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About The Bend bulletin. (Bend, Or.) 1903-1931 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 6, 1914)
't Advertising Feud Is Explained t -NM Difficulties of Portland Papers Entirely Due to Gen- erous Natures of Their Ad Managers fly W, J. llofnian. 1 havojong desired opportunity to clear- my mind of an unjust public opinion 'directed against mo. I havo licon credited with having nttomptod to keep 'the Oregon Dally Journal from obtaining advertising. This b not truo Any words I may Imvo us ed in Addressing advertisers were not, as hgs been charged, vindications ot tho Journal, but meroly profession nllsms Intended to make Messrs. Pit tock nhd Mordon believe I was work ing my djtrndest for their Choap Morning .Squeak. As n matter of tact lly THOMAS J. MUM.1N. As I was not called upon to make n speech at Rend I am glad tho pop producer of Tho Jack Rabbit has In vited mo to publish without charge, beyond tho drinks and cigars for tho staff, any thoughts I might havo. 1 thank him for believing that I havo any thoughts. As l look romlnls contly Into tho roseato past I discover that to furnish mo an nura of purring contontcdncss and rely on my con sclenco l must mention tho Oregon Ian. Tho duel betweon V. J. Hottnnn and niyaolf was not because I wanted all tho county advertising but because I wanted him to nave all or it, nail I tin InuUtml lilwtt 1 1 1 I ) I n t fitnt 1 4a 1 have labored hard for tho Journal. " , B'hollIll bavo been more 1 assumed the awful burden as Chief j Rencrous. 1 found myself thrusting It of tho Holsterlng Hosottes solely j out my Jaw to n prominent angle, lot that tho Journal might mako Impor- ting my ordinarily ini'd blue eyes tant uso ot my dlstlngitlsiied namo lit ' blnxo monaclngly, and paying buck Its important columns and thereby I nasty things as that he should know gain standing. If I havo put my llfo a. better than to try to Impoverish his unearned incroment Into n costly splendid publication by dlvortlng nit electrical, burglar alarm system at. the really cash business to tho paper my iium.u if whs nut irmii ivur. nut cuiiuiiuiiwij nuunit uo mu .tfiuiuiiy. In order that It any friend of the Dlseaso which" I represent. So far as Journal camo to see me lato at night I am concerned there Is the boat of I would he. Instantly notified and thus ' feeling between us and Fred Johnson Immediately begin to sing tho praises has agreed to nrbltrato any more of of that powerful paper. My well . our friendly difference, taking as known reputation for sincerity, truth ' feo any business that may be In dls npd voracity will 1 know support this . pute for tho Telegram, sometimes Btatemont. wrongfully called the Portland Josh. Ives 1 rat THE GUY WHO STAYED, AT HOME will culoalF, ringworm and pip." "May hero a whllo and It do your llvor good." "After six weeks you won't noail a liver. You can feed (t to tho dog." "I know one guy who gained ton pounds Just riding through town ho camo In to buy groceries." "tho ilea in rate in iiomi is so FINANCIAL COLUMN - - GCMMS B6ND? BEND OR. DueT 1 v rrsf 4 UlSMAWr r AwmiA i f Vdm V ' M 4 ft! f . mr ""'4 z II. W. Mutant) r reads his hlhl every night before retiring. I,at mirni nit iiiflii,vi.&iii mi, in ..wii-uri ,tr small that tho undertaker starved to death and there wns uolioily t. bury him; so ho dried up and tho wind blow him uwny." "Never had an epidemic In town "Hill Adams came to llaml with all tho load .nickel und plugged dimes ho has taken In since he waa elected to olllco. lie expects to tin that ho has already borrowed $00 which the porter iniuln In tips off of Walter. Klch,eow tfy 'M'ob'frAT ikluson hud Wullor Cluild. Mmury Oliustcitd who, got crniy with tho heat when ho wan elected n i the Hoard of (Inventors of tho lit in ltoso Festival nnd gave tho llmtrd about $1,000 worth of olllco rent for nothing, has boon sent out In llond by tho owners of the building so mi to lot tho cool, Invigorating nlr blow ncross his brow nnd bring him back to normal. lie executed another coup do miixumii Just before leaving homo, llo oxtrnotcd thn 20 for the excursion nut of tho safe whllo the directors worn out to lunch and (hen nsked tho board to declare a mora torium. This will enable ICtuerv In hold nut tho "twenty" till ho guts It In noxt pay check. "Considering every lli'ng. tne n n olinnce to pick up it little morn loomi change over here. Tho hoys lino .terot()rn ynrkd nut. IJia. folhnvjng HOW' scale' or prices for nil iiliihlcul entertainments In tho future, Holes advanced from nothing to fin. Duels advanced from nothing lo H.). Quartettes advanced from nothing to . k 1 flu. 1'uooruH, olio verso, solo advanced from nothing to . . . So. KnrornM, two verses, solo advuiicod from nothing to . . Ho. KncoreM, one vomo, qunrKittcsi solo. advanced from nothing to ... Da, Kncores, 2 versus, solo, advanced from nothing to ,.,18n, Tho old scale will apply while thn boys aro In llond, hut not olsewhero. W. J. Ilormnn Is getting light mid hiiliMicnilod trvlug to Dnd some ox cuse for railing advertising ral during tint war but ho says It Is an (deleted iy ceusori t- nuclnt sltuallon looks very much all get auybodv (o advertise In tho Ora-y right." dnnlared Hanker Olmstend to'gcnlnn that ho Is afraid (o lake the cliHiire. since I-rank McCrlllls brought tlm, lwill ,h6 jUIIK ou l)cul m.rcintu who lrst 1-ortl here: row ovorybody hu;Rr lorttiy wnrnod to look out for out. but thoy ilon t Inst long. BrSB upholstorwl gent with a heavy "Fiimi flahluR In the world right overhang welMlnod with ooln. hero In Hond: have to lock the dootsj citatlio Her tipped tho port.r "J ."'. .. . ' "" r. """.tour nits and tlio smoke came ick sneaking In the house mid eating up tho children. (5 Lqvu - 3I6NOC-A.D r i ipk Yt CONT0RJl0Ml"bT! wm Tho editors desire to apologize for the way tho obovo cut Is drawn. Those guys up on tho tablo aro doubled up llko a mess ot green cu cumbers or sour apples and tho draw ing was made before tho Portlandoro had had a chance to stick their foil under the various feital boards scat tered all around Crook county from Hcnd to Sisters and Tumclo and bask again. The "Jackrabblt" will glvo a To ward of 20 round Iron men to anv Portland visitor who can bend that far backward after having had "threo squares" with our hosts. The cut Is merely put In as a tok en of hospitality at being allowed to bust a few buttons off our walct bands at'meal times. 00G WIMGOMBE IN REGEPTfVE MOOD 8a)s Smith Lured Him Hut to No Avail. Doc Wlthyconibe was on the sta tion platform this morning when the Portland-Header train whistled in. As bo shook hands all around, con stituting himself a moving reception lino and welcoming them all to "his city," it was the general conclusion that he had come to stay, but sud denly be swung aboard tho down bound train. "Doc. alnt you go in' to stay?'' wept the excursionists. "Sssh, hist, halt, listen," he ex pectorated mysteriously. I got in ahead of Doc. Smith. Ho found me here, lie Invited mo to get in his car and ride down through the country with me. 1 knew he had treacherous designs upon my cam paign, so I gave him a Judas kiss anl left. Whllo he was putting In his time at the Alphonse-Gaston turn I was sewing all the crooked votes of Crook and Dent! in my sack and now I'm on my way." (Paid Adv. by C. C. Chapman.) DOG SMITH SHELLS OUT FOB PUBLICITY Democratic Candidate Says Coyotes are Menace. Dr. C. J. Smith, who :s a candi date for governor temporarily resid ing in Head, has requested the edi tor In chler to give him a little spa co. "You'd bettor be careful about go Ins to Slaters," quoth the doc-go?, "I was over there lest night and they told mo there were a lot ot danger, oils coyotes killing tho bears and bulls whether from Portland or .he Htockyards." "Rut we observe you got ba?"t uneaten," came the witty retort from the cub reporter. Just then a youngster came parad ing by proudly dragging the dead bodv ot a coyote. "Yes, and you eeo what 1 did to 'em." exclaimed the former presi dent of tho Pendleton school board and tho state board of health as quick as a (lash, or, at least, he says It was quick as a flash. "And. that;" he continued, quoting himself, "la how all my opponents will look after election. (Paid Advertisement by C. J. Smith.) AUTOMOBILE J COLUMN s"t rriyfAr N .1 J VI V 11AKXBY OLDF1KU)" AT TIIK TILLKK Tho forenoon cruise taken by the newspaper men was conducted by n old sea salt named "Harney Oldfleld" Kerrell, sometimes called "Doc" no relation to Yak. Harney had many opportunities to drum up buslncsi for himself by smearing up old wom en and children walking along tho dusty road but he never hit anything. In fact ho controlled his highly cour teous and sociable donkoy engine with great finesse. As a result, tho hoys were enabled to enjoy tho scen ory and absorb tho five or six cold bottles which George Palmer Putnam had thoughtfully concoaled In the tonneau before starting out. "Doc" got lost several times but it turned out luckily, after all, because ha wns ablo to succor sevon straggling Ad Clubbers, with one or two bottles, aftor thoy had walked about olovon miles following a cad accident in which their tuborcular gas burnc coughed a couple of times, curled up and died on tho sldo of a hilt. "Dos" and C. 8. Hudson, tho bank chauffeur, brought tho derelicts back to civili zation and the boys expect to mem orialize Congress vlth a petition urg ing that "Doc" be brevetted with tht title of Colonel of tho Donkey-engine FuBlIllers. "Illlili" CAN "HIIUFF" HOMK. "Hilly" Staats drovo the news papermen home from tho Tumalo Project In bis little old loft-handed, animated cock-roach end he certain ly knows how to "snuff." Ilia speed, orneter locks at 300 mllos en hour 30 the boys didn't know Just how fait they camo In hut Wrecks Lampman said It would suro make tho light ning core to sco "Hill" lit action. That little stump-puller of hla grub bed out about seven acres of yellow pine stumps, cleared a quarter sec tion of Juniper roots, stacked 18 or 20 sling loads or lurabor down in the yards, scattered a six-carload o .' dor of green burned brick all over the landscape and scattered tho Deschutes river out of Its bed only because he had to throw her Into tho intermediate to make tho hill. Af tor dropping the boys oft at tho' "Jackrabblt" office, "Hill" apolozlz ed for the bad condition of tho roada which prevented him from letting her out. Doc. Hreltllng said tho sumo thing nnd didn't glvo ua nnr cigar or oftar) iu miy us a uruiK, so woo a. name win not appear in our valuable paper. I.ooIc liamlg had a sttmiach aotte last week, but he doetnrod It up Iu tlmo to eat anything our hosts may have to offer In tho way of sustenance. poitTi.vi iwi'i'ius co.Mni.vi-: IX KKSTltAIXT OF WAU XKWS (Special to tho Jackrabblt.) PORTLAND. Sept. (!. For tho convenience of their readers the Port land papers have adopted a standard form for liattln news from Kuropn. It will bo nltorod In each edition 1 1 bult tho desires of readers. "Paris, or Hrussols. or Herlln, (as tho caso may bo). Another notable victory over tho enemy was scored by a French (or Belgium or Qermnn) infantry regiment at a point some where between Iceland nnd Slollv, Our troops wero outnumbered four to one. but our guns carried four tlmos as fas as tho onomy's artlllo.-y nnd fired four times ns fast. Thov retired with n loss or six thousand men. Our own lotses nro thrco man killed and seven wounded, owing en tirely to rovoltlng troachory on the part or tho enemy. Aftor a desper ato encounter the country was cloar ed of tho enemy. Prisoners report that tho enemy han no stomach for fighting. Hrldgcs thrown across tho river wero repeatedly shattorod hv our artillery. Thin makes our vic tory over the enemy twenty mil this side or tho river all tho more re markable Maneuvering skillfully between a mountain and a rlvor, both of which, wo assure our rcadors, nro to bo found In any respectable atlas, our men mnde repeated chargos through the corn-flolds and well be yond Into tho vineyards which recur at regular Intervals between Rotter dam and Lisbon. Similar victorias aro reported from along the entlro front, which wo cyi go so far as to say Is facing tho enemy without vei tttrlng to specify whoro tho enemy Is." and klckod and said tha half dollar didn't have no hawk on one side. Herg took the 60 cunts boek and gnvt tho dingo two lend quartern. 11. J. Hlneslng runs a large poul try much out nonr ltoso City Park, llo has (SO chtokoiis and only gels ft 'J eggs a day Tho othar chicken Is hit bookkeeper. Foreign exchange Is still uncortaln. Fred Ijirson traded a suburban lot last week to Otis Kutiti for n suit or elothers. ' After I.. II. Whaaler had acquired several cool millions he suddenly started to bum thum up buying a uowapapor. O. C. llortimorer says his hank in receiving augur, limn, bacon and Im ported choose ns deposits In the sav ings department. Just like real mon ey, nnd Is getting rich at II. "Cltct" Whltemoro tried lo go" several of tho boys Into a Kkor gatnn during tho trip so as to defray hla expenses for tho Junket. He had very little success and It Is understood UvJP'' I WOl'M) of comi: IF I haixt kut i.v a i.hhtm: (I.UIK O" DOMIXOCH lS' XIOI1T. )u--w.t The Jackrabbit's Friend IIKARD OX TODAY'S TIUP, "Ain't the air great'" "Orcat country for asthma, tuber- "PZHkakakHkkaBakaHf tho llnnuclnl editor. "I hopo to re port the nltiiHtlott ovon more pnimb lug ortor I have gotten n little bnltr acquainted -with 'Doe' Coo and some or the other tntay unsocial msrxs in Hond." "Hob" 8cnnter la not so Oermnn ns his nnmo looks, llo will take snv kind ot money Just ho It draws hilar est, war or no war. JiiiIro "Hill" CtilvtK. tba dirt e pnrt of thn Southern Pacific la ready to Unlit at the drop of tho list, on either side and at a momwiit notice, llo prefers l lake mi the two gov thst got on each )) of Ills brtli In tho sleeper last night and atmriHl lu all modern laiguagea all the w.o from tho mouth f tho Deschutes to the yard limits of Hend. Jlinmto Dunn haau't said much about where he stands lu th grout struggle on tlm ntlnf sld of the big drink. "War Is nothing hut. a shell game, according to nil reHirts I bnvn road, ho remarked voarliy. last night as ho ilruw on his mauve paj amas. Olto Metchnn. a charity Inmate at the Imperial Hotel, was aakod to con tribute something to the relief or suffering eltlarna of Parts, by the Na tional lied Cross Society and lit at once sent four tons of Purls grn by imrsol HMt, prHtld, and announc ed that If any morn was naoded liw knew where ho could get It and ad vised the Hod Cross people to smrn no oxponso to wh that the proper people got the stuff. Dave MoMftohn says ha Is ready to rally to tho colors as soon ss he ran get some niado. He any there aro none In stock Just now hut he under stands tho United States Treasury Is about to Issue another largo supply of his natlonnl Hints. Harvey O'Hrjan has asked the neu tral ik wers for an old age pension, his young son ICrneat having saved a human llfo. and Harvey has talkn.l himself to permanent total disability about It. Julius Meier nnd Aaron Frnnk nro sore becnuso they nro not In Patis at the present moment. "I consider there Is tlm best plane In tlm world for holding one or our ovor-npiilr Removal Kales,' " explained Julius biting oft another Mimar-nall. "Doe" Kmerton, M. I.. Ilowmsn, II. 0. Whip nnd X. A. Hoose nro greatly elated over one of the pecul iar turns tho war has taken. It has developed thnt- when the nations at war culled for resort nt, nearly a!l tho opera stars and musical artists wore Included and that removes so much competition that them will ha Painless Parker PICKRI,i:S.S PI'IIDI.I'll )l' PIKIIAM) PII'I'I.IC PersUlKiit Puller. it Pesky 1'iongM. Paining Purllaiul I'opiihu-o Willi III Pemlxtmit I'roMMiro nt I'rwiit, hut Willing lo Purs ti o I Ii v Piitrlilcxreiit Peine ami Filthy PIm-iiiiIk nuy Place till- Hide of Ptirgii-tory. J : I For Sale I M nrvolii u s, iiiipiiirilfiilnl, splendid, iMitrnitt'liig, fiiM'liiitt. lug, startling, ilabbergiikilitg liargnliiN. OXK IIIIIIWIiUY hy U II. Hairtlg OXK CITY HAM, by O. C. lloruinoyer. OXK COI.Il .MIIDAI. hy llnrvny O'llryan. OXK IIAXCOYKIt hy It, . HlgRlns. OXK JAY HOWKIttlAX, broth-er-lu-law, by IC. A. Pierce. OXK IIAIMtOAD NYHTK.M by William Krln MeMtirray. OXK IIMPOItl.U'.Ui HTOIIK b Aaron Frank and It. D. Cur- pentor. OXK CAIIHAOK CROP suRahl for Havana innnufaoturo hy Charles H. Hill. OXK .MAMMOTH TIIAIXHD Ill'I.li tralHcd by O. M. Pluminer. hy William II. Daughtrey. SAY, YOU MUTS Hecause tho Jack Rabbit Is tho on ly fair, squaro and unbeamlrched paper In the world occasion is taken to forward the claims of William Hnnley for United States Sonntor. (We havo only called him William since ho ran for office.) Ho Is a far mer among farmore. In tact while he Is among them ho knows how to make them work. Ho can alt down In a settlor's cabin, JUBt as. common as anyone, and eat whllo talking, all the food on tho table. He has slept under every Juniper bush and knows every Jack rabbit by his first name. If he spends his tlmo In the city It Is not because he is fascinated by tho glitter of tho Third street lights, nor bocauso ho needs to Increase his city acquaintance any more than lu Central Oregon, but because It's so blamed cloudy In town he doesn't. ter.) know when to start away. It Is tin necessary to state that Hill hates ar tificiality. Ho has never Indulged lu anything so artificial an a watch. He keeps tlmo hy tho good old Con trol Orogon sun and when tho sun doesn't ahlno how can ho koop his appointments? Put him In tho Unit ed States Senate and ho will not run hy the capltol clock olthor. Ho will bo always on tho Job. If any of -js want anything ha will got It and send It to us. Ho will transport his ranch homo to Washington so all his old friends can drop In any tlmo. He's not going to forget how to smllo nor shake hands and he's for tho uio of natural resources, He for him as he lo both for you and himself. (Unpaid advertisement Not signed by A. 3. Moore nor written by O, Clark I.ol- Don't Forget tho Ulg Show In tho Dark Woods at Noon, . Today. Ilondfjs Pnrqmost Cltlrcns Will Ho, Initiated Tho Torture Qhambor Is Ready. , Death Will Ho Mnde as Has as PoWklcu Special Announcement Judge William M. Colvlg Will Confer "TIIK DKUItl'l' OF HQUAMTY" Watch Out For Tho lllg HIO.V OF TIIK DOUIII.K CHOStf" And all other parts of tho Third Degree, ,. All Portland Muts who havo' not tnken the "Works" Will ho put througjt with tho Hend Hunch, Thoso nro Ofllolal Ordora and Must bo Oboy'odv-. ' i Hy ordor of . HILL STUANDHOna, Tho Hg Mut. t t I: : : x : Til lilt tlttll It IMIinV4.W ----. WE BUILD Railroads and Lumber Mills on Short Notice SATISFACTION GUARANTEED. Wo havo .con struoted moro railway and mills than all our competitor In Contrul Orogon. ' THE BEND BULLETIN I
