THE LAST LAUQH.
Consternation of th« Congregation
dom of tho Innooent*.
CARL
Th« Wit-
Adjoining an out-of-the-way, but
favorite (turnin' r retort, is a little
Chaptl in which religious service« are
held occasionally, as clergymen can
be obtained, during the pleasure
season.
A visiting divine consented to preach
one sabbath last summer, and, notice
being given, quite a congregation of
hotel guests and resident neighbors
as^ rnl'la I. In opening the services
the preacher suggested that, as the
chapt 1 was provided with no musical
instruineut, perhap- some one present
uould*start a hymn, in which the con
gregation could join. A brief pause
ensued, and then the Cungregi lion
was convulsed at hearing an old lidy
str.ke up, in a cracked voice,
“Believing we rejoice
To see the cuss removed.”
A* 0" o ie ‘j ined in,’ the old lady
did not proceed f «r with the hymn,
and an awkward contretemps seemed
imminent. Tin? clergyman was quick
witted, however, and turned the ludi-
crons ii cident to good account. He
xuielly arose and annosneed as his
trx’ the words, “Bi hexing we rejoice,”
from which he preache«! an excellent
sermon, one ihit under the peculiar
circumstances, made a deep impression.
The old lady will probably nevei
know why she caused such a sensa
tion. Shelivtdin the neighborhood,
and b< ing accustom« d to the pronun
ciation ‘‘ cubs ” for “curse,” sang it that
wav.
Homespun people often run counter
to some of the common customs, or
tinn-worn prejudices of society, ahd
are laughed at. Hometimes they arc
right, and society is wrong.
When new and valuable ideas are
evolvt d in the progress of the world’s
thought, those who first believe in
them are often subj ected to ridicule.
But it is those who believe who have
oevapion to rej »ice.
Mr. A. \Va> is a prominent farmer
at N-tvasino, N. Y., who was prostrated
with kidney disease, and reached a
point whrrfe “the doctor said he h »d
done all he could.” Feb. 23d, 1883, he
writes, “As a last resort 1 organ the
u»-e of Warner’s stfe cure, and today
I am h de. hearty anti li ppy.” Octo
ber 13ih, 1887, he again writes, “If it
had not b»eu for your wonderful dis
covery of W i rm r’s safe cure, I should
have been in n y grave to-day. 1 am,
to all appear mces as tree from auj
trouble of the kidneys as any man
living. I’he doctor who doctored m
and said I must die, has since diet
with Bright’s disease 1”
The honert old farmer was doubtl s
derided and laughed at by the medica
mm, and m -ny of his friends, whet
he announced his d< termination ft
try Wtimer’ b s fe cure, a proprietor
medicu e; but he is »live and well t<-
dav, while the physician who laughet
at h m is dead.
The wise ol I farmer has the lat
lau_h!
OF
GENERAL
INTEhEST.
-Hie editor of the Knoxville 7?e-
■ tlhictin advertises for the photograph
if a dollar.
—A heal th y-look ing tramp at Bangor
asked a woman if she would give him n
dinner. She told him it wasn’t hei
I nner hour, but she could give him n
substantial lunch. “I don’t want a
lunch, I want a dinner,” replied tin
high-toned beggar, and he walked ofl.
—The wild-eyed, long-haired, som
brero-topped men so numerous in Oma
ha nowadays are not cowboys no?
army scouts nor Indian-slayers—unless
the lowly red-man purchases their
wares.’ They are patent-medicine fa
kers from the lndianless East. — Omaha
Chronicle.
—A little Burlington girl who dis
likes arithmetic was asked to give the
sum of nine cows and seven cows.
“Fifteen,” she replied. When in
formed that this was wrong, she petu
lantly exclaimed: “It doesn’t make
any difference if we only get the milk.”
—Burlington Free Press.
—Mrs. Elisha Merritt, of Gainesville.
Ga., who is now over eighty years old,
has an iron pot which has been in the
possession of the family for many gen
erations. It was brought from Hol
land long before the revolutionary war,
and had been in the family for several
generations before that. Fami'.v tra
dition makes its age at least three hun
dred years.
LATE
SHIPWRECKS
HORN-
OFF
CAPE
Ex’ract of letter from D ivid Jamec
(l ite matter) < f the bark Colorado o'
Glasgow—‘ Having 1< st our ship or
St ten island, on the 5th of July last
and having saved neither effects nor
provisions, we were then compelled to
travel over tl e island for ten days, sub-
si-ting on no'hmg but shellfish and sea
weed. On the 19 h of July we cam«
across another shipwrecked party of
seventeen, the surviving part of the
cr» w of th«« British ship Dunskeig m
Glasgow, fourteen having perished
thr ugh exposure. Now, the ship war
lo.-t » n the 23 i oi June, and a lot ol
the cargo, • ormi-ting < f EPPS’ COCOA
whs washed s*
j out of the Wreck.
There w s nothing saved except th«
cocoa, an«! w»-, i umbering twenty-five
men, w< re k«q t alive on it up to th«
20th <»f August, w en we were rescued
♦ y the
amrr Mercurio of Bu-«fio-
Avr»-r, ;-n<l 1 >nd«d there on the 13th
oi 8-ptember.
“T «» much | rai«e cannot be given
to this cocoi for the preserv«xl stab
that it w is in, after b* ing in the bot
t«»ni of the s- a, in the wreck of the
D in k*iv. for m fortnight, and then
wwahe-' a?lior»-, and lying on the b°«ch
a d na-k-oi Kta*«n irlsnd for al>>u*
six week-, subject to the expo-are o<
ibe - verrst w* atlier on the face of th«
globe.
“ l*he i-land is situated in a region
of p r|«fu«d ice, snow and »terms, and
af«- r >dl this t*at it was as fresh and
dry as if in the works.
“A- wc h««l a
stock of it there
we U imh | it in a liqui I rlste for drink,
an I also m ule i< in * thick stat*-, like
p > ridge, nod w»- mi -•> bak'd it on th-
tire, «»hi h ma e a pl «»«ltd b»ead, «»•
ke»e u« Miivr and warm ou tin« barren
island.”
DUNDER’S
PLAINT.
Detroit*« Teutonic Philosopher Sigh« For
the Old Oerinnu CUMtoma,
“Sergeant,” said Carl Dunder as he
tip-toed into the itation-bouse yester
day, “I pclief I like to go pack to
Shermany again.”
“What’s the matter now?”
“Vhell, every thing vhas toe fast und
too strange oafer here for some old
man’s tike me. Dot Yankee vhas h
queer feller—awful queer.
Some
man’s conic into my place eafery day
und yell out:
‘Hi! dure! Two peers! S«)t ’em
oop, queek! Ta! ta! Good-pye, Dun-
der!’
“Und he throws down der money,
gulps down dot peer, und vhas off be
fore I can say Shack Robinson. It
doan’ be like dot in Shermany. I goes
mit a place at ashlow walk, und 1 goes
in py der door und shpeaks with eafery
pody. I ask him aboudt his wife und
children, his horse und cow und pig,
his health und his garden, und by un«l
by I sat down und say to dot barkeeper:
•i ‘Hans, may po you haf some peel*?’
4.
•Yes, He it Dunder.’
• <
•May pe it vhas goot peer?’
‘Yes, he vhas.’
><
‘Vhell I try a glass.’
lie goes py der cellar und prings
him oop, und I take a seat und play
some slieckers, und I drink a leedle und
wait, und drink some more und wait,
und by uml by it vhas twelve o’clock
und 1 goes home to dinner.”
“That’s too slow, Mr. Dunder.”
“Dot’s der vhay all you Yankees say.
How long you pelief I vhas getting
married, Sergeant?”
“Oh, perhaps three weeks, and that’s
giving you seven days over the rest oi
us.”
•
“Tree weeks! Vhy, it vhas ten y’ars.
und dot vhas too soon! If I wait one
nwre y’ar I doan’ marry Mrs. Dunder
at all! It vhas like dis: It takes von
y’ar to be introduced to dot girl. It
takes von y’ar more before you like to
call her py her first name. May pe,
after fife y’ar I take her hand und say
dot I like to be married, but it vhas fife
y’ar more pefore she consents und vhas
all ready.”
“Too slow for me.”
“Und you vhas in sooch a hurry dot
you dean* lif oudt half your days. Dot
prings me down to peesness. Shake
has run avhay some more.”
“No!”
“He goes last night We haf some
fuss again. Shake vhas too much like
a Yankee, und I talk und talk to him
und it vhas no goot. Do you know
Shako feels so pig dot ho doan’ like to
haf my clothes cut oafer for him any
more!”
“Is that possible!”
“Dot vhas possible. In der oldt
country wooden shoes vhas all right
for mo. In dis country Shako likes
some fine gaiters, und ho shines ’em
oop mit placking. Some oldt bat vhas
goot enough for me, but Shake he must
go oudt und puy von for tree dollar.
I haf some pants mit only two holes
in ’em, but Shako won’t put ’em
on. Vhen I vhas a poy I doan’
inf ten cents a month. Shake comes
to me almost eafery day und says he
ikes half a dollar or seex shillings,
in der oldt country I play sheckers oi
pitch horseshoes. My Shake learns
iow to play poker und pilliavds und
lots of odder games, und it makes your
hair shtand oop to hear him talk of
base-pall and cricket. He calls me old
noss-pack, und sooeb, und yesterday I
make up my mind to put a shtop to
aim.”
“Took him down cellar, ch?”
“Dot’s vhas I like to do. I get dot
■»trap nnd tell him to come along, but
he says I vhas too fresh, und he vhas
gone pefore I get him, sergeant.”
“Well?”
“May pe I vhas wrong. May pe it
vhas deeferent in dis country. May pe
lot poy of today vhas not like der oldt
•oys. I doan’ shleep any all night
md der oldt womans she vhas crying
«11 der time for Shake, and so, if you
*ee him, you may tell him to come
»ack. Tell him dot we try again. If
»e doan’ say I vhas too fresh, und.if he
' loan’ tell me to put oop my dukes, und
f he doan’ keep talking aboudt carom
«hots, hot grounders. Shackpots nnd
«> on I try to make it all right und get
• long. Shnst tell him dot, sergeant,
ind you may shently hint to him dot if
ie doan’ do petter you pelief he vhill
>e hung for murder. Good-pye, ser
geant—may pe I vhas too oldt for dis
country.”— Detroit Free Press.
A Bit of Vandalism.
MARGARET
COLEMAN.
Among Mr. Sumner's servants the
one whom he most highly valued was
an elderly* Irish woman, Margaret
Coleman. She was his housekeeper
for the last two years, und now be
comes a historic character.
Prior to eutering Mr. Sumner’s serv
ice Margaret was of the household of
William II. Seward. When, on thr
14th of April, 1865, the night of the as
sassination of President Lincoln, an at
tempt was made on the life of Mr.
Seward, she was one of those in charge
of his room, he then being confined to
his bed from the effects of a fall from
his carriage. Payne, the would-be as
sassin, was met by Mr. Frederick Sew
ard at the head of the stairs. After
wounding him severely and leaving
him seemingly dead, Payne passed
over his body to reach the room of his
father. The noise had notified Mar
garet, who was in her own room on the
story above, of Payne’s approach, and
his object. As Payne entered the sick
room, Robinson, the male nurse, then
there, confronted him. Payne struck
Robinson to the ground with his knife,
nnd then sprang nt the Secretary.
Mr. Seward was in a half-sitting
posture, leaning his back against
a sick-chiiir placed in the bed for
his support. Realizing Payne’s object,
he pulled the bed clothing over his head
for his protection. Payne struck him
a number^of timcfy One blow was so
well aimed that it passed through the
bed clothes, through his cheek into his
neck on the right side, and another on
the left side cut his neck. .
Meantime all this was passing quicker
than it can be told. Margaret had
sprung upon him from behind, and
Robinson had gathered himself up
sufficiently to confront the assassin.
Major A. H. Seward, Miss Fannie
Seward and some of the servants of the
household were now entering the room,
and Payne fought his way out from
among them. Margaret was struck in
he face, apparently by Payne’s
clenched fist, so that her face was
painful and discolored for some time,
and she was buried against the door
jamb with such force as to break her
collar-bone. Major Seward was slightly
cut in several places. But none of the
women except Margaret was in any
injured. Payne, after cutting his way
out. mounted his horse and escaped.
Meantime Mr. Seward had apparently
disappeared, and for a moment
as
thought
that
tho
as-
had thrown him out of
the window. He had, however, rolled
himself in his bed clothing, and fallen
between the bed and tho wall, but was
so suspended by the clothing that he
had not reached the floor, Margaret
pulled him up, unrolled him, now
nearly smothered in the blankets and
the blood, and assisted in doing what
was necessary before she found out
how much she herself was injured. She
recovered, however, sufficiently to con
tinue to act as head nurse to Secretary
Seward, to Mr. Frederick Seward and
Mrs. Seward, who never recovered
from the shock of that night, and who
died in Margaret’s arms, and, finally,
as nurse to Miss Fannie Seward- She
saw her pass away within the year.
When Mr. Fish succeeded Mr. Sewarc.
as Secretary of State, he took certain
of the Seward servants, who agreed to
stay with him until Mrs. Fish brought
her own establishment to Washington.
So Margaret remained witA the new
Secretary of State for six months, and
then went to Mr. Summer, with whom
she remained until his death. Tho ar
rangement was particularly agre( able
to the ladies whom Mr. Sumner re
ceived, as most of them had been ac
customed to her friendly ministrations
when visiting at the Seward and Fish
houses. — Cosmopolitan.
A Sample of Turkish Justice.
You have often read wondrous and
lying tales of justice administered with
unerring judgment in Turkey. Hero is a
true story of Turkish justice: A drovei
complained to a cross-legged magnate
at Rodosto that he had been robbed oi
two oxen. Three Turkish gendarmes
were sent to recover the property, and
soon discovered two peasants going ofi
with tw«> ox«»n. One of the men was
shot dead. The other escaped, and th«
policemen hastily buried their man and
came hack in triumph witn two oxen.
But the man said those oxen had noi
been stolen from him, an«l it was plain
that the peasant had been shot for driv
ing his own cattle. The situation was
uncomfortable but Turkish diplomacy
fixed things. Another man was found
to swear be had been robbed of the two
oxen, a nd they were turned over to
Mm, which relieved the gendarmes
frsm guilt. They did not go unpun
ished, however, for they had buried the
<tea«l peasant without first washing the
body, which in Turkey is a crime ex
cept in case of a soldier killed in battle.
For that negligence they were impris
oned.— Levant Herald.
I sat alongside of a lady in a street
•ar the other day on my way down
•own. She was elegant as to attire and
intelligent as to visage. She was read
ing, or rather looking over, one of the
leading magazines, an«l ever and anon,
when it became necessary to move for
ward a page, she used her index finger
—her hand was incased in a glove—for
a paper-cutter. Shades of Tom Ditaiint
what a mess she made of it Ripped,
torn, ragged and jagged, by the time
we were half way down town that poor
magazine was a sight to behold, True«
—Chnllv—“Did you hear about that
you're right, it whs her magi azine, but
my feelings happened to belong to me. hank smashup yesterlay, Gawgef
Cashier ran away with the funds.”
—Book Maker.
Gawge—“Common occurrence; I don’t
—“This five-dollar gold piece you pay any attention to such reports any
gave me this mornin’ is counterfeit,’’ mare.” “I tell you, if a man has goi
.aid a vagabond to Jarno, T. Brady, any surplus cash nowadays it stands
the late witty lawyer. “I didn't give him in hand to put it where he knows
you a gold piece; I gave you a quarter, it will stay. By the way*, can yon let
my good fellow.”
••Yon meant to me have a ten this morning?” “Really,
give me a quarter, but you gave me dear boy. you offer me such .excellent
this by mistake.'' "Oil! well, then advice about putting monpy where 1
you may keep it for your honesty!” know it will stay that I am almost
.aid the cau «tic wit.— N. Y. Ledger.
sorry I have no surplus funds.”—
Binghamton Republican.
—B-hlnrt the Scene».—
Her appetfte is d.lleats:
Sb' eaa noi aai Uy da,;
But M. bar In the pantry
Wbanber beau baa »on« away.
— ttoeton Conner.
—Change is R at.— Beggar’s Wife—
"August, why are yon taking off
your wooden leg?”—Beggar—"Darl
ing. I am only going to strap It on the
other foot; one gets tired of bopping
about »11 day long on the »ame leg.”—
humoristische Blatter.
—
people claim that a fellow
4m*«n’t get any re«t by goinx on an
.•xcuraion. aa he generally work« ha«<1
a week b- fore to get ready and the i
p its in the hardest day ef all when he
oea—bat this is not so; an evenrwion
•nelly makes him sick ab*M for a
week after he gets back and that is
th« time h« get« his r«sL — Ba beta BelL
PRACTICAL CAUTIONS.
How Thia Brave Irishwoman Saved fiacre- ; an Osno. of Pr.v.otlou From th. Insur-
suce Compaoi..
Utry Seward*« Life.
Every year million, of dollar»’ worUi
of the material resource» of the country
are mvout away Ly lire. This loss is an
absolute one. It oau not laj replaced
uor repaired. Tho individual owner
doe* not feel this if adequately in»ur*d,
but, nevertheless, with every fir» the
country at larjfe is poorer by the amount
of the loss.
It is alarming to noto that in spito of
our continually Improving facilities for
fighting fire, and the increasing num
ber* of fire-proof b lildings, the gross
losses throughout the country grow
steadily greater year by year. Below
is an accurate tabulated statement of
the country’s yearly loss by tire, which
is not pleasant reading:
1878...... ___ 9 «M.IH.iW118*1....... ......HOO. 14»,000
187»...... .. T7,7dS,00 > 1H8*...... ...... 110,000,010
1*».. .. ...... 74.HI-1.OÜO 18.-O..... ...... 109.848.000
18S1...... ...... 81,‘3S3.000 1886...... ...... KM,RM,(MAJ
18ftt...... ...... 84,505,110^
A. P. Foss saw a Uva chicken floating'
and struggling In the canal at Suncook,
W. H., and pulled it out. Attached to’lt« 1
leg was a pt kerel weighing over two
Cunda, which had grabbed tho chicken’«
( in such a way that it *,ouid not let go
READ 1HK DEATH ROLL
Which the bill« o' mortality of any large oliy
may be fitly designated, and you v\ 111 Hud that
reoal and veaical Oialadiea, that 1« to say.
those that atTaet th« kidneys or bladder, have
a remarkable prominence-w« had almoat
sa.ii y; epondai’euee. Blight’s 4 Hwarie and
diabetes in the chronic stage «ue rarely
cured, and gravel, catarr« nt the blndder
“cd enu>eau, «lay many.
Yet at the
outs t. wheu the trouble merely amounts to
taactivltv ot the organs involved, tho dauger
lliAV be
lu. ,111
_ _ 1 . tonic
.
I •
may
nil titled by that pieatMuit. ._ remd
aud diurvtio Htmtetter*» Hto uaoh Bitters, wuleb
ii*iparu th-» requisiie &■> ouut ot Lona to tho
organa, without ovor-excitiug them, and the
ua ot which i< convenient, and involve« no >
elabora»c preparation. Dvspep ia, a usual cou-
° <u,teu,l of ronal comptaii.ts, and debility
which they inva itiblj p oduce. are remedied
by it. Ho also are constipation, malaiial, rheu
matlc and nervous ailments.
The color of the jeliy is spoiled by being
boiled too long.
OVrR-WOaKKD WOMEN.
For “worn-out,” “run down,” debilitated
school teachers, milliner*, seani>trcHse^,
housekeepers and over worked women
gp1 erally, Dr. Pi rce’s Favorite Prescrip
tion is the best of all restorative tonics, it
is not a “Cure-all,” but admirably tulfillsa
singleness of purpose, being a most, potent
Sueci c for ell those Chronic Weaknesses
and Di eases peculiar to women. It is a
powerful, general as well as uterine, tonic
Hivi nervine, and imparts vigor and
st eng^h to the whole system. It promptly
cures weakness of stomach, indigestion,
bloating, weak back, nervous prostration,
debility and sleepl ssne«« in either sex
Favorite Prescription i- sold by druggists
\inder our positive guarantee. See wrap
per around « ottle. Prive tel.OO a bot
HT» PHOTO.
çUU. WÉ/G
The venerable bene
factor of mankind,
intent upon hi« good
works, is known as
wu see him here.
Hi« fumilLu* face and
form bava become a trade mark, and the
good he has done is illustrated in the follow
ing manelona instauco: Jun. 17, 1883,
George C. Ogoud & Co., druggists, ixiwetl,
Mass., wrote: “Mr. Lewis Dennis, No. 136
Moody st., desires lo recommend St. Jacoba
Oil to any afflicted with rheumatism, and
desire«* e^jeciully to suy that Orrin Robinson,
of Grantville, Mass., a boy of 12 years, came
to hi« house ie tha suitunnr of iddi walking
upon crutches, his left leg having been bent
at the knee for over two months und could
not be bent buck. Ho could not walk upon
it. Mr. Dennis had some St. Jacobs Oil in
the house ai.d gave it to him to rub 01 l .Ids
knee. In six days ho had no use for bis
crutches and went homo well without them,
and lie has l>een well sino»St. Jacobs Oi! cured
him.” In July. 1887, inquiry was made of the
Messrs. Osgood to ascertain the condition of
the little cripple, which brought the follow
ing resi»onse : “Lowell, Mass., July &, 18«7.—
The poor cripple on crutches, Orrin Robin
son, cured l»y St. Jacobs oil in 18H1, bus re
mained cured. The young man has lu'en
and is now at work every day at manual
labor. Dr. George 0. Osgood, M. D.” No
other remedy cun make the sumo allowing.
PURE
g?PRICE’s
CREAM
Its superi tircvceVence proveíala railHonv nf nntnre Lit
more than «que ter <>f «ceutuiy. I« 1« «.«*<1 by ..«
U nite J states • io vernqj ent. ind. >r»ed by t he bead * <.. f < he
Gr -»t Univerdtie* avtUo 8troniiest. Purest and
HetIthful. Dr. Price’s «>>« only Bakiug Powder hat
does not contain Ammoni» LiiuO OX Aluill. bold ouly
inCaua.
Tl ICE BAKING POWDER CO..
CHIC«00
WFW YOKK.
sr. LOUIS.
U nitabian religious Htrr»»ture seut free on applies
don to Mix E. F. Davison. P.O. Drawer 520, PcrtkuidO
Washington oorrempondentaadu. Mitw M DeVoe, Beattie
Wakelee’s Squirrel and Gopher Extermi
nator Try it, and prove the best, is lhe
cheapes . Wakelee & Co., San Francisco.
tle, or wix bottle« for N3.OO.
A large treatise on Disease« of Women,
profusely din trated with colored plates
and numerous woodcuts, sent for ten
cents in stamps.
Address W orld ’ s D ispensary M hihgaj .
A ssociation fi 3 Alain St., Buffalo, N. Y.
CIHE8
M Fever - sores,” Scaly or llougls
Skin, in short, all diseases caused by bad
blood are oonquored by this powerful, puri
fying. and Invigorating luedicino. Great
Eating Ulcer« rapidly heal under Its be
nign inBuonoo. Especially Ims it mamfested
its potency in curing ’Fetter» Bose K iim I i ,
Put very little lard in yourMbread if you
wish it to be white.
Boil«, Carbunclcfi, Sore Eye«, Scroi-
nlou« Sore« and Swelling«, lilp-
ioint
ni«oa«e, White
Swelling«.
Goitre, or Thick Neck, and Enlarged
Gland«.
Bond ten cents in stamps for a
CHRONIC C«UG48 AND CnLD8.
All disease« of the Throat, and Lnngs can be
cure 1 by the use of Meott e Emulsion, ok it
contains the healing virtues of Cod Liver Oil
and Hypophosphites in thei fullest form. Is a
beautiful creamy Emulsion, palatable an milk,
easily dige-ted. and can lx* taken hy the most
delicate.
Mease read: “I oonatder Scott’s
Emulsion the remedy par-excellence in Tuber
culous nd Strumous Affections, to say nothing
of ordinary colds and throat trouble«.’’ -W. R. 8.
C onnell . M. I)., Manchester. O.
A snpertor remedy for Concha. Cold*.
Incipient t'oiinuniption, and
Throat .ad l.img Trvublea.
all
Sold by all Druggist, for SO Cents.
—Fnetlfi (to patent medicine mann-
f ictnrer)—"How is your great 'cure-
all' remedy taking, old nsanf” Manu
facturer — "Immensely.
I’ve made
enough ont of it in the last three
months to warrant a trip to Europe."
Friend—"Going for pleasure. I sup
pose." Manufacturer—"No. I'm g<e
ing for my health.”— Drake'. Travel
er. Mngaiine.
—A Hartford (Conn.) man sent hi,
boy into the country equipped with a
wiKxichtick trap end other appliance-
for enjoying bis vacation, and told him
to have a good time and be sure to g-
to church on Sunday*. The first lettei
he received from the boy said: "Hear
papa, rve caught a woodchuck. It wa- min» firmly believed that Th< baw or
Uaetrown^iB.
F. M. M c C ully .
Soft butter the size of an egg weigh
one ounce.
The Van Monciscar
DISPENSARY.
Truusucts a Gtmeral Bank 11X B ub I dcss .
AOOOUNTH kept HibjHot u> chœk
8FLU* KXUHANGK o.) Hau F tsiw I m » anri New York.
College and S.ientiflc Courues, Normal MAKER OoLLEITHONH '»• favorablw terms.
D«LAHHMUTT
*»•». B MAKKLB.JB.,
Course, College Preparatory Courae, Busi VAN fJ Pittai.
-nt
Vlœ PswsèdsoL
ness C< urs*-, Conservatory of Music, Mod
T) F HHKRMAN (lasMur
ern L nguages, Arts, Board ng Depart
ment. hip rlnfl; Term hegiuN .11 nr ch
6.000.000 people use
7, IM k M. Bas two good bui dings. Twelve
Teache.g. Library and apparatus. For
Catalogue or admission, address: A. J.
A ndkh .- on , President, Walla Walla, W.T.
* O.M.FERRY&CO.
Eiver, or “ 111liousiicMM.”
In many
east’s only part of these symptoms are cxp<‘-
rlenced. As a remedy for all such enfiea,
Dr. Pierce’« Golden Nlcdicul IH h -
covory In unsurpaHscd.
Eor Weak
laiug«. Spitting of
Blood, Shortne«« of iBrcnth, liron-
chlti«, Aalhnin. Ncvcrc Emigh«, und
kindnsl affections, it is an efflefi nt retw dv.
S old by D ruggists , at $1.00, or SIX
BOTTLES for $6.00.
Send ten cents in stamps for Dr. Pierce'S
book on Conaumplion. Address,
World'« Dl«peti8ary Medical Asso-
clation, 0(k3 Main Htrf'ot, B uffalo , N. Y.
j $500 REWARD
is offered by the proprietors
of Dr. Sago’s Catarrh Remedy
lor a case of catarrh which
they cannot euro. If you
have a discharge from tho
nose, offensive or otherwise, partial J obs of
sinell, faste, or hearing, wonk eyes, dull patn
or nressuro in head, you have Catarrh. I hou-
iands of cases terminât« in consumption.
I)r. Hago’s C atarrh H emedy cures the worst
p
K
<• f
/y
cases of Catnrrh, ‘•Cold in the Head,”
and Catarrhal NIcadaehe. f»0 cents.
FLOODS
■ EHM R. it LANDS, Four million acres,
sultablo for Oranges, Lemons, Olives, I’iro-apples,
danai him , St raw Lorries and eaply v< getablus. iut
tale on long oro<J It. « 1.2S to «8.00 por aere.
OThe
ar« admated Co be the
DM FERRY SCO 8
IIla»tr*ted, DewH«.
U». -ad
To tho Editor : —
MeaHO inform your readers that I have a pos
itive remedy for the above named diweafie. By
it* timely use thousands of hopeleas ciums have
b- en permanently cured. I «hall be Klrnl to
bend two boul«« of my remedy kkeb to any of
yoer ntaders who have ooneiuiiptlon if they will
eend me their FJxpreaa end P. Q. addrcHH.
RcimeotfuHy,
8EED
ANNUAL
Forisea
will t>e mailod
applicants, and
to last aeneon's
cUMtomffl-a with
out ordering it.
RKK TO ALL
A. SLOQUM. M. C.. 181 Narl St. New Tors
Best, easiest to use and cheapest. Plso’a
Remedy for Catarrh. By druggists. 60c
Pierce’s
Onr New Rtsre» wlitoh we now occupy,
liaa atxrat 3 aer«« of Floor Ipiur.
BUYER!« OUIDV. (■
tsaued Kept, and March»
each year. «• 361 pa^rrii,
x 111 i Inches,with over
3,BOO illustration« — a
whole Picture Gallery
GIVES Wholesale Price«
divert tn eonmnnrri on all goods for
personal or family use. Tells how to
order, and gives exact cost of every
thing you use, eat» drink, wear, or
have fnn with. These INVALUABLE
HOOKS contain Information gleaned
from the markets of the world. A
copy «ent FREii upon receipt oi
10 cts. to defray expense of mailing.
Largest Seedsmen
in the world.
0ON9UMPT3ON BURELT CURED
No trouble to swallow Dr.
Pelle a.
Invaluable to nN.
Every [nram owing
Garden, F leldor Flower
EEDSrti“”^
O. M. FE R R Y ACO.,Detroit,Mloh.
MONTGOMERY WARD &. CO.
111-114 Michigan Avenue. Chicago, HL
SELBY SMELTING AND LEAD CO.,
Ten common-sized eggs weigh a pound.
Ban Francisco,
PEOPLE’S DINPEIVNARY
For
<> oii |(I im .
ÄNtlims,
onci
Threat l>lnorder«* use "Brown's
—A*r>-
Bromhial Troches.”
T ry Q rkmea for breakfasL
Camelline Improves and preserves the oomplexlon.
Acme Electric Belt Agency
SHOTGUN_CARTR!DGES
\W”
171 Foarth St., bet. Morrison and Yamhill,
Portland, Oregon.
BUILL LAMBBRSON, Oen’l Agent
ADVICE AND MEDICINE SI.OO.
7 Mtark Mt- Portland. Or.
Tra/vrRnr’^
SKIN & SCALP
CLEANSE0
PURIFIED
ano BEAUTIFIED
BY
'Q uticura .
rR CLEANRING. PURIFYING AND
beautifying the skin of children and infante
and < unng torturing, disfiguring, itching, scaly
and pimply fii**-ases of the skin, sralp and
blood, with loan of hair, from infancy to old age,
the CvTlcvRA R kmkdikh are infallible.
CVTICUJtA, the great 8KIN CURX, and Cm
CURA rOAP an exquisite Hkln Beantifler, pre-
pared from it, externally, and C uticura H r
*>LVFNT. the new Blood Purifier, internally,
invariably sneoeed when all other remedies
and »lie beet nhysirlans fail.
C uticura K kmkdimi areaheolntely pure and
th« only infallible skin beaut!fiers and blood
purifiers, free from poisonous ingredient«.
Hold everywhere. Price.CuTict’RA.fiOc.: S oap
16c.: R boolvxnt .I1. Prepared hy the PoTTUt
D rug and C rbmical C o .. B oston . M am .
S«r«*end for "How to Cure Skin Dbwaees.’’
D I DV!QSk*n fi"'1 8c*ip preserved and Wauti
DADI 0 fled by CUTtrUNA MXDfCAT»T> «OAF
I WAM
CURED
•r
C atarrh
MM-»'; hy
OÍDOlnnatí
B’g n bMgiven univer-
■si satisfaction In th«
cure of Oonorrha»« and
Gleet. J prescribe It and
feel safe In recommend
ing It to all sufferer«.
A. J. STONER. N.D m
Dscsfur, III.
PRICE Bl.00. .
Sold by Druggists.
use Agent 1 Men hunt only
W8'»»r<i is every to-rn fr.>
OFFER no 173
FRFT!—To M brciiants O wt . v : A
eleKantallver-pla'ed Water Pitchor, frosted
and richly c rved : height. 13 'nch-s. Ad
dreaa at once, B. W. 1 ANRII.L & Co., 66
Slate Street. Chicago.
QTFINWÀY HRAKICH A MAcas.
w I Ella ff A I » Gabler. Roenlsh l filino«; Bar
for C.Urrh I. th. ^8
ÚMt to r», «U.'l <
CATARRH
PENNYROYAL PILLS
Sold by rlmwirt* or M«nt hy mail.
lOo. R. T. Haseltine, Warran, Pa.
"CHICHESTER’S ENGLISH.••
Tho Original nnd Only Genuine.
ARRH
CATA R R H
(rtsrnp.) » a» P>r parucnlar.
■•Id by
■T
CREAM BALI.
TEOOSÂND8
I.IFE.’*
IndIgestlon, Dynpepsin, and Torpid
For e'pedlting legislative business, Ed
iOBl'LuAND. OB.
mund L Pitts, the President of the New
Young, mid lie-aged and
Young.
York State Senate, stands almost without
>ld.
"
slngl« or m»nTi»d nier
single
Sir
"“ rho suffer with
a peer. Such a place as he holds is a most
------- MANHOOD
Verroua Debility. Hpenn»
trying • ne and requires great powers of
torrhea. Heuiinal Lowe»
endurai ce. One of Mr. Pitta’ ablest sup
Failing Mem
or* Weak
ok oi
porters will be seen in his letter given
Energy, all
an<*
• elaw:
Hkln bteeaam, Hrpbillh
S tatk of N kw Y ork , S rnatb C hamber ,
Eruption«. Hair Falling
Bone
Pains,
8
welling
A lhasy , March |i, 1H8«.
Wore Throat, Ulcers, K
I have used Allcock'a Porous Plasters in
feota of Mercury, Kidne>
my tarn ly fur the p<»st five a ears, and can
and Bladder Trouble
tru hfn Ij say they are a valuaMe remedy Weak Baer, Korn ng Urine. Gonorrhea, Gleet Btriot
h ’d eff ct great cures.
I would not l>e are prompt relief and cure for life.
HAxea Con.alt t'oafldratlally
without them. I have in several instan- es Bath
OFFTOH—18« A 184 THIRD HT
given some to friends suffering with weak
and Ian e barks, and they have invariably The Oregon National Bank,
afforded certain and speedy relief. They
OF PORTLANII».
cannot l<e too highly commended.
(Bucoessorsto MetroixJItau faringi Mank I
E dmund L. P itts .
CAFIT a LPAID in .
filOO/XX)
Jay Gould's income is f 1,000 an hour.
IS THE
If jrci feel dull, drowsy, debilitated, have
sallow color of skin, or yellowish-brown snots
on face or body, frequent headache or <II zza -
netw, bad taste in mouth, internal heat or
ohills, alternating with hot flushes, low spirits
and gloomy forebodings, irngulnr appetite,
nnd coated tongue, you are suffering from
One pint of coffee A sogar wei hs twelve
ounces.
WHITMAN COLLEGE.
BLOOD
Golden Nledlcal Discovery,and good
digoNtlon. a fair «kin, buoyant *pir-
its, aud vital strength, will be established.
Liver, Blood, and Lungs.
Dr. Pierce’s ‘‘Favorite Prescription” i>
not exlolled «8 a ‘ cure-all,” but ad mi rab I'
fulfills a singleness of purpose, lie ng ;
most p »tent specific in those chronic weak
nesses peculiar io women.
PRESIDENT OF THE lCLW YORK
STATE SENATE.
•‘THE
Thoroughly oh anm' It by using l>r. Pierce’s
CONSUMPTION,
Wallowa Chieftain, Jo.^ph, Or.. Oct IT, ’87.
We have used in this office for the past
eighteen month« one of y nr t »id Reliable
tdxio.jnb presses. For strength, motion,
ease of running and for g»*ne al good work
we have never seen a press superior to it
Can cheerfully recommend it to the trade.
Your« truly,
THE
largo treatise, with oolored plate«, on Skin
Diseases, or the mune amount for a treatise
on Scrofulous Affections.
_ ___ ..
which Is Scrofula of the Elings, is ar
rested au<l cured by this remedy, if taken be
fore tho last stages of the disease are reached.
From Its marvelous power over this terribly
fatal disease, when flrnt offering this mnv
celebrated remedy to thr nubile, l)r. P if . hcb
thought seriously of calling it his “C’ou-
suniptloii Cure.” but abandoned that
name ns too limited for a medicine which,
from its wonderful combination of tonic, or
strengthening, alterative, or blood-cleansing,
anti-bilious, pectoral, and nutritive proper
ties, Is unequaled, not only ns a remedy for
consumption, but for all Chronic Dis
ease« of the
THE “OLD RELIABLE.’’
Our national resouroes are so im
mense that the counriy has not yet
seriously felt this drain, but it is evi
dent that the time must come when it
will fuel it. This is es|>ecially true if
we tak«? into consideration the amount
of money spent annually in fighting
lire. Hew York’s fire department alone
costs more than $1,000,000 annually;
its insurance patrol more than $10d,-
000.
The principal insurance oompanie«,
actuated by such considerations, have
adopted a plan which is so simple and
promises to be so effecthR»» that it de
servos to have public attention called
to it.
They have printe«! and propose to dis
tribute gratuitously through every builtl-
ingin the city, a set of “Fire Cautions.”
Their idea is that if these are posted in
conspicuous places in office buildings,
factories, tenement houses and the like,
the practical cautions they embody
will not be apt to be forgotten. Cer
tainly, if they are remembered and al
ways carefully observed, accidental
tires would be few and far between.
Ths cautions are given below. It
can be seen that they are sensible,
practical and intelligible:
Don’t allow stoves or heaters on ydiir
premises which are n<jft securely set on
stone, cemented brick or metal, and be
sure that all woodwork near the stoves
or pipes is carefully protected with
metal.
Don’t allow any loose-jointed gas
brackets on your promises which could
be swung against woodwork, or any
gas brackets without wire screens or
globoii, if hay. straw, light materials or
window curtains are near them.
Don’t allow any electric lights or
wires on your premises which are nor
properly protected.
Don’t allow steam-pipes to be in con
tact with wood or intlaunnable ma
terial.
Don’t allow any kerosene oil lamps
ts be rilled after dark. Filling lamps
near n lire is dangeroas.
Don’t forget to keep the lamps filled,
and wicks in goodoAter. When the oil
is low it generates gas: which is liable
to explode.
Don’t allow’benzine, gasoline, naptha
or explosives in your place. Your in
surance policy prohibits it.
Don't allow aslui.s to bo put in a
wooden box or barrel in your building.
Always have an iron ash can.
Don’t allow any oily waste or rags to
be thrown on tho floor, but only in a
metal can, with cover, and have them
taken out of the building every night;
•hey are self-igniting.
Don’t allow any greasy or oily rags
or papers to be mixed up W’itli clean
clippings, or a large amount of clip
pings to remain in your place (even if
—Just
a comparatively
new fad
clean
and now
in bales)
than is absolutely
has broken out among fasliionables. It
unavoidable.
is Don
installing
prime favorite,
among
’t allow as saw-dust
to bo used
on
he other
floors
or in antiques,
spittoons. the It old-fashioned
causes many
brass ignited
warming
is now
hung
tires,
by pan,
cigar which
stumps
or cigar
in the hall or library near the fireplace.
ettes.
They
give a cheerful
Don’t really
allow do
saw-dust,
to be used look
for
with their
covers, from
which machines
are kept
catching
oil brass
dripping-;
polished
dazzling
or
elevator with
gearing.
Sami is brightness.
safe.
They
large
prices
when
Don’ bring
t allow
matches
to be
kept offered
loose,
for in sale.
So any but
one only
who in metal
has one
or
paper boxes,
or
uckol
sway
in
soma
garret
better
earthen safes. Those lighting only
on
bring
it
forth,
for
they
poss<»ss
a
prize,
the box are safqsL
is Don
they
something
to be
’t are
allow
smoking not
on likely
your prem
reproduced.
— Bl. combustible
Louis Rcjnibliean.
ises
where any
goods or
materials are used.
A Reasonable
Offer.
D<»n’t fail
to have your
tire-bucket«
filled,
and
test
hose
and
appliances
Sleeping Car Porter fire
(dasting
off«
from
time to —
time.
»assenger:)
Am yo’ a resident of New
t allow
fn Don
’k. ’ sarP
’ .your stairs or hallways
to Passenger
be blocked —
up
or used
“storage,
”
Yes,
I’m for one
of the
or
rubbish,
hay, straw,
etc., to accumu
»ffieials
at Castle
Garden.
late
or remain
on your
Sleeping
Car
Porter premises.
(anxiously)—
Don dat
’t fail so?
to have
or ’
Am
Well. all
If elevators
I give« yo
hoistways
provided
good
^ood dnstin
’ off an’ with
blacks
yo’ trap
boot«
doors
or hatches,
and have
in’ gives
yo* a dollar,
tab, these
wud shut
that
at
I* night.
enough? I«e a poo’ man, boss;
Don I ’t is.
forget
deed
— N. to
T. close
Bun. your iron shut-
ters
night.
— at
The
R.uTi'd Bnrn>6>0 white rle-
Don’ is
t forget
that
neglect
care
phm«
to |> re
mo red
from and
Mandalay
lessness
are thecau»e
of more
than
n R ngnnu
in ronvinr*
tho fires
nativni
all other
things,
and enforce
rules to
that
the royal
house
I ihs disappeared
guard against
them.
H. el<
K ph
Commer
forever.'
S • long
M —
the
ant re-
cial
Advertiser.
nalnrd
a1 M mdalay msay of the Bur
ALL HVMOR8,
from a common tllotch, or Eruption,
tn tho worst Scrofula. Salt- rneuiii,
h» rvfwra muf
•verywbwy.
REWARD!
¡■▼Wvrstnr.
Will he pvM for h and e ’*ry Aralo rf p< i«
oo ua Miiaian — f/<in-l in to Ld*>'u A Kota rtina
I takn«»w'e..fe I Ui«t u»o.fc delightful end on y really
■•■>•4« Wy > P Allss.fi* Pawl. Miss harnihaa Lxlet article ev-w p < d »red for i aauUfyinf
, an i i.'Mrrv a g then npleai n
< Un. *u burn
' fr cUietnli l th-adah a and rough «»• of th »kin.
i I e>i a« i lud -a 4 by the eU e o< a.^1 ty a . 1 «be
»-a a holl by ah am gida a» |iea.»|*r botu«
WhiR «ta Fl-h
KF. I»INGT N * O •,__
I
WNnLon • BmggMe,
Fr» ■ Maae A«««R