Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The Bend bulletin. (Bend, Or.) 1903-1931 | View Entire Issue (April 24, 1903)
The Busy Beaver Brotherhood. NVIIAVUnNCAlMrtlf, ''' The fortune of the Uiuy Heaver Co-operative Brotherhood afforded Mr. Mlto IJunIi ii jjood opportunity for the excrcinu of h normative jwwerfl. 'i'he Htuilcut of Hocln! problems mliflit linvu wlflhod for more purtictitarH concerning the ac tual working plans of the organiza tlon mid lew nbout the ingenious Hunker uiid the ingenuotiA Gander foot; bid Mr. Hindi v always averse to mipplying Information on points in which he took no uron nl intercut, no 1 enn only give the account iu his own words, as fol lows; Yon kcc, It wiw old I'crfassor Hunker who intcrdticcd the igee in to the town nnd Marled the tiling. A great reader the perfessor was. A stoodent of history, and a hefty thinker. Used tocoiuc into Shanks' mid set himself down In a cheer and haul out a book and read for two hours, sliding his finger along under each line and sort o' prying up on ,the hard words, and never peep for for the whole time. Then he'd shut up his book and close his mouth very tlj;ht 'and think a-dl-getting what he'd read, he used to say. Then after some time he'd sort o' come to and look around, take a long, sliding pull on his whisker and say, "My friends, the kentry is going to the dorgs," and get up and walk out. And prob'ly outside he'd meet one of Al Doly's dorgs, and take a kick at it, free and furious, him being ded wt agin dorgs, and generally his boot would fly off, on account of him wearing 'em uncommon roomy for corns, nnd the dorg would grab the boot and streak it for home, Al being a jovial critter and having 'cm train ed for this purpose. Which, of course, youldu't improve 'the per feasor's temper, and lie would go home pretty mad, taking one long step with his stocking foot and two short ones with his boot foot, the same being- cowhide, extra heavy. After which Al would take him the other boot in a whccl-barrcr, pre tending he could hardly push it, and stopping to rest frequent, and with a small part of his dogs, say about a hundred and fifty, follcring behind. A very fine neighbor, Al was, and if there could 'a' been a tax collected on his dorgs it would 'a' paid the national debt. Well, the old man said m mighty little and looked so mighty solemn that we made up our minds he must be 'bout the smartest man iu the place, and when he did say any thing we just listened and took it to heart. One day he shut up his book as yoosial, tested his whiskers nnd found 'cm still fast, and says he: "Friends, the kentry is going to the dorgs." "If that's the case," says Abucr Bluckmnrk, "I move that one million dollars be, and hereby is, npjiorpcratcd to wedge on the kentry's boots." The perfessor looked around with his mouth shut like a time-lock, and then says he: "Voting man, if this is a season for yoomer then I am mistaken. The kentry is going to the dorgs. .Something oughter be done." . "What's your plan, per fessor?" says Mark Wallis. "I have give the matter some thought," re turns the perfessor, "and think I have some igecs on the subject. It is the dooty of every man, I con ceive, to put his hand to the plow," "Correct," says Mark. "The rich," contliiucrs the perfessor, "are growing richer, and the poor poor er. Our republic is being turned into an oligarshy. Our legislative halls are the haunt of corruption. Men are bought and sold like cat tle. Justice has fled shrieking from our courts, nnd our jedges, gentlemen, barter their decisions for pelf. ,. Our constitution, gentle men, that proudest polltercal dock erment framed by, the hand of man rtlncc'thd people of England wrung the Maggy Carter from the nobles, is being- dragged in the mire and made a door-mnt of," He shut his mouth with a thiap and looked around. We sot iu silence, jicarcc ly breathing. The only sound to be heard was Al Doty's dorgs out side, pounding the sidewalk with their tails iu unison, waiting for him to come out. Well, he talked some more, get ting us more and more worked up, itud then we asked Jiitu what was the remedy. "I conceive it lays iu one word," says he; "Co-oiwratlon'. The system of competition has been weighed iu the balances and found wanting, Through colouration and alf working for the common good we may htrugglcback to jeacc and happiness. Let us start the movement here. Let us form a co operative brotherhood and work for the common weal." Well, he talk ed for some time, and the cud of it was that we organized the Hits llcaycr Co-operative Hrothcrhood. Everybody went iu, and we had one store where we could get things iu exchange for orders worth one dol lar apiece, one being issued to ev ery man for each day's work, no matter what he worked at, so all would be on a level and there wouldn't be no hard feelings and no danger of an oligarshy. Win ter was just coming on, and there not then being a railroad within a hundred miles, we was shut off front the rest of the corrupt kentry and left atone, a band of brothers. Well, there ain't much more to tell, Alt would of gone well, and we would have set an example to the world, if it hadn't been for Gandcrfoot. Gaudcrfoot just come along. Wc didn't kttow from where, but I reckon it must 'a' been from the corruptest part of the kentry. He was the biggest matt you ever seen, over six feet high, and wide. Had a knobby face and considerable tower jaw. Asked about the Hrothcrhood, and the per fessor explained it all. Said it was right in his Hue. Agreed with ev erything the perfessor said. Coiuc iu with us, and begun to draw his dollar iu scrip every day like the rest of us. The perfessor was tick led. "He is our first rccroot from the capital-ridden kentry," said he. "Others will follcr. Wc are light ing u torch which will yet inflame the world." Gaudcrfoot drawed his dollar order every day, and at night he played poker. Wc seen, alars, when it was too late, how wicked it is to gamble. Gaudcrfoot always won. He finully got sev eral hundred dollars' worth of the scrip. Then one day, just before a big blizzard, he came into the store and with his dollar orders bought all the flour, and bacon, and beans, and sugar, and pcrtatcrsand such things that there wan, and took them over to his house, leav ing nothing but baking powder, und salcr'atus, and kycuiie pepper, and lemon extract, and yeast cakes, and breakfast fowl and such stuff. We looked serious, but tho pcrfeuior said it was all right. "He cannot refuse to sell back such as he does not want at the established rate," says hej "I conceive wo arc broth era." Hut the- next day when we went to him to get something he cocked up his eyu at thu ceiling and says he, "Gents, owing to the war cloud iu Europe the price of tdl foodstuffs have advanced Otto huti" dred per cent," at thu name time leaning on a barrel of flotlr and making a big gun in his belt ob noxiously couspickcrous, We with drew to the front of the room for a conference. "It's all right," .sys the perfessor in a vhisierj "it's all right. As a practical reformer. I have a plan to circumvent tho grasp ing scoundrel. We will Issue more scrip unbeknown to him. "You, go ahead and Invest what you've got and I'll go and start up the print ing press." So'we went hack and Abncr says to him: "Of course, as business men wc understand how these here war cloud play hob with the markets. I'll take a sack of flour at the war price." And he produced a handfiil of scrip. "Ow ing to the uncertainty in furrcn af fairs and the stringency iu the home markets," says Ganderfoot, again cocking up his eye, "only United States legal tenders is now receiv ed." Our jaw's dropped, and we filed out and sought the perfessor and related the circumstances. The old man listened with stern lips; then he sot down and the tears bust from his eyes. "Of course you have a remedy for this also?" says we. "There is 'no remedy iu the world for a man who demands cash money," says lie. "I conceive wc arc done up. The oligarshy has us by the throat." Then he bowed his head and mo tioned for the boy to stop the press. Three weeks later the corrupt and soulless Gandcrfoot left town, taking with him the last .cent iu the community. Saturday live ning Post. Tito Mlddlc'Aged Woman. The passing of the middle-aged woman is a fuct that has been ac complished within the last ten years. As long ago as that a woman of 45 was looked upon as pretty well ad vanced, and not generally regarded as the object of grand passions and universal admiration. When 'a mother had a son at college, she grew sober in Iter dress, wore her hair smooth, and took no interest iu her figure. She was just one re move from the rural English, who think when nature destroys a front tooth it is sinful to seek to remedy the omission by artifice. And when a mother had a married daughter and began to sec in the offing graudclu'ldrcu looming up, she put on black, gave up corsets, and be gau to think the theater a too friv olous amusement. These arc the women who now look alxutt the same age as their daughters. At any place where the idle and fashionable rich arc repre sented iu large numbers, one sees a few real old ladies, venerable dames of between seventy and eighty, a good many young girls in their teens, and a very large num1er of maids and matrons who look about twenty-five and thirty, and range from that age to fifty. The middle-aged woman did not pass from this active and attractive sphere without a struggle. Youth is not thus prolonged without labor, They say the French actresses first taught New York matrons that they could bo fresh and fair at fifty. Wo men who charmed at tho- age when tradition said they sat iu the chim ney conicr and knit stockings, were something new, and the rich ladies who didn't enjoy doing the stock ing act a bit took to the new idea like ducks to water. They havp massaged and steamed and creamed themselves back twenty-five years. Dress makes an enormous differ' cuce, and they now drest as youth fully as their daughters, As for corsets a large part of the trick depends 011 them, and of the whole toilet of the coquette of fortyfiv they are the most important item, One can't achieveauything worth while without effort, nnd, the New York woman's great struggle is to avoid fat. This is hor crumpled rose-leaf. It would not have bean so bhrt some years ago, when what the novelists called "opulent,' curves" were the fashion. Hut curves nro out. To be lean as a lath is now the mode! The ideal figure looks as if a deal board were bound to tho front of it under the Htripc'sl of gowns, which is 'drawn so smooth and so tight iu the skirt that it fits like n pair of trousers. A fashion able tailor told mc the other day that he was making skirts with, a scam on the side from the ankle to the hip, and that this scam made the dresses so tight that the wearers could not sit down. Faced by such fashions, the anx ieties of the women inclined to fat may be imagined. And nearly all the smart women in New York are inclined to fat. One can't cat three elaborate meals a day, with tea and muffins at five, and candy' off and on all the time, without increase' of avoirdupois. Many of these wom en won't take exercise. When one has a pupcrb open carriage, ivith sable nigs and eider-down cushions, to go driving in, one must be mudc of heroic stuff to put on one's heavy Shaniko Warehouse Company SHANIKO, Fireproof, building, 90x600 feet, fully equipped for forwarding MERCHANDISE Wool, Pelts, DKALKUS IN ) ' r Lumber, Wood, Coal, Flour, Hay and Grain. Special attention given to wool; first-class baling and grading facilities. All Modern Improvements for Handling Stock LATEST PATTERN OP STOCKYARDS. rxorHiKTOKsi A. H. LI PPM AN & CO. DKALXBI IN Furniture and Undertaking Stoves, Wall Paper, Building Materials, Etc, . MAIL ORDERS PROMPTLY ATTENDED TO. CLAIMS ESTIMATED AND SOLD KING, HUNTER 3b MARSH. TIMBER CRUISEfcS AND LAND LOCATORS. BEND .---. OREGON. SUBSCRIBE WEEKLY ANb- THE BEND BULLETIN, . . ' both papers $;2.Q0 Per" yeaR' hoots and go for a walk. ' How to gctofTor keep off fat is one of the great subjects of discussion here. When half a dozen women get to gether it is certain, sooner or later, to come to the surface of the con versation. Then they all give their opinions with the kindling eye and flushing check which denotes the discussion of matters close to the heart. Some of the more determined and force ful bent almost starve themselves. A favorite cure is to drink no water. Some walk, taking brisk constitu tionals of miles at a brisk rate of speed. Some take patent medicines, warranted to cure obesity, and nearly kill themselves. Hut the favorite method is Turkish baths. These are less trouble than any of the others, and vigorously taken, once or twice a week, arc said to Ixr vcry efficacious. Gcraldinc Honucr in S. F. Argonaut. OREdON. Grain, Etc. FRKNCH ft CO., DANXBHS, The Dalici MOOXK 1IKOS, W. I.ORD, The DaUet. II. V. !.AUGHI,!N,The DU. PRINEVILLE, OR, ESTIMAtlNQ A SPECIALTY FOR THE OREGONIAN