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About The Bend bulletin. (Bend, Or.) 1903-1931 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 6, 1914)
IT NEVER CRAWLS
PAY NO MORE. .
"ALL THE NEWS
UNFIT TO PRINT'
voi i, no i,
I'l'IIMfjJlFJA KVBltY TlAlK THE AD CLUB, COM KM TO HUM).
THK XttXtf IHHVKl
i Now Under Way
i I -j .-J - t-. .t ---ruar' T". i
.TITANIC STRUGGLE RACES BETWEEN
INK I'OTS AND WHITE TAPER
'"TICD" I'll'HR A. "8AM" JACK.
1 MIX (l( TO Till? MAT IX A HAT-
TI.K 01' ILVI'ISHMIXATIOX.
'IOiihiiihii Cniilllcl U Mutt) Tempo!
In a Tcupot (iiiiuiitil Win i Inlor-
fiiHtliin Itnlfltt, '
(tty Asslnllsd I'ronn.)
POKTI.AND, OIIIB. Monday, 8tpt.
'".--At last the world'a grmUiwl trl
! hns I nmn roaahud. Tim uvwit that
all nation kava draadad for JO yearn
'I m linml.
"Td" PI par haa donned hh brans
rillMM nut) "SHm" jRklKH hM Ull-
"Tad" Iuim ordered 40.000 Inn it
. wliii imHr for lik ninmuiiltlim anna
and "Bam" has laid In all the rod
and green Ink In th United Htatas,
Canada anil Wnshnugal.
Tha battle hatweoii tlin two tall
tower ha begun . Piper let loom
wlih a heavy volley an tilt adlturl.il
page using half a roll of paper anil
t "Doc" ftinlth la a horso-thlef."
"Hob" Month Muml to mi ok okk"."
rattled the Journal with n tremen-
dous splatter of red.
"OiHfrKn Chamberlain ilrlnVta high
111." screamed tim Oroganlnn.
"Wlthyrombo la orkod." tliundar
(nI "Main" Jaekson emptying another
"AMOXd TIIOSIC I'lilMKNT."
Tho full crow of the "Portland Ad
Tliiii Itnnd ItrlKadn" na follow:
(' V. llorK. profldont Portland Ad
i'luii. C A. Whltiimora
r A ltf.ll.MltM HAMnMl
Hialrman; U. II. Moory. vlco chair
man; It. II. Atklnnon, ohalrtnau
i iranaimrtutlon, Portland Ait CI no
ojTartftlo. Dr. It. M. Kmonon. M. I
llowinnn. Charloa V,. McCullonh, h.
t n SVwtnn: Prca. W. P. Strnndhor,
Vnmlinll N. Dana. Itox linpti)aii:
Wm. MoMurray, 1). N. .Monoaaohn,
,, Win. Adaina. T. J. Haldwln. II. J.
lllnwInB. Win. I lloyd, O. C. Ilortt
nieynr. W. II. Ilrandna, Dr.
inoorxo It- UrottllnK. !' H.
Hroanar. I., w. HHeklor. v. I.
r'amuMII. John I. Carroll. l'rnKvliiK t for today and If ho'hi prop
-taw, v.. c cnanman, wm. n. ioi-
Mi. W. H. Crawford. Win. II.
' DaiiKhlrov. W. U 3. Davla. A. 11. Do
" .. ..a . .
Oohor, C. M. Dewoy. Ilarvoy I
1 Dlklnnn. Jimmy Dunn. A. K- Kk-
liardt. Ham Hvana, John C. Pnlor,
. Anron M. Prank. lMtar K. Krnnk. O.
t. Prooman. II. Krlmltiwn. JiuIro
llautonboln, W I. (Iraham. Pijrry C.
-Orovrm. 0. II. (Irrnn. W. II. Oultd,
Mill llanlny, I.. II. Ilanik. II. K.
Iaak, O. K. Ilaak. Ilonrr It. llavok,
'A. A. Hermann. H. H, llowltl. Chaa.
Tr'lllll. Lron Hlnah, W. J. Ilofniun.i.
,i. A llunlor. B. J. Jaopor, O. K.
.laffrov. Will KnlKlit. Waldo Korli.
Otia Kulin, W. K. Iinlmrt. J. Prod
l.araon, (Iho. D. I.fO. J. II. MiirKotula,
"Polo" Mayor, Frank MoCrlllla. A.
AV Mpl'nll. Otto Motnahiui, Hantv
'" l(.ar. V. I.. Mnrolunil. Clay R.
taflL InrM. K. W. rnahor. I,. II. Mootnaw,
,ii .tiiiiiiiu, i uiyi. j. minium, liar-
vy O'Mryau. Clnrenon OluiNtoad, rl.
li Parknr. Dr. A. Ploroo. K. It
I'alinu, N. o. Plko. Merrill A. Itwl.
T W Itocid. Harry Itlbhnv, K. II.
. Itiitherford. C. 8. Itiiaoll. K C RniM-
fiona. II. W Bohtnoor. J6hn II. Seott.
i Hrlinninimkl. M. K. Hmoad. John
n. Vlnrll O. ttl. Vinton, Clayton
AVontx, kh worioin, u it. wnnoiir.
A Wllllama. C. K. 7.1 1 Iv, V. M.
Train crow: fiupt. O.-W. It.
Co.. W. II. flitlld; Conductor,
Dalrvmplo; Pullman conductor, aoo.
IlKlli: I'OH a pumpohi:.
f John II. Bcott, who blow an much
ruth for (tin ToloRrnm for yoars tint
t Plttock rtnally had In noil out. la with
the narty. Ho hoard somnwhore that
tho' lilt llnndtana woro roIoi? to blow
tin $2500 and wanta to not ani'ind
nnd Hlnnd In tho brcozo wnon It Ulta
, tho coin.
I.OOK8 VOUNfl Hl'T IH WIHB,
a I.. It. Whoolor looka almoHt too
iinvloh lo own n cnlm. old plonoor
iiowapftnor llkn tho BvonliiK Tolo
irrnm. but IiIh fclonda any ho la wlno
na un old mald'a pnrrot. ,
JACK UAMIITH NI5XT,
Day Mnrao anya ho uaod to rnlso
i wpIkIi rabblla on a cM-cho fnrm Om
' uaed to own ovor In Tlllnmnnk cum-
tv but ho novor trlod Jack ranblta
rnlthniiKh ho Iibh often thoiiKht hr
would llko to. Oo ahond Clay wo'ro
..with you mornlly and aplrltunlly.
COULDN'T WAIT I-'OIl IT.
Clayton Wopta nnd T. W. Rood
hoard that tho "Jack Rabbit" would
ho nut yentordiy morning nnd thov
wni un all nlaht and rontod their
lfertha to soma fellows that played!
barrel of red Ink on the ink roll.
"Job Know Inn In on the IovhI,"
blustered "Ted" heaving Rlx roll of
paper Into tho pr-rooin.
"Know Join la tho roxnlar iltvll,"
roared .liteksoii bunting In the hwtd of
another Ink Imrrtd.
"Down with tho Klvera ntul llar
hnra hill; IIh' nothing hut fat pork,"
storm! IMjiwr Bleating all tho white
paiwr tlia Talegram lintl In th aafa.
"lllMwrli, Mar, X e o n n il r I,
Whelp. Parotic Mattold. Osh(Mh1 Par
niiolc," fimlllnilml Jitekaon, red In th
fnw with Ink ainoara.
"Tin Itapoblltaii party U rattnlt
od." volleyed Piper growing apoplao
tle. "Like hall It Ik," raged Jackson
swallowing n bucket of (he green In
Ida oholorfo tn.
"I got nioro advertising." Imttlatl
"I not nioro olraiitntloii," enfiladed
"I i;nt morn pages," fired 1'lpar
allowing tho urfoeiji of battle.
"I not inoro nWB," rtwllml Juak
on, with fnllKiMi.
"Yiih're u liar."
"I klakmt yuh,"
"Hay," yolleil Plpar'a proMman,
"wo'rn out of paper."
liny." hollvrcd Jaokaon'a Ink allnii
er. "tho liarrol'a oinpty."
poker nil nlKht. Whnn thoy found
thu paMir would not nppoar till thla
niornliijt, thoy alupt all day yeatur-
uay ami niinii all tuo fun. Homo
hhkomII'"1" "" ""'"', mjlUK III IIHWU
I ff.llU HA .IhIBU. !...!.. ... ....
OANA'H H.MAUT KO.V.
Murih Dana haa n brlnht tittle aon
nnd ho aaked ha fnthtrr If It wnal
rlnhf to aay "I watorod the horao.'rj
Manlh told him It wan. Then (ho
boy aald: "Wull, Dad, 1 KUeaa I'll so
and milk tho cat."
IIO.VT MISS JIM'H 8TOUV,'
"Jlliimlo" Dunn haa a brand Don
atory that ho haa nnvor told. 'Ho ta
nl.. ....-. ,.-., I... Z. a... 1. I
oriv nnnrnnnlinil lm mv toil I, i.
1 front of overyliody. aithouxh thdt
un t too Kind iiq utually tolU.
WHY I'ltKI) CMK.
Fred Zllly hadn't' tlurd on bolnic
hero but he camo anyway to aoo that
hla IiIk fat brother Ca.f didn't hog
ovoryiiiius on tuo taoiu llko no tloea
(IKTTIXO IKIUVVTO OABIW.
Tho caso of Cbmo la -vary clear,
For ho declarna wftb solemn look,
"With nil of this excursion horo,
III Mond, but I vfoVt bo a Crook "
1l.i;VHY'H cltQjbKHIl ItOL'TK.
I,ouniurg, aerval o'fltlio oorport-
tlons. '" i jr -'
At work, at play r on vacation,
My overy niatijl Jrcoly cTukted
For working for two Itrooka of ruat;
ror Human woqi Ih alwaya on n nod
When there ! rallroada to bo
When Marshall N. tana wont lo
bed Inst night! his hnlr wouldn't llo
down and go to aleeh but atood up
NO, THESE ARE
a A. WWKnut
HUGE REWARD IS OFFERED FOR
Pn I U Out With Ilia Wlfn Ot'rr Oolnt:
to Wiir Hint Wunla lllm lo JlnlUt
TlilnkM filio Jij 1olilnu 'nml
Then Illhun'fli' tho TiHtli,
A htma roward f .1I,B7I,&I!J
ha han off wr oil for tho dtaaoverr sti'l
rolurn or W. (Bill) P. MrMuW.
He haa beu iiiImIhk from hla aema
IoiuihI orMta for more than thra
houra. When hint aoan ho wua Md-
iIImk hla WMpliiK frlHHda Kood-ttfo.
Ho HtMlgnud no roaaou for hta (lapar
ture and none la known. There had
Iihhii, It la trim, n call for him to Join
the llwmlniiH and make war apalant
the Mcaudlunvlana. To thla call he
Keiitly turned a doaf onr. after brief
ly explaining for a day nnd a half
that II would broak hla ulfo'a heart
for him to K to war.
Wlii'ii bo went homo to tell her it
hla tlriiVH deed for her aake. he
found her nbaent and by atraiiKo co
Incldunco alie waa at the moment
IIIIiik with the federal court her vol
untary permkHlon for him either mi
go to war or awatlow a tlck of dyna
mite with a porcuMlon fuse attached
noil then Join the Ad Club oxcuralon.
All of hla frionda had foil aure bofore
that Mra. StrnadborR muat love her
Hill but thla waa taken bh proof peI
live of hor heroic temprntnont. Hut
ailde from Ihmm coiwldrratlona all
who know Mr. Strar.dborK were un
willing for him either to go to war or
dbappear Not lonu ago he unui
innualy elected himself Chief Mut of
the Anolent and I.cksI Ordrr of Men
dicant United to Bteal. Ho waa to
havn orunnliVd a chapter In Mond.
II haa burn, hinted that hla tiatlvo
modoaty auiaesti'd IllKht. but If ao
hla bnhfunPM la deplorable. With
out hla ruddy amlle and chubby
yoiithfulnou no event would bo com
plete nnd no Installation could lm
hold. Searching for him the Ad Clubl
and thn Hmhlrm Plul, linvn abandon-
ed their Butiday and Monday pro
gram; flags aro at half mast In Mond
and Portland. - Churches and saloons
miunta of 57 cities havo united In tho
stfugclo to win the roward,
TBd. Nolo Mill wrote this him
self, and marked It Page. 1.)
nnd acted mad, ao Marshall aat up
with It all night nnd neither ho nor
hla hair got nny rest.
1IITTINO TIIK PIKi;.
Wo rode here on a special oar.
We rodo to Mond. a distance far,
Mepauso we could not If we llko
He 'lowod to hit the N". a. Plko.
Our Campbell hero, wo shipped hltn
ll crated In tho baggage car.
Nino days, or so tho oxporta think,
Can camels go without a drink.
Mut bo humane, Mend follow, dear.
And do not make him do It horo.
Jaogor may not be n grocer.
It Is very true,
Yet ho souiotlmes you should knew
Soils some oarata. too.
Freeman, Frooman, foxy Freoman
Hooked up with the rummy demon,
Whero would ho be. by nnd by.
If thoy'd voto tho darned state dry.
IIOII. ON I.KCK.
If Walter Hvans woro to die
Or oronk or tmaa awav.
Oh. who would thero bo loft to try
Tho cases every day?
And Charlie Koblson, says ho:
Why, I've got tllo answer! Mo!
NOT THE CROWNED HEADS OF EUROPE; THEY ARE
DOMES OF FOUR AD CLUB PRESIDENTS
D. N, McweiMoha
UMIHO.V HAYS PAHIS IS 8APR
J. Fred Laraon, the Broot expert
authority on defonatve oiieratlona haa
Juat completed a careful attrvey of
Hie fortlllcatlcna of Paris. Fred snya
they Include 190 pousae cafo parlora,
188S cORnnc foundrlea. C7S4 cockUII
resorts, 40,000 chorus girls. larKe
herds of broilers, flappers and several
regiments of promlore dansouses.
"Paris la extremely well fortified
for a protracted alego of almost any
length," duclared Strategist Larsoa
na ho boarded tho Mond special.
iimxoiNo i'i a ma man
Cal Stilly has bcou ordered to thu
front by tho Kaiser. Tho German
n.r'"jr.w!n ,,r.,n u. h'?..ro.ar- nnd' .
" "vo oienca Amy a rear win
admit that thla will bo task enoujji.
for any nriny, tho Kaiser has toll
hla men to stop at nothing and l
iur ""'".,. - s. -as
HI) Wnitl.KIX OX A WAIl WKT.
Bd Worleln. the chamtdon heurr
weight and long-!lstanco food con-
consumer or the Ad Club has been
placed on war diet since the Buro
poan conflict broke out and haa been
reduced to nlilo aquaro meala a day
with buffot luncheons between tlniw.
Ho has lost several pounds but
doesn't think the war will last long.
All persona having food or othar
perishable articles In Mend will kind
ly double tho outer guard wliljo Bd
la In town.
WAIt IH XOT A
C. C. Chapman offered to enlist In
the allied armloa until he beard thai
It waa no laughing matter. Chap
man Insisted that It he went his
laugh would have to go too nnd the
French commander refused to risk
DOUBTFUL NEARLY DONE TO
DEATH BY DANGEROUS DUTCH
Daro Devil Dicky Delineate Dread
of Doom Near Dutseldorf -Doca
nimiMcr Double Price of DUIicm
Ily DIOICY DARLING DOUBTFUL
(Copyrighted b the Ladles Home
Helper and The Jackrabblt.)
LONDON, Sept. C Twlco today
my Valot and I were mistaken for
C. H. Moore
aBLBV 4 JBBBBBLB
bbbIbbVbbbI jiijuHv bIbbbI
SEPTEMBER MORN AT
i .. s ify sr -, enfaa i r j wsv r
xv - - ' . i-- II p 7llr&ni
mWW7 ' rOraTTw 9
WmMtL" L-W L
THI3 AI CLt'H AIUUVKS
ALU LINKS ItKPOKTfiO
Ill'HV IIY MOOItK
Charloa H. Moore says the German
advance through Franca reminds him
of the tolophone seniee his company
j;lvca tho public. All the lines arc
busy all the time.
T.AST HIS I.KO HAW
"Doo" Parish enlisted for War nt
tho very atart of military operatlona
and waa preparing to Join the Hos
pital Corps In Dclglum, but at tho
last moment declined, because he dis
covered that Henry Hayek had bor
rowed hla only good saw to uao In
getting In hla Winter wood.
m;r u.sns to kxmst
- - nmrs-Kom, Instead
William McMurray haa flatlr re.
used to go to war. Ho haa boucht
a Ford and says he wr.1 run It him
self. Ho waa therefore excused by
the recruiting officer who expressed
sympathy. McMurray will keep a
O. C. Mortxtneyer. formerly floor
walker of the Moulin Rouge. Paris,
has been ordered to supply tho Ger
man army with a full cavalry troo.i
or little "Illlloa." Ho will look over
the Dend market and girls applyiac;
for service In tho Hortzmeyer regi
ment will observo the following
Ponies. 6 feet to 5 feet 3 Inches.
Mediums, S feet, -I Inches.
Show girls. 5 feet 5 Inches, to S
feet 10 Inches.
spies nnd narrowly escaped exeoutlon.
The situation on the continent U
as follows: Tho armies (tho next
I soven paragraphs were blue-penciled
by tho censor.)
An economic effect of the w&r here
In London, and wpedaily at the Cecil
whero I make my headquarters, is
an enormous Increase In tho price of
Welsh Raroblta. A Royal Commis
sion haa undertaken to probe the
matter, alleging tho existence of a
trust. The rise la accounted for, ap
parently, by tho faot thct all able
bodied men in Wales have been call
ed to tho colors, so that the fields
aro no longer cultivated and It Is
C.' F.T Br8
Impossible for tho rnbblts to scouro
SCAJIK IN fTIR nOVAT, CHAMHI.K
BERLIN, Sept. 6. The Algemlen
olsh Gerraelnlshklyer. official organ
of the radical wing of the Teggi
daberlstrobor, states that a te riffle
panic waa created among the Kaiser's
household last night when a French
vessol was found beneath the royal
bed In the royal palace at Potadam.
AWFL'L LOSS IX HKLGIUM
Antwerp, via Rotterdam, Amster
dam and Glveadara, Sept. 6. (De
layed In transmission) The terrif
ic slaughter of Belgian Hares hu
been one of the most pitiful incidents
of the fighting. After the war is
over Belgium will be practically hair
less. During the occupation of the cap
ita! of Belgium thousands of acres o.
Brussels sprouts were exterminated.
WHAT IIBCAMK OF KMKRY?
Bmery Olmstead first said he
couldn't como to Bend: then bo aald
he could and paid for hla ticket'
theajbta renegged and. got, his money,
back and once more changed his
mind And mndo his rozonration and
then Herbert FloIshhack9r came to
town rnd Emery changed hla mind
nnd nobody haa seen him oa the tram
or In Bond but If ho changed M
mtnd again ho Is probably running
up tho track soniwohcro near Red
mond and will be hers In time for
Wrecks Absence is Monrned
Wrecks Iunpman, proprietor and
publisher, ako printer's Uwll of tho
Monday CrnwfUli of Portland had Net
his heart on being In our raoag.tt.
But everything went wrong. First,
hla only clean flannel shirt came- hack,
from the laundry shrunk at the neck
so he couldn't get It on and no nr
subscriptions camo In m he coull
buy another. And Rex refused, t-t
appear In public surmounted by
Then ho had trouble with hi
htaff. The ofllce boj demanded Tjbor
Day off and Bex luid to stay on lhr
Job nil day ycctcrday to get out tlw
imicr. Besides nil this, Hex Is JesI.
ous and euvloua of the auccesa of tho
"Jack Babbit" nnd we understand
that he haa gone to the length of b
MiUrchluff nd IlInscinR mud nt iu,
but all ro care to say la that the
"Crawulsh" is nothing but a Utile
tly-by-nlght, tuun-Mrung, flea-blueu,
pock-marked and wholly scurillou
and putrid' rag, wet-nurbed by the
While wo understand some tnen
bem of tho party regret that Ilex 1
not with us, tho eIttorial SUIT of tiio
"Jack Rabbit" Is entirely Kntbacil
with his absence,
Later. Wrecks stuck onto tho
train nt last minute, but we had (to
fill the nbovo spuco ho the Btory gtw.s
as originally writ.
TIIK WK.T1IER, -
PORTLAND. Midnight. V
Forecaster Doals has Just caat '
the following forecast: Tho
temperature has fallen since the -
AA.Cuh left nnd currents of -
horalr are discerned over Conn
tral Oregon. The barometer
la nomal but sugar la still rlu-
lng. Unlesa It ralna tho dry
spell will continue,