Newberg graphic., November 28, 1912, Page 6, Image 6

T H E N EW B E R C U R AP H IC
SWEEP OF A SAND SPOUT. ¡ ABSURD
Fury o f • Storm That Whirlod A oro«»
an Aaian Doaort.
EAR ORNAMENTS.
GroUoqu« M in n tr In Which African
Nativos Adorn Thomoolvos.
SEEING A JOKE.
Sometimos On« Max
Wfcoro It Do«« Not Ex lot.
E xecutrix en d E xecutor* N o tic e
o f Final Settlem ent.
Notlot tohorobjr girón that tba nndaratgnad
Superficially, desert and ocean
No people in the world ere fonder
A joke depends almost entirely XxM utiix and ZxMutor of tita lait will and
are entirely unlike. One is water­ of personal adornment than the on its environment for appreciation. Tsatasaantof J. C. Luoaa, deooatod, bar« filad
thalr Suoi account ai Mid Executrix and Exa-
less, the other nothing but water. black natives of Africa, and one o f Lots of our jokes would fall mighty outor
of tbo last Will and T ntam tnt and «stato
But they have their similarities their favorite forms is to load the flat, I guess, in Zululand or Siberia, ol «aid docadont in tb« oounty count of T am­
nevertheless. Under the compulsion ears with all manner of rude orna­ just the same as the funny stories bili County, Oregon, and that laid court bai
of a whirling wind particles of des­ menta The absurd extremes to of those countries would be a dead appointed, Monday Ooeombar 2 nd, » 12 , at 10 -
M. of mid day a i the day and boar
ert sand and particles of sea water which this custom is carried in some weight over here. Every country o’cloekA.
for tba boaring objootloni to mid Anal lecount
set very much alike. A terrifying arts of Africa is described by Mr. has its own particular brand of hu­ and «etilen»in t thereof.
Now, therefor« all portoni ln u m te d In tbo
illustration of this fact was afford­ . Bland-Sutton in “ Man and Beast mor, and to appreciate it to the full
•Hail of mid daeadant or* biroby notified and
ed to Mr. Warner Van Orden, who In Eastern Ethiopia:”
you must have been born in that required to appoor at tb i County Court room ot
was traveling across China on mis­
“ ^he boys and girls at the age of country or lived there for many MoMlnnrilli, mid oountr and itato, at mid
sionary business. He relates hip ex­ thirteen or fourteen have their ear yean. The Laplanders appear to tima to than and thire ibow eaum, if any
perience in the New York Times:
lobes pierced. A thin spigot o f wood us to be a pretty solemn race, bat I there be, why mid amount »hould not bo iet-
As we drew near a large town in is inserted in the hole, which is dare say they have their little jokes Ued, allowed and approred. and mid eetato
forerer and finally lettled and mid Executrix
a valley we left the green wheat- gradually enlarged by the introduc­ about the quality o f the oil they and Ex motor dleohargod.
fields behind and found ourselves tion of thicker pieces until it is sometimes have to drink and other
Dated October SI, » 12 .
ANNA A. LUCAS,
on a quivering, fiery desert— not s large enough to receive a stone subjects interesting tq their mode
C. 4 . CLKMENSON,
house in sight, not a tree, only the with a groove running round it. of living.
Joint Xxmutrlx and Xxmutor of tba la it
yielding, treacherous, slippery sand. These stones vary in size, but the
In every country, too, there is a Will and Tee lament of J . C. Luca», dece »«ed
Suddenly there f ppeared on the ho­ ultimate result is the transforma­ certain percentage of the people Clarenoe Butt,
Attorney for eetate.
7 -pd
rizon a deep yellowish cloud that ex­ tion of the lobe into a rounded cord­ who couldn’t see a joke, however
tended rapidly from the northwest like loop, which in the black ears broad it might be. There are hu­
to the south.
of these men and women looks like morously dull people in Ireland as
Our pack train, the donkey boys, a ring of india rubber. Among the well as humorously bright people in
everything about us, became tinged Masai the full size is attained when Scotland, Why, some time ago I
OREGON « a d W A SH IN G TO N
with its fulvous hue. Our guide, a the cutaneous ring of one side will received a letter from an Irishman
great, hulking lad, displayed consid­ meet its fellow over the crown of saying that he had read all my
erable nervousness, at which I was the head. '
Directory o t eoch City, Town oad
books from cover to cover, and he
Ville««, girine deecrlptlve sketch o t
surprised, for one becomes inur­
“ When the lobe has been stretch­ considered they were the most se­
eoch placo, location, popalatloa, tole-
ed to dust storms in this part of ed to its utmost capacity it becomes rious things ever published. He
graph. ihlpplng and banking potati
China. Each succeeding minute the the receptacle of many strange thought most of the stories would
also Clamilled Directory, oompUod by
business and professioa.
wind increased in force.
Great things, such as plugs of wood, rings go fine if they were dramatized and
‘ E L FO LK M CO.
blasts of air drove the sharp sand of horn or ebony, and occasionally put on the stage in the form of
against our faces until the tears be­ a can or gallipot. The British mu­ tragedies.
gan to wash their way down our seum has a stone ear plug that
As to the British sense of humor
cheeks.
weighs two pounds fourteen ounces. being less keen than the Ameri­ Yamhill County Abstract Co.
Now the yellow cloud in the west It is not an uncommon sight to see can, there’s nothing in it. English
J. H. GIBSON, Mgr.
gradually became darker until it natives with scores of rings in each men and women are just as quick to
was transformed into the most omi­ ear.
see a joke aa we are, sometimes a
T h e on ly A b stra ct B ooks in
nous blackness. It was moving to­
“ The ornamenta possess various good deal quicker, and 1 know I
Y a m h ill C ounty
ward us with greet rapidity. In­ social or tribal significance. No never want more appreciative audi­
stinctively we slipped from our Masai woman ventures to leave off ences than thoae I got in London.
O rego n
beasts and crouched beside them. her ear adornments in the presence Why, they’ d start laughing before I M c M innville .
My animal was shaking like a leaf, of her husband. Should she happen began, and when I’d come on to the
too frightened even to whinny. The to take them off in his absence she platform and look at them in e
air was heavily charged with elefc would on his return run into the solemn kind of way some of them
tricity. We tingled all over.
hut and resume them immediately. would double up with merriment.
In the twinklng of an eye, just as
“ To break one of those rings of
Sometimes, however, anticipation
we expected to be buried inf sand, tissue is a great offense, and ac­ is a bit awkward— aa, for instance,
the whole scene changed. Thevtorm cordingly when native women ‘fall when a humorous lecturer being un­
Can’t make stale groceries
seized the great dark clond as if out’ they snatch at each other’s ear able to appear his place was taken
palatable.
Better make
with a mighty hand and twisted it loops and seek to spoil one an­ by a minister who wished to dis­
round into a whirling column, twen­ other’s ‘beauty.’ The tribes have course on the evils of intemperance.
your purchases of
ty yards in diameter, that stood for men among them, however, who are The audience,'it appears, was not
a moment perfectly upright. Then, skillful enough in plastic surgery to informed of the change (there might
little by little, it leaned forward,, reunite the ends of br roken ear loops. have been a riot), and. When the
and like a great specter it swept by
“ Just how strong is the desire of j good man came on the platform and
who carries a nice clean
ns, passing so near that grains of the black man to mutiliate his body stated that his subject would be the
stock o f everything that
sand flying off at a tangent struck can be seen by the fact that the na­ dUrse of rum those present went
is good to eat
us with incredible force. When a tive police, after three years of into convulsions of merriment. The
mile away it unwrapped its shroud civilizing service under the govern­ more grave and solemn the lecturer
and collapsed directly across our ment, generally go back to their na­ became the more the people rolled
Call W hite 114 and you
road. The donkey boy bent over, tive villages, strip off their uni- on their seats in ecstasies of mirth
will get Prompt S e r v i c e
scooped np a handful of sand and forms, smear themselves with greasy until at last the astonished divine
tossed it to the dying wind. All was clay and weight down their ears closed his book with a bang and re­
99
still.
—-
-------
with wooden plugs and metal rings. tired. Now, I dare say in that case
It was some time before we could
the real lecturer would hardly have
speak. Then I asked the boy why he
created so much amusement as did
A Chair For tho Editor.
For A W arm O vercoat
threw the sand. He replied in little
Although the source of this little his substitute, which proves that a
com e and see
more than a whisper tnat the sand anecdote about Mark Twain is not humorist with a reputation has
M U E L L E R , T h e T ailor
spout was the most voracious of all definitely known, there is no good something of a pull over the un­
the devils and that unless it was ap­ reason, according to Harper’s Mag­ known man, though the latter may
He makes them fo r ladies and
peased it might arise directly under azine, to doubt ita genuineuesa:
really be funnier.— Mark Twain.
gents. His samples «re winners.
ns, hurling us into the air aa a
One morning soon after Mr.
Opposite P. O.
Phone Black 52
hound does a rabbit. I believe, had Clemens had purchased an interest
Bohind and B efo re.
Newberg, Oregon
I been alone, I should have cast a in the Buffalo Express he arrived
The patience of the sergeant ma­
little sand myself. Later, when we at the office to begin his duties as jor was well nigh exhausted. The
beheld the hundreds and hundreds editor. There happened to be no recruits in the riding school were
of tons of sand piled up where the one present who knew him. A hopeless. It seemed as if none of
“ spout” had fallen, I realized where­ young man rose very brusquely
rusquely and them had ever had any previous
NEWBERG
in our real danger had been. Had asked if there was any one be would acquaintance
with a horse.
qv
the great mass fallen on us we like to see. It is reported that
One of them seemed, if possible,
should have been buried twenty feet Mark Twain replied, with gentle de­ worse than the rest. He had a per­
deep. rr_______________
sistent habit of turning his head
liberation :
“
Well,
yes.
I
should
like
to
see
„
round
to have a look at the rear of
Foundry and Machine
South 8 « « Island Customs.
some young man offer the new edi- his fiery steed. The sergeant major
W ork,
When a south sea island mother tor a chair.”
1 had already remonstrated with him,
wishes to chastise her child she sel­
Pulleys, Shafting and
-- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
j but to no avail.
dom resorts to slapping, and slip­
W itchoo in Eggeholie.
i “ Look here, my son!” he roared.
M achine Screws
pers, of course, she has none. In­
When Napoleon III. was ap- , “ Have you never seen a horse’s tail
stead of using the forms of punish­
proaching sovereignty he asked a before ?”
Sixth and Blaine Sts.
ment customary among civilized
“ No, sir,” came the smart and
mothers she pulls the child’s hair judicious friend to observe him prompt reply. “ I have alwaya seen ♦»♦♦♦♦••»♦♦»eeeeeeeeee««»»
carefully for a week and to point
or bites some part of the body, gen­
out to him anything that he did it behind!” — London Answers.
erally the fleshy part of the arm.
which waa not according to the
In wandering about the village one
W hiotlor 8 avod Him.
severest
code of the manner of a
sees many children having on their
A
certain
famous English poet
well bred man. At the end of the
bodies scan produced by wounds in­
week there was only one practice whose name the reader must be left
flicted by their mothers’ teeth.
which his friend had noticed. The to fill in for himself was once threat­
When a mother wishes to caress her
emperor after eating a boiled egg ened with expulsion from a swell
child she deftly draws her thumb
invariably thrust his spoon through London club for dancing a f&ndan- Sem i-W eekly Oregon Journal,
across its eyebrow or cheek or gen­
one y e a r ...........................................$1.
it. Whence this practice has arisen, o upon the silk hats of other mem-
Graphic,
one y e a r ............ .............„ 1.60
tly seizes its cheek between her
>ra. James A. McNeill Whistler,
at one time not uncommon, it is
teeth. The rubbing of noses is also
difficult to say. Some date it from however, interposed and saved him
T otal............................................... 3.00
a mark of affection among the
with his eloquence. One man of Both Papers, One Y e a r ............. fa.ow
a
very
early
period
and
assume
that
Kingamill islanders, as it is among
it was done originally in order to genius, Mr. Whistler urged, was
the Maoris of New Zealand.
T H E SE M I-W E E K LY
prevent witches sailing in the egg­ worth any number of silk nsts, see­
ing
that
silk
hats
could
be
replaced
shells.
_______________
W hat Puzxlod H im .
ana men of genius could not. Then-
In the midst of s battle a former
A CHootorfiold R t t o r i
and not till then the irate commit­ Publishes the latest and most com plete
Marquis of Townsend saw a drum­
When Lord Chesterfield waa in tee reconsidered its decision and ac­ telegraphic newa o f the world; gives re­
mer killed by a cannon ball, which
his last illness and his death was cepted the apology which waa ten­ liable market reports, as it is published
scattered his brains in every direc­
at Portland, where the market can be,
only a matter o f a few weeks, his dered.— London Standard.
and ia, corrected to date fo r each issue.
tion. His eyes were at once fixed
physician advised him to go for an
It also has a page o f special matter f o r
on the ghastly object, which seem­
A Curious F i d
easy drive in his carriage, and he
the farm and nome, an entertaining
ed to engross his thoughts. A su­
went ont. As the equipage was pro­
A man who had determined to story page and a page or more o f com ic
perior officer observing him sup­
week, and it goes to the subscriber
ceeding slowly along it was met by kill himself went down to the river each
tw ice every w eek—I04,tim esa year.
posed he was intimidated at the
a lady, who remarked pleasantly to to commit suicide, and when he be­
sight and addressed him in a man­ the great invalid, “ Ah, my lord, I
T h e G r a p h ic
gan to write a final message to his
ner to cheer his spirits. “ Oh,” said
l
am glad to see yon able to drive wife he could think of nothing to Gives all the lot ,1 newa and I happenings
the young marquis with calmness,
out!” “ I am not driving out, mad­ ray except that some batter which and should be in everv home e in this vi-
cinitv
“ I am not frightened. I am puzzled am,” answered Chesterfield. “ I am
he had ordered woold be found at a
I ne tw o papers make a splendid com­
to make out how any man with such simply rehearsing my funeral.”
certain grocery. His message bears bination and you save $1 by sending
a quantity of brains ever came to
ont a certain fact discovered by your subscription to the Graphic.
be here I”
A Serteos Lank.
realists— that in the supreme and
-
»
W o can also give our subscribers a
An eld Englishwoman who was soul terrifying moments of life the good clubbing offer fo r the Daily and
A Q uestion of Mas no.
Sunday, or Sunday Journal, in connec­
“P v * much s year does it require extremely stout wss making rain most ridiculous and trivial things tion
with the Graphic
to fopport a wife?” inquired s efforts to enter the rear door of an often come uppermost in the mind.
omnibus. The driver leaned ever
bachelor of s man of experience.
WMWOWtJMOKWBICBMOBieBBB
A Naval Bngagemoni.
“ Impossible to say,” was ths re- good naturedlv and cried:
“
Try
sideways,
mother,
try
side-
Binka—
I
see
another
naval
en­
Plj
gagement is reported.
“ T*nt surelv you can give me some wa iv » r
Jink
More fighting?*
The old woman looked up breath­
id e s r
BttikUnff Contractors
Binki -1 suppose so. The cap-
“ All depends on circumstances. less! v and replied:
“ Why, bless ye, James, I ain’t got tain is engaged to the rear admirar»
All I can «ay is that it generally
Estimates Furnished
ter!
daughter
no MdewaT«!*
takes all a man’s income!”
rsasnirBfBsieirarBnEimwrsfwsna-snnuiw’o'o r
I
Í
TH ERE is a great deal o f difference in fountain pens. A
cheap and nasty fountain pen wastes your tim e and
temper, besides w asting your money.
P ,O L K ’ S-
It does not pay us to
sell a bad fountain pen, for a pen is a m an’ s closest
companion, and he often ju d ges our other goods by the
pen w e’ ve sold him. Therefore, we sell only the best
fountain p en s—the kind that will make a good im pres­
sion on you and bring you to this store as a regular
customer. Come in today and see some o f our bargains:
M oore’s Im proved N on-L eak& ble Fountain P en, C onk­
lin’s S elf-F illin g P en , W a te rm a n ’s Ideal Fountain Pen
I f you get it o f Hodson, it’s correct I f Hodson keeps
it, it’ s correct We never sleep.
PARLOR PHARMACY
“Quality Store’
N ewberg,
Oregon
THE BEST BREAD BAKED
is a p retty b ig claim t o m ake for
ou r produ ct but a trial w ill con ­
vince the m ost skeptical o f its
truth. H o w could it be oth er­
wise, when w e em p loy the best
m aterials and the best bak ing
skill obtainable.
Order a lo a f
to-d a y and it w ill have a perm a­
nent place on y o u r table here-
atter.
JAS. HUTCHINS & S O N
N e w b e rg , O re g o n
T h e Newberg
Construction C o.
and
For the Best Prices on the Best Windows, Doors, Inter­
ior and Exterior Finish, Mouldings, Building Stone,
Cabinet Work, Store Fixtures and General Mill Work
THERE’S no STRADDLING
the lum ber question here. W hen
w e say w e sell the highest qual­
ity, w e mean ju st that and noth­
in g else. Deal here and you get
a square deal. Y ou don’ t have
to be a lumber expert to buy
here to the best advantage. Ask
those w ho know.
¡The Ice Man
J. L. Van Blaricom
Iron W o rk s
M . H . F IN N E Y
3 0 « N. M al« S t . .
Business Directory
N tw k tr g , O r.
The Graphic Job Printing Department
is the best equipped in Newberg for turning out high-class printing
st lowest possible prices. I f you want estimates on anything in the
printing line from a visiting card to a large book or poster, call up
White 33. There's no job too large or too small for us to execute.
A Great
Clubbing Offer
O regon Journal
1¿/e ¡P rint to ¡P lease at the ¡P rices that ¡P lease
A LOCAL
MAN OR WOMAN
is desired right now to represent The Pictorial Review in
this territory—to call on those whose subscriptions are
about to expire. Big money for the right person—rep­
resentatives in some other districts make over $600.00
a month. Spare time workers are liberally paid for
what they do. Any person taking up this position be­
comes the direct local representative o f the publishers.
Write today for this offer o f
PICTORIAL REVIEW
222 West 39th Street
7-8
New Y ork City
Thos. Herd & Son