V
DECEITFUL CALM.
The winds are still! The sea lies all on
troubled . Beneath a cloudless sky! The mora is
bright,
Tet, Lord, I feel my need of Thee redoubled.
Come nearer to me in this blaze of light!
The night must fall the storm will break at
length
Oh, give me strength!
Bo well, so well I know the treacherous seem
ing Of days like this! They are too heavenly
fair.
Those waves that laugh like happy children
dreaming,
Are mighty forces, brewing some despair
For thoughtless hearts! And ere the hour of
need
Let mine take heed.
Joy cannot last. It must give place to sor
row As certainly as solar systems roll;
I would not wait till that time comes, to bor
row The strength prayer offers to the suffering
soul
Here in the sunlight, yet undimmed by shade,
I cry for aid.
I dare not lightly drain the cup of pleasure,
Though Thine the hand that proffers me
the draught;
Such bitter lees lie lower in the measure
I shall need courage ere the potion's
quaffed:
Then strengthen me, before that time befall,
To drink the gall.
I need Thee in my joys and my successes,
To make me humbly grateful and not vain;
I need Thee when the weight of sorrow
presses
The tortured heart that cries aloud in pain;
So close great pleasure and great anguish
lie
Oh, God, come nigh !
Ella Wheeler Wilcox, in Good Cheer.
GIVING LESSONS.
Miss Pandora Piper, teacher f music,
"who had hard work to keep soul and
body together, but was not unhappy, be
cause, as she said, she was never left
without a new spring bonnet, and one
black silk, somehow, always lasted until,
she managed to get a new one, received
a very singular note one morning a note
which had been handed in at the door,
the landlady's "girl" said, by an "elderly
gentleman."
The epistle was enveloped in the cost
liest and most richly decorated envelope
to be procured for love or money any
where. The paper, nearly as thick as
cardboard, was to match. A coat of
arms was in the corner and the words
below were as follows :
Miss Piper: A Person of neglucked eder
cashun is wishful to be undertuck. "Will kali
at 3. Mister Sliger.
"My gracious !" ejaculated Miss Pan
dora; "he must have been neglected,
that's certain, I never saw anything like
that before in all my life! Fatally for
gotten, I should say. Well, I wonder
what he can be like. He must be rich,
I suppose. Poor people can't afford
euch stationery as this. And a coat of
arms, too ! Shoddy, I suppose ; but so
that he's respectful, why should I care
for that? He will probably pay well,
and I've lost Anne Eliza Griggs by mar
riage, jutt as she was beginning to take
variations.
"Nora, I shall be in if a new pupil a
gentleman calls at 3 o'clock."
Nora, who liked Miss Piper, who often
gave her little presents and who kept on
an upper shelf of her closet some sooth
ing balsam which she was always ready
to apply to the poor girl's awkward fin
gers, which were always being cut or
burnt or pinched in something, gave an
amiable grin and offered to polish up the
grate when she had a minute, "seeing a
stranger was coming."
The morning wore away. Two little
girls had gone through their exercises
and a heavy lady who took lessons in
vocal music had nearly burst a blood
vessel in endeavoring to gain a certain
high note, which was the object of her
ambition.
Miss Piper had been around the cor
ner to give a lesson there and over the
way to see to another pupil's practicing.
She came home in a hurry, arranging
her hair, saw that the little parlor was
neat and awaited her guest with feverish
anxiety.
At last he came.
Nora showed some one upstairs and
there entered at the door an elderly gen
tleman of benign appearance, dressed in
the latest fashion, but not without regard
to his age, who, bowing low, remarked :
"I hope I am not late, mum. I know
your time must be very valuable."
"I am sure I only wish everybody was
as punctual," said Miss Piper. "It is
exactly 3 o'clock."
"You're very kind, mum," said the
gectleman, seating himself, as Miss Pi
per motioned him to a chair. "I'm an
oldish pupil, I suppose you think; but
I'll explain. I think I've explained in
my note, but I'll explain again. I've
been neglected, not from any unkind
ness for my poor mother did the best
she could for me but we were very
poor. I don't wish to mention the hum
ble position I've always occupied until a
year ago, when somebody came from
England and hunted me up. Mother
was dead, poor dear ! but this is how it
was: Father was very rich and up in the
world, mother was a housemaid. He
married her and his mother was furious,
and mother couldn't stand it. She ran
away ; she came here, and lived an hon
est, hard-working life. It was only when
she died that she told me my name was
not Noggings, but Sliger, and that she
had written to my father, or got some
lawyer to write, and he was dead, too,
and I came into the property and left
the humble position 1 won't allude to,
and well, I'm rich, but I don't know
anything, and before I go to England, 1
want to be educated. You understand?"
"It's a very laudable ambition, I'm
sure," said Miss Piper. "I usually teach
music, but, of course, I can undertake
the English branches."
"Yes, mum," replied the gontleman,
hastily, "I want to begin with music
the pyanner. I have never known any
one in high bf e who could not play upon
the pyanner. Begin with that and go
on to spelling, which I am conscious
that I sadly need."
It was not the usual course, but there
wa3 a serious and dignified manner about
this "neglected" person that made it
impossible for Miss Piper to say so. She
mentioned her terms and set the hours
for the lessons, and so skilfully empha
sized the name of the instrument that
Mr. Sliger before his departure had
begun to call it "the peearno " instead
of the "pyanner."
At the door, however, he gave her a
dreadful shock.
"I wish, mum," he remarked, "to
begin with tunes."
Miss Piper was a conscientious little
teacher, but she felt that there were peo
ple in this world who must have their
own way, and Mrs. Sliger's first lesson
consisted of the " White Cockade."
He had a very good ear; he was anx
ious to learn. From the "White Cock
ade" he went on to "Life Let Us
Cherish," and poor guilty Miss Piper,
who felt that the notes had very little to
do with his performance, beat time and
counted. . "
Meanwhile she found that, leaving
education out of the question, the man
was very sensible that he was very
kindly and amiable. Once corrected in
the pronunciation of a word, he never
became a backslider on that question.
However, it was he who arranged every
thing, not his teacher.
As other lessons were added the neg
lected person set the hours for them;
finally he had six hours a day, All the
pupils were dismissed but one. The
spelling lesson, the lesson on geogrraphy,
the lesson in history, followed each other.
All the week days were his.
Poor Miss Piper had no power to say
him nay. He paid well, he treated her
with actual reverence; but the last
pupil went when he elected to copy
some very flat "flower pieces" which
Miss Piper had executed in early youth
and call this a lesson in painting. He
had all her weekdays at last. He cer
tainly had improved in pronunciation,
but Miss Piper felt herself to be a hum
bug. What they really did was to spend
the dny together exactly as he chose.
Playing with educational books, thump
ing the piano, daubing bristle-board
with impossible flowers, scrambling
through the lessons in French, of which
Miss Piper had had a quarter from a
Swiss "gentleman. For a long time she
was alone on Sunday and usually went
to the Methodist church, to which she
belonged; but Mr. Sliger soon altered
that. He began by asking her whether
they had " these vespers of theirs at the
cathedral, on Sunday morning? And
when she instructed him that the "ves
pers" were in the later part of the day,
said he would call for her.
Accordingly she went to vespers at the
cathedral in the afternoon and after that
regularly three times a day to different
churches.
It was then that the landlady thought
it her duty to call.
She appeared in Miss Pandora Piper's
apartment at the awful hour of 10, ma
jestic in her crimping pins, and with a
very serious countenance, and was wel
comed in with a smile by the little music-
teacher.
"Good evening, Miss Grimm," said
she, "I haven't had a call from you for
a very long while."
"No, Miss Piper, you haven't," said
Mrs. Grimm with emphasis. "You
couldn't expect me to call after such car
rying on.''
"Why, what do vou mean, Mrs.
Grimm?" ejaculated Miss Piper.
"Can you ask, ranaora ripen" an
swered the landlady, in her deepest
chest-note. "I he whole neighborhood is
talkin' about you."
"About me!" screamed Miss Piper.
"You and that man," said the land
lady.
"My pupil, Mr. Sliger !" sobbed Miss
Piper, now fairly in tears.
"lour pupil? Don t tell me," said
Mrs. Grimm. "Mis3 Pandora. Piper, I
shall be obliged to put up a bill for my
second floor. You've got to go."
"Oh, oh, oh!" cried Pandora. "Can
you think any harm oi mcf hy, you
could come in at any moment. Nora is
in and out every now and then. Such a
respectable elderly gentleman, and such
a correct person as 1 am !"
"It isn't me, Pandora," said 3Irs.
Grimm, quite melted. "It's the neigh
borhood. The church-going (if it is
church) finished 'em. You're of age this
long while, my dear; you ought to know
how to behave ; but I can't countenance
this. I shall put up the bill. Oh, oh,
oh. Pandora! that "it should come to
this!" i
Poor Miss Pandora!
As her friend and landlady walked out
of the door with her handkerchief to her
eyes, she stood motionless as ttiough
turned to a pillar of salt.
She saw just how this repair of
neglected education must appear to her
small circle of discarded pupils, and felt
a strong desire to drown herself or jump
ont of the window, or turn on the gas
or take a box of matches in her tea, and
she might actually, it seemed to her
afterward, have died of mortification,
but that the gong at the front door, pull
ed violently at this moment, startled her,
and Nora, running up, wrapped in a
waterproof cloak, for she had been mak
ing preparations to go to bed, announced:
" "Mr. Sliger!"
"He can't come up," said Pandora,
"at this hour of the night."
"No, miss; he asks for you to coma
down," said Nora.
Pandora went down.
, Mr. Sliger was at the door.
"There's a telescope at the corner," he
said; "something going on in some star
or other, I believe. Get a bonnet and
shawl, and come and have a peep. It
will be a lesson in astronomy for me.
You can explain' it, you know same
terms as the "other lessons."
Pandora without a word obeyed.
- r'ie door closed after the two, leaving
Mrs. Grimm staring at Nora.
That's the capsheaf," said the lady.
"Shall I sit up for them i" asked
Nora.
"No," said Mrs. Grimm. "I will."
Meanwhile Miss Pandora and Mr. Sliger
peeped through the telescope and saw
the rings of Saturn, which" Mr. Sliger
supposed to be phenomenal and tempor
ary, and which were explained by Miss
Pandora to be fixtures, and then ad
journed to an ice cream saloon of much
elegance.
This, indeed, was deperate dissipation,
Miss Pandora said to herself, as she sat
before the cut-glass goblets on the da
mask cloth, and saw the water splash
from the little fountain in the center into
the aquarium and over the glossy plants,
all reflected in the long mirrors. How
ever, what did it matter ? She was al
ready "talked about," turned out of her
lodgings as a person who had gone
wrong. She would keep this mewy mo
ment to remember when she had put an
end to all by saying to the neglected pu
pil that she could no longer impart in
struction to him.
He was ordering every indigestible
luxury on the bill of fare, the diamond
on his little finger flashing like a small
sun, obsequious waiters bobbing about
behind them. He looked kindly at her,
and asked her if she liked this or that.
He was as simple as an old baby ; as kind
as an old lady; and he was a nice, pleas
ant looking man.
' 'All over ! All over !" she said to her
self. "I might have known what a
wicked world this is, and how ill it
thinks of innocent things. Why might
not I go on teaching him for ever with
out harm?"
People were coming in from concerts,
from the theatres; tables were filling;
but theirs between two columns beyond
the fountain, was very quiet.
The waiters were gone to execute Mr.
Sliger's behests. Suddenly he turned to
her, and took a letter from his pocket.
"Miss Piper," he said, "read that."
Pandora opened the missive and pe
rused it.
It was from a firm of lawyers speaking
in plain terms of Mr. St. Leger as a gen
tleman, and a man of honor and fortune.
"I got 'em to give it to me," he said,
"to show you."
"I did not need it, indeed," said Pan
dora, sadly. "And this is the way your
name is really spelt? St. Leger! It's a
beautiful name."
"It sounds a little curious to me," he
said. "Mother wrote it Sliger. I never
knew, but, you see, I'm all right. They'
never took me without a character when
I went for a place in the poor times and
I couldn't expect you to take me with
out a character, either. I I don't know
whether you despise mc for my ignorance
or not, but if you don't, why 1 want you
to take me for your pupil for life to
marry me, you' know, Pandora. " Will
you?"
It was a dreadful thing to do in such
a public place, but Pandora Piper felt
that she was going to faint the room
grew black.
She held out her hand for the glass of
water. Most of it was spilt upon the
front breadth of her new black silk, but
that which passed her lips revived her.
Then a sweet, soft sense that there was
no more trouble for her in this world,
crept into her heart and she smiled up at
him.
"It was in my mind the first day I
came," he said. "I had seen you often
through the window when you gave les
sons to that little girl at Bell's. I used
to watch you with my opera-glass. I felt
sure you were just the woman for me and
every lesson you gave me proved it. I
shall learn everything from you good
ness as well as spelling. Oh, say 'Yes!'
I want vou ! I want you I"
She sail, "Yes."
Mrs. Grimm was sitting up for her,
pale with wrath, when she returned; but
Pandora took her by both hands, and
caid :
"You won't turn me out until after my
wedding day, will you, dear? You'll let
me be married here. It's next week. Mr.
St. Leger won't wait. You see, we will
have to go to England and live on the
estate. And, after all, a poor little teach
er needs no great preparation."
"Servants and diamonds, and a coun
try house and a city house, and every
thing heart can wish," Mrs. Grimm says,
in telling the story. "A real, great lady
now. It's like a romance."
And Pandora, happy with her good,
simple husband in her new surroundings,
often thinks so herself.
There were in round numbers one hun
dred thousand men in the army that
conquered Mexico, and the entire losses
did not exceed twenty per cent., leaving
eighty thousand men of the average age
of twenty-eight years discharged in
1847.
The new State department at Wash.
i ington has one hundred and fifty rooms,
and cost $5,000,000.
The vale of the butter made in the
State of New York annually is estimated
at over $56,000,000.
If the past has been reasonable, the
last ten years are likely to be the happiest
of our lives.
A four-in-hand The piano
Boston Courier.
duet.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES.
Saved Just in Time.
"Sukey," gently asked Mrs.
goober, of her daughter: "did Mr
Fitz-Girl-
masher propose last nirhtl"
"No, ma; but he got mighty clpse to
it, and then you ruined it just as he was
about to drop on his knees."
"How did I ruin it?"
"He began speaking how much I re
sembled pa."
"Well."
"And I told him I might look like pa.
but that I got my disposition from you."
"What did he say then?"
"He didn't say anything; just as I
said that we both heard you down pa
with a poker, and poor Mr. Girlmasher
fled. He couldn't stand the racket."
Housewife and the Foolish Rooster.
A Housewife walking in the Barnyard
one day, said :
"I wonder which is the Fattest and
nicest of these Fowls."
Hearing which, several young Roosters,
desiring to "show off" their charms and
exalt themselves before the Pullets, came
forward, each making vainful boasts to
a better condition than his Fellows, and
one of them, more Foolish than the
others, crowded to the Front and said :
"Fortunately I am able to Prove what
I say," and he lifted a wing and swelled
himself out to his greatest extent, ex
claiming:. "I am by far the finest fowl
of the lot!"
"That's a fact," remarked the House
wife, and she straightway wrung his
neck and made a nice stew of him for
dinner.
Moral Pride goeth before a fall.
Pack.
A Humorist's Advice to Young Writers.
In response to a letter from Mr. K. C.
Tapley (no relation of Mark Tapley), of
Indiantown, N. B., 3Ir. Bill Nye gives
the following warning and chunk of ad
vice to young writers :
Bill Nye's Winter Resort, )
P. O. Box, 406, Hcdsox, Wis. j
TW k Sri Win.. fair rsP V lOrk ;,t-t
with inclosure, was received, and the 4 4 baled
hav " mailed herewith.
I do not generally advis young men to
monkey with literature, but you seem to have
been moderately successful so far, and it
might be well to eive it a thoroush trial.
You should use great care, however, in se
lecting the field of literature which you intend
io perspire in.
Do not be a humorist! If you are a humor
ist everybody else will have more fun out of
it than you will. You will make some money
out of it if you get the genuine afflatus, but
vou won t nave any fun. Humorists do not
nave fun. It is all a mistake. I am acquaint
ed witn one, ana he says he Has not smiled
smce he lost his twins. Once I heard of i
humorist who had laughed twice in one sum
mer, and I hunted him out.
He was not a humorist, but had some other
trouble, the name of which has escaped my
minu. x ours truiy. asill jnye.
Eatin? a Girl.
Few people who have never been on
the verge of starvation can realize what
the pangs of hunger will bring a man to.
There are people who board at cheap
boarding-houses who have some faint
realization of hunger, as is shown when
they take a meal at a hotel. Then they
reach for everything that is in their sight,
and their eyes roll in frenzy, and you
can watch them and imasrine what they
would do if hard pressed and no food
for ten days, lught here at home there
have been narrow escapes . from canni
balism when trains have been snowed in
for a week. Only a couple of years ago
a train was snowed in the west of St.
Paul, and for four days there was no
food except the cotton waste that is
used to oil the engines and a barrel of
6hell oysters. After all the food was
gone, and the traveling men had eaten
the leathern fire buckets and chewed the
sustenance out of the plush cushions, they
held a consultation in the baggage-car,
and decided to kill and eat a girl in the
rear coach. She was about twenty years
old, a school teacher by profession, rosy
cheeked, and just about the right age to
eat. The boys appointed a young fellow
who was traveling for a Milwaukee
house to go to the girl and tell her that
they had decided to eat her, and to get
her consent. It is a delica:e thing for a
young man to do to go and tell a girl
he has been flirting with three days in a
snow storm that the boys have decided
to eat her, but the law among traveling
men is severe, and the young man had
to obey. He went in the coach with a
sinking heart and a smile, sat down be
side her and told her he had a pro
posal to make, and, with a smile that
was worth two in the bush, she told him
she had mistrusted something of the
kind ever since he squeezed her hand the
evening before, when they were playing
casino. He said the proposition he was
about to make was the harder from the
fact that he had learned in the past few
days to love her as he had never loved
another woman, but in times like these
we must stifle our feelings and do our
duty, and a tear came to his eye as he
looked at the rich red cheek and the
clear blue eye. ne said the proposal he
was about to make was one that might
strike her as peculiar. She said that
was all right. There was no use beat
ing about the bush, and if he wanted
her to marry him she. did not see
any objection, and when they got back
to St. Paul she would throw up her posi
tion, and they would be married at once.
The young man was slightly taken back,
but he said that was all right, and he
would be the happiest man on earth, and
he threw his arms around her neck and
began kissing her. The traveling men
in the baggage car were looking through
the door at the young fellow and the
girl and wondering if he was going to
be all winter about it, and when the taw
him kissing her, thev thought his
huuger had overcome him and he was
taking a meal out of the best place, and
it made them mad and they went in the
car to remonstrate with him. When
they got to the rear of the car he had
quit kissing her, and she had opened a
big basket filled with cold chicken and!
everything good, and had spread a!
lunch, and as they came along she said:
"Gentlemen, assist' us at our wedding
breakfast. Your friend and myself are?
to be married when we get to St. Paul."'
The boys took hold and helped eat the)
lunch, congratulated the young fellow 1
though they reprimanded him for turn-'
mg traitor at a serious moment, but he
pulled out a box of cigars and they'
smoked a little time, when a relief en
gine was heard to whistle, and in an'
hour the stalled train hauled out of the
snow drift and on the way to St. Paul,
ana that evemns the cannibal and hi
victim were married and the assistant'
cannibals were witnesses. The vounr'
people are keeping house now, and no'
doubt the stories of Greely and his men'
will cause them to remember the great'
snow-storm when they came so near eat-'
ing each other. Peck's Sun.
Appearances are Deceitful.
The Signor de Rabata could not have
been called a handsome man, even by his
dearest friends. He was small and mis
formed ; he had a flat face, and a nose
much like that of a terrier doer. In a
word, this gentleman was so hideous
that, search as one might, it would have
been impossible to find one worse fa
vored, except, perhaps, in the person of
the famous painter, Giotto, who, at all!
events was scarcely less ugly,
Despite this unattractive appearance
the Signor de Rabata was a very learned
person, and wras respected by the
scholars of the day as the greatest judge
on every point of civil law.
These two men, the ugly judge and
the ugly artist, lived in the same village
not far from Florence at the time of my
story. i
One day, as they were riding in com
pany thence to the city, each being bad
ly mounted and shabbily attired, they,
were surprised by a heavy rain which
forced them to seek shelter in a peasant'!
hut. The downpour continuing, the
friends grew impatient. Therefore, as
they knew the man beneath whose roof
they were sheltering, they borrowed
some clothes of him. He could
only offer an old rough cloak of gray
felt and a very bad and ragged1
hat, which; however, the gentlemen ac
cepted. . Thus equipped they continued
their way. After a while the storm,
abated, and they fell into conversation.
Giotto talked extremely well, no matter
what might be the subject, and, as Sig
nor de Rabata listened, he reflected that
this was indeed a gifted man. Never
theless, as he surveyed the painter from
head to foot, his ugliness in the borrowed
clothing was so striking that he could
not refrain from bursting into a laugh.
Feeling obliged to explain, he said : h
"Master Giotto, imagine if any one
met us who had never seen or heard of
you. Think you that such a one would
take you for the greatest painter in the
world?"
"Yes, sir," replied Giotto, promptly.
"I think this might bo possible, if the
same person, in examining you from top
to toe, was able to credit you with know
ing more than the letters of the alphabet."
I he judge was confounded, for, in
ridiculing his companion he had not real
ot real- .
equally!
lzed tl
absurd
ized that his own aspect was
"I was impudent," said he, humbly.
"You have taught me now that one must
never ridicule others when one can one's
self furnish abundant matter for ridicule
also." All the Tear Hound.
A Pen-and-ink Counterfeit.
"Look at that," said the man in
charge of room 35, the office of the treas
ury secret service at V ashmgton, to a
Chicago Times correspondent, as he took
from a drawer and handed to the corre
spondent what appeared to be a $20
greenback. "If a man owed you $20
and offered you that bill in payment you
would take it and perhaps be glad to
et it, wouldn't you lhat bill is a
counterfeit and a good one, too. and
what makes it the greatest curiosity we
have here is the fact that it was made
entirely with a pen.
"It is, indeed, a piece of master
workmanship. Every line and dot, with
all the varying shades of green, black
and red, are reproduced with a skill that
appears little short of marvelous. It
bears that familiar signature, seemingly
genuine, of John C. New.
"That bill," said he, " was doubtless
in circulation for years, defying the scru
tiny of bank tellers and cashiers. It was
sent to the treasury two or three yeara
ago for redemption, and there it was de
tected. Whoever made that was a smart
fellow and deserves a credit mark. There
are several similar bills in circulation,
all, so far as we have discovered, $20
greenbacks, and made in precisely the
same way. Two others have come into
the treasury and been detected within
the past year, but I can't see where the
fellow's profit comes in. It seems im
possible for him to make one of these
without many days, perhaps weeks, of
patient labor, and then it's only $20;
but I admire his skill and perseverance."
" Why didn't he make it $100 or $500
instead of $20?"
"I suppose because he would be a
great deal less likely to pass it. It's
pretty hard to work off a counterfeit of
one of those large denominations. A
bill like this one will pass anywhere, ne
appears to be making a business of it, as
our experts have concluded that they are
all the work of the same hand. We "have
tried to trace them up, but have never
been able to get the slightest clue. In
my opinion he earns all he gets out of
it. I assume the treasury people are
ashamed of it, but it is a fact the first
one of those counterfeits that came in
was passed as genuine and actually re
deemed in gold. It was afterward dis
covered to be a counterfeit, and since that
time the others I mentioned have made
their appearance and been detected. I
say again, that's a smart chap ; I wish w
couia eaten him."
c