THE BULLETIN • TUESDAY, MARCH 16, 2021 A7
Iditarod
DEAR ABBY
Continued from A5
Write to Dear Abby online at dearabby.com
or by mail at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069
Dear Abby: I have been
with the same man for al-
most 30 years. We are not
married and have no children
together. He is 15 years older
than I am.
We have been living in
his house for the past seven
years. I feel more like a renter
than a partner in this rela-
tionship. I give him money
every month, and we sleep
in separate rooms. He wants
to control everything in his
house, including how to
clean, cook or what we eat. I
bite my lip to avoid starting a
confrontation.
He is a lifelong bachelor,
while I have two adult chil-
dren and a couple of grand-
kids. I’m not sure how much
more of this I can take. I
work all day; he doesn’t. I
want to leave, but at the same
time, I care and worry about
him. What should I do?
— Disillusioned in Illinois
Dear Disillusioned: Quit
biting your lip. Gather your
courage and start an hon-
est conversation with your
housemate in which you tell
him you have been unhappy
with the status quo for a
long time. Then outline the
changes that would make you
happy. If he isn’t willing to
compromise, then pack your
bags and leave because you
will know the feelings you
have for him are not mutual.
Dear Abby: I’ve been
“friends” with a woman
for 25 years. For a time, we
were best friends and did
everything together, but we
couldn’t be more different. It
caused many fights and dis-
agreements over the years.
She has deeply hurt and em-
barrassed me countless times.
She ruined birthdays, dam-
aged other relationships —
even ruined my bachelorette
party. I don’t know why I still
bother with her. I think be-
cause of our deep roots, it’s
hard to let go.
At the moment, we hav-
en’t spoken in more than two
months, and I know she’s up-
set with me yet again. Should
I reach out and mend the
bond? Do I use this as a step-
ping stone to start moving
on? I love her, but I know it
really is a toxic relationship.
— Off Again in New Jersey
Dear Off Again: Please re-
read the last sentence of your
letter. Do not bother reaching
out and trying to mend the
breach in your relationship.
You cannot fix what’s wrong
with this old friend, but you
can move on. Her silence is
giving you the opportunity.
Take it!
Dear Abby: My son is get-
ting married in a couple of
weeks. Due to COVID-19, he
and his fiancee are having to
downsize the list of invitees.
This includes asking those
who have already RSVP’d
“yes” and/or have already
given them a wedding gift
not to attend. Should they
return the wedding gifts to
those they are disinviting to
the wedding?
— Wondering in the South
Dear Wondering: Your son
and his fiancee should at least
OFFER to return the gifts.
Considering the reason for
the downsizing, some of the
no-longer-invited guests may
tell them to keep them along
with their good wishes, while
others will not.
YOUR HOROSCOPE
By Madalyn Aslan
Stars show the kind of day you’ll have
DYNAMIC |
POSITIVE |
AVERAGE |
SO-SO |
DIFFICULT
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR TUESDAY, MARCH 16, 2021: Idealis-
tic, reserved and romantic, you take pride in how you look and feel. This year,
you can make lifestyle changes that will improve your health and vitality.
Finances are challenging at first, but once you plan expenses you will do
fine with extra to spare. If single, join a group of like-minded people seeking
partners. If attached, plan a getaway to renew the love you share. GEMINI
awakens your creativity.
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
A house plant or fresh flowers will brighten your mood. So will a
new outfit that you can wear to a party or job interview. If you go overbudget
then just skimp on something else. Tonight: Treat yourself to dessert.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
HHH Begin a balanced eating plan that includes no more meals on the run.
Share self-help tips with friends or in an online group. Set an example with
your no-nonsense approach. Others will follow your lead. Tonight: Work on
budget revisions.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
It9s the perfect time to take a break from social activities and reboot.
Start a journal or keep a dream log. Your words may clarify a future direction.
Herbal teas and mild exercise sound inviting. Tonight: Add songs to your
playlist.
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
Plan an outing with friends you have not seen lately. Catch up on gos-
sip. Someone may have hurt your feelings, so let them know and move on. It
is never a good idea to harbor ill will. Tonight: Shop online.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
A project you began may finally bear fruit. Watch for signs that it
has progressed. If you need to make revisions, ask others to join your team.
Don9t be afraid to ask for help. Tonight: Contact a friend from school.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
The keyword for today is travel. Opportunities to get out and about
will present themselves, so plan a weekend getaway. Get a romantic partner
or friend to join you. Make anything you do an adventure. Tonight: Watch a
courtroom drama.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Expand your income stream. Offer services that stem from years of
experience. Avoid get-rich-quick schemes advertised on social media. Con-
sult a financial adviser or trusted friend. Stop overthinking and follow your
instincts. Tonight: Give yourself a beauty treatment.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Take stock of different relationships in your life. Let go of those who
may be toxic. Feelings between you and someone close may get intense,
so talk things through. Postpone contracts for at least a week if possible.
Tonight: Affectionate displays.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Reconsider a risky decision you may have made recently. If you
play it safe you will have no doubts or fears. Pay attention to health matters,
especially your teeth, bones and knees. No need to panic. Tonight: Make a
commitment.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Someone funny and charming may catch your eye. Don9t be coy.
Make yourself known. Sign up for lessons in a sport that you love. Keep that
activity in mind when you plan your vacation. Tonight: A romantic interest
might surprise you.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Emotions run high, so talk things out with those close to you. Re-
searching your family tree may remind you to call an out-of-touch relative.
Plan a reunion where you can connect with memories. Bring mementoes,
anecdotes and photographs. Tonight: Spring cleaning.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Today neighbors may get on your nerves. Think positive thoughts and
send them good vibes. A higher-up who matters at work will listen to your
ideas. Feedback may be better than you ever expected. Tonight: Gather for a
family meeting.
Looking for local events or want to add your own? Go to bendbulletin.com/events
Questions? Call 541-383-0304 or email go@bendbulletin.com.
Numerous mushers have
tried to crack the five-title
barrier over the past three de-
cades only to fall short. Four-
time champions and familiar
names to fans are the late Susan
Butcher, Martin Buser, Lance
Mackey, Doug Swingley and
Jeff King.
Seavey said the goal has been
to get the fifth title, which puts
a musher in a pretty elite group,
but he’s also realistic about what
it means.
“I don’t hold any misconcep-
tions that this would somehow
change me,” he said before the
race. “We see that in sports
quite a lot where we focus so
much on one thing and the as-
sumption that it is if you win,
this is somehow miraculously
going to solve all your other
problems. That’s not the case.”
Seavey said at the finish line
he tries to give himself a little
time after each win to revel in
it, but then it’s time to focus on
the next thing, whatever it is.
“Whatever you’re doing, give
it your whole attention and
Canzano
Continued from A5
That lavish hotel suite ends
up as part of the final narra-
tive for the outgoing commis-
sioner. There were high hopes
but the most memorable parts
of Scott’s tenure hit some of the
wrong themes. Other major
conferences were talking about
NCAA Tournament shares,
College Football Playoff payouts
and media-rights mega-deals.
But the so-called “Conference
of Champions” was stuck on
chartered flights, Scott’s $5
million-a year salary, a lavish
downtown-San Francisco pal-
ace, shaky officiating and a Pac-
12 Network that mostly frus-
trated fans while it bled cash.
Scott is out officially in June.
His contract was not renewed.
Scott received a $1.9 million in-
terest-free loan from the confer-
ence when he was hired more
than a decade ago. The loan will
be paid back in full as part of
Scott’s separation agreement,
Andrew Walker, a conference
spokesperson said.
The search firm hired by the
Pac-12 hasn’t yet begun to make
contact with candidates. As of
last week it was still in the “lis-
tening” phase, consulting with
the 12 university presidents to
determine what qualities they’d
like to see in the next commis-
sioner.
I’m good with the Pac-12 tak-
ing some time and getting this
hire right.
How about someone who
would be willing to take a com-
mercial flight? Or pass on the
“Sky Villa” because he or she
understood it was a bad look?
Or maybe just someone who
will spend some time on Pac-12
campuses, grasping the chal-
lenges of daily university life?
What’s lacked most in the last
decade is a connection between
the campuses and the confer-
ence headquarters. It’s why I’ll
be curious to see if Scott’s re-
placement is a former sitting
athletic director or maybe just
someone who takes the job and
announces that the first order of
business is to spend a week on
each of the campuses, listening.
Washington State president
Kirk Schulz, told me, “You’ve
got 12 schools, they’re like 12
children. You have to love ‘em
all different. I want the commis-
sioner to show up at Pullman
(and other schools) and say,
‘What can I do to help you suc-
ceed?’”
Scott is on his final big trip on
the company dime this week in
Las Vegas. A conference source
said that this year Scott stayed at
Park MGM hotel like everyone
else. So maybe “Champagne
Larry” has learned something.
Or maybe his hotel choice was
rooted in necessary COVID-19
“bubble” protocols, as all 11
teams that participated in the
men’s basketball tournament
stayed at the same hotel this
year.
In prior years the teams have
been scattered along The Strip.
With a pandemic going on, and
swaths of Las Vegas still shut
down, the decision was made
to keep the members together.
The optics of that — a confer-
ence finally united — look far
better.
I’ve talked to a handful of
the conference’s presidents
and chancellors in the last few
we’ll dwell on the records or
the numbers when we’re too
old to keep doing it. That’s the
time to look back at it,” he said.
“But right now, I want to keep
moving.”
He completed the 848-mile
trail in 7 days, 14 hours, 8 min-
utes and 57 seconds. Seavey has
won titles in 2012, 2014, 2015,
2016 and 2021.
The victory also marks
Seavey’s return to the race that
has been a part of his fam-
ily’s history since the start.
His grandfather, Dan Seavey,
placed third in the first Iditarod
in 1973.
Seavey finished second to
his father, three-time winner
Mitch Seavey, in the 2017 race.
Shortly after, Iditarod officials
announced that four of Dallas
Seavey’s dogs tested positive for
a banned opioid painkiller.
Seavey vehemently denied
giving his dogs any painkill-
ers. A year later, the Iditarod
reversed course and cleared
Seavey of any wrongdoing. But
he skipped the Iditarod until
this year, choosing to compete
with his dogs in Europe in-
stead.
He said he holds no animos-
ity toward the Iditarod and said
the entire Seavey family loves
the race and what it means to
Alaska. “I think things are all
good with the Iditarod right
now,” he said.
The pandemic didn’t stop the
Iditarod from starting March
7 with 46 mushers. During the
race, mushers have bypassed
most rural Alaska villages that
normally serve as checkpoints
as a safety precaution, leaving
the competitors to sleep in tent
camps outside towns or under
the stars in temperatures that
have reached minus 55 degrees.
Since then, nine have
scratched including fan favor-
ite Aliy Zirkle, who was injured
in a fall in what she has said
would be her last race. Another
musher, Gunnar Johnson, was
withdrawn after he tested posi-
tive for COVID-19. That left 36
teams on the trail.
The race route was changed
and shortened this year. Mush-
ers started the race near Wil-
low, about 50 miles (80 kilome-
ters) north of Anchorage. From
there, they traveled to the ghost
town of Iditarod and then
turned back around to finish in
Willow.
A normal race is about 1,000
miles (1,609-kilometer), and
takes mushers across the wilds
of Alaska from Willow to the
finish line in Nome, on the
state’s Bering Sea coast.
Though the race was short-
ened, Seavey said he doesn’t
think there should be an aster-
isk beside his name as the 2021
champion because the trail is
different every year.
Seavey has started the race
from the Anchorage area, from
Fairbanks when there wasn’t
enough snow further south,
and he’s done the race’s north-
ern and southern routes.
“When you beat everybody
that shows up, you win on the
trail they give you,” Seavey said.
Defending champion
Thomas Waerner didn’t race
this year because of uncertainty
in arranging travel during the
pandemic. He was stuck in
Alaska for months after win-
ning last year, and only got
home to Norway after hitching
a ride on a vintage airplane fly-
ing from Anchorage to its new
home at a museum in Norway.
months. They’re engaged and
interested in rectifying and re-
building the brand of the Pac-
12. One president told me that
there’s renewed hope and en-
thusiasm. Another suggested
the conference’s CEO Group
was blown away by what the
search firm shared with them.
Another said it will just be nice
to stop talking about Larry
Scott and start talking about
what the Pac-12 can become
with new leadership.
This is a conference that has
so many good stories to tell.
Oregon State, for example, was
picked by some to finish dead
last in men’s basketball this sea-
son. Wayne Tinkle’s Beavers are
now headed to the tournament
as a No. 12 seed after defeating
Colorado Saturday night in the
Pac-12 tournament champion-
ship game.
The Pac-12 has great coaches,
wonderful facilities, dedicated
athletes and good geography.
Its got some of the best sta-
dium-backdrop landscape in
America. Also, this conference
has droves of alumni who are
eager to see the Pac-12 succeed.
The point here isn’t to beat
up on Scott and turn him into
a victim. Truth is, I think Scott
meant well. His hire was a cor-
rection from the folksy act of
his predecessor, Tom Hansen.
Scott wasn’t warm and engag-
ing. He could be awkward in
public appearances and strug-
gled to connect with his staff.
He acted suspiciously like one
of those Fortune 500 CEOs,
busy managing up to the board
members, not down to his staff.
It drove the athletic directors in
the conference nuts because, in
the end, they felt dismissed and
ignored.
Never more so than this same
week in 2014 when Scott met in
Las Vegas with the conference
athletic directors. It’s an annual
Saturday-morning meeting. But
seven years ago a particularly
frustrated room was engaged in
a terse standoff with the confer-
ence commissioner.
Then-Utah AD Chris Hill
was pressing Scott on budget
issues and poor revenue distri-
bution. Hill had the respect and
support of the room. He was
a senior member and well re-
garded by his peers. Hill pushed
the commissioner for answers,
asked some hard questions, and
soon got cut off.
Scott sniped at Hill: “You’re
lucky for what you get.”
The ADs didn’t feel so lucky.
The Pac-12 has a lot of work
to do. It won’t be easy to stay
competitive with the Big Ten
and SEC. They’ve got superior
media-rights deals, larger stadi-
ums and rabid fan bases. There’s
also the matter of what to do
when the 11-year, $92 million
lease on the Pac-12 headquar-
ters expires in late 2022. Maybe
the offices will be moved right
here to Las Vegas. Also, there’s
a network to save. But the right
hire is out there, somewhere.
Probably someone who
would never have stayed in that
villa in the sky.