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About The Bend bulletin. (Bend, Or.) 1903-1931 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 9, 1914)
THR nRNI DUI.LKT1N, BKNI), OUR., WKONKHDAY, HKITHMIlt'.H t, IBM.
KNOW JOLES IS
yoke Nntiiro Man Appears llcforo
KxciirsloulstN Near Ijiva ltutto nml
Draw Iiuglitcr Una Tnmo
Uroun Hcnr In Tow Also.
Btrennm, nnd wHTt & llttlo iloxtorlty
It la winy to extract butter from ilio
A ilawn today I surprised n trout
rising from tho bod of n Btroiuu, nttor
nil his cotnpnnlons had gona to
school. I tickled htm to death. AN
tor wolRhlnR him on hU Rentes 1 mndo
n titiK of his skin to hold my nntcty
rnxor nnd Jowolry.
When tho car containing tho ex
cursionists approached Lava Ilutto
Monday afternoon they encountered
two huRo slRns, ono marked "Know
Joles First Camp," nnd tho other tho
second camp. At tho second sign tho
party halted nnd In duo course Joles
appeared, clad fantastically In furs,
silk hat, rubber boots and minor
trimmings such ns cuffs and n garter.
Ho led n'f&ko bear, beneath whose
brown skin was recognlxablo Jack
Jolca drew a lot of laughter anil
created much fun. Tho moving pic
ture man had him pose for many
feet of film. Tho "Josh" was nrosent
cu wttn such entire Rood nature that
thoro was no chance for tlioao Inter
ested In tho real Knowlcn to take of
fense, ns tho burlesque was staged
simply to add to tho gaiety of tho
In tho "Jack Rabbit," appeared tho
following story from Joles, written,
presumably, beforo ho left tho tall
irr know joiiics.
(Special to Tho Jackrabblt.)
-GAMP HUNCOMUE, Sept. C
Welcomo to llend, fellow fakers! My
heart goes out to you, brothers hi a
great profession! I would that I
were to greet you, and to urgo you,
ns one adman to another, to stick to
gether. Wo must co-operate. Wo
must unionize If wo hang together
we can fool all tho people all tho
time. Instead of Just somo of them
some of the time.
Tomorrow morning, as you road
this, I shall bo ending my remark
able nature test. I havo lived for
ten days In tho wilds by my wits, and
1 havo survived. 1 went In naked" An i
have demonstrated that clothes do
not make tho man.
HOW UK KlI.liKD THK
DRKU AND 1UH1CAT
(From Jolo's Diary.)
Yesterday, 1 left Uend, naked. To.
day I nm ucntly. thouBh not gaudily
clad In furs. My slnowy musoles and
rich brown Bkln nro now covered b
tho hides of a deer nnd n bobcat. In
securing them I have mado good my
boast that I can get tho hldo of any
Uilng Hint hides nnd nm n master of
the skin gnmo.
It was easy to kill tho deer. I spied
him resting In n stronm bod. Hark
ing gently like n siunll troo 1 ap
proached. I was In my baro skin, co
I too, resembled a wild thing. When
In striking distance I abandoned my
cautious tactlca and boldly rushed
forward, nnd beforo tho buck roallxod
Ita dnngor tho llttlo spongo soaked
in chloroform was pressed to his no,
trlls ns I slexed his loft ear betweon
my thumb and forefinger. Ho shriek
ed twice, plaintively, like n sea otter,
and then expired at my foot. Ab
soon as I could restrain my emotions
1 removed his, skin and made a sheath
gown of It. Later tho venison, broil
cd by my Jap cook over tho electric
range at my humblo cabin was most
Condensed Milk Too Much.
Capturing the bobcat taxed my
powors further, however. Tho cat
was tracking a ground molo when 1
encountored him. Usually when
caught In his tracks n cat will tly
at the hunter, nnd I was prepared to
hypnotlso him, when to my astonish
ment ho simply spit nt mo. Hut I
wns proparcd for any emergency, nud
without hesitation produced n saucer
of rich cream, while calling "Pussy,
Pussy," In a tono of authority. Hut
ho was too suspicious to coino while
I hold tho sahcer, so I placed It on
the ground. As I withdrew tho bob
cat advanced and lapped nt tho
cream. It was his last 'lap; the
dreadful tragedy was enacted In n
few seconds. For the saucer did not
contain cream at nil It was simply
condensed milk! The surprlso took
the poor animal so completely off bis
guard that I was able to creep up to
him, shcltorcd by an Improvised blind
of catnip and end his agony.
WEALTH A HANDICAP.
Ono of tho greatest handicap
tlint somo young men hnve In
the outset of their career Is the
possession of nn Income which
will relieve them of tho neces
sity of Independently earning
their own livelihood, Thla r.
moves n great Incentive for en
deavor urnl l n decided disad
vantage. For that reason I
hnve always had n considerable
sympathy for the sous of rich
men. They nre seriously handi
capped in Itfo unless they nro
youiiK ineif of exceptionally
high character and Imbued with
lofty aspirations. John Hays
THE LIFE CAREER
"Schooling In jroulb thoulJ lnrlMj b
dlftld to pifimtt tran In Iht tell w
M thr tatl ttinniil octuiulUm fix which
b U tpblt''-rttH(liitC VV HIM,
ThK l the. Mlmlnn of ths
1 li ll 1
Keeps Your Liver Healthily Active.
A men in Kentucky Just told a
friend that Foloy Cr.thartlc Tablets
wero the most wondorful medicine
Um. K . 1 .. nnM H .1 t.1. .. ...
nm vo.i win . , .,w, nu """ unu "r U",IUU iu"i.
,.',,' i:.i" A": ,, , Said ho woud not be w Moat Uiem.
upl I nm leaving Camp Huncomlio vi,.- ...m .. if .. 1...1 .....
Mnn.lnv mnrnlmr nn.l will ?'V." "- " J"" " ""
tneu mem. a tnorougn cleansing
easly Monday moraine-, and wilt
make unotber camp whero I shall re
ceive you In tho afternoon. You will
recognize mo at onco: men of yonr
calling will know a fako when they
I am greatly dlsannolnted that Jan
Knowle did not accompany you, as I
1 nao. wircu mm urgently to come,
so that wo could place our rival
claims beforo you. Dut Knowlcs
evidently Bcented trouulo and refused
my challenge. However, that will
make my position all tho firmer.
'Word comes to me that I have
been subjected to criticism by my
enemies on grounds of morality. In
an account appearing in the Oregon
Journal Thursday I stated that 1
slept at the foot of one of the Three
8lstcra. My critics seek to make
capital of that frank admission, but
I cast their slurs in their faces. As
goes the well known French proverb,
"Honey swats who mally panu,
which being translated means "Don't
dreaa in a glass house without blow
ing out tho light."
Tho pictures which I enclose tell
the story of my great combat with
nature, and prove beyond doubt all
' Tho first Shows me as I entered the
wilderness. I had started strictly al
fresco, but Mayor Miller of Bend
compelled me to don the sagebrush
union suit which hides much of my
graceful form In tho photograph. In
this picture I am eagerly watching
the mad flight of a savage humming
bird, which later 1 ran down.
i Tie second photograph was taken
at the end of my first eventful day in
the wilds. The story of that day al
ready has appeared In tho Oregon
Journal, and has been spoken for by
the Encyclopaedia Dotannlcua. In
this picture I wear the bob-cat and
ifler hides, and carry the megallthic
club with which I brained a bullfrog.
The third photo shows me in ac
tion. I am terrible In action. I have
to be alone In the wilderness,
everything depends upon action my
moving picture man Insists on It.
Dut the fourth picture is the prido
of the collection. It shows the fruit
of my labors, The silk hat I created
from silk worms, which abound In
wormwood, and I lined It with tnpo
worms discovered In tho animals I
killed. The skin is from a lenr I
chloroformed, who also gave ran tun
cuffs before I overpowered him, and
the garter which I secured from a
pink garter snake. The boots were
mado from rubber plants.
And speaking of pictures, that re
minds roe that my rival, Knowlcs,
claims to have painted a masterpiece
while In the wilderness. Dut he has
nothing pn me. For while I myself
had nothing on, I, too, have made a
picture that art connolseurs declare
to be in a cla&s by Itself. It Is exe
cuted on canvas, which I secured
from a canvaa back duck, and done
with a hair brush made from a hare.
The title Is "An Adman at Ease,"
and showB an Adman lying easily.
The painting follows the cubist stylo,
I have been asked what clothing
1 preferred when alono with nature.
Of course I did not wear my elabor
ate skin suits all the time, as they
are both cumbersome and too showy.
My negllgeo has consisted of a leaf,
and as occasion required I have turn
ed, over a new leaf.
l .Getting a well balanced diet Is no
..problem at all. For instauce, my
junch consisted of acorn on the cob.
Then there are currents from tho
cathartic for chronic constipation or
for an occasional purge. Patterson
Drug Co. Adv.
I'ettr th Lord, but love blui
nlso. for four only rrstrnlinr n
man front sin, while love ntlmu
late blui to good.
The xrfcctlon of tho Ixxly Is n
nmwnry antecedent to the per
fectlon of the soul, for health
Ik tho key that unlocks tho In
Measure your words, for the
.more your words tho more your
errors. Ask for explanations of
what you do not unuerxtaml. but
let It bo tlonu nt a fitting mo
ment nnd In fitting language.
Keep firmly to your word. Let
not a legal contract or witness bo
more binding than your verbal
promise oven privately made.
Knt not excessively or raven
ously. From n man's behavior
nt a public meal you can dis
cern his character.
The total ubstlnencafrora wlno
Is good, but I will not lay this
on you as nn injunction. Yet
break wlue'a ower with wnter
and drink It for nourishment,
hot for mere enjoyment.
Drvs.1 ns well as your meant
will allow, but spend on food
les than you enn afford.
Honor your wives, .for they are
your honor. Withhold not dis
cipline from them nnd let them
not rule' over you.
Pnryhth School Year Opens
SEPTEHBER 18th, 1914
Wtlte (or llluMi.itfd IOo-purs Hook
let, "THU I.IPli CAHIil'H," and lot Csta
log fiuiUlnlnn lull InfottiMtloii
litRft fttNiui- AORICUI MIP.B t
Agronomy, Animal lludMiidry,DMlry Hus
bandry. Poultry Husbandry, Horticulture.
Agriculture (or TmcIihs. POHhsrRV,
LOtltllNr) l.'NOINIirMNO. IIOMH ECO
NOMICS) Domestic Science. DomrMlcAtt,
l-NGINtliHINd! hlctrlcl, Irrigation,
Highway, Mrchnnkal, Chemical. Mining,
Ceramics. COMMliKCH. I'HAKAtAGY.
I'fU-alhnal Counts- Agriculture, Dairy
ing. Home Maker! Course, Induttrul
Arts, l-orestrv, Huslnr Short Course.
&itvt of ,Vusi(-.Vliuo, String, Hand,
Ftiirari Binint" Oxw by Mill Fr
AdJltM THK HKUISTNAH,
(tw.T.1MM) CorUL, OtfOn
IMMI1III 1 111 ti Ull III .L-11 !
"How's your ploy V
A great sucwiw. Aly creditors nre
all coinlnc to If I nm making
money, and through their patronage I
am." Seattle Pot-Intelligencer.
Trent your friend as you do your
bank ncrmiut. Don't Do reckless with
them Just brcniittv yuTro Kt them.
Detroit Free I'rvioi.
U. 8. Separators and milk cans,
Skusu Hardware Company. -Adv.
Kofrosh yourBolf with a cold drink.
Full pints at C and 10 cents. Ameri
can Hnkory. Adv. 22tf
Many flshormon are putting tho
heads and entrails of trout thoy clean
Into tho rivers and lakes. This 's
ngalnst tho law, and Is really n vorv
bad practlco as It makes tho wator
Impure. All sportsmen are requested
to co-opcrato to stop this practlco.
CLYDE McKAY. Dlst. Gamo Wardon.
Ono cent n word la nil n llttlo wnnt
Ad will cost you.
Chlnn and glassware. Skuso Hard
ware Compnny. Adv.
Coit Kept Down Quality Kept Up.
No better inwllclno could be mr.ilo
for coughs, colds, croup, hcarsenoss,
tickling throat, bronchitis, etc., than
Foley's Honey nud Tar Couiiound.
That's why thoy can't Improve tho
quality, and wnr or no war. the price
remains tho same. No oph.trM. Don't
tnko substitute, for Foley's llonoy
nnd Tar Is tho host. Pnttersou Dru,r
Am I My
Yes! You Are
Provided ho Is addicted to liquor
TO VOTE OREGON DRY:
332 B YES
enness has decreased
In ratio of six to ono
since tho town went
Is far better than when
tho town was wet,
three leading mer
I'I1 Aiirtrtlttment by CommlttM 0 f)n llumlml
?M Mur n Itulldlou, Pixtlaod, Orrfott
HICJ.N8 FOlt KALK.
"For Itent," "For Hale," "Itooina
to Ik-1", "Housekeeping Hooum," "No
Admittance," "No Smoking," etc.,
etc., I'lncnnl printed In large type
on heavy brlntol Ixmrtl, !.! rent card,
lews In quniitlllc. llultefln Olllce. 12tf
Give you all of the good
and none of the bad effedts
of coffee. They eliminate
the poison and make coffee
PURE and WHOLESOME
, 1 1 , ,1 n I 1 1 11 I w
The ELECTRIC TOAST
ER makes ideal toast. We
have a few at $2,50
he BEND WATER LIGHT
(3b POWER CO.
I linvo liullt every brick 4ioiMe In Hem! rrrctcil by
WOIIK THK IIIIST.
l'lllt'HH THK MWKST.
HATIKFAOTION AHHOLLTKLY (HrAIIA.VTKKD.
SAND FOR SALE
Tlio bent obtalniiblo nt tho lowest prlr- In large or
I lmo tlm cvrliilve prlvllegcM for snnil In nil O, (.
I. Company ditches.
extends to you n cordial invitation to
make this hotel your headquarters.
THOROUGHLY RENOVATED AND REFITTED.
Rooms without bath $1.00 nnd up. Rooms
with private hath $1.50 and up. LOCA
TION CENTRAL. BEST of SERVICE.
A RESTAURANT- WITH FOOD AND PRICES RIGHT.
C. H. SHAFER, Manager
The Miller Lumber Company
Wenandy Livery & AittoCo.
NEW AUTO TRUCKS
Will bo put on between Bend nnd Silver Loko April 1.
DEND-LA PINE $2.G0
HEND.F0RT ROCK $4.G0
BEND-SILVER LAKE.. $5,00
will bo charged on all Express and Baggage.