Illinois Valley News, Thursday, September 25, 1941
Page Two
i h ree New Rear Admirals for U. S. Navy
9
Washington, I). C.
SIMPLIFYING THE TAX BLOW
The senate finance committee re­
SPIES IN CONSULATES
cently voted for the Simplified Chart
Vichy Ambassador Henry-Haye
system for helping the public deter­
recently let out a loud wail about
mine its income tax. It now seems
newspaper reports charging him
certain that the Do-It-Without-The-
and his staff with undercover pro-
Dizzy-Spell idea will become law and
Axis activities.
that the new arrivals within the in­
It is possible that Henry-Haye come tax classifications will almost
knows nothing about it, but govern be admitted on a Pay-As-You-Enter
ment authorities are in possession of ! system.
evidence that Nazi agents are on
. . .
Vichy consular staffs in this coun­
Secretary Morgenthau says that
try. Also, that such agents have I with the rank and file of taxpayers
been installed in Hungarian consular I “it ain't the money; it’s the con­
offices.
fusion.” He contends that a man in
It has been ascertained that sev­ the lower brackets should be able to
eral weeks before Axis consulates go to a post office, glance at a chart
were ordered expelled, Berlin, either ! and find out what he owes Uncle
tipped off or anticipating the move, Sam without going nuts.
quietly began shifting some of its
• • •
agents to Vichy and Hungarian con­
When the income tax was limited
sulates.
to the Upper Brackets and only took
The Vichy consulate in Chicago, in a small proportion of the people,
headed by Raymond Imbault-Huart, it was all right to let them suffer
was one of those that suddenly had There seemed no reason why they
a mysterious staff expansion. An­ [shouldn't be given the works, up to
other was in the Hungarian consu­ and including the headache, the
late in Cleveland, directed by Louis ! spots before the eyes, the night-
Alexy.
| sweats, the nervous breakdowns
Two "investigators” were added | and the mad call for lawyers.
• • •
to Imbault-Huart's staff early in
June. These men were in constant
But the Every-Man-An-Einstein
contact with the Nazi consulate in ' policy is to be dropped now that the
Chicago; in fact, they called there income tax laws have been eased so
almost every day until the Nazi con­ that anybody can get in.
• • •
sul departed in July. This was
definitely established by Dies com­
Uncle Sam knows that if the rank
mittee agents and from a former and file of his citizens were ever
member ot the Vichy consular staff asked to go through all that trouble
in Chicago, who resigned in disgust making out an income tax blank,
after many years of service.
there would be what Willie Howard
• • •
calls a “rp-wolt." Either that or
THE PRESIDENT’S .MOTHER
more mental collapses than our in­
Sara Delano Roosevelt thought stitutions could handle.
the man to whom she proudly re­
• • •
ferred to as "My son. the Presi­
Hence the "Not A Headache In
dent” was capable of doing any­
‘A Carload" type of tax collection.
thing he set his mind to; and the
• • •
President would have done any­
It
is
all
right
as far as it goes,
thing he could to satisfy her wishes.
but it doesn't go far enough. We
But one favor he could not grant,
think the tax blank should be made
despite his high office. Because of
prettier. And carry a page ot fun­
its intimate character, the story was
nies.
kept a secret by the few who knew
• • •
it, but now that the gracious mis­
We submit the following extra sug­
tress of Hyde Park has passed on,
gestions for making tax paying more
it can be told.
painless:
During the Czechoslovak crisis
1. Make the tax blanks prettier
in 1939, the President was confer­ and include a page of funnies.
ring with advisers when a secretary
interrupted with word that his moth­
er was calling from New York. The
President picked up the phone, in­
quired, "Yes, mother?”
Mrs. Roosevelt was in a state of
high excitement. There was some
difficulty over a friend who had
come to tliis country from Europe.
He wanted to remain until he was
certain it would be safe for him to i 2. Preface each blank with the
return, but the state department was . words "Don't Bother Reading This.
refusing to grant an extension of his See Your Postmaster."
visa.
Couldn't the President do
3. Inclose postage for return.
something?
4 Have the mailman leave each
“I'm sorry, mother.” he replied, blank with an apology and explain
“but I'm afraid I can't help you on that it's just too bad.
tin-- "
5. Eorbid lengthy discussion of
An excited buzz of conversation the tax blank in the home. Let the
came through the phone. It plight husband say, "I guess I'll run down
be dangerous for the friend to re­ to the post office and have my in­
turn.
Wasn't the President the come tax apprehensions attended
highest official of the government to,” and let the wife limit her com­
and couldn't he do something?
ment to "Okay. I hope it's nothing
Roosevelt glanced helplessly at serious."
those about him Then, with a pa­
6 Have the post office chart
tient smile, he again addressed the printed in colors and throw in a
phone.
j couple of movie shorts in the cor­
"Mother," he explained, “it's ridor.
• gainst the law."
7. Require the postmasters to
This was one door even the Presi­ serve hot coffee and sandwiches
dent of the United States could not
• • •
open for Ins mother or anybody.
l><> loii Itemember—
• • •
Away back when the ultimatum
NO SUGAR SHORTAGE
i came first and the attack second?
Don't get alarmed about those ru­
• • •
mors of an impending sugar short­
"Japan is proceeding with the re-
age
The department of agricul­ I construction of the Chinese continent
ture. which should know, isn't.
| with the full co-operation of China
Official statistics show that there | Churchill's charge that Japan is en
is plenty of relined sugar for civilian croachmg upon the Chinese people is
needs. Production in the next few wholly
groundless.” — Japanese
months, plus the reserve stocks of I spokesman.
beet and cane sugar refiners—
And then again, the world doesn't
amounting to over 1,930,000 tons— seem to understand that those al­
will be more than enough to meet leged bombs are really flower pots
consumer demands until the next
• • •
crop
PORTRAIT OF A MAYOR
Only problem is what government
Into an airplane—
experts term "mal-location " Due
Out of it quick!
to consumer hoarding, stocks in the
Into another
East are below normal, though rap­
With shovel and pick!
idly being replenished from the top-
heavy reserves of refineries in other
Off to a concert.
sections, chiefly the Gulf states.
Then zip!—to a spot
At n double precaution, the agri-
To christen a hangar,
culture department ha» approved
A park or all-hot!
sharp increase■» in 1941 marketing
quotas, which were stepped up to
Whisk! To some city
9,002.97 • M m This is 2.3M.OOO ton»
To dig a big hole.
more than the quotas announced at
Run a steamshovel
the beg'inning c if the year and a mil
Or help to mine coal!
lion tu>na g re.¡iter than those ap-
pl.’ved July 30
This way and that way
With gusto and joy —
Some• sugar- producing areas, in-
eluding Cuba, are not expected to
“Flash" Fiorello."
supply their enlarged quotas, due to
The Dynamo Boy!
• • •
heavy drains on their raw stocks,
but Puerto Rico and U S beet areas
"Hank Greenberg Made Cor
have plenty of supplies on hand to poral " Headline.
meet the new marketing allotments.
The Hanks are coming!
Ml Kill GO IIOI Ml
Sen Bob Reynolds' hopes to be
the bridegroom of RlO.OOO-a-year
hcirh ss Evalyn McLean did not keep
the Raleigh. N C. post of the
American Legion from scorching
him for his isolationism
Friends of Jim Farley can always
tell when he is traveling abroad
The genial ex-Democratic chairman
keeps them posted w ith a trail of
personally penned picture post­
cards He mails them by the hun-
dreds Farley visited Honolulu with
two ot his children
A man named Low has been
named an official of the New
York gas shortage crisis.
• • •
Elmer Twitchell just couldn't re­
sist the temptation He walked up
to an auto bearing an "I Don't
Waste Gas" sticker and scribbled on
. it Wanna bet'"
• • •
I Inn Dodo says she isnlt worried
about America being drawn into the
1 war for the next month or ao. “It
I couldn't go in." she explains, “un­
til after the world series."
Exercise Can Bring Back
‘Lost’ Youth and Beauty
Double Chin Can Be onquered
old? That double chin
C ^ETTING
J means only that you're get­
ting soft!
Chin and neck exercises, you
know, can vanquish a double chin,
just as right exercises reduce fat­
ty hips or a bulgy tummy. When
unused muscles are brought back
to youthful firmness that “lost”
President Roosevelt has approved the recommendations of the line selection board, which selected 12 offi­
beauty returns!
cers of the grade of captain for promotion to the grade of rear admiral. Among the navy officers to step into
•
the charmed circle are, left to right. J. R. Beardall, J. F. Shafroth and O. M. Hustvedt. The promotion was
made necessary by the expansion of the U. S. navy to meet threat of war.
America Strengthens Sea and Air Arm
OS
Our 32 page booklet has exercise rou­
tines to correct all these figure faults, as
well as poor posture, "dowager's hump."
heavy legs. Also has general dally ex­
ercise routine, special exercises for relax­
ing tense nerves, relieving aching feet.
Send your order to:
READER-HOME SERVICE
117 Minna St. San Francisco, Calif.
Enclose 10 cents In coin for your
copy of BEST EXERCISE FOR
HEALTH AND BEAUTY.
Name..................................................... .
Address..................................................
Jaded Palates
The more we desire the more we
require. The more we demand to
whet our appetites, the more jad­
ed our palate becomes.—Rabbi L.
I. Newman.
INDIGESTION
what Doctors do for it
Doctors know that «as trapped in the stomach or
gullet may act like a hair - trigger on the heart. They
set gas free with the fastest-acting medicines known
— the fastest act like the medicines in Bell-ana
Tablets. Try Beil -ans today. If the FIRST DOSE
doesn’t prove Bell -ans better, return bottle to us and
receive DOUBLE money back. 25c. at all drug stores.
Distrusting
It is more disgraceful to dis­
trust than to be deceived by our
friends.—La Rochefoucauld.
Pictured at left is a view of the keel laying for the new 10.000-ton cruiser. Wilkes-Barre, at the recently
re-opened century-old Cramps shipyards, near Philadelphia. Upper right: Widely heralded new flying fortress,
probably world's deadliest instrument of destruction, emerges from the Boeing plant in Seattle for first test
flight. I.ower right: The U. S. cruiser San Juan, after being launched at the Fore River yard of the Bethlehem
Steel company, Quincy, Mass.
For Civilian Defense
Small and Great
Small men hate, while great
men pity.
Watch Your
Kidneys/
Help Them Cleanse the
of Harmful Hotly Waste
Your kidneys are constantly filtering
waste matter from the blood stream. But
kidneys sometimes lag in their work—du
not act as Nature intended—fail to re­
move impurities that, if retained, may
Coison the system and upset the whole
ody machinery.
Symptoms may be nagging backache,
persistent headacne, attacks of dizziness,
getting up nights, swelling, putTiuesa
under the eyes—a feeling of nervous
anxiety and loss of pep and strength.
Other signs of kidney or bladder dis­
order are sometimes burning, scanty or
too frequent urination.
There should be no doubt that prompt
treatment is wiser than neglect. Uss
Doan 9 Pille. Doan 9 have been winning
new friends for more than forty years.
They have a nation-wide reputation.
Are recommended by grateful people the
country over. Ask your neighbor!
DOANS PÌLLS
WNU—13
Attempting to steal the thunder of “Col. V. Britton." who is the
-parkplug of the British "V for Y’ictoa»” crusade, the Germans release
this photo to a skeptical world. It shows a great “v" inscribed in a pub­
lic square in Prague, Czechoslovakia. The Y' stands for Victoria, an
ancient German word for victory, long superseded by the familiar “sieg”
of modern Germany.
Alice Marble of California, assist­
ant director of civilian defense in
charge of physical training for wom­
en. looks over some civilian defense
insignia. Miss Marble was formerly
national singles tennis champion.
Resene«! 'l anker Fliers Land in British Port \ est Pocket Bations
39—41
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
We Con All Be
EXPERT
BUYERS
• In bringing us buying Information, as
to prices that are being asked for
what we Intend to buy, and as to the
quality we can expect, the advertising
columns of this newspaper perform a
worth while service which saves us
many dollars a year.
• It Is a good habit to form, the habit
of consulting the advertisements every
time we make a purchase, though we
have already decided just what we
want and where we are going to buy
It. It gives us the most priceless feeling
In the world: the feeling of being
adequately prepared.
Five American fliers who were cn rouke to England to fly for the
R A F. and who were rescued when their ship was torpedoed. Four
other Americans were drowned. The rescued men. who landed at a
British port, are, left to right: Norman Echord of Kansas City. Tom
Griffin of Mississippi. Jack Gilliland of Kansas, James Jordan of San
Francisco and Rivers Grove ot Georgia.
Lieut. Col. Paul Logan shown with
the army's new “vest pocket" ra­
tion for parachute troops, now being
tested by the quartermaster corps.
Three complete meals will be con­
tained in these tiny boxes, each
weighing but a few ounces.
• When we go Into a store, prepared
beforehand with knowledge of what is
offered and at what price, we go as
on expert buyer, filled with self-confi­
dence. It is a pleasant feeling to have,
the feeling of adequacy. Most of the
unhappiness in the world can be traced
to a lack of this feeling. Thus adver­
tising shows another of Its manifold
facets — shows Itself os an aid toward
making all our business relationships
more secure and pleasant.