The Athena press. (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, September 22, 1916, Image 4

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    THE
DORT
.AUTOMOBILE
THE LAST WORD in auto perfection in power in per
,: - formance -in beauty in comfort in durability and
In economy. ,
TP3. WONDERFUL CAR has at last been brought to the Pa
' mflc Northwest No other car la like it no other car can touch
. It, with its famous Weatinghouse starting and lighting; its true
cantilever springs and its big, roomy, full-leather upholstered
,r seats. . . '
"Buflt in Hint"
$695 factory
VOU MAY BE THE AGENT in your community. Ask for
proposition. Send for fine catalog.
NORTHWEST AUTO CO.,
; Broadway at Couch, Portland, Oregon.
Please send catalog and full
details of Dort car without ob
ligation on my part to
laaySigii name and address, and mail today.
THE NEW PERKINS HOTEL
Special Summer Rates
Court Room, Single, 75cj Double, $1.
Outside Room, Single, $1; Double, 11.50
(Bath privilege Included) "
Rooms with Private Bath, Single,
$1.50) Double, f 2.00.
When rou Reirleter Art the Clerk for
.; Bummer Kates.? y.
' Auto-Bus Herts Trains. ' '.
. All Cars from Union Depot Psss Our Doors. -
NEW PERKINS HOTEL
Cor. Washington 4 Fifth Bts.. PORTLAND. ORIS
AGENTS: tobac-o-moist
Keeps Tobacco In beat smoking1 condition.
FiU any tobacco tin or cigar box. Smokers
buy on night. Sells everywhere. Biff profits.
Send 10 cents for sample. TOBAC-O-MOIST
DEPT., 610 Dekum Bldf.. Portland, Oregon.
1
PoYour Own Plumbing
By buytrtff direct from us at wholesale prices
and save the plumber's profits. Write us to
day your needs. We will irive you our rock
bottom "dJreet-to-you" prices, f. o. b. rail or
boat We actually sara you from 10 to 86 per
cent, Alt goods guaranteed. -
Northwest headquarters for Leader Water
Systems and Fuller A Johnson Engines.
v STARK-DAVIS CO.
212 Third Street Portland, Oregon
SHIP
Veal, Pork, Beef,
Poultry, Butter, Eggs
and Farm Produce
to the Old Reliable Everdlng house with a
record of 46 years of Square Dealings, and
be assured of TOP MARKET PRICES.
F. M. CRONKH1TE
46-47 Front Street Portland, Oregon
RUPTURE
Johnston & Umbarger
RUPTURE SPECIAUSTS
411-412 Alitkr Bulldins, Portland, Oreaon
Results Guaranteed, s
DRS. HEDLUND, friTTIC'TC
SKIFF I MILLER, 1 Jj jl 1 I Oil.
Take pleasure In announcing that' they are lo
eated at 4M-46V Morgan fakir, (dth floor), Waah
iagbon at Broadway, Portland, Ore., where they
will be pleased to meet their friends and patients.
These office will be conducted on a policy of serv
ice at moderate prices to the beat of our ability.
We always stand behind our work, as we know
that a satisfied patient Is and shall always be the
beat asset, ....,.,,,.
Dr. Elof T. Hedlqnd, Dr. Seymour S. Skiff,
. Dr, J. Howard Miller,
. , DENTISTS.
' ' Telephone, Marshall 99. .
o
Oreoon Vulcanizing Company
(The Tire Shop) haa moved Into larger
quarters in the heart of the automo-
oue district, nurasiue at rjroaaway,
m and 836 Burnside st PortJand, Or.
HIDES, PELTS, CASCARA BARK,
WOOL AND MOHAIR.
Ni tut HI joii hive. Wnle lor prices and shipping tigs
Thi h. f. Norton Co. umind, on., senile, wo
MfflLMES
1 1 BUSINESS COLLEGE
I 1 WASHINGTON 6 TENTH STS)
, JLL PORTLAND.. QREJ
FARMS AND BUSINESS SOLD
Do you want to soil your farm, home or business
(or sash! Write to CARTER REALTY CO.,
604 Bucbanan Buildina, Portland, Oregon
Movie Thrill.
"I suppose you have to go to a great
aeai or expense to get thrills
' "Not always," Bald the movie pro
ducer. "Not if you study your audi
noes."
"For lnstanoe?" '
"Well, It the heroine gets grease on
a pair or white gloves the women spec
tators win become Just as excited
they would over the blowiiiK ui
bridge." Louisville Courier-Journal,
Some Observer.
"I'm glad you never married, Aunt
le."
. "Why, my dear?"
"Cos If you had a man to look after
like my ma you wouldn't have halt so
much time to be good to me." Boston
Free Press.
Trip to the Sea.
Altho we took a fishing shack
And dally fished from dories, -The
only fishy things brought back
Were stories.
Louisville Courier-Journal.
HAWTHORNE AUTO SCHOOL
- Oregon's oldest, Iwst equipped and most
practical st-hooi. Expert limlructlons in
rapalnuir, drlvliur and adjusting;. Practi
aal work in Ins repair ahop. You do the
work with your own hand,. Day and nlnlit
.lasses. Address
Ml llawtaorne Are. . Portland, Ore.
A Northwestern Farm Play.
"A Farm Home Scene In Iceland
Thirty Years Ago" was staged by
twenty young men and women of Ice
landic descent whose homes are in
the country districts of North Dakota.
The tableau was very effective. The
scene represented an Interior sitting
room of an Icelandic home. The walls
were whitewashed; In the rear of the
room was a fireplace; the old grand
father was seated in an arm-chair near
the fireplace reading a story in the
Icelandic language. About the room
were several young ladles dressed In
native costumes, busily engaged in
spinning yarn and knitting, a favorite
pastime of an Icelandic home. On a
chair at the right was a young man
with a violin playing selections from
an Icelandic composer. Through the
small window rays of light were
thrown, representing the Midnight
Hun and the Northern Lights. Just
before the curtain fell, twenty young
people, all Icelanders, joined in sing
ing their national song, which has the
same tune as "America." The effect
of the tableau was far-reaching. The
two hundred pdbple who saw It will
never forgot it. From "Drama for
Hural Communities," by Alfred O. Ar
vold, In the American Review of Re
views for September, 1916.
Send 10c to Dr. Pierce Invalids' Ho
tel, Buffalo, for large trial package of
"Anuric" for kidneys, cures backache.
Explained.
Sister Nancy was going the round
of the ward in the big hospital for
wounded soldiers, examining the med
ical charts over oncli bed and taking
temperatures.
Reaching the side of one hero, in
wuose mouth she had left the ther
mometer a minute before, she was
horrified to find, on w thdrawlne It.
that it registered 120, although only
an nour ago tne patient was normal
Swiftly she summoned the house doc
tor, but lie, on arriving, was seriously
perplexed, as mere was nothing in
the patient's condition to account for
tne sudden rise.
"Look hore," he said to the soldier
"have you dropped this thermometer
or open rooiing about with It?"
"No, sir. Only been stirring me tea
witu in" London Answers.
Spray-a-Cow
Keeps off flies or money back. (1
a gallon from your dealer, or order
; by mail. PXUMMER DRUG CO.
Third mi Mad on, Portland, Or.
1 if BARRELS I
Wrlle about your wants In this Una to
r lNKE. BROS.,
183 Madison St.,
Portland, Or
P. N. U.
No. 89, 1818
NCW MODERN DANCING.
K. Fletcher Hallainore. the lemllnir DanHnir ffr.
pert and instructor in Now York City, writes: I
have used ALI.KNS FOOT-BASE, the antiseptic
powder to be shaken Into the shoos, (or ton years,
and recommend it to all my pupils." It cures and
prevents sore feet. Sold by all Itaur and Depart
nient Stores, 2T.c. Maniple FKE& Addzass, Allan
Their Missions.
"What is your mission here, air?"
onncu mo ncn om man, with a frown.
"I am on three missions. lr." re.
piled the poor young man, who was
also a humorist
"Well, what are they!" Inquired the
uiti man impaiiontiy.
"Permission to marry your daugh
ter, admission to your family circle
ana suumission to tne regulations of
your household."
"Ugh!" grunted the old man, who
was somewhat of a Joker himaolf. "1
have one little mission to offer before
I conclude any arrangements with
you.
name m cnea ine youtm ma.i
eagerly, .
'Dlsmlsslonr' shrieked the old man
with a loud, discordant laugh, and the
poor young man's transmission to the
oooi night air quickly followed, Pear
son's Weekly,
She Was Right.
Mrs. Willis (at the ball came, aa the
pitcher and catcher hold a conference)
What are they talking about r
Mr. Willis About what to throw to
the next batter.
Mra. Wlllla But they aren't al
V v J? throw "Whins to him except
the ball, ar they ? Puokv
mm m
m
sm mm ju t
A Well Known Woman Speaks,
In Every Town In Oregon Neighbors
Say the Same. ,
Tortland, Oregon. I have nsed
Dr. fierce s fa
vorite Prescription
Si lor mv nerves
tjtof; and a general
aflf lfilff urea -aown and
lWiP- "J"-1 WOWIH UUIJF
iris comes l
Sjlg was completely
cured. I also used
Doctor Pierce's
firilrlpn Marlipol
f"' Discovery for the
H on D'd and it proved
ivi ' very ueneiiciai.
"I can heartily recommend Doctor
Pierce's medicines." Mes. J. B.
Uauoh. 643 Dcacum Ave.
The- mighty restorative power of Dr.
Pierce's I'avorito Prescription speedily
causes all womanly troubles to disap-
;ans to properly
periorm uieir namrai mnctiotis, cor
rects displacements, overcomes irregu
larities, removes pain and misery at
certain tir 38 and brings back health
and strength to nervous, irritable and
exhausted women.
It is a wonderful prescription, pre
pared only from nature's roots and
berbs, with no alcohol to falsely stim
ulate and no narcotios to wreck the
nerves. It banishes pain, headache,
backache, low spirits, hot Hashes,
drageing-down sensation, worry and
sleeplessness surely and without loss
of time.
Why should any woman continue to
worry, to lead a miserable existence,
when certain help is at hand ?
What Doctor Pierce's Favorite Pre
scription has done for thousands it
will do for you. It's not a secret
remedy for its ingredients are printed
on wrapper. Get it this very day
from any medidr.e dealer in eithei
liquid or tablet form.
Cream Shippers
will put money in their pockets
dv snipping tneir cream to us.
We pay prompt, give full
weight and correct tests. A
' heavy demand for Hazelwood
Butter means we must have
more high grade cream. Ship
where quality counts.
HAZELWOOD CO.,
PORTLAND, OREGON.
: NnRTHWFST MARKFT RFPflRTS-
GENERAL CROP CONDITIONS
Versatile.
A lady stopping at a hotel on the
Paclflo coast rang the bell the first
morning of her arrival and was very
much surprised when a Japanese boy
opened the door and came in.
"I pushed the button three times
for a maid," she said sternly, as she
dived under the bed covers.
"Yes," the little fellow replied, "me
she."
GIRL GOULD
NOT WORK
How She Waa Relieved from
Pain by Lydia E.Pinkham'
- Vegetable Compound. -
Taunton, Mass. " I had pains In both
ides and when my periods came I had
to stay at noma
from work and suf
fer a long time.
One day a woman
cams to our house
and asked my
mother why I waa
suffering. Mother
told her that I suf
fered every month
and she said, 'Why
don't you buy a
bottle of Lvdia E.
Pinkham 's Vegetable Compound? ' My
mother bought it and the next month I
was so well that I worked all the month
without staying at home a day. I am
In good health now and have told lots of
girls about if Miss Claricb Mown,
22 Russell Street, Taunton, Moss.
Thousands of girls 'suffer in silence
very month rather than consult a nhv.
sician. If girls who are troubled with
painful or irregular periods, backache,
headache, dragging-down sensations,
fainting spells or indigestion would take
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, a safe and pure remedy mads
from roots and horbs much suffering
might be avoided. . .
Write to Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine
Co., Lynn, Mass. (confidential) for free
dvlce which will prove helpful
iti
K t rafe atfeas
Portland Wheat Bluestem, $1.35
fortyfold, (1.33; club, (1.31; red fife,
tl.ifU; red Russian, fl.ZS.
Flour Patents, $6.40; straights,
$5.806.20; exports, $5.80; valley.
$6; whole wheat, $6.60; graham,
$6.40.
Millfeed Spot prices: Bran, $23.60
per ton; shorts, $25.50; rolled barley.
$35.60(2:36.60.
Corn Whole, $42 'per ton; cracked,
$43.
Hay Producers prices : Timothy,
Eastern Oregon, $16.60(818 per ton
timothy, valley, $1516; alfalfa,
$14.60; wheat hay, $12.6013.50; oat
and vetch, $1212.50; cheat, $11
clover, $10.
Butter Exchange prices : Cubes,
extras, 29c bid; 30c asked. Jobbing
prices: Prints, extras, 82i34c; but-
terfat, No. 1, 81c; No. 2, 29c, Port
land.
Eggs Oregon ranch, exchange
prices, current receipts, 29c per dozen,
Jobbing prices: Oregon ranch, candled,
8031c; Belect, 3233c.
Poultry Hens, 1314Jc; broilers,
1618c; turkeys, live, 1822c; ducks,
ll14c; geese, 9llc.
Veal Fancy, 13c per pound.
Pork Fancy, 12J13c per pound,
Vegetables Artichokes, 75c$l per
dozen; tomatoes, 3050c per crate
cabbage, $1.50 per cwt. : peppers, 4(2
5c per pound; eggplant, 66c; let
tuce, 2025c per dozen; cucumbers,
2550c per box; celery, 60(ffl75c per
dozen; corn, 10Z5e per doz.
Potatoes New, 90c$1.16percwt;
sweets, 2i3c per pound.
Onions Oregon and Walla Walla,
$1.50 per sack.
Green Fruits Apples, new, 75c
$1.40 per box; cantaloupes, 50c$1.75
per crate; peaches, 4065c per box;
watermelons, llic per pound; plums,
75c$l per box; pears, 60c$1.25;
grapes, 90c$1.60 per crate; casabas,
lie per pound; blackberries, 75c
per crate.
Hops 1916 crop, nominal; 1916
contracts, Sc per pound; fuggles, 12c
per pound.
Wool Eastern Oregon, fine, 23
26c per pound; coarse, 3032e; val
ley, 8032c.
Cascara Bark Old and new, 4c per
pound.
Cattle Steers, prime, $6.607.15
good, $66.50; common to fair, $5
5.60; cows, choice, $55.60; medium
to good, $4.5005; ordinary to fair.
$44.60; heifers, $45.76; bulls, $3
J4.Z5; calves, $36.
Hogs Prime, $9.659.76; good to
prime mixed, $9.50 9.65; rough
heavy, $8.759.25; pigs and skips,
$8.268.76.
Sheep Lambs, $5.608.26; year
ling wethers, $5.766.50; old weth
ers, $6.606; ewes, $3.605.50.
Fearlnj the Worst.
"Do you want your wife to vote!"
"Certainly," replied Mr. Qrowchor.
"All I hope is that she won't get up-a
series or campaign processions and
make each of 'em as expensive as an
master parade." Washington Star.
Spoke In Rlnalno Tones.
"Bridget, why dou't vou answer the
aooroenj
'Oi didn't hear it sayin' anything,
mum." -
'You must have heard ita tonicue
going, unuget. Boston Transcript,
An Excellent
"FIRST-LINE
DEFENSE"
HOSTETTER'S
Stomach Bitters
Try a bottle for
POOR APPETITE
INDIGESTION
BILIOUSNESS
, , OR MALARIA
You'll find it a splendid aid
Hop Demand is Good;
Picking is in Full Blast
A more general demand has devel
oped in the hop market and buyers are
offering higher prices throughout the
state of Oregon. Eight cents was be
ing freely bid on contracts in the Wil
lamette, valley, witb a substantial
premium for fuggles. McNeff ; Bros,
have purchased between 600 and 600
bales of fuggles at 12 cents.
In Western Washington the market
has also become more active. Seven
hundred bales of clusters were bought
in that section at 8 cents, including
the crops of Frye, Bremer, Cooper and
Perfield.
No trading was reported from Yaki
ma, but the market there was also
firm. The first sample of Yakimas
were received by McNeil Bros, and the
quality was fully equal to that of the
best previous years. California ad
vices were of the sale of 600 bales of
new Sacramentos at 8 and 81 cents.
Pickers are busy in all the Oregon
hop sections. The favorable change in
the weather enabled the pickers to re
sume operations, and it also held back
the mold. It is too early for a definite
estimate as to the size of the Oregon
crop, but many of the dealers believe
tt will run close to 100,000 bales.
New York wires estimated the yield
in that state at 8000 to 10,000 bales.
and the quality very fine. Offers up
to 30 cents are being made for states
and growers are asking 32 cents.
Letters received from London deal
ers put the English crop at 300,000 to
810,000 hundredweight. The London
Times has the following from Canter
bury, dated August 24:
"The hops have not made so much
progress during the past few weeks,
owing to the pronounced drouth. The
crop will vary in yield according to
aiatrictB, many of the hops being on
the small side. In the districts where
rain has recently fallen the-prospects
are the best. Vermin has disappeared
ana mold is not spreading to any ex
tent. It is now expected that the
picKing will commence earlier than
was anticipated. Trade on the market
is quiet, and in the few Bales effected
prices are below recent quotations."
Central Washington Sheep Shipments,
Wenatchee The Great Northern
railway estimates that between now
and the middle of October, 350 cars of
sneepwill be shipped, as compared
with 200 cars during the whole season
last year. Fifty cars have already
been shipped. Thfr value of the sea
son' shipment will run close to $500.-
000. Arrangements have been made
with the Canadian trovemment tn
drive sheep across the line Into British
Columbia next summer. The first
trainload of lambs will leave Thursday
lor we uucago market, . ..
Rot Hits Douglas Prunes. i
Roeeburg, Or. Word that the situ
ation in regard to the prune crop in
Douglas county is alarming because of
the recent rains and the attendant set
ting in of brown rot caused Walter S.
Browne, of the Oregon Agricultural
College, and Fred Strang, county fruit
inspector, to hasten to the orchard dis
tricts. Wherever am-avinor had haan
done, in compliance with the request of
the county fruit inspector, little dis
ease was discovered. Those who failed
to spray, however, probably will lose a
portion oi weir iruit. .
CA8H PRIZES OFFERED
FOR BEST DI8PLAYS
More Than $700 Will Be Distributed at
Seattle Land Show for Best Coun
ty or Community Exhibit.
The best county or community dis
play at the land show in Seattle from
October 4 to 14 will receive a cash
prise of $400 and a handsome trophy
banner. The second nrlze la for 1200
and the third prize $100.
Already there is interest over Wash
ington, Oregon and Idaho in this con
test and a large numher of Washing
ton communities will try for the
prizes. Oregon counties and com
munities will also be well represented,
the displays coming from the state
fair at Salem.
The contest has been thrown nnnn
to any commercial club, grange, farm
ers association, improvement club or
other county or community organiza
tion iu tne iNortnwest. .
The management of the Northwest
Liana froaucts exposition has set
aside $225 in gold for the best Indi
vidual farm exhibit. The first prize
calls for $150 and the second prize
io.
Indications are that the first land
show ever staged in Seattle will be
the greatest agricultural exhibit since
the exposition of 1909. The Great
Northern railway has taken space for
an agricultural display and the Mil
waukee will make a similar exhibit
and in addition will bring the Mon
tana state exhibit to the show.
The Alaska display will be the
greatest ever made and the entire ex
hibit of grains, grasses and vegetables
from the annual fall fair at Fairbanks
will be shipped to Seattle the latter
part of this month.
The- land show at Seattle will cover
more than 70,000 sauare feet in the
heart of the business district, the city
authorities giving permission to tent
over Fifth Avenue adjoining the
Arena, the city's largest assembly hall.
Logic. ,
The guv'nor wants enough peas to
sow two rows."
But how long are the rows?"
"Bit longer 'n passon's garden."
"But I don't know how Ions: the oar-
son's garden is."
Whoi, it be a bit shorter 'arrourn."
Passing Show.
Free.
'Vacation is a great thine."
Don't have to watch the clock then.
eh?"
"Don't even have to watch the cal
endar. Louisville Courier-Journal.
W. L. DOUGLAS
"the shoe that holds it8 shape"
$3.00 $3.50 $4.00 $4.50 & $5.00 aXSVSSIh
Save Money by Wearing W. L Douglaa
shoes. ForealebyoverSOOOehoedealera.
The Beat Known Shoes in the World.
Y7- L. Douglas name ami the retail price is stamped on me boc
" torn of all shoes at the factory.. The value is guaranteed and
the wearer protected against high prices for inferior shoes. The
retail prices an the same everywhere. They cast no mora in San
Francisco than they do in New York. They are always worth the
price paid for them. .
'"pM quality of W. L, Douglas product is guaranteed by more
- than 40 years experience in malting fine shoes. The smart
styles are the leaders in the Fashion Centres of America.
They are made in a well-equipped factory at Brockton, Mass.,
by the highest paid, skilled shoemakers, under the direction and
supervision ot experienced men, all working with an honest
determination to make the best shoes for the price that money
uui imy. - ...
Ask Tour shoe dealer tolW. T Douarlas aho.. Tf li
not supply yon with the kind yon want, take no othar
U1MILW. W TIM,
a-et shoos of th
by return mull, postage, free.
for liiterestlnsr booklet ejTnlatnlnv kw A
:et shoos of the highest standard of quality for tne prion,
LOOK FOR W. L Douglas
name and the jretatl price
stamped on the bottom.
President O
run
Boys' Shoes
Best In the World
$3.00 $2.50 1 $2.00
W. I,. DoMglai Hhoa Co., Brockton. Mass.
II r in 1 is 1 tit iiiiiM 1 1 tits
L Ui J I
Leader" and "Rmpea ter
Shot Shells
For the hirh flyers; or the low flyers, "Leader" and
Repeater' shells have the reach, spread arid penetra
tion. Their great sale is due to these qualities, which
insure a full bag. Made in many gauges and .loads.
BE SURE TO ASK FOR THE W BRAND
to 00 mora neoMsary
than Smallpox, Army
experience bis demoiutr&ted
the almcxt miraculous effi
cacy, adbtraleftneu,of Antityphoid Vaccination.
fie vaccinated NOW by your physician, you tod
your family. It Is more vital thaa house Insurance.
Ask vour ashvilcian. dnipplrt. or send for "Ha
you had Typhoid?" telling of Typhoid Vaccine,
f etultl from ui ( and danger from Typhoid Carriers.
TrK CUTTER IA5ODAT0BY, BERKELEY, CAL.
MOM1CM VACCINH USBHS UIMI U. MV. UCINSf
srisfM a Granulated Eyelids,
Jf Eyes inflamed by expo-
surern finn. fluelanrl vYIni
91?w rarvaeai quickly reliered by Hurlos
LVCS EysBemeily. No Smarting,
ey lust Eye Comfort. At
Your Druggist's 50c per Bottle. Murine Eye
SalvclnTubes 25c ForBeokollheEyeFreeask
Druggists or Murine Eye Remedy Ca., Chicago
New Houston Hotel
SIXTH AND EVERETT STS.
Four Blocks from Union Station. Under new
management. All rooms newly decorated.
SPECIAL RATES BY WEEK OR MONTH
Rates 50c, 75c, $1, $l.SO Per Day.
r
PRINTERS AND PUBLISHERS,
i itnituiNi
PERFECT PRINTING PLATES
Furnished on short notice. ' Write for
Scale of Prices. Portland Electrotype &
Stereotype Co., Front i Stark, Portland, Or.
Some One Ought to Tell Her.
Dear little Willie, was only recentiy
married, and for the past fortnight he
had been wearing that fatuous smile
which a man wears on only two occa
sions when he is first married and
when the first baby arrives. That
smile, which suggests a codfish in
paradise, is extremely annoying to the
onlooker. Therefore, Willie's friends
were relieved to see him appear one
morning looking very glum.
"Hallo, Willie! What's the matter?"
tney cried in chorus.
"Oh, don't chaff; boys don't chaff!
Marriage isn't what I thought It was!
ray wne can t sing!"
"Can't sing? Why, you ought to be
tnanKiui lor that!"
' Yes, I dare say. And I might be
oniy, you see, she doesn't know It!
London Answer, ......
Across the Continent In Five Days
lBjj Hours.
Fred W. Vogler, president of The
Northwest Auto Co., of Portland
premier speed boat enthusiast of the
Pacific Coast all-round sportsman
and general good fellow, has been pre-
raiioa upon to oring a duplicate of the
famous Marmon 34, that crossed the
country in less than six davs. to Pen.
dleton during the Round-Up week
so that some of our real riders may
nave a cnance to see this wonderful
car.
When the railroad situation looked
as If it might tie up every road In the
country, Mr. Vogler said:
"We can move troops fast enough
with the Marmon 34 to Btop anything
and one man proved It beyond a
doubt."
8. B. Stevens arrived at San Fran
cisco just 6 days, 18 hours after the
cat1 had left Columbus Circle, New
York City, 3476 miles away.
This completed the most remark
able and fastest journey ever made
across the United States in a motor
car-r-the average rate of speed being
almost equal to the schedule of the
fast transcontinental railroad trains.
His Honor In Error.
Mose Ham was arrested for "loud
and uproarious language" and "dis
turbing the peace." Judge Brlles read
the document in the case and then
turned to the black-as-ebony prisoner.
"Mose Ham," said he. "vou are
charged with shouting, groaning, cry-
tug toua in me nignt, lamentations,
impure language, cursing, swearing,
oreaKing tne peace and general noisy
conduct not befitting a citizen. What
nave you to say?"
"Des dis, jedge, dey ain't no spec' er
dat de truf; all I had wuz er slight
visitation ob religion. Ef I talksd
loud, jedge, hit wus becauz I'm further
away rrom th' Lawd dan moB' folks.
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
What a Tourist Heard. i
A tourist In Ireland tame upon a
cuuyie or men "in noits" rolling on the
roaa. Tne man on top was pummel-
mg the other within an inch of his
life. The traveler looked on for a mo
ment in silence and then Intervened,
i say, it s an infernal shame to
striKe a man when he s down."
"Faith, if yez knew all the trouble
I had gettin' him down yez wouldn't
be talkin' like that," came the Inter
mittent reply. Judge. t
Comparisons.
"So your boy Josh is a soldier now?"
"Yep," seplied Farmer Corntossel.
"And I want to tell you the discipline
Is doing him good. It's the first time
in many a year that Josh couldn't put
on airs 'cause he was better dressed
than I was." Washington Star.
Fostering Talent
"Your daughter has a wonderful
voice. You ought to cultivate it."
"What for? A voice doesn't show
up In moving pictures. But I've got a
boy with a funny walk whom I expect
to see drawing a thousand a week one
ot these days." Washington Star.
:' Prolonged Mourning.'
Bones, a hostler, failed to turn up
at the livery yard one morning. .
"Where's Bones?" the boss asked.
"His father's dead, sir," explained,
one other hostler. ..
"Oh!" '
The next day again Bones failed to
turn up. And the next day, still he
was absent.
"Bones not about?" said the boss.
"His father," said the other hostler,
"as I told you before, sir "
"Well, look here;" said the boss,
"you slip on your coat and run round
to Bones' house and find out If he
Intends to stay away all the time his
father is dead." Chicago Journal.
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