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About The Bend bulletin. (Bend, Or.) 1903-1931 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 5, 1906)
The Trail of the Dead:
a THE STRANGE EXPERIENCE
OF DR. ROBERT MARLAND
By B. FLETCHER ROBINSON and J. MALCOLM ERASER
(Ctptr'lht. 1903, by Joseph B. Bowles)
AVe drew up swiftly four hundred
yards three hundred ranis one hundred
And then, with a short, fierce bark
of nice, the Pole dragged out his re
volver and fired. Aa he did no, the sharp
Jinm of n bullet, like the Imu of an
nngry bee, fled oTer us I ducked my
liead at the sound; but I Rite myself the
credit of saying that 1 poked It up again
the next moment.
"May tho fiend crip him. but he has
a. Mauser pistol!" cried Reiki, and I saw
that the weapon In his own hand was
f)f the common bulldog make. "At this
range I can do nothing agaitiit him."
He lashed his horses, and they plunged
gallantly forward. I could see that Mar-
nac had stopped his sleigh and wna cud
dling his weapon with a perfect cool
ness Even at that distance I seemed
to feel the gjggling murder In his eyes.
Zip! zip! lie had misted again!
Thung! I saw one of the galloping
horses stagger, and then his lie.nl and
dinnlders seemed to fall away, as if he
bad dropped forward into a hole. There
was a bumping and a twitting wrench,
the snow by the roadside seemed to
spring up at me. and the nest Instant I
van struggling in cold, blinding darkness
I urigg.ed out from the drift, gasp
ing, with the Hakes in my mouth and
ryes. The sleigh was twited across the
road, half covering the dead horse. The
other two had scrambled to their feet
And now stood shivering, with drooping
lieads Tho fall had knocked the heart
clean out of them. Iteskl lay beside
them, huddled wnere he had fallen.
Ihxhty yards away Marnac had stopped
nJ was watching us. He seemed satis
fied with what he saw, for presently he
turned and, lashing his team, trotted ou
tlimn the road.
I don't suppose It was more than a
couple of minutes before ItesM came
round, though it seemed long enough tu
me. lie had got a nasty thump ou the
liead, but as a matter of fact his wrist
turned out to be tue more serious busi
ness being very badly sprained Indeed.
I made a sling oat of a neck wrap and
filed him up as well as I was able. The
man had a remarkable rltaiity, beside
brute courage, for, the moment I had
finished, he walked over and examined
It looked hopeless enough. One of the
runners had been torn almost dean away,
and the central (tart was badly cracked.
The body of the poor lad, Iran lay on its
back In the roadway, staring up at the
sky. I threw a rug orer it.
"Well, we can't gu on, that's certain,"
"Not in the sle.'gh, uieln Ilerr," he
"And how else?"
"There are the burses, one for eaeh.
When you hare freed them of their har
ness. I will ask you to assist me to
There was no good argalag with him,
and I was ashamed to seem less eager
than a man in his crippled condition
With his clasp knife I cut the twisted
trace away and freed them of their
col.ars. At his direction I dragged the
bod) of Iran into the sleigh and left him
there decently covered.
Iteskl mounted from tfie stump of n
tree, to which I led the stronger of the
pair. I wa a fairly good rider, but I
vras excessively stiff from my long drive,
and not a little shaken by my fall. My
beast seemed to hare the sharpest knife
bone of a hack that Nature ever gave
to horseflesh. Hut, after all, there was
Nothing to be gained by grumbling. Per
baps I was growing wiser by painful ex
perience. A curious pair we must have looked
that morning. Iteskl. with his arm in a
sling, aud the butt of his revolver peep
lug from his waist belt, would have made
ax good a stage brigand as need be. For
myself, I was in too much of immediate
(mlii from the Jolting trot of the brute
1 rule to carry a formidable appearaiu-o.
1 could never have imagined that a
horse lived with such adamantine fet
locks as mine seemed to poes.
I have no exact record of the time,
but I should imagine that it was about
half an hour later that we sighted Mar
nac again. He was thou u good three
quarters of a mile ahead, but traveling
leisurely. Also, I was very glad to no
tice that we were tree of the waste lauds,
and that the splro of a church was pok
ing out amongst some poplar ahead of
IiIdi. lie would never dare to use his
revolver a second time when men weru
.about. Also, we might procure unuther
alelgh and team.
Iteskl sent his heels into his horse, and
we quickened our pice, though the poor
brute were getting very done and drove
heavily along witli bunging heads. It
was about then that 1 noticed a man be
We were topping a slight rise when I
looked round. He was then some dis
tance in our rear, but coming up fast. As
far as I could make out, he was in a sort
of uniform ami well mounted. The pos
sibility of ottldal help was very pleas
ant. We were gaining on Marnac, who had
not yet noticed us.
With kicks and curses from Iteskl, and
the application of a hazel branch from
myself, wo had squeezed a lumbering
gallop out of our horses. The sleigh was
not more than one hundred yards away,
Iteskl gripped his reins lu his teeth and
drew bli revolve.
"Stop, there! btop, I say, In tho name
of the law!"
It was the man from behind who hail
ed us, but we rode on.
"Stop, or I fire!"
1 pulled up. I don't thtnk it was very
eowanlly when you think of It. HeslJes,
I was anxious to explain.
Iteskl rode on.
Tho man who had shouted flashed by
me. traveling at an easy gallop. He was
dressed In a neat greeu uniform aud
carried a drawn revolver,
Iteskl rode on.
It was all over In a moment. The
stranger cried another warning, to which
the Pole answered with a snarl over his
shoulder. The next Instant there was a
sharp renort, and ItesM's horse pitched
forward, throwing his rider clear. Ho
was then scarcely thirty yards from Mar
The Pole was not hurt apparently, for
dc-splte his Injured arm he scrambled to
his feet In an Instant, ltut he had lost
his revolver In his fall nud was helpless.
tie began n furious explanation lu his na
tional tongue, dropping the hated lan
guage of his Teuton conquerors.
"Speak lu tier man, you Polish dog!"
growled his captor, and then turning on
me as I nle up
"Here, you," be said, "dismount and
stand by your accomplice. If you resist,
I obeyed. From his manner he was
without doubt a policeman. Also I re
spect the law.
"Now, you," he said, addressing me,
"explain. If you can, who Is that man
you shot and left in the broken sleigh
down yonder. Hemember, It Is against
you that you have already tried to ev
cape and refused to surrender."
"There Is the munlerer, mcln Herr!"
I cried, pointing to Marnac' sleigh, now
rapidly vanishing. "We were chasing
him. do after him at once, or he will
The policeman laughed long and loud.
"A pretty tale!" said he. "This dog
of a Pole here has been in mischief,
without doubt: and you, you who are"
"An Englishman," I said proudly.
"Aha! perhaps you thought you were
once more murdering the helpless Hocr.
A Pole and an Englishman J Ah, me!
It Is no wonder that together they batch
ed some fiendish contrivance."
It was no use to make a further ap
peal. Iteskl had seen that already. Side
by side we tramped through the snow,
with our captor and his ready pistol be
hind us. In half an hour we bad reach
ed the village we had seen ahead, and
were lodged In a cell infamously damp
and cold. All communication with our
friends was refused till the arrlral of
some local magistrate.
As eleren o'clock hammered from the
steeple outside, Iteskl raised hi bead
from his chest and glared across at me.
"He will bare arrived at Knese," be
said. "There Is a great eholee of trains,"
It was true enough. Marnac had es
caped us Mice again.
IV. THE ANONYMOUS AI1TICI.E.
In my narrative of the pursuit of Prof.
Kudolf Marnac, it will have been observ
el that Fortune had been cold to us In
the Ineideut which I tiow relate we were
to Home extent more favored: for though
our supreme object was not achieved, we
were yet enabled to save the life of her
who Is dearest to me In all the world.
I have told you of the homicidal ma
nia which fell upon the professor,
and of the series of events which caused
my cousin, Sir Henry Oradeti, the emi
nent scientist and explorer; to be asso
ciated with a Heidelberg student, as I
tbeu was, In an effort to contrive his cap
ture. How we failed to bring about tho
murderer's arrest in Poland, through the
stupidity of a forest guard, I have al
ready explained. Ily the time 1 hud
obtained my release, Marnac had ngain
disappeared. A linguist well provided
with money, and on all points but one
perfectly sane, had no difficulty In fliidjug
refuge In the cities of Europe.
I have been in some doubt as to the
best means of briefly describing the pres
ent incident. Miss Mary Weston, with
whom I discussed the mutter, lit ouee
offered to place her diary at my disposal.
l'Mu its perusal 1 suggested that she
should herself extract the necessary
items, adding such introduction and ex
planatory notes as seemed necessary. To
this she has very kindly consented: and
the tirst portion of this remarkable story
1 therefore leave lu her hunds.
MISS MAItY WESTON'S NAItltA
TIVE. CIIAPTHIt XIII.
It was In the winter of 1810 that my
father's health began to fail. In the
May of the following year I returned
from my school near Paris, and Instead
of entering at Olrtou, as my father hail
previously arranged, I became Ids secre
tary. I was then Just eighteen. I did
the very best I could, and In his dear,
kind way, he made ;ne forget my mis
eries at the endless blunders I commit
ted. You see, there were only we two;
for my mother died shortly after I was
born, aud I was their only child. We
saw few people at our little house, which
was on tho Trumpington road, Just out
side Cambridge. Ladles I met -would
often pity me for the dull and lonely life
I led, and that used to make me very
angry. We were never dull or lonely,
my dear father aud U
It may seem absurd that so dlstln
guNhed n man as Dr. Weston. M, A
I). Sc, F. It. S the Hcglus Professor
of Physic nt Cambridge, should have re
lied on the help of u half-educated school
girl. Hut he was always pleased to say
that my love and sympathy were worth
far more to him In bis work than If ho
had boon served by the cleverest woman
that ever headed nil honor Hit.
I well remember tho appearance of
Prof, Maniac's book, "Science and Ho
llglon," which was published simultane
ously lu (lerman aud. English at the be
ginning of the June of that year. My
father was violently opposed to It, but I
j was far more concerned over the statu
Into which It threw him than I was alxitit
the book, which, as a matter of fact, I
never read. He dictated to mn a most
severe criticism, which at his Instructions
I sent to the editor of the University
Itevlew at UK! A, Henrietta street, Co-
vent tiarden. Iudoti. Tho article was
signed "Cantab," a pseudonym that my
fattier often used, as he bud the greatest
objection to publicity.
About ten days after the August Uni
versity appeared that being the number
which contained his article my father
received an anonymous letter. It was
my duty to open and sort his correspon
dence, aud I wns thus able to intercept
It. It was addressed to "Cantab," and
had been forwarded, unopened, by the
editor of the review. The envelope bore
a Ocrman stamp, but the post-murk had
been smeared and was qulto (indistin
guishable. The letter was neatly written
in English. It consisted almost entire)?
of the mot violent personal threats
against my father. The writer declared
that he would soon tlnd out "Cantab's"
real name, and would suitably repay him
Tor his slanders against the greatest
scientific work of the century. I was
very frightened about It, but several
friends to whom I showed the letter
laughed away my fears, saying It was
undoubtedly the work of some madman,
and advising me to burn It. This I did.
I never mentioned the affair to my fath
er, whose health was giving me great
anxiety at the time.
During September my father had tak
en a cottage on the Cornish coast, aud
when the end of the Iong Vacation
came, the doctors forbade his retunl to
Cambridge. I had hanl work to per
suade him that It was best to obey their
orders; but at last he gave In, aud we
settled, down for the winter.
The cottage was built at the foot of a
low hill strewn with boulders and torn
by the autumn rains. Upon Its summit
the chimney of an abandoned tin mine
roe against the sky like a vast flag
pole, with rootless buildings grouped
around it In melancholy decay. It was
always a depressing sot to me, and I
rarely visited It, Hough the view was
splendid. About half a mile before the
cottage the moorland ended abruptly in
a line of glorious clifTs, two hundred and
fifty fret of granite and shining porph
yry from brow to breaker. This was my
favorite walk. I loved to crawl to the
edge, that I might peer over at the rrefs
that sprang out from the tumbled rocks
at the rlltT foot like the hones of a giant's
hand. 1 have Is in thus for hours watch
ing the great rollers advancing In that
stately, inexorable march of theirs, rank
following rank, until they burst In thun
derous green fountains of foam. Some
times, when a fierce wind blew from the
southwest, the spray they hurled Into the
air would wet Hiy face, even where I lay
so Infinitely far above them.
Between the cottage a lei the elltT the
ground dipped lulu a little glen, or guyal,
as the country folks railed It. choked
with storm-twisted trees and deep with
goree and ferns. Through it mn our
cart track, winding down to the fishing
Tillage of Polleveii, where the tiny, stone
roofed bouse clung to a gap In the cllf!
wall like barnacles ou a rock.
Hesldes my father and myself, Mar
jory, our cook-housekeeper, who had
been with us ever since I could remem
ber, was the only other Inhabitant of the
cottage. On Tuesdays and Thursdays a
red-cheeked maiden, who had quite re
markable powers of breaking crockery,
came to help from Polleveii.
Ho were we living on Nov. 1!7. Fnun
that date I will chiefly rely upon my
diary for the details of my terrible ex
perience. Please do not laugh at the
form In which I wrote it. Mr. Harlatid
has asked me to make no alterations, uud
so here It is.
(To be continued.)
t'rrstcil White Ducks.
VrolWs nf Middlemen.
Consumers of fruit niitl vogotnblM
In Intw cities urn charged high price
by tbi hucksters mill gnn'or. In Chi
cago pouches tiro selling retail for tblr
ty-llvo or forty mils for n hiiiiiII basket
containing about twenty to twenty ihu
poniiica; other fruits mid icgotablo III
proportion, it would be Interesting to
farmers to know Just Imw much of this
Is booked ns profits, runners get no
such price; lu fuel they are lucky If
they get ono-thlnl of tin prlii now
prevailing In Chicago. Either some
Hullotln No. (II of the Department class of handlers Is iimklug exorbitant
of Agriculture nays of the Created prollts or there Is mi unnevi-uiiiry ox-
White duck : pcuso attached to the business of ills-
The Cnted White duck I what may trlhutlou. It costs money to handle
bo called an ornamental duck, much the pnnlmv. It requires storage, horse
snino n Polish chickens. They are un, men, mid none of these things an
not bred to uny groat extent In till cheap In (tu city, but there Is no good
country, nud they nro tory seldom seen reason why the consumer should pay
lu tlu hIiowtooiiis. They hnvo no cs- Uireo hundred per cent profit on what
IKH-Iul vnlins to the f tinner, s U'tter tb( fanner noil. Knrtii, Field and
and more easily bred birds nro to bo 1'lrosldo,
Jt r V fl&j-F N
found lu the I'ekln and Aylesbury
Those ducks luivo a modltun-alited
bead; inodluui-sUod bill, n largo, well
balanced cro-d umii tho crown of tho
head; a nithor long neck; u medium
length back; breast, round and full:
body, round uud of medium length;
lucdlutu-lcngUi wing that smoothly
fold; hunt, stiff tall feather, with
well-curled feathers lu tho tall of
drake; aud short and stout thighs nud
shanks. Their eyes ar lorgo and bright
nud of ii deep louden blue or gray color.
The Mlianks, toes aud webs arc of a
light orange; color.
UtCMTtll WIIITK KXK.
The standard weight of the adult
drake Is seven kmiikU; adiik ilwck. six
muihIs; ymiiig drake, six huim1, and
ioung duck, tho toiimls.
.'Sol lo lie Trnslril.
After u wordy anjiunuiit In which
neither scored two Irbilimoii dutiiloil to
light It out. It whs Mgreod Unit vvliuii
either ftald "I've enough" tlio light
After they liml been at It for about
till minutes onif of thorn foil nud liu
inedlatoly yelled: "Enough! Pro
Hut bis opjuiiout kept on pounding
lilm until a mail who wim watcliln,'
"Why don't you lot lilm up? He
says he'a got unough."
"I know ho Hiiya so," mild tho victor,
between punches, "but lie's miiuIi a liar
you win't believe, a word ho says."
.1 .Hplrnilhl IVtirnl Crop.
The annual crop ami business retxirt
of tht Commercial National Hank of
Chicago, covering the MIssIssIk.n Val
ley, ami a few of the more iHtfxirtHHt
States of tho Pacific eimt. says. In
"Tin whcut rrop of ll0il will bo
HiiHMig the largest ami host ever pni
dueed. The ylehl not only will I
great. Ihu the weight ami quality will
be far beyond the ordinary. In those
re!ecu It may Is considered nearly
Iorfect. The period of um-ertfllnty Is
t'Hdn; rapidly ami the crop ftwy how
Ih called practically (Hit of danger.
Thf ylehl t soft winter wheat Is large,
iiuallty the t)int and moiwiumt free.
luaiuttWi as thU lien omen t has Ix'gtin
early and all grains arc now nearly or
quite oh nh oxrt baJ (with the ten
dency of prhvH downward), n largo ox-
Krt MislUHstf may 1m oxioctl."
The lloMirr l'ov.
Two cows cost $ each n your for
keep- u of them yields I.IMHI quarts
of milk a jour, that bring t. Tho
other yields l.'.iHi quarts, that bring
$'.'ik Tho latter loses about l nnd
rcdmvs tho gain ou the former from
fid to yxi. Why do on keep that I.'.In).
quart cowl You would le bettor off with
the one that clears fill, for yoti would
have only half tho lutcstiucut, half tin
Mork and half tin feeding, nnd you
would gain $11 emit year.
There would 1h no surplus butter on
tin market for years to come olid
prlii would rule strong If all the
rows wen eliminated which are kept
at h loss Ualry fanners liaio nut jet
half waked up to an uuderstniHllug of
the great practical luqiortaneo of n'eisl
lug out the unprofitable cows from their
herds Many a man would make a fair
profit, that now faces constant loss. If
he would keep only such cows ns pay
a profit on their keep.
Markrtliiic I'm nil I'roilure.
A small farmer wlw has nude, n sue
co of marketing bis produce gives
sound ami Ingenious advice lu n recent
magazine. Ills preliminary work sug
gests Hannah (llaso'H famous preface
to her Instructions for cooking hare:
"First find a lady customer." Is his ad
vie. To her sell nothing but the
choicest of fruit and produce. It will
not Ik long before alio will acquaint
hr friends, and they lu turn will pass
along the word to others. It pays to
sell nothing but the best ; the Inferior
produeo can bo fed to Mock, and In a
short time the fanner will Hud lie has
a good market and a good price, with
no leakage of profit to the middleman.
HltMl .Venn Interest.
Towiil So Grwithead la dying, eh?
Is ho resigned?
Hrowuo Yea, ho la now, but tho ex
citement over tho Han Fruntiaco din
aster bud lilm worried for a time.
Towno Why, 1iow7
Itrowno It occupied ho much (.pace
In tho licwKimporH ho wua afraid Ida
obltunry would bo blighted. Philadel
"Bo you want to work?"
"Pleaso don't misunderstand me. I
don't want to work, but I'vo got to,"
I raise live erojn Instead of ono on
din Kami) ground, and ou tho aaiuo vines
with hardly any extni work. Plant lu
tin usual way. When a eucuinber Is
taken from tho vino lot It bo cut with a
knife, leaving nlout an eighth of an
Inch of tho riiciiiiilMtr on tho atom. Thou
allt the atom with u knife from Ha end
to tho vino twice, leaving a small por
tion or tbe cueuiulier ou each division.
Ou ouch ncparato ullt there will bn n
cucumber us large an tho flint. My this
method you will only need nno-flftli tho
ground that you would need If grow
ing cunimhoiH lu tho old way, Waltor
KtroHiildcr lu KpltoiiiUt.
Moot noil Ninoke Kill Ciillle.
What waa at llrat thought to have
been a contagious iIIhciiko among cowa
belonging to AllaiiKon llullcock. of
WaHhlugtonvllle, near Mlddlotou, N. Y
has Ix-on discovered to bo tho result of
too much wnoko anil soot. Eight cattlo
died and post-mortem examinations
luivo shown largo quantities of soot In
their atonmcliH. Near tho place where
tho cowa wero pastured n largo atcani
shovel Ima been operating and clouds
of Htuoko from tho engine nettled iiKm
tho wet grass upon which tho animals
The weight of a horse Is an lmKirt
ant Item lu estimating his value for
draft Hires. for the fine-honed horse.
with Well-del eloped muscles, may do as
much work as the heavy-boned one for
a short time, and Is even t-iter for road
purpose. Hut In 'dowlng, or other
heavy, steady drawing, (ho light horc
Is less useful. Then, lu Kioe. the
weight Is an Im'Mirtant Item. If a gtsal
horse weighs oer '.!.Xsi munds he may
Mrsidy sell for as much as f per
!hiihI, ami from I-)' to '.'.(NO Miuuds,
for less, Hie price rapidly declining,
I .'.ml to rfVMi iHiuiid horses selling at
frimi 10 lo ."VI ci wit Hr ihiiiiiiI. though
k Is considerably more than any other
grade of stock on the farm will bring
If tho IrorstM are well bred.
Water rnlril hj- ('urn.
Much Interest has lately Ihvh mani
fest is 1 In determining the exact amount
of water ri-qulrod for the growth of
plants. This Is Just as uiNirtunt In
the east as In the Irrigated region, for
we often have droughts which made
necessary the iihwi careful cultivation
to prevent plants fnun rUifTerliig. Pro
feor Clothier Ima found that after
com becomes two feet high each stalk
uos up three (annuls of water a day
until the ears mature. This Is equiva
lent to an Inch of rain a week. In
nglous where tho average rainfall Is
tower, and where a gMl, milky quality
nf sweet corn Is ileslri-d In the garden
during August nud September, It Is ob
viously niieessary to have the soil lu
the most perfect state of cultivation ao
as to retain as much uioUtuni as Is
The frame for this hog-rlnglng trap
should In made of Hxl-lncli lumber
bolted togother at comers. The dltuou-
: Y :
HIMl'I.K Iton-IIIMIJIMU THAI,
sinus are I feet - Inches long, 2 feet I
Inches high ami I foot (I Inches wide.
There Is n sliding door at the back end.
When tho hog puts his head thnmgli
the halo lu front, Jam tho lover against
To l-'eeit llnrlej- lo Horses,
Parley has ns yet been Utile used for
lioreos In the eastern mrt of the Unit
ed Htn tea, probably beeatiNo of Its gun
oral high price. On tho Paclik- const
It la extensively used for breeding
horses at all kinds of work. Where
tho horso'a tooth nro good and the labor
not sovero, barley limy bo fed whole,
(I round barley Is uuplcuHiiut to tho
horno while rating, and If, Instead of
grinding, tho grains nro crushed to
flattened disks between Iron rollers,
they nro more palutablo itiid uccentubla
1 to tho horse.
"Arabella," called (ho father from
tho head of tho stairs, "Is that young
man gouo?" "Yes, father. Couiplctu.
Teacher Why did tho ancients be.
Hove the earth to bo flat? Ilrlght Hoy
Cause they didn't Iiumi no school
globes to prove. It was round.
"I, sir," began Hragg. "am a ef-
uutdo man." "Yes," replied Wise, "but
why aNilogUo now? That won't help
mutter."-- Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Madison How" do joii like your
new iielghlsirs? Mrs. Hjor I iluii't
kutiw. I haven't tried to Isirrow any
thing yet. Town aud County.
lilggs I understand Hint lllgglii Is
quite a cloor llnancler. Illgg Well,
he Isn't. Why, that man never beat
ati)lMHly out or u cent lu his life.
"Algy, don't )ou find married life
more oipenslve I tut n laieholorhiMiil?"
"Well, It tuny In more ea-nsve than a
rigidly single life, but It's cheaper than
Senior Partner There's one thing to
bo said lu faor of classical lutisle.
Junior Partner What Is that? Senior
Partner The otttew Imy can't whistle It.
Mrs. Flip I bate Just Is-eu talking
to a sKclallst, aud bo a)s my brain
iltallty has all hoiio to my long Iwlr.
lo you ladleui It? Flip -Well, er I
knew It had gone! Del ndt Free Press.
Medical Student -What did you op
erate ou (hat man for? Eminent Sur
geon FIvh hundred tlollars. .Medical
Student I mean, what did he liav'?
Eminent Surgeon Phe hundred do.
At the Oarage. Hoy Mr. Smith Is
telephoning for hi machine. Can you
scud It to lilm (inlay? Head Man
Don't see how wo can. Why. this ma
chine Is the only one anrnml hero Nt to
"Is there any available substitute for
rutilmr?" sskesl tlw Instructor of tlm
class. "Ys, sir," answered Mis I to
Mulr, one of the fair coeds "I think
stare' or 'gaK' Is Jut as gssMl." Ctil-
Orcen I canmit understaml why Ito
Short wants a dUnrco. Ills wife had
nearly half a ml 1 1 loo whe)i he marrleil
Iter. Ilniwn Yis, and has eery
dollar of It jet. That' the trouble.
Chicago Dally New.
"Vos, I'm gsdng to spend a few weeks
at K lineman's mimmer resort. My
stomach Is alt out of order, ami I need
a rest." "Well, ywir stiHwarh will set
a ssmhI rest there, list, I know thu
(dsce." ('hli-aso Tribune.
I siipHie that some of ytHir battle
seaiis art) lery realistic?" said tho
s)iiiMthlxr. "Ye," said the hum actor.
"I have ImtKoxmatod NaiMileoii at
Water Iihi several times when real shells
weru lairntlng all alsiut me." Kansas
"Mamma, what nro twin?" asked lit
tle Hobby. "Oh, I know," chimed lu
Dorothy, with all tho auorlorlty of in
elder sister. "Twins Is two I w bios Just
tho same ago; three Is triplets, four H
quiiilriiH'ds ami tlvv Is ccutlpiMles."
"You'll bine to fix the mnuii over In
fo re I can buy It," said thu till tor.
"There npsars to bo something tho
matter with Its feet. "I would hao
)ou umlenitaiid, sir," said tho bard,
with dignity, "that I am a aot nud not
I ehlroMlt." Clovsland Inilur.
"Tonuiiy, what ancient king wns It
who played ou tho flddlu while Homu
was btirnlugr "Hector, ma'am." "No,
no not lloolor." "Thou It was Hook."
"Duke? What do jou tuoau, TiMiuuy?"
'Well, then It must a' been Nero. I
know oil It WUZ souuihndy with u dog's
A reporter of tho Paris Matin tried
lo purchase a genuine HiK-kufullur In
tervlow with a chock for I,mm, Ho
failed. Thu proper way to uiako an
American millionaire talk la not to
offur lilm a thousand dollars, hut to try
to got n thousand dollars away from
"I would lllto n pound of your golf
sausage," she said to tho butcher. "Coif
sausage? Sorry, madam, but wo don't
handle It, Wo havo blood sausage,
Hvoruiirst, hum miiimigo, ami other
kinds, but no golf sausage," "Oh, dear,
I'm no orry, My husband said ho
much preferred tho kind Hindu lu llnka."
A little girl wua out walking with hor
aunt one day, Tho aunt Ihiwoi! to a
man they wero passing. "Who la ho,
Aunt Joiiulo?" asked tho llttlu girl,
Mrs, l.lttlellelil told her that ho wua
Mr. MulroHo, tho village iiiulurliikur.
"Oil, yea," replied tho child quickly, "I
reinciiiler him, Ho undertook my
grandmother." Harper's llaxar.
Hecnuso sisters call each other
"houoy" boforo peoplo Is no algu tuttf
do not fius lu prlvato life.