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O R A P H IC
LAMARTINE’S PRESENTS
\
*
H Won tho Fronoh Author a Big Prloo
For a Little Poom.
OREGON AT THE NORTHWEST PRODUCTS EXPOSmON
The state o f Oregon was fu lly repre
sented a t the Northwest Products Exposi
tion by the finest collections of fruits,
grains, grasses and vegetables that the
state has ever sent E ast to an industrial
and agricultural show. In charge o f the
booths were Messrs. O. E. Freytag o f
Oregon C ity, J . E. Sawhill o f Bend, and
M . J. Duryea o f Eugene, Oregon.
A ll three gentlemen were prominent
speakers a t banquets given by the M in
neapolis Civic and Commerce Association
LITERARY IMPOSTORS.
A50 meteors, the fall of more than
half of which waa observed by au
thentic witnesses. Meteorites are
composed of various minerals— an
aerolite is of stone formation. The
minerals most frequently fonnd are
iron, nickel, magnesium, calcium,
silicon, aluminium and phosphorus.
There are also copper, cobalt, anti
mony, chromium, manganese, tin,
sodium and vanadium. Occasionally
there are traces of gold, silver, plat
inum and lead. No element un
known to our earth has been dis
covered.
•oms of the Clever W riters W ho Have
Deceived the World.
Clever literary impostors who
have deceived the world are numer
ous. (iamelii Currieri, a Neapolitan
gentleman and scholar, while con
fined to his room for a long period
of years by illness, amused himself
by writing an account of an imagi
nary voyage round the world. When
the volume was published, it was
taken as a fact even by learned
people.
The detailed account of a trip to
China, which is credited to Du
Halde, is another literary hoax.
The author had never seen China
and had been sufficiently clever to
compile the work solely from the
memoirs of Chinese missionaries.
It is remarkable, though no less a
fact, that “ Gulliver’s Travels” was
thought to be a true narrative when
it first appeared, and the famous
story of Damberger’s travels was
likewise a hoax.
Varillas, the French historian,
enjoyed a wide reputation as a
chronicler of events, but later it was
discovered that his works were pure
ly fakes. The volumes of this writer
resemble those of Gregorio Reti,
who, in order to keep himself from
starving, appended the most un
heard of incidents to English his-
torv as it was known.
One of the most daring impos
tures on record is that of Joseph
Vella of Sicily. He said that he dis
covered seventeen of the lost books
o f Livy in Arabic. He then set to
work and wrote a translation from
his fancy, which was printed. After
his death the fraud was discovered.
Before his death, however, he fell
under suspicion and was condemned
to imprisonment.
There are countless cases of au
thors selling their names to be put
on works they have never read. Sir
John Hill once contracted to trans
late a Dutch book. After the agree
ment he remembered that he did
not know a word of Dutch. He then
bargained with another translator
to do the work for half the price he
was to receive.
W h ir« P i n ii t i n c i Won.
The quick wit of a traveling sales
man who has since become a well
known proprietor was severely test
ed one day. He sent in his card by
the office boy to the manager of a
large concern, whose inner office
g
was separated from the waiting
room by a ground glass partition.
When the boy handed his card to
% the manager the salesman saw him
impatiently tear it in half and
throw it into the wastebasket. The
hoy came out and told the caller
that he could not see the chief. The
salesman, told the boy to go back
and get him his card. The boy
brought out 6 cents, with the mes
sage that his card was tom up.
Then the salesman took out another
card and sent the boy back, saying :
“ Tell your boss I sell two cards for
5 cents.”
He got his interview and sold a
large bill of goods.— Everybody’s.
Moteoritea.
It was not until the eighteenth
century that science was convinced
that stones. and metals fall from
outer space. The British museum
has now a. collection of more than
Lika Calling For a Drink.
A hard drinker was told by his
doctor that he could be cured if
every time he felt that he must have
a drink he would immediately take
something to eat instead. The man
followed the advice and waa cured,
but the habit of asking for food had
become so fixed with him that once
he was nearly locked up as a lunatic.
He was stopping at a hotel, and,
hearing a great commotion in the
room next to his, he peeped over the
transom to see what the matter was.
He saw and ruBbed madly down to
the office and shouted to the clerk:
“ The man in 153 has shot himself!
Ham and egg sandwich, please!”
Tho Quia toot
In Europe.
Berlin is said to he the quietest
city in Europe. Railway engines are
not allowed to blow thgir whistles
within the city limits. There is no
loud bawling o f hucksters, and a
man whose wagon gearing is found
loose and rattling is subject to a
fine. Strangest of all, piano play
ing is regulated in Berlin. Before
a certain hour in the day and after
a certain hour at night the piano
must be silent in that musical city.
JOHN BRENNAN’S LIE.
It
Traveled Round tho World
Causod Lots ot Anxiety.
and
One of the silliest lies ever told
was the famous invention of Sailor-
man John Brennan of Sligo. It waa
made ont of whole doth. There
wasn’t the shadow of foundation for
it, but there was so much that
might have been true about it that
it was cabled round the world whom
ever men go down to the sea in
ships, and for several hours it kept
hundreds of people on the rack of
anxiety.
About 3 o’clock in the afternoon
of Oct. 14, 1891, a bulletin was post
ed at the New York Maritime Ex
change that the City of Rome had
foundered off St.Shotts.off the coast
of Newfoundland. About the same
time the newspaper offices got a dis
patch from St. John’s, N. K., saying
that Sailorman John Brennan of
Sligo, Ireland, had g o t t o the lit
tle town of Trepasay that morning
from Peter’s river and had declared
that he was probably the only sur
vivor of the City of Rome, which
had struck on the rocks and gone
down. He was in such a condition
of exhaustion that nothing more
could be got out of him until he
had had rest and nourishment.
That story was cabled and tele
graphed everywhere, and at once
the newspapers began to strive for
further details. The first effort was
to get confirmation or denial. It
waa found at once that the City of
Rome had sailed from New York et
such e time that she must havt
been near St. thefts whan Brennan
during
the -course o f
the land
show.
Thousands o f booklets, leaflets and fold
ers o f handsome appearance were dis
tributed to the land seekers who crowded
the show during the entire two weeks.
; said she wa.- theie. That touocu like
| confirmation. The evening papers
got out extras, with lists o f the pas-
i sengers and crew, pictures o f .the
| ship and her history. The offices
of the Anchor line agents were
crowded with persons eager for
news.
But there was no news.
Friends of the passengers flocked
abont the place. The Maritime and'
] Lloyd’s registers were searched for
reports of other ships with names
, similar to that of the City o f Rome.
An Italian Citta di Roma was found,
but when she was tracked it was
found she was all right.
Then the newspapers began to
prepare to send men to the scene of
the wreck. Boston papers got men
off for Halifax, there to take ocean
tugs for St. Shotta. All the time
the telegraph and cable were work
ed for further news from Newfound
land. At last there came a dispatch
from the cable station at Cape Race
to the Anchor line agents here:
“ Your City of Rome passed here
on Tuesday. All well,” it said.
That was all. For the next twen
ty-four hours the truth hustled to
overtake the lie. It succeeded, but
it was a hard chase. Brennan hud
absolutely nothing on which to go
in making up his story. He couldn’t
have known even that the City of
Rome was in New York or had sail
ed. He just fired in the air, and,
as may happen once in ten million
times, he hit the mark.
8ha Understood.
A young man who had a strong
liking for poetry, but a rather medi
ocre talent for writing it, deluded
himself into the belief that the
world was determined to keep him
down.
He continued writing for
years. confident that he would win
fame in the end. Once in conver
sation with a clever girl he started
in on his pet theme.
“ Like the rest of the world,” he
1 said, “ you don’t understand me.
But I can afford to laugh at present
neglect, for I’ m writing for pos
terity.”
“ Oh, I understand you now.” re
plied the girl. “ So that’s the reason
your poems are not published dur
ing your lifetime!” — Denver Times.
W hy a Cat’s Eyos 8hino In tho Dork.
A cat’s eyes shine in the dark not
because they produce light, but be
cause they reflect all the light that
may reach them. If the cat is in a
totally dark room one cannot see its
eyes; it is only when there is at
least a glimmer of light that these
glow. The cat’s eye is a powerful
lens with a reflector behind. This
gathers the rays and concentrâtes
them in a horizontal beam. It is
possible that these shining eyeb ex
ercise a sort of hypnotic fascination
over mice and rats.
Easy W a y.
An attendant at a certain insti
tute for the deaf and dumb was un
dergoing a pointless rapid fire in
quisition at the hands of a female
visitor.
“ But how do you summon these
r mutes to church?” she asked
ally, with what was meant to be
a pitying glance et the inmates
near hy.
“ By ringing the dumb bell«, mad
am,” retorted the exasperated at
tendant. Ijoudon Answers.
Francois Buloz, the founder and
editor of the famous French jour
nal, La Revue des Deux Mondes,
was by no means celebrated for his
generosity to contributor!. <One
day shortly after the publication of
Lamartine’s “ Lea Girondins,” and
while the literary world VM ringing
with the fame of its great author,
Buloz called on him and asked him
to write an article for his magazine.
Lamartine consented, but stated
that he could not have it ready for
some weeks.
Buloz, fearing that this was only
excuse and that he would never
get the article, offered Lamartine
an advance. It so happened that
the author was in need of 4,000
francs at that time, and he so in
formed the editor, who at once
handed over the money. Three
months later he called Lamartine’s
attention to the fact that the con
tribution had: not yet been received.
It was toward the end of 1847, and
the great author was devoting his
entire time to politics.
“ While you are waiting for this
article would you care for a little
poem I have here ?” he asked Buloz.
He enthusiastically replied in the
affirmative.
Months later, when Lamartine
had become minister of foreign af
fairs, Buloz again called upon him
to remind him of the promised con
tribution.
“ But you see my position,” an
swered the minister, “ how busy I
ami”
Buloz frowned.
“ But, citizen minister, a certain
amount of money was advanced,
and the interests of my magazine do
not permit me to” —
“ How much was it ?”
“ Four thousand francs.**
Lamartine took this amount of
money from the drawer and laid it
upon ftis desk.
The editor, however, looked some
what embarrassed.
“ Well, what more can I do for
you? You have your money.”
“ The fact ia, I owe you for a small
poem.
“ Oh, that’s not worth mention
ing! I’ll make you a present of it.”
Buloz drew himself up haughtily.
“ Citizen minister, La Revne dea,
Deux Mondes does not accept pres
ents. How much do I owe yon V*
■ “ Oh, well, if yon insist,” answered
Lamartine dryly as he took up the
4,000 francs and replaced them in
his drawer, “ we will call it square !*'
Lata News.
SAVED BY CLEAN HANDS'
Thrllli.tg Inoidont of tho Days of tho
Paris Communo.
Frederic Villiers’ “ Peaceful Per
sonalities and Warriors Bold” con
tains a striking and somewhat bloody
tale of the terrible days of the Paris
commune. An unnamed English
mans tells the story of himself and
Archibald Forbes, the great war
correspondent: “ There was a good
deal of fighting in the streets at the
time, for the Versailles troop« were
pressing hard upon the communists.
One afternoon, in a street not far
from where we were sitting, I was
rounded up by a party of rebels and
made to work erecting a barricade,
when I found another Englishman
pressed for the same business. It
was Forbes, the war correspondent.
We chummed together at our dis
tasteful work, which we were com
pelled to do or risk being shot for
spies.
“ Presently the barricade waa at
tacked by the Versailliata, and the
communists, after a sharp fight,
were driven helter skelter down the
street. Forbes and I ran with them.
Presently he shouted, ‘Dive into
that wineshop on the left!’ I im
mediately did so, and Forbes, catch
ing hold o'f me, pushed me through
a shop to a back yard, where we
found a pump. ‘Now,’ said he, *wash
your hands quickly and let me have
a turn.’ After our ablutions he hur
ried me back into the street. That
simple incident of washing my hands
saved my life, and I always remem
ber it with gratitude.
“ We had hardly gained the street
before we were roughly arrested by
the victorious troops, who would not
listen to any explanation, and were
hurried along with many other pris
oners till we came to a blank wall,
where a halt was made. About a
dozen of us were made to stand in a
line with our backs to the wall.
‘Hands up!’ cried the officer in
charge.
“ The* poor devils who had soiled
hands were told to remain. Forbes
and I were the only men who were
allowed to fall out, for our hand«
showed no sign of barricade work or
soil of powder upon them. Before
we realized what had happened the
rest were riddled with bullets. I t
was a ghastly sight.” . ,—
Not In Sight.
Judiolal Sarcasm.
D E N T IS T
Office over First National
Bank
Phone White 3*1
D R . A . M D A V IS
i
DENTIST
Offloo ovar Forguaon’ a^Oruo Storo £
PHONE BLACK 37
Dr# John S. R ankin
PHYSICIANS mm4 SURGEONS
O ffice over U . S . N ational Bank
O ffice phone B lue 171
Residence Phone Black 115
i
Æ
LITTLEFIELD & ROMIG
P H Y S IC IA N S A S U R G E O N S
O ffice in F i n i N a t’ l Bank Building
P h o n -, Black 31
D R .T H O S . W . H ESTER
Physician and Surgeon
O ffice in D ixon Building
: NEWBERG
- - OREGON
C. F. CHAPIN
LAW YER
P ractice in all co u rts; P robate, D eeds,
M ortgages and all legal pa peas. A b
stracts examined.
Dr. AU n C. Bower*
Dr. H D. Bower
A countryman named Street own Drs. Bow ers & Bow ers
ed a runaway cow. As the season
OSTEOPATHIC PHYSICIANS
advanced Street was compelled to
Graduate*ot
A. . d a . u O..
Mo.
u
n i u u s t c B v i the
u ic a
.. a KlrksriUe,
ir u T iiie , a
so.
L y e a r 's p ost-gradu ate work in Cs
make several long pilgrimages into
fornia ju s t com pleted. W om en ’ s
the country for the reprehensible
D iseases a Specialty.
animal.
O ffice, upstairs opposite postoffice.
On one occasion the trail led on
Phones: O ffice, W h ite 75; R e s .--------------
and on until Street had entered the
environs of a town where a new
trolley system was installed. Just
as the cow hunter turned a comer
in the outskirts, the car lumbered
Dentist
up and the conductor called out:
Phone O ffice W h ite 22
R es. W h ite 8
“ Cedar Street!”
N
ew
berg,
O
regon
The owner of the estrayed cow
stopped in his tracks and bawled
back at the man in blue and gold:
DR. G. E. STU AR T
“ No, dam her, I ain’t seed her,
Physician & Surgeon
and when I do it won’t be good fer
her blamed old hide either I” — At
Chronic dùcale* • specially. Calls answered
lanta Constitution.
promptly day or night.
caio
In earlier days it was a custom in
many households for each child to
learn a verse from the Bible each
Sunday. In this way the children
became familiar with the wonderful
book, and to them the experience
described in “ The Unvarying East,”
by Rev. E. J. Hardy, could not have
happened.
Sir Ernest Shackleton said one
morning to a little waiting maid
who brought him tea, “ What a
rainy day, Mary! It is almost like
the flood.”
“ The flood, sir?” responded the
Convenient Arrangement.
little maid, with a puzzled smile.
“ What are you buying now F*
“ Yes, the flood, Noah, you know,
“ I am looking for some present
the ark, Mount Ararat.”
to give my wife on her birthday. I
She shook her head and murmur tell you, making presents costs a
ed, apologetically, “ I ain’t had time heap of money.”
to read the papers lately, sir.”
“ Why don’t you do as I do? I
have never failed to make my wife
A “ Jumbi# Bird.”
a present on her birthday every year
In the West Indies is found a for twenty-five years, and I am not
bird called the sunset bird, because a penny out thus far.”
half an hour before sunset and half
“ How do you manage it?”
an hour before sunrise it utters its
“ It is very simple. After we were
peculiar cry of “ Soleil coucher!” married, when her birthday came
The natives call it a “ jumbie bird” round, I gave her a £5 note. When
(a bird possessed of the devil) and my birthday came round, she gave
say that to kill it would bring death me the note back, and we have kept
to its slayer. Another bird found in that up ever since, and neither of
the same region is the “ Soufrière us is out a penny.” — London Tit-
bird,” which makes its home near Bits.
the volcano of Soufrière, and among
the natives there is a strong belief
Ancient Science.
*
that the first individual to see this
It is generauy supposed that those
bird will die, while the most horrible who combated the opinion that the
torture bv evil spirits awaits the earth was a sphere when Columbns
man who kills it.
proposed his great voyage were only
giving expression to opinions that
Willing to Conform.
had always been entertained. But
“ Richard,” said his precise wife the fact is that long before the
in an undertone, “ it is all right for Christian era the Greek and Egyp
you to avoid elaborate ceremony in tian philosophers entertained the
introducing the guests to one an idea that the earth was round and
other, but I wish you would not say, knew vastly more about eclipses, the
Mr. Throgson, shake hands with motions of the moon and other as
Mr. Wigmore.’ 1 do not approve of tronomical matters than many do
that style of introduction.”
even today. The idea of Columbus
“ All right, Amaryllis,” heartily had been anticipated by more than
responded the host. “ I’ U cut that sixteen centuries.— New York Amer
out. Hello, Flatbush! Awfully glad ican.
to see you. Mr. Flatbush, wiggle
flippers with Mr. Skimmerhorn.” —
At Other* 8aw Him.
Chicago Tribune.
A day or two ago it fell out that
^ A ll I demand for mv client,” de
manded the prisoner’s counsel in
the voice of a man who was paid
for it. “ is justice.”
“ 1 am very snrrv 1 can’t accom
modate you," rejdied the judge, “ but
the luw won’t allow me to give him
more than fourteen years *• —Stray
Stories.
DR. C. A. ELDRIEDGE
Dr. E. P. Dixon
Office 213 Main St opposte Commercial Hotel
Phones: Office, Black 21; Res., Red 69
A . E. W I L S O N
O p t ic ia n
Eyes examined and glasses made
to fit
Phone Blue 38
202 F irst S t.
J. C. PRICE
DENTIST
Office over U. S. Natl. Bank
Phone Black 171
V e te r in a ry S u rg e o n
: : DR. J. J. M U R R A Y ; ;
Graduate o f American Veterinary
College, New York City, 1881
< Ï
Office Commercial Stables.
Phone Black 112
W . W . Hollingsworth & Son
- uneral Director! & Em balm era
Calls Answe-ed Day or Night
Lady Assistants. No extra charge
Office, White 25
N ew berg,
Rea. Black 94
Ore.
W IL L IA M M. R A M S E Y
an actor with a purpose waa cine-
Attorney-at-L&w
matographed on the stage and was
M c M i n n v i l l e ,
O r e g o n
vastly pleased with the result.
O ffice in the Elaia W rig h t Building
Said he gleefully to a prominent
Third street
dramatic .critic, “ It was the most
extraordinary experience I ever
went through— actually to see my
G . O . K E E X E Y
self acting.”
“ Now.” said the prominent dra
at Hodson B ros. Store
matic critic, “ yon understand what
Cleaning, Pressing and Praticai
we have to put up with.”
Tailoring