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About The Columbia press. (Astoria, Or.) 1949-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 29, 2021)
The Columbia Press October 29, 2021 Senior Moments with Emma Edwards Prepare yourself for a bevy of corny Halloween jokes Q: What do ghosts eat on Halloween? A: Ghoulash! Brings back memories, doesn’t it? It seems we lived on ghoulash when we were feeding eight at the table. My mind must be on Hal- loween, since it is just the day after tomorrow. But Hallow- een on a Sunday? You maybe wonder when it last fell on a Sunday. Halloween hasn’t been on a Sunday since 2010. Before that, it was last on a Sunday in 2004. But before I forget, here are a couple more Halloween jokes: What soccer position does a ghost play? Ghoulie! What animal is best at base- ball? A bat! By the way, I did a little research and learned that a quarter of all candy sold an- nually in the United States is purchased for Halloween. Remember BP (before pan- demic), when we stocked up on lots of candy and the kids delighted us when they rang our doorbell and shouted “Twick or Tweet”? Just to prepare my senior friends for when they see the young ones, here is a ques- tion: Why don’t bats live alone? Because they like to hang out with their friends! Halloween surely has changed over the years. Local churches host annual Hal- loween “Trunk or Treats.” Churchgoers have been bringing bags of wrapped candy and other goodies to church for a few weeks now. Several will be in the church parking lot with their car trunks open, full of treats and let the kids dig in. Parents are grateful for this effort and the kids love it. Another Halloween ques- tion: What did the pump- kin need for its boo boo? A pumpkin patch. The church events began in the mid-1990s as fall festi- vals to provide an alternative to trick-or-treating. They be- came “trunk-or-treats” two decades later. The activity involves the open trunk of a car, a display of candy, and, often, games and decorations. We seniors, as well as kids, must be careful not to be gob- lin’ too much candy or we will have a tummy ache. By the way, plain toast – toasted bread or zwieback -- can help stop the rumbling in a belly that’s suffering from candy overdose. Other people may prefer a warm bath followed by the heating pad. But, like I said, avoid gob- lin’ too much candy too fast. What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese. (I can’t help myself!) Here is a question for those of you who have friends that are twins. What is the prob- lem with two twin witches? You never know which witch is which! God gave us laughter and perhaps that is part of why I enjoy Halloween. “Laugh and the world laughs with you; weep, and you weep alone” – from the 1883 poem “Solitude” by Ella Wheeler Wilcox. 7 Warriors football defeats Blanchet, 32-0 By Bruce Dustin For The Columbia Press The Warrenton Warrior football team beat Blanchet Catholic 32-0 in an away game last Friday night. In the first quarter, Ethan Caldwell scored on a 6-yard pass from Hordie Bodden Bodden. The point after failed. The score at the end of the quarter was 6-0. Ethan scored again in the second quarter on a 41-yard pass from Hordie. Joshua Earls made a two-point con- version. Hordie then had a 1-yard run for a touchdown. The points after failed. It was 20-0 at half time. In the fourth quarter, Max Smith had a 7-yard run for a touchdown. When Hordie scored on a 70-yard run, the game’s scoring was finalized at 32-0. Hordie completed 14 out of 22 passes for 235 yards and rushed 11 times for 155 yards and two touchdowns. Dylan Atwood had 20 runs for 115 yards. Max Smith rushed five times for 35 yards and one TD. Ethan had three receptions for two TDs. Mikey Ulness had two re- ceptions for 48 yards. Hordie had five tackles -- two for a loss of yardage. Dylan had seven tackles. Kaison Smith had five tack- les -- two for a loss. He had one sack. The Warriors were away Thursday against Yamhill Carlton to complete the reg- ular season. Mayor’s Message by Henry Balensifer III Fall brings change and annual fall festival Fall is in full swing, and winter is coming. Our fall festival is imminent and it’s moving forward with bigger and better things. We’ve got the annual fish toss — an homage to our cul- ture as a capital fishing city, the inaugural pumpkin tre- buchet — positively medie- val, and, of course, trunk-or- treat and other great things happening. I’m looking forward to it greatly, both for the fun ac- tivities, but mainly to see you all! Spruce Up Warrenton is an independent (not part of city government) group that puts on our Fourth of July Parade, the Fall Festival, as well as some of the movies in the parks and other community events. They’ve cleaned up park and trails, and more recently petitioned the City Commis- sion to change the city’s of- ficial flower to one that has a long history in the area — the daffodil. Most people prob- ably don’t think about how prominent daffodils were in Warrenton and Clatsop Plains, but up until about the 1940s, daffodil farms were very common. That’s the reason the city has a ton of wild daffodils that come up each spring within the Skipanon estuary and in just about every open pasture. There’s an interesting his- tory behind our current offi- cial flower, the phlox, which isn’t really common, but I will leave that for my second “History with the Mayor” Facebook live event. On a more serious note, the city finished another work session on the houseless is- sue and it continues to hold public meetings. Tuesday night’s work session dealt with how to implement re- cent state legislation passed in the wake of recent federal litigation. The city has, per the state law, until 2023 to make code amendments and come into compliance with certain as- pects of the houseless is- sue and we intend to have amendments in place sooner than later. I encourage everyone to keep eyes on the public meet- ing notices as published in The Columbia Press. You can access the meeting packets — the same ones the commis- sion gets — at the city website as well. Special columns in The Columbia Press Every week: Senior Moments with Emma Edwards Week 1: Financial Focus with Adam Miller Week 2: Here’s to Your Health from CMH Week 3: Spotlight on the City Final week: Mayor’s Message by Henry Balensifer