Grant's Pass courier., May 29, 1885, Image 1

G rants P ass C ourier
-----!— '
-
-
-------- 1----
-------------------------------- -- -
- ■ -
Au Independent Paper Devoted to the I"terests of Jo*phine County and Southern Oregon.
VOL. 1.
X.’’ 1X- ■ -r > « - -S.
GRANTS PASS, JOSEPHINE COUNTY,FRIDAY, MAY », I»«'.,
KEITH’S FERRY.
(Formerly }*resley*s"Terry>
f.auedsvury Friday morning.
J. H. 8TINE, • • - Editor and Publisher.
FERRIACE AT HALF RATES
Terms of Subscription:
One copy one year, in advance
Six Miles west of Grant's Pass on main
road leading to
WILDER VILLE.
KERBY VILLE and
CBEBCENT CITY.
.. .
D. W. KEITH, Proprietor.
One copy six months, in advance.
One copy three month#, in advance.
LITTLE & SCHAEFER.
CLUB RATES :
Rix copies one year, in advance.........
Term, of Advertising
legal .
One square, first insertion...................
Each additional insertion....................
House
12 ÜU
. 1 5U
LOCAL.
Local Notices, per line............................. 15 cent#
Regular advertisements inserted upon lib­
eral terms.
Job Printing
0« all
des« r Jjions done on sh< rt notice. Legal
of
ail des<
Dianka. CircT.ars. Buainebb Cards. Billhead'«.
IMIlartiea-ta Posters. ct- .^gotten up in goo ?
■lyle al lirii r prfc»-s.
—*——
Sign Painters,
UKAlNEltS, PAPKli HANGERS. Err.
'NT’s
P ah »,
OREGON.
o kwiM ll.l.l: I.
TORY.
>1. K. MANNA.
Physician and Surgeon,
Attorney and Counsellorat Law
G rant ’ s P ass , O regon .
Office in Orth building,
J acksonville ,
-
-
-
O regon .
Office at residence, corner Main ’and Thim
Btreeta. (’alls attended any hcur day or night.
II KELLEY,
Attorney and Counsellorat Law
G rant ' s P ass ,
O regon .
English and German Spoken.'
Office in Court House,
J acksonville ,
-
-
-
O regon .
T. B. KENT.
Office on Main street, near drug store.
Attorney at Law,
CHARLES ( HANSLOR,
G rant ’ s P ahs , O regon ,
Will practice in all the courts of the State.
OFFICE IN THE CGI RT HOI 8E.
J acksonville .
O regon .
Office in H. B. Miller & Co.’s store.
UNION LIVERY AND FEED STABLES.
•VOLNEY COLVIO,
Good Turnouts on Short Notice.
Notary
Nollll’V
l*ul»Ii<‘
Best of Carr 4-lvrii to Stock Left la
our Charge.
I * Il 1» 1 i<
And Justice of the Peace
CARDWELL* BERRY,
LEl.AI. BLANK« OF ALL HIXDM.
J àckhonvillk ,
:
:
:
:
O bboom .
Ix?gal instruments of all kinds promptly
executed.
CRITERION SALOON,
Office—8. E. Harkness' drug store.
CATON dt GARRETT, Prop rs,
if W. WHEELER.
I>
Keeps the best brands of
WINES.
I I< V >1 Æ X,
LIQUORS
AND
J acksonville ,
CIGARS
O regon .
GRANT S PASS. OREGON,
BREWERY! BfEWERY!
Fresh milk delivered in any part of
town in quantities
WILLIAM HEEEKY. Pr«p’r.
.úanufactures the
TO SUIT CUSTOMERS.
Best Beer in Southern Oregon.
Prices to suit the times.
J acksonville .
DR. PAUL J. A. SENILER.
O regon .
Portland Homoeopathic Pharmacy, Sunny Side Billiard Saloon,
51 Washington St., Portland. Oregon.
A. ( HALE, Proprietor.
CARO.
Guess she saw » hat I was u thinkin*.
An’ tiie-i not to be too bard,
'Causs she t<x»k advautage or the game,
An' settled the matter oy card.
she’d dealt, an' hearts were the trumpers.
Ned had ua»s»'d, aud it w a- iny say ,
IM a good hand, and thought she had,
She was smilin' in such a pna-aut way.
Moll au* Ned where chattin' right gaily,
So sax a 1 in a low mranin* tune;
“Shall we play together—now au* for
good ?”
Says she: ‘ I guess 1’11 go it alone.”
Jadpe
CANINE
Li tv rat ure «»f
uriUSIS.
th* suptruatural
Not
< oiifitr d to Mau.
An J mat '•vhicll Ls often;
I to
make ilL glio-th ajqienr.'.n •«■ 1» the dag.
rims, ajinan
atinaii woo
who haugml
naugeu n.iu-i
ILm-.'lf at
near Shrew-bury, "came
B. imiiu :<.*li|.
,
aga 11 in the form of a large black dog,”
and a headless black dog i» reponed to
aunt the road between Yeaton and
U isehnrch. A not uncommon belief is
that the spirits of wiek.d per-on» are
puirslied by he ng doomed to we ir for
a certain t.me the shape of a dog: and
according to a Sus ex -iiper-tit.on the
spirit of a favorite dog «li ch has d ed
returns occas onall . to v sit its master
and the haunts it freque t d during
l ie. “1 was onee informed by a ser­
vant," writes Mrs. Latham in her
••West Sussex Superstitions.” • w hom I
had des red to go down stairs and try
to stop the barking of a dog, wh’ch I
was alra d would wak -n a sleeping in­
valid. that nothing wou'd »top his
nos-, for »he knew qii te well In his
manner of barking that the ghost of
another dog was walking a out the
garden
and
terrifying
h in."
I’rad tions respect.ng tile e spectre
dogs
differ in
various
localities,
but are
st 11
lirinlv eied ted
by
our agricultural peasantry. In De­
vonshire they are known ns the ‘ Yelli
Hound-," and are said to lie the d -cm
bodied souls of unbapti/ed infa its
Tney were heard, wo are informed
some few years ago ill the Parish of St.
Mary l aw by an old man nanie.l Boger
Burn
He was w irking in the fields,
when he suddenly l.eaid the baying of
the hounds, the shout» nn.l hor..
'he
till it-inan. an 1 the smacking of h's
wh p.
Th s last | o ut the old man
pioted as at once settling the question:
• Now, could I be mistaken? Why, I
heard the icry sma 'king of h’s whip."
One* more, «..me yea s ago, an aeci-
lent happened in a Cornish mine,
whereby several men lost their 1 ves.
As soon a» help could b ■ procured a
party descended, Ini' the renia ns of the
poor fellows were d.»covered to b,* nm-
t late I hevond recognition
< hi be ng
brought up to the »urfaee. the clothes
a id a muss of niangh d tiesli dropped
from the bod es. A bystander, aux on»
to »pare the feelings of th ■ relatives
present, quickly < a-t this unsightly
ma s into the bl iz ng fiirn ice of an en-
g lie clo-e at hand. Hut ever s nee that
lav the eng nemati posdiieli as-e ted
that troops o' I ttle 1 lack d >gs coi.tin-
lally haunted th loealit
W Id Tdric.
a legendary hero, haunts th • stre ton
lldls in the form o' a large black dog
w th b'aek. tierv e\es
l.ondun Stand*
T/ealer in Homoeopathic Medicines for Keeps constantly on haad the best quality of
Physicians find Families, Professional
Literature, Physicians’ Supplies, Family
Wines. Liquors and Cigars.
Medicine Cases and Books, Druggists’
Sundries and Fancy Goods.
Our
Medicine Case, with directions, A SPLENDID BILLIARD TABLE
containing twelve remedies, ought to be
LIGHTNING RODS.
Tn connection.
in every household for emergency.
J acksonville , :
:
:
: O regon .
Se filler’s Specific Remedies for all
An Explanation of tlir Way They A«'t m
women ailments. Send for our Family
Nafe-G«mr<lx.
Homoe ipathic Assistant, containing use
K »: It li V V I I.Lf*. IIIKMTOHI
fill notes on Homoeopathic treatment and
A lightning-conductor consints essen­
price list of Medicines, Cases and Books.
tially of a long piece of metal, ]>ointed
Mail orders a specialty.
Satisfaction
guaranteed. Address,
at the end. whose business it is, not so
I)R PAUL J. A. SEMLEH,
One of the Best Hotels in South­ much (as most people imagine) to carry
P. O. box 87H.
Portland, Or.
off the flash of lightning harmlessly,
ern Oregon.
should it happen to strike the house to
GOOD BEDS!
GOOD TABLE? which the conductor is attache.!, but
And the best of accommodai ions
rather to prevent the occurrence of a
Connected with this hotel is a
flash at all. by gradually and gently
drawing off the «d.-ctricity as fast a, it
FIRST-CLASS LIVERY STABLE gathers, before it has had time to
MRS. ELLEN RYDER. Proprietress.
collect in sufficient force tor a destruc­
•I
K erby ville .
:
:
:
:
: O regon .
tive discharge. It resembles in effect
Proprietor.,
an overflow pipe, which drains off the
WILLIAM NAUCKE.
surplus water of a pond as soon as it
KEE>*»
MAIN STREET, • • GRANT’S PASS.
run» in, in such a manner as to prevent
the possibility of an inundation, w inch
might oe. ur if the water w.-re allowed I
Keeps the best brands of
to collect in force Isdiind a dam or em­
Fur good bargains in the line of
it is a ll.ssl-gate, not a
Hats, Cars. Biots and Shoes Gr General Groceries bankment,
moat it carries away the electricity of
Wines. Liquors and Cigars.
And everything in the way of
the air qiii.-tly to the ground. Without
allow ing it to gather in »ufficient amount
.Mining
to produce a Hash of lightning. It might
Those wishing bargains should «all on
thus be better called a lightning-pre-
WILLIAM
NAUCKE,
ventor than a lightning-conductor; it I
Fancy ¡11 Mixed Drins Pnl Do on Slwrt Notice.
K krbyville , O rfgon .
conducts cleetricitv. but prevents light­
ning
At tir«t. all lightning-rods used
to Is* made with knolw on the top, and
X. I
then the electricity used to collect al
Having fitted up our saloon in first elaas style
DEALER IM
we solicit a liberal shaie of patronage.
the surface until the electric force was
to cause a spark. In those
DRY GOODS AND GROCERIES sufficient
happy days, you had the pleasure of
And keeps constantly on hand
seeing that the lightning was actually
COURTEOUS ATTENTION TO OCR PATRON»
Hats. Caps. Boots and Shoea being drawn off from your neighls.rh.ssl
pi. rem.•»!. Knobs, it was held, must
—AND—
be the best things, because you could
incontestably see the sparks striking
General Mining Supplies.
the
them with your eyes. But as time went
Those wishing good bargain« must not fail to on, elwtricians discovered that if 5011
call at the
fixed a line metal point to the conductor
Kerbyvillo P. O. Building, of au electric machine it was impossible
to get up any appreciable charge, be-
K i rbvviu . c . O hkhow .
catiM- the electricity kept alwavs leaking
out bv means .if the isvint. Then it was
s.s-n that if vou made vour lightning-
EDGERTON 4 BURROUGHS.
rods pointed at the end. you would be
Proprietor. able in the same way to dissipate your
I’. M. HI 1.1.» H.
Propri, tor«.
electricity before it ev. i had time to
come to a head in the .hats* of lightning
THE -BW OF
Milt WTRF.rr. t.Rl\T>l PtH«S
From that moment the thunderbolt was
safelv dead and buried. It was urged,
indeed, that the attempt thus to rob
Gan b» «applied at reasonable price«.
Heaven of its thunders was wicked and
THE FINWT BRASI» OF
impious: But the common sense of
CHEAP FOR CASH.
mankind refused
le lies*- that absolute
O bkoon .
K khbyviixe .
omnipotence could I* aenait.ly defied by
twenty yards of cylindrical iron tubing
RICHARD P. GEOROE
t.'iriihitl Mayazinf,
...... — -»» • ^*
Kex'ps the fin .-st
and cicars
Rubber, or gutta-p<reha. may he
WHISKY. BRANDIES. WINES united firmly to m.-tal by the following
And all ether ll»pion>.
method Iti'-olve finely poW<lere<l shel­
lac in ten times its weight in purr spirits
LAO KAKI' THS! -
of ammonia. In three days the cement
BEST BRANDS OF CICARS, will have the ncresmary consistency.
io
A good Billiard and Pool Tat
The ammonia penetrate, the rubber and
Both Imprted and iH»n»e*ti<.
connection
enables the shellac to take a firm hold.
When all the ammonia is evaporate«]
th* ksnt withstands the te*netr*,i.oii of
F.XTON HOTEL.
THE ELDORADO SALOON.
L. L. JENNINGS & CO
Dry Goods and Groceries.
LAST CHANCE SALOON
Kerbyville Mills.
Flour. Cracted Wheat and Corn Meal
Wines,
L i q U o rs
COUBTBoV* ATTENTION T o P a TR o N*»
I
WAR DECLARED!
tlct. inquired: • tiuw aoout snaxspeur.-
—was be an Irishman!*’* to which lie
received the reply: “Well. I can’t say
Several Prompt Rejoinder» Worth exactly, but at ah events he had the Printers Strike at Last—Every
abilitiea of one
Prospect that they will
Chronicling.
A German paper tells a story of a
be Successful!
certain (tenera) whose servant was in
getting intoxicated
“Can you fight?*' shouted the charity the habit of
For some time past it has lieen gen­
••Jacques," at last »iuil his master
boy through the keyhole. “No. sir,"
to hiiu, "1 »hall have to send yon about erally conceded that the firms who, in'
repl cd Oliver Twist, meekly* from the your bii'ineas; 1 hear dreadful tales of
order to secure and hold their trade
other side of the door
“’'heu I’ll your goings-ou."
• Ah. (¡eneral," re­
whop you,” was Mr. Noah < laypole'a plied Jacques, quite unabashed, “if I are obliged to resort to the system of
prompt rejoinder.
Thia wk- to the believed all the bad things people say sending drummers on the road, are
j oint with a Vengeance, and here are about vou 1 should have gone away not the firms for a business man to
mi self long ago,”
many rejoinders worth chronicling
For calm presence of mind in the way deal with, unless he is satisti.sl with
e jually prompt, if not so bell
of answer, the following deserves a seventy .lve cents fur a dollar.
A
A man took a seat in
berber’s for. most place: “Do you drinkP” said
businesti man (and printers and pub­
chair.
He asked the barber t he had a temperance reformer to a beggar who
lishers are generally gissl business
bc- had implored aims of him. "Yes. thank
the same razor lie had nae^
you. sir,” returned the candid pauper; men) can readily understand that a
T»»irm.t-
fore, lk'ing answer»*d iu
“where shall we go?”
traveler's expense» have to be paid,
Mhvu
tive. the pat ent man saio
0.1».
ill V vou
, ...1 going to do when you
“M
hat are
nt h - ,-^ii
gi\w me chluroform
^.ifr^grow U|>, it vou 1 don't "knowhow u> aiul mil «>( I)««-
’ A*he cil>k»tuv?. just
he
'll IIIIIIIU I - ' \ | ■' H"
■
|
read,
write
and
cipher?"
asked
a
But
ten
a ; ‘ J
school-tea. her of a lazy, stupid boy. ilullai'H |'i't day, wlun iqu'ii 1« A. trip«
to the barb*r. An English g
who repl ed:
“l iu going to be 11
somewhat bald, entenxi a h*
,.-r. achooi-master.
au’ make the box s do of three ami four months l ip* means
in Paris to be operated upto
w /as
all the readin', wrftin' and cipherin’.’’ simple/r»
thunderstruck to find hinn
A small boy who is one of a family of
ten francs.
“leu franc J j
ex- ten children was taken out for a drive ytKxh. The drummer figure« in thti
way : He call» upon a puhlisher, who,
claimed, “for cutting my I 4 *- ”O
no, monsieur; not
i ‘ for
*
eutthg your with iiis mother. As they drove past a We will say, wants a |>ower press, and
small cottage of two rooms, Johnnie haa made up hi« mind to huy thela'st,
hair, blit fur finding the hair hcut.”
There is a story of a gentleman, called his mother's attention to it, who thinking (and rightly, too,) that the
when advocating the lit lity^d pubic remarked that it was a very small treat ia, in the long run, the cheapest.
• Yes," replied Johnnie, medi­
schools, raying: “Biron was ; Harrow house
He has decided u|sin a CamplH'll, or
boy.” “VV lint of that?” said an op- tatively; “it's »mall; but it would lie
perhaps a Cottrell pre»« (ami couldn't
plenty
b
g
<
nougli
for
our
family
if
it
Imnent; “Burns was a p'owbov.
have mad« a Iwtter choice), and figured
wasn't for yon and the children.
Equally neat
and
ready Tas tlw
This was matched in readiness by a carefully liJMin the freight, etc.—for­
woman's answer to an inquinr. who,
“This cottage for sail
nted lad who applied to the Captain of a getting, of course, the drummer’s ten
aee ng "This
»ail pa
painted
on aboard,
vv<tii:in in vessel for a berth. The Captain, w sh- l«er cent.; hut the drummer doesn't
board, politely a»ked
asked a wtfuan
He talk» all round, nibble»
front of the house wh n tlie c< tinge ing to int ni'rdate him. handed h tu a forget it.
was to sail. "Just as soon as fie man piece of r»|>e and said: "If you want first on one press mid then upon
comes who can raise the win«,’’ s a­ to make a good sailor, vou must make another, until he at last Slide a
three ends of the rope.” ‘1 cando it,”
tin' quick reply.
machine that limy he $100 or $200
he readily replied
“Hero is one, and
A shabbily dressed woman called
price limn the publisher’s
here is another that makes tw o Now. less in
upon a gentleman for a d.-< kiniing
choice, ami finding that the publisher
here
’
s
the
:hird,"
and
be
threw
it
over
­
that she was in a starving eoniition.
is m>t familiar witli the ¡¡ricr-, »««»Ze or
board.
He looked upon Iter plethoric loin, es­
"Don't vou find it hurts your lawn »iirZto.i i /(<< i /<7<« « of th«' piess, he then
timating the avoirdupo s of thesu|icr-
exert« Ins «'litire chili power U|«>n
tluous fat, and answered: "You don't to let children play up.m it ?” asked a
friend of a suburban the other day. eulogizing this ,»ower press.
I'eiluip«
look like a starving woman.” " know
"Yes." answered the gentleman ad­ it is a “Prouty"—it will grind out
it.' »he whiningly answered; "I'm
dressed; "but it doesu't hurt the chil­ anything, from quartz to satiaage«, in
bloated with grief.”
dren."
three color«.
1’he publisher orders a
A railroad engineer saving tint the
“Are you lost, my little fellow?” pre»»—gets a quartz crusher; drum­
usual life of a locomotive was old, thir­
aakisl a gentleman of a four-year-old mer makes ten days’ expenses—hur­
ty years, a passenger remaikev that
one dak. "No,” lie sobbed ill reply;
such a tough-look ng th ng ou^it to
ries along to reneh some pleasant
“l.ut iny mother is." "And how does
live longer than t mt.
"Well.' re­
loafing town—thinks lie’s siiuirt—has
Charlie
like
going
to
schoolP
”
kiudh
sponde.) the eng.neer, "péihrps it
Inquired a good mall wf a juvenile who not tune to see this publisher m at
would, it it didn t -moke so tnitel.”
In short, the drummer fur sec­
was waiting with a liu can in his hand trip.
• 1 think I'll get out ami slrvUh my
the advent of a coinpanic 11. "I like ond-class Imuses (for such are they
legs a little,” -aid a tall mail, a. the
goitl’ well «'Hough,” lie ivpli.si: "but I that will foist inferior ty|>«' mid ma­
tram stoppisi at
a
station. "Oli,
don’t like staying after I get there.”
chinery ii | m « ii printers mid publisher«,
don't!” .»ad a passenger wlio hai been
Quite as ingenious was tlie answer under the plea that they are “ cheap,”
sitting opposite to him, and wlu had
of a boy who was kept after school for knowing tiiat they muni yet ten ¡>errent.
been inncli embarrassed by ili lvgs of
bad orthography, and excused himself mor> than any ipthcr hoiiiv, in order to
les tall 1 ompanio:i "don't dothat!
to his parents bv saying that lie was pay the drummer) aims tn make Ids
They are too loag already!”
spell-bound. "VYliat shall 1 talk Io
Afa»t youth asked at aeitv re»tairant:
expense« by pliiusildy repre«eiitiiig
“What have you got?” "Almost <verv- vol. : bout?” said 11 clergyman Io Some giiisls for what they are not. at a re-
scliool
children.
"About
ten
in
Hutes,
”
thing. sir,” was tlie reply, "»ell,
dm ed price.
exelaiiued a young girl.
give m« «ome of that.” " _
ir—
Now, then I. a ditt' ieim Is tv.i in
“Here's »..nr money, doit'” cried an
Hash!” »Ii.nited tin! wa lei rf-Wf, I lit!’ angry
debtor. "Now, tell me why flu» sei oml-elasS firm s drinnmer aqt
■peaking-tul e.
You take the liirgeyl
your master wrote eighteen letters the first class.
More good-natured and piite as
about that paltry sum. ' "I am sure house, for instance, in the business.
much to the point is the following
I can't tell, sir,” said the shop-boy; They figure flint they have four-fifth»
A man was hurrying along tlie street
"hut I think it was liecau».' srv. ntv.'ii of nil the trade; they make more sales,
the oilier night, when another man,
letters didn't fetch it."
though on smnller im-ri'ins ; they are
also in violent ha»le, rushed out of an
“Don't you know it is very wrong to
alley, and the two collided with great smoke, my boy?” »aid an old lady to relialile; they don’t lose customers;
their aggregate profits are larger;
force.
I lio second man looked mild:
a youngster who persisted in pulling, 11
wliil«! tlie polite man. takingotf his hut.
they say, “ W e can afford to devote the
cheap cigar. “Oh. I smoke for my
sad: "My «iear
'
«ir. 1 ....................
don't know
health," answered the boy, saucily. prolit.', of a portion of our hu.im «« to
which of us i» to binine for th s violrnt
"But you never heard of a cure by securing new hiisini'««, or to estab-
encounter, bui 1 ani in too great a smoking.” she continued presently. Jishing n brancli where it will be mi
hurry to investigate.
li
I
ran ••O Vis, 1 did,” persisted the boy, iieeonilmslatioii mid n help to our
into you,
1
bug
tour
pardon;
blowing a big cloud; ' that's th« wav customers;" or, if the trade is limited
if you rati into me. don t inent on it;” they cure pigs.” "Smoke on. then.”
ami will not support a brain h house,
and lie t .... awa at redoubled speed.
quickly replied til." old llldv.-' tllere's they can sc«,.! ,,ui their traveler. The
W ell nriteh 'd in politeness and readi­ some hope for V oil yet.”
t:rm handle* uulji f/u I««/ type, pre««*'»
ness wa« a gentleman who-e button
An American strolled into a fashion­
Their
eauglit hold of the fringe on a lath's ahi«! church jil't before the service be­ mid machinery in the world.
traveler is requin-d (•> sell only the
shawl. "Tin attached to vou,” sad gun.
The sexton followed him lip.
There
the g. ntleniau, laugh ng. wh le lie was and lupp ng h ni on the shoulder, mid la st mid always at one price.
indu«tr ously trying to g> t loo,e.” pointing to a -mall cur tlmt hail fol­ is no chance for publishers Is ing im-
"'Tlie attachment is mutuai. ' was the lowed him into the aacreil edifice, |«i««'d ii|H>n if they are determined t<>
g.H>d-iiatur.st reply.
I lien buy from the best
said:
"ltogs are not admiltisl.” liny the Is st.
Woman's wit was not badly illus­ •■Tha.'s not my dog,” replied the visi­ firm in your line of liiisiiic««, ami you
trated win n .111 idle fop said to a lady: tor. "But In follows you.” "Well, will buy from J' ai . mkh 4 IlltY.
“Mv dear Mi.-s Smith, why dal you not so do vou.” The sexton growled, and
If you are )ocate<l in Oregon or
take advantage of lesp-yc* Io get rentov.-d the dog with unneeessHry v o
Washington T« rritory, hue from the
married!' * - "Recalls«* I am not a’.le to
lence.
Portland house, wh«*re you can pur­
earn enough Io support a husband,”
"That sermon did me good," said one
was the tiiiex|(ect«*<i answer
Equally friend to another, after hear ng an elo­ chase him r than th«1 drummer can ««11
ready was a young in s« to whom her quent preacher. "We »hall »< •■,’’ wa« you tyf ten /n-r n nt.
sweetheart «ani:
“You ap- such a
the reply.
strange girl that really 1 don't know
A CONSUL'S DILEMMA
A melting sermon being prctiched in
what to make of vou. ’ “Well, then. a country «■nurch, all were atlecti'd ex­
I
hr
I
Iiforl»in>«tr
|*<»«ith»n In Whieh a llrlt
I'll U'll toll, Charlie," slat refilled, cept one man, who was asked why he
Uh Olllrrr W.» > I’l.«« ««I l»nrlnic the War
"make a wife of me.” It is satis­ did not weep with th« rest. "Oh,
H »I III« IfHppy |>< IH« i .in« • .
factory to add that he d d so at the »ad hr, "I belong to another parish.”
<’olone! E«lu;ir<l < antwell, who i» at
earliest op|>ortunity.
Mtudent reciting:
"And -er then
Two young married French ladies he er went er and er”
The pre- nt on«* of the prof»- -or» at the
were tslkmg about their husbands. ela-s laugh. Professor: "Jton t lull di (»«orgia Military A»a«hinv. in Savan­
Said one ut them
"¡>0 you really gentlemen: to err is human ”
na li, was mil t try <« ov « iii »r of Noi folk
th nk vour Jules went shooting yester­
"Is it a sin.” asked a fa-liioniibln iiiulvr tlx* <
S. A , in IMfi’J, ami or
day?” "Well, I don’t tlirW li«' tried
lady of her spiritual ilireetor, "for me
to <li < e vc tun yesterday; 1' 1 incline I to feel plea-iire w hen a gentleman say s fiore I tlic Brit'mli ( ondili to report for
to think lie went.” ■ lli:| «• 1« <1 'hi t I am iimid»oiiie? ’ "It ia, n.v daugh­ <lntv on the boni** ”iiai«l. I^*tthej a t -
bring bat's any game? ’ ••''X’ *J»«
j.* what
t«*r was mor«* willing to -«•r»<,~TI'li
ter,” he replied gravely; "we should
make- me feel sine he «I d ¿'o "’ ' wa<
was the never dcliglit in fals.diood ” "Ito.' try in th«* patii« of peae»* am» plea-onit-
ti«”»«. ami obje •1«,«l on t In* groom! of !»•-
wife’s reply.
tor,” »aid a gentleman to hi« clergy­
As ready, but more spiteful, was the man. "how can I Iwst train my l.ov in rig < o’isiil at Norfolk.
011-11I to what (»<»»«• rn111 «■ nt, - r?
answer V> a crusty old fuHow, who th«! way he shoul.l go?” "By going
‘•'Fotin* I nitml Stat» » < ¡ov«rfini«'nt
once a-kml
“What is th«! re v«on that that way yourself," was the unexp.« ted
•‘But, air, yon a •• not in th»* l'nil«,l
griffin», diarous and demonmre ladies’
reply.
States yon are n t e
favorite «ubicete for embroidery de­
Being aske.1 how he liked the IH-r
>tat«*s. ami yo i nut I »ho
signs?'' ••Oh, bccau*e they are con
formance of a certain Drama! <• < Iilb.
tinually thinking of their Im bands.” an auditor repl < <i that he should ic red.ting you to the
State» nt America.”
was the Indy's quick retort.
"hardly call it a club, but rather a Col­
‘ But my Government doiTt rec
More |«o.nled than polite i« the fol­ lection of »ticks.”
)Oti a» a Government.”
lowing strange recipe for conjugal har­
The foregoing are-cvere cnoii I. bill
“Very well, then, my Govcr
mony
Concerning s couple
well for <'onccntrat*‘u spite niu-i v "-Id tlie
known for the r mutual outward palm to the one with wlileh «•• «•«in­ ilon’t rei ogtrze you a» n ('orinili
and vis hie allection. It wa- a-ked by a clude. An impeciimouv fortune-hunter rnuxt shoulder your riinnkel ami jo n
wan the laconic
neighbor
"Why is she »" fond of had been lieen ac cpted by all li. ires« v our com pu ny.
her bu»b:ind’" “B<“,«.iis« »•• H per- At tn« W'sid ng "hen thst port on of *w«*r of i olon**! ( fiiitw<*ll.
th«*
unwarlike
Ho wcver.
(«e J • unintelliaii'ie. '
Ann why do«« the ceretno'l v w « IC O lied w In <• till'
11hr«';»t«‘n»,<l Io hav«! a gunboat
he adore her?” "Became «be is al-
bridegroom nays "With all my world­ »ml I om’n» d Norfolk before be wo
meat a little idiot.”
ly g'Hcl, I thee endow.” a spiteful rela­ I -ervp.
A la«ly once remarked to a clever ac
tive of th'* brill« exclaim**'!
"There
«a d th-* ('»«lonel, “that 1« juvt
tor who had a broken nos- "I like
g«M*« his val «*•”’ r
r«’ Jnartiat. what I wouhl like
lik«* to see,
see for th«*n th«*
vour ai ling. «Ir; but to be frank w.th
i nif»*«l Mate wilt 1^«» to work to tiirht
you. I can t get over your mw
"N'o
Advantages of Thinness.
>t cLiini» that Norfolk iw
I 10'1
wonder, madam." repliwl he; "the
Mr. I cart of th«* I’nion, iiixl then, N'I m
bridge is gone.”
•*N’o more, tliank you.
+,qual)y reuiy wa« Mother actor. Jinks at Mr«. I*« Lainnie s tiv
clock »<»u und th.' Tn t**«l 8tat.'« fighting.
<»hiill go fr«»«*. ”
« ho«e lienetit re-ulte«l in a very thin tea "I really must re»tri«-t n
If for
However, the ••ml of ¡t win tin* < «> >
bouse. Th«' a tri -« in the «••ne w th
1
live
a long tim • to come.
I g*
«III Ap)M*i»h’<t to Mr. I<’iijntnin. (*«>nh*«l
him «jicaking very low in her commun-
»*r:ile Becrrtnry of War. who ord« red
icatOns With her lover, h« ex«laim«-d, pounds in weight la»t year
I a .
hi« exemption from military duty, and
"Five pounds! ' slid Mr«
with woful humor: "My dear, you mar
M i -o Dm three •c <■ .ru«*r d war that Colonel
laugh« I merrily s« »*>« surv
■peak out; there is nolaaly to hear us.
Cantwell want**d to jmm * <li«l not er-«e,
It i« related that at theotwra in »»•»»> Jinks »kin and bone phtsiqui
"Y«»s."
replied Jinks, M» I«* ru h Iy, and <‘on-e«|U<*ntly the C. 8. A d d a il
lin a genth'inan «areas!icatly a«k««l a
nian standing up in front of h m if he “¡iv« pound«, and if I am to hi»v»‘ Any go free. >»»»•*•»• »4A/»/’«.
’iM kwp my
|iM*. The
mu««
was aware that he was of»*‘f"
“ comfort in th's life I 1 ni
other denied the allegation, and «aid weight down
ent
If'-re
my
• Any comfort!” exclaimed th»* h«»»t-
h«' wa« O'Brien.
You WOI" il t a
•• Irteli is «w, puzzled "What «s.mfort can tbere
The natural readiness of
As'o I sin I b »»
well shown in an argument 1« 'tweet a be in going through life a living »kcl-
In.l g nt f
Saxon an«l * Celt resfiei'tinf I be na­ »ton ?
V
r b*u
r t »Id 11)4*
••I’ll tell yon.” answered Mr. J «•on-
tionalitv of var.ous great man ie ho had
•** h»|
M*t* 111
"It i« «0 easy to timi
live«! and di««T Th«* Irish ras r I had ■«>'- fid* ntially
eessivejy elaune«i each «Mie mentioned rnatigli xf»EC* for « ••*»1 i*1 » <-row«le«|
o
• ■ a Ooiintrvman of his own. till at •treet-enr, »n«J *o
to know that
E r ittf
length the Lnrlishman. aorte'what net no woman w»nUi ik”
A
TO THE POINT
You nee, I’d kept her company
For quite a good long time past,
An’ that night I'd made up my mind
To ask her to have me at lust.
The
I.IVE I M A < V
BY
We were playin' euchre l&at evenin’;
There were four of ue in the gaui»
Mollie wm Ned's fair partner:
Mme wu--guess I won t tell her name.
All kinds oi wort in our ime Promptly Due.
W It. FLANAGAN, ,M D„
DR. F. W. VAN DYKE.
ANSWERED
- I
NO. 9.
Florrurt Fuola a Hotel Clerk.
(New York Bun.)
Florence, the actor, got a little fun out of
the anti-Jewish cruRade at a summer hotel.
His jovial face has Irish lines in it, but no
line am *nt could be construed as Jewish. H»<
hud read about the situation, and it cam»
in o his mind as he w alked up to the registry,
lie wrote in the book “8. Isaacs, New York.”
Th»» clerk looked at tlie signature in sudden
iilai th , and then gated earnestly into the
cm.’ I ini’s visage.
“Is U m »X your nanv,
r ’ b* stammered, quite thrown Oil his
usual »tea iy balance. “Dot ish my name,
ye<* was the reply, in excellent dialect
‘ 1 *<x*ka—Solomon I-socks." “Then 1 am
>.»r v to say that we can’t give you a room. ’’
his point the bystanders laughed, an ?
au’or*# joke was duly noted for public »
lion.
A Noted Jonrnallet and Author.
COL. DOWN PIATT.
A dectmdant of one of the early French
rettlerx, his grandfather a distinguished of­
ficer of the Revolution, and his father a
merchant an I banker of Cincinnati, Doun
Piatt retains many of the charaeterietk» of
the FrtTicbinan.
A native of Ohio, le
studied law*, was admitted to the liar, an I
shortly after placed on the bench from which
he was appointed to the diplomatic scrvice at
Paris by President Pieroe. At the cutbreak
of our civil war he entered as a private, and
soon after a< <’<>|>te<i a position on the staff of
Gen. Rolx*rt U. Schenck, serving with horn r
through th-» war. In 1H65 Col Piatt was
Icelcd from Ixignii eoimiy to the Ohio legis­
lature, her«’ he made himself obnoxious to
the politicians by his advocation of reform
m asures. Kickening of polities, with an
« x|x*rieme that has si ne'e proved invaluable
to him, he turns i his attention to journal«
ibin. For three years Washington correspomi-
eut of The Cincinnati Commer- ial he sup
pli«‘d that |>a|M*r with adetter a • iy during the
sessions of congivsa. These letters were a
tremendous success, ‘he reason for which
('oi. l’iatt says was that “the American
public longed for personalities and I catered
to that taste. In Washington 1 found the
house a cave of the winds, and the senate a
preposterous fog-bank. My holdiag a solemn
ol«i j ump of a senator up to ridicule was a<
startling as it was delicious to the public.’1
At tho end of his three years work a* cor-
i'cb)X)iideiit he joined with George Alfred
V'vtw tiM«* ¡XI in xtnrting The Washington Cap
Uol. Townsen I shortly afterwards retir d
from the pap’r, as did Mr. Piatt H time.
Tlir Uri» er oí .1 m »-K» e-Kve.
KDWIN D. BITliKit.
Thia now famous j»« key was brought up
on the nt< ck farm of Mr Case, the owner of
Jay-Eye-Nee, at Racine, WUcondn Though
but thirty years of age ha has already shown
remarkable ju<igm<nt ana trainer, and cool
netm and patience as a driver.
Riot Too Frond.
(From Texas Biftinga]
A gentleman who owns a fine tract of
cedar land not far from Austin, Tex , a few
dnys ago was told that some negroes w> re
cutting down the timber, so lie ro le out to
see nixmt it. To bis astonishment he found
a wealthy white neighbor, with a team and
wagon, hauling off the timber.
“Why, I **m astonished, colonel,** said the
owner of the land. “1 heard that a lot of
negroes were stealing my timber and here I
find you, a »»hlte man, cutting my timber.
Y<»U ought to be axhamed * f yourself.**
•‘Well, to tell the truth,** rvepoadtd the
other 1-arty, “I do hate to steal the Umber
like a darkey, but these cedar tn*es make
such bully feme rails that 1 concluded to
drop all pride of race.**
The l.dltor oí The lrl«h World
Patrick Ford began newspaper work hi
printers Ix>y on («arriaon’a Liberator in Bun­
ton. He afterward published a paper in
(’harlenton, H U. With his present ¡taper ho
w irliia a large influence among our ci ti ar ns
of Irish birth. He has raised funtil» ax great
aa | rsi.ot« for various patriotic purpeasa
Mr Ford la oi an extremely retiring diapoaF
tion. Hr Hvea in Brooklyn, N.V..an<! is not
-*‘< n at the office of his ¡taper in New Y ork
more than once a year.
The Way Io the J om ri»a!l*tlc Heart.
[Oil City (Pa.) Bliuard )
The *I i U m lai hetfK wasgladdened through
the editorial stomach today by a gift of
»me eseviUat apple« and iuackma peachra
from the eture of John MH'un•*.