The Athena press., March 19, 1909, Image 2

WOMAN
sONTtiEwimm
STAtiD
Criminal lawyers agree that the
greatest dlflieulty with a woman wit
ness Is that she 1m willing to tell more
than her lawyer wants her to, Bays a
writer In the Chicago Inter-Ocean.
"Get a woman off of the witness stand
as soon as you can. There seems to
be something In the make-up of a wom
an that makes her want to tell more
than her lawyer wants her to."
"lie must have had a warm answer
some time," said a lawyer, commenting
on it "A woman Is naturally so Quick
witted that no lawyer, no matter how
shrewd and alert, ran' he sure of the
nature of the reply she will give In
answer to any particular question. I
recall when Abe Hummel was discom
fited when attempting to Impeach the
veracity of a woman witness, and he
asked her: 'Now, Isn't It true that
some one has tried to get you to distort
your story of the facts so that they
will appear to be favorable to the de
fendant 7
"'Yes,' said the woman.
"'Ah,' replied Hummel, 'I thought
sol And who was It?'
"'You, said the. woman. Hummel
lost that case.
"On another occasion an Important
point In a case turned on whether the
two parties Involved had been three
or four feet apart at the time of the
occurrence In question. The woman in
sisted that it was exactly four feet,
and Hummel asked:
" 'Now, how do you know that it was
"Just four feet?'
"'Because I knew some fool lawyer
was going to ask me tiiat question,'
said the woman triumphantly.
"At one time I had a loquacious col
ored woman under fire, and I asked:
'And what was Ills reputation for ver
acity?' "Well, Bah, his reputashun for
v'rassiry well, some say yes and some
say no.'
" 'Do you understand the meaning of
the word veracity?'
"The woman hesitated a moment,
then turned to the Judge and said sol
emnly: 'Judge, Ah refuses to answer
dat queshun, -on de grounds dat it
would discriminate me.'
"On another occasion a colored wom
an destroyed the dignity of a court
room by a naive admission. She was
accused of stealing a sum of money,
and the judge, who knew her well,
said: 'Mary, I'm surprised at you.
Don't you know that all stolen money
Is cursed?'
" 'Deed, Judge,' gasped the woman,
'Ah didn't know dat. Ah couldn't tell
dat by lookin' at It.
"I was once surprised by a woman
on the witness stand who suddenly an
nounced that the man against Whom
she was testifying had been drinking
and gambling.
"'And how did you know that?' 1
asked.
" 'Because he handed the street car
conductor a blue chip. I knew he had
been gambling by the chip, and I knew
he had been drinking because he didn't
know the difference between the chip
and a coin.'"
"Now I can get a divorce," said a
woman. "I've got some new evidence."
"Indeed, and what is it?" asked her
attorney.
"I've got a new beau!"
Not long ago, In a local case, a law
yer asked a- woman : "Did you see the
shot fired?"
"No; but I heard it."
"That is not satisfactory. Step
down."
For some reason, the woman seemed
to be amused, and laughed as she left
the witness chair, whereupon the Judge
fined her for contempt of court.
"Judge, did you see me laugh?" asked
the woman.
"No; but I heard you."
"That is not satisfactory." The
Judge remitted the fine.
-Good
Short Stories
?tv
4
One day a number of colleagues were
discussing the subject of speculation,
when one of them said to an Investor
who had some disastrous remem
brances: "Old chap, as an expert, give
us a definition of the term, iiouau'.a.' "
"A 'bonanza,'" replied the experienced
man, with emphasis, "is a hole in tho
ground owned by a champion liar."
A little chap in Philadelphia, whose
fathor is a prominent merchant, and,
as such, never loses an opportunity to
descant upon the virtues of advertising,
one day naked his mother: "May Lucy
and I play at keeping store in the front
room?" "Yes," assented tho mother;
"but you must bo very, very quiet."
"All fight," Bald tho youngster; "we'll
pretend we don't advertise."
Champion Hayes of Marathon fame
praised, at a dinner In New York, a
walkor. "He a walker?" some one said.
"Yes," said Mr. Hayes, "and the next
race ho enters, mark mo, he will win."
"Why, I didn't know he had had any
experience as a walker." said the other,
In a puzzled voice. Mr. Hayes laughed.
"No experience as a walker, eh?" said
he. "And the fellow's owned an fSO
second-hand motor car for tho last two
years 1"
Michael MacDonagh, in "Irish Life
aud Character," tells of a prisoner, re
fractory and obstinate, who flatly re
fused to work In the treadmill. The
man was brought before the governor
of the prison for disobedience. The
governor asked him what reason he
could give for uot following out his or
ders. "Me go on the treadmill!" ex
claimed the prisoner, drawing himself
up to his full height of offended dig
nity. "Never, sir! I'd rather leave the
jail first!"
It Is Dr. Isaac Barrow that the story
Is told of a playful match at mock
courtesy with the Earl of Rochester,
who, mooting Dr. Harrow near the
king's chamber, bowed low, saying, "I
am yours, doctor, to the knee strings."
Barrow (bowing low) : "I am yours,
my lord, to the shoe tie." Rochester:
"Yours, doctor, down to the ground."
Barrow ; "Yours, my lord, to the center
of the earth." Rochester (not to be
outdone) : "Yours, doctor, to the lowest
pit of nell.H Barrow : "There, my lord,
1 must leave you."
A very matter-of-fact person called
to see a neighbor, an elderly woman,
who had been ail lug for some time.
"And how do you find yourself to-day,
Janet?" was the greeting. "Ah, Mar
tha, I'm very bad. This cold, damp
wtather'll be the end of me. I'll be
at dead woman before very lonf."
"Hoots, Units, woman. You've been
toying that any time these last twenty
years. I've no patience with you. I'll
tell you what it is. You want firmness
of mind. Fix a day for your dying
and Btlck to it."
COLLEGE FARM MANAGERS.
Of No College la So Much Demanded
na of the AarrlcaHnral College.
Persons seem to expect more of grad
uates of colleges of agriculture than of
those of other kinds of colleges, writes
Prof. L. II. Bailey In the Century.
They seem to exiieet that these men
will be able at o.:"e to do all kinds of
farm work, tell Just what the soil
"needs," know what to do with animals
In health and disease, and in particular
to be able quickly to restore a rundown
farm to profitableness and to be will
ing to do It "on shares." Persons do
not seem to realize the fact that agri
culture Is a name not for the occupa
tion, but for a series of many occupa
tions, and every one of these occupa
tions should require special training
The averago college graduate Is not yet
a mature man : he may not have had
much practical experience with more
than one kind of farming, and of course
this experience cannot be gained at col
lege; his Judgment must be developed
aud proved.
The graduate of a college of law
rends law for a time before he enters
practice; the graduate In architecture
enters an architect's office; the gradu
ate in medicine engages in hospital ser
vice; the graduate In mechanics enters
a shop to learn the business; yet, It Is
expected that the gradute in agriculture
will be ablo at once to assume full re
sponsibility for a big business, and he
is censured if he makes a mistake. The
trouble Is that there are yet no ade
quate oiiportunlties in this country for
the graduate In agriculture to learn
the business or to test himself, If he
needs such test, as there are for other
students. Farmers do not take students
on such a basis. Most farms do not
properly Instruct the boys before send
ing them to college. Farm practice
should be learned at home, not at col
lege. The net result is that while
much is expected of the student In
agriculture, little opportunity !s afford
ed him In the way of any training that
fitly supplements his college course.
The agricultural colleges cannot do
their best work for the farms until the
farms come to their aid. Of no college
is so much demanded as of tho agricul
tural colleges, because they are called
on not only to educate young men and
women, but also to find the ways of
making profitable the occupation on
which they rest. They are not only
educational, but ecouomlc and social
agencies.
Chief of Them All.
"lie tried to flatter me, but I'm proud
to say he couldn't
"No? You're a greater flatterer than
he la, then, aren't you?"
"How do you mean?"
"You flatter yourself that you can't
be flattered." The Catholic Standard
aud Time
MESSINA, THE BEAUTIFUL SICILIAN CITY, DESTROYED BY EARTHQUAKE.
r
V-4
m::y:-w::9-bi-:--':'-'':- I
city of jf&SFifin - jzezzir.
Messina, Sicily, which lies in ruins from the effects of the recent quake,
was, next to Palermo, the most important city In Sicily. It is situated in
the northwest corner of the island, on the Strait of Messina. The outskirts
and environs are delightful, affording magnificent views of the sea, as well
as of Mount Etna. On the west rose the former fort of Castellaccio, and
not far away to the south is Fort Gouzaga, on a historic spot.- The new
Campo Santo was beautiful, with its graceful Greek colonnades and wonder
ful views. The Telegrato the summit of a pass near Messina was much
visited for its scenery. Here was supposed to be Charybdls of the familiar
legend, opposite Scilla, on the C'alabrian coast. . .
Messina is a town of great antiquity, its foundation being ascribed to
pirates from Cumne in the eighth century B. C, when It was known ns Zancle
(a sickle), In allusion to the shape of its harbor. The town was occupied
by fugitives from Snmos and Miletus, and it soon after passed to Anaxilas,
the tyrant of Rheghlum, who introduced there Messeninns from the
Peloponnesus, by whom the name of the city was changed to Messina. After
the death of Anaxilas, Messina became a republic and maintained that status
until its destruction by the Carthageniane during their wars with Dionyslus
of Syracuse at the beginning of the fourth century B. C. It was rebuilt by
Dionyslus, but soon feil again into the hands of the Curthageuians, who were
finally expelled by Tinioleon in 343 B. C.
' During the war between Agathoeies of Syracuse and Carthage, Messina
sided with tho Carthagenlans. The first Funic war left Messina in the pos
session of Rome, and the town subsequently attained considerable commercial
Importance. In A. D. 831 the town was taken by the Saracens, -and in 1061
was conquered by the Normans. " The town became a flourishing seat of trade
in the middle 'ages and received Important privileges from Charles I. of
Spain, which added greatly to Its prosperity. During the struggle between
the aristocratic faction, or merll,, and the democratic faction, or mavizzl, the
Senate, in 1674, appealed for aid to the French, Who occupied the city, but
soon abandoned it, after having defeated the combined fleet of Spain and
Holland. Left In the hands of the Spaniards, the city was deprived of Its
political liberties and soon 'ost its commercial importance. The plague of
1743 and the earthquake of 1783 carried off a considerable part of its popu
lation. In 1800 the place was occupied by Garibaldi and in 18C1 It became
a part of united Italy. -.
THE PURSUIT OF KNOWLEDGE
The desire of knowledge is a wholly
praiseworthy ambition, but it should
be gratified by reflection as well as by
experiment. The first electric telegraph
In Persia was put in operation by the
English government, and T. S. Ander
son was sent out ns superintendent of
the line in the earlier years of its ser
vice. At that time the Persians knew
nothing of electricity. In his book,
"My Wanderings in Persia," Mr. Ander
bou tells how one inquisitive citizen of
that land gained his first impression 'of
this wonderful force in nature. The
occasion offered was the bringing of an
Invitation to a marriage feast nt the
house of the local governor.
The old governor himself brought the
Invitation. He was accompanied by a
few of the principal villagers, whose
black eyes beamed with curiosity as
they wandered from one object to an
other In my cozy little bungalow. An
English clock, my rifle, and a few pic
tures hanging on the mud walls were
themes of. hushed conversation. A
large medicine chest and the tele
graphic npparatus were, to their af
frighted minds, objects of mystic
majjury.
One, more courageous than the rest,
yet with apparent timidity, crossed the
room to where tho apparatus stood, and
cautiously examined the screws and
brass work of the battery connections.
Emboldened by success, lie ventured
with both hands to prosecute his search
after knowledge more minutely. For
some time he did not happen to touch
more than one terminal. At last, how
ever, thinking probably that he had be
come considerably advanced in the sci
ence of electricity, he grasped with .both
hands the two screws from which flows
the electric current. A sudden yell
from the pursuer of knowledge and a
burst of laughter from me were the
next Items of the program.
The man, rather crestfallen, resumed
his seat, and in an awestrlcken tone
told his 'companions of the numerous
stars which he had seen and of the ter
rible bite which he hnd received at the
moment when he touched those curious
bits of brass.
In vain did I endeavor to convince
them that the "bite" was nothing more
than the combined action of two metals
immersed in a fluid. The one who was
a victim to his own inquisitive mind
firmly believes to this day that tiia bat
tery box is tenanted by genii. In whom
he IVrsiuns have great credulity.
AMERICANS O BRAZIL.
They Arc Maklnir irot Improve
ment hi IM (irauJe Do Snl.
William C. Dudley, of Bnull. at
ie New WUhird Ip.W, aud he brlc.es
formation of renurkuble 'mlusTrial
Vveiopnient here nuder'j'u'e leadership
f A;hi1vui engineers nn busUVss
i . "In UIo (SramU du Sul" said he.
vY.ch is one oi the rit-Vst sfuUs lu
-".-U. i".:d wi!i'! Is in the teniyerRte
. o!::i:.V.e Wl:i sixliur to iut
of Virginia, great things are going on.
Charles II. Coehalls, an American en
gineer who was assistant to Capt. Eads
when the latter opened the mouth of
the Mississippi and made New Orleans
a great shipping port by deepening the
channel In the river, is at work there
on a similar project that is to cost
$40,000,000, .
"He Is to deepen the channel into a
lagoon so that the largest ships can
enter. It is this province that Germany
has been casting covetous eyes on for
years. In the interior Americans are
building a number of railroads. One is
at the head of the Amazon, running
around the falls up there and cutting
across fcfrests, in which white men have
nder been seen before, to the richest
gold fields In the world. Americans are
also building new street car lines in
Rio Janeiro.
"Word has reached Buenos Ayres
that numbers of fine race horses are to
be shipped from here there because of
the new repressive laws' in the United
States. One of the men who has been
making Inquiries is Col. Milton Young
of Kentucky. Argentina certainly wants
these men and the horses and it would
not surprise me if the government of
fered some financial inducement for
them to come there.
"The country Is agricultural, growing
about everything that is cultivated In
the United States. Large numbers of
horses are also raised and racing is
one of the national sports. The city Js
the largest Spanish-speaking metropolis
In the world, the population being near
ly 2,000,000. It is a cosmopolitan and
commercial city, with all the hustle and
bustle that distinguishes the busy cities
of the United States."
BRYCE GIVE2T HONOR.
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tue ek;ut hon. JAurs bryce.
James Bryi. British Ambassador to
the t"uited States, was recently elected
president of the American Political
Science,, Association, succeeding Fred
erkk N. Juitsini if St. Louis.
FACTS ABOUT POOR SICILY.
The largest Island in the Mediterra
nean Sea. A part of the kingdom of
Italy. -
Of triangular-shape, and has an area
of tthoilt fl.7l)ft aminro in Una .
, ,,. r4. ! o:ti nof
Pn'nnlnHnn woa 9 O07 OA1 10O1 Uniaum, oicujr lid
kjj ua .........4 l.j
3,529,206 In, 1901.
Traversed throughout Its entire
length by a chain of mountains.
Mt. Etna, ' hear the eastern shore,
rises 10,750 feet. . L
On the north and east the coasts are
steep aud well indented, affording sev
eral good harbors. ' '
; On the west and south the coasts are
flat and unfavo3able to navigation.
The rivers are mostly .short and
swift, and generally dry up during the
suunnt".
There are many sulphur and other
mineral springs, which were famous
resorts in ancient times.
Temperature Is moderate and seldom
falls below the freezing point.
Summers are almost rainless and the
sirocco, a wind from Africa, brings In
tolerable dry heat. -
The Interior Is almost entirely de
forested. ' .
' Principal source of the world's sup
ply of sulphur, which is the chief min
eral wealth.
Exports of sulphur amount to eight
to ten million dollars a year.
Rock salt and asphalt largely pro
duced for export. ,
Once the "granary of Italy," and ag
riculture is still the jnain Industry.
Methods primitive. '
Extensive , cultivation of 4he vine,
almonds, olives, oranges, lemons, beans
and sumach.
Deep sea fisheries ive employment
to more than 20.000 persons.
Condition of large numbers of the
laboring classes, particularly in the sul
phur industry, is deplorable. -
Railway lines have a total length or
about 1,000 miles. :
Elementary schools Inadequate, but
higher education is provided for In col
leges at Palermo, Messina and Satania.
Syracuse, now a heap of ruins, was
in the ,tlme of Cicero pronounced by
him the most beautiful-of all cities.
NOTABLE EARTHQUAKES
AND LIVES THEY CLAIMED.
We wish we could hear of a woman
who. kno.viug the a:cn, was satisfied
wuh them.
: Regrets.
Oh, If we had only saved those
coupons our tobacconist gave us dur
ing the year, hoarded up -our soap
wrappers; kept our tea tickets; hung
onto our trading stamps, we might even
now be doing our Christmas shopping
with the aid of a premium list, aud
who can tell what valuable pieces of
cut glass, silverware, furniture and
bric-a-brac we might have been able
to distribute on Dec. ,23th? Already
we have seen an elegant, lithographed
fish set that we could have had for
500 coupons, a swell picture of a bunch
of grapes, fit for any oue's dining
room, for only seventy-five tea tickets
and our soap wrappers would have
purchased for, us a berry spoon that
would look as though it had bevh
bought in a real Jewelry store, f erl'y.
w e are a thoughtless and a snort-slght-&
cuss. Detroit Free Press.
Notable earthquakes have taken a
mimon lives since 1137, as follows:
' v :.: ;.' Lives
Place. Ypsr. Lost.
15,000
20,000.
60.000
40,000
80,000
70,000
5,000
80,000
3,000
100,000
5,000
200,000
15,000
20,000
6,000
100,000
1,900
18,000
40,000
40,000
50,000
2,000
20,000
1,000
43,000
23,000
40,000.
6,000
. 2.000
20,000'
finm
6,000
1,000
700
Cilicia ..1208
Naples 1456
Lisbon ' .1531
Naples ........1620
Ragusa ........1607
Schamaki ' .. .1672
Port Royal, Jamaica 1692
Sicily 1693
Aquila, Italy .....1703
Jeddo, Tokio' ...........1703
Abruzzi, Italy ......... .1706
Algiers .1716
Palermo 1726
China ........1731
Naples , 1732
Lima and Callao ..1746
Grand Cairo .......... .1754
Kaschan, Persia 1755
Lisbon .1755
Fez, Siorocco 1755
Syria ,1759
Martinico ...1767
Tauria .......1780. .
Calabria 1783
Bolivia 1797
Naples ... .... ...... . . . .1803
Kutch, India ...1819
Aleppo . , ... . . . ... ..... .1822
Murcia, Spain 1828
Canton, China ..... . . . . .1830
Calabria 1833
Martinique ,lS3f"
Cape Ilaytien, San Do-
nuuso 1S42 ' 5,000
Point au Pitre, Guadaloup.1843 5,000
Great Sanger 18."0 3,000
Calabria, Italy 1,857 10,000
Quito 1859 5,000
Erzeroum, Asia Minor. .. .1S59 6,000
Mendoza, South America. 1861 . 7,000
Manila 1863 , 1,000
Mitylene ... 1S67 1,000
Peru aud Ecuador.. 1867 . 25,000
Santander, Colombia .... 1S73 14,000
Sdo 1882 4,000
Cnshmere 1883 8,000
The Riviera 1887 2,300
Yunnan, China ......... 1SSS 4,000
Valparaiso, Cliile .......1906 1,500
San Francisco .1906 . 452
Kingston, Jamaica ...... 1907 . 1,100
............. 1,192,552
Total
Parents' Hatra and Helra.
It is possible to predict from the bair
of parents the form of their children's
hair. Two blue eyed, straight haired
parents' will have only blue eyed,
straight haired children. Two wavy
haired parents may have straight,
wavy or curly haired children, but the
chances of curly hair are slight. Two
curly haired parents may have chil
dren with either straight, wavy or
curly hair, but the proportion of curly
haired offspring will probably be large.
American Naturalist
. Satliad.
She1 And when he struck you on th
one ' cheek did you turn to htm the
other? 'v
He No; what was the use? It hurt
all over my face. Yonkers Statesman-
After a woman bas talked about so
long her husband Is anxious to turn off
the gas, .