Illinois Valley News, Thursday, May 22, 1941
Page Seven
Fun for the Whole Family
IMAGINARY DIALOGUES:
GARGANTUA AND TOTO
(■‘All efforts to get Gargantua, the
circus gorilla, and Toto, the Cuban
gorilla imported to be his mate, tc
be friends have failed.” — News
item.)
Gargantua (after one look)—Am 1
seeing things?
Toto—That’s just what I was ask­
ing myself.
Gargantua—I don't know what
you are, but do me a favor and
scram.
Toto—Listen. Funny Face. I’m not
here of my own accord. This visit
isn't my idea.
Gargantua—Well, it certainly isn't
mine.
Gee, but you’re a homely
dame.
Toto—That goes double for you.
If I was as ugly as you I’d do
something about it.
Gargantua (sadly)—There's only
one thing you can do about it, and
that's join a circus.
By ED WHEELAN
MOW.LlGTEN. SAM.I THINK
Vt>U COULD DO US MORE
HARM B>V STAVING A DAV
OR TWO AHEAD OF US
/
’ mell O.'S ilk ! SAV. YOU'RE \
TAKIN' AN AWFUL CHANCE^
\ COMIN ' RERE AIÑT ŸA ?"
besides , your own
f
\ SHOW WOULD DO A y
\ MUCH BETTER „
L-
Yrv BUSINESS '
.
V'K aa * a
Frank Jav Markey Syndicate, Inc
LALA PALOOZA
Toto—That’s what I’m here for
now!
Gargantua—So that’s it! They’re
trying to co-star me! Well, they
can’t do that to me.
Toto—Calm yourself. It’s not my
idea.
Gargantua—Nobody could get you
here if you didn’t want to come.
Toto—A dozen men brought me
here.
Gargantua—You could have licked
’em all!
Toto—You must have read Ar­
thur Brisbane.
By RUBE GOLDBERG
Vincent Fixes It for Lala
By C. M. PAYNE
S’MATTER POP—War Style Change—Bite Enemy, if Necessary
Gargantua—Aw, go away, please!
It was tough enough around here
when there was only one of us.
Toto—Didn't you ever think of get­
ting married?
Gargantua—No, that's my press
agent's idea.
Toto—Two can live as cheap as
one, Gargie.
Gargantua—Yes, but what do 1
care what I cost this circus. It's
got plenty of dough.
’ .
.
.
Toto—What you need is a nice
wife.
Gargantua—Where would I And
one?
Toto—How about me?
Gargantua (with a look of horror)
—I’m not monkey enough to marry
a girl with a mug like yours.
Toto—You’re no jungle Clark
Gable yourself.
Gargantua—Maybe not, but I’ve
got prestige. I’m probably the most
famous gorilla in the world.
Toto—You're just another big go­
rilla to me.
Gargantua—Where did you come
from, anyhow?
Toto—Cuba.
Gargantua—Now I know what
caused all that unrest there!
Toto—Lissen, you can’t insult me
like that. I wouldn't take you for
a husband. If I was your wife I'd
give you poison.
Gargantua—And if I was your
husband I'd take it.
Both (in a fury) — You BIG
GORILLA!
!
j
:
,
MESCAL IKE
By s. L. huntley
__________ A Pretty Strong Statement
1
,
i
RANKING BY TIMETABLE
A bank has been opened in a rail
road depot at New Rochelle, N. Y.,
and it is at least a novel idea. The
country has always wanted to see a
demonstration of how money could
be withdrawn or deposited at full
gallop by a man with his arms full
of garden tools and his coat half off
Elmer Twitchell wants to know if
the depot banks runs on eastern '
standard or daylight saving time. '
And there is sure to be the con­
fused commuter who isn't certain
whether he was to deposit $8 just
before the 7:55 a. m. or deposit 7:55
just before the $8 pulled in.
• • •
The U. S. treasury announces that,
despite metal priorities, it will con­
tinue to issue nickels. This country
has got to have a coin that will do
the work the penny used to do, or
nearly so.
• • •
Congressmen grow gabby at cock
tail parties and spill important wat
information, it is alleged. And prob
ably it’s true.
Congressmen are
talky enough when they’re cold so­
ber, let alone when they’re on their
fourth old-fashioned.
• • •
STEAM TOWEL VICTIM
There’s nothing that’s hotter
Than barbershop water.
—Merrill Chilcote.
• • •
Im a Dodo, starting her spring
planting, -makes the usual com
plaint: "No matter how I plan a
garden, it never comes up the way
they do at the Flower Show.”
• • •
CAN YOU REMEMBER
Away back when a tank was com­
monly accepted as just a fellow who
could stand a lot of lager beer?
• • •
Durlng that protonged drugstore
strike in New York thousands of peo-
ple got a chance to get over indi-
gestioa.
POP—Dash It All!
WHAT IS
THE- MATTER
WITH
YOU -
By J. MILLAR WATT
YOU ANSWER EVERY
QUESTION I ASK YOU
WITH ANOTHER
Suburban
Heights
GLUYAS