I rw> nud'ence almost suiiocated him.
I “ Wen,” Lt ixncllofed, “II rt«m*t look
I right to me.”
I
I
e
ILALSKV ENTERPRISE
i ’ n r .p e ’ Yes. It Is, and I ’ll h a v /n ij
“Four minutes!” the chairman an
say.
yon boorjaw fn .e r, and vou can
nounced. for Kaiusey's pauses had
hammer your ole gavel to pieces ut
worn away a great deal more of this
ma!"
terrible Interval than had his elo
He had begun to shriek; moisture
quence. “Opening statement for the
felj from his brow ui.d Ids mouth : the
negative: Miss D. Yocum. Four min
scandalized society was oo its feet,
utes."
moving nervously Into groups. Evi
As Dora began to speak. Ramsey
dently the meeting wns shout to dis
‘ experienced a little relief, but only a
integrate. “I ’ll have my say!" the
I little—about the same amount of relief comparative
merits
In
argument
frenzied Llnskl screamed. "You try
; as that felt by a bridegroom when it should be taken.
The Interruption
to put up this capltalls* trick and work
ls the bride's turn to " ‘respond," not 1 was from the rear row of seats along
'• fake to carry over this debate ngalns’
really relief at all, but merely the the wall, where sat new members of
Uholtnuny, but you can't work It on
slight relaxation of a continuing the society, freshmen not upon the
me, lenune tell you ! I ’ll have my say!"
strain. The audience now looked at program of the evening. A loud nasal
The outraged chalrmnn was wholly
Ramsey no more than people look at a voice was heard from this quarter, a
at a Iocs how to deal with the “un
| bridegroom. but he failed to perceive loud hut nasnl voice, shrill as well as
.Copvr*3htj>y DoubliSiy. Page 4 Company
precedented situation"—so he defined
i rny substantial mitigation of his nasal, and full of a strange hot pas
It. quite truthfully; and he continued
| frightful conspicuousness. He had not slon. “Mr. Chairman I" It cried. “Look-
SYNOPSIS
to pound upon the desk, while other
pretty figure lu white. Members In i the remotest idea of what he had said a-here, Mr. Chairman! Mr. Chairman.
Rumsey’s neighborhood were aware of ' in setting forth bis case for Germany, I demaud to be heard! You gotta gim
“
a brief and hushed commotion, and a and he knew that It was his duty to me my say. Mr. Chairman! I'm a-
n
fierce whisper, "You can’t I
You get listen closely to Dora, In order to be guana have my say! You look-a-here
up there!" And the blanched Ramsey able to refute her argument when his Mr. Chairman!”
came forth and placed himself at the two-minute closing speech fell due:
Shocked by such a breach of order
•o other desk.
but lie was conscious of little more and by the unseemly violence of the
J'
He stood before the silent popu thnn his own condition. His legs had speaker, not only the chairman but
lace of that morgue, and it seemed to now gone wild beyond all devilry, and everyone else looked there. A short
“ him that his features had forgotten lie hud to keep shifting his weight from strong figure was on Its feet, gesttcu
that he was supposed to be their own- one to the other in order even to hope latlng fiercely; and the head belonging
that their frenzy might escape gen- to It wns a large one with too tnud
« sr and In control of them ; he felt that
■ they were slipping all over his face, oral attention.
curly black hair, a flat swarthy face
a ' regardless of his wishes. His head,
He realized that Dora was speaking shiny and not immaculately shaven:
as a whole, was subject to an agita- rapidly and confidently, and that some there was an Impression of Ill-chosen
niupuB, ne round himself the center
tlon not before known by h im ; It de- where in his Ill-assembled parts lurked clothes, too much fat red Up. too much
of h group of his own clKssinntes
• sired to move rustlly In eccentric ways a fam iliar bit of him that objected to tooth, too much e.vebnll. Fred Mitchell
«’horn he at first mistook for soplio-
> of Its own devising; his legs alternate- her even more than usual; but she had recognized this violent Interrupter as
' ly limbered and straightened tinder no used half of her time, at least, before one Llnskl. a fellow freshman who am big stiff"— he waved his passionate nores, such was their manner.
. . .
As this group broke up a few
hand at the paralyzed Ramsey— “you
i i direction but their ow n; and his hands he was able to gather any coherent next him in one of his classes. “Whnt'
clutched each other fiercely behind his meaning from what she was saying.
that cuss up to?" Fred wondered. au< pick out a boob like that fer the Clio- minutes later, a youth running to Join
It, scenting somewhat of interest, de
inun side, a poor fish that glta stage
hack; he was not one cohesive person, Even then he caught only a fragment, so did others. Llnskl showed them.
’ evidently, but an assembled collection here and there, and for the rest—so
He pressed forward, shoving himself fright so bad he don't know whether tained ono of those who were depart-
ng.
i of parts which had relapsed each Into lar as Itamsey was concerned—she through the two rows In front of him he’s talkin’ or dead; or else he fakes
[ Its own Individuality. In spite of them. might as welt have been reciting the till he emerged upon the green carpet It; because he's a speaker so bum It
"What's up? What was that squeal-
ngF'
he somehow contrived the semblance Swedish alphabet.
of the open space, and us lie came, he looks more to me like he was faking.
Yon git this big stiff to fake the Cliol
’ of a bow toward the chairman and the
“Oh, nothing. We Just talked to
In spite of the rather startling fee was cyclonic with words.
i semblance of another toward Dora, of bleness of her opponent’s statement,
“You don't put no such stuff as this mun side, and then you go and stick that Llnskl. Nobody else touched him,
( whom he was but hazily conscious. Dora went at her task us earnestly as over, 1 tell you!" he shouted In his up a goil again»' him that's got brain.« out Ramsey MUholland gave him a
nnd makes a paclffs* argument that peach of a punch on the snoot.”
Then he opened his mouth and. not
if It were to confute some monster of hot, nasal voice. "This here’s a tie
knowing how he had started his voice casuistry. “Thus, having demonstrat country, and you call yourself n de wins the case agalns' the Chotmuns
"Whoopee I”
going, heard it as if from a distance.
Ramsey was laconic In response to
ed That all war Is wrong,” she said, ap bating society, do you? Letnme tell like cuttln’ through hog lard I Bui
you ain’t a gunna git away with It. Inquiries upon this subject. When
"In making my first appearance be proaching her conclusion, “It Is scarce you 1 belong to a debating society In
nine one remarked : “You served hlin
fore this honor'ble membership I feci ly necessary to point out that what Chicago, where I come from, and them mister. Letnme tell you right her.-
nnd now, I may be a ralg blood, but I
ight for calling you a boob and a poor
restrained to say— ”
He stopped ever the actual circumstances of the fellas up there, they’d think they'd
Invasion, and whatever the status of ouglita be shot fer u fake like what got some Cholmun tn me with tha rest llah poJ ao on before all the society,
short, and thenceforward shook vial
what 1 got, and before you vote on
irtr’a and all,” Rumsey only suld:
bly. After a long pause, he managed the case In International law, or by you Iienple are tryln' to put over, here,
this here question yoo gotta hear a
to repeat Ills opening, stopped again, reason of treaty, or the German oath tonight. I come down here to git some
"Thut wasn't what I lilt him for."
few wolds from somebody that can
swallowed many times, produced a to respect the neutrality of Belgium, more education, and puy fer it, too,
He declined to exifialn further.
talk ! Thia whole war la a capltalls'
handkerchief and wiped his face, an which of course was grossly and dis In good hard money I've made sweatin'
war. Belgium as much as Cholmuny,
act of necessity— then had an Inspira honorably violated—all this, I say, la In a machine shop up there In Chi- ,
(To lie continued)
nnd the United States Is sellln' Its gbul
dles and gentlemen of the Lumen so cago; hut If this Is the kind of educa- I
tion.
to the capltalls' right now, I tell you,
"The subject assigned to me," he ciety, all this Is beside the point of tlon I'm a-gunna git, I better go on i takln’ aides agalns' Cholmuny. Orders
Spoiling a Man.
said, “Is resolved that Germany Is morals. Since, as I have shown, all hack there. You call this a square de fer explosives and ammanltlon and
war is wrong, the case may be simpli bate, do you?”
Occasionally s in " Is «n lied .
,
mor’ly and legally justified In Bel
guns and Red Proas supplies Is cornin'
•ause he gets something for not lung
gians—Belglums! This subject was fied as follows: All war Is morally
He advanced toward the chairman's Into
1
this country by the mllllona. and
-Atchison Globe.
Quod erat demonstrandum. platform, shaking a frantic fist. "Well, I
assigned to me to he the subject of wrong.
the capltalls' United States la fat al
this debate." He Interrupted himself Germany Invaded Belgium. Invasion ( K y°u do. you got another thlt k i ready on the blood of the. workers of
to gasp piteously, found breathing d if Is war. Germany, therefore, did moral
ficult, but faltered on again: “This wrong. Upon the legal side, as I began
subject Is the subject. It Is the sub by pointing out, Germany confessed In ■
ject that wns assigned to m e on a the reichstag the violation of law.
postal card." Then, for a moment or Therefore, Germany wns Justified In
so. he had a miraculous spurt of confi the Invasion neither morally nor legal
dence. and continued, rather rapid ly: ly; hut was both morally and legally
“I feel constrained to say that the tvrong and evil. Ladles and gentlemen
of the Lumen society, I await the
country of Belgian— Belgium, I mean—
333 W. First street, Albany.
this country has been constrained by refutation of my opponent I”
th*—Invaded
I
mean—
Invaded
by
the
Her
opponent
appeared
to
he
having
com es personal In hts remarks The m at
ter ends with Ram sey, In the university Imperial German Implre and my sub enough trouble with his legs, without
vernacular, rtvtn» IJnikl a "peach o f a ject In this debate Is whether It ought
taking any added cares upon himself
punch on the snoot.”
to or not, my being the Infernatlvc, In the way of refutations. But the
Four other “ twelve-minute debates”
affirmative I mean—that I got to prove marvelous Dora had calculated the
preceded his and the sound of these, that Germany Is mor'ly and legally length of her statement with such
tn Rsmsey’s ears, was the sound of Justified. I wish to state that—”
nicety that the chairman announced
Gabriel practising on his horn tn the
“Four minutes,” almost upon the In
He paused again, leugthlly, then
early morning of Judgment day. The struggled on. “I have been requested stant of her final syllable; and all
members of the society sat. three rows to state that the German Imp— Empire
faces turned once more to the uphold
deep, along the walls of the room, —that It certainly Isn't right for those er of the affirmative. “Refutation and
leaving a clear oblong of green car
Dutch—Germans. I mean— they haven't conclusion by the affirmative,“ said the
pet In the center, where were two got any more business In Belgium than chairman. “Mr. R. Mlihnlland. Two
small desks, twenty feet apart, the I have m.vseff. hut I — I feel constrained minutes."
rostrums of the debaters.
Upon a to say that I had to accept whatever
Therewith. Ramsey coughed as long
platform at the head of the room tat side of thia dehate I got on the postal as he could copgh. and when he felt
frame. I I you wish striking proof of
dreadful seniors, the officers of the card, and so I am constrained to take that no more should be done In this
the universal popularity of the
society, and, upon benches near the the side of the Dutch. I mean the way, he wiped his face— again an act
P R IN C E T O N frame, drop into the
Do you take a« I vantage of the bargain
platform, the debaters of the evening Germans. The Dutch are sometimes of necessity—and quaverlngly began :
office an<l see whst is worn by the eye-
sales when you see them advertised?
were aligned. One of the fraternal called— I mean the «Hermans are some
“Gentlemen and ladles, or ladles and
workers and the brain-workers. The
Vou «ave money if you do.
seniors sat with sweltering Ramsey; times called the Dutch In thia country,
frame designed for comfort and con
and the latter, as his time relentlessly but they aren't Dutch, though some gentlemen, In making the refutation
The Enterprise ha» a bargain sale ev
venience.
came nearer, made a last miserable times called Dutch In this country. of my opponent, I feel that— I feel that
ery day. For $1.50 in advance it offers
hardly anything more ought to be
squirm.
52 numbers, each containing ail the l*3o|
Well, and so—so, well, the war began said."
“Look here. Brother Colburn, I got last August or about then, anyway,
newt it can gather in a week and a lot of
He paused, looked helplessly at his
to get out o’ here."
and the German army Invaded the Bel
other
newa aud miscellaneous reading,
uncontrollable legs, and reanmed: “I
“No. you don't, young fellow."
gian army. After they got there, the
and it alto gives the reader four or five
am supposed to make the repnta—the
“Yes, I do I" Ramsey whispered, pas
Invasion began.
First, they came
good stories in the year, any one one of
slonately.
“Honest, I do.
Honest, around there and then they com refutation of my opponent, and I feel
which would cost, in a bookstore, the
Brother Colburn, I got to get a drink menced Invading. Well, what I feel that I ought to say quite a deal more
In the llrst place, I feel that the Inva
price of a year's subscription.
a l u n y . o a t a.
of water. I got tot"
constrained— ”
sion has taken place. I am supposed
“No. You can’t.”
Subscribers paying in advance are the
He came to the longest of all his —anyhow I got a postal card that I
Harold
Albro.
"Honest, Colburn, I got « a
niamatay of a suiall-lown paper. W ith
pauses here, and the awful gravity of am supposed to be here toolght. Well,
Manufacturing optician.
“Hush I"
out subscribers no advertising could lie
In talking over this matter with a cou
Rainsey cast his dilating eyes along
had, and advertising is what brings in
ple
of
seniors,
they
told
me
I
was
sttp-
the rows of faces. Most of them were
returns to pay expenses.
laised to claim this Invasion was mor'ly
but as blurs, swimming, yet he was
A m o r A . T u ssi n g
and legally all right. W ell—" Here,
Subscription money pays for white pa
aware (he thought) of a formidable
hy some chance, the recollection of a
and horrible impassive scrutlay of
per and presswork. When subscribers
LAWYER AND NOTARY
word of Dora’s flickered Into his cha
himself, a glare seeming to pierce
do not pay in advance tlie publisher has
otic
mind,
and
he
had
a
brighter
mo
through him to the hack of the belt
to pay these items fifty-two weeks lie-
ment. “My opponent said she proved
B rownsville , O kkoon
round his waist, so that he began to
fore he gets returns. With seyersl hun
all
war
Is
wrong—or
something
like
have fearful doubts about that belt,
dred subscribers in arrears thia amounts
that, anyhow. She said she proved If
about every fastening and adjustment
to a heavy burden to a man of small
was wrong to tight, no matter what
of his garments, about the expression
Well,
I
f
she
wasn't
a
girl,
anybodv
meant,
whereat in paying in advance
of his countenance, and many other
LIC EN SED F U N E R A L DIREC TO RS
that wanted to get her to tight could
each subscriber hat to pro«luce only
things Jumbling together In his con
HA RRISBURG
LEBANON
proh’ly
do
It.”
He
did
not
add
that
he
$1.50.
sciousness. Over and over he whis
Rhone 35
Phone 15
would
he
the
person
to
make
the
ex
pered gaspingly to himself the open
Help the publisher to carry bis load
Branches at
periment ( If Dora weren't a girl), nor
ing words of the sentence with which
ami he can give you better service.
Brownsville, Phone 3 7 0 5 .
did
the
thought
enter
his
mind
until
an
a senior had advised htm to begin his
Ilafsey Phone 166, Frank K irk , M g r
hour or so later. “Well," he addpd, "I 1
In Halsey a majority of the people pay
argument. And as the moment of su
suppose there Is little more to he
for their paper in advance, but a few of
preme agony drew dose. (Ms whisper-
•aid."
tbepn in town and many outside are in
lug became continuous: "In making
He was so right. In regard to his own
arrears. Most of these, if they realized
my first apeurance before tbls honor'-
articles no longer ¿needed, or succeeded
performance, at least, that, thereupon
ble membership I feel const rained to
what an improvement could lie made in
by better one», which somebody would
drying up utterly, he proceeded to
say In making my first appearance be
the paper with a little money, would
like to obtain. An a«lvertisenient the
stand, a speechless figure In the midst
fore thia honor'ble membership I feel
probably pay promptly. That it the
size of tbia, coating 25c, might find a
of a multitudinous silence, for an eter
constrained to say In making my first
buyer and covert what is f ' A Q I I
way to make a good neWipaoer in a
ilty lasting forty-five seconds He made
now an IV trash into good Y / a k d l l
appearance before this honor'ble mem
smalltown. All must co-operate.
a racking effort, and at the end of this
epoch found words again. “In making
Send na your local newa An editor
. It had come. The chairman
my argument In thia debate, I would
alone cannot make a good country news
announced the subject of the foorth
state that—"
freshman twelve-minute debate; and
paper.
A sparkling Stimulant, Full of W it and
a Cam* ta tha Longest of All Hla
“Two minutes!" said the chairman.
Dora Yocum, hitherto unperceived by
Pauses Hare, and tha Awful Gravity "Refutation by the negative. Miss D.
Humor, Free copy will lie sent upon
Ramsey, rose and went forward to one
af tha Audlanca Almaat Suffocated Yocum. Two minutes.”
receipt of your name with address com
of the small desks In the open space,
Him.
"I waive them." said Dora, primly.
plete. Write to G Mitchell, 397 Pearl
th ere
cpmpoaedly. • slim
" I submit that the affirmative has not
Street, Brooklyn, N Y,
refuted the argument of the negative."
A
Illustrations b y x
I
<
If you hive friends they
should have your photo*
graph.
Clifford’s Studio
PRINCETON, the all-zylo
W R I G H T & P O O I .E
h ARMERS
«
Free “ Hooch
V*e