The BulleTin • Sunday, april 18, 2021 C3
Gardening corner
DEAR ABBY
Write to Dear Abby online at dearabby.com
or by mail at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069
Dear Abby: There is a
woman where I work who is
emotionally needy. My work
is autonomous, but we are
in the same group, so I have
to interact with her to some
extent.
Early on, I made the mis-
take of offering her emotional
support, thinking she was go-
ing through something tem-
porary and her life would get
better. This is not the case.
Her life is an anxiety-ridden
train wreck. She doesn’t think
she needs to see a therapist,
which, I guess, makes sense
since I have been performing
that role.
Our conversations begin
with her asking how I’m do-
ing, then 30 seconds later
turn into a monologue of
whatever her current drama
happens to be. I need things
to be copacetic with this
woman, and I have no idea
how to pull away from these
interactions that leave me
overwhelmed and emotion-
ally drained.
I’d like to tell her what the
problem is. I have gently sug-
gested how to look at herself
in a situation or how she can
do things differently. She’s not
inclined to hear anything she
doesn’t agree with. She only
wants to complain and dump
her emotional garbage on me.
She’s now asking me if she
has done something to upset
me, as I have become increas-
ingly distant since we began
working from home. Should
I tell her what my problem
is or leave it until we go back
to the office and refuse to
interact with her unless it’s
work-related?
— Reached the Limit in
California
Dear Reached: Tell your
co-worker that as much as
you like her, the reason you
seem more distant is her per-
sonal problems have become
more than you can handle
hearing about. Explain fur-
ther that you are not quali-
fied to advise her, and even
though she doesn’t want to
see a licensed mental health
professional, you feel she
would benefit from it. It’s the
truth, and the truth will set
you free.
Dear Abby: A longtime
friend and I have always
exchanged birthday cards.
For years, we would try to
“one-up” each other with
funny cards or sometimes
sweet ones. I have always
spent a lot of time in card
stores choosing just the right
one for her.
For the last four or five
years, my friend has sent me
the SAME card, one which
obviously is taken from a box
of cards. They are so old that
the paper has yellowed and
the message is generic and
impersonal.
It’s obvious that she does
not care enough to give my
birthday any thought and,
frankly, it’s tacky. It aggravates
me so much that I’d rather
not receive a card from her. I
rarely see or talk to her any-
more. Am I being petty to let
this bother me as much as it
does?
— Pretty Mad in Kentucky
Dear Pretty Mad: Before
making more negative judg-
ments about your old friend,
make an effort to find out
why her pattern of behavior
changed so radically over the
last four or five years. Is she
having financial or health
problems? That she RE-
MEMBERS your birthday
— regardless of how humbly
— should count in her favor.
The two of you are long over-
due for an honest conversa-
tion to catch up with each
other.
YOUR HOROSCOPE
By Madalyn Aslan
Stars show the kind of day you’ll have
DYNAMIC | POSITIVE | AVERAGE | SO-SO | DIFFICULT
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR SUNDAY, APRIL 18, 2021: Original,
insistent and inventive, your approach to life is filled with constant activity.
This year, you will be successful through sheer force of will. You reaffirm your
confidence and will make an impression on those who matter. Financial
rewards will provide security and allay doubts and fears. If single, don’t be
afraid to make the first move. If attached, discover more activities you love
doing together. VIRGO pampers you.
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
Get the ball rolling with plans for a family reunion. Arrange a Zoom call
with relatives to brainstorm about the arrangements. You yearn to spend
more time with people who know you like a book. Tonight: Prepare your
weekly schedule.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
Take your time reading the Sunday paper and watching news shows.
Go for a walk on a path you don’t usually follow. Chat with neighbors with
whom you have more in common than you think. Tonight: Yoga and relax-
ation exercises.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
You made a professional breakthrough for which you didn’t receive
credit. Reward yourself. Buy something a bit indulgent for yourself that is not
too pricey. Ask a friend for suggestions and shop online together. Tonight:
Continue a serious conversation.
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
Use your winning smile to get the attention of someone you admire.
Stand by a decision you made even if it goes against what others think.
Turn on the charm, and others will see things your way. Tonight: Accept an
invitation.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
Your vibrant personality often belies your need for peace and qui-
etude. Claim a bit of time today to meditate or ponder a problem that’s been
playing out in your mind. An old memory brings a smile. Tonight: Listen to
old stories.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Your desire to make the world a better place will guide you today.
When you think about what is best for everyone involved, you perform a
noble service to your community. A friendship arises from common goals.
Tonight: Pass on information.
LIBRA (Sept.23-Oct. 22)
Enthusiasm for your work could cause you to lose track of time. Family
and friends will alert you when you need to come up for air. Delegate respon-
sibilities and you’ll get things accomplished and smell the roses. Tonight: Talk
things over.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Use all your brain power today. Try your best to explain a complex
set of ideas in simple terms. You’ll arouse curiosity and cultivate the desire
to learn more. Move around more to escape over-thinking things. Tonight:
Taste something exotic.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Take the time to really listen to someone who wants your opinion.
You might not think you have a solution, but something you say could res-
onate and provide someone with exactly what’s needed. Your smile melts
hearts. Tonight: Play loud music.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Look for people who make life easier. A home improvement whiz or a
sharp assistant will take excess burdens off your shoulders. It’s a good day to
call on someone you consider to be your best friend. Tonight: Children’s hour.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Organize your space so you spend less time searching for items you
need at a moment’s notice. Don’t be stubborn. Let people you love offer
advice and help you get started. Exercise outdoors and you’ll feel fabulous.
Tonight: Stay up late.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Let your imagination run wild today, and you could stumble upon
the solution to a long-term problem. When your creative juices begin to flow,
magic happens. Share a funny story with a child or grandchild. Giggle freely.
Tonight: Practice a speech.
Best plants for Central Oregon are native
BY LIZ DOUVILLE
For The Bulletin
E
very year for the past 20
plus years, I start watch-
ing my forsythia bush
for fattening buds. Then I look
over to the emerging daffodils.
Why? I need to have the visual
that phenology is still in place
and the world hasn’t gone “to
heck in a handbasket” over the
winter.
Phenology is the study of the
cyclic relationship between cli-
mate, plant and animal life. In
the case of the forsythia/daffo-
dil relationship it has been the
same time clock over the years.
First, the forsythia blooms fol-
lowed by the daffodils bloom-
ing within two weeks.
In the mid-west, the old-time
farmers watched for “when
the oak leaves are the size of a
squirrel’s ear,” as the indicator
to sow their corn. Another was
“when apple trees shed their
petals it is time to sow corn.”
With soil science information
becoming more available to
the home gardener, we have
learned that proper soil tem-
perature is what drives seed
germination. Some seeds do
germinate at soil temperatures
of 45 to 50 degrees. However,
the crops most gardeners want
in their summer vegetable gar-
den: tomatoes, corn, cukes,
beans, require the optimum
soil temperature of 75 degrees
for in-ground seed planting.
The moral of the story: If you
Forsythia shrubs grow well in Central Oregon. 123RF
want success, buy a soil ther-
mometer.
Now that I am assured spring
gardening in Central Oregon is
on its normal path, I will con-
tinue on with my yearly shop-
ping list of perennials. That’s
the list that usually starts in the
middle of winter when you are
suffering from insomnia and
you get out of bed and look at
a nursery catalog. By the time
April arrives, the wants and de-
sires list is extensive and needs
to drastically be cut back. That’s
hard to do when you want it all.
The sensible and economical
process is to think about and
make a list of what your criteria
are for your landscaping plants.
I have the “friendly five” deer
that visit almost daily. Need-
less to say, I look for deer re-
sistance knowing full well they
will probably nibble, especially
the young ones, but won’t have
a feast. Also high on my list is a
low-water requirement. These
two criteria limit the choices
somewhat but it does make
the best use of my landscaping
budget.
The selections increase when
I refer and sort through the na-
tive plants for Central Oregon
that are available and will meet
my desire for color and texture.
Desert sweet, chamaeba-
tiariar millefolium, a deciduous
shrub listed on the Native Plant
for Central Oregon list is one
that I am planning on adding
this year.
Desert sweet is also known
as fernbush for its fern-like leaf
appearance. The small shrub
produces white flowers that are
sweetly aromatic. In addition to
the aromatic flowers, the leaves
have a sticky quality which is
also a deer deterrent feature.
The preferred growing con-
dition for the irregular, un-
kept-looking shrub is in full
sun. Desert Sweet is listed in
the OSU publication “Wa-
ter-wise Gardening in Central
Oregon,” EM 9136.
I will also be looking for
agastache berberi or humming-
bird mint, which is considered
to be a magnet for butterflies
and hummingbirds. This group
has many common names.
Hummingbird mint and an-
ise hyssop are two of the more
hardy varieties. I have ‘golden
jubilee’ anise hyssop, which has
overwintered in a planter for at
least five years.
Salvias are also on my list for
their pollinator quality and at-
traction for bees. The varieties
are cold hardy, deer resistant,
and listed on the water-wise
plant list. With the exception
of ‘east friesland’ most varieties
will not reseed. The plant bene-
fits by deadheading to encour-
age a second bloom.
The air temperatures may
be going the full range of un-
predictable spring weather but
plant growth is happening. Ev-
ery day I discover something
new has popped out of the soil.
The alliums are showing strong
growth which reminds me to
add more bulbs to the fall shop-
ping list. The lists never end.
Resources: Selecting native
plants for home landscapes in
Central Oregon, https:// catalog.
extension.oregonstate.edu/ec
1623.
e
Reporter:
douville@bendbroadband.com