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About The Bend bulletin. (Bend, Or.) 1903-1931 | View Entire Issue (May 15, 1903)
The Courtship of Mr. Stiibbirfs MV Al.k'N UWIAX MICK. lwllf following fplXHl ftow tilt new Ixtok I.vty Mry, liy llie milliur uf Mri, Wliif of the CnlilAi t'uleli. I,(ivy Mnry, mi orplinii, )ma tun Hny fiiim n myluin mitl taken rtfugt wllli mi okl HiW, MIm IUy, uf i C.MMgc I'Altli Otto evening ht nine twine wliti n "blue Ut ter" hlrM4i tu MIM lly, In ftar UM It com writ lir liPBlr up lit teller. Mr, Wluin, vrlmti ntil, ihkUH Juitltv to tin millii liinl tlMt It te tttel llul the M-Wttlon Iim leii neeMriy wihIwwI.) "Mini Hny! Dear Miss (Mrs. Wiggs rend from tlic lorge type-written sheet before her;: Why not study the plnuelH and tlic henvuns therein? In custing your future, I find that thou wilt have nu active and suc cessful year for husiueAi, hut be ware of the law. You arc prudent and unliable and have u lively cuing iuntiou. You will have many en ncniies; but fair not; for in love you will be faithful and sincer, nnd arc fitted well for married life." "They surely ain't iiieaulu' me?" nuked Miw lln?.y, in gtcat pcrtur bation. "Yes, ma'nm," snid Mrs. Wiggs emphatically, "it's you, plain as day. Let's go on: "Your star fortclls you n great ninny lucky events. You are des tined to n brilliant succes, but you will hnvc to earn it by good con duct. Let wthc men lend you. Your mildness against the wretched will bring you the friendship of ev ery Iwtly. Unclosed you will find a spirit picture of your future ixird ner. If you will send twenty-five cents with the enclosed card, which you will fill out, wc will put you in direct corrcsjKHidcucc with the gen tlciunn, nnd the decree ordained by the planet will thus Ik- fulfilled. ricu.se show this circular to your friends, and oblige "Astrologer." As the reading proceeded, Iivcy Mary's fears urnthuilly diminished, nnd with a sigh of relief she applied herself to her lunch, jlut if the letter hud proved of no consequence to her, such was not the cn.se with the two women standing at the Nviudow. Miss llny was re-reading the letter, vainly trying to mas ter the contents. "Mnry," she snid, "git up nn' sec if you enn find my other pair of lookiti'-glas.scs. Seems like I can't get the scum; of it." Mrs. Wiggs meanwhile was ex citcdly commenting on the charms of the "spirit picture." "My, but he's stylish! Looks fcr nil the world like n' insurance ngcut. Looks like he might be a little tnll to his sie, but I like stat ute men better 'n dumpy ones. I bet he's got n lot of nice manners. Ain't his smile pleasant?" Miss Hazy seized the small pic ture with trembling fingers. "I don't seem to git on to what it's nil nlKHit, Mis' Wiggs. Ain't they made n mistake or somcthiu'?" "No, indeed; there's no mistake nt nil," declared Mrs. Wiggs. "Yer name's on the bnck, nu' it's meant fer you. Some way yer name's got out as, Iwiu' single nnd ucediu' tak in' keer of, an' I reckon this here 'htrologcr, or conjurer, or whatever he is, seen your good fortune in the .stars, nu' jes wanted to let you know 'bout it." "Dos he want to get married with her?" asked Lovey Mnry, be- Lovey Mnry, ginning to realize the grave import mice of the subject under discus sion. "Well, it may lend to that," an swered Mrs. Wiggs hopefully, Miss Hnzy herself uttered faint protests nnd expostulations, but in Kpite of herself she was becoming influenced by Mrs. Wiggs's cnthus-. iasm. "Oh, shoo!" she repeated again tiud again, "I ain't never had no thought of marryin'." "Course you ain't," said Mrs, Wiggs. "Good enough reason: you niu't had a show before. Seems to me you'd be flying straight in th face of providence to refuse ,n Hwccl-hmiliu' man like that." -; "Ho iff fine-lookln'," acknowl edged Miss Hazy, trying not to Ap pear too pleased; "only I wlsht his years didn't Mick out so much." Mrs. Wiggs was cxuspcrnlud, "Lawseel Miss Hnzy, what do you think heMI think of yer Jigger? J lave you got m much to brag on, that you kin go to pickiu' him to ploccs? Do you suppose I'd 'it' dared to judge Mr, Wiggs that awny? Why, Mr. Wiggs's nose was as long ns n clothespin; but I would no more 'a' thought of his nose without him than I would 'a' thought of him without the nose." "Well, what do you think I'd ortcf do 'bout it?" nsked Mis Hazy. "I ain't quite made up my mind," snid bur mentor. "I'll talk it over with the neighbors. Hut I 'sped, if wc kin skeur up n quarter, that you 11 answer by the morniu's mail." If the cabbage patch had pinned its faith upon the efficiency of the matrimonial agency in rcgurd to the disposal of Miss Hazy, it wits doom ed to disappointment. The events that led up to the final catnstrophu were unique in that they cast no shadows before. Mivt liazy's letters, dictated by Mrs. Wiggs nnd cuncd by Lovey Mnry were promptly nnd satisfac torily nuswercd. The original of the spirit picture proved to be one Mr. Stcbbins, "a prominent citizen of Dagdad Junction who desired to marry someone in the city. The lady must be of good character and without incumbrances." The wooing had been ideally simple Mr. Stubbing, with the impetuosity of n new lover, deman ded nu curly meeting. It wns a critical time, nnd the cabbage patch realized the necessity of making the first impression n favorable one. Mrs. Wiggs took pictures from her walls and chnirs from her parlor to beautify the house of Miss Hazy. Old Mrs, Shultz, who was confined to her bed, sent over her black silk dress for Miss Hnzy to wear. Mrs. Ivichorti, with deep insight into the nature of man, gave n pound cake and it pumpkin pie. Lovey Mary scrubbed utid dusted, and cleaned, and superintended the toilet of the bride-elect. The important day had arrived, nnd with it Mr. Stubbins. To the many eyas that surveyed him from behind shutters and half-open doors he was something of n disappoint ment. Mrs. Wiggss rosy anticU patious had invested him witli the charms of an Apollo, while Mr. Stubbins, in reality, wns fur from godlike. "My land, he's lnnkcr'ti a bean polel" exclaimed Mrs. Kichorn, in disgust. Taking everything into consid eration, the prospects had been most flattering. Mr. Stubbins, sit ting in Mrs. Wiggs's most comfort able chair, with n large slice of pumpkin pie in his hand, nnd with Miss Hazy opposite nrruyed in Mrs. Shultz's black silk, had declared himself ready to marry nt oltce, And Mrs. Wiggs, lclieviug that a groom in the hand is worth two in the bush, promptly precipitated the courtship into n wedding. The affair proved the sensation of the hour. For one brief week the honeymoon shed its beguiling light on the neighborhood, then it suf fered a sudden and ignominious eclipse. The groom got drunk, Mary was clearing nway the sup per dishes when she was startled by a cry from Miss Hazy. "My sakesl Lovey Maryl Look at Mr, Stubbins a-comiu' up the strectl Do you s'pose he's had n stroke?" I,ovey Mary ran to the window and beheld the "promiucut citizen stylish, of Dagdad Junction" in a state of unmistakable intoxication. He was bareheaded and hilarious, and used the fence as a llfc-pjOMner. Miss Hasty wrung lier liailds and wept. "Oh, what'll I Qi,r Hint wailed. "I do b'llevc he's had wnnethin' to drink. I ain't goili' to stay nn' meet him, Mnry; I'm jjoin' to hide. I always was skctuod of drunken men." "I'm not," odd .Mary, otoutly. "You go oil lip in ijty room and lock the door; I'm: going to stay here nnd keep him from mowing up this kitchen. I just hate thatinuul I Iwlieve you do, too, Mi Hazy." Miss Hnzy wept nfruiih. "Well, he niu't my kind, Mnry. I know I'd hadn't ortur marry him, but it 'pcaia likecvwr' woman sorter wants to try jjlttiil' married oncct any ways. I nt-vor would n done if, though, if Mrs. Wiggs hadn't 'a' kicked mo on." Hy this tiilio Mr. Stubbins had reached the yard, nnd Mis; Hnzy fled. Lovey Mary barricaded Tom my in a corner with his playthings, nnd mfct the delinquent at the door. Thin modern David had no btoue and sling to slay her Goliath she only had u vocabulary full of sting ing words, which she hurled forth with indignation nnd scorn, Mr. Stubbins had evidently been abused before, for he paid no attention to the girl's wrath. He pascd jaun tily to the stove and triwl to pour a cup of coffee; the hot liquid missed the cup and streamed over his wrist and hand. Howling with pain nnd swcfiring vociferously, he flung the coffee-pot out of the window, kicked a chair across the room, then turned upon Tommy, who was ad ding shrieks of ten Or to the gen eral uproar. "Stop that infernal yelling!" he cried savagely, ns he struck the child full in theface with his heavy hand. Lovey Mary-sprang forward nnd seized the poker. All th passion of her wild little nature was roused. She stole up behind hint as lib knelt uciore lomtny, nnu iiut'U tne poker to strike. A pair of terrified blue eyes' arretted hen Tommy forgot to cry, in sheer amazement at whnt she was nbout to do. Ashamed of herself, she threw the poker nsidc, nnd taking advantage of Mr. Stub bins's crouching position, she thrust him suddenly backward into the closet. The maneuver was a brilliant one, for while Mr. Stub bins wns unsteadily separating him self from the debris into which he hud been cast, Lovey Mary slam med the door and locked It. . Then she picked up Tommy and1 fled out of the house and across the yard. Mrs. Wiggs was sitting on her back porch pretending to knit, but in truth absorbed in a wild game of tug which the children were having on the commons. Hut when she etiught sight of Mary's white, dis tressed face nnd Tommy's .stream ing eyes, she, dropped her work nnd held out her arms. When Mary had finished herstory Mrs. Wiggs burst forth: , "An' to think I run her up ag'in this! Ain't men deceivin'? Now I'd 'a' risked Mr. Stubbins myself for the askiu'. It's true he was -a widower, nn nm allays uster say, 'Don't fool with widowers, grass nor sod.' Hut Mr. Stubbins was so slick-tougucd!" "Hut, Mrs. Wiggs, what must we do? nsked Lovey Mnry, too ab sorbed in the present to be iuteiest ed in the past. "Do? Why, we got to git Miss Hnzy out of this here hole. It ain't no use consultin' her; I nllays have said talkiu' to Miss Hazy was like pullin' out baStin' threads! you jes take out what you put in. Me an' you has gUt; to think out n' plan right here nil' nowi then gotowork an' enrry it out1' Couldu't we get the agency to take him back?" suggested Maryiii "No, indeed; they couldn't af ford to do that. Lemmc see, lem me sec " For five minutes Mrs. Wiggs rocked meditatively, sooth ing Tommy to sl'jp as she rocked. Wbensbe sjwke ugain it was with inspiration: "I've got itl It looks somotimc, Lovuy Mary,'s if I'd sorter caught some of Mr. Wiggs's brains in Ihinkiu' things out. Thay ain't but one thing to do with Miso Huzy's husbund." "What, Mrs. Wiggs? What is it?" nskod Lovey Mnry, eagerly. "Why, to lose him, of course! We'll wuit till Mr. Stubbins Is dead asleep; you know men allays have to sleep off a jag like this. I've seen Mr. Wiggs I mean I've heard 'em say so many a time. Well, when Mr. Stubbins is sound aaiccp you an' me an' Hilly will drag him out to the railroad." Mrs. Wiggs's voice had sunk to n hoarse whisper, and her eyes looked fierce in the twilight. Lovey Mary shuddered. "You ain't goin' to let the train run over him, are you?" she asked. "Ior', child, I nin'ta'sassmator! No; we'll wait till the midnight freight comes along, an' when it stops fer water we'll li'bt Mr. Stub bins into one of them empty cars. The train goes 'way out West some- Slianiko Warehouse Company SHANIKO, Fireproof building, 90x600 feet, fully equipped for forwarding MERCHANDISE Wool, Pelts, I - "te ' DKAMJRS IN Lumber, Wood, Coal, Flour, Hay and Grain. Special attention given to wool; first-class baling and grading facilities. All Modern Improvements for Handling Stock LATEST PATTERN OF STOCKYARDS. r-ROr-KtltTOKSt A. H. LI PPM AN & CO. DKAtEX Furniture and Undertaking Stoves, Wall Paper, Mlilng Materials, Etc. MAIL ORDERS PROMPTLY ATTENDED TO. PRINEVILLE, OR. SUBSCRIim WEEKLY -AND THE BEND BULLETIN. BOTH PAPERS $2.00 PEI" YEAI , vyhcrcs, an' by the Utile Mr. Stub- bins wakes up, he II be so far away fron home he won't have no money to git back." "What'll Miss Hnzy say?" nsked Mary, giggling in nervous excite ment. "Miss Hazy ain't got a thing to do with it," replied Mrs. Wiggs, conclusively. At midnight, by the dark of the moon, the unconscious groom was borne out of the Hazy cottage. Mrs. Wiggs carried his head, while Hilly Wiggs and Mary and Asia and Chris officiated at his arms and legs. The bride surveyed the scene from the chinks of the up-stairs shutters. Silently the little group waited until the htmlcriug freight train slowed up to take water, then with a concerted effort they lifted the heavy burden into an empty car. The engine whistled, and the train moved thunderously away, bearing an unconscious passenger, who, as far ns the cabbage patch was concerned, was henceforth sub merged in the darkness of oblivion. Century. R. Bond whiskey is to be had at the Pioneer Saloon, Shnniko. J. J. Wiley, proprietor. A good grate ful drink, refreshing, invigorating. OREQON. Grain, Eta I'RKNCIt it CO,, DANKURS, The Dlle MOORK IIROS. W. U)KI), The D.llei. II. I'. I.AUGIIUN, The Daltee. IN FOR THU OREGONIAN