DIRECTORIES
-TO P” SERGEANT REAL “ BOSS” NOT ALL BRUTALIZED BY WAR DISEASES THAT CAUSE DEATH ie ■
L 'n itsd S tate« Officer«
Woodrow W J».
V im Prcndrot ...... _____ Th». R. Manball
Sacrotory al Stato ........... Robot R. Laaúaf
W *. G McAdoo
SscrcUiy oi Trroro.y
................
-N . D. Bako
Sacrata^ at W«i ..
SacMtaiyai Navy... ................. Joopbut Daiiteb
........... Fiaakka K. Laa.
ft Un mi] G----- 1 ....... Tbauat W. Crogory
Portata*« ^ -----1 ....... Albert S. Butlooa
Sacrotory oi Agriculturc ....... David F. Hatooa
Wat. B. Radtaid
Srtcretory ai Coartaian
Sacrotory o< Labor ....♦.........W - B. Wtboa
S u p re m a C o u rt
Omi J a s » .......... .............. Edward D. Wltoa
............. J - |A M c K ^
....W . R. Day
Asábate Jrotort
..............
O.
W. Hohrtt
Ausato* Jato«...
Lew» D. Brandie»
AirrrLru- J
..........Joba H. Qaike
•. . .
........ Mabloa Pttaay
.
......
W ilh Vaadevaater
Auoartte J artice__
A__ Là. lutoir* ................J. G McReyaokb
U. S. C o u rt, O regon
..........W. R. Gdbtot
O rt-t Jado*
Ota». E. Wohotoa
Otetnct la th e .......
.................... .R. S. Boas
Ditoni-« luche
SA--L-l
_ | a K b . b o rili
.........G. H.' Martb
r u
- t
*___
«•••••••••••••* r i p _ _ ~
U* 3« Sens tors
...................Portiaad
Gao** E. Cbrtubodsh
O » L. McNary.
«p-
M em ber g « f C tm grsm
Fato Darnel............ . WïK* G Hawley. Saha
Sanad Datoci .. ..N. J. Sitaott, TWe Dalla
Tiárd Datad.......... C N. McArthn. Portland
S tare O fficers
«taC aart
< * - .j
............Th». A. McBride
.
.
.......... Wallace McCarooto
A— L^-ÍZZZ
................Hoary J. Boas
Auadtoe J s t a ...... ............Th». HL McBadb
Atosdtot Jtatha .... ..........La wrote T. Hacà
Atol atol Jatoi«..... ........... George R Burartt
H ichett "Noncom" Is Always a Most
Important Cog in M ilitary
Organisation.
English “T o m m iti" at the Front Ara
Said to Be Remarkable for
T h s ir Klndll
You wouldn’t think that men
The first servant always has been
one of the moat important men -in would go to war to learn how to be
the United Statea army, and he is kind, but they do. There’s no kinder
getting more important all the time, creature in the whole i^ide world
according to the Detroit Net*. The ' than the average Tommy. He makes
increase of the infantry company to a friend of any stray animal he can
*50 men has multiplied hia labors find. He shares his last franc with
a chap who isn’t his pat. He risks
and hia tribulations.
The first aergeant is the buffer his life quite inconsequently to res-
between the enlisted men and the I cue anyone who’s wounded. When
company officers. He is himself an he’s gone over the top with bomb
anlisted man, but often appropriates and bayonet for the express purpose
an autocratic authority that even of “doing in” the Hun, he makes a
the eaptain would hesitate to assert. comrade of. the Fritxie he captures.
He is guide, philosopher and friend You’ll gee him coming down the bat*
to everyoneRn the company. Prac­ i tered trenches with some scared lad
tically sveiything of a military na­ i of a German at bit side. He’s gab-
ture that originates in the organisa­ I bing away making throat noises ahd
tion must pass through his hands, ' signs, smiling and doing his inar­
and in many matters his is the final ticulate best to be intelligible. He
pets the Hun on the back, hands
-say*
him
chocolate and cigarettes, ex­
The soldiers go to the first ser-
geent, net $s an enlisted man to an changes souvenirs and shares with
offioer, but as man to man. They i him his last luxury. If anyone in-
always h art the privilege of taking ; terferes with hia Firitaia he’s willing
np important matters with the com­ j to fight When they come to the
pany commander or one of the other I cage where the prisoner haa to be
officers, but whan the first sergeant | handed over, the farewells of them
la a competent man this privilege is I companions whose acquaintance has
| been made at the bayonet point are
not sxsreiasd vary often.
A good first sergeant nearly always often as absurd as they are affecting.
s goad company, a n d # poor I suppose \one only learns the value
ana the reverse. This, as a general f of \indnesfc when he feels the need of
proposition, holds true regardless of : it himself. The men oat there have
the merits of the company com- ! said “good-by” to everything they
der. For instance, a good cap­ | loved, but they've got to love some-
tain and A had first ssrgeant may ! one—so they give their affections to
result in f had company, while a bad j captured Fritxiee, stray dogs, fellows
captain and a good first aergeant i who’v r collected a piece of a s h e ll-
in fact, to anyone who’s a little worse
may work the other way.
off than themselves. — Coningsby,
Lieutenant Canadian Field Artil­
SOLDIERS TO BE AMUSED lery, in Good Housekeeping.
Awake te the Necessity t f
F revising B eeresti«« fo r Hie
Fighting
TW AS AN INK WELL
r a t S t a t e . ................. B e » W . O k a *
n e v e r .......................... T h t t a a e B . K a y
G a a i i . . . . . . ; .......... G e o e ie f t
b b c U t a » c t io a ..................... j . A .
t t o c r ........ ............. A r t h u r W . L a w n a c e
. . . H e rre y W e lk
_ ............ . . . . . . . . O . P . H o f
— n u n . 1 . H . J . S
i o f B e a t s ..................s . a
V r t n r t i a . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . D .. W . H . Lytle
A t P o r tla n d
Unde Bam has gone into the show
business. With the care of trans­
porting snd equipping some million
he has not forgotten that the
boys in khaki, suddenly thrust into
snd rigid duties, nsed recreation
and he feels that the beet is none too
good for them. Accordingly, al­
though far from the bright lights,
they are going to see the beet kinds
D to r y C n n a i i . i r. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . J o i n D .
of performances the stage, the chau-
C a r tk e W a r d e n . . . . . . . . ... ........... C n e l D .
tauquas, and the musical world can
F a b W a r d e n ................................. K . E .
provide.
H e a k h O f t e n . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . D r . D a v id N . R o b e r *
All thia is to be done nnder the
A d j r t a l G e a e t a l. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . G e o r g e A . W h il e
military entertainment council,
S e c r e ta r ie s S t a t e B o a rd s
appointed by the secretary of war,
P rtb fc c S e n k * C o n . . . . . . . . . . . . E . Q r t r o n d e r . S o l e » with James Couzens of Detroit at its
M r t f t c a l F n e i i r f _ _ H . S . N ic h o h . P o r t h a d
The performances are to bq
H e a h k . ............... D r . D . N . R o b e r t P o r t ia o d
Papa Bug—Don't you dart drink
given
in
the camps in the liberty
F e e .......................... A . H . L e e , S o l e .
any
of the dirty black water in that
H . M . W ilh o B M o o , P o r t la n d theaters built by Unde Sam, as well well, Tommy Bug.
............ G . G . B r o w s . S o l a n as in Liberty auditoriums, and Lib­
T a a C ■ ■ ■ n a n o . . . . . P n k 1 C L o u e f l. S a le m erty tents, originally managed by the
W H Y SHE W AS ANORV.
S t a t e L i b r a r y _ _ „ , . . . . O a a r l i n M a m a . S a le m chautauquaa.
F r a a h S . W a r d . S a le m
...... H . H . O iia g e r , S a l e .
Dtoert l a m b .............. Percy A Cupper, Salem
Femtry .......................^ .F . A. Eliot, Salem
Heads of State Institutions
.. P. L. Campbell. Fngfar
......W. J. Kerr.
I School ...J. H. Adrenam
........EL T. Moore*. Salem
. y .....................EL S.TÜleaekmt. Salem
Feeble Mmded
...........J. N. Smith. Salem
.. R .E .L . Sterner. Salem
.Chat. A. Murphy. Salem
........L. M Gilbert. Salem
...R. C. Markee, Roaebutg
...H . M. Park*. Corvalh*
__G G Bellinger. Salem
EL Ooagos. ..W. D. McNary. Pendleton
Crtb' la. School . Dr. EL W. Hopkrm. Salem
Twelfth Judicial District
Jadgc............................. Harry H. Bek, Dal Lai
Proaanrtot .............. R. L-Coeaer, McMtaavtUe
C o u n ty O fficers
Cnatoy.Judge
.................. W. W. Ntckh.McMmov.iie
...S . E. Gamma». Mc M monile
................ W. S. Allan. Dundee
G B. Wibon MrMu.nv.IU
-
.W . G Headenoa
••
M trta Millet
00
. . . Alice L. Adaa»
M
...I L S. Maloney
-
SmpL School. ..................... 8 . S. Paar on
es
.............. H. W. Heniof
•a
Sr.
Stock
O ft« . ........................... J. H. Cook
..............
A h a Green
«s
•«
M em bers of Legisla ture
................ W. T . Vieto«, McMinnville
...................... be C Berber, W ill*«*.
............... Ï...W . W. Luego. LaFayeSe
A M E N IT IE S .
Belle—I hear the government is
badly in need of camouflage artiste.
Nell—It is a wonder yon have not
bass snatched np with that com-
fission, dear.
A M E A N S LAM .
*1 was in the mob scene,” boasted
--
•
IN D IA ’S H O A R D O F S IL V E R .
The Indian population that saves
anything at all is given to hoarding.
And the boerding benefits nobody.
I t ia usually worn as ornaments by
the women. It does not bring in one
single farthing to its owners. Con-
aequsntly, although the boards of In­
dia, if we could only ascertain what
they are, would probably be found to
amount to hundreds of millions ster­
ling, they are of as little help to the
vast majority of poor people as if
those hoards consisted of dross. Just
before the war broke out, snd while
the want of banking was making
itself felt, a number of enterprising
natives saw that silver had been
practically repudiated bv all the civi­
lized world—that India was becom­
ing a kind of receptacle into which
all the useless silver of Europe could
be dumped.
PAYMENT IN ADVANCE.
The other night the Germans
bombed a certain town in which
there is a flourishing American can­
teen. The town is often bombed,
snd wherever that is the esse the
populace works up a very lively fear
of the death from the sky. One
never becomes accustomed to this
sort of an attack.
“I t was outrageous,” said a pretty
American canteen worker.
She
really is pretty snd not merely pretty
by journalistic brevet She is in her
early twenties, snd lived a most shel­
tered snd cultured life until the
came here to keep American soldiers
from getting into gastronomic diffi­
culties.
“I t certainly was,” agreed the
man, thinking of the bombing. “It is
s cruel thing to bomb an undefended
town—”
“Rats!” said thé canteen worker,
viciously. “ I’m not thinking of the
Boche. I’m talking of our cook. She
had to go and faint right in the
middle of the bombardment—and it
was the busiest night we ever had.”
Judge— I’m going to fine you $0
for the chickens you stole the last
two weeks
W A R SCRAF B O O K }.
Hast us— How'll it be if Ah pays
New York women are making
$7.80, jedge? Dat’U pay fob up to
•n’ includin’ next Saturday night.— •crap book«, not only for the purpoee
of amuaing the boys over in Trance,
Life.
but to preserve for posterity reliable
q u i t e eo.
accounts of what is taking place to­
day. These books contain not only
“What are the principal assets ef stories but cartoons, tbs most won­
that professional witness!”’
derful that any age ever produced,
“ I should say thsy were his lie- being, printed during these years of
abilities.”
the war. Pictures and illustration!
of
all kinds will bs valuable jn these
QUITE T H E TH IN S.
scrap books, hut much of the print­
“Did Jim remonstrate with Bill ed matter will have to be eliminated
if the war is to continue much
about the bee in his bonnet?”
“ I understand he administered a longer, unites one is very cartful in
•slactioa.
stinging nbuke.”
BTI
unii
He—I see yetar lecture
*1 don’t doubt it,” responded
view of the subject
Fett, hisgjvnL “ And wen
Yes, pink always
celer
the estíre mob F”
•tatlstlee »ho* Seme Common Ali­
ments Decreasing, While Others .
Appear te Se Saining Feet
~_r »
• -
The bureau of cpnsus in the de­
partment of commerce at Washing­
ton has just made a preliminary an­
nouncement of the death statistics
for the United Statea in the year
1916.
They cover the 70 per cent of
American people who are registered
and show some encouraging and
some discouraging figures.
Heart disease is increasing, but tu­
berculosis is falling off somewhat,
î’neumonja ta decreasing, but
Bright’s disease and cancer are gain­
ing fast Apoplexy is increasing
also.
Death from accidents is making
rapid gains, the increase in automo- 1
bile accidents being especially note­
worthy.
_
.
,
The three moat common killers of
mankind are heart disease, tubercu­
losis and pneumonia, nearly on?-
third of all deaths being charged to
these ailments.
During 1916 there were 1,000,921
deaths, of which another third were
occasioned by the following group
of diseases: Bright’s disease and ne­
phritis, caneer, apoplexy, diarrhea
and enteritis, influenza, arterial dis­
eases, diabètes, diphtheria and ty­
phoid fever.
WHEN NOBEL CUT HIS FINGER
• ^
__________
/Mew the F irst ef High Explosives la
Uee Originates In a Lib e ra - **
%
tery Accident.
THE
Newberg Graphic
The Oregon Farmer
Offtre U m iil Opsoftisitr ft Its Rssrftrs
MONG our large circle of readers there
are a great many who are interested
directly or indirectly in fruit growing,
dairying and other branches of farm­
ing. All of these nafujplly wish to
keep in close touch with agricultural activi­
ties throughout the state; and to know about
any fight which is being waged for the meas­
ures Oregon farmers want and against all
sorts of schemes that are detrimental to the
people and agricultural interests of thia state.
A
We have, therefore, made a special clubbing
arrangement with THE OREGON FARE R
whereby any farmer or fruit grower, who ia
one of our regular subscribers and who ia not
now a subscriber to THE OREGON FARER .
will be entitled to receive THE OREGON
FARMER in combination With this paper at
the same rate as for this paper alone.
This offer applies to all those who renew or ex­
tend their subscriptions as well as to all new
subscribers. If you are interested directly or
indirectly in Oregon agriculture, do not miss
this unusual opportunity, but send your order
in now.
v
THE OREGON F A R F K is the one farm
paper which ia devoting itself exclusively to
the farming aetivitities and interests of Ore­
gon. It has a big organization gathering th#
news of importance to farmers, dairymen,
fruitgrowers, stock raisers and poultrymen;
and it haa the backbone to attack wrongful
methods and combinations and bad legislation,
and support honest leaders and beneficial
measures. We are confident that our readers
will congratulate ds on our being able to make
this splendid and attractive clubbing offer.
T ha great war might be traced
back to Nobel's cut finger. Alfred i
Nobel was s Swedish chemist—and *
a pacifist. One day while working 1
in the laboratory he ent his finger,
as chemists are apt to do, and,,
again as chemists are Nipt to do, ha
dissolved some guncotton in etheT
alcohol and swabbed it on the wound.
At this point, however, his conduct
208 PAPERS FOR ORLY $1.50
diverges from, t l ^ ordinary, for in-
TWO FOR PRICE OF ONE
stead of standing idle, impatiently j
waving his hand in the air to dry
TW OBI0OS F M M O every week fa r Three G T |
U f |
the film, as most people, including
Years, «■ for eefr.......................................... * P 1 « U U
chemists, are apt to do, he put his
mind on it and it occurred to him
that this sticky stuff, slowly harden­
ing to an elastic mass, might be just
the thing be was hunting as an ab­
sorbent snd aolidifier of nitroglyc­
erin. . So instead of throwing away “TOTES” FIVE AT ONE TIME FIRST NAVAL OFFICER KILLED
the extra collodion that be had made >
Lleutenant Them e« ef California, .Com­
he mixed it with nitroglycerin and Rcrrcaentxtlve Kltchli^ Has Right
Claim Efficiency When It Comae
mander ef Armed Guard en Steam­
found tjiat it set to a jelly.
te Carrying Children.
ship, Gave Life fo r Country.
The “blasting gelatin” thus dis­
covered proved to be so insensitive
,Claude Kitchin of North Coro­
The first United States naval ofr-
to shock that it could be safely
na. door leader of the house of rep- cer loot in the war with Germssy
transported or fired from s cannon. twntstives, is a modest chap. There was L ieut Clarence C. Thomas ef
This wss the first of the high explo­ * one accomplishment, however, of California, commander of the armed
sives that havs been the chief factor which he is inclined to be boastful. guard on the steamship Vacuum,
in the great war.—E. E. Sloseon in He contends that be is probably the was sunk by a German submarine en
New York Independent.
than-whoraest person in the entire the morning of April IS, 1917.
^
rv -ig c o
z iv z u .
V Z U Z U O IJ,
IV I
O l-V
T O EN C O U R A G E PROPER SPEECH.
A Society for the Prevention of
Cruelty to the English Language ia
the latest organization started in
Chicago. The movement ia spon­
sored by the Chicago Woman’s club,
and every schoolchild in the city will
be asked to sign the following
pledge:
I will not dishonor my country’s
speech by leaving off the last syl­
lable; I will My a good American
“yes” or “no” in place of an Indian
grunt or a foreign “yah” or “yeh” or
“nope;” I will do my best to improve
the American speech by enunciating
distinctly and by spehking pleasant­
ly end sincerely; I will try to make
my country's language beautiful for
the many foreign children who will
oflipa here to live; I will learn to
articulate distinctly and correctly a
word a day for the next school
year.
»
IT S C LASS .
“Where shall I put this account of
a police raid os a faka photograph
gallery f” -
“Put it mnder the head of Arrest­
ed Development”
NO D ELA Y.
______
0
country when it comes to carrying
«mall children.
“ I can tote more kids,” brags
Claude, “then anybody 1”
Doubtless ha is right, for he has
had more favorable conditions to de-
velop hisRkill in that line than fall*
to the lot of the average man. Claude
is the parent of nine girls snd boys.
Who wouldn't attain a certain pro­
ficiency at lugging youngsters, s cer­
tain expert technique, as you might
kav , with the wealth of opportuuitv
right at hand for daily practice?
Kitchin contends that he ran'carry
five children, all too small to walk,
and can d( it with the utmost un­
concern.
*
%
“You tuck two nnder each arm,”
be explains, ftakipg them firmly
about the waists, with the smaller
kid on top and the hands forward.
Hurt makes four. The fifth you cun
lot rido on your shoulders.”
And there are oye witnesses who
doolars that thoy hare soon Claude
Kitchin performing that idsntical
fiat.—Illustrated fhrnday Magazine.
___
GENUINE ADMIRATION.
There was only e moment's warning
before the torpedo struck the ahip.
Lieutenant Thomas and the after
gun’s crew manned the gnn, but twe
minute* later-the stern of the Vac­
uum plunged, throwing Thomas
and
_
< rcw ,,,to th?
P * ? w»re
rexcued bv a ship s boat. The weath-
rr wa* bitterly cold, the sea very
I rough. Within a short time the boat
. capai/ed twice, four men being
! drowned. It w m righted each time,
hut the exposure and the fight
against u heavy sea was too much for
the tailor*. Eleven of the fourteen
tnen, including Lieutenant Thomas,
died and their bodies were swept
overboard. At noon the next day
another lifeboat rescued the three
survivors of the eighteen that wore
originally in the boat. Lieutenant
Thomas was a native of Grass Val­
ley, Cal., born December 96, 1M4.
He entered the Naval aaademy in
; 1894, graduating ia 1906. Ha had
mad# an excellent record in the navy
and was one of the first officers put
i in commend of a naVal gun's
when American merchantman
armed for protection against
rines. T h e four enlisted men ef the
“ I t’s a pity that great orator can't
t
speak German,” remarked Broncho j d ^ * * ^ * ^
¿¡rtT
“Do yes ever ask your wife's ad­
“What makes you think go?”
vice about things?”
“Well, the way he has laid ns
“No, sir; the doesn't wait to ho Crimson Gulchers out for our wick­
asked”
edness inspires confidence. We’d like
___
/
to make up a purse end eend him to
S A C K FROM T H E B A R S A IN .
Berlin to tell th r kaiser exactly what
She (enthusiastically)—Oh, dear, we think of him.”
they sold such cheap things today.' •
P E A C E P R O M O TIO N .
He (disgustedly)—Yes, I see they
•old y*®.___ ___________ ,
“Bernember, this wa t is for the
Irin
of peace.”
S U IC K L Y A N S W E R E D .'
' IN G R A T IT U D E .
“I ’m already beginning to fool the
«What Aid the old miter put dows peaceful resulta in my own home,”
“What splendid work in the war
you asked him for a oontribu- leplisd Mr. Cumros, confidentially.
the tanks are dtoing P
•Nobody plays Wagnerian music any
“ And yet a lot of people want the
—itxy bene d iy .” —Exchange.
“Hi* fool «s the prepoeities."
drowned were Donald i
! n#7 York; »Ckarlre J. Fischer ef
1 phll»d«1Ph,*>
5 CharUe D.
Luckan of Baltimore, m u n ti, and
! Frank Hamlton LeRue of Philadel­
phia,
WOULDN’T WORK.
“Brown’l plans are decidedly
characteristic of the man.”
“How so?”
“Why, they won’t work.”
H i t L IM IT A T IO N S
“Is Bliggins doing his bit F"
' “Yes. Every now and then he tries
on a soldier garment to let hia wife
see whether’she is knitting it rig h t