THE BULLETIN • TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2021 A7
Shiffrin
DEAR ABBY
Write to Dear Abby online at dearabby.com
or by mail at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069
Dear Abby: My husband
and I suffered a miscarriage
five months ago, in the 12th
week. I’m still not doing well.
I have put on a facade to get
by, but I’m just starting to re-
alize how deeply this is affect-
ing my life.
I used to be a happy,
friendly person. Always a
smile on my face and laugh-
ter to be shared and hugs for
my loved ones. Since the mis-
carriage, I put on a fake smile
and try to be who I once was,
but I can’t keep doing it. Ev-
ery day there is a moment
from that day or the after-
math that floods my mind.
I’m angry, bitter, mad at the
unfairness, and I no longer
have compassion or sympa-
thy for others.
This isn’t me. I don’t want
to be this way. My happiness
has been replaced with tears
and sadness. The hopefulness
is replaced by emptiness. I’m
very lost, and I don’t know
how to get out of this funk.
I no longer want to try to
get pregnant again because
the fear of the physical and
emotional pain of another
miscarriage has me para-
lyzed. Any advice you might
give would be greatly appre-
ciated.
— Broken in Missouri
Dear Broken: Please accept
my sympathy for the loss of
your child. Your depression
and the fear you have about
another pregnancy are not
unusual after a tragedy like
the one you have experi-
enced. You are grieving, and
the emotions you are feeling
are to be expected.
Please schedule an ap-
pointment with your OB/
GYN and tell your doctor
about all of these feelings,
because the doctor can refer
you to someone who can help
you work through this. It will
take time, but I assure you it
is doable.
Dear Abby: My boyfriend
and I have been together for
close to a year now. In the be-
ginning, we were crazy about
each other and everything
was great.
Our hometowns are two
hours apart so, to make it
work, he bought us a house
right in between. It was an
hour each way to our parents’
houses. I thought it was the
perfect compromise. But now
he’s telling me he isn’t happy
here in our new town, and he
needs to sell the house and
move back home.
He says he still wants to
be with me and that we are
going to make it work, but I
can’t help but be scared that
this is gonna be the end of
our relationship. Should I
tough it out and see if we can
actually make it work? Or
do I call it quits and let go
because maybe it is just not
meant to be?
— Mixed Up in Massachusetts
Dear Mixed Up: You left
out one important fact in
your letter to me. WHY does
your boyfriend need to sell
the house you share and
move back home? Is he so
closely tied to his parents that
being an hour away is too far?
Is it work-related? Is he dis-
satisfied with your relation-
ship? Ask him these ques-
tions because the answers will
tell you what you can expect.
My advice is to let things play
out a bit more before making
any decision other than to
put the house on the market.
YOUR HOROSCOPE
Continued from A5
Shiffrin, you see, has had
the same exact focus for medal
races since her very first big
event — the 2013 worlds in
Schladming, Austria. Or, to
be more precise, since halfway
through the slalom at those
worlds, when she won the
world title at age 17 for her first
medal.
Shiffrin recently thought
back to that race, acknowledg-
ing that she was “freaking out”
between runs.
After the first leg, Shiffrin
sat third behind Scandinavian
veterans Frida Hansdotter and
Tanja Poutiainen, and had Ma-
ria Höfl-Riesch and Tina Maze
— two of the greatest skiers of
their generation — breathing
down her neck in fourth and
fifth position, respectively.
Shiffrin was listening to
music on her headphones but
having a tough time taming
her nerves inside the hospital-
ity area when U.S. teammate
Steven Nyman walked in and
asked her mom and coach, Ei-
leen, what the problem was.
“He said, ‘Alright, alright,
alright. Tell her to take her
headphones off, we have to
have a discussion,’” Shiffrin
said. “And we did. And he said,
‘World championships there is
one goal. You’re not trying to
protect your lead in the over-
all title or the season titles or
anything. You’re not protecting
anything. You go for gold, that’s
it. … You have everything to
gain and nothing to lose. So go
for it.’
“And I was like, ‘Huh. That’s
really interesting. OK,’” Shiffrin
added. “And it didn’t, like, take
away my nerves of whether I
could ski faster, make up the
time difference, or all those
different pieces. But it got me
psyched up just to do my best.
And every world champion-
ships since then, whether I’m
nervous or I’m feeling great
— it doesn’t matter — I have
Giovanni Auletta/AP
United States’ Mikaela Shiffrin speeds down the course during a women’s giant slalom, at the alpine ski
World Championships, in Cortina d’Ampezzo, Italy, on Thursday.
always remembered what Ste-
ven said.”
Nyman, a 39-year-old
downhiller who has won
three World Cup downhills
but never a medal at a worlds
or Olympics, recalled how he
“found it kind of funny that she
was so nervous even though
she had already had so much
success.”
“But that’s what makes her
unique,” Nyman said via email.
“(Marcel) Hirscher had the
same attitude. He never felt like
he was so good he could cruise.
He always played mind games
with himself making him be-
lieve people were right on his
tail.”
Hirscher, the recently retired
Austrian who won a record
eight straight overall World
Cup titles, also once discussed
how he so consistently em-
ployed his go-for-broke strat-
egy.
As Nyman suggested,
Hirscher imagined that he was
always being chased.
“If you’re standing in front
of a big, big, huge wall, and you
have no opportunity to climb
up there, and then behind you,
there are a hundred crazy dogs
who want to eat you up, then
you have to go for your life,”
Hirscher said in 2013 when
asked to explain his approach.
It’s the same attacking men-
tality that Shiffrin employed
when she won gold in com-
bined, silver in giant slalom
and bronze in super-G and sla-
lom over the last two weeks in
Cortina.
The four medals matched
the biggest haul ever by a
woman at worlds, with Mari-
elle Goitschel (in 1966), Rosi
Mittermaeier (1976), Hanni
Wenzel (1980) and Anja Pär-
son (2007) also having won
four medals in a single edition.
Shiffrin’s achievement was
all the more remarkable con-
sidering that she didn’t race for
10 months last year following
the sudden death of her father,
Jeff Shiffrin. Her comeback
was then slowed by the coro-
navirus pandemic and a back
injury.
Without much training,
Shiffrin had raced only spar-
ingly entering the worlds.
“She doesn’t have the domi-
nance this year as years past so
it had to be hard for her find
that belief to win,” said Nyman,
who has known Shiffrin since
she was a child. “She is facing
new mental arenas currently
and it has been fun to watch
her navigate them.”
That’s because, whether she
has trained or not, Shiffrin
is always the skier to beat —
which makes her one of the
biggest medal threats for next
year’s Beijing Olympics.
“I know that I have the capa-
bilities to ski really fast. And if
I do, I know it has the capabil-
ity to win,” Shiffrin said. “But
it just boils down to whether I
do that well enough, and really
what the other girls do. And
I can’t control what they do.
So all I can really do is go out
there and try my best and see
what happens.
“So in a way there’s less pres-
sure at world champs than
even World Cup races, because
you’re not protecting some-
thing. But at the same time you
know it’s a big event, it’s the
one chance to go for gold.”
standing of English.
Mather said Kelenic and Gil-
bert would not start the sea-
son with the Mariners so the
club could have longer control
before the promising young
stars reached free agency. He
said another top prospect,
Julio Rodriguez, didn’t have
“tremendous” English and he
complained about the cost
associated with having an in-
terpreter for Japanese pitcher
Hisashi Iwakuma.
“Wonderful human being
— his English was terrible. He
wanted to get back into the
game, he came to us, we quite
frankly want him as our Asian
scout/interpreter, what’s going
on with the Japanese league.
He’s coming to spring train-
ing,” Mather said. “And I’m go-
ing to say, I’m tired of paying
his interpreter. When he was
a player, we’d pay Iwakuma
‘X,’ but we’d also have to pay
$75,000 a year to have an in-
terpreter with him. His English
suddenly got better. His En-
glish got better when we told
him that.”
The Major League Baseball
Players Association released a
statement Monday expressing
concern with the video.
“The club’s video presenta-
tion is a highly disturbing yet
critically important window
into how players are genuinely
viewed by management. Not
just because of what was said,
but also because it represents
an unfiltered look into club
thinking,” the statement read.
“It is offensive, and it is not
surprising that fans and others
around the game are offended
as well. Players remain com-
mitted to confronting these is-
sues at the bargaining table and
elsewhere.”
The video was another
transgression during Mather’s
tenure with the club, which
began in 1996. Mather was
promoted to CEO and team
president in 2017, but a year
later was trying to explain alle-
gations of harassment made by
two former female employees
— the former executive assis-
tants to Mather and then-Ex-
ecutive Vice President Bob
Aylward
The allegations were re-
vealed in a 2018 report by The
Seattle Times. The team said it
had “made amends” with those
employees. The claims dated
back to the late 2000s.
At the time, the club issued
statements saying an outside
expert conducted an investiga-
tion and “we imposed appro-
priate discipline, management
and sensitivity training, and
other corrective actions.”
The newspaper also re-
ported that there was another
settlement with a third woman,
who said she felt pressured
to kiss then-team President
Chuck Armstrong.
Mather said it was a hum-
bling experience for him to
“confront some unpleasant re-
alities” about himself. He took
responsibility for his actions
and apologized for behavior
that he described as intimidat-
ing, mean and inappropriate in
the workplace.
By Madalyn Aslan
Stars show the kind of day you’ll have
õ õ õ õ õ DYNAMIC | õ õ õ õ POSITIVE | õ õ õ AVERAGE | õ õ SO-SO | õ DIFFICULT
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR TUESDAY, FEB. 23, 2021: Realistic,
analytical and convincing, at heart you are a problem-solver. This year, by
preparing and being certain about details, you succeed tremendously with
a cutting edge project. More money comes in as well. If single, you need to
relax and have fun, but you become more devoted to finding your mate this
year. If attached, it must be romantic. This year, you and your partner travel.
CAPRICORN ensures your bliss.
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
õõõõ Today accents your home and family. Discussions revolve around
home improvements and decisions about your residence. Visitors suggest
interesting ideas and offer valuable insights during casual conversation.
Tonight: Prepare a house blessing and do a sage smudge with a family
member.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
õõõõ The pace is fast and somewhat hectic today and promises an in-
teresting schedule punctuated by numerous messages and outings. The
secret to juggling several ongoing projects successfully is organization.
Tonight: Stay informed. Different news will provide valuable perspectives
and insights.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
õõ Prepare for a financial roller coaster ride. Family members will require
help and extra assistance. Look for ways to reduce expenses related to hous-
ing. Don9t overextend yourself financially. Set funds aside to cover an unex-
pected expense. Tonight: A financial brainstorming session.
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
õõõõõ This is a great day to plan a journey, either for business or for
pleasure. Career prospects are brighter. Heed suggestions offered by others.
Communication with loved ones is pleasant and easy. You9re the center of
attention now. Tonight: All eyes are on you.
Mariners
Continued from A5
Mather issued an apology
late Sunday for his comments,
which were made Feb. 5 to the
Bellevue, Washington, Break-
fast Rotary Club and were
posted online over the week-
end.
The video posted by the
Rotary group was 46 minutes
long and touched on areas of
the Mariners’ organizational
situation going into the 2021
season — many of which Se-
attle’s front office would rather
not be made public.
“We have a lot of work to
do to make amends, and that
work is already underway,”
Stanton said.
Mather’s departure seemed
inevitable as the firestorm grew
over his statements, including
comments on the manipula-
tion of service time for some
top prospects — Jarred Kele-
nic and Logan Gilbert — and
insensitive comments about
international players’ under-
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
õõõ You will relish peace and privacy today. Examine the past if you would
know the future. During meditation you might be inspired to pursue charita-
ble work and a volunteer opportunity. Satisfaction comes from helping those
in need. Tonight: An early night9s sleep.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
õõõõõ Today brings supportive friendships your way. Seek a mentor to
help you select worthwhile goals. You are seeking guidance for practical help
in resolving problems. You receive an invitation to join a prestigious club or
organization. Tonight: Discuss with old colleagues.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
õõõõ Today brings pleasant opportunities to combine business with plea-
PLAY FOR FREE
ONLINE
sure. Ask co-workers for ideas and assistance. Others have plans in mind that
involve you. Maintain goodwill by cooperating and consulting. Tonight: Your
source of income goes through a shift. Be adaptable and economize.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
õõõõõ Today turns your attention toward distant shores and imported
items. You9ll tire of all that has become comfortable and familiar. A blockage
that has hampered your progress melts away. A goal is about to materialize.
Tonight: Catch up with friends far away.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
õõõõ Today emphasizes your casual friendships and career prospects.
Deep roots related to old times are stirring. Make the best of the situation
and enjoy the moment. Postpone taking on new projects, as they could
overwhelm you. Tonight: Intimacy in a relationship 4 pleasure or business
4 deepens.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
õõõõõ Teamwork, compromise and flexibility are important today. Part-
ners have strong feelings concerning plans and ideas they wish to discuss
with you. You make an important commitment. A sense of completion and
freedom surrounds you. Tonight: Listen to some of your very favorite music.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
õõõõ Listen carefully. Casual conversations or broadcasts about health
CROSSWORD • SUDOKU
WORD SEARCH
overheard coincidentally offer useful information. Keep up with regular med-
ical checkups. Make an appointment today if there is something overdue.
Tonight: Decisions might fall on you. Let others run the show.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
õõõõ Today emphasizes a nurturing and meaningful relationship. Share
time outdoors with the one you covet. This promises twists and turns for the
better in your relationship. Sudden meetings and partings also play a part in
today9s drama. Tonight: A relaxing soak in an herbal bath.
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