Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The Athena press. (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 4, 1916)
Complete House for Only $75 For a homestead, seaside and mountain sum mer retorts, there is nothing- that will beat our 2-room bungalow. This house is made of rood Duality coast fir lumber, the house being SsOxlO feet in size, divided into two rooms to suit the repuirements of the purchaser; has if 6 windows, porch 4x4 and galvanized steel chimney. A hammer, wrench, and screw driver 1b all that is needed to erect. Our mill price direct from factory to you is only 975. Milimade Construction Co., 604 Hood Street, PORTLAND, OREGON AIRIOKl DEMANDED Charles E. Hughes' Acceptance Speech Sets Forth Campaign Issues and Asserts American Rights. The Mathews Welding & Cutting Co., 191 Everett St., Near Ninth, Portland, Ore. Portable Eleclric and Oxy-Acetylene Plant. Ready at all Timee, Oxy-Acetylene Welding and Cutting. Welding by Thermit, Electricity, Oxy-Acetylene. Welding of Sheet Steel, Cett Iron, Aluminum Bra,,, Etc. Boiler and Marino Work a Specialty. ALSO AGENTS: The Hcnderson-Willls Welding and Cutting Co., St. Louis, U. S. A. Federal Brass Work,, 31st St. & Kedzle Ave., Chicago. THE NEW PERKINS HOTEL ecial Summer Rates Sp Court Room. Single. 75c; Double. $1. Outside Room, Single, $1; Double, $1.50 (Bath privilege included) Room with Private Bath, Single, $1.50; Double, $2.00. (When you Register Ask the Clerk for Summer ltutes,) An to-Bus Meet Train. All Can from Union Depot Pans Our Doors, NEW PERKINS HOTEL Cor. Washington ft Fifth St.., PORTLAND. ORE AUTO WRECKING PARTS FOR 1-2 Parts over GO makes and models, at half the res; war price. Buy your used auto part from an old-established and reputable dealer, who has a reputation to protect and conduct the largest parts store and carries tho largest complete as sortment of used auto parts of any company this side of Chicago. Our prices are less, and for this reason we outsell all other. AH part are guar an teed to be in first-claw condition. MOTOR PARTS MFG. CO. ' Incorporated. 323-325-327 BURNSIDE ST., PORTLAND, OR. Not Likely. Beatrice Amelia, the maid of all work attached to the domicile of Bll klns, decided to link her fate with a member of the opposite sex. After tho tying-up ceremony Bhe ap proached her late mistress with all her worldly wealth and requested that It ehould be kept In her custody until called for. "I'll keep It for you," said the lady in astonishment, ."but won't you be needing the money to spend on your honeymoon?" Amelia eyed her mistress with scorn as she displayed her superior knowl edge of the world. "What, mum!" she exclaimed. "D'ye think I'd trust myself with a strange man and all that money on me?" i-ionuon lueas. Thought on Marriage. Senator liurton said at a wedding breakfast: "It is a cheerful sight to see a good, well-balanced marrlugo, such as this one. What a sad thing it is, on the other hand, to see one of those mar riages where the groom has a lot of bad habits that we know, for all the bride's devotion, he will never be able to break away from. "When I hear of a girl who Is con templating such a marriage I always feel like saying to her: " 'To marry a man to reform him Is like trying to make a good omelet out of bad eggs.'" Washington Star. Charles E. Hughes outlined in his speech of acceptance in New York, Monday night, the issues upon which he will conduct his campaign for the presidency, Mr. Hughes assailed the administra tion for the course it has pursued with reference to Mexico, maintenance of American rights during the European war, preparedness and other great questions of the day. He declared for a new policy of "firmness and consist ency" toward Mexico, for "the un flinching maintenance of all American rights on land and seas," and for ade quate National defense; adequate pro tection on both our Western and East ern coasts. "We denounce all plots and conspir acies in the interest of any foreign nation, " said Mr. Hughes. "Utterly intolerable is the use of our soil for i alien intrigues. Every American must unreservedly condemn them and sup port every effort for their suppres sion." The nominee assailed the adminis tration for its "direction of diplomatic intercourse" from the beginning, de claring that where there should have been conspicuous strength and expert ness there had been weakness and in expertness. He cited Santo Domingo as an instance where appointments had gone to "deserving Democrats" and to the failure to continue Ambassador Herrick at his post in Paris after the war had started as "a lamentable sac rifice of international repute." "I indorse the declaration in the platform In favor of woman suffrage," Mr. Hughes declared, and he added: "Opposition may delay, but in my judgment cannot defeat, this move ment. I favor the vote for women." One-fourth of the speech was devot ed to Mexico. Step after step taken by the administration with reference to Mexico was assailed, from the days of Huerta to the note sent the de facto government by the State department June 20 last, part of which was quoted in the speech. The seizure of Vera Cruz, the nominee said, was "war, of course." "Later we retired from Vera Cruz," he continued, "giving up this noble warfare. Recently the naked truth was admitted by a Cabinet officer. We are now informed that we did not go to Vera Cruz to force Huerta to salute the flag. We are told that we went there to 'show Mexico that we were in earnest in our demand that Huerta must go.' " "America." Mr. Hughes continued. "has no policy of aggression toward Mexico, no desire for any part of her territory, but wishes her to have peace, stability and prosperity. "I he conduct of the administration has created difficulties we shall have to surmount," he said. "We demand from Mexico the protection of the lives and property of our citizens and the security of our border from depredations." Safeguarding American rights abroad nad not been accomplished by the ad- Mr. Hughes said it was plain that we must have protection, up-building policies. Other measures, too, should be applied, he said, notably the up building of a merchant marine. To make peace lasting and effective when the present war shall end, Mr. Hughes advocated the formation of an international tribunal to dispose of controversies of a justiciable sort. backed by the co-operation of the na tions to prevent war before peaceful methods of adjustment end. . Mr. Hughes also declared for the "conservation of the just interests of labor, " for conservation of natural re sources and for a national budget. "Our opponents promised economy, but they have shown a reckless extrav agance. It is time we had fiscal re form." BMtkitpiiii Stfflofrapaj TaleiraBby Banklag HI riedeite, MOW la Bub ISOOotacn la food DMltioiie I S OoU laesair-ltj Efficiency Cenlaouei confer red liBce Jan. auwaya poeltlen for TOU wneaj competent it w .ft Portland Y.M, C. A, Auto School Day and night classes. Expert training fn repainnsr, driving and machine work; including; forge, lathe, shaper, drill press, tractors, etc. Time unlimited. COMPE TENT CHAUFFEURS AND MECHAN ICS SUPPLIED. WHITE US. SHOE AGENTS WANTED MEN AND WOMEN NO EXPENSE v NO INVESTMENT Take Orders for Rrmenthnr. flhM . lut mm. elusive agent. Write today for instruction!. Make 116.00 to $40.00 weekly: others do. ROSENTHAL'S 1 161-163 Post St., San rrancisco, CaL Mr. Hughes closed with an indorse ment of the Republican platform adopted by the national convention and a formal acceptance of the nomination. Senator Harding, in his notification speech said : "Mr. Hughes: The committee here assembled, representing all of the United States and territories, chosen by the Republican National conven tion, which met in Chicago on laBt June 7, is directed by that convention formally to notify you of its action in selecting you as its nominee for the Presidency of the Republic. "Speaking for the committee, it is my pleasure to say directly what was conveyed to you by telegraph, while the convention was yet is session- that you are unanimous choice of the Republican National convention for the party standard-bearer. , "That convention uttered the prin ciples oi a connaent, aetermlnted re united and enthusiastic Republican party, which turns to you, in highest respect ana trust, as a nominee best typifying the party's purposes and the people s desires. "Inasmuch as the unusual circum stance inspired an informal notice at the time of the convention's action and you then made an informal acceptance of the call to patriotic duty, which won the plaudits of our people, I shall not refer in detail to the actions of the convention or the declared princi ples to which the Republican party is committed. But it is fitting that I should speak the congratulations of this committee on your most extraor dinary nomination. "It has no parallel in the history of the Republican party. As the while people have approvingly witnessed, you have been chosen for leadership by a convention which comprised the best thought, the highest intention and deepest consecration of a great and historic party, when you were not only an aspirant, but discouraged all en deavors in your behalf. "Notwithstanding your holding aloof from all conferences and participation, that unfailing understanding which di rects popular sentiment to highest vic tory caned you to the service of the party and the nation. Your record of Cash For Butterfat Make us your next shipment of Cream. We guarantee absolutely correct testa, imme diate returns Right treatment. DO IT NOW Hazelwood Co, Portland NORTHWEST MARKET REPORTS; GENERAL CROP CONDITIONS HIDES, PELTS, CASCARA BARK, WOOL AND MOHAIR. Wt want an you have. Write (or prices and shipping tags THE H. F. NORTON Co. Portland, Ore., Seattle, Wo REDUCED FREIGHT RATES To and from all points on household Broods, pianos, and automobiles. Information cheerfully given. Pacific Coast Forwarding Co., '?0&i' ELECTRIC MOTORS Bought, Sold, Rented and Repaired WALKER ELECTRIC WORKS Burnside. cor. 10th. Portland. Ore. o Double Tread Puncture Proof Tires Mode from your old ones. Lost long as Brand New TIRKS Write us. . .. OREGON VULCANIZING CO., 660 Washington St. Portland, Ore. Gone for Good. The mart who globe-trots for a liv ing met an old pal from his native village. "How do they all go at home?" he Inquired. "What's happened to Bill Smith and Joe Parkins? I suppose they've joined up?" Yes, they be gone," said his com panion sadly. Well, and how's old Mrs. Brown? I'd like to see her again," remarked tne traveler. run u-mjuu Biurieu to sou. "You'll never see poor Mrs. Brown again!" he wailed. Come, come! I suppose you mean she's dead. But remember, we all meet after death." 'Yes," said the friend: "but you'll never see her again. Mrs. Brown's gone to heaven." And the air grew decidedly chillv. London Ideas. Portland Wheat Bluestem $1,081 per uusnei; lortyrold, 94c; club, 98c rea me, wac; red Kussian, 92c. MUifeed Spot prices: Bran, $26 26.60 per ton; short, $2929.60; rol- icu uuruiy, ? 01.0U(gl3Z.50. Corn Whole. S38 Der ton ; r-rnr-lrArl on 09. . - May Timothv. EaHlftrn rinimn $21.6022.60 per ton; timothy, val ley, aiBfaUS: alfalfa. CIS Rival i Kn cutter uubes, extras, no bid prime firsts, 24Jc Jobbing prices; Prints, extras, 2729c; butterfat, No, i, oc; no. 2, Z4C, rortland. . Jigga Oregon ranch, exchange price, current receiDts. 24c rjer dozen. Jobbing prices: Oregon ranch, -can- uiea, zoc; selects, ZbrgjZYC Poultry Hens, 14jc per pound broilers, 1618c; turkeys, live, 20 uuckb, iigii4c; geese, 9c veai rancy, iirjc per pound. Pork Fancy. 111c Der round.. Vegetables Artichokes. 60c(3!Sl ner uozen; tomatoes, 7Uctgl.26 per crate; caDoage, ?l.7o per hundred; garlic, j.uc per pouna; peppers. yfallUc: eetr- plant, 121c; lettuce, $1 per crate; cu cumbers, $11.26 per box; peas, 4 oc per pouna; Deans, 47c; celery, $1 per uozen; corn, bubUc. Potatoes New, ll2c ner round. Onions California red and yellow, $2 per sack; Walla Walla. J2.25. Green Fruits Apples, new, $1.25 1.76 per box; cherries, 610c per pound; cantaloupes, $1.102.75 per crate; peaches, - 8675c per box; watermelons, ?J.j(g,lte per pound; figs, $11.60 per box; plums, 76c$1.60; pears, $2; apricots, $11.26; grapes, $1.76; blackberries, $1.501.75; rasp berries, 90c$1.26; blackcaps, $1.60. Hops 1915 crop, 8llc per pound; isms contracts, lllljc. Wool Eastern Oregon, fine, 23 26c; coarse, 8032c: valley, 30(ffi33c. Cascara Bark Old and new, 4c per pouna. Cattle Steers, choice, $7.608; good, $6.607.50; cows, choice, $6.25 6.60 good, $5.506.25; heifers, $4 6.60; bulls, $34.75; stags, $4.50 6. Hogs Prime light, $8.609.10; good to prime, $7.768.10; rough neavy, Y.6u7.76; pigs and skips, fb.butgi.iu. Sheep Yearlings, $6.75 6.26; wethers, $4.756; ewes, $2.605.50; tamos, B(Oj8.Zb. To keep clean an healthy take Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets. They regu late liver, Dowels ana stomacn. ministration, he said. There had been public service, your well known and One remedy with many uses ford's Balaam of Myrrh. Adv. Han- Too Prosaic. "Your wife used to take consider able interest in your gardening effort." "Yep." "But I don't see her in the garden wun you any more." "she lost interest when sho found I couldn't raise olives, or grapefruit, or uroiuus. Liouisviue l-ourler-Journal Her Limitations. roor junei anes run down an- uuier -worxingmair with a wire and six cniiuren!" "Well! She can't steer, eat choco lates, Keep nor feet on Blx pedals and run down rich and unattached bache lors exclusively, can she?" Puck. Poor Reward. "Virtue is its own reward," observ ed the alleged philosopher. "Yes," replied the other fellow, "but the reward Is seldom more than 30 bob a week." London AnBwors. Got All He Wanted. O'Brien Bid yes convince Cassidy thot he was in the wrong? Mulligan 01 dlunaw if I convinced him; but OI mod him own up to It Boston Transcript. "brave words in a series of notes," but "what does it avail to use some of the strongest words known to diplo macy if ambassadors can receive the impression that the words are not to be taken seriously. " The nominee reiterated his declara tion that had this government left no doubt that it meant to hold Germany "to strict accountability," there would have been no loss of life on the Lusi taina. Discussing preparedenss Mr. Hughes said it was apparent that the United States was "shockingly unprepared." "ihe administration has failed to discharge its responsibilities," Mr. Hughes continued, "Apparently it is now seeking to meet political exigen cies by its naval program. But it has imposed upon the country an incompe tent navai administration, "We demand adequate protection on notn our western and Eastern coasts. We demand thoroughness and efficiency in both arms of the service. It seems to be plain that our regular army is too small. We are' too great a coun try to require of our citizens who are engaged in peaceful vocations the sort of military service to which they are now called." Of the present prosperity, Mr. Hughes said: "We are living in fool's paradise. "It is," he said, "a nrosneritv brought about by the abnormal condi tions of war. For the protection of the industries and workingmen of the united States aeamst the comrjetitlon of "an energized Europe." Sure. Teacher If a farmer sold five tone of potatoes at Bixpence a pound, what would he get? Boy A motorcar. London Answers Ship Veal, Pork, Beef, Poultry, Butter, Eggs & Farm Produce iL'.rfLI Mblf "'ling house with a rrdof46ye,ol8ouare Dealing, an, be Top Market Price. F. M. CRONKHITE, 45-47 FroBj S!, PORTLAND, ORE courageous views on public questions when in executive position, your abid ing devotion to Republicanism, your possession of a confidence which has united all believers in Republican poli cies under our party banner, your un alterable and abiding Americanism. your high personal character and well- known capacity all these have fixed you in the American mind as the best exponent of Republican principles and the wisest leader to restore American prestige and efficient government We bring you now the commission to that leadership. We bring it full confidence that the people will gladly acclaim the Republican restora tion under yOUr trusted leadership. we oring it in tne highest apprecia tion of that peace of right and justice wnicn your unwavering Amercanism will hold secure rather than endanirer. We bring it in the strong belief that American material good fortune, under republican industrial preparedness. will be the glad reflex of our own peace and the world's peace and be held permanent under Republican pro tection. We bring it in firm convic tion that you, sir, will hold that plat form promises constitute a sacred party covenant and the expressed will of the people at the polls must find response In capable and efficient administration. "Aye, sir, we bring it believing vou will add to our self-respect, confidence and good fortune at home and to that respect and good opinion abroad which meets our higher American aspira tions. Feathered Quadrupeds. Teacher Willie, what is a quadru peaT Willie A thing with four legs, sir. 'reacner Name one. Willie An elephant. Teacher Are there any feathered quadrupeds? Willie Yes, sir. Teacher What? Willie A feather bed, sic London Answers. . P. N. U. No. 32, I8IB W? 'ertlaera. pie. uoa this neper. Raiders Kill 2 Americans. El Paso, Tex. Carranzaista soldiers and customs guards are pursuing two of five Mexican bandit who crossed the American border Monday and fought with a detail of U. S. Cavalrv. reinforced by a detachment of Mexican troops, killing two Americans and wounding a third in the desert south of San Ignacio. Chihuahua. Reports itoiii vaptain Marcelo Marullo. com manding the detachment, composed of about six soldiers and six Mexican guards, Bald that the outlaws mm Uat een eight miles south of the border. Rebel Burn City. San Francisco Hankow. China. Tuesday was in the hand. nt SI tAVl-t)la tionary mob, and great quantities of property were being burned, according to cable advices received here by the Robert Dollar Steamship company irom its Hankow office. No details were received. The' Dollar company's advice. ..id that the premise, adjoin ing their lumber and .hipping yard, were in flames, but that their holding, were not endangered. The .teamship official, took this to Indicate that the German concessions were burning. 184 Dead In Forest Fires, Toronto, Ont. With one town wiped out, another almost In ruin, and a score of small settlement, obliterated. Premier Hearst announced Tuesday night that 184 person. loBt their live. in the forest nre. in Northern Ontario, Only a heavy rainfall early Tuesday saved a great part of the province from destruction. Hundreds are home less and the Dominion government has taken extraordinary measure, to pro vided for refugees. Where the town of Matheson once stood there are only .mouldering ruins and ashes. "Letter Home" Probed, El Paso Correspondents attached to the various militia unit. In this district were made uneasy Tuesday by the new. that copies of their article, to home paper, dealing with the treat ment of the men have been submitted to the various commanding officers for investigation. It i. learned that at the order, of the War department, these officer, have been instructed to get at the truth of the charges of mismanage ment, incompetence and neglect made in these articles. If it is proved in any case the blame will be fixed. "Money Back" Medicine. Our readers never risk a cent when they buy Hanford's Balsam of Mvrrh because every dealer in this liniment is authorized to refund the money if tne juaisam is not satisfactory. Adv. Out of It '"Deed no, sah, I can't jlne no army." "But your country needs you, Ras- tus." "Cafl't help dat. It's onpossible." "Why impossible, Rastus?" - "Well, you see, my or woman has been ovah to de police co't an' put me unner bonds to keep 'de peace. No, sah, I can't do no fighting, nohow." Boston Transcript . A Cinch. , "You don't stir from this hotel until you ve paid your bill," said the man ager firmly. "That suits me right down to the ground," replied the delinquent guest I ve always wanted to have a perma nent home. New York World. A Reminder, 'She seemed pleased with your so ciety last evening." . . Yes; Bhe said I reminded her of a loved and lost one. Has Bhe lost a sweetheart by death?" Nope: all she ever lost by death was a Boston bulldog." Houston Post The Price of Peace. I quarreled with my wife yesterday and we haven't spoken since." Why don t you make up?" I'm going to. All I'm worried about now Is the indemnity. Boston Transcript HAWTHORNE AUTO SCHOOL , The only Automobile School on the Pa eitle Coast maintaining a Caa Tractor Dent.. Uaing Holt Caterpillar. C. L. Beet Track layer and Wheel Tractate, both In the Hehool and operating fteld. . 15 Hawthorne Are. Portl.ad. Ore. A teed frets b Midt Sc It Does Not Grow So. There fa only one way to get a good Violin Without Groat Ex pense, which is: Send in your Old Bad One and have it made Into an Old Good One. Esti- . mate given free. AU work aruaranteed. cVnd to i THE COULTER CO tHHftakagaeSl. hruamltra Early High Prices Paid for ; Prunes Not Repeated Now Portland The prune crop outlook in the Northwest is enitrely satisfactory ana a record crop now seems assured. One of the leading packers estimates the yield at 40,000,000 pounds. The largest crop heretofore was about 30.- 000,000 pounds, produced eight or nine years ago. Since that time many new orchards have come in. Because of the increase in acreage, even if the crop were on a parity with last year', the above estimate, it is believed, would be realized: The market at the present time is weak and the future for values is not so bright. There was considerable early contracting, packer, paying the growers 61 to 7 cents for 80-35s, with a quarter-cent drop for each count of 6s. Ubese were the highest prices paid for many yean, and between 25 and 80 per cent of the crop was signed up, but the quotations are not obtain able now. In fact the leading packers are out of the market as buyers for the reason that they are unable to get oraers irom tne rJast. Jobbers in the Eastern states bought only limited quantities, owing to the high prices, but they declare they have enough prunes engaged for the present, and are satisfied there are more prunes to be had later on the Coast than are re quired for United State consumption furthermore, they assert there will be no export business done in the article this year. The high price, prevailing early in tne season were ascribed to the uncer tainty as to the Northwestern tonnage. and the fact that the California mar ket was then ruling high. This en abled Northwestern packer, to do a fair amount of business at a very good ngure. Rate on Crab. Delayed. Salem Wells, Fargo Co. has agreed that, pending a hearing by the Public Service commission Bet for July 31 at Portland, it would transport eraDS irom Newport, Or., to Portland, charging on the basis of 22 pounds dozen, instead of by actual weight, as Heretofore. This charge in on the same basis as the rate on crabs from Puget Sound point, to Portland. George Plancich, of Portland, com plained to the commission that the Wells-Fargo rate on crab, discriminat ed in favor of Puget Sound dealer., EE ? I bought five boxes of Eureka Stumping Powder and now I want to sell a lot of other powder that I have," writes Rudolph Stadeli, Silverton, Cre. "The other Dowder -makes me terribly sick when I try to use it, but Eureka does not give me the least headache. Eureka Stumping Powder is one of the two rfARMPOWDERS STUMPING AGRICULTURAL, Eureka goes farthest and costs least in blasting stumps in dry ground. Giant Stumping Powder saves work and money in blasting in wet soils, - r Both of these Giant Farm Powders are made especially to meet Western farm conditions. They are made by a Pacific Coast company, with SO years' experience the,, company that originated all "giant powders." Your dealer can supply you; if he does not, write us and we will see that you get the genuine, which has the Giant brand on every box. Save Money on Stump Blasting Our valuable illustrated book, "Better Stump Removing," shows you how to do it. Send us your address on a post card and we will mail you this book and any of four others on Orchard Tillage, Boulder Blasting, Subsoil Blasting and Ditch Blasting, that you care to have. Write for them now. THE GIANT POWDER CO, Con., ;?SI, San Francuco "Everything for Blotting" BRANCH OFFICES! Seattle, Spoltane, Portland, Salt Lalca City, Denver FALL TERM OPENS TUESDAY, SEPT. 5, 1916 .Bookkeeping, Shorthand, Typewriting, Penmanship, Letterwriting, Arithmetic, Commercial Law, and all commercial .jects taught by ex perienced teachers. Civil Service training a specialty. The demand for our Graduates exceeds the supply. Write Today for Free Illustrated Catalogue. LINK'S BUSINESS COLLEGE Phone Main 6083 A.T. LINK, Principal. Tilford BId'g, Tenth and Morrison St Portland, Or. Oregon Hernia InstiMa Rupture treated meehanlcalhr. Private fitting room. Highest teettmooiala. Ho auila guaranteed. Call or write. JOHNSON 4 UMBARGER 411-411 ABeky Building. PanlaaoL Ofma Chehali.; Seek. Commission House. Chehalis A. F. Scherer, Chehali. groceryman, was toastmaster at the club luncheon Wednesday, and the sub ject of handling, the local green pro duce, fruits, vegetables, potatoes, etc.. was discussed, Mr. Scherer suggesting that it would be a very profitable thing ror some large commission house to place a branch house in Chehalis. Ow ing to the situation of Chehali. and its proximity to the market of Wlllapa harbor, Gray' harbor, etc. it was thought that a house like this would be of great advantage. Oregon Juice In Demand. Eugene The output of loganberry juice ny the rJugene Fruit Grower.' association cannery this season has amounted to almost 16,000 gallon. several time, tne production of any previous season. Manager J. O. Holt reports the demand for his Oregon product constantly increasing. - The cannery i. now engaged in can ning string beans, an unusually large acreage having been planted in the vicinity of Eugene. ' First 1916 Wheat I Moved, Lewiston, Idaho The first wheat of the 1918 crop was shipped from this region Thursday by the M. H. Houaer company to Chicago. The wheat was fortyfold and was raised on the W. J. Houser ranch west of Clarkston. Buy er are now-offering 86 cent for blue stem or fortyfold. - Dehyphenlzing. 5- I lust think it should be stopped by law," said the good wife, looktne up from her paper. What should be Btopped by law, my angel?" asked the kind husband. "This practice of people hyphenatine their nationalities. There should be no German-Americans or French Americans or Italian-Americans. They snouia all oe Just plain Americans." But if such a law were passed, my angel," meekly suggested the kind husband, "would that affect your prac tice or signing your name 'Mrs. Eliza beth Hicks-Mugley?' " But her only reply was a hyphen ated sniff. Judge. To quickly cool burns and take the fire out use Hanford's Balsam. Adv. An Underbidden "Ye'Il excuse me, captain," said O'Harrity, addressing the commander of the battleship, "but is ut thrue that it costs sivin hundred dollars to fire wan o' thim big guns?" "Yes, O'Harrity," said the captain. wny do you ask?" Oi t ought Oi might save yez some money, sorr," said O'Harrity. "Sure and Oi'U fire 'em for yez for tin." New rorK. Times. . , Kill Ail Files! lk3sr .Yy-ssWtfrrti-Kt'P ". will not oii o f injur oirthlns. Gun ran. ti ffeeHve. A.fcfor Daisy Fly Killer Sold by ffealtrs, oln t,tDUI.D,...:j 1- I HAROLD SOHIRS, 10 D.K.IO Av... Creoklj., .1, Y. A Granulated Eyelids, Eyes inflamed by expo sure to Sun, Dusland Wind yes quickly relieved by Hurln tyeKemeov. NoSnumr.ff, just Eye Comfort, At Your Druggist's 50c per Bottle. Murine Eje saivein lubes zsc. rorUooKolinetyerreeask Druggists or Murine Eye BtmCy Co., Chicago boy Not Complaining. 'So you havo to wear your josn s old clothes. "Yep," replied Farmer Corntossel. We can't afford to waste 'cm. And there's something to be thankful for when I think of what mother would be like if Josh had been a daughter in stead of a son." Washington Star. Defend Himself. The charge was assault and bat tery, j Have you any one to defend you?" asked the judge. .-. Defend me! exclaimed the prison er indignantly. "I don't want any body. I'll defend myself. " Come on. any nan aozen ot you. One Salesman and Another Mrs. Autoun wanted new shoes, so she went Into a shop, where an obllg-, ing assistant brought out a selection tor her to try on. , "That's strange, madam," said he, after many vain attempts to fit her. "One of your feet is larger than the ' other." i : Bristling with rage, the lady left that shop and sought another. Here, again, the assistant failed to find a pair that would do. L "How curious, madam," he said, "one of your feet is smaller than the other." And with a beaming smile Mrs. Au toun bought two pairs. Pittsburgh Chronicle-Teiegraph. For sprains and bruises apply Han ford's Balsam thoroughly. Put it on, and rub it in. Adv. No Cause for Worry. Husband That is the limit! You've ordered two new dresses!- Don't you know that we are already head over ears in debt? Wife Yes, I know, but -the dress maker doesn't. Boston Transcript . Real One. "Has Jenks any grounds for predict ing a real estate boom In his neiebbor- hood?" Oh, yes. His own that he wants to sell." Baltimore American. - j Determined Gloom. "You must admit that there has hnfin little to complain of about the summer climate." - "Oh, I --don't know," replied Mr. Growcher. "I don't think so much of a summer that keeps you thinking about coal bills and lee bills both lit once." Washington Star. Illusion.' "Bligglns is an impressive sort of person." "Yes, He's one of those peoplo who manage to have a superior manner mistaken for a superior mind." Wash ington Star. Kindly Explained. He Here Jones and I started in business together, and he has retired while I am still in the harness. She But then Jones isn't a mule. HOT WATER AND "ANURIC" BEFORE MEALS-AND HEALTH All people in America and especially I instructed us that in case of sicknens dependable those who are past middle age are prone to eat too much meat and In con sequence deposit lime-salts in their arteries, veins and joints. They often suffer from twinges of rheumatism or lumbago, sometime, from gout, swol len hands or feet Such people are not always able to exercise sufficient. ly in tne outdoor air or drink enough pure water in order to eweat freely and excrete Impurities thru the skin. Dr. Pierce has conducted exnerimenta and thoroughly tested a uric acid sol vent at bis invalids Hotel and Surgi cal Institute which he is convinced la many time, more potent than lithia tni he named "Anuric" It can be had at almost all drug stores by simply asking for Dr. Pierce's Anuric for kid ney, or backache. It will overcome suca conditions as rheumatism, dmn. ical .welling, cold extremities, scald ing and burning urine and sleepless ness due to constant need of eettine- ut of bed at night Our grandmother have told our Bothers and our mothers have la turn resort to Dr. Pierce's nousenoid prescriptions. These med- iviues as put up lor sale by druggists have never been recommended as "cure-airs," but only as superior rem edies for certain common and easily recognised diseases. Had these medi cines been adapted to all classes and forms of chronic diseases there would have been no necessity for organising a competent staff of expert physicians and surgeons, to act In the treatment of difficult, obscure and complicated cases of chronic diseases, as Dr. Pierce maintains in his Invalids' Hotel and Surgical Institute. Of hi a hnmA ram. edtea the most widely known are his "Favorite Prescription" for womanly troubles and run-down mnrlitlnna lu. eullar to the womanly sex; hi "Golden Medical Discovery," the greatest of all herbal system tonics and vitaliters, for stomach, liver and blood riinnnui-. . a. well as his "Pleasant Pellets," the tiny, tonic laxatives, overcoming con stipation and cleansing the system of poisons and accamulations in the bowels. .