The BulleTin • Sunday, May 2, 2021 C3
Garden corner
DEAR ABBY
Write to Dear Abby online at dearabby.com
or by mail at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069
Dear Abby: My sister is a
pathological liar who causes
rifts between family mem-
bers. She tries to turn us
against each other. We must
constantly check with each
other to find out if what she
has said about each of us is
true. We can’t understand
why she’s this way. None of
the rest of us is. When I have
asked her, “Why are you ly-
ing about me, us, etc.?” she
tells me, “I did not lie.” I
think she believes her lies.
We have all encouraged
her to seek therapy, but she
denies that she has a prob-
lem. We are at a loss at how
to help her. We want a good
relationship with her, but we
don’t know how at this point.
Should we distance ourselves
from her?
— Sib Trouble in Alabama
Dear Sib Trouble: You
have two ways to go in deal-
ing with your sister. Either
accept that she’s disturbed
and give little credence to
ANYTHING she says that’s
of a divisive nature, or do as
you are inclined and distance
yourselves.
Dear Abby: I’m 15 and
my mother makes me go to
church every Sunday. I don’t
like going. I believe in God,
but I feel awkward when
people ask me about it. My
mother makes everything
bad until she gets her way.
I have tried talking to her
about it, but she doesn’t lis-
ten to me. I don’t know what
to do.
— Dilemma in Texas
Dear Dilemma: Your
mother isn’t listening to you
because she is convinced
that she is doing the right
thing FOR you. Not know-
ing how fervent she is about
her church and her religion,
it’s hard to predict how she
would react if you tried to
turn this into less of a power
struggle and more of an
adult conversation.
As it stands, you are a mi-
nor, and as long as you live
under her roof, she makes
the rules. When you are 18
and can live on your own,
the decision of whether you
want to continue going to
church every Sunday will be
yours. This may seem hard,
but if your mother is unwill-
ing to talk this through with
you, you will have to be pa-
tient.
Dear Abby: I lost my dear
mother-in-law two years ago.
She was a wonderful person,
and I miss her. However,
since her death, my in-laws
have gone into overdrive or-
dering and gifting the family
with items imprinted with
her picture or with “in mem-
ory of” on them. There are
plaques on chairs, memory
gardens, pictures every-
where, T-shirts with her like-
ness, bumper stickers and
items of jewelry. At what
point do you conclude that
this is unhealthy and enough
is enough? Sometimes I feel
like I’m living in a shrine
dedicated to her.
— Sensitive Situation
Dear Sensitive: Your in-
laws are grieving. I’m not
sure it would be helpful to
tell them that what they are
doing is inappropriate. It
would be kinder to quietly
dispose of the unwanted
items as you would any other
gift you can’t use.
YOUR HOROSCOPE
By Madalyn Aslan
Stars show the kind of day you’ll have
DYNAMIC | POSITIVE | AVERAGE | SO-SO | DIFFICULT
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR SUNDAY, MAY 2, 2021: Strong, stead-
fast and charitable, create and keep healthy boundaries, or else you can be
swept away in other people’s problems. This year, you are recognized for
your innovative contributions and your work with a successful team. Be open
to a change that lets you take your lifestyle up several notches. If single, be
discerning. If attached, ask your partner for more help when you need it.
CANCER knows how to nurture.
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
You might be asked to take on responsibilities that you’d prefer to
leave to someone else. Those in charge know that your dynamic energy is
needed in this situation. The experience will ultimately raise your profile.
Tonight: Be patient with stressed-out friends.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
Dive right in when you’re asked to share your wisdom with someone
who’s eager to learn. You can convey a step-by-step process clearly and fully.
Expect a text or email from out of the country. Tonight: Re-read an old book.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
Practice the art of receiving. It really is possible for a gift to be given
with no strings attached. Let a friend give you the treat you so richly deserve.
Your heartfelt thanks will flow freely. Tonight: Think romantic thoughts.
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
A client, close friend or romantic partner will tug at your heartstrings
today. Be a good listener and offer your support, but don’t let anyone’s
negative energy bring you down. Make a long-delayed amorous advance.
Tonight: Time for love.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
Make time for a workout, swim or long walk. Vigorous exercise sup-
ports your mental health and makes your body even stronger. You could
meet a likeminded friend while you’re engaged in an activity you love. To-
night: Update your planner.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Join a friend for online shopping and keep each other’s spending
in check. Shop for artwork to brighten your living space. You could find
something valuable in the attic or basement. Plan a gathering to show it off.
Tonight: Humorous essay.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Look through old photos, diaries and other memorabilia from your
childhood. Continue your online genealogical searches. You are bound to
find more informative and surprising facts. Get in touch with relatives to
share the news. Tonight: Count your blessings.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Care for tools you use every day. Your car could use a maintenance
check, or your phone might need an update. Preventive maintenance stops
trouble from getting in your way. An old school friend could reach out. To-
night: Read in bed.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) 2
Go after an opportunity to earn extra money with a fun and
profitable side hustle. Add to your savings and accumulate enough cash to
support your insatiable passion for learning and travel. The energy you need
is there. Tonight: Strategize.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) 1
Your quest for success could lead to a self-help course. You’re always
looking for new ways to be the best at what you do. An old boss or super-
visor might contact you with an interesting proposal. Tonight: Use your
headphones.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) 12
Let your imagination run wild, and the solution to a problem will be
more obvious than you thought possible. Your colleagues will be astounded
at your creative approach, and you’ll be rewarded for your ingenuity. To-
night: Network with intriguing contacts.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) 11
Tackle a problem or project by asking for help from your friends. Let
people gather together as they assist you. You’ll transform a grueling task
into a fun and entertaining way to laugh and play. Tonight: Turn lemons into
lemonade.
How to avoid planting deer food
BY LIZ DOUVILLE
The Bulletin
T
here are many old and well-known
sayings regarding time and place.
Some biblical, some humorous and
always good reminders for the progres-
sion of our days. With that in mind, it’s
time for the annual “What to do? A deer
ate my plants!”
And this is the place where it happens.
The deer that happily prance through
our landscape are the mule deer, whitish
rump, black-tipped tail and huge ears.
May to June is when you will see deer ma-
mas with possibly two fawns. According
to a Cornell University Extension publi-
cation, a lactating doe requires 4,500 cal-
ories daily. Another source states the daily
needed food is 7 to 10 pounds. When you
think of those calories as buds, leaves, ten-
der shoots and flower parts, that adds up
to lots of foraging.
I am convinced our drought condi-
tions of over a year have caused the deer
to eat anything and everything far beyond
what they have browsed in the past. The
“faithful five” have never touched my lav-
ender, partridge feather, tanacetum den-
sum or wooly thyme, until early spring of
2020. Some may say it might have been
another critter. No, I watched them en-
joy their meal, so I know who did the
deed. You can identify deer damage by
the show of jagged or torn edges on the
stems left behind. It will not be a neat cut
by any means. These are strong landscap-
ing plants, so I know they will recover but
won’t be as lush as two years ago.
Plants that thrive in public plantings
are good hints as to plants that deer may
lightly browse or hopefully pass up en-
tirely. Pay attention especially to the area
Bulletin file
A deer stretches for a crabapple branch. From
mid-April to June, deer frequently raid gar-
dens, targeting sprouting herbaceous plants,
bulbs and emerging tree buds.
around the Old Mill District. We are for-
tunate that our local nurseries are knowl-
edgeable and stock plant materials that are
deer resistant.
Fuzzy-leafed plants are difficult for deer
to swallow — think of dusty miller and
how often it is used in public plantings.
Lamb’s-ear, the artemisia family, fern leaf
yarrow, liatris and beds of iris are popular.
You will also note the absence (generally)
of large plantings of hosta. I tried, but it
was like a three-month Thanksgiving din-
ner. I finally gave up and dug them out
last summer.
Deer tend to shy away from plants with
strong odors. Pungent herbs that have
a lemony, minty, sagey taste make good
choices. Chives, garlic, the alliums are of-
ten intermingled with annuals.
We want to be good gardeners by fertil-
izing our plants in the spring to give them
a good start. We may be a little too heavy-
handed and end up being part of the prob-
lem by encouraging the lush green, tender
growth the deer are waiting for. Wouldn’t it
be better to start building the fertility of the
soil naturally instead of relying on chemi-
cals being applied once a month?
Time flies and before you know it, it’s
July and the time the deer are most inter-
ested in the veggie starts you just planted.
This means we need to go to the ex-
treme measure of “exclusion.” Exclusion
doesn’t mean just a wooden or 6-foot-
high wire fence. A deer won’t go over a
barrier if they can’t see a clear landing spot
on the other side. If you value your food
crop, create a hoop planting area. The
hoops can be PVC pipe or bended metal
covered with bird netting or row cover.
Deer are creatures of habit. They de-
velop a habit of movement, using the
same path for an approach direction and a
second path for a departing direction. You
can break that traffic pattern by using a
heavy strength monofilament fishing line,
stretched across the approach starting
about 18 inches above ground level and
tied off either to a tree or pole. I used that
technique to fence off a corn patch one
year. Three outstanding books are: “Creat-
ing a Deer & Rabbit Proof Garden,” by Pe-
ter Derano; “50 Beautiful Deer-Resistant
Plants,” by Alan L. Detrick and “Deer-Re-
sistant Design,” by Karen Chapman.
e
Reporter: douville@bendbroadband.com