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Grave Tactical Mistake of a Budding
English General.
When General Gordon was a lad at
school he was aa mischievous as moat
boys. When tbe boys had done any­
thing wrong they were abut up In a
large, barely furulabed room and set
to write lines from a Latin author.
Gordon was one o f tbe most fre­
quent prisoners In this room, and be
used to be annoyed by tbe boys who
were free coming to tbe door and Jeer-
g at blm through tbe keyhole. Re­
solving to get even, be procured a
large syringe, and. taking It with blm
tbe next time be went- to write tinea,
be went round to .tbe various desks
and sucked up tbe Ink Into tbe syringe.
By and by be heard stealthy foot
steps coming down the passage. Near­
er and nearer they came and at last
baited outside tbe door. “Tbey are
peeping through tbe keyhole,” whisper­
ed tbe future general, and, placing the
syringe to the keyhole, be squirted tbe
contents through with all the energy
be could muster.
There was a smothered exclamation
of disgust and tben some one fumbled
with tbe handle o f tbe door. It opened,
and In stalked tbe bead master, hla
face black with wrath and hla once
snowy shirt front black with Ink. We
must draw a veil over tbe painful
scene which followed.—London G lob»
We wish to thank all our
patrons and friends for
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their liberal patronage the
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past year and wish you a
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Happy and Prosperous
HART'S EASY JOB.
NEW YEAR
2 ^.
jfcoMingswort/i &
" T H E
S T O R E
O F
Q U A L I T Y "
Phone W hite 25
I
Corner o f First and Howard
DUNDEE
/ him tnroughout a long and nse-
‘ ful life.
^
A local W. C. T. U. institute
will be held at the Dundee church
on Friday, January 3. The
morning program will begin at
9:30. In the evening there will
be a girl’s gold medal contest.
The friends o f Grandpa Ryan
will be glad to hear that he has
s > far recovered from his recent
illness to be able to be about the
house.
Francis C. Little, o f Portland,
spent Sunday in the Red Hills.
Theodore W. Spencer and Miss
Spencer are spending Christmas
with relatives in Portland.
Frank Keyes and Fred Jannsen
are in Salem where Mr. Keyes is
putting in a prune orchard on
his property.
The Dundee Sunday school
children had a Christmas tree at
church on Christmas eve. A de­
lightful program was given and
Kttle hearts were made happy
by pretty gifts.
W. J. Bennett and B. F. Joy
were playing at clearing land a
few days ago. The rolled a big
boulder down hill.
It •was
stopped by a fence and lodged so
firmly that nothing but dynamite
was able to move it, which slight­
ly discomfited and disfigured the
fence.
W. L. Bishop, M. D., o f Billings,
Montana, has rented the Brey-
man place. Mrs. Bishop and
tw o Kttle daughters are visiting
in Portland but will move to
the new home in a few days.
Thé children o f the primary
grades were given the choice o f a
program for last Friday after­
noon or the privilege of bringing
materials and making gifts for
their parents. They chose the
latter and one who doubts the
skill o f children o f that age would
be wonderfully surprised at the
beauty o f the gifts fashioned by
the loving little fingers.
Mr. and Mrs. G. B. Sewell,"of
Grand Junction, Colorado, who
were guests this summer of Wm.
Hill and tamily, have rented Mr.
Hill’s place at Toledo, Oregon
and will take possession immedi­
ately.
G. W. Harding has rented the
hotel at Dundee and is prepared
to accommodate the traveling
public.
Real Estate Transí
Jno T Anderson (by Admr) to
H. L. Pedersen 221.40 ac in secs
21-22 & 27 in tp 2 s r 5 w $4000.
C A Cavell to James & Estella
Moad lot 5 blk 2 Cavell’s add
Newberg Oregon $J50.
John W C oovert& w f to Lillian
J Johnson lots 2-3-4-5 blk 2 Lip-
pincott’s 1st add Dayton $4000.
Walter Everest & wf to Sam’l
L and Dillie Parrett: 27885 sq
ft in Richard Everest die in t 3 s
r 2 w $190.
Abbie Force to W Z Force n cVi
blk 5 Hauswirths 2nd add N
Yamhill $800.
J I Gilbert & w f to A L Dun­
can 25 ac.in Wm Buffum & T B
Jackson die’s in t 5 s r 4 w $2,-
200 .
H Hayman to May Hayman
lot 4 blk 16 City Park add New­
berg $125.
Sylvanus E Lewis & w f to J R
& Nellie Marvin sVa lot 1 blk 5
Jos Watt’s add Amity $2,500,
Jennie M Lee & hub to Love-
gren Lumber Co 16.69 ac in sec
1 t 2 r 5 and s e c 6 t l s r 4 w
$ 100 .
B C Miles & wf to Carrie
Chrier lot 8 blk 1 City Park add
Newberg $125.
B. C Miles & w f to H Hayman
lot 4 blk 16 City Park add New­
berg $125.
W G Moore & wf to B G
Crawford s% o f %Va & seVi o f nw
Vi sec 35 t 2 s r 6 w $5.
Rosina A Morse to Norman
Gooss lots 291 and 292 Dayton
$900.
A W Newby and w f to Jno M
and Evelyn M Umphlette Frac
part of lot 3 blk 11 Jos Watts
1st add Amity $100
Albert Pfiffner to S F Deming
25 ac in eH o f e% sec 2 t 6 s r 8
w. $1700.
Sea-Wood Realty Co to Carl F
and Sophie Starke tract 42 Sea-
Wood ac $1000.
On Thursday,- the nineteenth,
a bouncing boy came to the home
of Mr. and Mrs. Frank Neider-
berger. The happy parents are
t o be congratulated on the ad­
vent o f a Christmas baby. The
b ret wishes o f the community
m n extended to Little Frank
w ith.the hope that the spirit o f
The Graphic and the Evening
t h : holiday season may attend Telegram to Jan. 1914, fo r $160.
(Jit
t l s p t F o r a W e e k a n d M ade E n o u g h to
L iv e o n F o r a Y ea r.
POISON IN ITS AIR.
J a v a 's
V a lla y o f D eath , W h a ra
C a n n ot E x ist.
t-if#
The Valley or Death D on tbe Island
o f Java. It I m the most remarkable
natural example o f an atmosphere
loaded with carbonic acid gas In ex­
istence. It has never been fully ex­
plored because o f the danger o f re­
maining more than a few moments tn
Its |H>isououa atmoapbere.
Approached through an opening be­
tween the hllla. It Is seen to be an oval
shaped valley about half a mile acroea.
It la about thirty-five feet deep. The bot­
tom la hard and sandy, without vegeta­
tion and strewn with large stones. Tbe
surface la covered with the bones of
animals, birds and human beings.
Explorers seldom venture beyond the
borders, though the deadly air does not
immediately affect bn man beings- This
la because tbe carbonic add gas. being
heavier than tbe atmosphere, settles to
tbe bottom o f the valley. Doga and
fowls thrown into it fall senseless in­
stantly and die In a few minutes. No
craters or fissures are visible or> the
floor o f this valley, and it Is thought
that the openings are near the base of
the hills.—Exchange.
To sleep for one’s living, says tbe
London Chronicle, may appeal to some
as a more attractive alternative than to
work for one’s living. But tbe feat baa
been achieved. In tbe Daily Oourant of
▲ug. 9. 1711. tbe following advertise­
ment appears: "Nicholas H art who
slept last year In 8 t Bartholomew’s
hospital. Intends to sleep this year at
tbe Cock and Bottle In Little Britain.”
Some further particulars of this profes­
sional aomnollat are to be found In tbe
Spectator for O ct 1 o f that year. It
appears that Hart waa every year
seized with a periodical fit of sleeping,
which began on Aug. fi and ended on
tbe 11th. Its various stages are thus
described:
“On the 1st o f that month be grew
dnll; on tbe 2d, appeared drowsy; on
tbe 3d. fell a-yawnlng; on the 4th, be­
gan to nod; on the 5th, dropped asleep;
on tbe 6th, was beard to snore; on the
7th. turned himself In hla bed; on the
8th. recovered his former posture; on
tbe 9th, fell a-stretching; on the 10th.
about midnight, awaked; on the 11th,
In the morning, called for a little small
beer.” This performance, it la asserted,
gained for Hart “ enough to support
himself for a twelvemonth."
Polished and Vigorous.
Observing a passenger with tbe ■
lighted butt o f a cigar In hla Angara.
tbe street car conductor requested him
to put It out.
“ It Is out. you chump.” responded
the passenger.
“ Pardon me.” resumed tbe conductor,
“if I have failed to make myself clear.
The condition to which I bad reference
was not one of mere temporary non­
combustion. but o f elimination, tbe
eradication. J might say. o f the physi­
cal presence o f your nicotine laden rem­
nant. this process followed necessarily
by cessation o f the odor now permeat­
ing an atmosphere already somewhat
deficient, I fear. In tbe essential ele­
ment o f oxone. I’ m a humble conduct­
or. and my aim Is to please; but. yon
big porcine stiff, yon throw that cigar
through tbe door or I’ll throw you and
It both. Hear
"Excuse me. professor." replied tbe
passenger meekly, and tbe Incident
T o C h e e r H im .
The w ife o f bis bosom was going to was dosed.—Philadelphia Ledger.
leave him for a fortnight, and Flts-
R u n n in g a s E x e rcis e .
Tomklna was trying his very best to
The
tact
that a person Is capable of
look sad.
MMy dear.” he said, choking back a doing tbe best running and speed
chuckle with hla handkerchief and wip­ walking before the thirtieth veer need
ing his eyes. *T hardly like to think not lead those who have passed the
bow I shall miss yon. The evenings third decade to think that they are on
will be so long and lonely without you. tbe down grade o f life, says an au­
thority. These exercises call for elas­
I shall have no one to talk to."
“ George.” said Mrs. Fit*, surveying ticity of the arteries, and that lessens
him with a marble eye. “ 1 have pro­ soon after the thirtieth year, but pow­
vided for your comfort In this as In ers o f endurance Increase In tbe well
every other way. When yon return preserved man or woman np to fifty
home you will And dear mother there. or fifty-five or even later. Soldiers
She will remain till 1 come back and of fifty are like leather and can per
keep yon company In tbe evenings. form feats o f endurance that wonld
kill tbe stripling, and tbe same la trae
George.”
And as the train slowly glided out of of women.
the station the guard wondered why
D a m e F ortu n e.
Pita-Tom kins nearly bit him when be
-*Pa, why do tbey call It ‘ Dame’ For­
Insinuated a tip.—London Telegraph.
tune?"
"Because Dame la feminine. For­
Ireland’s Coast Cliffs.
tune la symbolized as a woman.”
The finest cliff scenery in the United
"Why do they symbolize Fortune as
Kingdom Is on the coast o f tbs county
a woman T '
of Donegal, at tbs northwest o f Ire­
“ Because she’s nearly alwaya late
land. facing tbs Atlantic, where the va­ when you bave an engagement with
riety and grandenr o f tbe cliffs are her.” —Chicago Record-Hera Id.
most thrilling and impressive. 8lleve
League, sonth o f Glen Colombkllle, Is a
T o o k W in d O u t e f T h e ir S eile.
superb Introduction to Donegal’s coast
Addressing one of his southern audi­
splendors. In less than half a mile ences. 8am Jones once requested all
from tbs sea tbe mountain rears Its
tbe husbands present who bad not
height o f nearly 2,000 feet in the
spoken a harsh word to tbelr wives for
Island o f Achlll. off the west coast of a month to stand np He shook hands
Ireland, tbe cliffs o f Crogban. at
with those who arose and then Intro
Achlll Head, rise sheer from the wa­
dneed them to the rest of the audi­
ter’s edge to tbe dlzsy height o f 8,000
ence aa tbe “ twenty-seven biggest Mart­
fe e t—London Standard.
in Tern
D e fra u d in g th # W a ite r.
In a Parisian cafe an American or­
dered a bora d’oeuvre, sole, agneau
pre aale, artichoke salad. peche lleltw.
and so on. and when tbe waiter
brought him a bill o f 80 francs bu paid
It like d man. After hla change was
brought be counted It end pushed a
franc toward the waiter for a tip. But
tbe man. pushing back tbe franc, said
in gentle reproach :
"Pardon, monsieur, but that Is tbe
counterfeit franc "
The Best New Years Gii
for that son or daughter is a Savings account
with this bank. Open the account in his or
her name and give a present that will be o f
practical value. Teach the child the thrift
habit and let him see how money in the bank
makes money. No lesson will mean m ore to
his future success. $1 will make the start
United States National Bank
NCWeCRQ, OREGON
Opera
Grill ■ &
Confectionery
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’ Most com plete and up-to-date line o f Confectionery
Cigars and Tobaccos in the city. W e also i
First Class Meals and Lunches
at All Hours
309 FIRST ST.
Ila
COOK & RIDDER, Props.
A M ARK OF REFINEMENT
Cleanliness o f person is one o f the most
distinguishing marks o f refinement, and com ­
mands at all times the highest respect
T o prom ote cleanliness, install in your
sleeping apartment or dressing room a snowy-
white, one-piece UteffdwT
Porcelain Enameled Lava­
to ry , p r o v id e d w ith an
abtmdsmt flow o f hot and
cold running water.
O ur plumbers are «lnlk«l
mechanics and d o satisfac­
tory work.
Let us quote you prices.
Bargains at
M. J. Nash Co.
3 0 * F I R S T S T .,
N EW BERG, OR.
Dry Goods, Notions and
Ladies Furnishing Goods
Shoes
The Newberg
Transfer Co.
CHASE & UNTON
G RAVEL COM PANY
is prepared to transfer
your goods anywhere,
any place any time.
All kinds o f gravel for con­
crete work, cement blocks,
or wood work furnished on
short notice.
Prices Reasonable
»
Telephone White 85
Office phone Black 100, or
residence 1 Black 123
pho
phones < Red 79
Call up ( Red 80
Farm Loans
R e a listic.
“ How did tbe moving pictures o f the
wedding torn out?”
"Ob. splendidly
They caught the
bride when she was knocked senseless
by being bit with an old shoe, so that
It Is Just aa nntnral aa Ilfs.” —Chicago
Record-Harald
We have money to loan on
^ TTORNEY-AT-LAW
first mortgage on improved
farm security in Yamhill coun­
CLARENCE BUTT
ty, from three to five years
Will practice in all the courts of the with attractive r t p a y m e n t
itate. Special attention given to pro- > privileges.
All who bave meant good work with bate
work, the writing o f deeds, mort- |
tbelr whole heart have done good work, «ages, contracts and the drafting o f all
althoegh they may die before they legal papers.
here fip e i It—B. I*
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Newberg, Oregon.
Otvwm —Second Floor
Bank o f Newberg Building.
A. H. BIRRELL & C O „
202 McKay Bldg., 3rd & Stark
Portland, Oregon