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About The Athena press. (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 19, 1915)
9 :: 1 . 7 ANNOUNCEMENT to our pitroni throughout tha Pacific North treat: HOTEL OREGON PORTLAND'S fltfULU. Yiu been placed under th manure merit of H. X, Clarke. Who was for many yean connected with the Portland, Cornelius and Seward Hotels, and who will always extend te all a cordial welcome. Commencing' November 1st we shall In-ftng-nrate tlia American plan in coawectton with the European plan. , We solicit your patronage. American Plan, $3 to $5 per day. European Plan, 91 per day up. N. It. CLARKE, Mgr. "USE THE RIVER" Dalles-Columbia Line State of Washington, for The Dalles dally ex Sunday 11 p. m. Leave Dalles daily ex. Monday UK. Steamers J. H. Teal, Inland Empire and Twin Cities for Upper Columbia and Snake river points. Taylor St Dock. Tel. Main 613. nOisjattt aJ Until Bnw Trisj Cs- PiriuJ. 55 Valuable Formulas. Tricks. Illusions. and Household. Hints in our Interesting magazine for two issues. Bent Com Diet for Jaekeoa A Co.. 828 Chamber Commerce, Portland, Ore. pidc NO MEDICINE If you sr. ailing In anyway, and want help, write m.. DR. h. H.DAVIS, I2.V1 Russel surest, Portland, Oregon, "Some of the grandest discoveries of tha ages," said the great scientist, sonorously, "have been the result of accidents," i -s "I can readily believe that," said the fair lady. "I once made one that way myself." .. , The great man blinked his amaze ment. "May I ask what It was?" ."Certainly," answered the fair one. "I found that by keeping a bottle of Ink handy you can use a fountain pen Just like any other pen without all the trouble of filling it." Christian Register. . , -tr jj'," You Can Get Rid of That Itching Rath There la Immediate relief for skins Itching, burning and disfigured by eczema, ringworm, or similar torment lng skin-trouble, In a warm bath with Resinol Soap and a simple application or Kesinoi ointment. The soothing. healing Resinol medication sinks right into the skin, stops itching instantly. ana soon clears away all trace of erup tion, even In severe and stubborn cases where other treatments have had no effect After that, the regular use ot Kesinoi soap is usually enough to Keep the skin clear and healthv. You need never hesitate to use Rest nol. It Is a doctor's prescription that has been used by other physicians for years in the treatment ot all sorts of skin affections. It contains absolute ly nothing that could Injure the ten- derest skin. Every druggist sells Res inol Ointment and Resinol Soap. The Light That Failed. The audience held their breath and simply thr-r-r-llled as Jack Braveboy, the hero, killed the last of the Indians. He staggered about; he almost fainted with loss of blood. Then he gazed about him. and sud denly his voice rang out with hope: see!" he cried. "The dawn breaks bright upon yon topmost heights!" The stage remained in darkness. "See!" he yelled again. "The dawn breaks bright upon yon topmost heights!" : . Still darkness reigned. "The dawnl The dawn!" he scream ed, raging about the stage. "It breaks, The dawn." A head popped over the mountain top: 'Old 'ard. guv-nor!" said the head. "Don't be in slch a bloomin' 'urry! some one s Din an' turned the gas OK!" Tlt-BltS. t YlRAS PaCan0?0, Our package contain. 88 pieces . --q Q. L,nriHtmas and holtdAV nnv- eltlee. Including- poet card., folders, gift card.. stickers, tag., seals and cutouts, making a repre sentative package which I. a ram value at Ifh. w'ackson (Jo., 828 Unam. of Com., Portland, Ore, Lumber, Shingles, Lath, Moaldiof. Doors, Windows and other Building Ma terial from , Sam Connell Lumber Co. Portland, Oregon. Send us a list of what you require for your buildings and we will name you prices delivered at your station and Guarantee to save you Honey. Bravery. The teacher had been reading to the class about the heroes ot ancient times. 'Can any boy in the class tell of a deed of daring performed by one of hia acquaintances?" she asked as she closed the book. Raymond's hand shot up. "Well, Raymond." 1 ' "I saw the first baseman of our team (ire the big bootblack on the corner a wallop on the Jaw." 80 To Speak. "How's that young man I see calling on you lately?" "He's, a pill, but he brings me lots of candy." "Trying to sugar-coat himself, as It were." Louisville Courier-Journal. ' , Pained Hit Thrifty Soul. "Ye'll excuse me, captain," said O'Harrlty, addressing the commander of the battleship, "but is ut thrue that ut coBts aivln hundred dollars to fire wan 0' thlm big guns?" "Yes, O'Harrlty," said the captain. "Why do you ask?" "01 fought 01 might save yez some inuney, sorr, earn O'Harrlty. "Sure, and OI'll fire 'em for yes for tin," New York Ttimes. . ", SCmto While Yo Walk. Uen,01ai.trt7lSb7.yY. " , Paw's Version. Willie Paw, Is it proper to say that a man was given in marriage? Paw No, my son. A girl is given in marriage. The man alwava eetn sold. Maw Willie, you go out in the back yard and stay there. Milwaukee Sen tinel. PLOTS OF GERMANS WILL BE PURSUED President Wilson Determined to End Teutonic Schemes. AGENTS HIGHER UP SOUGHT BY U. S. Ambassador Count Von Bernstorff Is Under Suspicion Demand for Recall of Nuber Possible. Washington, D. C President Wil son has determined to put an end to the activities of Teutonic agents In the United States, By his direction, the department of Justice and the Secret Service are co operating to secure the nceessary proof to punish the men caught in projects which endanger the peace and safety 01 the country. More important, how- ever, is the President's direction that the search shall be continued for those "higher up." - As soon as he is in possession of all the facta, Mr. Wilson will take steps to stop the pernicious activity of diplomats and consular offi cers who are directing the work of de stroying munitions factories, ships and other enterprises. If the President carries bis intention to its conclusion, and the charges now on file should be substantiated, it would surprise no one should this gov ernment request Austria-Hungary to recall Herr von Nuber, its consul gen eral in New York. Count von Bernstorff, the German ambassador, has been under suspicion for months, but in the absence of proof it is clearly impossible to take anv 11 11 u vi vu u, duoer, pay from 12S to 100 au. ,w niutupiar.. interesting and fascinating. No experience necessary. Work In spare time. Full particulars Free. Purack Specialty Co., m uukuu.1 v. wviamierce, i-uruanu, uro. Born Diplomat. "Harry, I am beginning to believe the baby looks like you," "Are you, dear?" . "Yes, I notice it more and more every day. I'm so glad." "Do you really want htm to look like me?" , "Of course I do. I've been sorry ever since we had him christened that we didn't give him your name." "Sweetheart, you dou't know how happy you make me by saying that." "And, Harry dear, I found the love liest hat today. I don't believe I ever saw anything that was so becoming to me. It's $26. Do you think I ought to pay that much for a hat?" . . A Superfluous Question. "In that now sorvant girl," said Mr. Testy, as he discovered the sugar in the salt shaker, "It seems to me you have found the possessor of stupidity In its unadulterated double distilled form. May I ask where you obtained her?" "Why," replied Mrs. Testy, "at the intelligence office, of course." Judge. C. Gee Wo Sarceaifal Hobm Remedial Rls successful herb. I remedlee cure all kinds of ailments of men and women with out operation, used from the wonderful Chinese herha. nuI, bud. and vegetablee. which are unknown to the medical science of thin country. Wrile for blank and circulars. Send stamp. CONSULTATION FKBK. AddresT Tie C Gee Wo Chinese Medicine Co. Wlrs First St. Portland. Ore. Mention Paper, HOWARD K BOKTOn - Awer ana Chemist Lesdiille. Colon-do. Spwilmon prlceet Gold. Silver. Laid, U. Cold, Silver, I601 Gold, 6O01 Zlu or Copper. 11. Mailing envelope, ajjd f ull prioellet ff" on application. Control and Umpire work an Hotted. Ileferaneei OaiboneU MatUjnal Bank, Hia Vocation Clear. Young Arthur, the pride of his Bea con street home, had been attending school all of six weeks, and his devot ed parent thought It was high time he should find out how things were run ning, so ne asked one afternoon "And what did my little son learn anout tnis morning?" "Oh, a mouse. Miss Wilcox told us an aDout mouses. "That's the boy. Now, how do you spell mouse?" It was then that Arthur gave prom ise ot entering me diplomatic service. He paused meditatively for a moment, men earn: "Father, I guess I was wrong, it wnu 1 mouse teacher was us about; It was a rat." telling T VM . n . wr, rierce s reueta. amn 1 an,. coated, easy to take as candy, regulate nnit .1 1- 1 r P . ..ivigviatc aiuitincn, uver ana Dow els and cure constipation. No Worse. 'Say, old man. lend me ten dollars. wm yuur 'Why should I? You'd onlv hnv whisky with it." What if I do? You subscribed to the war loan, didn't you?" "I don't see what that's got to do with It." "Do you think it's any worse to lend me money to buy whisky with than to lend money to the allies to spend on auun sum ammuniuonr An Ingenious 8oul. ouuieri entered tne din nsr rnnm with a pair of yellow automobile gog- "Hello, Blithers." said llttla ninv. uuing motonngl ' "no," said Blithers "I'm ., nungry tor a grapefruit, and I want to aeep ine juice out of my eye." Blame the Elephant Customer (annoyed) I wiah in . turn me paper-cutter. It is not lvorv. ma wii VBUiiititl, viarc not ivory, madam? t iwn'r understand that, unless the elephant ubu taiae teem. Boston Transcript 1 1 ' f -. A POSITION FOR YOU nrurv? TRAINED- HOLM La Treintnc mMiw UONKY, POSITION. M tmon u you can prapu (or it. POWKK. Thfr tra S337 REASONS WHY Y01I Hnnt,D ATTKNn Hnl Mir. Eight thousand two hundred twenty-seven saUsded student, have passed through HOLMES during ltotuttoj$& year.. Hundreds of them are now successful business men with Independent inromea. Our (ruinate, .tart at salariee ranrlmr from ,4010,100 . month. Writ, fo, ..ulogoT aNOW Holmes Business College "Tht School thai gils you a good position." Wusiartai sj Tank, hruW, Or. r i .in MEN'S AND WOMEN'S Shoes $23 $32 ALL STYLES AND ALL SIZES W. also carry a complete line of High Tope. Loggan' and Men-. Work Shoea, at Cut rUuTricM, Royal Shoe Co. 229 Morrison Strtt. Bettreen first and Stxe SO. POftlLAND, ORICON 1 7 j I T 1 1 I action against him. Should the reve lations of Dr. Goricar, recently re signed as Austro-Hungarian consul, be supported by evidence, then whatever diplomatic consular officer Is involved will go. The Austrian and German embassies deny the truth of Goricar's allega tions, but the Department of Justice has had the promise of documentary evidence to substantiate them. In addition the State department has received from the British government the documents carried by a German messenger. - These contain a ereat deal of information regarding German ana Austrian activities and supple ment the papers taken from James F. J. Archibald, was familiar with the contents of Dumba's dispatches. The Department of Justice has not Initiat ed any action against Archibald be cause it could not obtain proof that he had knowledge of the character of the dispatches he wbb conveying. The sections of the United States statues under which the government 1b proceeding against Robert Fay and his associates are those which apply board- ly to the crime of piracy, the penalty for which is death. The indictments against Fay and Scholtz are fof con spiring to "cast away or destory"! vcoouib wiin intent, 10 injure ine own ers or the underwriters of the vessels or of goods in the cargo. The penalty for this crime is a fine of $10,000 or imprisonment for 10 years. They are also indicted for piracy. Export Record Is Broken. New York The greatest volume of exports ever recorded at a single port in the history of the United States left New York harbor during October, mostly for the warring nations of Eu rope, according to estimates made by customs officials here. The total, based on tabulations that are nearly complete, will not fall far short of $176,000,000, or about $7,000,000 a day for every working day of the month. In September exports from New York totaled $162,000,000. - Three hundred and ninety-three ships, nearly every one laden with a capacity cargo, left New York during October as compared with 866 in Sep tember. The tabulation shows that munitions and foodstuffs, mostly grain, rilled the list of articles shipped abroad, with clothing, shoes, cloth for uniforms, automobiles and automobile parts following in close order. The bulk of the exports went to Great Britain. To Cool a Burn and Take the Fire Out k Be Prepared V Accident W A HotathM Rtmmdy .ii A3a) HAN FORD'S Balsam of Myrrh For Cuts. Burns. " Bruises, Sprains, Strains, Stiff Neck. Chilblains, Lame Back. Old Sores, Open Wound's, and all External Injuries.' Made Sinca 1846. i , Kiss 25c, 80c uid $1.00 ; ; a'.a new- e OR WRiTft ' All ueaiers NORTHWEST MARKET REPORTS; GENERAL CROP CONDITIONS v SYRACUSE.!). Y ; Speaking Softly, ' fV. A Virginia farmer was driving a re fractory cow down the road and eow and driver came to a cross road. The man wanted the cow to go straight ahead, but the cow picked out the. cross road. A colored man was com ing along the cross road. "Hald her off! Haid her off!" yelled the driver. "I's trying ter!" replied the colored man. ' s. "Speak to her! Speak to her. and shell atop!" Good mawnln. cow good mawn- in'I" said the other, politely. Pitta burgh. Chronicle Telegraph. TOO MANY CHILDREN or under-$ize, ander-weight With pinched faces and poor blood; thej do not complain but appetite lags, they nave no ambition aad do not progress. Such children need the rich medicinal nourishment in Scoff. EmaUon above everything else; its pure cod liver oil con tains nature's own blood-forming, flesh- building fats which quickly show in rosy cheeks, better appetite, firm fiesh and sturdy frames. If your children are languid, tired when rising, catch cold easily or find their studies difficult, give them Scoff's Emulsiont it supplies the very food ele ments that their systems lack. Scott 'i Emalrim contains no alcohol and is so good for growing children it's a pity to keep it from them. Scott ABowne, Bloomneld, N. J. Daaiifu and Uaillh Let Soherls Svstem of Bean. ueiuij aim n. mill tlr c,t .ho - M attain both. Full instructions. Scores of valuable formulas. Beautify yourself. Start a Beauty onop. oian manuiactunnff tseauty specialties. ah oi uieae opportunities are open to you. Com plete System S1.0U ner eonv. ParrlffnloMi FRRR!. ruracK specialty Co,, 328 Cham. Com., Portland jjiitk" 'H Bookkeeping Stonotrairiiy V.i fridnatea MOW tm R.. 2,! 00 others in fooJ pMliiM II Gold Medali-113 Rffidtt Cert Ificatei conferresi tloee Jam. miwva poilllflii for jvm wtifSB competcBt mm j j Theory and Practloe. She talks of great musicians And of knowledge makes a show Till she leaves you with suspicions That your taste Is very low. But when she sings for pleasure On an idle afternoon She will hum a reckless measure From the latest ragtime tune. Of the drama she discourses With an erudition vast; She'll describe its classic sources in the dim poetic past, But when for sheer diversion Unobserved she means to go, She sets out on an excursion To the nearest movie show. Washington Star. 30 Killed by Air Raid. Rome Thirty persons are dead in Verona as s result of the dropping of bombs on the city by three Austrian aeroplanes. Thirty other persona were seriously and 19 slightly injured. The bombs of the aircraft found most of their victims in the principal square of ine city, wnere citiseni and peasants irom ine outlying districts were attend ing ine market. JNineteen persons were killed by one bomb. The aero planes visited various parts of the city, but none of the missiles fell near any of the military buildings. . Liner Bosnia Is Sunk. Rome The Italian steamship Bosnia waa sunk Sunday by a submarine fly ing the Austrian flag. The passengers ana crew Doarded four lifeboats. Three ot these craft have been landed, but the fate of tha occupants of the fourth boat ia not known. The Bosnia was of 2661 tons ana was nuui in She was 307 feet long, 39 feet beam and 26 fast deep. The home port of the Bosnia waa Venice, and she was owned by the Bocieta waiionale de Serviza Merit. tima, oi Kome. , Troopers Eat Out Town San Francisco Talea of hunnur In Guaymaa and the investment of the city by 30,000 Carrania troops, were brought to port Mondav bv tha ateam schooner Fair Oaks. Troopers of Carranis went into the city half-starved and at evervthina- in sight They slept alongside the rail road tracks with their women and chil dren and begged food from the master of the steam schooner. Prices of all foodstuffs are prohibitive. - More, Than a Hint He was a shy young man. For two long years he had been paying her attention and had not yet even squeei ed her hand. ' . . One evening as they lingered In the shadow of the trees by her gate he asKea timidly: "Florence, would you might I er would you mind if I placed one rev erent kiss on your fair hand tonight wnen i leave you?" Florence thought he wanted speed ing up. so she dropped her head coy ly on his shoulders, lifted her face temptingly to his and replied: . "Well, George, I should think It de cidedly out of place' H H H M THIS LETTER STANDS FOR H H OSTETTER'S " FOR OVER 60 YEARS WELL KNOWN AS A "FIRST AID-TO H EALTII APPETITE POOR? DIGESTION BAD? BOWELS CLOGGED? YOU SHOULD TRY H 11 li H OSTETTER'S UfiM.nil DITTCQ? wiuumwii uiiiliiu r. n. u. No, 47, ISIS WBKN writing te ' Hen tale paper. Portland Wheat: Bluestem, 94 forty-fold, 93c; club, 901c; red Fife, H8c; red KosBian, 87c. Hilifeed Spot prices: Bran, $24 per ton; shorts, 125; rolled barley, Corn White, $36 per ton; cracked, 187. ... - Hay Eastern Oregon timothy, $15 MIS; valley timothy, $12(3)13; alfalfa. $13.6014.60; cheat, $910; oats and vetch, $1112. , , Vegetables Artichokes, 7Bc$l per dozen; tomatoes, California, ll(ffll.50 cabbage, 90c hundred; garlic, 15c pound; peppers, 45c: sprouts, 8ffi9i eggplant, 4 6c; horseradish, 8Jc caunnower, 75c $1.26; celery, 5i 75c dozen; beans, 8g8C . . : -, Ureen Fruits Apples. 75c(ffl$1.75 per box; pears, $11. 60; grapes, 86c (cgsi.oo crate; casabas, ljc pound cranDemes, .bUll per barrel rota toes Oregon, 85S)90c: Yaki ma, $1 per sack; sweets $1.902 per nunorea. " Onions Oregon, buying prices, $1, I. o. D. shipping point. Eggs Oregon ranch, buying prices No. 1, 40c; JKo. 2, 80c; No. 8, 20c. Jobbing prices: No. l.42c; Oregon storage, zt28c. - - Poultry Hens, 1214c; springs, 13c; turkeys, 1718e turkeys, dressed, zzc; ducks,- white, 1416c; colored. 12c; geese, 10llc. ' Butter City creamery;' cubes, ex tras, selling at Slftc; ' firsts, 29c prints and cartons, extra. - Prices paid to producers: Country creamery, 28c, according to quality, butterf at, premium quailty, 83c; No. 1 average quality, 8c; No. Z, Z9e. ' Veal Fancy, 910c pound. Pork Block, 7 J6e. pound. ' Hops 1916 crop,. 812e' pound. Wool Eastern Oregon, 1826c valley, 2626; fall lambs' wool, 25c mohair, Oregon, 28c pound. Cascara bark Old and new, 84c pound. ,-'.'v!, ' Cattle Choice steers, " ftMnff, good, $66.25; medium, $5.265.75' choice cows, $55.60;: good, $4.60 4.75; medium, ?3 75(gil.2B;"' hoifera. $3.506; bulls, $34.60; Stags; $4.50 5.Z5. , ' Hogs tight, $6.266.80; heavy, $5.Z55.30. Sheep Wethers, $4.766.26; ewes, $45.50; lambs, $5.607.85.'- " Halibut, Cranberries and Turkeys In, Tacoma Halibut is now to be had on the local market in any reasonable quantity, wholesale dealers having re ceived a shipment of 80,000 pounds, This is one of the largest shipments received here for some time. Although the fish has been rather scarce at vari ous times- during the season, dealers say they now expect no trouble in ob taining plenty of this popular fish. The prices of 77J cents a pound are very reasonable, it is said, for this time of the season and the quality of tne nsn was never better. The first shipment of late cranber ries arrived on the local produce mark et this week. The beries found in stant favor at $9.5010.60 a barrel. A plentiful supply is on hand to meet the demand and no difficulty will be experienced in getting enough for the trade throughout the season, say deal ers, who praise the quality of thoBe re ceived. , aggs are nrmer and may go up within a few days. The surplus has Deen exhausted. The trade will not touch the eggs at a price above 41 cents, but when it gets below that price the demand increases and soon wipes out the surplus, which is small because of the scarcity of the prod ucts Turkeys opened whoesale here at 28 cents a pound, the first shipment from uregon being received. lhese fowl retails at 80 cents a pound. The shipment was small and brought here just as a "feeler. Dealers, however, do . not believe prices will go much lower than those now quoted. , Failures Fewer Than Year Ago. Some increase in the country's busi ness mortality is not unusual at this period of the year, and no special sig nificance attaches to the rise in the commercial death rate during October. Total Insolvencies, as reported bv R G. Dun & Co., numbered 1599. or 185 more than in the previous month and the largest Bince July, while several defaults of exceptional size helped to swell the liabilities to $25,522,380, as against $16,208,070 in September and an average of about $19,000,000 for the four months prior to that : time When comparison is made with Octo ber, 1914, however, the showing is favorable, not only from a numerical standpoint, but also in respect to the aggregate indebtedness. Then 1686 concerns failed, owing $29,702,187. in 1913 only 1434 suspensions occurred and the amount involved was $20,246, 466, though in that year practically 200 more reverses were reported In October than in September. Rutabagas In Market. Tacoma Rutabagas of unusually fine quality from North Yatima made their first appearance this season on the local produce market and sold at once at li cents a pound. Turnips also rolled in for the first time this season and met with as much favor as the rutabagas. Local vegetables are off the market, the last shipments being in no condition to handle aecordinrr to dealers. Turnips are selling at the same price as tha rutabagas. Two carloads of fine aweet potatoes from the South were received this week. Improved Tone in Butter Market. Portland There is a rather better feeling in the butter market this week. Fresh butter is moving out more freelv and there is also an improved demand for second grade. Egg prices are un changed. Fresh eggs are extremely scarce and there is no opportunity to bring in Eastern fresh, owing to the higher prices prevailing in the Eastern markets. Oregon storage are holding steady at 2628 cents. The poultry market was steady, with moderate supply. Dressed turkeys were quoted at 22 cents. The Best at aAny Price No other baking powder will raise nicer, lighter bis cuits, cakes and pastry, none is more pure and wholesome , Ifl i " mgggg jjmc cum wiiuicowuc pmk" '"Us ijhen Why Pay More?T -' Story Tellers. "Do you find that set of books you oougnt interesting?" ' "Not very," confessed the man who tries to Improve himself. "Do you regret your bargain?" "A little. I'd feel better about it if the man who comes around to collect the cash were as good at telling a funny yarn as the one who sold me the book." - . Always a Chance. " "Why don't you get married, old top?" . "Can't find anv girl willlne to leave her happy home for me." "Then why not look around for some girl with an unhappy home?" Louis ville Courier-Journal. At the Ball Game. ," " Mrs. DentB (excitedly) Isn't our pitcher perfectly, grand, Tyrua? He hits the club nearly every throw, Joplin Times.' . .. Kill It "Walter; take this, egg away." ?'Yes, sir, and' what would you like me to do with it, sir?" i . Do with itl Wring Its : neck." Passing Show. . .. .i . The Old and Reliable . Dr. Isaac Thompsons EYEWAtER Is both a remedy for week. Inflamed eyes and an ideal eye wash. Keep ran trM well is. oev wUl help keep yon, OC. il ill Brentm an. rz Mill a, nx.pl ef anca WRITE FOR FREE BOOKLET JOHN L. THOMPSON SONS A CO. K saiesKrrerDiroyi He Knew. The teacher was giving the geogra phy class a lesson on the cattle ranches. She spoke ot their beef all coming from the west, and, wishing to test the children's observation, she asked: ; "And what else comes to us from these ranches?" t That was a poser. She looked at her shoes, but no one took the hint. She tried again. ' "What do we "get from the cattle be sides beef?" One boy eagerly raised his hand. "I know what it is. It's tripe!" he answered, triumphantly. The Youth's Companion. . '- . (i SMOKELESS POWDER SHELLS Carefully insperted-: shells", the best coim-. biriations of powder, - shot and waddingy loaded by machlnesv which give invariable results are responsible for the superiority of Winchester "Repeater" Factory Xoaded Smokeless Powder Shotgun Shells. , There is no guesswork in loading them. Reliability, velocity, pattern and penetration are de termined by scientific apparatus and practical experiment8.:4JPo you shoot them? They are SATISFACTORY SHELLS TO SHOOT , You Can't Feaze Paw. - "Popper!" "Well, what is it, son?" . -"Where do they keen the street car at night, when it ain't running?" Oh, in a barn." In a barn, like a horse? Why. what do they feed It on?" Oh, currents." . Let us tell yon FREE of 24 new ways to make money. It may be tha beginning of financial in dependence. Address. Parack Specialty Co., 826 Chamber of Commerce, Portland, Ore. . 4 Not Driven, Coaxed. 1 "I understand that you have a new motor car." "Yes." i;." "Do you drive it yourself?" "Nobody drives It We coax It." Washington Star. She Didn't Like It. "So Miss Passav ia anerv with W doctor. Why is that?" - - . . . , He tactlessly remarked that . hp would have her looking her old self again." Boston Transcript, TYPHOID: , to no more neeeaeanr tban Smallpox. Arm experience net demonstrate the almost miraculous afft. Sscjr, and barmles-mess, of Antityphoid Vaccination. Be vaccinated NOW by your phyaiclan, you and VDnr family. It Im more vital than house losursaca. Ask your physician, druggist, or send for "Hava mined Typhoid?" telllag of Typhoid Vscclas, results from use, snd danger from Typhoid Csrrlen, the amn ubomtoey, bhkcuv, cm. Mosuaaa vsecisis a sssuas unbss a, a, eev. ussasi '.. Remembered, But Not Paid ' Broad By the way, Old man, do you remember borrowing $10 from me six months ago? Short Yes. Broad But you said you only want, ed it for a short time. Short And I told the truth. I did n't keep it 20 minutes. . Correct. "What is one of the characteristics of the Indian race?" asked an Instruc tor in tty college. - "They play football to beat the band," replied a former De Witt Clin, ton boy. la thA r-nnnl nf Mfa litit If TkAAnM. - sewer if clogged up. All life consists of building up and tearing down and just in the same manner that the blood carries to the various parts of the body the food that the cells need for building op, so it is compelled to carry away the waste-material that's torn i,od naova uiawnsis are puiaonoua ana aestroy us unless the liver and kidneys are stimulated into refreshed and vigorous life. DR. PIERCE'S Golden Medical Discovery is the balancing power a vitalizing power. It acts on the stomach and organs of digestion and nutrition on the purifying filters which clean the blood. Thus fresh vitalized blood feeds the nerves, heart and brain. This well known alterative relieves catarrh of the stomach and Headaches accompanying same, and has been successful for more than a gen eration as a tonio and body-bnilder. It builds up the rundown system. You need H it you are always "catching cold" or have catarrh of the nose and - throat. The active medicinal nvininlA. A ...i.n-Xj,;. ;Mr wivnou. aiconoi ana you can obtain thia tonic in liquid or tablet form at any drag .tore or send 60 cents in 1-cent stamps for trial box of tablets. WJI.I Mampe to par eoef wt mailt, mi mtanmmtkm In, frmm MHw n e . . .. . . Adtimmt. I, ft. V.M. Plmrcm, doth boaJ. lOOO Ada-raM INVALIDS HOTEL, ButtMlo.M. J Needed Cure. Mr. Jones, you will either have to marry at once or leave our employ." -nut wny are you ao anxious that marry V while you are In. love vou do not half attend to your duties, and you must either be cured or tired." Houston Post In Practice. Hobson I never In all my life saw man who could so readilv euesn rid dles and conundrums as that Henry rec&. . Dobson No wonder! Just think nf the practice he has. His wife keeps him guessing all the time. Puck. Miataken. Fat And you also said I hadn't the manners of a hog. Lean Oh. no I didn't I uid vnn had. Philadelphia Evening Ledger. Does 8o. " "Here's a startling item." "What is it?" . "It says the oyster has not Increas ed in price in 25 years." "Hum. Looks like culpable negli gence somewhere." Kansas .City Journal. ' ' 8ame Tone. . "Oh, mamma, the lady next door baa. a trained monkey, and when it doesn't behave you better believe she gives It a good talking to; and aay, mamma" 1 "Yes, my child." . "It sounds ust like when you're talking to daddy." Soma Class. "Where did yon get all the second hand furniture, old man?" "Those things are not secondhand. They're genuine antiques." Not Gray Hairs but tired byes "'" Make mm look older - flfc.il we arw. Old age and Dull Kyee tell-tela, ontlell gtarlae lye BaasSy aaaveayOMeete Jtaala leek at Ike Bye After dw Movie. (OhooM and Murine . your Sim 3 Drop. will reai, refresh Hav.il bandy. . spew reaaeie.