Get poisons out
o f system. . . .
Doctor« know that
this modern acirnlifle laxative
work« cfllclcntly in «mailer
do««'« b f r a m e y o u c h e w it.
Hafc and mild for old and young.
OUR COMIC SECTION
Events in the Lives o f Little Men
F e e n a m in t
fo r
c o n ------------
A L IT E R A L C H A P
“W ho's th a t? " aak<-d Rnilth sa ha
walked along Ilia atreet liy tha aid*, of
Ills friend Jones who had J uki nodded
to tom e one on tha other aide.
T h a t ’« W heeler,” waa I be refdy.
“Ob, W heeler, la It? I’ve heard
be'« a crunk for punctuality."
”1 Blmuld Bay ha I«.” anawerad
Smith. "Why, he even ra rrle e his
w atch In hla blp pocket to prevent
him ever being behind tim e.“
A BRIDGE SPECIALIST
O a ljr T o o T r a e
"I'««!, wh«t U Influence?”
"Influant'*. my win. la anmethlng you
think you l i d i until you try to u h I t"
Coast to C ob at ««<><1 (IrxKcm «all and
recom mend Huaa Halt lliua. Uoltar
«alno th an any othor. Adv.
A
n
€ 1
y
IL TO
T h a t cold may lead to aomethinj» serious, if neglected.
T he time to do something for it is now. D on’t wait
until it develops into bronchitis. Take two or three
tablets of Haver Aspirin as soon as you feel a cold
coming on. Or as soon as possible after it starts.
Iiaycr Aspirin will head off or relieve the aching and
feverish feeling—will ston the headache. And il your
throat is affected, dissolve two or three tablets in a
quarter-glassful of warm water, and gargle. This
quickly soothes a sore throat and reduces inflammation
and infection. Read proven directions for neuralgia,
for rheumatism and other aches and pains. Oenuine
Bayer Aspirin is harmless to the heart.
B A
IVImn money haa boon In th* fain
lly for th ree generation* Ilia family
finally loania how not to w aata It.
A
§
Aaptoia la tha tiad a
o u t
Y
P
E R
1 R I I V
o i Bajrar M aaulacuir* of Mucoaoatkaddoafor of S a lk y lia c tf
Used to It
M other—Be aure to Invite Ilia civil
engineer to our card purty. dear.
D aughter— Why tnvlle him?
M other—lie 's a bridge *|>eclallat
you know.
O
No erain o
Is Your Rest
Disturbed ?
FINNEY OF THE FORCE
A Bird Gag to Swallow
I t h i n k to s h o w m o ra b r a ln a
M v « u m o r # tiro a u ro m ig h t.
I t 's d u m b , f o r g o in g o u t.
T o p ic k th * e o ld r o t n i g h t !
C a ttin g
H enry—Can you beat It? I called
He (describing hla c a reer)—Teak
him a liar, a fool and a crook—and darling. I began with nothing but a y
be never «aid a w ord!
brain«.
Thomas—Force of habit, old chap.
She—So you are another of tboM
He'g a football referee.—A newer*.
people who began with nothing.
H o w A C o lle g e A th le te
K eep s H im s e lf W e ll
Im m o vable
Deal P ro m p tly w ith K idney
Irregularities.
r ? b o th e re d w ith hl w H a r m m
R e was one of thoee young men
who never seem to know when lo go
She had yawned aeveral time«, when
a clock In the hall «truck midnight.
"Ia th at an eight-day clock?” asked
the young man.
“Well." saiId the girl, stilling another
yawn, "why don't you slay a little
longer and find out ?“
tool». | * l t n ( u p a t n if lit a m i
r o M l i n l b a c k a c h e . d o n 't t a k a
c h a n c e s I I«I|I y o u r I n .lo r yo w i t h
I Plllo U p d fo r m a n th a n
40 yean. I fhlofwd tha world over
Sold by ' ‘
50,000 Usera Endors« Doan's:
JaaKui C ro o n e r, I t N . S k o rltU n A m ..
I n d U r m p o l U , |* W .. M y i **|
tn a u l.W
wytll U h I oi W
T it« ku iiw y M tO H u M
C h e ck
City S llrker—Is this milk from eon-
tented cows?
Farm er (thoughtfully) —Well, to tell
the tru th , they ain’t seemed so con
tented lately.
“Hin. wlmt do you suppose la a n
noying them ?”
"Well, neur's I kin make nut. It's
these dutn fool questions people ask."
—B order Cities S ar.
l.navaamaé f i n d | H U l n »d
I
I la it
l n w l .m l S M l k t i l o o M M ify
! > .* » • I '. U
(>*st U N I « good «I m s m s o d I k«ww «s o d
«M wilk |4wd
DOAN’S
PILLS
y SiiiiÄTdOf linn*'¿it toihf Kkfncw
Tha alory of w riting may li« tra ra d
ha It to iho E gyptian hieroglyphic*
th rollili
Ilo- llolnan, tiraoli ah'*
Ptioonlc-lau alphabets.
N ot
N e c e s s a ry
M anager—Jones, bow Is It you've
been aw ay?
Ju n io r Clerk—I'leuse. air. I have a
rertltl'-ate from my doctor saying that
1 could not work yesterday.
M anager—T h at's no u se
I could
give you a certificate saying that you
never could work.— Forties M agazine
EAD AC HE?
' Infila-» 1 o f d o B f o r o o a h e a r t do-
r p T M M n U to k o M ffi, m ild , p u r e l y j
' V O f o t f th U H A T U 1 I I U M I D I
If o n tl g e l r i d o f l à « b o w o l I
f t h a t r* u n « th o tr o u b le . N a th -
r I n f l l k « N9 f o r Islllooeno««, « Ic k
' h e o d o rh « And A o M ti^ ltia « , d
Jjr. N o v # r f r ipon.
H ID D E N R IC H E S
OB DOfINO Of Cot-
claims th a t a
s e n s ib le m e t h o d of
health haa really made
life a pleasure far him.
Mr. Doming writes th at
a t first he could not be
lieve this simple thing
w as th e c a u se o f h is
buoyant spirits. Finaily,
however, he had to ad
m it th at it was Nujol
which was keeping him
well, besides giving him,
as he says, “fire times
th e vitality.”
"Believe me,” he says
"having free and regular
b o d il y e l i m i n a t i o n
makes all the deference
in the world to a diver
as well as to any other
athlete. I can’t afford to
be nervous, sluggish, or
depressed while diving.
I t just isn’t done! I
would like to urge sny
K 1 g a te
Robert O Deining
fancy dhtta iCclgateU ai*
▼ ersify S w i
they too in good health or not, to
give Nujol a try-cuL I t certainly
can’t do any harm , and I ’ll b?t it
would make then, feel a hundred per
cent bettor. I t ’a w orth trying!”
M r. Derning has ju st about told
the whole story. He is
right in believing that
Nujol con tame no drugs,
no medicines of any
kind. It is tasteless and
colorless as pure water.
I t is simply harmless in
ternal lubrication, which
your body needs as
m uch as an y o th e r
machine. Regularly is
dock work, Nujol cleans
out of your body those
poisons which we all
have, and which make
us low in cur minds,
tired, headachy, and
below par.
The way for you to
f i n d o u t ho w m u c h
better Nujol will make
you feel is to try it for
a few days. You can get
a bottle in a sealed
package at any drug
atcre. I t costs only a
yorj fnel l i e a million
dollars. D o you know how many
thousands of people keep themselvea
well and happy just by using Nujol?
TThy shouldn't you feel well all the
time? You ran! G et yourself a bottle
of N ujcl today!
d. soi«, potrei y « « gfitel' h
Afdr«j|.t<« -only il«. JdfibslAstolM
kD TOMORROW
TO-NIGHT
AkHtGHT
Tha Goad T u rn D egree
“My new friend w rites Ik Sc. after
his name."
“G ee! I didn’t know he was a Boy
S cout !”— Bulletin. Sydney.
C ase of N ecessity
When a modern girl buys a spool at
thread she may mil intend to mend
anything. She may nee,] a new
clothesline. —1 'atblinder Magazine.
C ala or doga entering Haw nil. ox
ro |i| Ihoiio front Now Zealand and
A uatralla are hold In quarautlno for
ISO day*.
Intuition Is w hat enables you not
to find fault with the wrong person.
Laugh and the world laughs with
you—unless you a re telling the Joke.
A learned fool is more foolDb than
an Ignorant fool.— Moliere.
Stage fright can be depended on to
spoil some pretty g.iod public speaker«.
rW KL U X U A M iL U O M . T A KM
■ « A
Hoinotlmoa Ilia price of liberty Is
tho foo of ■ am ari lawyer,
THE FEATHERHEADS
Fanny Has to Put Up With This
Kvory Incorno haa Ita outgo tax.
Modern Mother—Tell me. Gene
vleve, are you keeping som ething from
m other?
Genevieve— Yea. my millionaire boy
friend.
U n m a n a g e a b le M in o rity
; Ju M w h e n s o i r r w is e a n d c a r e f u l c b a i
H a s m o s t t h i n g s g o in g r i g h t ,
I In s o m e f o r c o r n e r o f th e m a p
T h e p e o p le s t a r t a fig h t!
The
upsets
of
N o t f o r E m e r g e n c ie s
Elderly G entlem an—Is tills the
cheapest nmhrellu you keep?
A ssistant—Yes. sir, the very cheap
cst
Elderly G entlem an—I’ll take It. I
only w ant it for leaving behind In the
train.
Helped at
Change oi Life;
F ra n k n e ss
"How Is It you ask me for a loan
when I don't know you?”
“It would he hopeless If you d lit”—
Nagels l.ustige Welt (B erlin).
••Lydia E Pinkham’s Veg©*
table Compound is a wonder
ful medicine at the Change of
Life. I would get blue spells ond
just walk the floor. I was nerv
ous. could not sleep at night,
and was not able to do my
work. I know if it had not been
for your medicine I would have
been In bed most o f this time
and had a big doctor’s bill. If
worr.cn would only take your
medicine they would be bet
ter.”—Mr». A n n a W eaver,
R. F. D. No. 2 , Rose Hill, Iowa.
M o d e rn
C heap!
Very Rich H ost—T h ai G ainsbor
ough cost me seventy thousand
Equally Rich Guest — W onderful
what bargains you can pick up nows
d ay s!—Hum orist.
P A R K K R ’S
H A IR H A L S A M
stre e t? '' She (co ld ly )—"Why n !« me?
Don't you know how fur yon enn wee?"
W
listalo«*«i»*n«lrutt N».*p«»Uir I Alili
Kfifilor«« C o lo r an d
B « A u iy (n C M f fifid F rdod Hoi»
b«V u n d (D " 0 » t D nufialrtfi
Illaoi »
W M , l* « trlli»fin» N-▼
W. N
-
U , P O R T L A N D , NO. 4 - 193 «
I d e n tif ic a tio n
Gn«*st (to bend w a ite r)—T hat ronst
Is certainly a long lime coming.
W aller — Can you recognize the
w aiter who's serving yon?
G uest—No— hut here's his finger
print on the soup ilisli!
TO KNOW
»
C h ild *"
He—''Cnn
1 see
you
aerose
the
V ary Q uic'ily Remedied
Police tMllcvr (a fte r sto p p a « mito
driver on Murine d riv e )—Toung m in.
do you know It Is ag.ilnst the law to
drive with your arm around n girl?
P riv a r— No, oillcer, I wus not avvure
of th a t law.
O lii «Ih. w ell! We enn soon rem
edy Pint. I lu n e n driver s Keen. e.
Chung* scuts, T e d !—Vancouver I'ro-
v luce.
B r o a d - M in d e d
T it for T at
“Those pearls make u lovely M rlh.
d l.v gift. Thunk you so much. B ut 1
have u confession to muke. T his Isn't
really my tw enty-fourth b'.rt!uluy. I’ve
alw ays lied about my age."
H er llushund — "T h at's nil right.
T hose aren 't genuine pearls.''
Mary—It's n sham e that Ids fat man
had to tak e the seat directly In front
of you. You're missing the whole
show.
“ No. not nil of It. He’s reudlng all
the titles aloud.”
C a tlin g
N urse—Tommy look his medicine
like a man.
M other—1 didn't think he’d muke all
thut fuss.
Doctor— Have you any difficult eases
In your practice?
Colleague— 1 am Just going to one—
he has owed me his hill for a yeur.—
Der Lustige Sudine (l^-ipzig).
H a rd to C u ro
All children are subject to little
upsets. They come at unexpected
times. They seem twice as serious
in the dead of night But there’s
one form of comfort on which a
mother can always rely; good old
Castoria. This pure vegetable
preparation can’t harm the tiniest
infant. Yet mild a3 it is. it soothes
a restless, fretful baby like nothing
else. Its quick relief soon sees the
youngster comfortable once more,
back to sleep. Even an attack of
A rray
"Do you really need thirty law
•«•oka ?”
“T h a t's Just to scare the Judge.”
colic, or diarrhea, yields to the
toothing influence of Castoria.
Keep Castoria in mind, and keep
a bottle in the house—always.
Give a few drops to any child
whose tongue is coated, or whose
breath is bad. Continue with
Castoria until the child is grown I
Every drugstore has Castoria ; the
genuine has Cha*. H. Fletcher'»
signature on the wrapper.
W a itin g f o r A ll S e a t*
“Well, I finally got Into the naivlec*
"You really did! How ?"
“Oh, I paid '.he usual fifty cents.'
Acknowledged as a
protection against
S k i n Troubles
(u t ic u r d
IVufMiclu«*; Poti
Potto* D rm j A Oemmieml
• . 4 . Wie,,. Dm*.
CLEANSING
S O O T H IN G
ANTISEPTIC