THE BULLETIN • WEDNESDAY, MARCH 3, 2021 A7
GARDENING
DEAR ABBY
Write to Dear Abby online at dearabby.com
or by mail at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069
Dear Abby: I have been on
and off with a man for two
years. In all this time, he has
never spent a holiday or Val-
entine’s Day with me, or in-
troduced me to his family or
friends. He told me to stay
in the bathroom at his office
when his friends showed up
unexpectedly. When I ob-
jected, he said, “It’s only for 20
minutes.” I was horrified.
He accuses me of picking
fights and says I will never be
happy with anyone when I try
to talk with him about it. He
breaks up with me at holiday
time, never calls when he’s
on vacation and our dates are
always last minute. I realize
he is using me for sex, but he
insists I am wrong and he is a
decent man.
Two birthdays passed,
and he didn’t even wish me a
happy birthday, yet he buys
presents and cards for every
occasion for his friends and
family. He blocks my number
if I don’t “behave properly.” He
calls me “Miss” in public, but
calls waitresses “Sweetie” the
few times we have gone out.
Narcissistic and emotion-
ally abusive? Am I wrong? He
tells me no one will stay with
me once they know the type
of woman I am. I’m not al-
ways at fault like he wants me
to believe. He buys me noth-
ing to drink or eat when we’re
together. I pay my own way. I
regret the day he entered my
life. How can I make him see
what he does is wrong?
— Almost Done in New York
Dear Almost Done: This
shameless man may never
view what he’s been doing as
wrong, so don’t try to “make”
him see anything. End this
sorry excuse for a relationship
now, because it is degrading,
a waste of your time, and it’s
very likely that he is married
and cheating on his wife.
Dear Abby: I am 62, very
healthy and youthful, and
work full time as an R.N.
I recently started dating a
67-year-old man I met on a
dating site. We go out, do var-
ious things together, laugh
and seem to be compatible.
My concern is, he has signifi-
cant heart disease.
He’s had stents put in and
is on multiple meds. He also
has moderate kidney failure.
I’m realizing he’s very preoc-
cupied with the state of his
health because he talks about
it often, and he sees physicians
as well as a naturopath and
myofascial release specialist.
We were taking my dogs
for a walk recently and he said
he didn’t feel well. He fell, and
his defibrillator went off. An-
other time we were on a trip
and he couldn’t walk far be-
fore saying he needed water,
and he also wanted to be sure
there was a bathroom close
by. Another time we were
attempting to have some in-
timacy and his defibrillator
went off, which put a damper
on the mood.
Should I stay with this guy
when his general health is
so poor? It’s affecting me —
and us. I don’t want to be a
caretaker, although I do have
compassion for him.
— Heartstrings Pulled
Dear Heartstrings: What a
sad situation. It shouldn’t take
a medical background to see
what the future holds, at least
for him.
This is a new relationship.
Not once in your letter did
you mention the depth of his
feelings for you or yours for
him. He does — and proba-
bly will continue to — need
looking after. Because you
stated you are not prepared
to do that, tell him NOW
while he’s well enough to find
someone who would be.
YOUR HOROSCOPE
By Madalyn Aslan
Gardening can be therapy for what ails ya
BY LIZ DOUVILLE
For The Bulletin
T
he onset of the 2020
COVID Pandemic has
seen more and more
people turn to gardening as
an escape. Gyms have closed
or are on a limited capacity
and the long-term working
at-home has brought garden-
ing back in favor as a center-
ing point for mental health as
well as physical health. There
are many individual reasons
to use gardening as a new tool
for some at-home therapy. The
National Garden Bureau cred-
its author Janis Kiefi for com-
piling a list of “10 Reasons to
Garden.” I have added some of
my own thoughts.
1. Garden for safe, healthy
food: Reports of food-borne
illnesses and contamination
regularly appear in the news.
There are growing concerns
over the use of pesticides,
which has led to an increased
interest in growing or at least
purchasing organic produce.
There is also the issue of pre-
servatives and additives in our
food. As a test, or maybe bore-
dom, I bought a loaf of a pop-
ular white bread to see how
long it would keep in the re-
frigerator (not freezer) before it
started getting unusable. After
2 months, I got tired of mov-
ing it around, and I put it in the
freezer to use as French toast.
At that point, it was still usable,
only slightly dried out.
At present, I am most con-
cerned with the fresh food sup-
ply as affected by the weather.
An alarming report out of
Texas regarding the fresh
greens crop that was just about
ready for harvest when the bad
weather hit, declared it was a
total loss. That would include
many of the salad greens, plus
fields of cilantro. Central Or-
egon probably isn’t on the dis-
tribution route of Texas greens
Jacob Ammentorp Lund
Gardening can be a joy and a good stress reliever.
but it brings to mind that
perhaps we should be more
self-sufficient. Who knows
when our fresh food chain may
be disrupted?
2. Garden for exercise: Gar-
dening is as good an exercise as
a trip to the gym, which may
not even be open. Gardening
activities provide both cardio
and aerobic exercise. Studies
show that an hour of moder-
ate gardening can burn up to
300 calories for women, almost
400 calories for men. For older
people, especially women, gar-
dening can help reduce osteo-
porosis.
The weather will start
changing soon, at least to the
point that Central Oregon
gardeners can be doing some
prep work. Maybe build a new
raised bed or start amending
existing beds. Any chore that
will get you outside to stretch
and bend is helpful.
3. Garden to add beauty:
Think of the garden as another
room to be enjoyed whether
you are inside or outside the
house. When the time is right
for us, looking at a colorful
container near the front door
or on a patio can lower blood
pressure. Think of adding
shrubs and trees for color and
for shelter for birds.
4. Garden to learn: How
many times have you looked at
a leaf or an insect and thought
“I wonder”? Now is a good
time to make finding the an-
swers a priority. Learning more
about insects might even be
the encouragement you need
to discontinue use of pesti-
cides.
5. Garden to meet people:
Gardening is a great way to ex-
pand your social circle. It’s also
a great conversation starter.
The Bend community gardens,
Discovery Park Community
Garden and Hollinshead Com-
munity Garden offer garden
plots at a reasonable rental fee.
The plots are awarded through
a lottery registration process.
Registration for both gardens is
open now and can be made by
sending an email to gocomga@
gmail.com. Designate which
garden you are interested in
on the subject line. Applicants
are asked to include their full
name, preferred email address
and a telephone number where
they can be reached. Registra-
tion is open until April 2. One
entry per household is allowed.
Also included in the listing
of top 10 reasons were: Gar-
den to make money, garden to
be creative — try something
new, garden for emotional
needs and spiritual connec-
tions and garden for lasting
memories. Lastly, you probably
have your own reasons. List
them in your garden journal
and review them occasionally
to be sure you are still on track.
e
Reporter: douville@bendbroadband.com
MLB
Continued from A5
Stars show the kind of day you’ll have
õ õ õ õ õ DYNAMIC | õ õ õ õ POSITIVE | õ õ õ AVERAGE | õ õ SO-SO | õ DIFFICULT
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR WEDNESDAY, MARCH 3, 2021:
Directed, conceptual and well-prepared, you have both the imagination and
practicality that allow you to put your ideas into practice. This year, you suc-
ceed tremendously in a project that is tightly supervised. If single, you have
a private life, and either you lose yourself in someone or don9t let them in. In
2022, you meet Mr. or Ms. Right. If attached, you9re finally with the perfect
partner. LIBRA thinks you9re funny.
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
õõõ Today finds you solving mysteries or engaged in research work. The
security needs and decisions of others intertwine with your own finances.
Comforting and meaningful messages arrive from the afterworld. Tonight:
Relaxation exercises enhance your health and energy.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
You can be transformed by love. An encounter with a past partner
is likely. A turning point for the better comes to those seeking a meaningful
relationship. Profound healing is possible at this time. Go for it. Tonight: Wait
and watch.
õõõõõ
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
õõõ It9s a time when you9ll reap what has been sown regarding your health.
You9re aware of the effects of past health-related decisions. A favorable
aspect promises that healing and enhanced fitness will be the reward of the
efforts you make to develop good habits. Tonight: Relax.
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
Relieve the daily grind by working in a new location or taking
more breaks. Add variety to your job by working on several projects at once.
A younger person brings joy. Your past efforts are appreciated. You9re happy
with yourself. Tonight: A sigh of relief.
õõõõõ
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
õõõ Purchase needed household supplies and arrange for home repairs. A
feng shui treatment would be a good idea. Avoid confrontations or financial
risk today. All that is familiar and tried and true has a special magic now. To-
night: Catch up with family members.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
õõõõ Today places you in the role of peacemaker. A neighbor or sibling
seeks your advice. Help others, but pull away from those who are too needy.
Learning a new subject or catching up on reading is favored. Tonight: A casu-
al conversation offers valuable information.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
õõõõ Today promises to have an impact on your finances. Adjustments to
accommodate changes in the status quo are a must. Don9t risk your security;
gamble only with funds you can afford to lose. Be flexible and patient. A
financial dream just might come true. Tonight: Pray.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
õõõõ Today brings improved self-awareness. Be your own best friend by
making changes. A progressive mood develops. Others challenge you. Look
at how patterns impact your closest relationships. It9s tempting to be lacka-
daisical about health care. Tonight: Cultivate kind and upbeat associates.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
õõõ Today makes your sense of hearing especially keen. Avoid loud noises,
but listen to the wind, waves or early morning call of birds. Finances and
friendship combine gracefully. Keep impatience in check. Tonight: If you9re
feeling stressed, seek relaxation.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Beauty in all forms provides a spiritual experience. Friendships be-
come warmer and more intimate. The potential for happy romance is pres-
ent. Accept opportunities to follow your heart9s desire regarding your career
and finances. Tonight: You feel your life becoming more stable.
õõõõõ
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
õõõõ Today emphasizes complex situations at work and is also excellent
for intuitive flashes. Divine with runes or tarot. Focus on essentials, don9t get
sidetracked, and all will be well. You9ll be able to employ your promotional
skills effectively. Tonight: Networking online.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
õõõõ A great burst of energy propels you into today. It9s an excellent
cycle for study. Put your ideas into action. Tolerance and good manners are
essential if dealing with difficult co-workers. Expect a power shift. Tonight: A
matter of reputation and credibility.
They were not only happy to
be playing again, but thrilled
by the return of fans to the
spring training ballparks.
Turns out crowds matter in
sports, even if it took a pan-
demic for players to fully ap-
preciate them.
“We made reference to it
a couple times, how nice is it
having people in the stands,”
Yankees manager Aaron
Boone said.
“I saw a highlight before we
walked out of BP. A kid chas-
ing a ball going over the fence
and those kind of things. It’s
been too long.”
Way too long, even though
last year’s shortened season
ended earlier than usual with
the Dodgers breaking a 32-year
drought by winning the World
Series. There were some fans in
attendance in Texas to watch,
but for the most part the 2020
season will be remembered for
empty seats, cardboard cut-
outs and fake noise meant to
cover up the whole joylessness
of it all.
Now there’s optimism in the
air, not just for sports but for
the world as we know it. Ev-
ery team still has a chance to
make the World Series, and ev-
ery player and fan knows they
eventually will be able to get a
vaccine shot.
Hope may always spring
eternal, but this spring we’ve
got a lot more to hope for.
The role that fans play in
spring training this year will
surely be more noticed, if not
more important. Without
them, there’s no smell of hot
dogs, no cheers and no one
rushing to chase a foul ball.
Without them, the grass
doesn’t seem nearly as green.
By this time next month
when the real season starts,
Charlie Riedel/AP
San Diego Padres’ Tommy Pham bats during a spring training game against the Chicago Cubs on Monday in
Peoria, Arizona.
“I hit a ground ball but just hearing the fans kind of spark
up. You hear that instant crowd reaction. Kind of had little
butterflies getting back to your first at-bat.”
— Aaron Judge, New York Yankees slugger
there will be even more of
them watching. Barring a spike
in infection rates, ballparks in
all MLB cities will welcome
them on opening day, and ca-
pacity limits figure to eventu-
ally be loosened, if not entirely
abandoned.
That means baseball more
or less as usual, though it’s not
time to discard that mask just
yet.
Wear one to go catch one
of those six- or seven-inning
games that will be the norm
this spring, assuming you can
get a seat. With capacity limits
in place, tickets are already at
a premium and being resold at
inflated prices for fans starved
for real baseball.
Wear one to get a glimpse
of Pham on a San Diego team
that is suddenly loaded with
talent.
Wear one to see Mancini
play on a Baltimore team that
will struggle to stay out of the
American League East base-
ment.
The 25% capacity crowd on
hand in Florida did just that
Sunday and got more than
just a ragged spring training
opener. Mancini hadn’t played
in the year since finding out he
had Stage 3 colon cancer two
weeks shy of his 28th birthday,
and he got a standing ovation
from both dugouts, as well as
the crowd, when he went up
for his first at-bat.
“It was amazing,” Mancini
said. “I almost teared up a lit-
tle bit, I’m not going to lie … it
meant the world to me. It was a
really, really cool moment and
one of my favorite moments of
my baseball career.”
A cool moment for every-
one, really, which is what made
having fans on hand even bet-
ter. The Orioles’ best — and
most popular player — singled
in his first at-bat in a year, and
if he was nearly in tears, so
were most of the people in the
ballpark.
It was the best kind of start
for a season already shaping up
to be the best ever.