A4
OPINION
Blue Mountain Eagle
Wednesday, December 26, 2018
FARMER’S FATE
What does the
mother say?
By Brianna Walker
For the Blue Mountain Eagle
As a mom, do you ever feel like
you repeat the same phrases every
day?
“Don’t touch that.”
Too late, great globs of grease
squished through their little fi ngers
as they play in black goo blobbing
from the grease Zerk. You may also
holler this at them as they reach
for an expensive-looking vase at
someone’s house, or maybe just
as they reach for your clean jeans
with their grease-smeared fi ngers.
“Don’t eat that!”
This phrase is used all the time.
We rely pretty heavily on the
“10-second rule” at our house. OK,
honestly it’s more like the “25-sec-
ond rule.” Even so, there are still
limits. Dirty food is one thing, but
frosting with pine needles or ants?
Or just handfuls of dirt? I feel I
am constantly saying things like,
“Don’t lick the sand. Don’t eat
the rocks.” This phrase includes,
but isn’t limited to, leaves, sticks,
bugs, small toys, coins and their
sibling’s dessert.
“Pick up your toys.”
You may as well make a record-
ing of this and play it over an inter-
com system every 30 minutes or
so. It doesn’t matter if you are in
the tractor, swather or their room.
They will get out enough toys to
cover the entire fl oor. Even with
constant reminders, toys will be
left out. The amount of toys is
directly proportional to the chance
that you will be walking barefoot
— especially in the case of Legos.
“Don’t hit!”
This one covers a multitude of
situations. Don’t hit your brother
or the cat. Don’t throw balls, rocks,
sticks or anything else toward the
house — they’ll hit a window.
Easy on the dirtbikes — you don’t
want to hit the machinery com-
ing off your jumps. Watch the rake
behind the tractor; you don’t want
to hit the fence.
“Don’t climb up there!”
If there is anything that can be
climbed, I have faith that two lit-
tle boys will fi nd it. Smiling faces
wave happily over the edge of
peaked haystacks — or from the
tops of orchard ladders, little feet
barely touching the top rung as
they struggle to reach the next
branch in the tree. When they can’t
think of their own things to climb,
my husband will put them on bales
and raise them as high as the hay
squeeze will reach.
“No, no, no!”
You remember the recording of
“pick up your toys” suggested ear-
lier? I think this is another well-de-
served time for a recording. I try
to say “yes” as often as I can, but
“no” still comes out more than any
other word. No, you can’t eat the
cat’s food. No,
you can’t bring
the mouse in the
house. No cake
for breakfast. No
lambs in your bed.
No Muck boots
for church. No, you can’t use the
toilet brush to scrub your toy cars.
No, the cat doesn’t want to take a
bath with you.
“Shhhh. Just listen...”
This comment is practically
worthless, but that doesn’t mean
it gets said any less. It comes at
times when there are loud discus-
sions over the rules of a game, or
when instructions need to be read,
but everyone already “knows” the
information. It often follows the
phrase “no, no, no.” Usually with
tears and “but Mommy,” upon
which I try to clarify with “Shhhh,
just listen ...”
“You’re my favorite boys in
the whole world.”
This one is usually met with “I
know,” and probably will have an
eye-roll too when they get older.
It’s often said at bedtime as they
close their mischievous eyes and
I smooth their hair and kiss their
forehead. It’s also said to kiss away
owies and ease their tears. Some-
times it’s whispered to myself
during moments of frustration
to remind me that “this too shall
pass.”
Recently,
my
2-year-old
decided he needed a bigger chore
than just picking up his toys. He
took it upon himself to start taking
out the kitchen garbage. He pulls
out the liner, does his best interpre-
tation of tying the strings, replaces
the liner, then drags the sack (that
is often as big as he is) out to the
dumpster. He takes great plea-
sure in doing this and often dumps
the trash several times a day —
whether it needs it or not.
Then one evening as I tossed an
egg shell into the trash, he turned
and gave me a stern mom-look.
“Mommy! No!”
“What’s the matter?” I asked.
What happened next surprised me
on many levels.
“Don’t put icky garbage in
there,” he pointed adamantly at the
trash. “Parker try to keep garbage
clean. Mommy can’t put icky gar-
bage in. No, no, no. Take out!” I
started to explain what the garbage
can was for, but he interrupted.
“Shhhh, just listen. Parker try
keep it clean. Don’t make mess,
Mommy! Parker loves Mommy,
but Mommy can’t make mess!”
What else to say? I “cleaned up”
my eggshells as I repeated again to
ears that apparently were listening,
“You’re my favorite 2-year-old in
the whole world!”
Brianna Walker occasionally
writes about the Farmer’s Fate for
the Blue Mountain Eagle.
WHERE TO WRITE
GRANT COUNTY
• Grant County Courthouse — 201
S. Humbolt St., Suite 280, Canyon City
97820. Phone: 541-575-0059. Fax:
541-575-2248.
• Canyon City — P.O. Box 276, Canyon
City 97820. Phone: 541-575-0509.
Fax: 541-575-0515. Email: tocc1862@
centurylink.net.
• Dayville — P.O. Box 321, Dayville
97825. Phone: 541-987-2188. Fax: 541-
987-2187. Email:dville@ortelco.net
• John Day — 450 E. Main St, John
Day, 97845. Phone: 541-575-0028.
Fax: 541-575-1721. Email: cityjd@
centurytel.net.
• Long Creek — P.O. Box 489, Long
Creek 97856. Phone: 541-421-3601.
Fax: 541-421-3075. Email: info@
cityofl ongcreek.com.
• Monument — P.O. Box 426,
Monument 97864. Phone
and fax: 541-934-2025. Email:
cityofmonument@centurytel.net.
Blue Mountain
EAGLE
Published every
Wednesday by
Contributed photo
Leica Geovid rangefi nding binoculars have a laser rangefi nder built in.
SHOOTING THE BREEZE
Knowing the distance
By Dale Valade
For the Blue Mountain Eagle
Many are the times we as hunt-
ers have gotten lucky when it
comes to guessing range. Some
are seemingly extraordinarily
good guessers while others have
a trusted system. These systems
sometimes involve the scope ret-
icle or comparing the size of the
deer with nearby landmarks. Many
and varying are these systems, but
none so sure as what modern tech-
nology provides.
Laser rangefi nders, like so
many other household items we
use these days, were originally
invented for military applica-
tions. My research revealed the
fi rst laser rangefi nder came to be
in 1964 and was created to be used
in tanks. During the Vietnam War,
handheld rangefi nders were being
experimented with for use in scout
and sniper applications. Those
who were there will be the fi rst to
tell you that these were question-
able in their reliability.
Today, laser rangefi nding
equipment is super reliable and
as ubiquitous as Remington Core-
Lokt ammunition. There are
products available
nearly everywhere
for every need and
budget. The pock-
et-size handhelds
are more than is
needed for most big
game hunters, some
reaching clear out to 800 yards
reliably. The features are endless,
calculating for bow, rifl e, shotgun
slug, blackpowder or handgun.
They can be programmed with
your ballistics charts, account for
weather, shot angle and altitude.
Some binoculars and rifl e scopes
come with laser ranging technol-
ogy, all designed to help John and
Jane Q. Hunter make better shots.
Knowing all this information is
revolutionary indeed.
I, for one, feel confi dent to
300 yards in my “guessing” abil-
ities. That being said, there are
times I’ve missed purely because
I missed my guess. I’m sure many
of you experienced hunters and
shooters can relate. The real joy
of these laser rangefi nders is the
removal of any need to guess. You
can know the distance for a fact.
Caution and experience will
teach you what you can and can-
not do. These rangefi nders are not
infallible. Any target that doesn’t
refl ect light will be a poor conduit
for your ranging efforts. Often-
times a rock or tree near your tro-
phy animal is a much more effec-
tive target for the laser to measure
the distance. Any brush or branches
that might get in your line of sight
can result in a false measurement
so make sure you have a clear shot
for the laser and, of course, the
bullet. Keep fresh batteries handy.
I’ve seen bad reads from failing
batteries as well.
While it’s yet another piece of
gear to acquire and carry, a laser
rangefi nder can literally be the dif-
ference between bringing home
your next trophy or having another
winter of “tag soup.” The days of
“Kentucky Windage” and “Ten-
nessee Elevation” are numbered.
Pony up the cash. You won’t be
sorry.
What’s your distance measur-
ing method? Email us at shoo-
tingthebreezebme@gmail.com.
We would love to hear from any
and all!
Dale Valade is a local country
gent with a deep love for hand-
loading, hunting and shooting.
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Free bus service
fantastic
To the Editor:
Wow! What a wonderful thing
it is that People Mover will be
offering up free rides in the val-
ley; I can’t think of another place
in the world and certainly not in
the country where the government
makes free transport available to
its citizens. I think it is fantas-
tic, and I will be taking advan-
tage of this extraordinary service
regularly.
Richie Colbeth
John Day
L
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Mountain Eagle, 195 N. Canyon Blvd., John Day, OR 97845; or fax to 541-575-1244.
Grant County’s Weekly Newspaper
Publisher............ ......................................Chris Rush, crush@eomediagroup.com
Editor & General Manager ...............Sean Hart, editor@bmeagle.com
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Blue Mountain Eagle
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