A FARMER'S SORROW.
The clouds look low and heavy, ai if there
would be rain;
It always means bad weather when yon bear
' the brook so plain.
The wet wcn't make much trouble now, for
all the crops are in,
And yet I somehow hate to see the long fall
rains begin.
I couldn't sense the half I read, the air is
close and still, ,
If I were young as once I was, I'd go up on
the hilL
It isn't as it used to be when I could come
and go,
JLnd keep upon my feet all day, now I am
stiff and slow.
here's nothin' in the paper; yon can take i
if you choose;
Iant make head nor tail of half they nowa
days call news.
I me to think the Farmer was head of al
the rest;
Twas full of solid common sense; I tell you
that's the best I
"What does a plain, old-fashioned man care
whether stocks go down?
Hy stock is all four-footed! but 'twill please
the folks in town,
Here's new machines preached every week
to help the folks that sell;
And fashions for the women folks, and other
trash as well.
'Twas readin' all tnk nonsense here, in
winter by the fire,
That made my boy get notions of the schools
and climbin' higher,
It used to be so snug and warm a stormy
winter's night,
With snow-clicks at the windows, and the
roarin' fire for light.
Bat there he set, all doubled up, a-storin
this away:
Beadin' and readin' till I said 'twas more
like toil than play;
Beadin' and readin' till I found he could n
work a stroke,
And couldn't hold the plough an hour, or
hardly lift a yoke.
It stole his mind from farmin', and he run
op tall and thin:
I fought him hard enough at first, but af te r
ward gave.
They got the minister to come, his mother
took his part,
Until I let them have their way, although it
broke my heart.
Twas well enough for them to talk, and I
wan't going to fight;
And then my mind got so distressed,! couldn't
sleep at night.
Polks talk of edi cation as If the Latin showed
A farmer how to cast account or how to
stack a load.
But, as I say, I had to cope with mother and
with Dan,
And then they got the minister, a good, well
meanin' man.
And Dan, he said, must have his chance, and
pretty soon I see
The book fools and the women folks would
be too much f orne.
60 Dan he got his schooling and never no
complaint;
"When I give in I don't take back, bu
'twould have tried a saint!
I never knew the crops to fail as fail they did
those years,
Or money be so hard to get, and I was full,
kem
all
a
re
it
se
17
Twas him that should have had the place;
'twas father's 'fore 'twas mine,
Tdlike to kep' it in the name; but I ain't
goin' to whine.
Mother she's had it pretty hard; we needed
Dan, that's true;
And I would keep him right at home if I be
gan life new.
Farmin's the honest work of men; if other
folks must thrive,
Seme of us ought to stay at home and keep
the farms alive.
Dan's kind of disappointed he sees he ain't
the first;
There want the makings of the best, and yet
w he ain't the worst.
They call him a good scholar; but there's
much he's learned in vain
If he don't think he'd farm it, If he could
start again.
Sarah Orn Jewett, in the Manhattan.
The prime minister of Turkey receive
$20,000 a year salary more than the prime
minister of JLngland.
A cow-horn on oxhibition at Monti-
cello, Fla., is reported to be four feet
eleven inches in length, and eighteen
jncneg arcana wc uase.
Uncle Joshua's Advice,
Reuben Brown was in love with black-
eyed Kittie Perkins there is no doubt
about it.
Kittie was the prettiest and at the
eame time the most coquettish girl in
Swanto, and, woman-like, was playing
'fast and loose" with poor Keuben.
Reuben had never openly avowed his
affection, though it was rapidly becom
ing "soulfully intense' when, after a par
ticularly exasperating interview with the
fair Kittie, he resolved to lay bare, ms
heart to his old Uncle Joshua, and seek
the latter's advice.
Uncle Joshua was, in fact, his nearest
relative, and lived only a short distance
from where Reuben was employed.
Reuben had done many little kindnesses
for the old man who, in return, felt al
most a father's interest in his welfare and
happiness ; so Reuben felt, when he went
to consult him concerning his tendresse,
that his advice would, though coming
from one who might almost be supposed
to have forgotten all about the gentle
passion, be sincere and thoughtful.
With this conclusion, Reuben, with a
very ''heart hungry" feeling the imme
diate result of the above mentioned in
terview with Kittie wended his way
slowly up to the little red house where
the old man lived. The last faint traces
of the sun's glory were rapidly fading
away in the horizon, the bright stars were
just commencing to twinkle merrily, and
all the air held "a solemn stillness," as if
waiting for night to draw more closely
"her sable mantle.1'
At such times, if ever, the human heart
turns to thoughts of love ; and Reuben's,
already turned in that direction, was ac
tually filled to overflowing with the gen
tle emotion. Could he have done so, he
would, without doubt, have woven the
most woeful ballads" to the fair Kittie's
eyebrows but he was no poet, so he sim
ply yearned.
As Keuben came up to the house he
found Uncle Josh, as he usually called
him, seated on the stoop. His chair was
tilted back ; his venerable head, fringed
with grav scanty locks, was bared to the
evening breeze; and, like the ill-fated
skipper of the Hesperus, "his pipe was m
his mouth."
"WaL Reuben,1 he said, as peering
through the deepening twilight, he dis
covered the love-sick youth approaching,
"haow de do? come right up and set
down. Anythin' newl"
"Nothing much," replied Reuben, me
chanically pulling up a rude chair bot
tomed with strips of rawhide, and seat
ing nimseu near oy.
"You ain't heared nothin' about the old
brindle what strayed, hev ye?" asked the
old man, anxiously.
"No " replied Reuben, slowly; "I came
on quite a different errand. The fact is,
uncle, I I (I might as well tell it) I'm
in love and I came to ask your advice
about it."
"Wal, naow, you don't say?" said the
old granger, and pursing up his lips, he
uttered a long, low whistle.
t or a few moments he remained silent.
a far-off look in his aged eyes, as if the
revelation recalled old, almost forgotten
memories, and then he said, turning to
ward Reuben, and drawing his chair a lit
tle nearer to him, "Wal, tell the old man
all about it thar ain't nothin' to com
mence with, thet does 60 much good as
to let it aout." So, leaning back
in his chair again, he listened while
Reuben told the "old. old story"
how the feeling had gradually come
upon him that he loved Kittie with an
all-absorbing passion (or words to that
effect) ; how he basked in the sunshine
of her smiles one day, and was by her
coldness plunged into the very "apathy
of despair" the next; how he was beset
with fears that she liked Bill Simpson
better than she did him; how he was
afraid, if he asked her, that she would
say no that he was sure if she did, it
would Kill him, etc., etc.
The old man listened attentively who,
of whatever age, ever failed to take some
interest in ihe " oft-told' tale " and
when the young man had finished he
took his pipe from his motfth, coughed
once or twice, and delivered himself of
these memorable words :
" Reuby, my boy, you've got it bad
there ain't no doubt on it and I'll tell
you a secret what nobody ain't hearn for
nigh onter fifty year,'!
llere the old man's voice grew a little
husky, and he blew his nose fiercely with
a large, red handkerchief which he took
from his forehead for the purpose.
"Women is queer creturs. I loved one
onct, and onct only, and I'm just
as sure ez I be that I'm settin' here
that I lost her by lovin' of her too much,
an' lettin' her know it too soon. That
was my experience, an' I hev seen stacks
of like cases sence."
" Wal, ez I was saying, just so soon ez
a .woman feels she hez a man heart and
soul, jest so soon she haint no use fur
him; she begins to. sigh, ez the old
primer says, fur new worlds to conquer.
What she ken have she don't want, an'
what she can't have she wants worse
kind.
"It's what schooled people calls the
unertainable that everybody's arter,
specially women folks. You never want
to set too much store by nothin' ; for if
you do, you'll be almost sure to lose it.
Struggle to hide your feelin's all yer ken,
whether yer huntin' for a sweetheart, a
wife or a caow I In the case in pint, do
your level best to make the gal think you
don't set much store by her. Don't let
on how much took you be with her, and
don't on no account say nothin about
love, leastwise, . not at present, for
the minute yer do, ez the lawyers say,
you weaken yer case. You don't want
to show yer hand till yer dead sure you've
won the game. You don't want to com
plicate yerself, so to speak, till yer sar
tin' the girl loves ye. Ef she don't love
ye, ye'd better be in yer grave than
marry her, and if she does, she'll let yer
know afore very long sure ez I'm settin'
here,"
So saying, the old man wiped his fore
head with the big red handkerchief, re
lighted his pipe, pushed down the burn
ing tobacco with his horny thumb and
rdtapsed into silence.
From what humble sourdes words of
wisdom sometimes spring ! Much com
forted, Reuben sauntered . slowly home
wVird, his pathway lighted by the bright
summer morn which had just come over
the hill, filling the little valley with its
mellow light. .
His heart was much lighter than when,
he trod that path Jjefore, for he had un
burdened it, and e felt that Uncle Josh
was right.
So the verv next evening he took
rpretty Polly Baker "buggy riding," and
the following bunday evening went "to
meetm' " with her. He did not even pass
Kittie's house for four whole days I He
came very near weakening the second
evening, but finally, with great dithculty
mastered himself. What was the result!
Why, when he did go by, nearly a week
later, Kittie, who had, of course, -heard
all about what had taken place, walked
down to the gate and, with one of hei
sweetest smiles, asked where he had been
for such a long time. He answered,
"Nowhere to speak of;1' and then she
smiled so sweetly, and looked at him
with such gentle reproach that he was al
most tempted to seize her in his arms and
declare his love then and there, but he re
called Uncle Josh's advice in time and
temporized.
Kittie could not stand it long, how
ever, and before another moon had come
and gone Reuben was her accepted lover.
The days had begun to lengthen a lit
tle when they were, made one ; and Uncle
Josh hitched up the old mare and drove
down to the little house, which Reuben
had bought, to witness the interesting
ceremony. He was attired in a bran
new suit of homespun, his hair "slicked
down" in a most remarkable manner,
and his neck encircled by a broad, white
stock. He looked uncomfortable, but
happy nevertheless (if such an anomalous
condition of affairs may be supposed to
exist), and kissed the bride with much
warmth at the first opportunity.
"Reuben," he said, as soon as he had
his nephew alone for a moment, "she
does look uncommon nice; but, mark
my word, don't go to showin' of her
too much affection if you do you'll be
sorry for it. Don't be afraid to jaw her
a little sometimes; it makes an agreeable
change, an' '11 do her good. You can't
do nothing scurcely with women, nor
children, nor dogs, nor nothin', with too
much affection, don't never forget it 1"
Reuben's only answer was. "I'll try."
But he did not look as if he thought he
would succeed very well how could he
be expected to oh his wedding day?
Universal Repairers.
"A new industry to give labor to the
toiling masses," said a gentleman yesterday.-
"It is a company, established on
the plan of like institutions in Berlin and
Paris,- having for its' object the mending
of socks."
The listener started away.
"Don't go. It's a fact. See, here is a
circular from the company. They do not
confine their attention to socks. Stock
ings, underwear for ladies and gentle
men, clothing of all kinds, for every age
and for both sexes, will be mended."
"Why not add umbrellas and silk
hats?"
4 'They have done so. Silk hats are not
a circumstance. Broken china and
strained bedsteads are not neglected. It
is simply a company that manufactures
nothing and repairs everything."
"Suppose the furniture mechanic
should upset his glue pot on the sealskin
sacque which his neighbor was sewing
on. You can't repair everything in one
shop ?'
"That's where you are not' informed.
The company are just starting. Their
present specialty is clothing. They call
at any address on receipt of a card and
get the socks or other articles, take them
to headquarters, mend them, and return
them with a bill. They will call for any
dish or article of furniture and return it
mended in like manner. But they have
not yet got so large a factory that they can
do so varied a business. They have no
factory at all, only rented rooms. But
they have arranged with boot makers,
fur makers, dressmakers, cement makers,
furniture makers, hat makers, and makers
of about every article of household
utility who will do the work. The com
pany looks after the repairs and guaran
tees the work, saving the owner all the
trouble and sometimes much expense."
"Suppose a man splits a dress coat?''
"They will handle the job, bringing it
to him so neatly darned that he will not
know where the darned slit is, and all
for thirty cents a square inch of darning.
That's a sample of their prices."
' "But if they farm out the work, why
should a man not take his own work to a
tailor?"
"Because he hasn't the time. He can
get the work done by the company at the
same price, and save all trouble except
that of writing a letter and paying the
bill." New York San.
To "Speak by the Card." ,
. To "speak by the card" means to "be
as precise as a map or book." The "card"
was the document in writing containing
the agreement made between a merchant
and the captain of a vessel. , Sometimes
the owner pledged himself, ship-tackle
and furniture for due performance, and
the captain was bound to deliver the
cargo committed to him in good condi
tion. Hence, to "speak by the card"' is
to speak according to the indentures or
written instructions. This old saying is
often improperly used in the sense of
speaking with authority or in possession
of reliable information. v
' The cotton mills of South Carolina
employ 4,500 persons, and the value of
the product is placed at $6,000,000.
. Elephant Shooting.
For three hundred yards or more
silently 'stole through the forest in single
file; at length the leading horseman
halted, and we wheeled into line. Over
the underbrush towered the backs of a
number of dark animals. Closer and
closer to them we approached, when one
of the elephants uttered a shrill note,
and in an instant the herd was crashing
through the timber, raising a tremendous
dust, and sending rotten limbs of brush
wood flying far and wide.
The poor old horse, who had to this
moment been a regular slug, took the bit
in his teeth, and tore along in pursuit as
well as the best of them. He needed no
buiding. -, I only sat still and let him go.
If the others were after the elephants, so
was he; and if his forelegs only kept
him up there was very little doubt that
Boon I would be afforded an occasion to
use my gun. .
A big tusker, of course, I wanted, but
such I could not see ; so, to rectify the
deficiency, singled out the largest animal
in the herd, and made a dash to get along
side of it. In this I was successful, for
the old nag knew his work like a book,
and required no forcing. Holding the gun
at arm's length I fired. The heavy charge
nearly sprung out of my hands; but
the elephant staggered, recovered itself,
staggered again, and then came to a dead
stop.
With the report of the gun the veteran
charger had sheered off to the left,
expecting pursuit, and not getting it,
he easily pulled up, so I turned
him round again so as to renew the con
test. The poor stricken beast was evidently
very sick blood flowed from its mouth
and trunk. It seemed desirous of charg
ing, but was'without the power to do so ;
60 I jumped off my horse, went within fif
teen yards, and fired at the space be--tween
the ear and eye. With a crash
the poor thing fell, struggled violently
to regain its feet, rolled over upon its
6ide, and yielded up life. It was a
cow in the prime of life, 'but its tusks
did not exceed eight or nine pounds in
weight.
I now became cognizant, that a heavy
fusilade was going on to my left; I, in
consequence, rode in that direction,
when I overtook a Boer having quite a
lively time with1 a wounded one 6he'
charged so persistently and fiercely that
he was as often the pursued as the pur
suer; so I left my horse, watched my
chance, and, while she ' was turning
round to keep her front to her first an
tagonist, put two bullets in her side, a
foot or so behind the shoulder blade.
Attempting to charge, she fell upon her
head, burying both tusks in the ground,
and died game to the last, with her front
to the enemy. The action was short,
Bharp and decisive, I may say brilliant,
the only drawback being that both were
cows.
I admit that shooting cow-elephants
requires some apology in my ardour I
did not think of sex, and was not aware
that the animal I had. killed a female till
after its death; in delivering thecoup-de-chasse
to the last it was so severely
wounded before I came up that it could
not have survived. It certainly was an
unlucky entry into elephant " hunting in
Africa, to commence by killing cows.
Parlcer Gilmore.
Business in a Mexican City.
A Chihuahua (Mexico) correspondent
of the Indianapolis Timet says : Business
of all kinds is transacted here in a care
less, indolent manner, and it is impossi
ble to impress a native that there is any
use of being in a hurry, or that there is
any value attached to time. Business
generally opens at 9 a.m., and closes at
12 M.. to allow all classes to indulge in
eating, smoking and sleeping until 3
p. M. At this hour business again com
mences, and closes irregularly, according
to the notion of the proprietor. Sunday
presents but little difference in the busi
ness aspect of the city, many branches,
however, being somewhat more lively
than during the week.
The chief industry of a large portion
of the population of this place appears to
consist of sitting on the curb stones,
leaning against the sunny side of a build
ing, or loafing on the Grand Plaza smok
ing cigarettes, which- they dextrously
make by rolling a small portion of to
bacco in a bit of prepared corn husk
which is sold in neat rolls on the market
at a triflng cost. Almost every native
wears a 6arapa or shawl thrown over the
shoulders and drawn up around the face
so as to conceal almost the entire face,
little being visible save a pair of shining
black eyes. Even those who engage in
manual labor do not dispense with the
sarapa, and it is a curious sight to see
men carrying water, wood or stone, and
doing various kinds of work, with a cum
bersome shawl over their shoulders and
necks, which must be constantly adjusted
to prevent falling off. They seem to be
in a chronic state of suffering from the
cold, even on pleasant days, and appar
ently afraid to allow fresh air to touch
thier bodies.
Killing Off the Fish.
The fish in the bay at San Francisco
are said to be decreasing year by year,
owing to the reckless method of catch
ing them. Every time the Italians drag
their nets upon the gravelly beach thou
sands of smalr fish are allowed to die on
the shore. There are 2,000 Chinamen
engaged in shrimp and sardine fishing off
the Marin county coast. The Celestials
attach their nets to stationary posts and
catch minnows, which are dried and
sent to China.
There are now submarine tele
graph cables, all told, some of them
merely connecting islands with the main
shore.
American companies have spent.
$30,000,000 on railroads in
MX
completed 1,60
Some tii
Graphram, while
cure town on his
W an old squatter
ped as a witness.
k Evasive, showing
holding c'
circuit.
who had beer
The old fellow
such a disposition to shield one of his
, ... .1 " 3 ! II'
inenas, tnat ine juuge uneu mm ior con
tempt and sent him to jail. Several days
ago the judge, while en route in a buggy
to hold court at the same place, lost the
road and wandered around in the woods.
Night came on, and to increase the per
plexity of the situation, a heavy rain be
gan to fall. After wandering around for
an indefinite length of time, the judge
discovered a light glimmering among the
distant trees. Turning his horse in that
direction he soon reached a small open
ing in the forest, and then stopping when
the wheels of his buggy grated against
a fence, he called "hello!"
"All right," answered a man, opening
the door of a cabin and coming out to
the rude suggestion of a gate.
" Have you got enough room in your
house for a man to stay all night?" asked
the judge.
"Oh, yes."
" I'm very glad to hear it. I am lost
in the woods and any accommodation
that you may offer will be thankfully ac
cepted." " Yas, but I ain't said nothin' 'bout
'commodations. "
"Didn't you say that I could stay all
night with you ?"
"Noch."
"You said that you had room for a
man to stay all night."
"Yes, but I didn't say two men. I've
got plenty o' room fur one man, but I
am the man myself, stranger."
"Look here, my friend, I "
"It's so dark Ikain't see yer, so whut's
the usen lookin' thar ?"
"I say"
"I know whut yer 6ay."
"Well, now, my good man "
"Jes' ez wall now ez any time."'
"You evidently don't understand me.
I have lost the road and am in a pitiable
condition." ,
. "Whar did yer lose it ?'
"I don't know."
"Better go out and find out."
"It's too dark now to tell where I lost
it."
"Then it's too dark ter tell when you'd,
find it."
"How far is it to Blakeville?"
"Do yer wanter go thar?"
"Yes, but as I tell you, I've lost my
way. Is there a straight road from here
there?"
"Wall, part o' it is an' part o' it ain't."
"But can you direct me so that I will
not lose the way?"
"I mout ef it wa'nt for one thing."
"What's that?"
"It's too dark."
"Do you think, however, that I can.
find my way there?"
"You can find it if it's thar." -
"I mean will I have any trouble in.
finding my way?"
"I don't know whether yer will er not.
Don't wanter fling no obstickles in yer
way."
"Come, my good man "
"I'm er good man but I can't come."
"Well, as' I am not likely to find my .
way, can you let me stay all night
here?"
"Oh, yes."
"Well, I'll unhitch my horse and
come in."
. "Yer may unhitch yer hoss, but yer
needn't come in." "
" You said I could stay all night."
" Said yer could stay here, but didn't
say yer could stay in thar."
"I. see you have no accommodation
about you. Tell me which way to drive
and I'll leave you."
The old fellow gave minute directions
and the judge drove on. Pretty soohis
horse stopped, and despite persistent
urging, refused to go forward. Finally
the buggy became tangled, in underbrush
and could not be backed. The judge
got out, and was tugging at a hind wheel
when some one called :
" Say, over thar!"
"Hello! That you?"
" Reckin it is."
" Glad to see you, for I am stuck."
"Yer mout be stuck, but yer kain't
see me."
"I mean that I am glad to know you
are there."
"An' I'm glad to know yer air thar."
"Look here!"
"Kain't see yer if I do look."
"Say!"
"Say yers'f !"
"I want to get out of here."
"Wall, git then."
"You are a miserable hound, that's
what you are."
"That's all right, podner. I am the
judge in this here case, an' I'll sock it ter
yer fur contempt. Don't recolleck me, I
reckon. Never mine payin' the fine.
Jes' stay in jail awhile. Good night. Ei
yer want anything, call fur it. Jailei
may be hard ter wake, but call him,
cap'n, call him. May not like the fare,
but call the jailer, cap'n." Arkansau
Traveler.
A Pancake Recipe.
A young housekeeper writes for a recipe
for making pancakes. If there is any
thing more than another we know how
to make, it is pancakes. Take a cup o!
flour, one pint of warm water, mix
thoroughly and cook over a slow fire untl
it becomes thick. Then remove and lev
it stand for an hour to cool. Take a strij
of canton flannel and cut it in rounc
pieces about the size of a tea plate. Smea)
both sides with the flour and wates
mixture and bake on a hot griddle. Serv
with molasses.labeled maple syrup. This
of course is not the family style. We go
our information by dissecting a pancak(
at an up town restaurant, and it cai
led uponvcA'j Sun.
asvx
w