'ypr 7?'nTfl TyTs-p -
i'a
111
!
Strong and Steady
By IIOKATIO
CHAPTER IV. (Continued.!
Waller raised hi eye and w JcMhua,
whose small, mean feature, closely resem
bling hU father's, expressed considerable
curiosity. Walter secretly doubted wheth
er he should like htm, hut Ihli doubt he
kept to htrayeK. Mr. Drummond opened
he outer door, and led the way In.
"Thin Is my wife. Sir. Drummond," he
said, nil she approached, and kindly wel
comed the young stranget.
"1 think I shall like her." thought Wal
ter, suffering hla glance to mt for a mo
ment on her mild, plartd features; "she
I evidently quite superior to her hu
jand." "Joshua, come here and welcome Mr.
Conrad, wild hti fnlher.
Joshua came forward awkwardly and
hi Id out hi hand with the stiffness of a
vurap handle.
"Howdy dor he nM. "Jut come?"
"Ye." ld Walter, accepting the hand,
and shaking II slightly.
"Are jou lired with your Journey. Mr.
Conrad?" asked Mm. Drmnmond. "Per
twin you would like to he shown to your
room."
Walter went upstairs. preoviM by Mr
Drummond, who lnetrd on carrying his
carpetbag, for his trunk would twt ar
nj till the next day, bavin been for
warded by expre-et. At five o'tWl they
Ml down lo supper.
"I hope. Mr. Conratl." said Jacob. "ytu
will be able to relish our humUe repast."
"Humble again!" Ibousht Walter. He
wan about to nay that everything looked
very nice, when Joshua said-
"If you call thin humble. I don't know
what you'd nay to the upper we com
RMnly" hare."
Mr. Drummond, who drsln-d, for thii
day. at leant, lo keep up appearance,
frowned with vexation.
Joanna." he said, "I desire that yea
will act In a more gentlemanly way or
else leave the table. Have you ever been
In Stapleton before. Mr. Conrad?"
"No. lr; neer."
It U not a lars place, but It U grow
Inc. the people are plain, but they hare
kind heart. I hope you may like the
town after a while It you feel Inclined
to walk, Joshua w:U go out with you af
Ur supper, and show you the mill dam.
the church, and the siool house. He will
alw point out the store It la only across
the way where. In my humble way, I try
to earn a living I ahall be very clad
If you will come In and lake a look Inside.
I may be buy, for work baa accumulated
during my absence, but Joabua will ihow
you aronndT
"Thank you. air."
"May I ask. Mr. Conrad excuse my
Intruding the question who U left execu
tor of your father's estate?"
"Mr. Shaw, the lawyer In our Tillage.
He Is an excellent man. very honest and
upright. He was an Intimate friend of
my father."
"I am glad to hear you say so. So
many lawyers, you know, are tricky. We
have no lawyer here," pursued Mr. Drum
tnond. "You will perha be surprised to
hear It, but my humble services are fre
quently called into requisition. In admin
istering and settling etatrs."
"Indeed, sir."
"Yes; but I am glad you bare got a
man you can Irast. Mrs. Dromroend. I
think Mr. Conrad will have another pice
of pie."
Supper was orer at letigtb. and Walter,
by iuvitatlou, went out to walk with
J tubus.
CHAPTHIt V.
Walter did not anticipate a very pleas
anl walk with Joshua. The little he had
seen of that young man did not prepos
sess him In his fator. However, having
do other way of spending bis time, he
had no objection to the walk.
"That's the old man's store Jutt across
the street," said Joshua, as they emerged
from the house.
"Tour father's;"
"Of course. Don't you see the name on
the signT" Walter did see It, hut never
having been accustomed to speak qf his
own father as "the old man," he was not
quite sure he apprehended Joshua's mean
ing. "You were an only child, weren't you?"
uid Joshua.
"Yes," said Waller, soberly.
"So am I." said Joshua; adding, com
placently, "Itetween you and I, tha old
Mian baa laid up quite a snug sum. Of
course, It'll all come to me some day."
"I am glad to bear It," said Waller,
wondering that Joshua should have made
such a communication to a comparative
stranger.
To hear the old man talk," pursued
Joohua, "joud think he was awful poor.
He's stingy enough about everything In
the house. There Un't a fatally In town
hat don't live better than we do."
"I thought we had a trj good aupier,"
said Waller, who experienced not a Utile
disgust at Joshua's charges agaiust his
father.
"That was because ou were with ui.
The old man laid himself out for the oc
casion. It's the first decent supper I've
eaten at home since the Sewing Circle met
ut our houso three years ago."
Though these communications did not
mine Joshua In the estimation of Walter,
the latter could not help thinking that
there was probably some foundation for
what was aald, and the prejudice against
Mr.
Drummond, for which he bad blamed
himself as without cause, began to find I
vm extenuation. I
ALGCR. JR.
"When I talk to tbe old man about hU
tinting me so," continued Joshua, h
tell me lo go to work and earn som
money."
"Why don't you do It?'
"He wants me In go Into his store, but
he wouldn't pay me anything. He offered
we a dollar and a halt a week ; but I
wan't going to work ten or twelve hour
a day for no such sum. If I could get n
llrht, easy place In the city say at ten
dollars a week, I'd go. There ain't any
chance In Stapleton for a young man of
euterprbie.
"I've thought sometime," said Walter,
"that I should like to get a place In the
city; but I rippose I couldn't get enough
at first to pay my board."
"You get a phice"!" exclaimed Joshua.
In astonishment. "I thought you was
giving to college."
"Father Intended I should; but his
death will probably change my plans. It
Is expensive passing through college, I
cannot afford It."
"Oh, that's all humbug. You're talking
like the tM man. Why, you're rich. The
old man told me that your father left a
hundred thouxnnd dollar. You're tbe only
."wii : you told me so yourself."
"Your father I mistaken."
"What, wasn't your father rich?" asked
Jehua, opening his small eje In aauie
mDt. "My father was unfortunate enough to
git in tolled In a speculation, by which be
bwt heavily. I can't tell how his arts Irs
stand until they are settled. I may be
Uft penniless."
"Do you mean that?" asked Joshua,
stepping abruptly and facing hi compan
ion. "I generally mean what I say," said
Waller, rather stiffly.
Joshua's answer was a low whistle of
a twite men t.
"Whew r he sahl. 'That's the biggest
Jake I've heard ef lately ;" and be follow
ed up this n-raark by a burst ef merri
ment. Waller looked at htm with surprise. He
rtrtalnly did net know what to make of
Joshua's conduct.
"I don't see any Joke about It," he said.
"I dsn't cum;laln of being poor, for I
think I can earn my own living; but It
doesn't strike me as a thing to laugh at."
"I was laughing to think bow Ibe old
man Is taken In. It's rich I He thinks
you're worth a hundred thousand dollars."
said Joshua.
"Well, be Is mistaken, that's all. I
don't see bow he Is taken In."
"He's been doing the polite, and treat
ing you as if you was a prince of the
blood. That's tbe reason hs told the
old woman lo get up such a nice supper.
He expected lo get you to take him for a
guardian, and then he'd have the hand
ling of your money, Won't be be mad
when he finds out bow he's been taken In?
Giving you the best room, too! Are you
sure that none of the property will be
leftr
"Prebably not much. I am sorry to
think that your father made such a mis
take. I will take care to undeceive htm."
"What! You're not going lo tell him.
are you?"
"Certainly. I meant to do so; but I
did not suppose be Invited me Just because
hi thought I was rich."
"What for. then?"
"Iteing my father's cousin and nearest
relation, it didn't seem very strange that
he should have invited me on that ac
count." "The old man's pretty shrewd," said
Jeshua, rather admiringly. "He knows
which way his bread Is buttered. He
don't lay himself out for any poor rela
tion, not if he knows It. Don't you tell
him about It till to-morrow."
"Why not?"
"Ilecaute. if you do, we'll have a mean
breakfast as usual. I just want him to
think you're rich a little while longer, so
we can have something decent for once."
"I don't feel willing to deceive 'your
father any longer. I have not willingly
deceit ed him at all. I would rather be
ktivw at once."
"To-morrow will be soon enough."
"At any rate, I shall tell him to-morrow
then. Hut I've got tired walking.
Suppose we go back."
They went back together. Mr. Drum
mond was In Ibe store, but Mrs. Drum
mond was at home.
"You didn't go far," she said. "Hut I
suppose you were tired, Mr. Conrad."
"A little,' answeerd Walter.
"I wonder," thought our hero, "whether
she will change as soon as she find out
that I am poor?" Somehow be felt that
she would not. She seemed rry dlffernt
from her husband and her son, and Wal
ler was Inclined to like her better.
Joshua went out again soon, not hav
ing much taste for staying at home; and,
as Waller retired early, he did not see
either him or hi father again till the
next morning at breokfat.
"I must go back lo the store," said Mr.
Drummond the next morning, when break
fast was over. "Joshua will look after
)ct, Mr. Conrad. I hope you will be able
lo pas tbe time pleasantly."
"If you can spare me five minutes, Mr,
Drummond, I should like to speak to you
In private," said Walter,
"Certainly. I can spare five or ten
minutes, or more, Mr. Conrad. Won't
jou walk Into tbe parlor V
Mr. Drummond was far from anticipat
ing the nature of Waller's communica
tion. Indeed, he cherished a hope that
our hero was about to ask hi assistance I
lu Mttllng up th estate request with I
which, it Is needles to say, he woulil
glsdly have compiled
"I don't suppose ton know how I am
situated- 1 menu lu relation to my falh
er's estate. It I not certain that my falh
er left anything," said Walter, thinking
It best lo reveal everything at once.
"What!" exclaimed Mr. Drummond,
his lower Jaw falling, ami looking very
blank.
"My father made some Invest incuts re
cently that turned out badly."
"Hut he was worth a very large prop
eit) It can't all be lost."
"I am afraid there will be very little
h ft. It anything. He lost heavily by som
mining stock, which he bought at a high
figure, and which ran down to almost
nothing."
'There' the house left, at any rate."
"My father borrowed Its value, I under
stand; I ant afraid that mint go, loo."
Now, at length. It Hashed upon Mt.
Dmmmond how he had been taken In. 11
thought of the attentions he had lavished
upon Waller, of the extra expense he had
Incurred, and all. as It appeared, for a
Ivy likely to proe penniless, lie might
even expect to Hie upon him. The
thoughts, which rapidly succeeded eacfr
other, mortified and made him angry,
"Why didn't )ou tell me llil twfore,
young man?" he demanded with asperity
Ills change i.f ton and manner showed
Walter that Jiwhim was entirely right In
his estimate of his father's motlrcs, and
he In turn tweame Indignant.
"When did jou expect me to tell jou.
Mr. Dmmmond?" he raid, quickly. "I
onlv arrived veteray afternoon, and t
tell you tlfls morning. I would have lutd
you last night. If you bad Iwen In lb
houe.
'"Why didn't you tell me when I was al
Wllloughhyr
"I had other thinks lo think of." aakl
Walter, shortly. 'The thought of my
frtbrr's death and of my loss shut out
everything eee." ,
"Well, what are you going lo do?" auk
I Mr. DnimtaoiMl In a hard tone.
"I shall have to earn my own living."
said Walter. "I am well and strong, and
am not afraid."
That Is a good pkn." M Mr. Drum
mond. who knew Waller jo little as to
fear that be wanted to liecoine dependent
un him. "When I was of ymr age I
had y own lltlns to earn. What do you
propose to do?
"Haie you a vacancy for me In yor
store? Jeba tohl me jou wished him la
go In."
"You couldn't cam much, for you
don't kiww anything of the business.
"I shouM not expect to. 1 am perfect
ly willing to work for my board until t
find oat how my father's affairs are going
to turn out."
This propoal struck Mr Drumroomi
favorably. He Judged that Walter would
prove a valuable assistant when he was
broken In, for It was easy lo see that h
had energy. Hesldes, It was desirable to
keep him near until It was decided wheth
er Mr. Conraos affairs were really In a-s
tai a state as his son represented. Kven
If a few thousand dollars were left. Mr.
Dmmmond would like the handling of
that sum. Then, again, no one knew bet
ter than Mr. Dmmmond that Walter's
board would cost hlra very little; for, of
course, be would at ooce return lo hi
urual frugal fare.
"Very well." h ald ; "you can go Into
the store on those terms. As you say,
you've got your own living to earn, and
the sooner jou begin the better."
Waller had not said thii, but b agreed
with Mr. Dmmmond. Il may be thought
strange that our hero should have Ix-en
willing to enter the employment of such
n mean man . tell he thought It wisest to
remain In the neighborhood until h could
learn something definite about his father's
affairs. He prepared to go lo work at
once, partly because be didn't with to be
dependent, partly because be foresaw that
he should be happier If employed.
When Mr. Dmmmond ami Walter can
cut of the parlor, Joshua was sitting In
the next room, and looked up eagerly to
e bow his father bore the rommiinlea
tldn. He was disappointed when he saw
that Mr. Drummond looked mum at
usual.
"Conrad has been telling me," aald Mr.
Drummond, "that his father lost a good
uVal of money by siiilallnn, and It It
doubtful whether he has left any prop
erty." "I am very sorry." said Mr. Dmm
mond; and Walter saw and appreciated
her look of sympathy.
"A be will probably have to work for
a living, he hat asked for a place In my
store," pursued Mr. Drummond, "and I
have agreed to lake him on trial. Con
rad, you may get your bat and come oer
at once."
Josbaa whittled In sheer amaxemrnt.
Th affair had by no means terminated a
lit anticipated.
(To be continued.)
i ssacai
The I.dr In Stoun.
An amnteur astronomer writes of the
"lady In the moon:" "It In n very beau
tiful face gcrn In profllo nnd uplifted,
as though In proud disdain oT thing
UTn-Htrlal. The mrvo of the throat la
exquisite, and Imlrcil the entire outline
Is mnrvulotisly lifelike. The moon
Inily may boat be obfcrvrd IhroiiKli a
Hinull opcrn claaa when our satellite Is
at half. At that tlmo tbe tip of ti.o
chin about tourhea the terminator
that la, the dividing lino between Uio
IlKht nnd dark torllona of the lunar
surf nee. Most people enn rocognlzo
the man In the moon. Well, tho hnlr
of the Indy, In which I run nlwnys
fincj- I n Hprny of ornnjeo bloom,
forma the kiuii'm left eye, the novo und
tnoutli, hl now, nnd tho chin and
throat the man'a mouth."
Olivloos,
tip tho waiter where you
"Do you
dine?"
"Baj, do I look tarred r
J A TRICK OF MEMOIIY. '
Momory Is otio of the most useful
ami least trustworthy of our faculties.
"I mind It wivl, but I line ma iloota u'
mn mlmtt" snld a canny Scotchman lu
tl wltnena box, A wholesome charity
for the uiUtakea of other wna learned
by a certain woman from her own ex
perience. She was about tu crust the
continent for a thrvo mouth' visit.
On the day of her departure s!k went
to the safety deposit vault where she
kept her valuables, and aald to the
manager that she wanted to take her
Nix, with Its contrnt. to her lawyer's
ottlc for ah hour. Could he arrange
that for her? Tho manager assented,
am! wrnpim! tho box In n iiewapnpcr,
that It nilgh) make an lncmptcuoua
bundle.
T'w day pasted anil the woman did
not return. The next morning. Inquiry
revealed the fact that she had gone on
her Journey Tho manager wa curlou
enough to ask her lawyer If he knew
anything nlnit the box.
".'the left here Intending to lake It
directly to you." aald the lawyer.
That was enough to justify a tele
gram, n soon as the woman hail reach
tM her destination, six ilnya later. Tel
egram: "When1 did ymi put jour nf
ty deposit box?" Answer: "In the
vault where It lielonged," Telctfrnm .
"It Is not there. Kcturn at once."
Another week passed In wretched
sui'iiw for everyone concerned. When
tlio woman arrived, she was In n state
of nervous rage, and ready to itcnisa
the olHclul of every crime In the cal
endar. She declared she had driven
straight from her lawyer to the vault.
The malinger had htmelf let her In,
ami talked with her Her story was
complete In all Ita details. Hut the
mCNCH MAKK MOflEY HEAJlINa ANOOIIA HAIHHTS.
MMflBBataikl- ittHiL -HUttlJ'''
COMIUNO 1IIB IIAIII. PICKINO IT. AND I'ACKINO FOIl MAHKCr,
Thrifty French men and womcu makii tidy sum of money rearing An
gora rabbit, and selling their hnlr or tierce, which Is woven Into a superior
quality of cloth much like allk, and I wnru next tho skin by those affllctr.!
with rheumatism, who say they derive beneficial result. The belter the
animal I nourished and rnred for. the longer, finer and thicker I the hair
The rabblta arw also consumed for fid. It I said that with proper care
each rabhlt may be made to yield a net profit of thnt) dollar a year, ami
the occupation la very pleaaant.
records of the depoalt company did not
substantiate It. That ct doubt enough
on It o that It seemed worth while
to look up the cabman who had driven
the woman on that fateful day.
He waa found. He remembered th
circumstance well.
Had lie any recollection of Mopping
anywhere else? Scratching hla grlixled
hiwd. be slowly retraced the course,
and then aald, "Why. ye I We ad-pped
at tho bakrahon on the corner of 3d
alreet. and you went In!
Here waa the clew. A hasty visit to
the bakery revealed the newspaper bun
dle tucked uway on n hlRh ahelf, with
Ita precious content undUturbed.
There It bad stood for a fortnight,
while a woman and a half-dozen men
wero staying awake by night and fret
ting by day, acvuilug each other of
lying ami ateallnjt, all because one
woman' Intention cot ahead of her
performance ami Imprinted a He on
the tablet of her memory. Youth's
Companion.
HO LONQEIl tOVED.
VloUta rarcbassd Olilr lf Old-fSMtb.
lQHd Hen IVkt Bar "Thaak You."
If straw may ihow which way tbe
wind blow, tay well-known news
paper writer, then violet may also
serve a a van to Indicate the paining
tephyr of society.
In the present vanlahlng of the violet,
there Is no better indicator of thl radi
cal change between th woman our
father used to call "mother" aa the
tltcbed and sewed and smiled upon
her little brood, supremely happy with
the bouquet of violet that aomotlme
graced her gown, and the smart, up-to-dnto
Mrs. H.
Formerly when flowers were distinct
ly emblematic, doi with esoteric
meaning, there was no greater compli
ment than to be presented with a bunch
of violets. Poets tho world orer, since
Adam delved and Kve went vloletlng,
have rhujsvxlled over the womanly sig
nificance of Its quiet fragrance. From
first reader dlttle about tho "mossy
dell where tho bumble vlolots grew,"
to Napoleon' eloquent tribute as ho
plucked It as the sprlugtlmo emblem of
his return from ICIba, and also of Jo
sephine' devotion, everywhere from
garret to throne, It has noddod Its low
ly bead, with success undreamed of
by haughty garden beauties. Modesty,
sweetness, innate gentility these
glowed III the deep blue f cndi fr
urnnt messenger. Hut. itrtcloua nllrn
who wniila to be that nowaday? V v rjtefwV
"Violet? Dear met Don't get those,", rf I T Jr Vt v
sahl the llorlat with n prescient hUiic IOIjU' ) '''4Ay
llkn nn up-toiimo Sybil with n fnt Nnk IV ,CT Kw Jff LMf
account. 'They'ro way out of ntyle.. r lirvKe, r4AjPw
No one ever buy vlolela any morel IWl jVLtJ
They're too little, too modest," ah
polntrxl to n few meager bouquet that
looked very modest Indeed, drooping o
their willed atema.
Itt.us .... I.tflf sl.Awa astuMleSrt It I it
quite ,rm:." Z tatncA 7h -M. ' r.-M Oon.,1,,,.
nlto finality, "and one might Jint a,u,,' ,
well be. out of the world a out f tin Hedd-Wlint kind of a iimchfni. hv
sivle. von know. Of iMiirwn they're J K"t now T Urreiie A riiimbmil Il
sweet nnd pretty and fragrant, and nil
that," he said, giving them n vljnnnt
shake, n though they needed a eoiire
lu gymnastic. "Hut who wanl any
thing llkn that, Indeed?
"Oh, J en. sometime some men, the
old-faihloncd kind, that wear llk hat
and say 'thank you,' ocenIonally buy
them, and tlien, too, when a girl I In
mourning and can't wear anything
else, there Is a slight demand, but to
scud violet to a girl" he held up her
hands In horror.
"Why, I am sure she'd give them lo
tho cook."
"Well, what do they like?" I asked.
For nnswer I waa treated to a glance
that would have been a credit tu an
emigrant ltip.vtnr. r
"Like?" echoed slut rp eyed Sybil
"Why, anything that stand out, show
off! let every Uxly know that you're
wearing litem, speaks for themselves;
thai' what they want."
She Nwetil lir a Uiwer of rose, dinky
Willi udvet lauiy, and pointed to a
great patch of gaudy orchid.
There! there!" she exclaimed.
That' the kind that makes the lilt 1
Just look at them. There won't he one
left after the ball lo-nlcht Of course,
I'll have to fall bark on the rose (o
help out. but It'll be those bright one.
there." h jointed to crimson blot
talnlng some snow-white hyacinth In
the case beyond. "You know," the com
Oded. "I do believe some gr wnid.i
wear sunflower If (her went onlr r.t.
lonable. Tk chryssnthemums and aense-Th Jewish lilger
.,.f !.rm d,0.,Tk" "n 'wfu h,,'l "WIIHe. did you put your nickel In
torlZJjVu e f0"0,TH hM contribution l-ox In Sunday school
! i .? '., r""" m-,,hlc"' ""r -NS mamma! I ast Kddy
STn.r -r. ,,n.e!l,m,,, ,,Ir ''"'Uke, " Preacher-, mm. If I couldn't
of all." l",lMUr' a"d '"''o !.! ,, m)1 pcrmU.!on"-Ienvrr New.
"Vlolri " sh .k.w.i, i... i j -. "Young man." said the poinjwju In-
.--is :' ;; "'. ;-',"; .;;;
-- iio even lo l
consldere.1, jou know."
1urr of a Ve TrupUr,
Hose Oarth. of Clinton, probably
made tho first corn shelter used In Ml
sourl. 1'lfly years ago, lit 1W.S,
devised one from wnteroak plank nnd
tenpenny nail. He used It on hi fann
until inji, when Price'
men cam..
throuch there, saw It ,... . .. ....".
, .. H kni IlilllK I
son iook it uown to Jackmm'a mill.
ml took It down to Jaeksor.' ..on
where
It was used m .hell thn ,,
which waa ground Into meal for
federate soldlera. The old corn aheller
was lost track of for a number of
years by lu maker, but afterward he
was Informed that It was being pre
served at Washington among other cu
rlou trophies captured from the South.
Clinton Democrat
III! Stiller.
"Well," said be, anxious to patch
up their quarrel of yesterday, "aren't
you curious to know, what's In thl
packago ;"
"Not vrry," replied tho still beg.
orent wife, Indifferently.
"Well, It's something for the one I
lovo best In all the world."
"Ah! I suptmiu. It' those suspen
der you said you needed,"- The ctli
olio Standard nnd Time.
In (InnrUeil Tonss,
lllchuti - Money talks, you know,
Pooran Yes, I know' but when It
converHos with mo' It nover speak
above n whisper." Illustrated Hits.
After un affuotlng srouno at a lay
tho men all blow tlvulr none vigorous
ly, and the women at Choir eye. A
man's vnay ot crying Is to blow blr.lnx have changed) any time you want
3rSf-" . .ia (tSJakv
teareaNeN
"I understand the new inngailne lint
a high standard." "Indeed It ha. It
will run atKiut n blink, and then stop.
-Youkcr Statesman,
Authorr- I'm very happy In my
married life. I find my huslmtid audi
a help. Friend-1 ndii ill Di h
cook, or write?- l'llegetide Hlaellrr.
'.Maude w,i nfrald the girl wouldn't
notice her engagement ring." "Did
they?" "Did Iheyl Six of them rce
ogulxed II at one." Cleveland I'Uln
Dealer,
"I hear yer frlrn' Tammm' umrrlet
again." "Aye, so he I, He'a ltii a
dear frlen' lae inn. He' cost tilt Ihreo
wedillu' present nn' twn wreath" -
Umdim Tttlllt.
"I your husband tornrlnu lu hU
appetite, madam?" "I cnii't ay ns U
Is, doctor. He'll eal nnythluk and ev
rrythlnk a long a there nnjlhlnk
to eat." Ilaliluioro American
He- If you rrfllM. mn I shall go out
and hang mjeolf tu the lmnt In
front of your Innm She Now, Heiirgr,
J'u kiww fu'lier wild he w.iuldn'l hav
J" hanging around here.-- I.lfc.
I "V.tr Congress Ih- session?"
1 "No," replied Fanner CiiImiss, "tint I
.know how It lk. I hev a III nil man
who kin git a buy doing nolliln' st
milling on earth."WHlngteu Her
ald. Mr Ncwlywed Hut, my love, why
are you weeping? Mr. Nrwlywrd -Oh,
John! John! I Jut eeil Into
the kitchen ami saw that itik ha
mi her traveling gwn. Harper'
Weekly
"I want a man to do odd JN about
the houte, run on errand, one that
never answers bark am! I mIwnj ready
to do my bidding" "You're looking fur
a huiband, ma'am, not a man"- Th
JewUh lilger
111 Tragerdy Yes, ere openeit In (h
koh. Isiwe Comenly And what did
your audience think of your "Ham
let?" HI Tragerdy Wey er- he went
out before I had chance to ask htm.
--Philadelphia I'rrsa.
Ctieer up, old man," said the nnis.il
Ing friend. "You know love laughs at
locksmiths." "Yea. I know," replied
th dejected lover. "Hut her father
ain't a locksmith; he'a a bollcrmakrr"
-Detroit Free I'rrsa.
He-Mo your father thought I want
ed to marry you for our money Whl
did you y? She I persuaded him
that rou didn't, and then he said If
lit,., ... it,. n,n itnln'i ha mr
chuckled the youth. "When I first
started In life I couldn't walk." -The
Catholic New.
NellHe doesn't know anything
about the little niceties of nylug at
tention lo girl. Helle Why, I aw
him typing your shoestring. Nell -Yea
but'tie tied It In a double knot, so
It couldn't come uutlrd again. Phlla
..... .. .
UWP "ewni.
"What you want I a trnogrnphrr
wn0 "P1' nti lolutely nccurale."
Oon-I""'" n,wfrMl Mr H8l.
"rapid-
Ity is all right, but as to sccurary-"
well, I don't want to he held down
strictly to my own Ideaa of grammar,"
-Washington Star,
Mis Cutting I see by the paper
that ill th swell set was at the As
sembly ball Isst night. Mlaa Mclllurf
Yes) I expected to be there, hut wss
prevented Miss Cutting The Ideal
I hope the doorkeeper wasn't rough
with you, dear. Catholic Standard and
Time.
Tommy Do you believe It Is fortu
nate to be the seventh son? Mickey
Now I I'm tho seventh son. Tommy
Hut tho fortune teller say tho seventh
ion has all kinds of lurk handed down
to him, Mickey Huh I All I havu
handed down io me Is mo six hrnthrrn'
old clothes. Chicago Now.
First Oi'iitlt'innn (entering tha apart
stent of second gentleman) -About a
rear ago you challenged mn to fight
i duel. Second Oeutlemiiu (sternly)-'
I did, sir, First ticntlemitu And I
told you that I had Just got married,
ind I did not enro to risk my life
it any hatard. Second (luutlemati
(haughtily) I remember, sir. First
Ocntleinan (bitterly)- Well, my feol-
to fight, Ut mo know, Human Life.