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ATHENA PRESS
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f. B.BOYD., v. ...Publisher '
The octopus is represented as having
no neck, but no one disputes that It has
wind.
A Boston man, 62 years of age, says
he never told a lie In bis life. But,
, . , then, he Isn't married.
Simplified spelling will make a great
mistake It ever It tries to Invade Mr.
Cleveland's vocabulary.
. By : close application In some other
Held of effort Dr. Wiley nay live down
his past as an insanity expert
One can't help wondering what would
have happened to Gov. Swettenham if
It had been "Fighting Bob"' whom he
Insulted.
A woman is suing for divorce because
her husband is a baseball crank. Let
us hope there may be no foul tips In the
testimony.
The report that Japan consumed 500
tons of whale meat every month may
be true, but it looks like a fish story
at this distance.
At the marriage altar he agrees to
endow her with all his worldly goods
and she promises to love, honor and
obey but do they make good?
Tour friends think that you are right
end your enemies think that yu are
wrong, but you have to show the . rest
of the cold, unsympathetic crowd.
It is said that Canada could put G00,
000 men In the field In the case of war.
That would leave about 1,500,000 to sit
around at home and criticize the men
in charge of the Job.
Mark Twain entertained an audience
a few evenings ago by reading selec
tions from the works of Shelley and
Browning. Mark Twain simply cannot
resist the temptation to be funny, i
, Neurologists say that insanity Is very
contagious. It has ofteu been noticed
that one crazy man in the house may
wake it difficult for the rest of the
family to maintain a mental balance.
Some genius has Invented a new kind
of paper that will crumble and go to
pieces a short time after It has been
written on. It Is especially recommend
' ed to people with the love-letter habit
who dread breach of promise suits.
A Kansas editor asks this fool ques
tion i "IIow would you like to be a
country editor in Persia aud have to
publish the card of thanks signed by
the 800 widows of the lute lamented
t Shah?"' Have the 800 widows anything
to be thankful for? ' . .
. It Is a little difficult to discover whera
the advantage lies ln Mark Twain's
white dress suit that is, when it Is
worn by an old man. Of course, If one
were ln the habit of pressing a soft
cheek against oue's breast a white coat
would help some in hiding the powder
marks. ; . : -,
Certain of the high-sounding terms
employed by insanity experts are cal
culated to confuse the layman, but
when they come to be explained tbey
denote very ordinary conditions. Thus
the term "systematized delusion" re
duces Itself to the equivalent of a com
mon expression ln which the patient Is
described as "having a bug" and the
patient himself Is designated as a fool
with a prefixed adjective. The Impres
sive expert terms are the Instruments
by which the expert demonstrates his
learning and fixes his fees.
It Is only necessary to read the his
tory of the various nations and not
necessary to read as far. back into the
past as the days of the Caesars to be
assured that the morals of the United
States are rather healthy as a whole
and that the morals of the civilized
world are of a finer grain to-day than
they were In the past This Is due
partly to a better sort of civilization,
partly to the spread of the Christian
religion and partly to the fact that de
cency has hedged vice about with laws
that draw the line where personal lib
erty infringes upon the liberty of per
sons. A case Is known to us, says Collier's
Weekly, of a young man, residing near
an army post, who had studied for the
West Point examination, but failed of
appointment owing to adverse political
influence brought to bear on his Con
gressman, as he believed. Much de
pressed, he told bis troubles to the com
mandant at Fort Thomas, who advised
him to enlist and fight his way up. Ills
father and older brother were clergy,
men, another brother held a good place
ln the civil service, and all were op
posed to the suggestion, but he persist
ed. Within a year he was a corporal ;
a little skirmish lu the Philippines gave
him another lift, and he received his
commission as second lieutenant ln less
time than If he had gone to West Point
Such facts seem likely to make the
work of our recrultlflg officers less dls-
hearteulug.
Popular attention for several years
bas been concentrated upon the "com
ing woman." Now It Is time to inquire
what Is to become of the "coming man."
How shall ho earn his living? Who
hall protect his rights? What rewards
ahall stimulate his sluggish ambition?
For, behold ! the woman who Is no fcsg
er "coming," but who has "come," is
usurping his functions. Not only In
the cities, where she has long been el
bowing her brothers out of schools and
shops and offices, but even In the vil
lages she is getting the upper hand.
From Ohio comes the report of a town
where the hotel, the Postofflce and the
Sunday school are all shall we say
manned by women? The superintend
ent of schools Is a woman, and she does
not employ a man in the schools. The
church choir is composed of female
voices, and the doctors are all women.
But a Maine village goes eben farther
than that Its Justice of the peace. ttsjQ
physician are women; The most popular
minister Is a woman famous for the
number of weddings and funerals to,
which she Is called. The editor and
proprietor of the local paper wears a
bonnet; so do the photographer, the
cashier, of the bank, the Insurance!
agent and the undertaker. The men of ,
the town have a nominal choice be-
tween going West and taking what is
left in the way of occupation. But
many of them have not been able to
save from their scant allowances the
money to emigrate, and must make the
best of the situation. There are seven
blacksmiths in the town, and twice as
many plumbers and carpenters as can
find work. The grocery steps are over-
crowaea wiin occupants on pleasant , whlch bad mt out ln
days, and there Is sharp competition in No nad he de.
winter for the chairs round the office ffie dlagram and the in
stove of the one lawyer. The final re-1 ... mm . hiw mnn mlle9 x
source of the men Is likely to be the
, ,., . , ,, . .
kitchen sink. The more delicate proc
esses of the household will not be sur
rendered by the enterprising wives. But
the three-times-a-day dish-washing may
be confined to the husbands and broth
ers; and extra large invoices of stone
china have been recently ordered by the
feminine dealer in crockery.
Educational circles are warmly
aroused In Los Angeles over the ques
tion as to the respectful terms that
children shall use ln responding to their ;
elders. The teachers of the public
schools wish the children to include
In their speech the old-fashioned "sir"
and "ma'am" when addressed by their
Instructors. The parents of the boys
and girls who attend the public schools
of that Callfornlan city, however, ob
ject, probably thinking that It takes
on too servile or humble a sound. In
so-called smart circles In this country,
ln these very modern days, servants
are the only ones who add these small
verbal expressions of respect The
Western parent may unwisely argue
that a teacher and pupil are on a wide
ly different footing than mistress and
cook, or coachman and the master who
Is driven. But are they? Is not the
one who teaches, or performs the ser
vice, really superior? Although the
scholar may be a prince of the blood.,
and the teacher be of the most obscure
origin, Is not the pupil the lowly one.
There does not seem to be anything
particularly) vulgar about a small boy
or girl adding the little word "sir"
when replying to an adult In the
early American days it was as much
of a sign bf good breeding to thus re
spond as to rise to the feet when an old
er person entered the room, and every
child was then polite enough to thus
observe the entrance of a newcomer.
But, alack, many of the good old man
ners are too rapidly vanishing. If
parents feel a decided repugnance to
the old-time "sir" and "ma'am" of our
great-grandmamma's day, then do have
the children, when replying to their
teachers and elders, do It with a "Yes,
Miss So-and-so," and "No, Mr. Etcet
era," always giving them the courtesy
of their names. Not with the "Nope"
and "Yep" that are too often the care
less answers that are made. We have
cast off many fine old customs that we
might with beneficial propriety have
retained, aud with them seeih to have
fled all courteous titles formerly ex
tended to our seniors.
Oalr Sllg-ht Mistakes.
Mrs. Lombard Is a zealous and loyal
friend, and she means withal to avoid
exaggeration. "It's perfectly wonder
ful to see the way Couslu Henry counts
bills at the bank," she said to a pa
tient friend. "Why, I think they are
so lucky to have him? He'll take a
great pile of flve-and ten-and twenty-
dollar bills, and make his fincrera flv
Just like lightning, and never make a1!
mistake!"
"Never?" said the friend, who knew
Mrs. Lombard's weakness, and could
not forbear the question.
"Why no at least why, perhaps
he might get five or ten cents out of
thu u-nr hilf nat flnv uinr Avar " on.1
Mrs, Lombard spoke with an air of one
who has taken a stand and refuses all
chances to retreat
He Had "Power" Enough.
The colored inlulster was tall and
powerful of frame, and as he preached
he whacked the pulpit cushion with
haiumer-like strokes of his massive fist
But his preaching, according to a south-
western bishop of the Episcopal Church,
consisted mostly of the repetition of
one phrase: "May the Lord give us
more power. More power, O Lord!"
At last a small colored man got up
ln the back of the church, a disgusted
ej.yrcwiuu vu uu iaw, iuu vnucu oui
in piping tones :
"What you-all need, Bruddah Rob
bins, Is not nioah powah, but moah
Ideesl"
Bibles for the World.
The new warehouse of the British
and Foreign Bible Society in London
contains 1.250,000 Bibles.
Fortune smiles on some people and
lausba at many.
SAW THE MOTOB CAS.
It Wa a Great Cnrlosltr tk
Farmer' Family.
It was the turn of the motor car
tourist and he told this story, says the
Kansas City Star.
"I was on the way to a small town
Hnuf thlrtv miles distant and had
iwcbeoix in a little village.
At the same table in the small hotel
sat a countryman, a red handkercnier
around nIs neck and hls .touch hat
on the floor beside his chair.
"'How far, is it to Blllvlller I asked
of him.
The man to whom I addressed the
credulous.
"'Don't you know?" he replied.
"I admitted aiy Ignorance of the
country and its distances,
"'It's about twenty-five miles,' he
eald.
"'What's the best road to taker
"The man laid down his knife and
fork and a smile passed over his face
as he looked at me in silence, then his
ou mt, An a Innlr . nf IntieClSlOn.
... ... aa (Vsdad Dy a
, TTU.VU U .Cell " -
look of satisfied determination.
" 'Don't you know? he asked by way
of reassurance.
"I again admitted my ignorance.
"'I'll show you, he said, and from
bis pocket be drew a pencil and an old
envelope. Then he drew a diagram
of the route I was to follow to reach
... . that thnn ,
.was to go this way and that man ne
picked up his hat and suddenly left
the table. I could not account at that
time for his quick departure, but an
explanation came to me later. After
eating luncheon leisurely and smoking
a cigar which consumed about an hour
of my time, I climbed Into my machine
and resumed my Journey.
"For five miles I followed the coun
tryman's diagram and then came to a
piece of road that was atrocious. For
two miles I climbed over bowlders and
stumps and ln and out of ruts and gul-
leys. At last I saw ahead a little
house ln the edge of the woods. I was
sure that I was off the regular road
and I made for the house to ask for
my bearings. Imagine my surprise
upon drawing up In front of the house
to find my friend, the countryman, his
wife and children out In the road to
meet me. They all looked at the ma
chine with wondrous eyes, and the
smallest child hung to his mother's
skirt and cried from fright The other
children fled to the house and peeked
out of the, window. My friend who
had been so kind In drawing the dia
gram and giving directions said:
Neighbor, I most run my horse to
death to get here afore you did. I
wanted my old woman and the kids
to be sure and see one of them crit
ters. They never seen one afore. I'm
much obliged to you, but If you want
to get to Blllville you'll have to pull
back two miles to the road where you
turned In and go straight ahead.'"
INDIAN OF MEXICO DOCILE.
Eaaentlally a Man of Peace, H
Wants to Be Let Alone.
The simple minded, patient, docile
Indian of Mexico Is eminently peaceful.
Bountiful nature and perpetual sum
mer combine to palliate his lmprovl
dence. He cannot see the necessity ol
laying up anything for a rainy day.
It rains half the days ln Mexico any
how, but that only makes the mangoes
grow larger and cheaper. If he bai
no tortillas to-day some of his neigh
ors have, and they will gladly share,
for conditions may be reversed to-morrow.
These Mexican Indians make the best
and the poorest servants ln the world.
Their greatest charm from this stand
point Is their perfect appreciation of
their position. Always polite, never
presuming, with hat In hand. It Is al
ways "your servant and "with your
permission." In the household they
ask a half holiday once a fortnight
with never a word of complaint when
working hours last from daylight to
midnight -
The Mexican Indian does not want
to fight. All he asks is to be let alone.
Ills politeness and affectionate nature
are Inborn. ' His love for children Is
particularly marked. It is a common
sight to see a laborer ln the street
with but two pieces of white cotton
clothing to his back or his name stop
a woman with a baby ln br arms and,
i holding the child's face between both
his hands, deliver a resounding smack
and chuck It under the chin. And ln
the same unconscious and entirely un-
'afforttajl mnnnpi will fl Tnlintr man tfllfAi
' his sombrero from his head and rever-!
ently kiss the hand of some ancient
relative in a tattered dress when he en
counters her ln the crowded thorough
fare. Modern Mexico. 1
Long Lived Goldflnch.
The longevity of ravens, geese and
several other birds is well known, but
It rtciA not often fall to the lot of a
1 blrd to uve to , great age A
; goldfinch belonging to W. Godwin of
victoria Park, Dorchester, furnished
exception to the usual rule by llv-
lng njitll It was over 22 years old. The
Dira died recently from old age. Lon-
,jon standard.
Vain of Antiseptics.
Before Lister's antiseptic Inventions
the death rate in amputations of the
thigh was 41 per cent It U sow
about d. i
One Year's Canned Tomatoes.
The total pack of the United States
nned tomatoes la 1906 is given as
9.074.003 cases.
S. V. Sharp
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON
Special attention given to all
calls, both night and day.
CalU promptly snswered. Ofllet on Third
Street. Athens. Oresor
t THE
ST. NICHOLS HOTEL
; J. E. FROOME, pbop.
i w
SOnly First-class Hotel In
the City.
THE ST. NICHOLS
Ii the only one that, can accommodate
eommerolal travelers.
Can beieoomended for its clean and
J well ventilated roomi,
Cob. Main and Third, ATBiRs.Or.
COIHRGIAL
LIVERY STABLE
HARRY M'BRIOE, MANAGER
Best Stock and Rigs in the City.
Competent Drivers.
Stock Boarded by the Day, Week
or Month at Reasonable Rate.
NORTH SIDE STREET, ATHEAN, ORE
OREGON
SnoT LINE
Union Pacific
1'hrougU Futlmaii standard and sleeping
er da! ly to Omaha, Chioigoj touriut sleeping
car dally to Kaunas city; lurougn ruumaii
tourlsi sleeDlne cars, personally conducted,
-weekly to Chicago, with free reclining
chair cars, seats free, to the east daily irom
renaieton.
AEKIVK
Dally.
TIME SCHEDULES
DKPAKT
ATHENA, ' ORE.
Daily
Walla Walla. Day
ton, forneroy, L.ew-
iston. t'ouax. run-
11:55 a. m.
man, Moscow, the
11:55 a.m.
uouer a'Aiene dis
trict. Spokane and
an points north.
Walla Walia - Pen'
dleton Mixed
12:30 p n
Fast Mall for Pen
dleton, LaUrande,
Baker City, and all
points eist via Hun
tington, Ore., Also
for LTmatill, Hepp
ner, The Dalles,
4:53 p m.
4:53 p. m
Portland, Astoria,
Willamette Valley
Points, 1'allfornla,
Tacoina. Seattle, all
Sound Points.
Pendleton - Walla
6:30 pm
Walla Mixed
J. 8. JUoble Agent,
Alben
FOR
COUGHS
IrS)
KING
hnnnnn I M"1Tn
I 1 V a . " M I. B q m i SB. W .V Tf BL M', Q
FOR
PREVENTS PHEUOOniA
I had the most debilitating cough a mortal was ever afflicted with, and my friends expected that
when I left my bed it would surely be for my grave. Our doctor pronounced my case incurable,
but thanks be to God, four bottles of Dr. King's New Discovery cured me so completely that I am
all sound and well. MRS. EVA UNCAPEER, Grovertown, Ind.
Prici 50d and $1.00 ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEED I Trial Battle Free
J "Saving at the Spigot I
j Wasting at the Bung" 1
It covers more surface, spreads easier, and lasts
longer than any other prepared paint, or hand-mixed
lead and oil.
CALL
I COLOR
Umatilla Lumber
THETUM-A-LUM' LUMBER CO.
JACK WEIE, MANAGER .
Athena, Oregon
Building Material and
Fuel
Yards at Walla Walla, Touchet and Lowdon,' Wash.,
and Athena, Adams and Freewater, Oregon.
ESTABLISHED 18G5
Prcston-Parton Milling Go. :
Flour is made in Atheoa, by Athena labor, in the latest
and best equipped mill in the west, of. the best selected
Bluestem wheat grown any where. Patrotiize home
industry. Your grocer sells American Beauty for
Merchant Millers and Grain Buyers
Waitsburg, Wash.
CON-TAIN-ING
NO POI90NS. CONFORMS TO NATIONAL PURE FOOD AND DRUG LAW.
Th Original Laxatlv CoutfK Syrup containing Honey and Tar. An Improvement over all CougH.
Lung and Bronchial Remedies. Pleasant to the taste and good alike for young and old. All cough
avrups containing opiates constipate the bowels. Bee's Laxative Honey and Tar moves the bowels
and Tcontems no opiates" Prepared by PINE-VLE MEDICINE COMPANY. CHICAGO. V. S. A.
SOLD IN ATHENA AT HAWK'S PIONEER DRUG STORE
OF
THE WONDER-WORKER
COUGHS AND
3 SOLD AND GUARANTEED
W. M. McB AIDE;
That's -what buying poor paint
means. Paint may be low
priced by the gallon and be
extravagant to use owing to
to it's poor covering power
and wearing quality, After
the paint is applied it's too late
to save. Start right and use
The SherwimWiluams Paint
MADE TO PAINT BUILDINGS
WITH, OUTSIDE AND INSIDE.
FOR
CARDS
per
Athena, Oregon
FOR
GOLDS
AMD
LUNGS
ULSLRl
COLDS
BY C
Yard
BEAUTY
CSiLrb4
Bf
H
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