ANNOUNCEMENT to our patrons
throughout the Pacific Northwest:
RSKr1 HOTE OREGON
hu teen placed under tha manwetnettt of
N. K. Clark. who wh for many yew
vOMiDoctod with tha Portland, Corneliaa
, and 3ward Hotal. and who will alwayi
extend to all a cordial welcome
Cosnmeaeinff November lit wa shall In-'
aua-urate the American plan in oonneetioa
with the uroptuw plan.
I We to licit your patronage. .
American Plan, $3 to $5 pr dy.
European Plan, $1 per up,
, ; N. K. CLARKE, Mgr.
NO MEDICINE
If you art ailing in anyway and want help,
write ma. DR. h. M. DAVIS, 12M Russel street,
Portland, Oregon. ... .
Beauty and Wealth $rXZ
attain both. Full instructions. Scores of valuable
formulas. Beautify yourself. Start a Beauty
Shop. Start manufacturing Beauty Specialties.
All of these opportunities ara open to you. Com
pleta system 11.00 per copy. Particulars FREE.
rurank specialty uo,, sua unam. t-ora.. roruana
"USE THE RIVER"
Dalles-Columbia Line
State of Washington, for The Dallas dally ex.
Sunday Up. m. Leave Dalles dally ex. Monday
It al. Steamers J. N. Teal. Inland Kmpira and
Twin Cities for Upper Columbia and Snake riyer
points. Taylor St Dock. Tel. Main 813.
WiWlstis CsUsa Brer Tswisg Ce, rVtlaai
V . A 8ubdued Vocalist .
; v "Pa, you sing bass In the choir;
don't you?" asked Bobby Smlthers.
''Yes, my son," replied Mr. Smith
ers. ' '
-Ana ma sings sopranor
"That's right."
"Well, there's one thing I don't un
derstand." "What Is It?"
"Mrs. Tompkins says yon sing
mighty big in public and mighty small
at home," ' , d
'- A Solution. V
"I see that the English newspapers
Anmnlaln tuwianaa t)ia Tlrltlah wnrlr.
?; lngman drinks a few glasses of beer
and then can't do anything else all
day." -
"Why In the world don't the English
government make a Christmas pres
ent ot a day's supply of that beer to
each German soldier?" Judge.
' Xmas Packages X,??.
:,- alms, Including post cards, folders, gift cards,
stickers, tags, seals and cutouts, making a repre
' ernteUve package which is a rant value at 10c.
Jackson Co., 121 Cham, of Com., Portland, Ore.
v The Entrance Out
' "What does 'exit' mean, mamma?"
asked small Edna, pointing to the
word over the door ot a moving-ptc-i
ture theater, '
"I knowl". exclaimed her little
brother, "It means the entrance 'but."
DERUNA
STANDARD FAMILY REMEDY
For Ordinary Grip;
For All Catarrhal Conditions;
For Prevention of Colds.
An Excellent Remedy
For The Convalescent;
' For That Irregular Appetite;
For Weakened Digestion.
Ever- Ready-to-Take
WILSON'S SOCIAL
SEASON TO BE GAY
Two Diplomatic Dinners Will Be
Given to Avoid Friction.
NEUTRALS Will BE GUESTS OF BOTH
Kitchen Philosophy,
Mr Bradshaw was In a great hurry
. and breakfast was late.
"I wish you'd find out what this
trouble is," he said to his wife.
Mrs. - Bradshaw returned from the
kitchen wearing a melancholy expres
sion. -
"Well, well," demanded the hus
band, "what did she say?"
"She said," responded the wife,
"that 'we all have our disappoint
ments.' "Browning's Magazine.
Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regu
late and invigorate stomach, liver and
bowels. Sugar-coated, tiny granules,
asy to take. Do not gripe.
Complete Failure.
"I read a joke the other day about
a man getting the last word with his
wife by bawling it up the speaking
tube as he went out the front door of
the apartment house."
"Tried It, eh? How did It work?"
"Didn't work. My wife must have
read the same Joke. 8he let a kettle
of soapsuds come down the tube Just
as I started to whistle up." Louisville
Courier-Journal.
Best Proof That
Resinol Heals Eczema
In our file of reports, covering a
period of twenty years, literally thou
salds of physicians tell how success
ful the Resinol treatment Is for ene
ma and similar skin troubles. The
first use of Resinol Ointment and
Resinol Soap usually stops the Itching
and burning, and they soon clear away
all trace of the eruption. No other
treatmont for the skin now before the
public can show such a record of pro
fessional approval.
Resinol Ointment and Resinol Soap
work so gently, and are so absolutely
free from anything that could Injure
even the tenderest skin, that they are
Ideal for healing the skin troubles of
infants and children, Sold by all
druggists, :
An Eya for the Future.
Goldsmith Would you like 1 any
name or motto engraved on It, sir?
- Customer (who has chosen an en
gagement ring) Ye-yes-um, Augus
tus to Irene. And ah look here,
don't ah look here, don't ah cut
Irene deep. London Punch.
For all external Injuries to horses,
cattle or sheep, apply Hanford's Bal
sam. Tou should always hate It on
hand for accidents. Adv.
Visitor What's that new structure
ou the hill there?
Farmer Well, If I find a tenant for
It, it's a bungalow; If I don't It's a
barn. Passing Show.
55
Valuable Formula. Trick. Illoilooa,
and Hwmbold Hlnta in our mterMiinf
inaiHirN lur two IIIUW, same
Complete f or
JexhBOft 4 Cm tZt Chamber el
vomneree. forUeAtl, Ore.
10c
t. ft. v.
No. . Mil
j yBgW WTiUag t arartalanrIaMa j
Allies' Turn to Come First; Germany,
, Austria and Turkey Second
Other Dinners to Follow.
Washington, D, C President Wil
son announced Monday a gay season
for the coming winter, lie and his
bride will be the host and hostess at
several receptions and dinners.
Among these dinners will be two
given for the diplomatic corps. Here
tofore only one dinner has been given.
That, however, was in time of peace,
when the British and German, the
Russam and the Austro-Hungarian,
the Turkish and Italian, and all the
other ambassadors representing the
two armed camps of Europe, were on
speaking terms, - To overcome the
present awkward situation, two din
ners will be given.
Here, again, the President. Is likely
to find himself in difficulties. Which
side Will be represented at the first
dinner? In other words, who will have
precedence? Again, who will be asked
to meet the allies, and who the tier
mans and AuBtro-Hungarlans? -
The State department has careful
ly studied, this question. The dean of
the diplomatic corps Is Mr. Jusserand,
the French ambassador. Naturally,
he muBt be Invited to the first func
tion. This means that invitations
must be extended also to the British
ambassador, the Russian ambassador,
the Japanese ambassador, and the
Italian ambassador.
The understanding Is that the repre
sentatives of all the neutral nations
will be invited at the same time.
The second dinner will be given with
Count Bernstorff, the German ambas
sador, as the gueBt of honor. His col
leagues of Austria-Hungary, Turkey
and Bulgaria likewise will be Invited.
In order that no untoward questions
shall develop, the representatives of
all the neutral nations will be aBked
for the second time to dine at the
White House.
Here is the official program of the
receptions and dinners which the Pres
ident and Mrs. Gait have arranged;
January, 7, Friday, Pan-American
reception. ...
January 11, Tuesday, Cabinet din
ner. January 21, Friday,' diplomatic din
ner, January 25, Tuesday, diplomatic
dinner.
February 4, Friday, ' judicial recep
tion. February 8, Tuesday, Supreme court
dinner.
February 18, Friday, Congressional
reception.
February 22, Tuesday, Speaker's
dinner.
March 8, Friday, Army and Navy
reception.
Dynamite Placed to Kill Archbold,
President of Standard Oil Co.
Tarrytown, N. Y. A plan to kill
John D. Archbolod, president of the
Standard Oil company of New Jersey,
was frustrated by the finding of a dy
namite bomb in the wheel rut of a
roadway on his estate here leading
from the financier's home, in the opin
ion of Chief of Police Bowles.
The bomb consisted of four sticks of
dynamite, with wires and percussion
caps, and Chief Bowles said he be
lieved the plan was to blow up Mr.
Archbold in his automobile as he was
riding over what is known as the south
roadway from his home.
The dynamite, wire and caps were
wrapped In dark yellow paper.
Chief Bowles said it was all so ar
ranged that the slightest impact would
explode the bomb. -
The bomb was found Saturday, but
the fact did not become known until
Monday, when Mr. Archbold Issued in
structions to increase the number of
guards about the estate.
Liberty Bell in Danger.
Paducah, Ky. Safety of the Liberty
Bell was threatened Sunday when fire
swept a warehouse near the spot where
the train bearing the relic waa aide
tracked. The blaze threatened to
reach a 600,000-gallon oil tank across
the street High wind fanned the
flames In the opposite direction.
Memphis As a result of excitement
Incident to the Liberty Bell parade
here, Mrs. Emily Crane, 87, collapsed
and died while being placed in an am
bulance. Two Confededrate veterans
fainted in the line of march.
Christmas Rush Is Near.
Washington, D. C Postmaster Gen
eral Burleson is organizing for the
Christmas rush. He gave these direc
tions to postmasters : Advertise that
parcels should be mailed early to avoid
the rush. They can bear the words
'Not to be opened until Christmas.'
"Put on extra carriers, provide push
carts, bicycles, motorcycles, wagons or
automobiles as necessary.
"Do not work clerks overtime to the
point of hardship. Do not overlook
the fact that this year's Christmas bus
iness will be the largest ever known."
Deportation Is Ordered.
New York A special board of In
quiry of the Bureau of Immigration
Monday ordered the deportation of Pro
fessor Elia Volpi, of Florence, Italy,
and his secretary, Mm. Lisetta Moro
sino, who arrived here two days ago
on the Italian liner Daca Deglia Ab-
ruzzi, from Genoa. Professor Volpi,
who says he has brought paintings
valued at f 500,000 with bim, will ap
peal to Washington. Professor Volpi
JJ Bu years old and bis secretary Is 25.
SON, ONCE THOUGHT DEAD, v
HOME AGAIN; PARENTS COLLAPSE
Oregon City, Or. Charles Sturgis,
42 years old, - who disappeared two
years ago'after escaping from the in
sane asylum at Salem, and whose body
some months ago supposedly was bur
ied by his parents, walked into the
home of his aging parents at Canby
Tuesday night, a rejuvenated and ap
parently a rational man.
- The shock was so severe that bis
father and mother both collapsed on
hearing the news and before they
could see or welcome him.
The sister who opened the door to
the long-lost and mourned son was able
to receive the brother; as gently as
possible broke the news to the parents
and put the younger Sturgis to bed be
fore she, too, gave way under the
strain,
- The return of Charles Sturgis vindi
cates the aged mother's intuition often
expressed in the last few weeks that
her son was not dead. She often
feared that they bad buried the wrong
PRINCE LUB0MIRSKI
DEFECTIVE INFANT
PERMITTED TO DIE
Prince Lubomlrskl, a Polish noble
man of pro-German tendencies, has
been mads governor of the province
of Warsaw by the kaiser, whose arm-
lea now hold possession of that re
gion.
body and expressed a vague feeling
that some day "Charley" would re
turn. Only comparatively recently,
after patient waiting for the son to re
turn, had she appeared to accept bis
death as certain.
In May a body, on which was cloth
ing silmilar to that worn by Sturgis
when he was last seen, was found on
the outskirts of Eugene. Word was
sent to the man's parents and a rela
tive went to the university city and
there identified the body as that of
Charley Sturgis.
The body was returned to Canby and
the funeral services were duly per
formed on May 17 over the body sup
posed to be that of the lost son.
Ban on All Luxuries Urged
for Economy Throughout England
London The campaign for economy
in living as a vital necessity for finan
cing the war, which Is coating Great
Britian nearly 826,000,000 a day, con
tinues to be pressed. Imports are ex
ceeding exports by nearly 85,000,000
a day and consequently depreciating
foreign exchange, so that England
really pays about 5 per cent more than
the nominal prices for commodities
bought in America. Restriction of
imports is urge as one of the most ob
vious practical methods of economy.
Some papers, notably the Morning
Post, demand a high tariff on Imports
and one so framed that the colonies
will have preference through the di
verting of business from the United
States to them. Thus the British Em
pire must live on its own resources, so
far as foodstuffs are concerned, the
Post contends, and spend its money
among its own people as Germany is
doing. '
Lord Devonport, who has had long
experience as a successful business
man, told the House of Lords the im
port of non-esBential things through
the Port of London alone reached
$126,000,000 a year.
474 More Officers Die.
London Officers' casualty lists for
the fortnight ending October 25 show
that the British army, in all theaters
of the war, lost 474 officers killed,
837 wounded and 147 missing, a total
of 1458, which brings the casualties
since the beginning of the war to 19,
668. Of this 6033 have been killed,
11,957 wounded and 1683 recorded as
missing. Losses have again been
heavy among officers of high rank, Ma
jor General Wing and Brigadier Gener
al Wormald being killed and Brigadier
General Bruce Is missing.
Knife In Woman Eight Months.
Chicago Mrs. Elizabeth Hochsber-
ger was right and doctors wrong, as
she proved Tuesday. Eight month ago
Mrs. Hochsberger had typhoid fever.
She recovered, but her stomach did not
feel right. Finally It dawned upon her
in a dim way that during her delirium
of fever she had swallowed a table
knife. Physicians had something to
say of the imaginations of nervous
women. They told her to forget It,
An X-ray photograph ahowed a 10-inch
knife in the lower stomach. Mrs.
Hochberger will be operated on.
Economy Rolls Britons.
London Wooden spills In the place
of matches, penny wooden penholders
Instead of the quills so dear to British
officialdom and a few envelopes and odd
sheets of note paper Instead of unlim
ited supplies, gave a surprise to mem
bers of parliament, who are accus
tomed to utilise the houses of parlia
ment SB a club. In reply to angry pro-
testa, the attendants explained that
thia was the first step in the direction
of national economy.
Death Sentence Is Praised' Also
Severely Criticised.
MOTHER OF DEFORMED BABE IS FIRM
Doctor Who Condemned It Declared
Tot Would Be Great Sufferer
and Burden All Its life." '
Chicago The Bollinger baby, a de
fective, whose mother, on' professional
advice, decided it should not undergo
an operation which probably would
have saved its life, died Thursday at
the German-American hospital here,
The child was baptized with the
name of John shortly before its death
Mrs. Bollinger was not immediately
informed of the death of the baby.
The subject of the propriety of the
sacrificing the life of the infant, that
it might not grow up a burden to itself
and a possible menace to society, was
the subject of widespread discussion.
Dr. H. J. Haiselden, on whose ad
vice the mother acted, was visited by
many medical men and telephone callB
alternately accused and praised him.
He remained unaltered in his convic
tion that death was the greatest bless
ing which could be hoped for.
The principal physical deformities
of he baby were the closure of the in
testinal tract, paralysis of the nerves
of the right side of the face, the ab
sence of the right ear, blindness of
one eye and malformation of its shoul
ders. Dr. Haiselden, who officiated at
the birth, noted the absence of a neck.
The brain be found to be only slightly
subnormal, but the cranial nerves were
absent or undeveloped.
If he grew up he would be a hope
less cripple and would suffer from
fits," said the doctor, before the child
died.
"Would his mind be clear? Would
his soul be normally alive?" one of
the visitors asked. ..
"That I do not know, but the
chances are against It."
Dr. John B. Murphy, ex-president of
the American Medical association, and
physicians and professional men and
women, including several clergymen,
generally took sides with Dr. Haisel
den. But his critics were just as
numerous. -Mrs.
Anna Bollinger, the mother,
remained in a room nearby. Many
times she asked :
"Is it dead?"
She remained steadfast in her belief
that death was best for the little one.
She has three healthy children and the
plight of the condemned one is be
lieved to have been due to an attack
of typhoid fever which the mother
Buffered recently.
The authorities took no action fur
ther than to determine that no death
certificate should be issued until after
an investigation by the coroner.
Serbian Armies Almost
Surrounded by Bulgarians
London The fact that the Balkan
situation, both military and diplo
matic, is disquieting, if not critical, is
believed In London to have led to the
visit of the British prime minister, M.
Asquith, David Lloyd George and A.
J. Balfour to Paris for a conference
with the French cabinet and General
JofFre, the French commander-in-chief.
The main Serbian army, which is
operating under General Putnik in the
north, is now encompassed on every
side but one, and, being cut off from
the south by the Bulgarian advance
beyond Tetovo, must depend on the
rough roads through Montenegro and
Albania for any supplies from the sea.
In the south the Serbian position is
almost as bad. The success of the
Bulgarian flanking attack on Babuna
Pass and the advice from Veles have
prevented the hoped-for junction of
the Sebrian and French forces. This
leaves the Serbians only two lines of
retreat, one Into Albania, where they
may be harassed by unfriendly tribes,
and the other the Greek border, where
they are in danger of being disarmed
and interned. -,"...
Young American la Free. ''.
New York Friends of Wolfgang C.
Trlest, a New York contractor, re
ceived word from London that Mr
Trtest's son, Kenneth W. Tries t, form
erly a Princeton student, will be re
leased from the British detention camp
at Chatham and will start for Ameri
ca with his father. Young Triest ran
away from Princeton and enlisted in
the British navy, waa arrested as a
German spy and was saved from pos
sible execution through representation
by the State department that he waa
not responsible tor his actions, .
Social Leaders to Nurse.
Chicago Twenty women prominent
in Chicago society have organized an
emergency Red Cross nursing corps
and begun a course of training for the
work that army nurses must do. Not
only la it their purpose to be ready at
a moment's notice should the United
States need their services, but in ease
of a disaster similar to the Iroquois
fire or Eastland steamer disaster they
will be ready to supplement the serv
ices of the hospital nurses. Arrange
ments have been made with one of the
huge hospitals for instructions.
446 Receiving Pensions.
New York Pensions amounting to
$674,000 were distributed to 445 pro
fessors or widows of professors by the
Carnegie Foundaion in the last year,
according to a report made at the tenth
annual meeting of the trustees Thurs
day.
The general endowment fund now
was reported to be $14,882,000 and the
income for the year $712,000. Twenty-
eight allowances were terminated by
death and 43 were added to the list
SJflDTUUfCCT MIDuTT DCDflDTC" !
numilMLiii Minima. i iili unitif
GENERAL CROP CONDITIONS
Portland Wheat Bluestem, 95c
bushel; forty-fold, 94c; club, 92c; red
Fife, 89c; red Russian, 89c. -
Millfeed Spot prices: Bran, $24
ton; shorts, $26; rolled barley, $30
81. " ' '
Com White, $36 ton; cracked, $37.
Hay Eastern Oregon timothy, $16
16; valley timothy, $1218; alfalfa,
$13.6014.60; cheat, $9 10; oats
and vetch, $1112. ' . '
Vegetables Artichokes, 75c$l per
dozen; tomatoes, $11.26; cabbage.
90c hundred; garlic, 16c pound; pep
pers; 46c; egg plant, 46c; sprouts,
89c; horseradish, 8Jc; cauliflower,
76c$1.26 dozen; celery, 60 76c;
beans, 88,c; lettuce, $2.262.50
crate. .
Green Fruits Apples, 76cJ1.76
box;. pears, $11.60; grapes, 85c
$1.85 crate; casabaa, lie pound; cran
berries, $9.5010.60 barrel. '
1 Potatoes Oregon, 90c$l; Yaki
mas, $1.10 per sack; sweets, $1.902
per hundred. ,
Onions Oregon, buiyng price, $1 f.
o. b. shipping points. .
Eggs Oregon ranch, buying prices:
No. 1, 40c dozen; No. 2, 80c; No. 8,
20c. Jobbing prices: No. 1, 42c doz. ;
Oregon storage, 2628c
Poultry Hens,, Hl13Je pound;
springs, 18 13jc; turkeys, 18c;
dressed, 2223c; ducks, white, 14
16c; colored, 12c; geese, 10llc. . .
Butter City creamery,' cubes, ex
tras, selling at 81 Jc pound; firsts, 29c;
print and cartons, extra. . Prices paid
to producers; Country creamery, 24
28c; butter fat, premium quality, 83c;
No. 1, average quality, 81c; No. 2,
29c.
Veal Fancy, 1010Jc pound.
Pork Block, 7,8c pound.
Hops 1916 crop, 1012jc pound.
Wool Eastern Oregon, 1826c
pound; valley, 2626c; fall Iambs'
wool, 26c; mohair, Oregon, 28c pound.
Cascara Bark Old and new, 8J4c
pound.
Apple and Potato Crop Big.
The average yield, all crops, per
acre in the Pacific Coast states made a
very favorable showing, according to
a government crop report just issued.
The comparison is made with the aver
age yields of recent years and is
shown in percentage as follows:
Oregon, 100.4; Washington, 104.3;
Idaho, 97.9; California, 103.8. '
In its detailed report on the Amer
ican apple crop, the department says:
"The apple production for local and
farms, as well as commerical consump
tion, as reported November 1, 76,670,-
000 barrels, more than confirms the
earlier promise of a large crop. Tbe
crop is approximately 8,000,000 bar
rels less than laBt year's bumper crop,
but 18,000,000 barrels above the five
year average.
Of the American potato crop the
government report says :
"The estimates of potato yield show
a decline of 2.8 bushels per acre from
the promise of a month ago. The es
timated yield of 96.3 bushels indicates
a total ctod of -859.000.000 bushels.
47,000,000 bushels, less than the large
crop of last year, sad 8,000,000 bush
els greater than the five-year average.
Hog Market Good. v
In general price conditions of swine
In Portland are unchanged, Catle
values are quoted steady with- demand
for good quality. Sheep, are firm;!
The undertone of the hog market is
inclined to be weak in view : of the
large receipts of late, j but a -smaller
run is looked for thiB week "than last.
Commenting a the marketing, of
swine, the Livestock Reporter Bays-, ;
"For the period from November 1 to
November 13 there has been nearly'
100 per . cent , gain made in the mar
keting. This period last- year the
total receipts were 11,779, this year
for the same period 22,642, a net gain
of 10,763. For the year to November
13, 1914, there were received 188,471
and the same period this year 220,267,
a gain to November 13 for the year of
81,796, which is a very substantial in
crease and reflects in the very beat
way the popularity of the Portland
market It looks aa if the total re
ceipts for 1915 at the end of this
month will more than equal the total
receipts of hogs for the entire year of
1914." ,
Centralia to Get Big Corporation.
Centralis, Wash. The Prundential
Savinga & Loan association, a $2, 000,
000, corporation, is being organized
here by L. M. Holden, of Seattle, a
man experienced in this line of work,
who just completed the organization of
the Grays Harbor Savings & Loan
association. George Barner, clerk of
the school board, will be secretary of
the organization and ten prominent
men of the city will be numbered
among the incorporators. The new
company will operate in nine counties
in Southwest Washington. . -
Benton Hogs Grow Fast.
Kennewick, Wash. Within the past
3 years the growth of tbe hog industry
in this section has been marvelous.
With the advent of the doctrine of di
versity of crops, about five years ago,
the hog industry has been growing un
til now there are literally thousands of
hogs produced in Benton county where
hundreds were not grown before. The
problem confronting the growers of
swine in this section, and which is
threatening to destroy the industry,
however, is not how to produce hogs,
but how to market them.
Storage Butter and Egg Stocks.
The national Warehousemen 'a re
port, representing 46 large warehouses
of the country, shows that November
1 there were 77,913,000 pounds of
butter in the freezers against 64,478,
000 pounds the same date a year ago;
an increase of 23,436,000 pounds.
The holdings of eggs November 1
were 2,826,000 eases against 2,88,000
cases the same data a- year ago; an
increase of 483,000 cases.
Oregon Hop Market Is Quiet.
There has been a slowing down of
trading in the Oregon hop market this
week, and dealers are not so disposed
to outbid one another aa was the ease
a few days ago. The only repoted
dealings were in the Yakima section.
behind
the dough
, You may use an old favorite recipe and the best of materials and make it
carefully, the oven may be just right, yet you will have a failure if
"Hie Power behind the Dough" is not the right one to leaven it properly
and make a light, digetuble, wholesome.
Good baking without good baking powder is out of the question.
A. l0aajifuT rowder has wonderful learning power, and the double actual
i uo dowi and in laa oTen males good results doubly i
Tak no chancmt of fcihmtum KC
ana nave "good luck" mvmry timm. ,
m au orocora.
V
No Longer Responsible. "V .;
The dangers of travel by sea at this
time have played havoc with the
nerves of timid passengers.
Early one. morning recently there
was considerable commotion on the
decks of a coastwise vessel plying be
tween Savannah and Baltimore, when
a scantily clad man hurried from his
stateroom and dashed toward the up
per deck. On the way he ran Into
the captain of the vessel.
"What's the matter, captain?" he
managed to gasp. "Hare we been tor
pedoed?". - - . .' -'
"Calm yourself, my dear sir, and be
prepared for the worst," answered the
official.
"Oh, don't -tell me we're going
down!" moaned the other. "Quick,
where are the life preservers?"
"They wouldn't be of any service at
this stage," explained the captain. -
"Too late?" quavered the despair
ing passenger.
"Yes," said the captain, solemnly.
"We've done all we can for you. You'll
have to look out for yourself from now
on. You see, we've just tied up to
the dock."
In treating wounds containing dirt,
always wash them out with warm soft
water and castile soap, drying before
applying Hanford's Balsam of Myrrh.
Adv. . . ,
T No Warning. "
Petro had drifted down to Florida
and was working with a gang at rail
road construction. He had been told
to beware of rattlesnakes, but assured
that they would always give the warn
ing rattle before striking.
One hot day he was eating his noon
luncheon on a pine log when he saw
a big rattler colled a few feet in front
of him. He eyed the serpent and be
gan to lift his legs over the log. He
barely got them out of the way when
the snake's fangs hit the bark beneath
him.
"Sun of guna!" yelled Petro, "why
you no ringa da bell?"..
Hare Healthy, Strong, Beautiful Xyes
Oculleta and Fhraiclana need. Murine Eye.
iKemedj man jeara before It was offered aa e
Domeatlo K;e Medlelue. Murloe la 8U11 Com
pounded by Our Phyatelana and guaranteed
bs them a Sellable Belief for Erea that Need
Care. Trj it In your Byea and In Baby's Kyea
No Smarting Juat Kre Comfort, Buy Murine
of your Drug friet accept no Substitute, and If
Interested write Book of tbe Eye Free.
atUJMXa BXJ1 KKMaCUI CO, CUICA.OO
Illuminating Comparison. - '
She entered the department store
and complained about a lamp she had
purchased, demanding that It be taken
back. !, j
"What's the matter with it mad
am?" ' -
"It has all the faults of my husband,
and none of his virtues.'!.
- m i i i , i," , ;
. , v xiouiHa BAymiu yuurnrii. r, -n ..
'."Well, it has a good dear-oj brass
about it; it is remarkably brilliant;
requires a great deal of attention; la
unsteady on its-legs, flares up occa
sionally; Is' always out at bedtime,
and Is bound to smoke."
. ' .... ' ' 1 i. -- , i-:
WRITP ?T0RIFfl For MoyingvWctures." Pro-
rtiuic aiuiuo! dUM pay from to ll00
each' for Photoplay,- interesting and fascinating.
No experience necessary. Work in spare time.
Pull particulars Free. Purack Specialty Co.. 828
Chamber of Commerce. Portland, Ore.
''-'- Polite Substitution. .'
"what makes you keep sayln', 'Oh,
War! - Oh, War!'" asked the paper
hanger. , . ..L
"Don't you know a synonym when
you hear It?" asked the man who had
just moved Into a new house.
"Is that one?" . 'l
"Certainly. Everybody knows what
war is. I just hit my thumb with a
hammer and, I dasn't use profanity
around the house." Washington Star.
Hanford's Balsam has been success
fully used since 1846. As a liniment
for domestic animals It Is unsurpassed.
Adv. ' -r. . ' .,'
- Proves Itself, i
"You must never forget my boy,
that about one-third of all success Is
pure luck." .
"But how can you make sure of this
luck?" . -
"Why, by being successful,"
An Expert
"That new coach of ours Is one of
the greatest football strategists In the
world."
"How do you make that out? The
team hasn't won a game this year."
'"I know, but he can think up more
reasons why we don't win than any
man I ever saw."
In Fashion.
"I have never owned any automo
biles," said the man who hadn't yet
paid for his home, "but I can aay one
thing In praise ot them."
. "What Is that?" Inquired Hender
son. "They have made mortgages re
spectable." Judge.
. Congressmsn Takes Money.
Patrolman Patrick J. Walsh of the
South Englewood station, Chicago,
was looking for some young trees to
plant around his bungalow. Near
there he came across a man clad in
khaki, seemingly a laborer,, hard at
work, in a grove.
."I'd like to have a few of these
young trees," said Walsh.
"Help yourself," replied the man in
khaki.
. Walsh uprooted several trees. He
said he would like to leave them there
until tomorrow, and the other replied
that would be all right.
"Fine!" exclaimed : Walsh. "For
whom shall I ask?" and -he handed a
quarter to the man In khaki.
"James R. Mann."
Representative Mann of the Second
Illinois congressional district, minori
ty leader in tbe house, pocketed the
quarter as a souvenir.
became the entire tyntem
become permeated with
injurious acids.
To relieve rheumatism Scott's
Emulsion is a double help; it is
rich in blood-food; it imparts
strength to the functions and sup
plies the very oil-food that rheu
matic conditions always need.
Scott's Emulsion has a.
helped countless thousands jgg,
when other remedies failed.
He Alcohol
t-ts
Refnat Substitutes.
- Well Supplied. "
"I'll take two cards," said the man
on the right of the dealer.
"Three for me," said the next man.
The dealer gave each one what he
had asked for and then picked up his
own hand and looked It over.
"I've got enough," he announced as
he cast a proprietary look en the chips
in the middle of the table. --
"I should say you have got enough,"
remarked tbe man opposite. ."Count
ing me two you ve. got up your sieeve
and the three that are sticking out of
your shoe, it looks to me as if you've
got enough to play the game all by
yourself. But before you do so I'm
sure you won't mind If the rest of us
take our chips out of this jackpot."
If your horse- goes lame, rub on and
rub la thoroughly Hanford's Balsam,
Ad.; .'-' '.'.. ,' v '
' v.-'i.a .
iy, . A. Careless Person. .
lawyer Judge;! want you to fine
this man who was knocked down by
my client's car.
v Judge Fine him? ! Why?
: Lawyer He had a nail In his
clothes and it punctured a new tire.
Topeka Journal.
. - . ,'i Perfectly Willing.
"That boy of ours Is a lazy, good-for-nothing
loafer," growled the head
of the family. "He doesn't seem to
Want to do anything at all." ' .
"Why, Father!" said the boy's moth
er, reproachfully, "you do Alfred an
injustice. You know as well as I do
that he said if you'd buy an automo
bile he'd be only too glad to drive it."
Letusteltyou FREE of ti new ways to make
money. It may be the beginning' of Snancial in
dependence. Address, Purack Specialty Co., 828
Chamber of Commerce. Portland, Ore. ;
. Quite Likely.
"I can't understand it," said the fair
customer in the shoe store. "You say
these are No. 4s, and they pinch
dreadfully. The pair I had before
wo and they never jrave me any
trouble." '
"i-eruaps the 3s were marked
down," suggested the salesman. .
When a. horse is calked in deep
snow, apply Hanford's Balsam ot
Myrrh. Jt will quickly, relieve. Adv.
Horrible Mistake.
The New Maid If you please, mum,
these flowers come for you w'en you
was out, an' I put 'em In water.
The Mistress Good heavena, girl!
What have you done? Why, that's
my new hat! London Sketch.
Scares 'em.
"How eld you get rid of that life
Insurance agent so quickly?"
"Oh, I'm always prepared for those
fellows. I keep a large bottle ot cod
liver oil in plain sight on my desk,
and when an agent calls I greet htm
with a hollow cough."
Nervous
Emotional
Dizzy
Mr. Addh Outalmgtr. t
CtlKrSt.,CsJm,UL,wT9ia
Dtxtor Pitwe m Miwwtt
"I Mod tl emts ito ytmr oRaw
man Smn Mtdkal A4fiwt' for
my dauchlcr who baa racmtlr
married and I know thflboofcwil)
bonfBiachTmlatD ber. Ihava
nadand wad f4M jwari tb
raluabla tMtnanta 4
la tha Madieal Attrtaar and
hava tekan man? bottka of Dr. :
Ptareaa Farorita Prasnptkm.
and ha v baaa Tattered tonaaltk
each Una I used it. Utaagraat
rcfiwdy tof wuratfi aa a ertyaujria
builder. Site for tbe ana and
general kaaltk."
X1TOMEN who are restless, with
constant change of position, ' fidget
iness," who are abnormally excitable or who
experience fainting or dizzy spells, or nervous
headache and wakefulness are usually sufferers
from the weaknesses of their sex.
PIERCES
Favorite Prescription
b the soothing, cordial and womanly tonic that
brings about an invigorating calm to the nervous
system. Overcomes the weakness and tbe drag,
gins; pains which resemble the paina of rheu
matism. Thousands of women in the past forty
"years can bear, witness to its benefits. .
Tour dealer ta aeeulcmea sens ft re Bonk or sugar
naked tablet form; or you eaa aend GOone-cent etamps
for a trad box of Dr. Pierce's Fararile Prescription
tablets. Addreao Dr. V. M. Pierce. Invalids' Hotel
Bad Surgical Institute, Buffalo. M. T.
hiiimminiNiiniiiiiuiiiHiiuniiiiiiiuiiininiiiiiiruiii
Dr. Korea's neaaaat PeBsts Keralals aaj brirarala
Slsisrk, User mi Bewela, Segsr -Cotes' Tar CraaeUs.
IIIUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIUIIIIIIIIHIIIIIIIIHIIIIIIPB