A6 The BulleTin • Friday, FeBruary 5, 2021
Motel
DEAR ABBY
Write to Dear Abby online at dearabby.com
or by mail at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069
Dear Abby: My sister
“Darby” and I are in our 20s
and confused about the rela-
tionship she is in. She’s 23 and
has been dating a 22-year-old
man. They fight a lot because
he can’t stop talking about
her ex-boyfriend. He says he
visualizes her having sex with
him, and is frustrated with
himself for not being able
to get the images out of his
head. Is there a name for this
particular problem, and how
can Darby work with it?
— Supportive Sis in the West
Dear Sis: Yes, actually,
there are two names for this
“condition.” They are obses-
sion and jealousy, and both
are signs of potential con-
trol issues. Stay close to your
sister and be there for her,
because this young man’s be-
havior is a red flag.
Darby and her boyfriend
are both adults. I assume nei-
ther came to the relationship
wrapped in cellophane. His
fixation should not be hers
(or yours) to fix. Because he
can’t get the images out of
his head, he should sched-
ule a few sessions with a li-
censed psychotherapist, since
his problem will continue
the longer he is in the dating
world.
Dear Abby: I moved in
with my boyfriend six years
ago. A year ago, his adult
daughter decided she would
have all her internet pur-
chases sent to his home.
Abby, these packages ar-
rive every day, all week long.
I’m tired of it. I think she’s a
spend-aholic.
I told him at the begin-
ning of our relationship that
I would never come between
him and his daughter. But it
has become a bit much. She
calls him for every little thing.
Now she has started asking
him to help with his grand-
daughter’s homework. I have
two adult children of my
own and grandchildren. Am
I overreacting? I’m ready to
move out and on.
— Over It and Out
Dear Over It: Before mov-
ing out and on, discuss this
with your boyfriend of six
years. His daughter seems to
be unusually dependent for
an adult. Is there a reason
why she’s doing these things?
Could she be fearful that the
packages she’s ordering could
be stolen from her porch?
Does her daughter need
more help academically than
she is able to provide? The
answers to those questions
could be enlightening. After
you get those answers, there
will be time to make a ratio-
nal (rather than emotional)
decision about the status of
the relationship you have
with her father.
Dear Abby: I am a 52-year-
old single, straight male. For
some reason, only men seem
to be attracted to me. If I sit at
a table in a restaurant or bar,
a man will come over and sit
next to me. If I go to the park,
a man will sit next to me on
the bench. Walking down the
street, random men approach
me. It’s terrible. I’m straight!
Please help!
— Unique Problem in California
Dear Unique Problem:
Because you’re not meeting
women, try to put yourself
in situations where you will
meet them. Because you are
consistently approached by
men and you’re not inter-
ested, consider asking them
if they have a female rela-
tive who’s single. And when
you encounter a woman you
think you can click with,
speak up and introduce your-
self.
Continued from A1
The city, as well as Bethle-
hem Inn, which would open a
shelter in Redmond, were two
of the 19 applicants chosen by
the foundation to move into
the second phase, Megan Loeb,
the program officer of the
community foundation, said in
a press conference Thursday.
Roughly 25 to 30 applications
from across the state have been
submitted, Loeb said, and ap-
plications will continue to be
accepted through Feb. 17. Ash-
land was the first city to offi-
cially receive grant money to
purchase a hotel on Thursday.
On Wednesday, the Bend
City Council voted to enter a
purchase and sale agreement
with the intention of trans-
forming the Old Mill & Suites
Motel at 904 SE Third St. into a
homeless shelter.
If granted the money, the
city will work with the non-
profit organization Neigh-
borImpact, along with other
homeless service providers,
to operate the shelter, Mayor
Sally Russel said in the meet-
ing Wednesday. The hotel has
64 rooms that could be turned
into transitional housing.
Councilor Melanie Kebler
said she was excited for the op-
portunity bring a new shelter
to Bend.
“I think this kind of shel-
ter space is something that we
really need, so I hope we can
move the project forward to
completion with the timeline
the state has given us,” Kebler
said Thursday.
When asked whether she
was concerned about push-
back from neighbors about the
homeless shelter, Kebler said the
key would be communication
about what this shelter will re-
ally mean to people. “It’s already
Parking
Continued from A1
YOUR HOROSCOPE
By Madalyn Aslan
Stars show the kind of day you’ll have
DYNAMIC | POSITIVE | AVERAGE | SO-SO | DIFFICULT
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR FRIDAY, FEB. 5, 2021: Insightful, multi-
faceted and quietly eloquent, you lend grace and poise to any endeavor. This
year, by working with others and giving them more patience, you succeed
admirably with two projects. If single, make your motives clearer to others.
You meet your special someone next January. If attached, there is a steady,
secure quality about your love, and this year you become even more at-
tached. GEMINI is the best team player.
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
If unable to vacation now, make plans for a future journey. It’s good
to daydream. You’ll be drawn to reading too and find pleasure frequenting
your favorite bookstore or library online. Be sensitive to messages from your
body. Tonight: Be good and gentle to yourself.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
You’re a little perplexed about the financial decisions and attitudes of
others. If you feel unsettled or disappointed about this, investigate a bit. Un-
derstanding can help. Expressing your deepest desires and passions can alter
your life now. Tonight: Think of long-range consequences.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
It’s a day to be realistic about relationships and commitments. Pull
away from links that inhibit or discourage you. Strengthen those which you
know have potential for the future. Tonight: Observe facial expressions and
body language to aid in communication.
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
Children surprise you with a display of kindness or creativity. This
benefits your health as it draws benevolent forces. You treat an old illness or
establish a more wholesome daily routine. Tonight: Pets are especially im-
portant. They provide a new level of comfort and companionship.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
Your social life is enlivened by invitations and visits. You impress
an admirer with a kind word or note. If you want to make gifts, try penning
an original story or poem. The day is relaxing and delightful. Tonight: Let the
good times roll on.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Today sees you looking for ways to improve and protect your home.
You will look critically at your residence. You add new members to your ex-
tended family and have a deepening of insight into your childhood. Tonight:
A move or a redecorating plan is irresistible.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Timely responses are appreciated by others. Reassuring words from
you assure security and goodwill. Keep up with prior commitments at work
to protect your credibility. Complete projects in progress before considering
new directions. Tonight: Answer old emails and calls first.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Your overall attitude toward money and material values is shifting.
There can be a new demand for your job skills. Explore employment possibil-
ities. Your enthusiasm and added energy make others turn to you for inspira-
tion and leadership. Tonight: Talk with an elderly family member.
In addition, Marx said he
does not expect the change to
affect many users because the
vast majority of the 547 park-
ing spaces are used by per-
mit holders who pay $40 per
month to park in the garage.
“The Centennial Garage is
mainly used by permit holders,
so we felt comfortable about
removing the three hours of
free parking,” Marx said.
Having free access to the
parking garage regularly drew
unsafe behaviors, Marx said.
Those behaviors escalated in
recent years, with large gath-
erings of cars revving their en-
gines and racing, while groups
of skateboarders interfered
with passing cars.
“It really doesn’t create a feel-
ing of safety for people who
want to park in a public space,”
Marx said.
Bend resident Tom Ham-
ilton, who has lived at the
nearby Putnam Pointe apart-
ments since they were built 12
years ago, said about 100 mo-
torists with custom exhaust
systems and high-pitched
mufflers come to the garage
each week to race. The racers,
mostly 18 to 25-year-old men,
come in shifts of eight to 10 ev-
ery hour from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m.
every night, Hamilton said.
“An innocent pedestrian
walking to their car in the ga-
rage after an evening in down-
town Bend is going to be tragi-
cally hit by one of these racers,”
Hamilton said. “Never mind
the noise these cars routinely
generate, somebody is going to
get seriously hurt.”
Olivia Wilson, a local artist
who also lives in the Putnam
Pointe apartments, said she is
bothered by the behavior of the
skateboarders more than the
racers. Wilson said she’s wit-
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Your confident and dramatic way of expressing ideas wins you
supporters. It’s a marvelous day to write emails and make calls. Your efforts at
sales, public speaking or acting succeed far beyond all expectations. Tonight:
Catch up with old loved ones.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Today brings a rare opportunity to adjust the decisions and actions
linked to the past, as it ties to the closure of old relationships. Meditate sitting
on the ground or braced against a tree. Tonight: Inner healing and a sense of
peace are generated.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Friendly calls and emails come in from old friends. Your keen in-
tuition assists in negotiating and sales. Those who have resisted your ideas
can be won over to respond more favorably. Today also allows you to release
regrets concerning a long-lost love. Tonight: Relief.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Success depends upon being realistic about what you can do. Prepa-
ration and the wise management of time are a must. Put business first and
double-check details to assure career stability. Tonight: Just be conscientious
about responsibilities and remain alert as well as flexible.
New Sewing
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BACK TO REGULAR
STORE HOURS!
Tuesday-Friday
9:30am-5pm
Saturday
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1245 SE 3rd Street, Suite B-1
541-383-1999
cscbend.com
Ryan Brennecke/The Bulletin
The exterior of Old Mill & Suites Motel in Bend.
been a hotel. It’s already been a
place where people stayed tem-
porarily. … The use of it is not
going to be that different,” she
said. “It’s just going to be allow-
ing people to have free shelter
on that temporary basis.”
The city now must do an en-
vironmental review and eval-
uate the property to make sure
it is suitable to be a homeless
shelter, as well as do the land
use paperwork to change the
use for the building, said Caro-
lyn Eagan, the city’s economic
development director.
Bend’s code also needs to be
amended to allow this project.
Currently, there is a no provi-
sion that allows a transitional
shelter site in the commercial
zones along Third Street with-
out requiring a conditional use
permit, which takes more time
and money to process, accord-
ing to a press release from the
city.
In this process, there will
be an appraisal that will de-
cide the price of the building,
though the purchase and sale
agreement specifies the sale
will not exceed $5 million.
Gwenn Wysling, the execu-
tive director of Bethlehem Inn,
told The Bulletin on Tuesday
that the application also had
moved forward past the first
phase. Wysling said the organi-
zation has identified a property
that is currently being used as a
hotel, but would not name the
hotel to protect the privacy of
the owner.
Wysling said she is excited
and grateful for the opportu-
nity, given how much demand
there is for shelter beds, coupled
with the fact there are no formal
shelter beds outside of Bend.
“It’s why we expanded the
Bend campus in the first place,
and why we felt an additional
campus in Redmond was
needed,” Wysling said.
The organization hopes to
evaluate the property and get
an appraisal in the next six
weeks. The hope would be to
buy the property in time to line
up with the closing of Bend’s
warming shelter.
“Knowing that there are a
couple of (shelter) possibilities
in Central Oregon is exciting,”
she said.
The Oregon Community
Foundation will make the final
decision as to whether to grant
the city or Bethlehem Inn the
money for the purchase so the
money can be allocated and
spent by June 30, Loeb, with
the community foundation,
said Thursday. The foundation
will be considering distribu-
tion around the state, looking
at rates of homelessness in an
area, and evaluating the num-
ber of shelter beds as factors
for which applications will be
given grant money.
nessed skateboarders throwing
two-liter Coke bottles at pass-
ing cars and loudly skating on
the concrete late into the night.
One skateboarder threat-
ened her after she asked them
to stop and go skate some-
where else, she said.
“When one of them threat-
ens to kill me, I definitely don’t
feel safe,” Wilson said.
Wilson feels the city is tak-
ing her concerns seriously. She
hopes the new gate will deter
the skateboarders, but she isn’t
convinced it will completely
keep them away.
“I do think it will mitigate
the cars and the large group of
people that come to hang out,”
she said. “ I don’t know what it
will do about skateboarders.”
Starting next week, those
who want to park in the down-
town garage can either take a
ticket at the entrance or reg-
ister on a mobile application.
Instructions to pay for parking
through the mobile app or af-
ter taking a paper ticket will be
posted in the parking garage.
Marx said the city is working
with downtown business own-
ers to create a parking valida-
tion program so they can offer
free parking to their customers.
“With that, we hope we can
show business we still have
them in mind,” Marx said.
Mindy Aisling, executive di-
rector of the Downtown Bend
Business Association, said her
organization worked closely
with the city to develop the
parking changes.
“We believe that the data
supports the need for these
changes, and we are grateful
for these positive develop-
ments to downtown parking,”
Aisling said. “Additionally,
we’re excited to work with our
local businesses to roll out the
new parking validation pro-
gram, which we are sure will be
a success.”
Duncan McGeary, owner
of Pegasus Books of Bend on
Minnesota Avenue, questions
why eliminating the free park-
ing in the garage is necessary.
McGeary, whose store is a
block away from the parking
garage, said he’d like to hear
more from concerned resi-
dents about the noise and trou-
ble in the garage. He can hear
the revving engines and skate-
boarders but they seem more
like a nuisance than a serious,
criminal problem, he said.
“This is an overreaction to a
nuisance,” McGeary said. “But
I’m certainly willing to listen to
the other side on this.”
McGeary, whose store has
been open downtown for the
past four decades, said parking
changes always seem to con-
fuse customers. He worries the
latest changes could have the
same effect, and possibly make
some customers feel unwel-
come downtown.
“You don’t want to confuse
customers,” he said. “You want it
to be easy and straightforward.”
e
e
Reporter: 541-633-2160,
bvisser@bendbulletin.com
Reporter: 541-617-7820,
kspurr@bendbulletin.com
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