THE DUTXEY BIRD.
in an ocean far out yonder.
As all sapient people know,
Is the land of Wonder-Wander
Whither children love to go;
It's their playing, romping, (winging,
That giveth joy to me,
(While the Dinkey Bird goea singing
In the amfalula tree 1
tThere the gumdrops grow like cherries.
And taffy's thick as peas;
Caramels you pick like berries
When and where and how you please
Big red sugar plums are clinging
To the cliff's beside that sea
Where the Dinkey Bird is singing
In the amfalula tree!
60 -when children shout end scamper
And make merry all the day,
When there's naught to put a damper
On the ardor of their play ;
When I hear their laughter ringing,
Then I'm sure as sure can be
(That the Dinkey Bird is singing
In the amfalula tree.
for the Dinkey Bird's bravuras
And staccatos are so sweet,
II is roulades, eppoggiaturas
And robustos so complete,
That the youth of every nation,
Be they near or far away,
Have especial delectation
In that gladsome roundelay.
tTheir eyes grow bright and brighter.
Their lungs begin to crow,
Their hearts get light and lighter
And their cheeks are all aglow;
For an echo cometh bringing
The news to all and me
That the Dinkey Bird is singing
In the amfalula tree !
Tea, I'm sure you'd like to go there
To behold your feathered friend ;
And so many goodies grow there
You would like to comprehend !
Cpeed, little dreams, your winging
To that land across the sea,
Where the Dinkey Bird is singing
In the amfalula treel
Eugene Field.
I allow It must be nigh onto twenty
years since me on Caleb heerd that
lecture: but It seems ns if I uiiud
a'most every word of It yet. You see,
there hadn't bin much goin' on that
winter; an' bo, when along In Janu
ary, Caleb come home from preacUIn'
I hed a bad spell of nuralgy that
day an' didn't get out an' sed there
was goin' to be a lecture up at-Nubeh
on the next Friday night, I Jest made
tip my mind that I was goin'. But I
didn't let 011 to Caleb then. You see
n man's that queer, first thing he'd
Bed would ave bin, "You can't go with
that nuralgy," Jest as If a body could
;not hev nuralgy on Sabbath an' be
all right agon by Friday.
Well, as I was saylu', I'd made up
my mind to go to that lecture, so I
boz to Caleb on Monday evenfn' It hed
bin ralnln' an slectln' all day, an' he
bed bin out at Milltown after feed
nn' was as cross as two sticks sez I,
"You're not thinkln' of goin' to that
lecture, Caleb," an' sez be, "What lec
ture?" Jest as if he'd never heerd a
word about It. An' sez I, "Oh, that
heathen lecture you was tollln me
about on Sabbath day." An' he got as
mad as a hornet, an' sez he, "There
you go, Maria Ann Larrabee, a sailln'
at things you don't know a thing
about. Here I've gone and told Uncle
Billy I'd take two tickets, an' now
you dou't want to go. I declare If It
Isn't enough to rile a saint."
"Well," sez I, "I don't see any saints
Jest 'round handy; but If you've told
Uncle Billy you'd take two tickets why
you'll have to take them, an' If we've
got tickets we might as well go." An'
go we did.
You see I'd rend a bit of poetry onct
an there was a line In It about "The
mills of the gods grlndln'," an' I
always wanted to hear soinethln' more
about them mills. The man that did
the lecturin' wasn't much to look at
about as lean an' hungry a-lookln' mor
tal as I ever laid eyes on but he
could talk, an' no mistake. He Jest
talked about them mills till a body
could almost hear the wheels huinmln'.
Sle went on to say how every mean act,
every unkind word conies back to a
body soon or late, an' how many a
time folks go on tbrowln' the doln's
f days an' months an' years into the
hopper, not botherin' as to what kind
of doln's an' sayln's the grist Is made
of.
I don't know as I ever heerd a more
atlsfyln' talk. You see that man
wasu't tryln to show off his own
learnln', nor to make us see how little
we knowed alongside of him. An'
when a body has soinethln' to say, an'
can say It without tryln to do either
of theui two things, it's a pleasure to
listen to him.
Well, I never forgot that lecture.
Many an' many's the time I've looked
at the hopper and watched for the
meal, an' I've listened to folks a eom
plaluln and flndlu' fault with the
meal, when I'd seen them a throwln'
in heltcr-ekelter, not carlu' whether
it was corn or cobs or eveu stones.
Well, well! the mills of the gods
tmrely grind flue, an ennui or late they
grind It all. But sometimes the meal
tuakes bitter eatln' oh how exceeding
Utter; hut it's got to be et all the
same.
Now, there was a second cousin of
Caleb's Henry John Stone his name
was he'd lived with us quite a spell
when ho was little, an' Caleb an nie
both thought a good bit of hlin, though
we never liked his closeness. He mar
Tied Mary Emily Lane. Nobody could
Jjwlp llkla' Dear John, he was a born
worker an that careful of his clothes,
why, I mended more for one of my
own children la a week than I did
for him ln two months.
Well, they went to housekeepln' on
a place Jest next to us, belonging to
Henry John's aunt Elmlra Stone was
her name, an' she was a terror If ever
there was one. Never married, "hed
no use ior seen wortmess truck; as
men,' she sed. I don't know as
ever seen any of them runnln' after
her; but that's neither here nor there.
She hed her good points, too.
Well, them young folks hadn't been
married long till I seen somethln' was
wrong. Mary Emily was right proud
an' high strung an' she wouldn't tell a
thing, an' he never seemed to notice
that things wasn't goin' Jest the same
as they'd alwas bin. Mary Emily
worked from mornln' till night, milk
in', churnln', feedln' calves and chick
ens, weeding garden, besides cookln'
an actfi all the house work. After
the first year she quit goin anywhere
but to church. It wasn't that they
wasn't gettln along In a money way.
Why, Henry John was always a brag
gin to me what a good worker he'd
got an' how well they was gettln' along.
But there was somethln' wrong all
the same. Mary Emily's face was get
tin' that hard lookln' it seemed as if
she hed forgot how to smile, an folks
got to talkln about how shabby she
went, an' when they'd been married
about seven years she took typhoid fe
ver, an' I went over to stay a week or
two till they could get some one. I de
clare an' testify that I couldn't find
clothes enough to change her an' her
bed twice a week, an' as for the chll
dren, I allow she must have washed out
their little dresses at night an Ironed
them before they got up in the morn
ln , not a one of them hed more than
one decent dress to its back.
Well, Mary Emily died, an Aunt El
mlry Stone came to stay with Henry
John an' the children. Henry John was
all. broke up, couldn't do nothln' but
talk to me about how good Mary Emily
was, now she Jest worked away an'
made things do, an' never pestered him
for money for finery, an how she made
over his clothes, an' hers, too, for the
children, an' how he'd be savin' up
money an' he'd got his horses an' cows
fill paid for an' (tome In the bank, till
I could hardly keep from askln' him if
her workln' was all he missed. Oh, I
allow ho loved her In his way, but he
was rlose all the Stones was close
with money close as the bark on the
"this herb onion bed's mine..'
tree. An' when a man holds his money
so close there Isn't much room for love
or anything else to get near him.
I look the baby home with me after
the funeral, an' Henry John was over
quite often. He was never done talkln'
about how lucky he was to get his aunt
to stay with hlin. Sed she had a paper
mule out, sayln' that things was to go
on Jest the same as they did when
Mnry Emily was alive. He wasn't to
pay cny rent to her an' no wages. "Jest
think. Aunt Maria Ann, she don't want
ny rent." sez he. Well, I didn't know
what to think. I knowed Elmlry Stone
lied soniethiu' up her sleeve an' I tol.l
Henry John to be careful what he put
his naitc to, but ho sed he'd read It b
fore he signed it; seemed as If he wi'S
so tickled at gettln' her to keep house
for nothln' he didn't look too close at
anything else.
It wasn't long until he told me she'd
got him to draw out his money from
the hank an' buy a new mower; sed
she'd even go to town with him an'
added some more to what he had an'
got a better machine. I got It out of
him t-'int she'd had the bill made to her,
an' hid resented It in her name. Hen
ry John didn't altogether like this, but
there was always the thought of havin'
somebody keopln' house for nothln' to
keep him from niakln' a fuss; seemed
as If money almost shone so bright !n
Henry John's eyes that It kind of dull
ed his sight for anything else.
Well, It came njong towards the Inst
of June an' Henry John seemed to be
gettln peaked lookln', Jest like Mary
Emily used to the year before she died.
I went over one day an' he was weed
In' out an onion bed, a new one he'd
made that spring under the settin
room window. He looked so worried
an miserable thut I Jest pulled him
down on the porch step beside me. Aa
sez I, "Where's Aunt Elmlry?" sez I.
"How's that?" an he ups an' says,
"She's goin' to the market now," a a'
sez I, "How's that?" an' he ups and
lelU me that she allowed as the farm
was hers she was the one to sell the
stuff. "But," sez he, "this here onion
bed's mine. I'm goin' to sell these on
ions au get the money for them, or I'll
ki.ow the reason why."
I declare I felt like sayln lots, but I
didn't ; au' things got worse an worse,
till along In September I heered Henry
John Jest a shoutln over at the fence;
an' I run out to see what he wanted,
an' be was a wavln' an' motlonln' me
to coma over. So I Jest ran over, think-
1 sSiif isja
in' one of the children hed fell or got
hurt someway. But when I got there
him an Elmlry Stone was bavin' it hot j
and heavy; seemed as if she'd sold his
onion bed an' pocketed the money ; an'
my oh my ! what a story he hed to tell ;
how he'd worked like a slave all sun
nier an' milked, an' raised calves that
she sed wouldn't live, an' took care of
the chlkens an' run the farm besides,
an' how she'd sold everything an kept
the money ; an' how' he hadn't hed a
cent to spend ; an' how he wasn't going
to sjand it any longer,
An' she was standln 'there a holdln'
out a paper to me tellin' me to read It
An I sez to her, "Didn't you promise
that things 'ud go on Jest as they did
when Mary Emily was there?" An'
sez she, "Well, ain't they goin' on Jest
the same?"
An' I set down an' Jest looked at
her. I allowed she'd gone crazy. But
she Jest looked back at me. An' sez I,
"Do you mean to say you hev done Jest
like Mary Emily usted to do? An she
give me such a scornful look. "Me?"
she sez, "me? well, I allow I'm not a
fool. I didn't say who was goin' to be
the Mary Emily, did I? Henry John
alwus allowed that Mary Emily ought
to be glad to work like a nigger day In
an' day out en' never see a red cent
an' when she wanted a callker dr she
could come beggin' to him one of the
dollars she'd worked as hard as him
to earn. Sold yer onions an' put the
money in my pocket, did I?" sez she,
turnin' to Henry John. "Well, yon kin
Jest Imagine you're Mary Emily an' I'm
you. Lots an' lots of times you done
that to her an' she wouldn't ask for a
cent. An when she died folks hed to
bring tilings to lay her out In. Well,
you've bin Mary Bmlly for nigh onto a
year now, how do you like It?"
Henry John Jest stood there lookln'
like he was goin to fall over in a fit,
an' I was dumb. As fur that dreadful
woman she went up-stalrs an' come
down again with her bonnet on, an' as
she went out the door she looked at
Henry John, an' sez she, "You've had
your lesson, see you don't forget it."
Well, I went home to talk things over
with Caleb, an' sez he, after I'd told
hlin what she sed, sez he, "Well, she's a
holy terror, but she's about right there.
Henry John's only gettin' back what
he give.".
An' sez I, "Yes, the mills of the gods
hev bin grlndln' away an' the meal Isn't
to his llkln'. You mind that lecture,
don't you?"
An' sez he, "What lecturer Jest like
a man, wasn't It?
An' some folks sed Almlry Stone hed
made a small fortune out of the place
that year, an' some sed it served Hen
ry John Jest right, whilst there was
some allowed she did It because she
saw he was gitten that close an' mean
somethln' had to be done to open his
eyes.
As for me, I never could Jest make It
out to my satisfaction, but there's one
thing I can say, it done him a power!
of good. When he married again there
wasn't a better dressed nor a happier
woman In Nubeh than Henrv John's
wife. You see he alwus was a good
man, but he didn't think; no, he Jest
didn't think. I allow it's nil for the
best; but when I go apast Mary Emily
In Nubeh churchyard I say to myself,
'If only." But there. Them that sleeps
under the green quilt need no heart
salve. An' that's more than can be sed
of the livln'. Pittsburg Christian Ad-1
vo(,nte
STAPLE FOOD SUPPLY LIMITED.
Comparatively Few Nutritive Pro
duct of the World's Inhabitants.
Certain great food staples have
proved themselves within the age-long
experience of humanity to possess a
larger amount of nutritive value, diges
tibility and other good qualities, and a
smaller proportion of undesirable prop
erties than any others, says McClure's,
These, through an exceedingly slow and '
gradual process of the survival of the ;
fittest, have come to form the staple j
of food in common use by the human !
race all over the world. It is really as-1 To Pastuerlze milk, procure long
tonlshlng how comparatively few there ' necked bottle whlcn must be serupu
are of them, when we come to consider ,ousl-v c,ean ' Pour ln the mIlk and PIuS
them broadly ; the flesh and the milk of
three or four domesticated animals, the
flesh of three or four and the esres of ,
one species of domesticated birds, three .
great grains wheat, rice and maize-
and a half-dozen smaller and much less
frequent ones, one hundred or so spe
cies of fishes and shell fish, two sugars,
a dozen or so starch-contalnlng roots
and tubers, ouly two of which the po
tato and the manioc are of real in
ternational Importance, twenty or thir
ty fruits, forty or fifty vegetables make
up two-thirds of the food supply of the
inhabitants of the world.
Instead of wondering at the variety
and profuseness of the human food sup
ply the biologist is rather Inclined to
ejaculate with the London footman im
mortalized by John Leech, who, when
told by the cook that there would be
. . 4... .... .1
Vis cmtp AYitlilniPil "XnfhlTib- huf
mt0?,,anl.0.muJ!i
and beef! Hln my opinion, hit's igh
time some new hanlmal was hinvent-j
ed!"
Not I'nuaual.
Kadley I must confess I was pretty
cranky yesterday. Did the girls say
anything about It?
Kandor No.
Kadley Strange they didn't notice
my behavior.
Kandor I guess they didn't see any-
thimr unusual about it PhlladelDhia
Press,
A poor but otherwise strictly hon-1
est man says that the worst thing '
about riches Is not having any. 1
, ; . '
Flattery 1. a kind of flypaper tft
catches all people.
Handy Home-Made Tool.
All growers of blackberries and rasp
berries know that one of the most dis
agreeable Jobs of the season is the cut
ting out of the old canes on the plants
of these fields. The easiest way of do
ing this work Is to use a sharp tool of
some kind so arranged that the operat
or may stand upright and work. The
tool illustrated may be readily made by
any handy man, and will do the work
required quite as effectually as a more
expensive tool.
Take the handle from a worn-out
shovel or fork and have the black
smith attach to It the end of an old
scythe blade or, if one has no blade of
this kind, the blacksmith can fashion
one from old scraps that he may have
at small expense. Have this blade fas-
TOOL FOB BEBBT GROWER.
tened to the handle in the manner
shown In the cut, and when working
among the canes of the berry bushes
use It In the way illustrated.
This tool will be found extremely
handy for this sort of pruning any
where on the farm. It will work quite
well for cutting out suckers In the or
chard as In the berry row. If the canes
are quite tall a straight handle may be
attached to the blade so that one may
have it of any desired length. Such a
tool costs but little, and if one has a
considerable area in berry plants it
Till pay to have several tools made.
Beans.
"Beans" Is the title of a recent farm
ers' bulletin, by Professor Corbett, the
well-known, horticulturist of the United
States Department of Agriculture.
Beans belong to one of the most Impor
tant families of economic plants with
which man has to deal that of le-
gumea The bean furnishes food for
both man and and beast, and at the
same tIme increases the fertility of
lne B0U- Lt l8 therefore, an lmpor-
tant croP both in farm rotation and
In market garden work. The new bul
letin treats fairly of its cultivation,
care and use.
Professor Wlaneko, of Purdue Expe
riment Station, has Just issued an In
teresting bulletin on soy beans, cow
peas and other forae croPs- The cul-
lu,e 01 LW Pea3 ana By Deans "
comluB important witn many farmers.
" mey mae gooa rorage crops ana at
tne same time aaa fertility to the soil
They belong to the legumes, and the
cost of producing Is about the same as
for corn, while their food value com
pares very favorably with corn. Sev
eral other classes of forage plants are
described In the bulletin.
To Pasteurise, Milk.
Pasteurizing milk Is a very simple
process, the operator to be careful of
the temperature, however, which is
Tery Important. When milk Is .boiled
tho natural flavor Is destroyed, and
soe Persons object to it. Milk Is also
mJurea lo a certain extent Dy boning.
the tops with cotton wool, which ex
cludes all germs. Place the bottles ln
a deeP Pan or other vessel and neat to
a temperature 01 las degrees, using a
thermometer. If the temperature reach
es 160 degrees the milk will have the
odor of being boiled. Keep the milk
heated for half an hour. The cot
ton stoppers need not be removed un
til the milk is desired for use. The
bottles containing the milk may be
placed ln a refrigerator or some cool
receptacle. Milk so prepared can be
kept for two or three days. To sterilize
milk lt must be boiled, hence Pasteu
rization Is a different process.
Poultry.
A careful observer of poultry needs
no better sign of its condition than to
ihow8 tnat tne hen or male ,s healtn
'U" VW . "VU, rug y 111
....
probably be a good layer. After the
8pp'y nas falled t
generally lose Its color. In cold weath
er fowls with large combs must have
extra warm quarters, as they are very
easily frozen. It Is frozen combs more
often than anything else that makes
Leghorns and Mlnorcas poor winter
layers. As their names Imply, they are
natlTes of warm climates, as. Indeed,
most fowls are. They very rarely get
into as warm quarters in winter as
they c0"13 find aDJ"where In the eoun-
1" nera tne naa welr original
Vome.
Keepinar.
A cellar Is a good place to keep bees,
but. If sheltered from the winds and
exposed to the sun, a strong colony will
doeU out of doora
Shredded Stove. .
For winter feeding of stock animals
this makes one of the finest feeds on
the farm. The modern husking and
shredding machinery does excellent
work, and Its man-eating proclivities
hae been largely eliminated. An or
dinary threshing machine can be made
to do good shredding, but the grain Is
not left ln the best condition. The
greatest drawback in the use of both
husker and thresher Is that they re
quire a large force of men and teams,
hence the work Is quite expensive.
Perhaps the cheapest corn husking Is
done with the little old husking peg.
But It Is almost Impossible to feed long
stover without considerable waste, and
the refuse stalks are a nuisance when
lt comes to handling the manure. These
difficulties may be overcome by running
the hnndhusked stover through a com
mon cutter and shredder. This work
can usually be done without employing
much. If any outside help. In cas ev
erything Is hired, the cost of the work,
added to that of hand-husklng and put
ting of the corn and stover ln crib and
mow or stack may equal or even exceed
the expense of machine husking and
shredding. This Is a point for each to
decide from his own standpoint Agri
cultural Epltomist .
Composition of Crop.
A bulletin of the Minnesota Experi
ment Station discusses the composition
and characteristics of the more common
farm crops, as alfalfa, clover, peas,
rape, corn fodder, timothy, millet, etc.
In connection with the composition
of some of the crops the protein con
tent of the seed Is considered. In the
case of clover, alfalfa, peas, beans and
rape two distinct types of seed are
shown to recur, one of high and the
other of low protein content, and the
relationship of the physical character
istics of the seeds to the chemical com
position Is noted. The larger protein
content of the seed Is considered as a
possible factor ln the production of for
age crops of high nutritive value. The
quality of the forage in live-stock feed
ing is of great importance, because by
the use of more concentrated nitroge
nous forage rations can be prepared
requiring smaller amounts of grains
and milled products. The result Is a
material financial saving of stock.
IIott to Save Steps.
In spite of the extensive development
and use of corn harvesting machinery
the fact remains that much corn is
still cut by hand. Therefore the ac
companying sketch recently sent to the
New England Homested by a reader
will prove of interest.
He has figured out that If the plan
outlined Is followed a sixty-four hill
shock, or stook, of corn can be cut at
a minimum number of steps. The cir
cles ln the center represent the four
hills tied together or between which
the shock Is built. After the founda
tion for the shock is ready the man
goes to No. 1 and cuts in the direction
: - i i
I 1 r r
I
?-- ru & fa sir
! !
-vji U$ o o ...
it- f o o go if.
? P dp G3" $-...
1 I ;
!
-o A Q- ts-. n.-. tr
CUTTING A SHOCK OF CORN.
of the numbers until he reaches Xo. 8.
After placing his armful ln the shock
he begins at No. 9 and cuts to No. 10
again depositing his load and continu
ing the operation ln the way the hills
are numbered until the shock is com
pleted. It will be noted that ln addi
tion to saving steps this plan brings
the cutter near the shock with his heav
iest load, or when his arm Is full of
corn.
Fruit from Seed.
It is doubtful if there is any kind ot
fruit that will come strictly true to va
riety when grown from seed, as there
is a tendency to deviate from the orie-
Inal. One may secure something supe
rior or the fruit may revert back to
some undesirable kind. It is a slow
and uncertain process. Chestnuts may
be grafted when 1 year old. The nuts
are usually placed In the ground In
rows, 6 Inches deep, early in the sprint
or late In the fall, hilling over them If
in the fall, and uncovering In the
spring. They are very unreliable In
germinating and prefer a sandy loam.
The European varieties are larger than
the native. The native chestnuts vary
greatly, no two trees producing nuts
exactly alike In size, flavor, etc. The
foreign varieties are grafted on the
American stocks. Trees grown from
American nuts can not be depended
upon for quality of product
A Peaceful Bee.
Beehives on every front porch, giv
ing each family a supply of delicious
honey close at hand, while at the same
time the bees will Inculcate their les
son of industry, are a possibility, for
the Department of Agriculture has suc
ceeded in Importing from abroad what
may be termed a peaceful bee, which
finds our fickle climate to Its liking.
The newcomer is known as the Cau
casian bee. The name Is derived from ;
Its native locality, and is emphasized
by habits of life which rank lt distinct-
ly as the white man's bee. It Is civil
ized, dignified and high-toned. It
rushes with reluctance Into anything
that smacks of warfare, havin. In
place of the belligerent Instincts of i
others of its class, a predisposition to I
arbitration.
OSTB OF THEIB TJSE3.
Old-World Royalties Are Tery o
venlent Subjects of Conversation.
The royal standard, streaming abova
the battlements, showed gallantly
through an opening in the trees. The
Americans, resting midway of their
walk through Windsor Park, fell nat
urally as they watched lt Into casual
chat concerning the royal family, whose
presence it -indicated. Presently a
young girl laughed and addressed an
other :
"As usual, Connie, it's you who Is
going to be married to who, and why,
and whose son he Is, and bow under
such and such contingencies he would
succeed to such and such a throne.'
"You, the most thorough-going, un
mistakable, let-the-eagle-scream Ameri
can of us all ! Yet you gloat over a
royal wedding as a gossipy village
dressmaker does over a wedding In the
oldest local family. It's too funny I"
Constance Joined the laughter, but
she defended herself.
"Certainly I do! it's only simple
gratitude ln me to feel a kindly Inter
est in the affairs of royalty. You see,
two years ago a much traveled, widely
Informed, very aged, very argumenta
tive and very domineering cousin spent
the winter with us. Until I discovered
the crowned heads of Europe conver
sation ln the family circle was an or
deal. She challenged everybody's opin
ions, authorities and tastes, and bullied
or derided us Into assent or silence.
But her years abroad had given her a
taste for gossip about royalties, and I
soon learned, when I percefved a storm
brewing, to fling overboard a prince or
a princess, as one might pour oil upon
the waters; and lt always acted like
a charm. Concerning the European
sovereigns, we had neither principles,
theories nor feelings to be assailed,
while Cousin Euphemla possessed an
accumulated fund of information,
which she was delighted to bestow upon
us. Oh, I assure you, royalties have
their uses even In a republic; as a pic
turesque, Interesting and harmless sub
ject of conversation, kings and queens
can't be excelled."
"And that's one of their uses," com
mented one of the men, smiling, "even
ln a monarchy. They are the fairy
story, the romance, of their people;,
and every royal betrothal, wedding,
christening or funeral Is a thrilling
new chapter In a serial that never
ends." Youth's Companion.
Mabel What are you making? Aun
tie Angel cake my dear. Mabel
Where will you get the angels to put
in It?
Fred Oh, mamma, the druggist at
the corner gives away birds with each
glass of soda water! Mamma What
kind of birds, dear Fred Swallows.
Nellie was visiting at the seashoret
and, seeing the waves rolling for the
first time, exclaimed: "Oh, mamma,
what are those big, gray-haired 'lumps .
bobbing up and down?"
"What is algebra, Johnny?" asked
the teacher of a small pupil. "It's a
white mule covered with black stripes,"
answered the little fellow. "I saw
one at the circus last summer."
"Mamma," said 4-year-old Harry,
"I'll bet God thinks I'm dead." "Why,
dear?" asked the astonished mother.
" 'Cause I forgot to say my prayers last
nignt,- answered the little fellow. '
Little 5-year-old Edith was taken te
a dentist, who removed an aching tooth.
That evening at prayers her mother
was surprised to hear her say: "For
give us our debts as we forgive our
dentists."
"I wonder how dolls live? They
don't eat anything." "Oh, 'yes, they
do." "How do you know? Cause
my old one got ripped up the back the
other day, and she was full of break
fast food.
Teacher Who was the god of war?
Small Boy Hymen. Teacher No,
that isn't right Hymen was the god
or marriage. Small Boy Well, my pa
said Hymen was the god of war, and
I guess he knows. '
"Mamma," said 5-year-old Bessie,
"can't I have a milkmaid's costume for
Cousin Nellie's party?" "I'm afraid
such a costume wouldn't be suitable for
a little girl like you," replied the moth
er. "But," persisted Bessie, "I can be
a condensed milkmaid, can't I?"
He Didn't Want the Job.
Lord Karnes was Judge of a circuit
court Ersklne was attorsey for 'the
defendant whose name was Tickle. He
began his plea. "Tickle, my client, my
lord" .
"Tickle him yourself, Harry. You
are as able to do it as I am," said
Kanies. .
Henry la Hallarned. "
"I once read a book by Henry
James." - f
"Well?"
"I was quite surprised. I understood
what It was all about" Washington
Herald. Something- Just a Good.
"Got any breakfast food?" asked the
oly lady ln the grocery.
"All out" replied the erocer absent-
mindedly. "But we have 'some very,
fine shavings." Milwaukee Sentinel.
- Not an Ancestor.
Papa was carefully studying the fam
ily, history in the big Bible when hi
nine-year-old daughter surprised him
by saying, "Papa, was Aunt Ann one
of your Ann-sisters?"