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About The Bend bulletin. (Bend, Or.) 1903-1931 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 6, 1914)
Advertising Feud Is Explained
Difficulties of Portland Papers Entirely Due to Gen-
erous Natures of Their Ad Managers
fly W, J. llofnian.
1 havojong desired opportunity to
clear- my mind of an unjust public
opinion 'directed against mo. I havo
licon credited with having nttomptod
to keep 'the Oregon Dally Journal
from obtaining advertising. This b
not truo Any words I may Imvo us
ed in Addressing advertisers were
not, as hgs been charged, vindications
ot tho Journal, but meroly profession
nllsms Intended to make Messrs. Pit
tock nhd Mordon believe I was work
ing my djtrndest for their Choap
Morning .Squeak. As n matter of tact
lly THOMAS J. MUM.1N.
As I was not called upon to make
n speech at Rend I am glad tho pop
producer of Tho Jack Rabbit has In
vited mo to publish without charge,
beyond tho drinks and cigars for tho
staff, any thoughts I might havo. 1
thank him for believing that I havo
any thoughts. As l look romlnls
contly Into tho roseato past I discover
that to furnish mo an nura of purring
contontcdncss and rely on my con
sclenco l must mention tho Oregon
Ian. Tho duel betweon V. J. Hottnnn
and niyaolf was not because I wanted
all tho county advertising but because
I wanted him to nave all or it, nail
I tin InuUtml lilwtt 1 1 1 I ) I n t fitnt 1 4a
1 have labored hard for tho Journal. " , B'hollIll bavo been more
1 assumed the awful burden as Chief j Rencrous. 1 found myself thrusting
It of tho Holsterlng Hosottes solely j out my Jaw to n prominent angle, lot
that tho Journal might mako Impor- ting my ordinarily ini'd blue eyes
tant uso ot my dlstlngitlsiied namo lit ' blnxo monaclngly, and paying buck
Its important columns and thereby I nasty things as that he should know
gain standing. If I havo put my llfo a. better than to try to Impoverish his
unearned incroment Into n costly splendid publication by dlvortlng nit
electrical, burglar alarm system at. the really cash business to tho paper
my iium.u if whs nut irmii ivur. nut cuiiuiiuiiwij nuunit uo mu .tfiuiuiiy.
In order that It any friend of the Dlseaso which" I represent. So far as
Journal camo to see me lato at night I am concerned there Is the boat of
I would he. Instantly notified and thus ' feeling between us and Fred Johnson
Immediately begin to sing tho praises has agreed to nrbltrato any more of
of that powerful paper. My well . our friendly difference, taking as
known reputation for sincerity, truth ' feo any business that may be In dls
npd voracity will 1 know support this . pute for tho Telegram, sometimes
Btatemont. wrongfully called the Portland Josh.
THE GUY WHO STAYED, AT HOME
culoalF, ringworm and pip."
"May hero a whllo and It
do your llvor good."
"After six weeks you won't noail
a liver. You can feed (t to tho dog."
"I know one guy who gained ton
pounds Just riding through town
ho camo In to buy groceries."
"tho ilea in rate in iiomi is so
i f Vdm V
f . mr
II. W. Mutant) r reads his hlhl
every night before retiring. I,at
mirni nit iiiflii,vi.&iii mi, in ..wii-uri ,tr
small that tho undertaker starved
to death and there wns uolioily t.
bury him; so ho dried up and tho
wind blow him uwny."
"Never had an epidemic In town
"Hill Adams came to llaml with
all tho load .nickel und plugged
dimes ho has taken In since he waa
elected to olllco. lie expects to tin
that ho has already borrowed $00
which the porter iniuln In tips off of
Walter. Klch,eow tfy 'M'ob'frAT
ikluson hud Wullor Cluild.
Mmury Oliustcitd who, got crniy
with tho heat when ho wan elected n i
the Hoard of (Inventors of tho lit in
ltoso Festival nnd gave tho llmtrd
about $1,000 worth of olllco rent for
nothing, has boon sent out In llond
by tho owners of the building so mi
to lot tho cool, Invigorating nlr blow
ncross his brow nnd bring him back
to normal. lie executed another
coup do miixumii Just before leaving
homo, llo oxtrnotcd thn 20 for the
excursion nut of tho safe whllo the
directors worn out to lunch and (hen
nsked tho board to declare a mora
torium. This will enable ICtuerv In
hold nut tho "twenty" till ho guts It In
noxt pay check.
"Considering every lli'ng. tne n
n olinnce to pick up it little morn loomi
change over here. Tho hoys lino
.terot()rn ynrkd nut. IJia. folhnvjng
HOW' scale' or prices for nil iiliihlcul
entertainments In tho future,
Holes advanced from nothing to fin.
Duels advanced from nothing lo H.).
Quartettes advanced from nothing
to . k 1 flu.
1'uooruH, olio verso, solo
advanced from nothing to . . . So.
KnrornM, two verses, solo
advuiicod from nothing to . . Ho.
KncoreM, one vomo, qunrKittcsi solo.
advanced from nothing to ... Da,
Kncores, 2 versus, solo,
advanced from nothing to ,.,18n,
Tho old scale will apply while thn
boys aro In llond, hut not olsewhero.
W. J. Ilormnn Is getting light mid
hiiliMicnilod trvlug to Dnd some ox
cuse for railing advertising ral
during tint war but ho says It Is an
(deleted iy ceusori t-
nuclnt sltuallon looks very much all get auybodv (o advertise In tho Ora-y
right." dnnlared Hanker Olmstend to'gcnlnn that ho Is afraid (o lake the
since I-rank McCrlllls brought tlm, lwill ,h6 jUIIK ou l)cul m.rcintu who
lrst 1-ortl here: row ovorybody hu;Rr lorttiy wnrnod to look out for
out. but thoy ilon t Inst long. BrSB upholstorwl gent with a heavy
"Fiimi flahluR In the world right overhang welMlnod with ooln.
hero In Hond: have to lock the dootsj citatlio Her tipped tho port.r
"J ."'. .. . ' "" r. """.tour nits and tlio smoke came ick
sneaking In the house mid eating up
(5 Lqvu -
r i ipk Yt
Tho editors desire to apologize for
the way tho obovo cut Is drawn.
Those guys up on tho tablo aro
doubled up llko a mess ot green cu
cumbers or sour apples and tho draw
ing was made before tho Portlandoro
had had a chance to stick their foil
under the various feital boards scat
tered all around Crook county from
Hcnd to Sisters and Tumclo and bask
The "Jackrabblt" will glvo a To
ward of 20 round Iron men to anv
Portland visitor who can bend that
far backward after having had "threo
squares" with our hosts.
The cut Is merely put In as a tok
en of hospitality at being allowed to
bust a few buttons off our walct
bands at'meal times.
00G WIMGOMBE IN
8a)s Smith Lured Him Hut to No
Doc Wlthyconibe was on the sta
tion platform this morning when the
Portland-Header train whistled in.
As bo shook hands all around, con
stituting himself a moving reception
lino and welcoming them all to "his
city," it was the general conclusion
that he had come to stay, but sud
denly be swung aboard tho down
"Doc. alnt you go in' to stay?''
wept the excursionists.
"Sssh, hist, halt, listen," he ex
I got in ahead of Doc. Smith. Ho
found me here, lie Invited mo to
get in his car and ride down through
the country with me. 1 knew he had
treacherous designs upon my cam
paign, so I gave him a Judas kiss anl
left. Whllo he was putting In his
time at the Alphonse-Gaston turn I
was sewing all the crooked votes of
Crook and Dent! in my sack and now
I'm on my way."
(Paid Adv. by C. C. Chapman.)
DOG SMITH SHELLS
OUT FOB PUBLICITY
Democratic Candidate Says Coyotes
Dr. C. J. Smith, who :s a candi
date for governor temporarily resid
ing in Head, has requested the edi
tor In chler to give him a little
"You'd bettor be careful about go
Ins to Slaters," quoth the doc-go?,
"I was over there lest night and they
told mo there were a lot ot danger,
oils coyotes killing tho bears and
bulls whether from Portland or .he
"Rut we observe you got ba?"t
uneaten," came the witty retort from
the cub reporter.
Just then a youngster came parad
ing by proudly dragging the dead
bodv ot a coyote.
"Yes, and you eeo what 1 did to
'em." exclaimed the former presi
dent of tho Pendleton school board
and tho state board of health as
quick as a (lash, or, at least, he says
It was quick as a flash. "And. that;"
he continued, quoting himself, "la
how all my opponents will look after
(Paid Advertisement by C. J. Smith.)
N .1 J VI V
AT TIIK TILLKK
Tho forenoon cruise taken by the
newspaper men was conducted by n
old sea salt named "Harney Oldfleld"
Kerrell, sometimes called "Doc"
no relation to Yak. Harney had many
opportunities to drum up buslncsi
for himself by smearing up old wom
en and children walking along tho
dusty road but he never hit anything.
In fact ho controlled his highly cour
teous and sociable donkoy engine
with great finesse. As a result, tho
hoys were enabled to enjoy tho scen
ory and absorb tho five or six cold
bottles which George Palmer Putnam
had thoughtfully concoaled In the
tonneau before starting out. "Doc"
got lost several times but it turned
out luckily, after all, because ha wns
ablo to succor sevon straggling Ad
Clubbers, with one or two bottles,
aftor thoy had walked about olovon
miles following a cad accident in
which their tuborcular gas burnc
coughed a couple of times, curled up
and died on tho sldo of a hilt. "Dos"
and C. 8. Hudson, tho bank chauffeur,
brought tho derelicts back to civili
zation and the boys expect to mem
orialize Congress vlth a petition urg
ing that "Doc" be brevetted with tht
title of Colonel of tho Donkey-engine
"Illlili" CAN "HIIUFF" HOMK.
"Hilly" Staats drovo the news
papermen home from tho Tumalo
Project In bis little old loft-handed,
animated cock-roach end he certain
ly knows how to "snuff." Ilia speed,
orneter locks at 300 mllos en hour 30
the boys didn't know Just how fait
they camo In hut Wrecks Lampman
said It would suro make tho light
ning core to sco "Hill" lit action.
That little stump-puller of hla grub
bed out about seven acres of yellow
pine stumps, cleared a quarter sec
tion of Juniper roots, stacked 18 or
20 sling loads or lurabor down in
the yards, scattered a six-carload o .'
dor of green burned brick all over
the landscape and scattered tho
Deschutes river out of Its bed only
because he had to throw her Into tho
intermediate to make tho hill. Af
tor dropping the boys oft at tho'
"Jackrabblt" office, "Hill" apolozlz
ed for the bad condition of tho roada
which prevented him from letting
Doc. Hreltllng said tho sumo thing
nnd didn't glvo ua nnr cigar or oftar)
iu miy us a uruiK, so woo a. name win
not appear in our valuable paper.
I.ooIc liamlg had a sttmiach aotte
last week, but he doetnrod It up Iu
tlmo to eat anything our hosts may
have to offer In tho way of sustenance.
poitTi.vi iwi'i'ius co.Mni.vi-:
IX KKSTltAIXT OF WAU XKWS
(Special to tho Jackrabblt.)
PORTLAND. Sept. (!. For tho
convenience of their readers the Port
land papers have adopted a standard
form for liattln news from Kuropn.
It will bo nltorod In each edition 1 1
bult tho desires of readers.
"Paris, or Hrussols. or Herlln, (as
tho caso may bo). Another notable
victory over tho enemy was scored
by a French (or Belgium or Qermnn)
infantry regiment at a point some
where between Iceland nnd Slollv,
Our troops wero outnumbered four
to one. but our guns carried four
tlmos as fas as tho onomy's artlllo.-y
nnd fired four times ns fast. Thov
retired with n loss or six thousand
men. Our own lotses nro thrco man
killed and seven wounded, owing en
tirely to rovoltlng troachory on the
part or tho enemy. Aftor a desper
ato encounter the country was cloar
ed of tho enemy. Prisoners report
that tho enemy han no stomach for
fighting. Hrldgcs thrown across tho
river wero repeatedly shattorod hv
our artillery. Thin makes our vic
tory over the enemy twenty mil
this side or tho river all tho more re
markable Maneuvering skillfully
between a mountain and a rlvor, both
of which, wo assure our rcadors, nro
to bo found In any respectable atlas,
our men mnde repeated chargos
through the corn-flolds and well be
yond Into tho vineyards which recur
at regular Intervals between Rotter
dam and Lisbon. Similar victorias
aro reported from along the entlro
front, which wo cyi go so far as to
say Is facing tho enemy without vei
tttrlng to specify whoro tho enemy
and klckod and said tha half dollar
didn't have no hawk on one side.
Herg took the 60 cunts boek and gnvt
tho dingo two lend quartern.
11. J. Hlneslng runs a large poul
try much out nonr ltoso City Park,
llo has (SO chtokoiis and only gels ft 'J
eggs a day Tho othar chicken Is hit
Foreign exchange Is still uncortaln.
Fred Ijirson traded a suburban lot
last week to Otis Kutiti for n suit or
' After I.. II. Whaaler had acquired
several cool millions he suddenly
started to bum thum up buying a
O. C. llortimorer says his hank in
receiving augur, limn, bacon and Im
ported choose ns deposits In the sav
ings department. Just like real mon
ey, nnd Is getting rich at II.
"Cltct" Whltemoro tried lo go"
several of tho boys Into a Kkor gatnn
during tho trip so as to defray hla
expenses for tho Junket. He had very
little success and It Is understood
I WOl'M) of comi: IF I
haixt kut i.v a i.hhtm:
(I.UIK O" DOMIXOCH lS'
The Jackrabbit's Friend
IIKARD OX TODAY'S TIUP,
"Ain't the air great'"
"Orcat country for asthma, tuber-
tho llnnuclnl editor. "I hopo to re
port the nltiiHtlott ovon more pnimb
lug ortor I have gotten n little bnltr
acquainted -with 'Doe' Coo and some
or the other tntay unsocial msrxs in
"Hob" 8cnnter la not so Oermnn
ns his nnmo looks, llo will take snv
kind ot money Just ho It draws hilar
est, war or no war.
JiiiIro "Hill" CtilvtK. tba dirt e
pnrt of thn Southern Pacific la ready
to Unlit at the drop of tho list, on
either side and at a momwiit notice,
llo prefers l lake mi the two gov
thst got on each )) of Ills brtli In
tho sleeper last night and atmriHl lu
all modern laiguagea all the w.o
from tho mouth f tho Deschutes to
the yard limits of Hend.
Jlinmto Dunn haau't said much
about where he stands lu th grout
struggle on tlm ntlnf sld of the big
drink. "War Is nothing hut. a shell
game, according to nil reHirts I bnvn
road, ho remarked voarliy. last
night as ho ilruw on his mauve paj
amas. Olto Metchnn. a charity Inmate at
the Imperial Hotel, was aakod to con
tribute something to the relief or
suffering eltlarna of Parts, by the Na
tional lied Cross Society and lit at
once sent four tons of Purls grn
by imrsol HMt, prHtld, and announc
ed that If any morn was naoded liw
knew where ho could get It and ad
vised the Hod Cross people to smrn
no oxponso to wh that the proper
people got the stuff.
Dave MoMftohn says ha Is ready
to rally to tho colors as soon ss he
ran get some niado. He any there aro
none In stock Just now hut he under
stands tho United States Treasury Is
about to Issue another largo supply
of his natlonnl Hints.
Harvey O'Hrjan has asked the neu
tral ik wers for an old age pension,
his young son ICrneat having saved a
human llfo. and Harvey has talkn.l
himself to permanent total disability
Julius Meier nnd Aaron Frnnk nro
sore becnuso they nro not In Patis
at the present moment. "I consider
there Is tlm best plane In tlm world
for holding one or our ovor-npiilr
Removal Kales,' " explained Julius
biting oft another Mimar-nall.
"Doe" Kmerton, M. I.. Ilowmsn,
II. 0. Whip nnd X. A. Hoose nro
greatly elated over one of the pecul
iar turns tho war has taken. It has
developed thnt- when the nations at
war culled for resort nt, nearly a!l
tho opera stars and musical artists
wore Included and that removes so
much competition that them will ha
PICKRI,i:S.S PI'IIDI.I'll )l'
PersUlKiit Puller. it Pesky
Paining Purllaiul I'opiihu-o
Willi III Pemlxtmit I'roMMiro
nt I'rwiit, hut Willing lo
Purs ti o I Ii v Piitrlilcxreiit
Peine ami Filthy PIm-iiiiIk
nuy Place till- Hide of Ptirgii-tory.
I For Sale I
M nrvolii u s, iiiipiiirilfiilnl,
splendid, iMitrnitt'liig, fiiM'liiitt.
lug, startling, ilabbergiikilitg
OXK IIIIIIWIiUY hy U II.
OXK CITY HAM, by O. C.
OXK COI.Il .MIIDAI. hy llnrvny
OXK IIAXCOYKIt hy It, .
OXK JAY HOWKIttlAX, broth-er-lu-law,
by IC. A. Pierce.
OXK IIAIMtOAD NYHTK.M by
William Krln MeMtirray.
OXK IIMPOItl.U'.Ui HTOIIK b
Aaron Frank and It. D. Cur-
OXK CAIIHAOK CROP suRahl
for Havana innnufaoturo hy
Charles H. Hill.
OXK .MAMMOTH TIIAIXHD
Ill'I.li tralHcd by O. M.
Pluminer. hy William II.
SAY, YOU MUTS
Hecause tho Jack Rabbit Is tho on
ly fair, squaro and unbeamlrched
paper In the world occasion is taken
to forward the claims of William
Hnnley for United States Sonntor.
(We havo only called him William
since ho ran for office.) Ho Is a far
mer among farmore. In tact while
he Is among them ho knows how to
make them work. Ho can alt down
In a settlor's cabin, JUBt as. common
as anyone, and eat whllo talking, all
the food on tho table. He has slept
under every Juniper bush and knows
every Jack rabbit by his first name.
If he spends his tlmo In the city
It Is not because he is fascinated by
tho glitter of tho Third street lights,
nor bocauso ho needs to Increase his
city acquaintance any more than lu
Central Oregon, but because It's so
blamed cloudy In town he doesn't. ter.)
know when to start away. It Is tin
necessary to state that Hill hates ar
tificiality. Ho has never Indulged
lu anything so artificial an a watch.
He keeps tlmo hy tho good old Con
trol Orogon sun and when tho sun
doesn't ahlno how can ho koop his
appointments? Put him In tho Unit
ed States Senate and ho will not run
hy the capltol clock olthor. Ho will
bo always on tho Job. If any of -js
want anything ha will got It and send
It to us. Ho will transport his ranch
homo to Washington so all his old
friends can drop In any tlmo. He's
not going to forget how to smllo nor
shake hands and he's for tho uio of
natural resources, He for him as he
lo both for you and himself. (Unpaid
advertisement Not signed by A. 3.
Moore nor written by O, Clark I.ol-
Don't Forget tho Ulg Show In tho Dark Woods at Noon,
Ilondfjs Pnrqmost Cltlrcns Will Ho, Initiated
Tho Torture Qhambor Is Ready. ,
Death Will Ho Mnde as Has as PoWklcu
Judge William M. Colvlg Will Confer
"TIIK DKUItl'l' OF HQUAMTY"
Watch Out For Tho lllg
HIO.V OF TIIK DOUIII.K CHOStf"
And all other parts of tho Third Degree, ,.
All Portland Muts who havo' not tnken the "Works"
Will ho put througjt with tho Hend Hunch,
Thoso nro Ofllolal Ordora and Must bo Oboy'odv-. '
i Hy ordor of
. HILL STUANDHOna,
Tho Hg Mut.
Til lilt tlttll It IMIinV4.W ----.
Railroads and Lumber Mills
on Short Notice
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED. Wo havo .con
struoted moro railway and mills than all our competitor
In Contrul Orogon. '
THE BEND BULLETIN