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About The Athena press. (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942 | View Entire Issue (March 26, 1909)
if SCIENTISTS SAY ADAM WAS A PIG K ISBfcv IIP All Physicians Must prescribe some of the In gredients that are contained in Hood's Sarsaparilla -for all trou bles of the blood, stomach, kid neys and liver. They include sarsaparilla, stillingia. troNniv AnoV iwit.isin. wild cherrv bark. mandrake, dandelion, juniper berries, pipsissewa, etc. The combination and proportions an our own formula and give power to pun beyond the reach of any other prescrip tion or substitute. That's why it ir wise to get Hood'a and only Hood's. H- Preferred One fitrl. When J. M. Barrie, the author of "Peter Pan," addressed an audience of a thousand girls at Smith College dur lnz his first American visit of last I year, a friend asked him how he had found the experience. "WelV replied Mr. Barrie, "to tell yon the truth, I'd much rather talk a thousand times to one girl than to talk one time to a thousand girls." CITS 8t- Vitus' Dance una orrons uiseapes psrms ll 1 3 nentW cured by Dr. i .loe's Great Nerve He- ttorer. Send for FREE $2.00 trial bottle and treatise. Dr. S. H. Kline, Ld., m Arch St., rnuaaeipiua, re. Expert Opinion. t . "In vonr iudement." aetked the caller. "what is the future of the aeroplane?" "Tt' nil iin in the air!" savagely an swered the information editor, who had made the same response to the question forty-seven times before. Chicago Trib une. - ' CASTOR I A : lor Infants and Children. The Kind Yea Have Always Bought Signature of '' '. We c.e. ' 'Anything I can show you, sir? 'Yest I want to ret some kind of tor for my 3-year-old boy. Have you any thing that's indestructible? Something he can't break the first time he plays with itr 'I think so. We have some toy flat- irons." ' ' "Have they got handles on 'em? "Of course." "Well, they won't last him five min utes. Show me aomKhing else." Bettslnff III Pardon. There once was a versatile kaiser, Who in handing out talk was no miser; He got a straight tip To button his lip, , y ' And now the kaiser is wiser. Chicago Tribune. . . On'v One "BROMO OUININE" TW i LAXATIVE BROMO OUININE. Look for the signature of E. W. GROVE. Used the world over to Cure a Cold in One Day. 26c. v . Getting Acqunlned. My dad can lick yourn," said Bad Dick. "Maybe he can," answered the new boy with the golden curls, "but I can whale the everlasting daylights out of you." Which he proceeded to do, with neat ness and dispatch, and they were firm friends thereafter. Recipe for Rheumatism. To one-half Dint eood whiskey, add one ounce syrup sarsaparilla, and one ounce Tons compound, wnicn can do nrnrnrpd of anv drucsrist. Take in teaspoonful doses before each meal and before retiring, followed up, this is a sure remedy. Speculation's Demoralising; Effect. "How about your gold mining stock, nM rhnn? Still nnnnmi: out well?" 'Tanning out? No. Next thing to it, though. It s Petering out." Unengo Tribune. In' Beware of the Cough that hanes on persistently, breaking your night's rest and exhausting you with the violence of the paroxysms. A few doses of 1'iso's Cure will relieve won derfully any cough, no matter how f ir advanced or serious. It soothes and heals theirritated surtaces, clears the dogged air passages and the cough disap pears. At all druggists', 25 eta, ' m I s i 13M 1 ft' m a. m4 S3 QtB lin.ii Hope Defered. When first I sought the writers' rank My verse was taken In with thanks. Tls years since that Initial splash They've never seut the promised cash. To wait and get no pay, I find, s worse than having things declined. ClevPlnnd Tl"ln Dealer. iUUUIOrS Will IIUU WIB. " hibiu" " Byrnp the b-.st remedy to use for their chlldrea auriug the tvethiug period. Vnder No Obligation.. "Senator, you surely will vote for this measure." "Why should I?" : "It's for the benefit of posterity." "Posterity mav co httfie I I know al- renrtv whnt nnsteritv will sav about me. and I'm going to get even with it before hand. I shall vote against the bill just to spite posterity." lTncle Jerry. ,-. "T (shouldn't wonder." said Uncle Jerry Peohles. "if there was something in this idee that the condition of a man's teeth has a whole lot to do with his moral character. The biggest liar I ever knew in mv life wore a full set ol raise teeta. Chicago Tribune. . lie Knew. Teacher Tommy, who was Cleopatra? Tommy Tucker Cleoimtra was the col ored woman who used to do our wash in', ma'am. Her other name was Jackson, I i rtu. 5 J! i ii ft ft i : "ADAM" AND SOME OF HIS DESCENDANTS. VIA SACRA. y .Vi- 'if Slowly along the crowded street I go, Marking with reverent look each passer's face ; ' ' ;' s Seeking, and not in vain, in each to trace That primal soul whereof he is the show. For here still move, by many eyes un seen, ' ' " - The bleesed-gods that erstx Olympus kept; Through every guise these lofty forms ... serene , ' Declare the all-holding life hath never slept,- ' -.' ' - '. ' - But known each thrill that in man's heart - hath been . ' And every, tear that his sad eyes have 'wept, .' ; . ,r , Alas for us! the heavenly visitants , We greet them still as most unwelcome guests, - ,' . ' Answering their smile with hateful looks Their sacred speech with foolish bitter jestts ' - x-- ' But oh, what Is it to Imperial Jove That this poor world refuses all his love I Charles A. Dantu ; - , ' ' J f f, ' i i Nannette's Woe . 'it". ' '"' ' ; ;- f4 t J I r" "Aunt Nancy's "coine," Nannette an lu.unced to' her : bosom f riend In a lUi III rx ! -J- choked voice, "and of ail tne inguua i "What do you -mean?" asked her Dosom rriena. , . "Well," hesitated Nannette, or ami roa rIio'b ns neat as can be, but her clothes look as If they were made for Mrs. Methuselah."- "If It's only her clothes, you neednt worry," remarked the bosom friend. Vnia 1Vll'f hflVfk to wear 'em." "It's not only her clothes I" shrieked vannptt. "It's her notions ! They are clmnlir nnnnlltlMt." i - vnr instance?" suggested the bosom nA toirinsr a look at her back hair In the' mirror with the help of a hand glass. " thine, she objects to my name," explained Nannette, indignant ly. "The very, first thing she did after taking a comprehensive view of , fomiiv was to start at me through ber gpectacleB steel-rlmmed ones, at that end ask: us mis one ni. ohll.lT n0i who Is as proud as can be or fmllv. looked a little U1B ru i,urtGh at that.: Y-r-ves. he stuttered. 'We had her christened Nancy, of course, but ehe has taken a fancy to be called r Nannette.' " 'Humph I" said Aunt Nancy." "Haven't I always heard you speak of your Aunt Nancy as a paragon V Amn(th the bosom friend. "Haven't you told me time and time again that your father looks upon her as the salt of the eartbT' i , tt Aoes."' acknowledged Nannette. "And so do I at a distance. But be cause she Is dad's favorite sister why nnar T fnilow her old fogy notions? "Why she was perfectly scandalized .t h idM of mv entertaining Uianes all the evening without the assistance of the other, members of tue iamuy i Th Idea! ; "Of course when the bell rang at the accustomed hour, that horrid Tom had to bellow out. 'It's Nan's Tuesday night beau, AuntJTtiBcy. Parlors pre empted for the evening. "You should have seen her stare. "'Am I to understand, Maria,' she asked, fixing poor mother with here eye, 'that this child has visitors rroro whose company her parents and ner brothers and sisters are barred?' " 'Times have changed, Nancy,' said dad, looking silly." , ' ."And Aunt s Nancy?" prompted the bosom friend. ' . " , Z ,. ."'In my time,' said Aunt Nancy, 'it was our greatest pleasure to have our parents and all the family enter Into Our enjoyments and help in the en tertainment of 'our friends. Hospitality meant something then, and ( 1 believe our guests . enjoyed themselves. : It seems to me anything but dignified for parents to be excluded, or for any room In their, house to be shut away from them." "Well, I declare!" said the bosom friend. ' V v "Now. do you wonder that I was frightened at the idea of Charles meet- ine her?" asked Nannette. "But I haven't told you the worst," with cloomy emphasis. "I slipped away while she was still holding forth, hop ing, that she would forget all about it But I couldn't shake off my fore bodings and the conversation flagged." "Nothine unusual in that, Is there? wickedly Interposed the bosom friend. 'Charles actually began to look: bored," continued Nannette. "and then wo both had such a shock! If you I 1 f manner. I don't know when I have seen Charles so interested. It was strange talk to me, too, for, ns dad says, I have neglected to cultivate my mind. - "Thev talked about litirature. art, politics, and even science, and I had to sit there like a dummy and listen to them. Even while he was holding my hand to say good night he was looking at and talking to Aunt Nancy. "Now what do you think of that? "I think you're lucky that your Aunt Nancy Is too old for Charles to marry," said the bosom frlend.-r-Chlcago Dally News. PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DATS DA7n fiTWTMPMT In omarnnt.nl trt (lim ftnv I case of Itchinsr, Blind, Bleeiii. or Protruding I t, . i . . . i j . .1 ...J rn- riles UIDWu uay or muiiey reiy.iuw. wu. llccaaence. "Is it true," inquired the traveler who was standing in front of the Art Insti tute, "that a confidence man once sold these big bronze lions to a trusting stran ger for $75 or some such pitiful sum?" "Yep," said the policeman; "the con men in this town are losin' their grip. I can remember when they wouldn't sell nothin' smaller than the Masonic 'lemple to a vaJhoo." Ohica-ro Tribune., OUT OF DOOR WORKERS Men who cannor stop . t , for a rainy aay wm t lina me greqiesi rrvrtirr nnrl frpPfln WWHIIVl I of bodily movement WATFRPROOF OILED CLOTH1N ciirirDCftnn tiiiTOtnnV 0Liv,iLna iuiii - Every garment bearing the sign of the fish" guaranteed waterproof taiaiog net; . a BMaVA a a" lOvTO CANADIAN CO i.'MiTfp TOQONTQ CW 1 I T- J t 1 W IF I U H iii i'in ih. r noli n. natv aunnlv n-PdhlT niwivlnlat.i nprnmnnnf itncbl. WfltflkA l.a ixiiiin vmi Ilia raauHl TXtlV tit tll lR8t eiiuipp1! and most expert awl Krow er in America. It is to onr ntlvAiitave to rattBfy you. we will. For aie every. wuure. uur ivm rem Aimuut tr w rue 10 D. M. FERRY & CO., Doirolt, Mich. PNU No. 7-09 W II KN writing to advertLsrs pleaia mention tun pnptir. . IF, MISSIONARY'S LITTLE JOKE. "SHK OBJECTS TO MI WHl" win hpiipve me. who should come marching into the room but- ' "Aunt Nancy? breathlessly inter rated the bosom friend. ' "Aunt Nancy," repeated Nanette. "Wasn't It awful? I had been bo afraid ot something of the kind. She nlonted herself In the only straight backed chair In the room and, sitting bolt undent gave me my orders: - " 'Now, Nancy, Introduce to me your friend.' "Charles had been lounging In his chair and I assure you. Isabel, that the way she looked him over through her spectacles made him stralguten up in short order. "I felt as If I should sink through the floor when she came In wearing her plain black dress and white collar and cuffs, her hair parted In the middle and plastered down on each side, look ing the world as If It had teen var nished, she had brusnea it so smootn. You know how stylish and exclusive Charles' people are? "YVelL before I knew it. they were talking together in the most animated H w lie Lengthened the Day for a Korean Village. The Koreans In the vicinity of Seoul, the capital city, and around the treaty norts are fast losing their early gulle- lessness In trying to follow the march of western civilization, says tho Youth's Comnanion. In the mountains of the Interior, however, conditions are much the same as In the days when Korea could Justly be termed the "hermit na tion"' and the inhabitants knew little and cared less about occidental pro gress. Among the American missionaries who were In the habit of making pro tracted trips in the Interior of the coun trv there was one who, In addition to being a zealous worker, was also a good deal of a wag. On the occasion of one of his inland lournevs he found himself at nightfall In a small village, where he was to spend the night in the straw-thatched dwelllne of one of the native converts. The sleeping chamber was the usual tiny room, heated by a system of flues beneath the mud floor and rendered nearly air-tight by closely fitting oil Daner. windows and doors. It was fearfully hot and about mid night the American could stand It no loneer. Bo he strolled out in the open for a breath of air. The village was wrapped In slumber, so. Just for a Joke and with no ulterior motive the mis sionary let out a lusty imitation of a rooster's crow." This was Immediately taken up by a wakeful bird m a court yard near and in a few minutes every fowl was adding his morning salute to the general chorus. Now watches and alarm clocks wer an nnknpwn luxury In the village and the people were accustomed to time their rising hour by the roosters. In a few moments, therefore, the sleepy Koreans came straggling out or their little hutf and after starting the fires on which to boil the morning rice lighted their long bamboo pipes and squatted round in little groups to wait for sunrise. -Their amazement can be imagined when the hours went by and still there were no signs of light In the east "Irun chame," said one to another, as with open mouth he pondered over the phenomenon. ; Years have passed since then, but in at least one village In Korea all events still date back to "the night when the morning didn't come." LlvxW'joewva Ckawscs Ve System Dispels ccds ox& Headaches Acts tolvxvo, acteXnAy as Bcs Jot KeuWexv axi&CK& To taVWs bexxeJxcxoX e5Jecs. aways buy tte GewivcvG, manulacturvd by the CALIFORNIA Tic Syrup Co. SOLD BY ALL LEADING DRUGGISTS one size only, regular price 50 per bottle. mi fRESCENT Egg-Phosphate WUtK WILL DO ALL THAT AM HIGH PRICED rOWDER WILL Cdoand DO '.T BETTER A FULL POUND 25c Get it from your Grocer BILLIOriSGBASS ft'SSUIHS Cmfi Me -flfte nmr aera for taut. WOZfWi H Mwt wonderful frram of the century, yielding from Jfshitjri. Itnimply ttowr, grows, grown I Cut It today I jsand la 4 week It look for tue mower again, aiJ I $ so on. ttrowe and flour lube everywhere, on ever; I bottom landBOf Ktrypt. Biff wod catalog free or f S wonderful grans, afatoof H pelts, the cereal wonder, I itarlry.Oat, Clovers, irawrH,etc.,etr,ftnd caia- f Sioffirp. Or send I40 And we will add a aamplej K farm umI nnralt imvm miaii hv von hAfsira I HSAL2ER SEED CO., Box PC La Crou. Wit. ( An.wercd the HireaeBt. "I want to give her a useful pres ent that costs enough to make it seem worth while," he said to the obliging salesman of the great department store. ' . "What do you say to a dozen strict ly fresh eggs?" the salesman obliging ly suggested. Cleveland Leader. , The 2 "FLYERS" are the O. R & N. fast through trains between PORTLAND and SPOKANE WM. McMURRAY, G.P.A. Portland The Alveolar System Of Replacing Teeth in the Human Mouth is the Greatest Advance Ever Made in Scientific Dentistry A few years airo Marconi came before the world with the statement that he could transmit meseaues through the air by electricity without the use of wires, fcvery telegraph operator in the land scoffed at the idea and said it could not be done. -. Likewise the Alveolar System cf replacing teeth in the human mouth without the us. of cumbersome and unsightly plates, which Is the latest method to be adopted by scientilio dmU8If5ou have two or more teeth In either jaw, either tiuht or loose ones (we make th. looso ones tight and healthy) we guarantee to put in for you a beautiful set of teeth that can hardly be told from natural ones. All work absolutely painless. These Teeth Will Outlast Those Who Are Wearing Them If we can beautify your appearance and build up your health wilh a new set of Alve olar System teeth, or enable you to do away with a wobbly, unclean, partial plate or ill fitting piec. of ordinary bridge-work, wouldn't It be the greaU-st service that could be don. for you? : EE) We make absolutely NO CHARGE for advice We examine your mouth and advise conscientiously jTw...t-. c1 fei iumMM 03 r The ALVEO LAR SYSTEM is to the old time method. . what Wireles i. to the ordinary y' i w ' 'i ''Wit J'x. J" ' "It didn't hurt a bit Now for my Alveolar Teeth. Telegraphy . $3.50 . . $3.50 25c and 50c $3.50 up - - 50c t in.. k. .11 nHf throw un their hands and say there Is no hope ex ceDt In the use of a false plate. The Alveolar System solves the problem and now plates ar. seldom necessary unless every tooth is gone. W. are positively pamless dentwu. in every branch, and lor at) oays we mans me uiiuviniiB mwwj "- 22K Gold or Porcelain Crowns -Bridge Work (all kinds) each tooth -Silver Fillings - - . . -We are expert plate makers Ps mli Extractinsr (free with' all work) Write for our Booklet, which will be sent free, "The Great Alveolar Electric System," W. are the only real Alveolar PentUU in Portland. Beware of imitators. We do work for out-of-town people in shortest possible time. The Alveolar Electric Painless Dentists Dentists of 5 to 20 Years Active Practice in Portland H I Corner Fourth and Washington Streets PORTLAND, ORE. Of fir. Hours: 8 a. m. to 8 P. m. Entrance 110 l- 4th or. Sundays, 9 a. m. to 12. Phone A1171 A Flavoring. It males a syrup tetter than Maple. Jk J Sold by tfrocera. PUTNAM FADELESS DYES