigation, which began a month ago, has not yet concluded. Zeppelin Stirs Dutch Ire. Amsterdam Dutch newspapers are indignant over the report by the Han- delsblad that on Sunday a Zeppelin dropped a bomb near Gorkum (Gorini- chem), ZZ miles southeast of Rotter dam. The Nieuws Van den Dag says: "If German airship commanders had not displayed supreme contempt for the protests of the Dutch government this deplorable incident, which only by accident lacked serious results, would not have occurred." 225 New U-Boatt Built. Geneva, Switzerland Prince von Buelow, former German imperial chan cellor, recently informed a neutral newspaper that since the beginning of the war Germany had constructed 225 submarines, says a dispatch from Constance. The German naval authorities, the Prince la reported to have added, are paying more attention to submarines than to battleships, and Austria- Hungary is doing likewise. TAKE GOOD CARE of the Stomach IT WILL PAY YOU When weakness develops REMEMBER Stomach Bitters SJRENGTHENS--INVIGORATES The genuine has Private Stamp over the neck of Bottle. Insist on having it Spurned His Money. A Judge, who used to wear very long, waving hair and a heavy beard one day was on his way to court when ho was accosted by a little street boot black, with an exceedinsly dirty face with tho customary "Shine, sir?" He was very importunate, and the judge being impressed with the terrible statt of tho boy's face, said: . "I don't want a shine, but If you'I! go and wash your face I'll give you six-pence." "All right, sir." "Well, let me see you do it." The boy went to a neighboring foun tain and made his ablutions. Returning, he held out his hand" for the sixpence. The Judge said: "Well, you earned your money. Here it is.' But the boy said: "I don't want your money, old fol low. You can take It and have a hair cut," and forthwith scampered off. Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph. Had Terrible Pains in Kidneys and Back. Bear Mr. Editor 1 want to write yon about "Anurio." . I was very sick, could hardly be up ; I was in bed most of the time. Had terrible pains in my kidneys and back, so much eo that I bad to scream sometimes when I was sitting down and wanted to get op, the pain was so great. I had tried a well-known kidney medicine but it didn't help me. I heard of Ir. Pierce's Anuria Tableta so I thought I would try tbem. I took only one box of the Tableta, and my back is now free from pain and I can work end take care of my family. I feel I cannot my enough for this medi cine. Sincerely, Mk3. Wm. Kelleb. NoTB! This "Anuric" is adapted especially for kidney complaints and diseases arising from disorders of the kidneys and bladder, such as backache, weak back, rheumatism, dropsy, con gestion of the kidneys, inflammation of the bladder, scalding urine and urinary troubles. The physicians and specialists at Dr. Pierce's great Institu tion, at Buffalo, Y., have thoroughly tested this prescription and have been with one accord successful in eradicat ing these troubles, and in most cases absolutely curing the diseased kidneys. Patients having once used "Amine" at Dr. Pierce's Invalids' Hotel, have re- Seatedly sent back for more. Such a emana has been created that Dr. Pierce has decided to put " Anuric" in the drug stores of this country, in a rcady-to-usa form. If not obtainable send one dime by mall to Dr. Fierce for trial package or 60 cents for full treatueut. Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery Is a blood cleanser and alterative that starts the liver and Btomach into vigorous action. It thus aasiei.3 the body to mako rich, red blood, which feeds the heart, nerves, brain and organs cf the body. You feel clean, strong and strenuous. A Wish. "I wish success were a woman." "Why?" "Then everybody would know Its se cret." Detroit Free Press. A Home Strike. . Biggs People are striking every where. Dlggs Gosh, yes.! My wife has just struck me for a new fall outfit. Boston Transcript. Just The Thing. "You'll like this refrigerator, sir." "Why so?" "It has a secret drawer for a pint bottle." Louisville Courier-Journal. WIFE TOO ILL TO WORK IN BED MOST OF TIME Her Health Restored by Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable . Compound. Indianapolis, Indiana, " My health was so poor and my constitution so run down that 1 could not work. I waa thin, pale and weak, weighed but 109 and was in lllllWSHI NORTHWEST MARKET REPORTS; GENERAL CROP CONDITIONS Wheat BluestemL $1.41; fortyfold, $1.35; club, $1.32; red fife, $1.34, red Russian, 1.29; Oats No. 1 white feed, $29.75. Barley No. 1 feed, $35.00. Flour Patents, $7.20; straights, $6.4006.80; exports, $6.40; valley, $6.60; whole wheat, $7.20; graham, $7. Hlllfeed Spot prices: Bran, $22 per ton; shorts, $24 per ton; rolled barley, $3536. . Corn Whole, $42.60 per ton; crack ed, $43.60 per ton. Hay Produce' prices: Timothy, eastern Oregon, 16.6018 per ton; timothy, valley, $16016 per ton; alfal fa, $14.50016.50; wheat hay, $13.50 14.50; oat and vetch, $13013.50; cheat, $12; clover, $10. . Butter Cubes, extras, 86o bid. Jobbing prices: Prints, extras, 37 39cT butterfat, No. 1, 87c; No. 2, 36c, Portland. : r Eggs Oregon ranch, current re ceipts, 38Vs39c per dozen; Oregon ranch, candled, 4042c. Poultry Hens, 1414c; springs, 16016c per pound; turkeys, live, 24 25c; ducks, 1217c; geese, 10llo. Veal Fancy, 10llc per pound. Pork Fancy, 1212o per pound. Vegetables Artichokes, 76c $1 per dozen, tomatoes, 60 66c per crate cabbage, $1.25 01.60 per hundred; pep pers, 6C per pound; eggplant, 60 8o per pound; lettuce, $2.35; cucu mbers, 60 075o per box; celery, 60 75o per dozen; corn, 10020c per doz en; pumpkins, lo per pound; squash lo per pound. - Potatoes Oregon buying price, $1 1.15 per hundred, country points; sweets. $202.25 per hundred. Onions Oregon buying price, $1.90 per sack, country points. Green fruits Apples, new, 75c $2 per box; peaches, 60080c per box; pears, 76c0$1.6O; grapes, 75c$1.60; casabas, lc; cranberries, $9.60010 per barrel. Hope 1916 crop, ll12o per pound. Hides Salted hides, 18c; salted stags, 14c; green and salted kip, 18c; green and salted calf skins, 25c; green hides, 16c; green stags, 12c; dry hides, 30c; dry calf skins, 32c; dry salt hides, 25c; dry horse hides, 76c to $1.50. . Pelts Dry long-wooled pelts, 21c; dry shoitwooled pelts, 17c; dry shear lings, 10 025c each; salted long-wool pelts, 75c$1.25; Baited short-wooled pelts, 50c$l. Tallow No. 1, 8c; No. 2, 7o; grease, 5c. Wool Eastern Oregon, fine, 23 26c; coarse, 3032e; valley, 30 032c. Mohair 40c per pound. Cascara Bark Old and new, 6o per pound. Cattle Steers, prime, $6.35 06.75; good, $6.0006.25; common to fair, $4.6005.75; cows, choice, $5.00 06.75; medium to good, $4.00 4.50 r ordinary to fair, $4.0004.50; heifers, $4.00 5.75; bulls, $3.0004.25; calves, $3,000 6.00. Hogs Prime, $9.2509.60; good to prime mixed, $9.0009.26; rough heavy $8.4008.60; pigs and skips $8.0008.25. Sheep-rLambs, $5.6008.75; year lings, wethers, $6.7507.60; old weth ers, $6.6007.25; ewes, $3.6006.50. Wheat Sets New High Record. The 7-cent bulge in the Chicago wheat market thia week met with a quick response in the northwest High er bids were at once sent Into the country and the scramble to buy be gan. Details were lacking as to the amount of business done, but it was believed that well over 1,000,000 bush els changed hands. The advance put bluestem 8 to 4 cents above the high point reached just before the submarine raid and raised the cheaper grades of wheat to the level that prevailed then. Blue stem sold locally at $1.42 and there was considerable buying in the Inter ior on the basis of $1.43 Coast, with reports of as high as. $1.45 also paid. At the Merchants' Exchange five thousand bushels of November blue stem were sold at $1.42. Fortyfold and club bids were raised 2 to 8 cents, fife 3 cents and red Russian 8 to 4 cents. The Chicago advance was ascribed to short covering, following recent heavy sales to foreigners. More dis astrous 'reports from Argentina and increased demand from the British and French governments for North Amer ican wheat accompanied the rise. - It was said that of the Canadian crop, 25 to 30 per cent has been found to be unfit for milling. The local oats market also gained in strength. Bids for all deliveries were advanced 75 cents at the ex change. Brewing barley was unchang ed in the country, but teed barley was auoted $1 higher here. Local millers announced a 20-cent advance in patent and valley flours, Domestic and export straights were not changed. The new flour quotation of $7.20 equals the highest point ever recorded here, which was In February, 1916. Bradstreet's estimates the world'B visible wheat increase at 11,500,000 bushels. The Canadian visible wheat supply Is 16,317,000 bushels, the oats supply 1,450,000 bushels. Highest Egg Price of 8eaon. Portland. Eggs sold at the Produce Exchange this week at 89 cents for current receipts, the highest price of the season. On the street sales were reported at 38 cents. Receipts were small and the demand by no means active. Aprils were offered at 33 cents with 31 cents bid. The butter market was firm. Extras in the open market brought 36 cents. At the exchange 35 ft cents waa bid and 36H cents was asked. DreBsed meats were in large supply and veal was weak with 11 cents the top and 10 cents a clean up price. Pork steady at 12 12 Hop Market la Again Strong. Hop buying has again become active tie Pacific Coast markets. Prices, ;h showed tendency to sag re ly, have recovered, and the mar is again strong. A number of Ore- lots have changed bands In the two days at 11 to 12 cents. In Yakima section there were bids at 13 to 13 cents, and it was re ed that one lot was sold at 14 a. There was also fairly large ng In western Washington at 11 1 cents. . . imas were sold at prices ranging . 12 to 13 cents. Lydia li PiukJuin aleaicine co-, ion, lias. irtland. Fresh receipts at the yards were limited, but a consid- le quantity waa carried over from week, and this furnished material n active market The bulk of the sales were at $9.25, aa waa the the first of the week. Most of hogs available this week have . of only average quality and buy ers have acted accordingly. Cattle sale indicated a steady market W. L. DOUGLAS "THE SHOE THAT HOLDS ITS SHAPE" $3.00 $3.50 $4.00 $4-50 & $5.00 AND WOMEN Save Money by Wearing W. L Douglas! shoes. For sale by over 9QOO shoe dealers. The Best Known Shoes in the World. W. L. Douglas name and the mail price is stamped on Che bot tom of all shoes at the factory. The value is guaranteed and the wearer protected against high prices for inferior shoes.' The retail prices are the same everywhere. . They cost no more m San Francisco than they do in New York. They are always worth the price paid for them. . TTie quality of W. L. Douglas product is guaranteed by more i- than 40 yean experience in making fine shoes. The smart styles an the leaders in the Fashion Centres of America. They are made in a well-equipped factory at Brockton, Mass., by tite highest paid, skilled shoemakers, under the direction and sunervision of eioerienced men. all workina with an honest determination to make the best shoes for the price that muney can buy. 1 ' ". - ' : ' . Ask jronr shoe dealer for W. t Douglas shoes. It he can not supply yon with' the kind yon want, take no other make. Write for Interesting booklet explaining- how to get shoes of the highest standard of quality for the price, DJ return mail, postage sree. LOOK FOR W. L. Douglas name and the retail price stamped on the bottom. Erf tf VSI1,vrral f Ft 3 yTDouglas Bhoe Cn.j Brockton, Mil... Boys' Shoes Best In mo World $3.00 $2.50 & $2.00 It Swings Clear of the Mire. The supreme court is a great con servative force and the judicial er mine seems to be about the only thing of the kind that isn't from 12 to 15 Inches shorter In the skirt than ' It used to be. Ohio State Journal. Starvation Diet. First Moth Why so thin and emaci ated this spring, brother 7 Second Ditto I was shut up all win ter with a young lady's bathing suit. Not another bite to eat in the closet! Punch Bowl. , . : , : . That's So. "A disgruntled telephone subscriber would never make a good fisherman." "Why not?" , "Because he would complain in stinctively if he found his line was busy." Baltimore American. ; ' - Lets Georgiana Do It Mrs. Exe I make it a rule never to ask another to do what I would not do myself. Mrs. Wye But you would not go to the door yourself and tell a caller you were not at home. Boston Transcript. TREES SHIPPED ANYWHERE-FREIGHT PAID Small orders as well aa bier. Fourteenth Year. Ornamentals, Fruit Trees, Etc. all ffuaraoteed. Fifteen Thousand Orders Last Year. :t , S.W Ererrwhere; More Wan!L WASHINGTON NURSERY CO., Toppeniili, Wisli Progressive iFarmer, " Listen to this argument: If you want all the money you can possibly get for your Cream, Eggs, Dressed Meats . and Poultry, Bhip where they pay according to gratia. We started this plan and find that , the producer likes this method. Let us have your next ship ment and Bee for yourself. HAZELWOOD CO. PORTLAND, OR. Crude Musical Sense. "That boy of yours Is constantly whistling." "Yes. He carries a tune much bet ter than his sister, who is learning to play the piano, and doesn't cost me a cent for lessons." Washington Star. . Ask anybody about it Hanford's Balsam. Adv. - . , . To Be Expected. "What did you get for your birth day, little girl?" "I got candy." ' ! "What else did you got?" "I got sick." Baltimore American. ; For any sore use Hanford's Bal sam. Adv. , . - Indirectly. "Do you ever wake yourself up snor ing?" " "It amounts to that. I frequently wake up the baby." Boston Transcript. To cool a burn apply Hanford's Bal sam. Adv. Progressive Havoc. A militia captain whose company was about to march against an invad ing enemy thus depicted the awful, consequences of the foe's success: "Gentlemen, they will lay your towns in waste, murder your wives and chil dren and pull down your fences." Boston Transcript. . . Resources. "Kitty Is such a resourceful girl." "Is she?" , r "Why, the other day when she'd left her reticule at home she powdered her nose with a marshmallow." Boston Transcript. , Have Hanford's Balsam on hand for accidents. Adv. A Grouchy Remark. "I see Bomebody has perfected a bronze paint, I wonder what that Is intended for?" "For women with iron Jaws, I s'pose," suggested the other nan. At Last. Grubbs Binks says that at last he Is the undisputed master of his house. Stubbs He is, too. His wife and family are away on a visit and the cook has quit. Rtohmond Times-Dispatch. Every Household Needs It. For cuts, burns, sprains and bruises Hanford's Balsam of Myrrh should give quick relief. These may happen any day in any home and the prudent housewife will always keep a bottle on hand. Adv. 1 Cause and Effect. "It la said that the taste for frog eating Is Increasing in this country." "Maybe that is the reason why so many people are croaking." Balti more American.. Lines Be Bothered. In her draped and darkened tent the amateur palmist was -reading hands for a charity. Her present client was a fair maid, who waited Impatiently to hear her fate. ' " "Ah," said the palmist, with slow impressiveness. "I see by your hand that you are going to be married." "How wonderful!" said the girl, with a blush. -. - '. "And," went on the wise one, a note a" acerbity in her voice, "I see that you are engaged to Mr. Binks." "It's perfectly amazing!" gasped the girl. "How can you tell?" "By the long study of the art," came the evasive reply. , "But surely the lines in my hand cannot tell you the name of- "Who said anything about lines?" retorted the sibyl, with cunning scorn. "You are wearing the engagement ring which I returned to Mr. Binks three weeks ago." Philadelphia Led ger. . : Granulated Eyelids, tOlrO Ey" inflamed by expe 1 1 c- it..., injiHJ luiGiuguuiuMiMni wm 1.1 i; 11 l t- VRW EyeBemeoy.NoSirartinj. J i, et. Comfort. At Your Druggirt'i 50c per Bottle. Murine Eys SalvtinTubes2!c. ForBeokellheEyeFrMask Druggists or Murine Eye Hemedy Co., Chicago Crowded Hour. . "Please state to the court exactly what you did between 8 and 9 o'clock on Wednesday morning," said a. law yer to a delicate looking little woman in the witness box. "Well," she said, after a moment's reflection, "I washed my two children and got them ready for school and sewed a button on Johnny's coat and mended a rent In Nellie's dress. Then I tidied up my sitting room and made two beds and watered my plants and glanced over the morning papers. Then I dusted my parlor and set things to rights in it, and washed some lamp chimneys and combed my baby's hair and sewed a button on one of her little shoes, and then I swept my out side steps and I brushed and put away the children's Sunday clothes, and wrote a note to Johnny's teacher ask ing her to excuse him for not being at school on Friday. Then I fed my ca nary and cleared off the breakfaBt table and gave the grocer's boy an order and rested a few minutes before the clock struck 9. That's all." Lon don Tit-Bits. - . Double Proof. A tramp knocked at a farmer's door and called for something to eat "Are you a Christian?" asked the good-hearted country man. . "Can't you tell?" answered the man. "Look at the holes worn in the knees of my pants. What do they prove?" The farmer's wife promptly brought out the food, and the tramp turned to SO. - .;..... "Well! Well!" asked the farmer, "What made those holes In the back of your pants?" "Backsliding," replied the tramp aa he hurried on. Christian Herald. ; Dr. Pierce's Pallets are best for liver, bowels and stomach. One little Pellet for a laxative three for a cathartic Downed, As Usual, i Peck Of course, like all women, you have an Inordinate curiosity. Mrs. Peck Got a curiosity, have It I've got a freak. Boston Transcript Barnvard Soeletv. ' "You look small for a chicken that was hatched out in April." "I was hatched in June. I'm on of the younger set" Boston Trans cript ' . ' Getting the Story. . "My father enjoys the movies." "Thought his eye-sight was getting poor." "He can follow the plane perfectly." Louisville Courier-Journal. t jt u, i r I All Growing Children cure dependent on nourishment for growth. Their health a men and women is largely established In childhood. If your child b languid, bloodless, tired when rising, with out ambition or rosy cheeks, Scot fa EmaUon is a wonderful help. It poetesses nature's grandest body-building fats so delicately prcdigested that the blood absorbs its strength 4 . and carries it to every organ and tissue and fibre. Y First It tneratues their aooetit then It add flnh-atraigthena VS) the tronea-roaJcM them sturdr. active end healthy, iJ No alcohol or narcotic in Scott's Enahion, just parity and strength.