The Athena press., March 29, 1907, Image 2

ATHENA PRESS
Tuesday and frlday
t. B. BOYD ...Pubfisher
It Is much easier to spend than tt Is
to save.
Even an optimist Is apt to backslide
when he has a boll on the back of his
beck.
The Pulajanea have been "almost
subjugated." Evidently a few of them
are still alive.
There recently died In Germany a
man who knew fifty-two languages. He
probably couldn't outtalk his wife, at
that
The sugar trust has paid Its fines of
$108,000. For a while now Its dispo
sition will be sadly In need of sweet
ening. In giving the President the Noble
peace prize, credit must be allowed the
donors for slipping It In while there
still was peace.
According to a London physician,
music will cure alcoholism. Fining It
to the tune of $50 and costs has been
known to help some.
That woman who says she will have
to go and find the North Pole talks as
If she thought It had been left la the
back yard somewhere.
A orty-slx-story building is being
erected In New York. The people who
have offices on the top floor will have
to be good to the elevator man.
Land frauds have, been discovered
in Western Kansas. dSjliere was a time
when a man would have been sent to
the Insane asylum for stealing Kansas
land.
Attempts by modern writers to
cheapen and belittle Shakespeare have
but one effect, and that Is to cheapen
the world's oplulon of the modern
writers.
An Alabama bank teller who skipped
out with $100,000 has been declared In
sane. When It was found that he could
have taken twice that sum, no further
evidence was needed.
Many a man, It may as well be con
fessed, has achieved a fair degree of
success In life by the simple process of
being born Into a rich family, Inherit
ing a fortune, and holding on to It
Even President Roosevelt has his lim
itations. He can settle fights between
nations and do other things that are
worth talking about, but he can't make
Congress spell according to Andrew
Carnegie.
Japan has quit buying British loco
motives and is now making her pur
chases from Germany and the United
States. Some of the joints in the
Anglo-Japanese alliance are likely to be
severely strained now.
"There are," says the Indianapolis
Star, "thousands of happy homes for
which the trial marriage possesses no
charm. Turn the husband and wife
loose, and they would marry twice as
quick as before." Still it would per
haps be best not to take 'any needless
risk by turning them loose while gro
ceries are high.
Every small boy In the country has
built a "scooter" by nailing an upright
stick to a barrel stave, and then used It
for coasting. As a young lady who
used to ride on one remarked, "They
go like a whiz-button." An enterpris
ing manufacturer has put on the mar
ket an elaborate sco,oter which he calls
a "snow-bike," but it Is not likely that
It will go any faster thun the home
made article.
After all is said It must be conced
ed that the apparent disregard for hu
man life In the United States Is large
ly a tribute to progress and to the In
dustries that constitute prosperity.
Even fatal railroad accidents, the
largest Item In the list, can not be
wholly eliminated, though they can and
Cught to be greatly reduced In num
ber. But railroad accidents are only
one Item In the list of nnnuiil fatalities.
There are fatal accidents In mining,
building, manufacturing and agricul
ture. They all claim their victims as a
sort of tribute to progress, though a
very costly one. Carefully compiled
statistics show that in the five great
Industries of railroading, mining, build
ing, manufacturing and agriculture no
less than 530,105 persons are annually
killed or Injured In the United States.
This is at the rate of over o,ne a min
ute, and It Includes only a few of the
largest Industries.
A characteristic piece of evidence
which goes to sustalu the contention
that the average American, at least, is
on honorable and upright man comes
from San Francisco. The railroads,
appreciating the dire distress of the
people In the city following the dread
ful earthquake, sold tickets to points
outside of San Francisco to all who
asked, simply requiring those who had
no money to give the ticket agent some
sort of acknowledgment that the ticket
had been furnished and containing a
promise to pay for the same just as
soon as holder's financial condition
would permit More than $00,000 worth
of thla kind ot transportation was fur
nished by the railroads, and over $33,
000 worth of scrip containing the prom
ise to pay has been redeemed. Wa
read a great deal these days about the
unfeeling robbery of "widows and or
phans" by the big corporations; we
read of railroads grabbed and unwar
ranted advances In the necessities of
life, but of the plain, everyday, good
old American citizen, who sees his
name In print perhaps half a dozen
times In his life, and then In nonpareil
type, we hear very little. And yet he
Is the finest product of this great re
public. A retired field officer has expressed
his belief that four-fifths of the field
officers of the line would retire to-day
If they could "because of the unrest
and unhappiness In the army." Such
general unhappiness and unrest would
seem to argue a variety of causes; no
special reason can be given why the
life of the officer In the army has lost
Its attractiveness to so great a ma
jority of those who lead it. In a time
of peace, with not a speck of war cloud
anywhere In sight, when promotions
are slow and advancement Is apparent
ly hopeless ; In a time of great commer
cial prosperity when fortunes seem to
be easily made and when millionaires
are as abundant as the well to do men
of a few years ago, It Is perhaps not
surprising that the officer on small pay
Is dissatisfied with bis lot and believes
that all he needs Is the opportunity to
Jump Into a fortune. It Is true also
that an officer with social qualities has
many friends among the civilians who
are ready to assist him In any busi
ness longings and to encourage him to
change his life. More than this, there
are not a few men In the army whose
training and qualifications attract the
attention of corporations and business
men,' and whose services are eagerly
snapped up whenever an opportunity to
profit by this training presents Itself.
Such men seem, therefore, to have an
Incentive to leave the army. On the
other hand, there are those who should
wisely let well enough alone. If there
are hundreds or thousands of million
aires and men who are apparently on
the safe road to wealth, there are also
thousands of those who have fallen
miserably by the wayside. Though a
man may serve faithfully and credit
ably In the army, It does not follow
that he may leave at any time and ac
quire millions. Indeed, tlw converse of
the proposition is more likely to be
the truer. The army has Its advant
ages even In time of peace. The living
Is assured and the pay Is regular. Fur
ther than this, the officer who conforms
to regulations knows that he has no
worry for the future, and that his
reasonably grateful country will sup
port him though he lives many years
after the period of retirement If his
pay Is not large It Is at least adequate
for his support and an officer of the
army, who Is also a gentleman, has a
dignified standing In society that Is
not without Its compensatory value,
Doubtless the wave of commercial pros
perlty and the continued assertion of so
many "business chances" have not a
little to do with such unrest and un
happiness as have been specified. But
it Is ' probable that the retired officer
quoted has overstated his case and that
no such general dissatisfaction pre
vails. Uncle Sam is not a grinding
taskmaster, and his servants are al
ways sure of their money.
Treata Them aa Children.
A New York police Justice has dls
covered a sure method of dealing with
big schoolboys and young college fel
lows who create trouble In public
places and then plead "fun" and the
baby act when apprehended. He takes
them at their word and treats them as
babies.
A lot of young fellows attending the
City College engaged In a series of an
noying stunts on a subway platform.
When arrested they took the usual
stand of youthful Innocence, with the
usual youthful plea. .
"All right," said Justice Olmsted.
"If you are young children who know
no better I will treat you as such. You
are remanded In care of the Children's
Society."
There was some lively kicking from
the husky young fellows, but an officer
took them to the rooms of the society,
where for several days they were pen
ned In with real children and fed on
childish diet When again brought
Into court they were fined $3 each. At
the college they are now known as "the
baby squad." Cleveland Leader.
The Family Honor.
"Bobby," asked the teacher of
class In arithmetic, addressing
the
the
question to one of the younger pupils,
"how many pints are there la a gal-
Ion?" "I've forirot it again, ma'am."
said Bobby, who found It hard to com
mit to memory the tables of weights
and measures.
Thlnklug that perhnps by turning
from the abstract to the concrete sue
might succeed better in stimulating his
power of recollection, the teacher tried
another trick.
"Bobby," she said, "your father is a
milkman, Isn't he?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Well, now, think as hard as you
can. He sometimes sells a gallon can
full of milk, doesn't he? Just so.
Well, when he does, how many pints of
milk are there in that gallon can?"
"It's all milk, ma'am," indignantly
exclaimed Bobby.
Makin Batter la Armenia.
Butter In Armenia is made in churns
suspended by ropes from the rafters
and shaken from side to side by the
women.
When a man is particularly dlsa -
greeable, there are those who say: "lie
baa great strength of character."
GOOD
ilSbontofles
Oliver Herford. who is equally fa
mous as a poet Illustrator and bril
liant wit was entertaining four mag
azine editors at luncheon when the bell
rang, and a .maid entered with the
mail "Ah," said an editor, "an epl
tie." "No," said Mr. Herford. tearing
open the envelope ''not an epistle, a
collect"
Walking about bis estate Mr. Dives
baited a laborer who was digging a
drain, and solemnly Inquired If he were
ready to die. The man admitted that
he hadn't thought of passing away Just
yet "But every time I breathe, a man
dies," solemnly remarked the million
aire In tones' of terrible warning.
"Gee!" cried the unmoved laborer,
"why don't you chew a few cloves?"
"If I go on trial," said the prisoner,
"do I have to sit here and hear all the
hypothetical questions asked by the
lawyers?" "Certainly," said the Judge.
"And hear all the handwriting ex
perts?" "Of course." "And follow the
reasoning of the chemistry and Insan
ity experts?" "Very probably," said
the Judge. "Well, then, Judge, I will
enter my plea." "What Is It?" asked
the Judge. "Guilty!"
M. Deverne was waiting at a station
In Ireland for his train. Two Irish
men entered and engaged In the follow
ing conversation: "Sure, Pat, It's down
to Kllmary I've been, on nie way back
now to Kll-Patrick." "Arrah, musha,
Mike, it's meself that's Just after com
ing from being down to Kil-Kenny,
stopped a bit before I go down to Kil
Moore." "I say, Pat, let us take the
day and go down to Kil-Maule." "Ye
gods," exclaimed the Frenchman, "what
assassins. Would that I were back in
France."
A yellow-haired descendant of the
Vikings walked Into the office of a
prominent attorney the other day and
said: "Ay want you to make some
papers out Ay buy a farm In Powell
Valley, and ay tank ay want a mort
gage." "Wny do you want a mort
gage," exclaimed the lawyer, "if you
bought the farm? Don't you want a
deed?" "No, ay tank not Sax years
ago ay buy a farm and getta deed and
neder fellar come along with a mort
gage and tak da farm. Ay tank ay
tak a mortgage."
Henry Arthur Jones, the noted En
glish playwright was giving the stu
dents of Yale an address on the drama,
"Yur American vernacular Is pictur
esque," he said, "and it should help
your playwrights to build strong, racy
plays. But neither vernacular nor any
thing else Is of moment if perseverance
is lacking. No playwright can succeed
who Is like, a man I know. I said to
this man, one New Year's Day: 'Do
you keep a diary, Philip?' 'Yes,' he
answered. 'I've kept one for tho first
two weeks in January for the last sev
en years.' "
A record-breaker In absent-minded
ness Is certainly a Paris citizen, who
appeared the other day before a mag
lstrate to ask for a marriage license.
He answered correctly and without
hesitation all the questions as to his
name, age and occupation, but when
asked for the name of bis finance he
became embarrassed, and finally replied
dejectedly that he had entirely forgot
ten to ask her for It. This, remarks a
Boulevard paper, recalls the distraction
of the famous fable poet, La Fontaine,
Meeting one day In a salon a young
man, be was so favorably impressed
by his conversation that he expressed
his admiration for him In the most
flattering terms. "But he is your own
son!" exclaimed a guest In astonish
ment "Is It so?" replied the poet;
"then I am the more delighted to make
his acquaintance."
A Queer Play in Baseball.
Here Is a play In baseball that hap
pened long ago. Perhaps It never will
! happen .again. Did any one ever hear
'of a base runner scoring from first
'base on a line drive that was caught
by a third baseman and when the ball
never left the third baseman's baud?
The play happened in this way: Andy
Moynlhan was playlug third base for
the Pastimes of Chicago In 1803 when
a tournament was held. The Occiden
tals of Peoria were the opposing team.
In the first inning, with a runner on
j first, the batter drove a liner straight
over third. Moynlhan shoved up his
hand, the ball struck It and stuck fast
in the hand. The crowd cheered. An
Instant later they saw something was.
wrong. Moynlhan, writhing with pain.
was running around third base. The.
base runner at first saw something was
"the matter and ran down to second.
Then he ran to third and finally trotted J
home unmolested.
The trouble was that the ball, strik
ing Moynlhan's band, paralyzed the
nerves. The ball was stuck tight In
his hand. It was five minutes before
his fellow players could pry his fingers :
open aud get the ball out Chicago
Tribune.
Stoat Fighters.
The kind of men who don't know
"nen tneyre wnippea are very mucn
like postage stamps."
1 "In what respect?"
' "They stick the better for a licking."
j Baltimore American.
I
' rerhaps the best way to avoid t!ie
disappointments o,f love is never to fall
in.
S. F. Sharp
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON
Special .attention given to all
calls, both night and day.
Calli promptly nwered. Offioa on Third
Street. Athena. Oregor
X THE v '
ST. NICHOLS HOTEL
J. E. FROOME, mop.
If?
Only First-class Hotel in
the City.
THE ST. NICHOLS
Is the only one that can accommodate
- oommai-ulal travelers.
Can be i women ded for Its clean and
well ventilated rooms.
Cob. Main and Third, Atvxna, Or. 4
GOiiEROIAL
LIVERY STABLE
HARRY M'BSIDE, MANAGER
Best Stock and Rigs in the City.
' Competent Drivers.
Stock Boarded by the Day, Week
or Month at Reasonable Rate. '
NORTH SIDE STREET. ATHEAH, ORE
Oregon
Shot Line
em Union Pacific
Through Pullman standard and keeping
cars daily to Omaha, Chicago; tourist sleeping
car daily to Kansas City; through Pullman
lounsi sleeping cars, personally conducted,
Weekly to Chicago, with free reclining
chair cars, seats free, to the east dally irom
Pendleton. .
U" 0
ARRIVE TIMK SCHEDULES J"PABT
Dally. ATHENA, ORE. Dally. 1
Walla Walla, Day- ' '
ton, Porneroy, Lew
iston, Colfax, Pull- ..
11-65 a. m, man, Moscow, the ":.'"
jouer d'Alene dis
trict, Spokane and
all points north.
' Walla Walia Pen- rTr
12:30 p m dieton Mixed
Fast Mall for Pen-
dieton, LaUrande,
Baker City, and all
points eiHt via Huu
tington, Ore., Also
for Umatilla, HePP
4:53 p m- ner. The Dalles, 4:53 p. m
Portland, Astoria,
Willamette Valley
Points, California.
Tacoma, Seattle, all
Sound Points.
Pendleton - Walla 6:30 p m
Walla Mixed
J. S. loble Agent,
y . Athena
To)
Jo)
n
The Original Laxatlva Cough, Syrup containing Honey and Tar. An Improvement over all Cough,
Lung and Bronchial Remedies. Pleasant to the taste and good alike far young and old. All cough
yrupa containing opiate constipate tho bowels. Bee's Laxative Honey and Tar moves tho bowels
nVontolns no opiates, prepared by PINE-VLE MEDICINE COMPANY. CHICAGO. U. S. A.
SOLD IN ATHENA AT HAWK'S PIONEER DRUG STORE
rxn cr,.v m (srr?rnw sr ?w
UvJb JJ yuyvv y. iiU 11 u
1 P i S- 'ii v" .r umnm mm
mm BL-, a m ii w mm i 11 . a x." a s m , ei it n m-a bmi r. 11
I I mm Ka anl BMOWBk- aWk MM H H 61 "WPkk BffU,l WU Si PI IS if
II M-W-.HUUU m I m mat W kat 1 m I W
PnEOQODIfl-" COQSUUPTIITr
II, : ,1!
Ill t
' Two years at a severe cold settled on my lungs and so
III I
unable to work and scarcely able to stand. I then was advised to try Dr. King's New Discovery, and
after using one bottle I went back to work, as well as I ever was."
W. J. ATKINS, Banner Springs, Tenn.
PRICE 50C
I (I
'Saving at the Spigot
Wasting at the Bung"
It covers more surface,
longer than any other prepared paint, or hand-mixed
lead and oil.
CALL
COLOR
Umatilla Lumber Yard
THE TUM-ra LUMBER CO.
JA.CK WEIR, MANAGER
Athena, Oregon (
Building Material and
Fuel
Yards at Walla Walla, Touchet and Lowdon, Wash ,
and Athena, Adams and Freewater, Oregon..
BaBflB-B--BBBECBeagaaBtB Bfl-BBBt-
J ESTABLISHED 1865
i Preston-Parton billing Go. :
a : ;
s . S
Flour is made in Athena, by Athena labor, in the latest
and best equipped mill in the west, of the best selected
Bluestem wheat grown any where. Patronize home
industry. Your grocer sells American Beauty for
Merchant Millers and Grain Bayers
Waitsburg, Wash.
BSB3E4
CONTAINING
ie.ua xnucnoul TO NATION -L
SOLD AND GUARANTEED
j F at in . 11 1 1 .1111. .I'M. ii.iibim.jh m m,.patt.iimntjmn .....
.DR. EOT'S
W. M. McBAIDE
That's what buying poor paint
means. Paint may be low
priced by the gallon and be
extravagant to use owing to
to it's poor covering power
and wearing quality. After
the paint is applied it's too late
to save. Start right and use
The Sherwin-Williams Paint
MADE TO PAINT BUILDINGS
WITH, OUTSIDE AND INSIDE.
spreads easier, and lasts
FOR
CARDS
per Sack I
Athena, Oregon
..-
ivvBBV-ivaii-iiviVBF
PURE FOOD AND DRUQ LAW.
completely prostrated me that I was
AND Sl.00
BY JZ