The Trail of the Dead: a THE STRANGE EXPERIENCE OF DR. ROBERT MARLAND By B. FLETCHER ROBINSON and J. MALCOLM ERASER (Ctptr'lht. 1903, by Joseph B. Bowles) CHAPTKIt XII. AVe drew up swiftly four hundred yards three hundred ranis one hundred And then, with a short, fierce bark of nice, the Pole dragged out his re volver and fired. Aa he did no, the sharp Jinm of n bullet, like the Imu of an nngry bee, fled oTer us I ducked my liead at the sound; but I Rite myself the credit of saying that 1 poked It up again the next moment. "May tho fiend crip him. but he has a. Mauser pistol!" cried Reiki, and I saw that the weapon In his own hand was f)f the common bulldog make. "At this range I can do nothing agaitiit him." He lashed his horses, and they plunged gallantly forward. I could see that Mar- nac had stopped his sleigh and wna cud dling his weapon with a perfect cool ness Even at that distance I seemed to feel the gjggling murder In his eyes. Zip! zip! lie had misted again! Thung! I saw one of the galloping horses stagger, and then his lie.nl and dinnlders seemed to fall away, as if he bad dropped forward into a hole. There was a bumping and a twitting wrench, the snow by the roadside seemed to spring up at me. and the nest Instant I van struggling in cold, blinding darkness I urigg.ed out from the drift, gasp ing, with the Hakes in my mouth and ryes. The sleigh was twited across the road, half covering the dead horse. The other two had scrambled to their feet And now stood shivering, with drooping lieads Tho fall had knocked the heart clean out of them. Iteskl lay beside them, huddled wnere he had fallen. Ihxhty yards away Marnac had stopped nJ was watching us. He seemed satis fied with what he saw, for presently he turned and, lashing his team, trotted ou tlimn the road. I don't suppose It was more than a couple of minutes before ItesM came round, though it seemed long enough tu me. lie had got a nasty thump ou the liead, but as a matter of fact his wrist turned out to be tue more serious busi ness being very badly sprained Indeed. I made a sling oat of a neck wrap and filed him up as well as I was able. The man had a remarkable rltaiity, beside brute courage, for, the moment I had finished, he walked over and examined the alelglt. It looked hopeless enough. One of the runners had been torn almost dean away, and the central (tart was badly cracked. The body of the poor lad, Iran lay on its back In the roadway, staring up at the sky. I threw a rug orer it. "Well, we can't gu on, that's certain," I sild. "Not in the sle.'gh, uieln Ilerr," he answered calmly. "And how else?" "There are the burses, one for eaeh. When you hare freed them of their har ness. I will ask you to assist me to mount" There was no good argalag with him, and I was ashamed to seem less eager than a man in his crippled condition With his clasp knife I cut the twisted trace away and freed them of their col.ars. At his direction I dragged the bod) of Iran into the sleigh and left him there decently covered. Iteskl mounted from tfie stump of n tree, to which I led the stronger of the pair. I wa a fairly good rider, but I vras excessively stiff from my long drive, and not a little shaken by my fall. My beast seemed to hare the sharpest knife bone of a hack that Nature ever gave to horseflesh. Hut, after all, there was Nothing to be gained by grumbling. Per baps I was growing wiser by painful ex perience. A curious pair we must have looked that morning. Iteskl. with his arm in a sling, aud the butt of his revolver peep lug from his waist belt, would have made ax good a stage brigand as need be. For myself, I was in too much of immediate (mlii from the Jolting trot of the brute 1 rule to carry a formidable appearaiu-o. 1 could never have imagined that a horse lived with such adamantine fet locks as mine seemed to poes. I have no exact record of the time, but I should imagine that it was about half an hour later that we sighted Mar nac again. He was thou u good three quarters of a mile ahead, but traveling leisurely. Also, I was very glad to no tice that we were tree of the waste lauds, and that the splro of a church was pok ing out amongst some poplar ahead of IiIdi. lie would never dare to use his revolver a second time when men weru .about. Also, we might procure unuther alelgh and team. Iteskl sent his heels into his horse, and we quickened our pice, though the poor brute were getting very done and drove heavily along witli bunging heads. It was about then that 1 noticed a man be hind us. We were topping a slight rise when I looked round. He was then some dis tance in our rear, but coming up fast. As far as I could make out, he was in a sort of uniform ami well mounted. The pos sibility of ottldal help was very pleas ant. We were gaining on Marnac, who had not yet noticed us. With kicks and curses from Iteskl, and the application of a hazel branch from myself, wo had squeezed a lumbering gallop out of our horses. The sleigh was not more than one hundred yards away, Iteskl gripped his reins lu his teeth and drew bli revolve. "Stop, there! btop, I say, In tho name of the law!" It was the man from behind who hail ed us, but we rode on. "Stop, or I fire!" 1 pulled up. I don't thtnk it was very eowanlly when you think of It. HeslJes, I was anxious to explain. Iteskl rode on. Tho man who had shouted flashed by me. traveling at an easy gallop. He was dressed In a neat greeu uniform aud carried a drawn revolver, Iteskl rode on. It was all over In a moment. The stranger cried another warning, to which the Pole answered with a snarl over his shoulder. The next Instant there was a sharp renort, and ItesM's horse pitched forward, throwing his rider clear. Ho was then scarcely thirty yards from Mar tiac's sleigh. The Pole was not hurt apparently, for dc-splte his Injured arm he scrambled to his feet In an Instant, ltut he had lost his revolver In his fall nud was helpless. tie began n furious explanation lu his na tional tongue, dropping the hated lan guage of his Teuton conquerors. "Speak lu tier man, you Polish dog!" growled his captor, and then turning on me as I nle up "Here, you," be said, "dismount and stand by your accomplice. If you resist, I shoot!" I obeyed. From his manner he was without doubt a policeman. Also I re spect the law. "Now, you," he said, addressing me, "explain. If you can, who Is that man you shot and left in the broken sleigh down yonder. Hemember, It Is against you that you have already tried to ev cape and refused to surrender." "There Is the munlerer, mcln Herr!" I cried, pointing to Marnac' sleigh, now rapidly vanishing. "We were chasing him. do after him at once, or he will get away." The policeman laughed long and loud. "A pretty tale!" said he. "This dog of a Pole here has been in mischief, without doubt: and you, you who are" "An Englishman," I said proudly. "Aha! perhaps you thought you were once more murdering the helpless Hocr. A Pole and an Englishman J Ah, me! It Is no wonder that together they batch ed some fiendish contrivance." It was no use to make a further ap peal. Iteskl had seen that already. Side by side we tramped through the snow, with our captor and his ready pistol be hind us. In half an hour we bad reach ed the village we had seen ahead, and were lodged In a cell infamously damp and cold. All communication with our friends was refused till the arrlral of some local magistrate. As eleren o'clock hammered from the steeple outside, Iteskl raised hi bead from his chest and glared across at me. "He will bare arrived at Knese," be said. "There Is a great eholee of trains," It was true enough. Marnac had es caped us Mice again. IV. THE ANONYMOUS AI1TICI.E. In my narrative of the pursuit of Prof. Kudolf Marnac, it will have been observ el that Fortune had been cold to us In the Ineideut which I tiow relate we were to Home extent more favored: for though our supreme object was not achieved, we were yet enabled to save the life of her who Is dearest to me In all the world. I have told you of the homicidal ma nia which fell upon the professor, and of the series of events which caused my cousin, Sir Henry Oradeti, the emi nent scientist and explorer; to be asso ciated with a Heidelberg student, as I tbeu was, In an effort to contrive his cap ture. How we failed to bring about tho murderer's arrest in Poland, through the stupidity of a forest guard, I have al ready explained. Ily the time 1 hud obtained my release, Marnac had ngain disappeared. A linguist well provided with money, and on all points but one perfectly sane, had no difficulty In fliidjug refuge In the cities of Europe. I have been in some doubt as to the best means of briefly describing the pres ent incident. Miss Mary Weston, with whom I discussed the mutter, lit ouee offered to place her diary at my disposal. l'Mu its perusal 1 suggested that she should herself extract the necessary items, adding such introduction and ex planatory notes as seemed necessary. To this she has very kindly consented: and the tirst portion of this remarkable story 1 therefore leave lu her hunds. MISS MAItY WESTON'S NAItltA TIVE. CIIAPTHIt XIII. It was In the winter of 1810 that my father's health began to fail. In the May of the following year I returned from my school near Paris, and Instead of entering at Olrtou, as my father hail previously arranged, I became Ids secre tary. I was then Just eighteen. I did the very best I could, and In his dear, kind way, he made ;ne forget my mis eries at the endless blunders I commit ted. You see, there were only we two; for my mother died shortly after I was born, aud I was their only child. We saw few people at our little house, which was on tho Trumpington road, Just out side Cambridge. Ladles I met -would often pity me for the dull and lonely life I led, and that used to make me very angry. We were never dull or lonely, my dear father aud U It may seem absurd that so dlstln guNhed n man as Dr. Weston. M, A I). Sc, F. It. S the Hcglus Professor of Physic nt Cambridge, should have re lied on the help of u half-educated school girl. Hut he was always pleased to say that my love and sympathy were worth far more to him In bis work than If ho had boon served by the cleverest woman that ever headed nil honor Hit. I well remember tho appearance of Prof, Maniac's book, "Science and Ho llglon," which was published simultane ously lu (lerman aud. English at the be ginning of the June of that year. My father was violently opposed to It, but I j was far more concerned over the statu Into which It threw him than I was alxitit the book, which, as a matter of fact, I never read. He dictated to mn a most severe criticism, which at his Instructions I sent to the editor of the University Itevlew at UK! A, Henrietta street, Co- vent tiarden. Iudoti. Tho article was signed "Cantab," a pseudonym that my fattier often used, as he bud the greatest objection to publicity. About ten days after the August Uni versity appeared that being the number which contained his article my father received an anonymous letter. It was my duty to open and sort his correspon dence, aud I wns thus able to intercept It. It was addressed to "Cantab," and had been forwarded, unopened, by the editor of the review. The envelope bore a Ocrman stamp, but the post-murk had been smeared and was qulto (indistin guishable. The letter was neatly written in English. It consisted almost entire)? of the mot violent personal threats against my father. The writer declared that he would soon tlnd out "Cantab's" real name, and would suitably repay him Tor his slanders against the greatest scientific work of the century. I was very frightened about It, but several friends to whom I showed the letter laughed away my fears, saying It was undoubtedly the work of some madman, and advising me to burn It. This I did. I never mentioned the affair to my fath er, whose health was giving me great anxiety at the time. During September my father had tak en a cottage on the Cornish coast, aud when the end of the Iong Vacation came, the doctors forbade his retunl to Cambridge. I had hanl work to per suade him that It was best to obey their orders; but at last he gave In, aud we settled, down for the winter. The cottage was built at the foot of a low hill strewn with boulders and torn by the autumn rains. Upon Its summit the chimney of an abandoned tin mine roe against the sky like a vast flag pole, with rootless buildings grouped around it In melancholy decay. It was always a depressing sot to me, and I rarely visited It, Hough the view was splendid. About half a mile before the cottage the moorland ended abruptly in a line of glorious clifTs, two hundred and fifty fret of granite and shining porph yry from brow to breaker. This was my favorite walk. I loved to crawl to the edge, that I might peer over at the rrefs that sprang out from the tumbled rocks at the rlltT foot like the hones of a giant's hand. 1 have Is in thus for hours watch ing the great rollers advancing In that stately, inexorable march of theirs, rank following rank, until they burst In thun derous green fountains of foam. Some times, when a fierce wind blew from the southwest, the spray they hurled Into the air would wet Hiy face, even where I lay so Infinitely far above them. Between the cottage a lei the elltT the ground dipped lulu a little glen, or guyal, as the country folks railed It. choked with storm-twisted trees and deep with goree and ferns. Through it mn our cart track, winding down to the fishing Tillage of Polleveii, where the tiny, stone roofed bouse clung to a gap In the cllf! wall like barnacles ou a rock. Hesldes my father and myself, Mar jory, our cook-housekeeper, who had been with us ever since I could remem ber, was the only other Inhabitant of the cottage. On Tuesdays and Thursdays a red-cheeked maiden, who had quite re markable powers of breaking crockery, came to help from Polleveii. Ho were we living on Nov. 1!7. Fnun that date I will chiefly rely upon my diary for the details of my terrible ex perience. Please do not laugh at the form In which I wrote it. Mr. Harlatid has asked me to make no alterations, uud so here It is. (To be continued.) .tssVi MhdZlZ--"Vry2 S2S3tt t'rrstcil White Ducks. VrolWs nf Middlemen. Consumers of fruit niitl vogotnblM In Intw cities urn charged high price by tbi hucksters mill gnn'or. In Chi cago pouches tiro selling retail for tblr ty-llvo or forty mils for n hiiiiiII basket containing about twenty to twenty ihu poniiica; other fruits mid icgotablo III proportion, it would be Interesting to farmers to know Just Imw much of this Is booked ns profits, runners get no such price; lu fuel they are lucky If they get ono-thlnl of tin prlii now prevailing In Chicago. Either some Hullotln No. (II of the Department class of handlers Is iimklug exorbitant of Agriculture nays of the Created prollts or there Is mi unnevi-uiiiry ox- White duck : pcuso attached to the business of ills- The Cnted White duck I what may trlhutlou. It costs money to handle bo called an ornamental duck, much the pnnlmv. It requires storage, horse snino n Polish chickens. They are un, men, mid none of these things an not bred to uny groat extent In till cheap In (tu city, but there Is no good country, nud they nro tory seldom seen reason why the consumer should pay lu tlu hIiowtooiiis. They hnvo no cs- Uireo hundred per cent profit on what IKH-Iul vnlins to the f tinner, s U'tter tb( fanner noil. Knrtii, Field and and more easily bred birds nro to bo 1'lrosldo, Jt r V fl&j-F N rf,WSrf,S,WN,W found lu the I'ekln and Aylesbury Those ducks luivo a modltun-alited bead; inodluui-sUod bill, n largo, well balanced cro-d umii tho crown of tho head; a nithor long neck; u medium length back; breast, round and full: body, round uud of medium length; lucdlutu-lcngUi wing that smoothly fold; hunt, stiff tall feather, with well-curled feathers lu tho tall of drake; aud short and stout thighs nud shanks. Their eyes ar lorgo and bright nud of ii deep louden blue or gray color. The Mlianks, toes aud webs arc of a light orange; color. UtCMTtll WIIITK KXK. The standard weight of the adult drake Is seven kmiikU; adiik ilwck. six muihIs; ymiiig drake, six huim1, and ioung duck, tho toiimls. .'Sol lo lie Trnslril. After u wordy anjiunuiit In which neither scored two Irbilimoii dutiiloil to light It out. It whs Mgreod Unit vvliuii either ftald "I've enough" tlio light should l-OHK. After they liml been at It for about till minutes onif of thorn foil nud liu inedlatoly yelled: "Enough! Pro unough I" Hut bis opjuiiout kept on pounding lilm until a mail who wim watcliln,' said : "Why don't you lot lilm up? He says he'a got unough." "I know ho Hiiya so," mild tho victor, between punches, "but lie's miiuIi a liar you win't believe, a word ho says." Washington Post. .1 .Hplrnilhl IVtirnl Crop. The annual crop ami business retxirt of tht Commercial National Hank of Chicago, covering the MIssIssIk.n Val ley, ami a few of the more iHtfxirtHHt States of tho Pacific eimt. says. In part - "Tin whcut rrop of ll0il will bo HiiHMig the largest ami host ever pni dueed. The ylehl not only will I great. Ihu the weight ami quality will be far beyond the ordinary. In those re!ecu It may Is considered nearly Iorfect. The period of um-ertfllnty Is t'Hdn; rapidly ami the crop ftwy how Ih called practically (Hit of danger. Thf ylehl t soft winter wheat Is large, iiuallty the t)int and moiwiumt free. luaiuttWi as thU lien omen t has Ix'gtin early and all grains arc now nearly or quite oh nh oxrt baJ (with the ten dency of prhvH downward), n largo ox- Krt MislUHstf may 1m oxioctl." The lloMirr l'ov. Two cows cost $ each n your for keep- u of them yields I.IMHI quarts of milk a jour, that bring t. Tho other yields l.'.iHi quarts, that bring $'.'ik Tho latter loses about l nnd rcdmvs tho gain ou the former from fid to yxi. Why do on keep that I.'.In). quart cowl You would le bettor off with the one that clears fill, for yoti would have only half tho lutcstiucut, half tin Mork and half tin feeding, nnd you would gain $11 emit year. There would 1h no surplus butter on tin market for years to come olid prlii would rule strong If all the rows wen eliminated which are kept at h loss Ualry fanners liaio nut jet half waked up to an uuderstniHllug of the great practical luqiortaneo of n'eisl lug out the unprofitable cows from their herds Many a man would make a fair profit, that now faces constant loss. If he would keep only such cows ns pay a profit on their keep. Markrtliiic I'm nil I'roilure. A small farmer wlw has nude, n sue co of marketing bis produce gives sound ami Ingenious advice lu n recent magazine. Ills preliminary work sug gests Hannah (llaso'H famous preface to her Instructions for cooking hare: "First find a lady customer." Is his ad vie. To her sell nothing but the choicest of fruit and produce. It will not Ik long before alio will acquaint hr friends, and they lu turn will pass along the word to others. It pays to sell nothing but the best ; the Inferior produeo can bo fed to Mock, and In a short time the fanner will Hud lie has a good market and a good price, with no leakage of profit to the middleman. HltMl .Venn Interest. Towiil So Grwithead la dying, eh? Is ho resigned? Hrowuo Yea, ho la now, but tho ex citement over tho Han Fruntiaco din aster bud lilm worried for a time. Towno Why, 1iow7 Itrowno It occupied ho much (.pace In tho licwKimporH ho wua afraid Ida obltunry would bo blighted. Philadel phia PreiM. No I'ralenae. "Bo you want to work?" "Pleaso don't misunderstand me. I don't want to work, but I'vo got to," Philadelphia Ledger. Cuciliilhrra. I raise live erojn Instead of ono on din Kami) ground, and ou tho aaiuo vines with hardly any extni work. Plant lu tin usual way. When a eucuinber Is taken from tho vino lot It bo cut with a knife, leaving nlout an eighth of an Inch of tho riiciiiiilMtr on tho atom. Thou allt the atom with u knife from Ha end to tho vino twice, leaving a small por tion or tbe cueuiulier ou each division. Ou ouch ncparato ullt there will bn n cucumber us large an tho flint. My this method you will only need nno-flftli tho ground that you would need If grow ing cunimhoiH lu tho old way, Waltor KtroHiildcr lu KpltoiiiUt. Moot noil Ninoke Kill Ciillle. What waa at llrat thought to have been a contagious iIIhciiko among cowa belonging to AllaiiKon llullcock. of WaHhlugtonvllle, near Mlddlotou, N. Y has Ix-on discovered to bo tho result of too much wnoko anil soot. Eight cattlo died and post-mortem examinations luivo shown largo quantities of soot In their atonmcliH. Near tho place where tho cowa wero pastured n largo atcani shovel Ima been operating and clouds of Htuoko from tho engine nettled iiKm tho wet grass upon which tho animals fed. llrnif lliirars. The weight of a horse Is an lmKirt ant Item lu estimating his value for draft Hires. for the fine-honed horse. with Well-del eloped muscles, may do as much work as the heavy-boned one for a short time, and Is even t-iter for road purpose. Hut In 'dowlng, or other heavy, steady drawing, (ho light horc Is less useful. Then, lu Kioe. the weight Is an Im'Mirtant Item. If a gtsal horse weighs oer '.!.Xsi munds he may Mrsidy sell for as much as f per !hiihI, ami from I-)' to '.'.(NO Miuuds, for less, Hie price rapidly declining, I .'.ml to rfVMi iHiuiid horses selling at frimi 10 lo ."VI ci wit Hr ihiiiiiiI. though k Is considerably more than any other grade of stock on the farm will bring If tho IrorstM are well bred. Water rnlril hj- ('urn. Much Interest has lately Ihvh mani fest is 1 In determining the exact amount of water ri-qulrod for the growth of plants. This Is Just as uiNirtunt In the east as In the Irrigated region, for we often have droughts which made necessary the iihwi careful cultivation to prevent plants fnun rUifTerliig. Pro feor Clothier Ima found that after com becomes two feet high each stalk uos up three (annuls of water a day until the ears mature. This Is equiva lent to an Inch of rain a week. In nglous where tho average rainfall Is tower, and where a gMl, milky quality nf sweet corn Is ileslri-d In the garden during August nud September, It Is ob viously niieessary to have the soil lu the most perfect state of cultivation ao as to retain as much uioUtuni as Is needed. HoicIIIiikImk Trtip. The frame for this hog-rlnglng trap should In made of Hxl-lncli lumber bolted togother at comers. The dltuou- : Y : HIMl'I.K Iton-IIIMIJIMU THAI, sinus are I feet - Inches long, 2 feet I Inches high ami I foot (I Inches wide. There Is n sliding door at the back end. When tho hog puts his head thnmgli the halo lu front, Jam tho lover against hla neck. To l-'eeit llnrlej- lo Horses, Parley has ns yet been Utile used for lioreos In the eastern mrt of the Unit ed Htn tea, probably beeatiNo of Its gun oral high price. On tho Paclik- const It la extensively used for breeding horses at all kinds of work. Where tho horso'a tooth nro good and the labor not sovero, barley limy bo fed whole, (I round barley Is uuplcuHiiut to tho horno while rating, and If, Instead of grinding, tho grains nro crushed to flattened disks between Iron rollers, they nro more palutablo itiid uccentubla 1 to tho horse. "Arabella," called (ho father from tho head of tho stairs, "Is that young man gouo?" "Yes, father. Couiplctu. ly." Teacher Why did tho ancients be. Hove the earth to bo flat? Ilrlght Hoy Cause they didn't Iiumi no school globes to prove. It was round. "I, sir," began Hragg. "am a ef- uutdo man." "Yes," replied Wise, "but why aNilogUo now? That won't help mutter."-- Philadelphia Press. Mrs. Madison How" do joii like your new iielghlsirs? Mrs. Hjor I iluii't kutiw. I haven't tried to Isirrow any thing yet. Town aud County. lilggs I understand Hint lllgglii Is quite a cloor llnancler. Illgg Well, he Isn't. Why, that man never beat ati)lMHly out or u cent lu his life. "Algy, don't )ou find married life more oipenslve I tut n laieholorhiMiil?" "Well, It tuny In more ea-nsve than a rigidly single life, but It's cheaper than courtship," Senior Partner There's one thing to bo said lu faor of classical lutisle. Junior Partner What Is that? Senior Partner The otttew Imy can't whistle It. Chicago News, Mrs. Flip I bate Just Is-eu talking to a sKclallst, aud bo a)s my brain iltallty has all hoiio to my long Iwlr. lo you ladleui It? Flip -Well, er I knew It had gone! Del ndt Free Press. Medical Student -What did you op erate ou (hat man for? Eminent Sur geon FIvh hundred tlollars. .Medical Student I mean, what did he liav'? Eminent Surgeon Phe hundred do. lars.-Puck. At the Oarage. Hoy Mr. Smith Is telephoning for hi machine. Can you scud It to lilm (inlay? Head Man Don't see how wo can. Why. this ma chine Is the only one anrnml hero Nt to ue! 1,1ft. "Is there any available substitute for rutilmr?" sskesl tlw Instructor of tlm class. "Ys, sir," answered Mis I to Mulr, one of the fair coeds "I think stare' or 'gaK' Is Jut as gssMl." Ctil- iago Trlbutw. Orcen I canmit understaml why Ito Short wants a dUnrco. Ills wife had nearly half a ml 1 1 loo whe)i he marrleil Iter. Ilniwn Yis, and has eery dollar of It jet. That' the trouble. Chicago Dally New. "Vos, I'm gsdng to spend a few weeks at K lineman's mimmer resort. My stomach Is alt out of order, ami I need a rest." "Well, ywir stiHwarh will set a ssmhI rest there, list, I know thu (dsce." ('hli-aso Tribune. I siipHie that some of ytHir battle seaiis art) lery realistic?" said tho s)iiiMthlxr. "Ye," said the hum actor. "I have ImtKoxmatod NaiMileoii at Water Iihi several times when real shells weru lairntlng all alsiut me." Kansas City Time. "Mamma, what nro twin?" asked lit tle Hobby. "Oh, I know," chimed lu Dorothy, with all tho auorlorlty of in elder sister. "Twins Is two I w bios Just tho same ago; three Is triplets, four H quiiilriiH'ds ami tlvv Is ccutlpiMles." llnriKir's Weekly. "You'll bine to fix the mnuii over In fo re I can buy It," said thu till tor. "There npsars to bo something tho matter with Its feet. "I would hao )ou umlenitaiid, sir," said tho bard, with dignity, "that I am a aot nud not I ehlroMlt." Clovsland Inilur. "Tonuiiy, what ancient king wns It who played ou tho flddlu while Homu was btirnlugr "Hector, ma'am." "No, no not lloolor." "Thou It was Hook." "Duke? What do jou tuoau, TiMiuuy?" 'Well, then It must a' been Nero. I know oil It WUZ souuihndy with u dog's IIIIUIO," A reporter of tho Paris Matin tried lo purchase a genuine HiK-kufullur In tervlow with a chock for I,mm, Ho failed. Thu proper way to uiako an American millionaire talk la not to offur lilm a thousand dollars, hut to try to got n thousand dollars away from lilm. Puck. "I would lllto n pound of your golf sausage," she said to tho butcher. "Coif sausage? Sorry, madam, but wo don't handle It, Wo havo blood sausage, Hvoruiirst, hum miiimigo, ami other kinds, but no golf sausage," "Oh, dear, I'm no orry, My husband said ho much preferred tho kind Hindu lu llnka." Milwaukee Suutlnul. A little girl wua out walking with hor aunt one day, Tho aunt Ihiwoi! to a man they wero passing. "Who la ho, Aunt Joiiulo?" asked tho llttlu girl, Mrs, l.lttlellelil told her that ho wua Mr. MulroHo, tho village iiiulurliikur. "Oil, yea," replied tho child quickly, "I reinciiiler him, Ho undertook my grandmother." Harper's llaxar. Hecnuso sisters call each other "houoy" boforo peoplo Is no algu tuttf do not fius lu prlvato life.