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About The Bend bulletin. (Bend, Or.) 1903-1931 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 6, 1914)
NATURE FAKER HAS FELLOW
FEELING FOR PUBLICITY SHARKS
Know Jolcs Sends Grueling to Admen and Will Meet Them TJiIb Afternoon
Nature Man Recounts Incidents of His Experiences
In the Wild and Wooly Wilderness
m , - wan '.rrLMMLiimvMMmtmair .mbu vviv 11
Jf M aHHiHKiJillrSrM
II)' KNOW .lOI.KS. ,
(gpoclal tfl Too Jackrabblt.)
CAMP rWXCOxillC. Sept. .
Welcome to Dead, fallow faker! My
heart ion Ml to yoo. brother In a
groat profession! I would that I
e to great yon. and to wrgaoa,
m one adman to another, lo stick to
nether. We nmet co-operate. We
must unionise. If we hang together
wt ran fool alt the people all the
time, ineteail of Jue wuua of them
eorae of the Hum.
TfkMii..iu wiMriilnir in vmi rmmA
thin, I nhall Iim ending my remark-1
able nature teat I have lived for'
ten dnya In the wild by my wlta, aad
havn Mtrrlved. I wont In naked an I
have demonstrated that clothes do
not Hinko the man.
II tit you will huo mo oon. Chor
up! I uni leaving Camu Buncombe
teirl) Monday morning, and will
make another camp where I shall re
poivi) you In the afternoon. Yah will
reeognlie me at onto; mun of yonr
railing will know a fake when they
I am greatly disappointed thai Joe'
Know lea did not ucojimpnnv rott. aa
I had wired him urgently lo come,
ao that wo could place our rival ,
claims before you. lint Know is
ivIduHtly scented trouble and refused '
my plialtoiiRo. However, that w II ,
make my ixmltlon all the firmer.
Word eoiiien to iho that I have I
been rtubjrctod to crltlriam by my ,
oneiiiloN on ground of morality. In
an ueeount Rpiioitrlng In the Oregon
Journal Thuraday I atutml Diet I ,
Kloil at the foot of one of the Three
Btmera. My orltlra nttek to mnku i
caidtnl of that frank adnilfalon, but
J cant their Mora In their rare, an
Koim jhe Hull known Kreneh nroverli,
"lluney aa(a vho mnlly intM, '
which IioIdk lrunltod meana "Don't
ilreaa In n Kin hounu without blow
lag out the light."
The pleturoa which I miolonn tell
the. atory or my groat comlmt wl'.h
nature, and prove liayoiul doubt all
The tlrxt hIiqwm me aa I entered the
wlldernaiHi. 1 hud Mtiirted atrtctiv al
freacn, but Muyor Miller of llend
romiielleil me to don the Mgebruen
union Hiilt wiilcli hhlea tmrh of mv
graeaful form In the photograph, in
thla picture i am eagerly wau-ningi
the mad flight of a savage uumut'ngi
Ynnkml mildly from our own snug
little Huiiotuiii lust Saturday nt about
9:37 1. in., by the stern rail of dutv,
wo got on u train with u lot of oth
er nltiionila, puomia. (Uberla and Jul
nlttln nutH, and tho next morning we
wore In lloud. dolemoIiliiK from the
pluimant little ad-ntory room In which
wo made tho Jouruoy.
Ye Borlho llltoa Honil, wliloli wo
mlttea ni"Ht huvo hot-i Klvon Uh imino
hi ua to hurintmlu wlfli Uroqlt onnn
d Werlnln will oxplaln thU
jf you don't. at It.
i -& '
HHut Kd, lie ohortlod uhout It.
'And buqiiiu.i1 to think It was olavor.
"Which It may ho.
For oil we know. (I'
.ioi.i s in rum i 'vsidn i. ruses.
bird, ablili latir I tan dn
Tb lacoed .boloraih waa taken
at the end of my Drat eventful day la
too wllda. Tit atory of that d.iy ai
raady haa appearod In the Oregnn
Journal, and baa bean spoken for bv
the UnpycliMMdla llounnlcua. In
tbla tdrtura I wear the bwh-tat and
door hidae, and carry Ihe megatith'r
club with wblch I brained a bullfrot
The third photo alio.wa me lb ac
tion. I am tar libit In action. I bate
to l-- alone Hi lite wllderneee,
everything depend uiin nation my
luutluv itlKlura huii InultlK on It.
Hut Ihe rout tit picture la the prtd
of the rolloctlon. It mIiowh the fruit
of my lelMtra. The allk bat I arted
from allk uorniN, whlou abound in
wormvswMl. and I 1 1 nod It with tape
Morma dteeovered In the aHlmeU I
killed. The akin la from a ear I
chloroformed, who nlao gave m th.
cuffa before I overpowered him, ani.
the garter which I aorured from a
pink aurler anake. The boote were
made from rubber ptanta.
And apeeklng of picture, that re
mind Hi" that my rival, Knowlee.
rlalma to have painted a maaterplece
while In the wllderneee. Hut he haa
nothing on uie. for while I myaeif
bad nothing on. I. Met. have made a
picture that art cotiHoieeur decla.e
to be In a eleae by Ucidf. It la exe
cuted on ca!iaa, which I MKiired
from n ratuaa back durk. and dono
with a hair bruah made from a bare.
The title la "An Adman at ISaae."
and aliowa an ilmaii llng enslly.
The painting followa the cuhlat v'vle.
I have been naked what ctotlt'ng
I preferred when alone with nature.
Of coitrao I did not wear my elabor
ate akin aulta all the time, aa they
nre laith cumboraonio and too ahowv.
My negllKee hna cmiMlalnd of n leaf,
und aa occualiin rmjulrod I hae turn
nil over a new leaf.
(letting a well halnnced dint la no
problem at all. Kor Itmtunco. my
iunoh oonalaled of nrorn on the coi.
Then there ure currenta from tin
atroaina, and with n Itttlo diulerlty
It hi oaay lo extract butter from the
A dawn today I aurpriaed a tnut
rl'lng from the bed of a stream. Bfter
nil hie enmiMtntona had gone to
achool. 1 tlcklad hint to death. Af
ter weighing him on lilaaealaa I made
h bug of hla akin lo hold my aafety
raanr aud Jewelry.
Aidwr), this Tow ne Ooaelp at)le
geta oviir hiarn like Mill Htnala com
lug homo to dinner from lalditw in
that Juggernaut with which ha teara
up the penuoful aauiiory of tUia fuir
' o "
Sum llowltt told B n fish Htorv to-
.liav. Ilmt I.Mtih.-llllitl 111! fill HlM AAltftV
ItlvaiVligaq 1'ortlnpd, tho w. It. me-j
irimiilia. A ilttln lutiw In the davl
MhimIi Dnnu told vu tho aiime atory. J
lip loin it J Hill mo nni.uo n im ur-u
and iiliuoHt In the wiiiib wordu
liuiHt Jiavo eollnbonitad on It.
Varuo Forbes, our w. Ic. and pop.
youm; boIoii. wont down lo Portland
tho othor dny, und whim ho wont to
wrlto IiIh naiuo on tho honk at thd
IIqiiboii UniiBo, ho noticed that Homo
ono from loa AiiKeltm luul Jut regis
tered. "Torolval Chuuncoy Dilling
ham and vnlot." It wasn't written
very plain, but Vorno thought ho
mado It out nil right, bo ho wrote
right under It, "Vernon A. Forboa
iKiu in; kii.ij:i Tin;
(Prom Jole'a Diary.)
Yesterday, I loft Tleod. naked. Tit
day am noatlf. thoHHh Hot gaudltv
clad In fura. My alnowy nmaelea and
rich brown akin uro now covatod b
the hldea or a der and a bobtnt. la
aecurlng them I have made good my
boeat that 1 ean get the hide' of any
thliiK that hldee and am a maater of
the akin game.
It' waa eaay lo kill the deer. I apled
him renting In a stream bed. Hark
ing gently like a atuall tree I ap
proached. I waa In my bare akin, m
I too. rixifiublcd a wild thing. When
In ntrlklng dlalance I abandoned tm
cautloua lactiea and boldly ruahd
forward, and before tho buck readied
Hh danger the tittle aponge aoaked
In chlorororni wa iirenaod to hla no,
trll aa I alozed hla loft ear betweon
my thumb and fureflnger. Ie atirloa
'd twice, plaintively, like a aea ottor.
and then expired at my feet. Aa
noon a I could restrain my emotions
I removed hla akin and mado n aheath
gown or It. Later the vonlaon. broil
ed by my Jaji cook over the electric
rangb tit my humble cabin waa mutt
CoihIciimmI Milk Too Much.
Capturing tho bobcat taxed my
power further, however. The cat
waa tracking a ground mole when I
encountered him. Usually when
caught In hi trackn a cat will fly (
ni hip liuinur, miu i nun iuiuii.'u i
liypnollie htm, when to my atoulh
meut he Hlmply spit nt me. Hut 1
waa prepared tor any emergoncy, und
without hciltatlou produced a nan cor
or rich cream, while calllpg "Put)',
IMiiuy," In a tone of authority.. Hut
he was too ausplcloun to como white
I held the unit cor. bo I placed It on
tho ground. Aa I withdrew the bob
oat udvancod and lapped at the
cream. It wna hla lam lap; the
drondrul tragedy was enacted In n
few second. For the saucer did net
eontntn cream. nt all It wna almulv
eondeused inljk! The surprise took
tho uoor animal so oomplotoly off hla
guard that 1 M-aa able to creep up to I
mm, aueiiorea uy an improviseo niinu
of catnip and end hla agony.
and valise." Verne never would mo
llend outdont. oven hy a town full
or dyNpoutlc .millionaire like I.0KqH,
No oue know tho 'pOrtNlhlllltaR uf
thla uountry. We don't, lint wo doH
know that It's UnpoHflblo for a wijole
roglinont of mothora to aook hatior
things to mi than we ha,dut. filator
nnd Camp 8lx today. , .
Wo not u good view of Suuaw (de
leted by (Miliar) luountajn. too. We
Jjhow now liow Kndw Jolee got hi
jBUBtoiinnce lit thu wlUIaruoaji.
Jlurluo Nolo: Tho wind blpw up
Uto w. k. nnd noDnlar DubdJuIIbb rly
"I'm looking nt yuh, anyhow.
Olve 'om both barroU for muli."
ity loony oahii awntt.
(Without apologia to ft morning
The ithlne muv In) ff tiu; lutl In It a
my gilvtae kid nitl AigerVs llnat.
Jimmy Done Mid 'd im; and
Yesterday m my north dty,
ftalgium it m place for a mini,
tern ofcUd. Neltocr Is Bond.
A follow once Mild: "I can't see
Bend." HM Minn.
You mttf conjugate but Xp" ean
not daelina lewd.
There If a Mun In Salem who It
crazy to com to Bnd.
Conelder well tfie proportion rf
tlilom: It Hi bettor to li young
Hend Hug than an old bird of para
The dlgarnnce between (he lime
' Of OHT sad yOUHg IIVOH HNll B IniHCtl
'if viiln regrets ISO -Tll that to
the lilami who stayed at homo.
1 tfnskoa hi awful nasty tiling'
.There ntnt no thing niucli badder.
Ki I would rathor be a lies
, Than be a Cortland Aridor.
Yw, $20 aeems like n good deal
ii'l we're 8.110 leet higher thrn
Portland: an I that's only a little
er half a ei nt a foot.
, V certain mm! guy of Multnomah
Said "lly (lad, I'm no roamah."
inotoad of coming to Band
Hla trouble to end
' He dletl of dry rot In Multnomah.
i There waa a young maa of Oetand.
Who. whan told of th war by a
Bald "Holly got! thfcs la no olaeo for
8o ho boat It over to Rowd.
sHiTiCMiiim if. tun.
A and faeod young I'ortland Ad Club
ber This morning waa aoen with a bin In
"Why didn't you send.
Or drag me to Hood?
I'd like to have been there to rub
ber." I aleot In an Adman's bed last night
When no Adman chanood to lie
And 1 thought, aa I tumbled that
How easily A dm on Met
While tho Itnoslana and the I'roov
Ian, tho Bngllsh end the French.
Are shooting at each other from n
We are doing our goldurndost to
teach one hundred men
The way to ue expression In the
singing of "The Hen."
H the stale goea drv who'll toad
the Columbia river liar?
Whon all the Mutta In Portland
And all the nuts In Head
Oct looae In Central Oregon
May Cod the land defend!
"The time has come," we Admen said
"To go and see the boys
"Who live on trout and troublo
"And an appetite for noise."
"Penonal Ambitions of Bend's
(Uy n Former Hand Resident.)
Doo Coe -To own the other lot In
Clyde McKay To run for school
Vernon A. Forbes To bring the
State house to llend.
Jnek Wenandy To oscapo the
Hugh O'Kane To and a real antl
rrt remedy and an antidote lor sleep
O. I. Putnam To bring the Davl
cup to Hand.
O. S. Hudson To bring out an
other Hudson ear.
J. P. Keyee To eeaaor nil mill
II. H. A Hon -To loose hi preem
inence as a etty father.
U. M. lara To mutmin hla waist
II. A. MllhMv To bo mayor aga!n.
O. A. June- To dtwovor a huIwU
tulo for oroutn.
1). M4 nayis To find omploymant
L. M Foas To snitch boiho or
"Think of the awful nilBfortuiio
that will befnll tho InRurnnco com
paulea U tho nornidna sack and burn
Paris." Bobbed Harvey O'Hrlnn. thla
morning.' Harvey froquaiitly burata
Into toai-H becfluso )ila fnthurlnnd
linan't got anything to light nJiout
linloe) It Is boeauso he wasn't bom
undur came flag.
U. It, Wheeler, new owner of the
Evening TeUgrn Joined the Spe
cial Da Luxe pnrtv on tho trip lo
Hend to boo that John Carroll dooe
not pad lifa OMienae nccouut.
Qua Ifnlm aays buaineae has loeu
rotton ov'or slnoe ho loft Portland.
"Thou there was all dav Sunday aud
here la ltbor Dav anothor holiday,"
ho oOiuplBtned btttorly.
Kdgar Frank aaked tho portor to
bring him a "Coney Island Red Hot"
before he went to bod Inst night. He
round a floa and a nuuxlo on the dog
WHEN OREGON GOES DRY
Sam Hewitt Has Unique Scheme to Preserve Intoxi
cants and Make Deschutes Popular
Mm Hrwltt having decided that
Oregon will go dry at the coming
election, haa eroHrod a plan whereby
the afteek of the terrible blow wilt im
mora easily absorbed and he an
nounce that the people of Hand will
be able to help consummate the pUn
In a malarial way.
Sam'a Idea la to gather all th
booio III lh atale together the morn
ing aftar election rnd ehlp It up Into
the Caeeadea at the head watara if
The DeafihtitM river and 11 the cold
weather froaso It solid. Than whan
ft thaws It will melt and run down
into The Daachutoa which la teeming
with the world's finest game Bah The
flah will drink tho water In the river
and get eouaod and while the trout
are enjoying their Jag It will be an
eaar matter to go down to the river
right here at your very doors and
eatch a mim of live hlgh-balta, cock
tails, gltf rickeys, stiver llrr.ee or mint
As The Deschutes river Is a stream
of great natural resource It la under
federal regulation and the state au
thorities have nothing to ray about
what la done with the ftfh after they
are eaught drunk or sober. When
ao rofiiaod to eat It and asked for
a "Mexican Hairless."
Charloa K. Herg. president or the
Ad Club, saya that Ihe ruling fashion
now la for men to buy stockings for
the women folk. To show hla ou-terprtr-o.
be baa just engaged 12 of
Anun lli.lri'u .hnv elrls In net as
models and demonstrations. "Wo I
charge no more for thm extra aerriee I
than otherwise, and the war has ha-l
no effect on our price." explained
"Sam" Jackeon of the Journal
ain't her because "Ted" Moor of!
the Oregonlan ain't, and they both
ain't heBHe Jonnle Carroll of the
Telegram la. i
CAHD OF THANKS.
The editorial etlKa of Tho Jack
rabbit are nothing cut the Hoar
Hoar! chorus: wait till we get start
ed, will yn? nothing, aa we were
aajiag. If not grateful. Therefore
theoe flowers. For. aa a matter of
fact, and perhaps our readera would
like something or that nature to re
lieve the monotony, this astounding
buret of aporadtc Journalistic enter
prise would not have been possible
but for "Buck" Sawyer, who really
really runs The Hand Hulletla. as
everybody herealKiutJi knows full
well. White tho rest of ua were
holding tight and hoping ror the
boat, and breaking axles on these
corkscrew Crook county roads.
"Huck" Sawyer was r.ack there In;
tho sanctum fixing up our copy ao
that It appoara In Its present partial
ly coherent form, rending proofs aad
bribing a disgusted lot of printers to,
stay on the Job. Hence this first
long Jump or Tho Jackrabblt, for
praise or blame, should bo credited
to tho best old scout In Crook coun
ty and that's taking In some terri
tory, we are Informed.
But. after all, The Jackrabblt
would never have seen the white
lights of this evening if it hadn't
been for the pood work and
faithful service of Ralph Spencer
and Frank Miller, who gave i p
their usual Sundav r-rayer meet
ing and worked all day getting
out the paper. The reading pub
lic owes 'em a debt of gratitude.
IIKKD.S WII.fi It KM).
T. W. aud M. A. Reed
Antiroach with Brace, aiinroarh with
speed. v I
So everyone may comprehend
That even Reeds will sometimes Hend
nv r:ni i.vuif
A. II. do Gollyer. will always follyer.'
The beat bunch Portland can send,
And that Is the way, he happened tc -
To como breozlng up here to Hend
Wl I.UA.M .McMLMHtAV.
(Tho Jnekraliblt regreta that ai
Hplondld photo or Win. McMurrav.j
willed waa to have been printed aiiove I
what la printed below, waa deleted
Tho railroad man known as Mr
Whose motto was "Why should 1
Tried to drink all the scotch
Without leaving a blotch
On lite name or creeling a flurry
In olrolea whoro there la no burrv
Tho rnvor or travelers to curry
Hut ho ran short of term
To dosorllie haw It burns
(Holl. I've no more rhyme for M
If the little roly-poly gont named
"Hilly" who has a fat Job at Hie
Portland City Hall will meet me -.t
tho niBtlo bridge across the Dea
ehutee nt 11 o'clook tonight. I'll ptun
tho big atlff In. I used to go to school
with him. but since Jie got rich hot
don't notleu me no more Muggie
If Judge Colvlg does not return u
me at onee and tell mo whether his
tuteutlana are honorable. I Bhull re
veal everything, tho brute. "Tla for
ty long yoara since I have haw him,
but I liuvo rejuulned true. I wish V
God I could any ua much for htm.
No. Kddlo SRinmouB. you may think
you lovu me, hut who was that orosa
oyod blBcult-shootor that wont with
you on that trip to Mount Rainier.
Don't Ho to' me. Nothing can savo
you onco my teellu'a get hurt. Tum
WANTKD Knovlodgo of tneana
to Join the Emblem Club. I belong
to everything else and pay my dues
the trout are Una lly bagged, an I
still on a lovely (lender thoy will i
fried and eaten aa doe red and those
who partake thereof will be able in
nuetich their thirst by eating the flah
In order to make the supply v
manent, the roe will be removed fr.,
the female trout and placed In hntli
erlea and the young Bah will continue
to propoxate Incipient Jaga wherpv-!
tbey are planted In the stream.
For thoae who have bem aectt
tomed to take Haaka In thefr trave'
Ing bags when on eatendml trine, tb
trout may be aun-enred, amoked or
kippered by a proeeaa known only
Hewitt and for which he haa the -cluetve
American rights, so th.-it
whenever the traveler deetrea n hlgli
ball or cocktail he will cut n strio
off (he dried flah which may be car
ried in the jiocket, and chew it ti:
and he will enjoy all the sensation
that could be experienced If the Sim
had not gone dry. By keeping Th
Doachiitcs woll stocked each yoar.
Hewitt Is confident that the stnat i
will always be a popular Summer an.t
Winter resort for all these like .t
little nip with, or between, theh
ono year In advance. David X. Mos
essohn. DftSIHHO Some one who wl'i
apeak a kind word about Charl
Berg'a nooks or shto at Ad Club roil
PKBB drlee. As to Oondiirf
of bualnesa. living of life, averting
of danger, passing of bucks, and fo
mation or cauaes. Call upon or tele
graph The Advisor, Oeorgo I). Lee
i.ook for the hair and the nose.
We regret to announce that G. A
Benedict could not some. He h.
been trying to get away with
chicken dlnnera at one etltlng. nr
still haa the boay sign on hto door.
Anyone wanting C. C Chapman
should not attempt to locate him
hla laugh. This haa had aovoral porn I
clous but aucceaaful Imitators. Und
Mm by h'a penitentiary hair rat ami
get him to tell the O'Curran aton
He la rery proud et It.
If tho young lady In a rel aweatrr
who waved a head of cabbage at t.
It. Wheeler on Head street, yeste -day
will call at the -train. Whcole
wlll give her a fine reclpo for sauer
kraut. If dat big gemmon wlf do pow'rul
obstreporoua voice In enh numtu'i
one will do fob me do honah ob totl.i
hack de aoap wot he done stole outen
man toilet room, ah rcck'n he am
gulne tuh save hlsself a pow'tul dls
tuhnance Porter of cur No 1
An Ad-man named Gcorg o d hea
No plumber we ro c rtain is ne.
.r0 jjend we came bumming
He uas asked ' Aro you coming '
Said tho ad-man. "I'm coming, that's
There was a doctor named Plena
Whot.0 mien was feixwio'is aM fla.c.
On the state board ot health
U gathertd borne wp.'UU
To. spend gn a lioh.iiui'. did Piorc
Ho called It u ' Home f r the bugg"
And barrod at tho door su.iil nmt
Hut the people near hy
Started a hue and a cry
So ho Installed but a wife and somo
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