■ w
SATIRI») Y XI XRl'II I-I l!>03.
A FAI I'll Fl’I. SERVANT.
begging for Presidential favors, but
MEN OF BUTTER AND EGGS.
with a business exacting and profit
able enough to < ngage and repay llollan«.'« Irnui'r l-'vlk VV«-rr To«
Vlut-li for M|«nli'. II ihik I i «»
his elose attention. At home as in
II«»»«.
W ashington, he will la an honor
When Philip 11. «lelsiie«! th«> «pD'stioii
to himself, his state and the family
of eoerving with Hr«' uml swohl th«
i name to which he has added fresh
Dutvhnian who «till not like theSptiin*l>
1 honors.—Oregonian.
iii«piixiti«iii er tax«*. which t!i«'V them-
MUJ
A CENT FROM EVERYBODY.
Tiikvav Vli,iM**«bvr It V« «mill Mean n
ll«-m I Tribute, I uh««i*l»
to t iillect.
X tramp who lately sought anight*«
lodging at Dover, Ivv announced tliut
h«< was I k nt on collecting one penny
from every person on earth, lie had
already got .<* «'cuts.
This fantastic idea of a humorous nd-
venturer is not lucking in suggestive-
iicss. though it Isn’t nccissurily sug
gested that unv body should take up his
alleged job iu dead earnest.
In lb ■ Hist pk.ee. when Mr. Trampor
nuylsidy else gets Ids coiii-eollcetuig
task done he will find the need of milk
ing tirruiig«'i:i«*iits with the railroad
eombini* for u lot of large-sized freight
cal's, lie will have Mimething like S.SllU
tons of metal on hamt which won't
trans|sirt Itself.
And if h>' get* tir«'d of thinking of his
precious i iie-e.-nt pieces by weight lie
can think of them ly miles. Stood up
on edg«' and stretched away in long
lines, the coin would reach from New
York t > Clucago and back to Buffalo,
with a whole lot to sp ire. Thcr«'would
indeed lie 1.1*1 miles of hur«l cash in the
mtrruw, continuous rolls.
This, it sei ins. should be n lot of
moucy. So it is. X et no llock« feller,
(■oulcl. Astor or Vanderbilt would have
particular cause to envy its possessor.
The sum represent«<1 would be, in
rouml numbers, about $13,000,000 «Ince
it woultl eonaist «>f one cent each from
| nliout 1,5- .0l..i.« -i |K'rsotis.
As to the time that it will take to
collect this tribute from the earth at
. large, let mi on«' think it is a job fora
' w.ek, a month or a day.
si-lves did not «ole. th«’ ill.he of \l«;i
The mo>>t salient feiturc of the
coiinsi'leJ violent nu'usures, for in lib
short session of Congress, so far as
Alexander McDowell, clerk of the eji’H the rebels were only "tnen of Ina
the interests of the Pacific North House of representatives, has made ter." \eierlheirs* I:.' found tli.it til«'*«
men so fond of vows und hens eouh
west are concerned, has been the public an official compilation mace liold Ida veterans at buy. Anally over-
qy Tally Clerk Wakefield showing com«' them in th«' Held mill after s«
remarkable recognition secured by
the work done by the House «luring years leave poor Spain “a bniken
backed liger."
Representative M. A. Moody, of
the 57th Congress. It shows that
Indeed, in time of war country fol),
the Second Oregon District, and the longest day of the session last with baskets of eggs mid butter ex
the effective service he has lieen ed, with recesses, 141 hours, during cited no suspicion, even to alert senti
nets. Taking advantage of this fact.
enabled thereby to render his sec which S'.i rollealls were taken. The Sir Francis X ere deterinin«'«! t> recap
ture from the Spaniards the Zutphen
tion and the public interests gener number of bills ami res«lut:ons in sconces, or forts, by a stratagem. In
troduced in th«' House «luring the 15*J 1 he picked out some lusty mid limit-
ally. Thedeatn of Representative
two sessions of th-' Congress was some young soldiers and «tresseil most
Tongue, the illness of Senator
1S.42O, and reports were made on of them Tke the Celderlund egg wom
Mitchell ami the practical incapaci 2S10 bills and resolutions, Tim en and tli«' rest as liners. With bundle'
of vegetables. baskets of «'ggs and but
tation of senator Simon have com
Senate sent to the House 1G30 Sen ter. but als > with triggers anil pistol.-
bined to throw a great deal of work
ate bills ami resolutions.
The inside their clotlies, they were ferried
acres» th«' river by twos mi l threes.
on Mr. Moody, but he has shown
Hous«* disposed of 2413 oftlm meas They sat near th«' gat«' of th«' foil. be
his ability to take care of it and it
ures originating with it ami of 102(1 ing already, at the brink of «lay. ehat
doas not appear wherein the state’s
mid gcstii-ulating. ns if in some
of tin Senate bills and resolutions, ting
tremendous argument about th«' rise
.n'erests have suffered.
making a total of .">430 bills and or fall of market prices. Then, nceord-
Toe secret of Mr. Moody’« sue-1
resolutions acted on. Congress left in-r to agreement, Vere sent some cav
cess is in his character. He is a ’
alry forward, ns if approaching, and the
on its calendars 405 House ami 1 IS pretended country pe<>| I«' ran in
man nixjve boodle and bribes, petty
Senile bills ami r« solutions. Fif feigned terror towanl the fort. 'I he
conspiracies ami revenges, and the
teen of the members of the House gates were nt once thrown < |>en to re
ceive them. T I'.cy all streamed in. threw
rnle-or-ruin policy which hampers
died during the Congress, seven off their disguises mid ia a few min
so tnanv otherwise able public men.
resign“«! and Messrs. Rhea(Kv.)' utes were in po>.*>-ssion of th«' forts of
lie is. moreover, what is not to be
and llutier ( Mo.) were unseated, the town, where the gallant Sir Philip
Sidney afterwards 1 >st his life by be
dispised, a gentleman. His train
the latter twice.
ing more rash anil less shrewd than the
ing, habits ami tastes fit him for
veteran Vere. Harper’s Bazar.
the companionship «nd command
A report comes from Lakeview HELIG OUS MANIAS IN AMERICA.
for him the respect and favor ot
Our Short History Is Full of lixumpU-«
men of brains, character and influ that a head tax of 2 cents has been
of Mental EptdviulcH.
Turning now to the American, win
ence. Aild to these qualities the levied on sheep, ami the resultant
capacity for unremitting effort .and film! will bo employed to counter somewhat resembles the Hebrew, both I
in business ability anil religiousness, we
a sturdy sense of honor which for act the effect of th«* repeal of the find social suggestion working in him I
bids him to forget a promise or be scalp bounty law. The tax it is oil a larger and grander scale. The
in highly suggestible,anti the
tray a friend, and you have the se estimated, in Lake county will American
: bort history of his national « xistence is
make a sum of about $(>000. This full ot instinctive eases .if mente! epi
cret of Mi. Mood’« success.
It is a tyj>e of public man we sum will equip and put in the field demies. A few instances will, ¡lerltaps,
suffice for our purpose.
sadly lack, locally and nationally. ten good hunters, who will patrol
At the beginning of th«' present cen
There is too much factional combi toe range, destroying coyotes ami tury a mania of religious revival swept |
nation in the Republican party of incidentally assist sheepmen wher ever the continent of northern America,
and reached it.-» acme in the camp meet
Oregon. There has been too much ever they can render assistance. It ings of the “Kentucky revivals.” The
unreasoning hostility to useful men, is thought these men under proper ; first '.amp meeting in Kentucky was
held at Cabin Creek, and continued four
based on no other ground than tliut direction ami pro|>erly selected will days
and three nights. Th«'scene wa-i
destroy
more
"varmints
’
’
than
w?re
they refused to wear the Simon
aw ful beyond description Th.' preach
c liar or bow at the Mitchell shrine. destroyed under the bounty plan, ing. the praying, the singing, the shout
ing. the sobbing, the tits of convulsions
It was Mr. Moody's desire, as it and at no additional cost to range made of the camp a pandémonium,
men.
Cattle-raiser*
approve
the
wa« largely also the desire of Mr.
licligiomi suggestion soon alTeeted
Tongue, to stand on his own merits repeal of the bounty law. but the the idle crowd of spectators. an«l
acted with such vir.ilencc that those
and to support or ippose measures sheepmen feel chagrined.
who tried to escape were «-it her st ruck
an<l appointments according to his '
by convulsions on the way, or impcll«*d
I
judgment of theirclaim for consid- | The Ashland Town Talk has a tv return by some unknown. irrt s stible
]>ower. The contagion spread with
eration. This course succeeds in a gain passed into new hands. The great rapidity anil spared neither age
way. for both these men made first- present proprietor is A. U. Jacob, nor sex.
The camp meeting of Indian Creek,
class Representatives and their son. who has changed the name of Harrison
I
county, is especially iutcrest-
hold upon the people became J the paper to the Ashland Tribune. :ng and instructive for its bringing
s’rung. But it often fails in an It will be edited by M. F. Eggleston clearly to light the terrible power of
suggestion. The meeting vas at tirs;
other wav, because it arouses the i formerly connected with the paper. «.uict nr.d orderly. Th re v. as, of course,
wrath of the boss. Moody and
a good deal of praying, singing and 1
shout.t:g, l ut still nothing extraordi
Tongue have both at various times
Tra L. Campbell, the veteran nary occurred. Th«' snggist’oi, how
incurre«! the wrath of opposing fac Democratic lewspaper man. has ever, did not fail to come, and this time
tions. Steadfastness and courage sold his interest in the Eugene it was given by a child. A liov of 12
are not always appreciated at their i Guard to his brother, J R. Camp mounted a log. anti raising his voice, be
gan to preach. In a few moments h<
full value.
belt. Failing health is the reason became the center of the religion mob.
"Thus O s neers," he shouted, “shall you
Mr. Moody leaves the House with assigned for the change.
drop into lu ll, unices you forsake your
the warm friendship of many in
sins mid turn to the Lord!” At that
:
fluential public men and with the
The Chicago Weekly L.ter Ocean moment some one fell to the ground ill
convulsions,
und
soon
the
whole
meb
respect and confidence of the peo
: is the only weekly newspaper pub was struggling, wriggling, writhing
ple of Oregon.
Fortunately, the lished in Chicago in connection and “jerking.” In some «amp meet
close of his term does not find him with the great daily papers. It ings the ri Jigious mob took to dancing,
nr.d at last to I nrking I ! e «logs. Men.
a “has been’’ or a "lame duck,”
contains a judiciously selected women and children assumed the post i
summary ot the news of the nation ure of dogs, moving on all fours, grow
ing. snapping the teeth and barking.—
and world, the best stories, home, Boris Sidis. in Century.
.
farm, woman’s, and other special
COURTEOUS HINTS.
departments, ami fair, patriotic, They Arc as Forcible as Other Klnil«—A
Í J 1
able editorials, written from a Re
Case In Point.
Perhaps th« re is no greater strain j
publican viewpoint. It is by far
upon “I cghborJy feeling" than living
the best general newspaper ot the next door Io a poulOy yard whose in
Western States. The regular price mates are allowed to “run"— making
ground of th« adjacent flower
fo« t he Week ly I nter ()eean is -+!.(>(> ’ exercise
and vegetable gardens. A San Diego
ami for the Harney Valley Items young lady who was subject to ibis an
$1 5(>, but subscriptions will be re noyance politely ask««l her neighliors,
says Youth's Companion, to keep his
ceive«! at this office for the two pets at home. Sla askcl it several
papers in combination for on«- year times, ar. I still no attention was paid
to her grievance. Finally she hit up
for only $ 1.50.
chain
pj
013 STRONGER
p THAN ITS
¿WEAKEST
LINK
f NO' Fl AN
DIS STRONGER
ft THAN HIS
STOMACH
—..... w
DR PIERCES
GOLDEN
MEDICAL
DISCOVERY
MAKES WEAK
STOMACHS
STRONG
C3—O—£3-
ESTRAY.
Lost one two-year old cow with
calf. Brand, on ribs 0(), and 7 on
on«.* hip and 72 on the of her. I will
puy $5 reward for her recovery.
Fred Mosier.
Izee, Oregon.
Stomach ’» rouble. *
“I have been troubled with mv
stomach for the past four years,”
savs D. L. Beach, of Clover Nook
Farm, Greenfield. Mass. "A lew
l days ago 1 was induced to buy a
•six of Chamberlain’s Stomach and
j Liver Tablets. I have taken part
oftlu ni and feel a great deal better.”
If you have any trouble with your
stomach try a box of these Tablets.
You are certain to be pleased with
; the result. Price 25 cents. For
salj by H. M. Horton. Burns: Fred
Haines, Harney,
PRODIGAL
WITH
HIS
|
Th«» KI ik I Y ou lluvo Alwnyn Bought. un<! which has lioen
iu use t«>i* over BO vmil**, has born«« the slgimtnr«« of
nn«l linit bct'ii imulo under his por-
soiiiil Nitpcrv I h I uii since Its infiuicy.
Allow no one toileeelvo you In thin.
All t'ountei'feits, Imitation i iiik I •• .l<ist-:t'«-go<nl *’ ui'«> but
F.xp<-riiii«'iits (hut trltlo with mid emlunger tho health of
liiiiuit* und t'lilldi'eii— Experience ngulnst ExperiiuoiiU
What is CASTORIA
Cnstorlii I m ti lmrinlcss siihstllitt«« for Castor Oil, Pure-
gori«', lii'ops mi«l Sootbiiiff Hyrups. It I m Plcnsuiit. It
< oiitiiins neither Opiuiii, Morphine tu r otli«*r Nitrcotle
Niibstaiice. K m ug«» is its gimriiiitee. It «IcMlroy» Worms
limi ulla.vs l’«'V«'l'ishiiess. It cui'«'* Illnrrtui'ii uml Wlntl
Coli«'. It i ' c II cvvm T«'«'(hing Troubles, « iir«'s Constipation
and l-'lattilency. It nssinillates Ih«' l'orni. rcguiatCM the
Ntonmcli uml Bow« Is, giving healthy uml imttirul sleep.
Tli«' Chihlrvn'N Pamiceu Th«' Mother’N Frie’id.
|
>
CENUINE
■
CASTOR5A
ALWAYS
WEALTH.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Kus.tun S|»*'iiil«hrlfl Who s<|iiuii*l«'r« Mil
lions Faery Year.
I.«' Petit Sucrier line found a succes
sor in St. Petersburg. 11«' is Max 11.,
his ag«' is _‘2. his pocket money 2,000,-
000 rubles, mid tin source of his rev
i nne is ancestral trade. The s|M'ciid
form of ixtruvagane«' which he nus
made popular among th«' golden youth
who .'«i specilily molt their golden
plumage is tin beggars* r ip|ier. It i-
a Lumpiet of extieincs. any« the ) ul!
Mall tinzette, u j at'a« i ii:g of the tin1'
flower of the demi-monde mid the most
rugged «.nd raveuous la'ggurs who cun
be picked up in the streets «if St. Pe
tersburg. lie Intel« paid l.OOO rubles
to a well-known gambling estubl-sh-
meut for th«' exclusive use of their sa
hir.s on one particular night. He then
sallied oui into the st reets and returned
with hi« beggars' opera. Then cam«
tradesmen.
briugiug
th«'
richest
dishes; musieimis. waiters, singers.
the bands of Comus and u jury of 12
fair frudtie i. w ho were to decide whut
reveler hud been th«' wildest and wit
tiest iu the evening's revel. The men
diennts received gold ar.d the ladies
diamonds, ami the Christmas tree was
pluiidcre«! of its js-url m.'d ruby bios-
son'.«.
The beggars nn«l nymphs
hailed Max I f. ns one of the wonders of
the wxirhl, applauded will« I Kith hand*
and strewed palms 'in his returning
path. Me.iiiwhile. the family of this
notable bayur are taking rJarui mid
casting about vainly for u remedy. .X
gold cure has lic.-r. fouml for the dis-
cast» of drink, but w ho will give u cure
for the disease of gold .’
In Use For Over 30 Years.
I
;
j
J
i
WHiral Woman.
After th«' eld gent lemon «liud invitcl
th«' young one to be seut«sl the hitter
cough«'« I «ince or t w ice toch'ur his t Ivroat
an«l tlu'ii bluntly sugg«*t<xl t.liut he
wislnsl tj marry tho old gentleman's
laughter.
Th«' old gentleman didn't, wish lobe
too ready to give his consent, but he
admit!« <1 aftera few minntesof Utouglit
that he bad no objection*.
“That's just th«1 trouble," protested
th«' young m;.n. diseonsohitoly. “If
you'll «inly cp|vose it and onlcr me out
of the lions«' once or twits' olid buy u
bullilog I'd In«««' .-ome. show of getting
her,” Chien"«! Po*t.
Tempering II.
XVilcy- This is funny; a barls'r out
west advertises to gi'e chloroform it
de«ired.
Smiley—Nothing remarkable about
that nil the barbers give natural gas.
—To Date.
A (¡real llesd.
Visit«» But tin head of Mr. Bulger
ns pointed in this picture is a good deu!
more than life size.
Artist I painted it to suit Mr. Bul
ger; he feels that his hciul is that size.
—T«> Date.
A (.’iCMr C aav «
Mrs. Anlcn i)<> you know. |M*rsonal-
ly, doctor, that my husband is dead?
Dr. Pillbox Yes; I treated him.
Mrs. Xrden (with a sigh of relief)—
Then that settles it. There’s no further
room for doubt. Town Topics.
on i.n ingenious mellxxl of protecting
(au4c »nd Effect«
herself.
Wife (nt the piano) John, you'iv
She prepared grains of corn by tying
singing <lr« udfully to-nighL
Tiiere,
to them, with strong carpet thread, I you've skipped u bar!
small cards bearing the words: “Please
John Didn't skip any on the rouil
keep your chicken* nt home!" and dis i home.- Judge.
tributed «he grains «iliout her Hower
Iler Falling.
beds.
“How tedious it is playing whist with
Th«' chickens came to feast i.s usual,
u«'h a parlm-r :is that Mii-stiad.ilsiut!" (
and greedily swallowed lb«' corn, not
"X i'.s; 1 believe that girl would u*k
perceiving the tbr«'ii«l until the card i
the angel Gabriel ‘what’s trumps?*’*—
was against their jaws. Then tney
Detroit Free Pi ess.
could neither swallow th«' card nor rid
themselves of the swallowed «-orn.
Twenty or thirty of the marauders
ran home, bearing the polite rc«pie: t to
their culpniiie owner, who. struck with
th«' method of th«' hint, promptly cut
the threads and eoojM'd up the birds.
For Infants and Children.
This win forcible, but a delicate hint
upon a like offers«' was conveyed from
one aggrieved relative to auothir
where stronger measures would nave
been cut of place.
The sul'i’« ring victim of hens was
taken ill. end the perhaps nneonscious
offender slew his choicest birds ami
sent to the invalid. The invalid feast
ed thereon, ami sent back a message
of thanks to the effect that the fowl
was delicious, nr.d tasted of her vio Thl« «Ignature Is on evory box of the gonuin«.
lets!
Harney Valley Brewery
L. WOLDENBERG, SIL, Pro, rio'or.
The ««'rvices of a brewer of long years experience has been Re-
cttr«'<l ami the nredact of tins Brewery is of th» best grade in the ’
Iiilati«! Empire.
l’kice a trial or«ler ami yon will not be dinap-
poiiited.
BURNS,
_
—
—
The
Windsor
_
_
_
_
OREGON
The bar is supplied with none
but the very best brands of
Wines, Liquors and Carlionated
drinks, nml the Choicest Cigars.
Your patronage solicited.
Courteous treatment to nil.
Corner north of postoffice.
Bar
LEE CALDWELL
Proprietor.
IF YOU ARE A FARMER
And Itave One* Cent
Buy a postal card ami send to The New York
Tribune Farmer. New York City, for a free
specimen copy.
The Tribune Farmer is a National Illustra
ted Agricultural Weekly for farmers and
their families, and stands nt the head of the
agricultural press. The price is $ I 00 per
year, but if you like it you can secure it with
your own favorite local newspaper, The
ITEMS, at a bargain.
Both papers $1,50.
Semi money and order to The ITEMS.
CASTORIA
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Laxative Bromo-Quinine T»bieu
Uv r« curdy i hut l itre« it cold Iu one Utqy
The Southern Oregon State Normal School opens Wednesday,
Sept« tuber 10th. Full faculty ; improv«d building; exhaustive
cours«-» of study ; ea« h department filled by a specialist. Latin
and economics added for the benefit of those preparing to teach
in High Schools, but are optional. $200 in cash prizes for excel
lence in ortVn’-yand athletics. Expenses light; social conditions
ideal. Senu for catalogue.
B. F. MULKEY, President,
CLIP l*()UD I IIOMAS, Secretary