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About Newberg graphic. (Newberg, Or.) 1888-1993 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 28, 1912)
me N bW B bK O ' STOP THE SPIRE. Thrilling IneMeSfl In the Lite o f James fr w m a n Clarke. ^ When James Freeman Clarke, the fam o«s Unitarian minister and author, was a young man he visited Salisbury, England. Here the beau tiful cathedral lifts its spire 404 feet into the air. The spire is top ped by a ball, and on the ball stands a cross. From tha ground the ball looks like an orange, bat its diam eter is really greater than a man's height. Workmen were repairing the spire. Mr. Clarke saw them crawl ing round the slim steeple in the len afternoon like bugs esi a stalk. The impulse came te him to climb the spire and stand on the horizontal beam o f the creea. Accordingly at dusk, when the w oik- men had left, the young American slipped in and made has way up the •tain to the little window which oper Bned to the workmen’s staging, T o ; run up the aoaffolding to the ball was easy. Then came the more bulging curve o f the A short platform gave him foothold. He reached up, put his hands on the base o f the cross and palled himself up. T o rain the cross arm was merely “ shinning” np a good sized tree, and toon he stood on the horizontal timber and, reaching np, touched «he top o f the cross. A fter enjoying has moment o f exaltation he slid to th e foot o f the crose and, with hit arms round the post, slipped down over the great abdomen e f the ball. His feet touched nothing. The little {dank from which he had reached up was n ot there 1 Here was a peril and one fo r a cool head and wore eye. O f oouree he oould not look down. The hug- ging hold that h e had to keep on the bottom o f the crosa shortened the reach o f h k body and made it lew than when he had stood on the -''plank and reached np to the crow with his bands. He most drop so that his feet Should meet the plank, fo r be would never be able to pull himself bade if be should let him self down ut arm’s length, and his feet bung over empty air. Now his good head began te work. He looked np at the crow and tried to recall exactly the angle at which he had reached for it, te make his memory tell him just bow the edge o f that square post had ap peared. A few inches to the right san dropping o r te the left would mean into vacancy. Bending his head away bock, he strained bis eye up the crow and figured hie angle o f approach. B e cautiously -wormed himself te the right and made up his .m ind that here directly under his feet must be the plank. Then he dropped. T he world knows that ho lived te tell the tele. S T7i A Curious P au l«. Ask year arithmetic teacher at school to double the number o f his pupils, add 3, multiply this sum by 5, add to it the number o f pu pils absent on that day, multiply the result by 10, add to it the num ber o f his own aunts, and then tell you his answer. From his answer you subtract 150 and the remainder will be the correct number of his pupils present and absent and the number o f his aunts as well. For example: Supposing the number of pupils is 6, doubled equals 12, plus 3 equals 15, multiplied by 5 equals 75, plus 3 equals 78, multiplied by 10 equals 780, 1 plus three equals 783. Subtracting ISO from 783 leaves 633. Therefore yon can safely announce to your teacher that he haa 6 pupils, 3 absent pu pils and 3 aunts. D resden R u m a Paper. Dresden appears to be the only o f munic town where tue prima ipal ownership extends to newspa pers. On his death some years ago the proprietor o f the leading Dres den newspaper bequeathed all hia property to the town where he had built up his fortune, .and the muni cipality haa since run the paper on strictly business tinea. The profits, in accordance with the terms o f Dr. Gant's will, are devoted to beautify ing and extending the open space« o f the town. P rovocation. Judge— Pat, I wouldn’t think yon would hit a tittle man like that. Pat— Suppose he called yon an Irish alob? Judge— But I’ m not an Irishman. Pat— Suppose he called you a Dutch alob? Judge— But I’ m not a Dntohman. Pat— Well, suppose he called you the kind o f a slot) that you are?— Life. Nerve. “ Bi ¡bee has a nerva.” Sy a o r “ 1 threatened to sue him fo r the $100 he owe« me.” “Yeer “ And he aaked me to sue him •for $200 and give him tha other »hundred* BLACK DIAMONDS. TlMir Origin i Riddla That • m m Unalale ta Solve. Oenuine blaok diamond«, although considerably more valuable than the ordinary white diamond, are not uaed for gema, haring an appear ance no more attractive than a bit o f atone or fragment o f ooal, being dark gray, brownish or black in color and opaque, without crystal line form. They are somewhat harder than tht crystal or gem dia mond, being, in fact; about the hardest substance known and are found in irregular pieces ranging in aise from one-half to 500 carats. The origin o f the black diamond is a subject on which science re mains silen t They are found in but one spot on the earth— an area o f not over 225 miles square, in Brazil. Here the? are recovered from the gravel ana washings o f the river beds. No fine specimens of the gem diamond have ever been found in the black diamond fields. Yet— and this is the point over which science has vainly puzzled— both black and white or gem dia monds are simply pure carbon, be ing o f practically identical compe tition. The gem diamond is trans lucent and crystalline in form , while ! the other ts not. The black dia mond is harder, tougher and not so brittle, and there the difference ends. _________ __________ Practically the «»tire output o f I |>lack diamonds is used for tipping j diamond drills, the precious bits o f carbon being set in peecee o f so ft stdel or iron. These diamond point- od drills will cut through any sab- stenoe known and have eaten their way through the hardest known rock down to a depth o f 6,000 feet. Ordinary gees diamonds would be crushed under the enormous prea m re it jg necessary t o put upon the drill« ^-hen the bore has gone to a great depth. No substance is known w k ** could be used in place o f the “ black diamond« fa r drill points used is boring for mineral deposits, and should the supply become exhaust ed there wonlo he no more deep borings, os there were none before the black diamond d waa discovered. The diamond d rill is a decidedly •expensive tool, « s it is usual to ptaoe -eight stone« in each bit or ■drill point, and fa ir abed stones o f three to four cants-each are more satisfaefeery and economical in the Wag run than «mall one«. As the carbon is worth about $85 per c a n t, a single *6x111 » armed with stone« -of medium size would coat in the neighborhood -of $2,500.— Har per*« Weekly. The famous bottle hymn known aa the “ Marseillaise” is generally attributed to Rouget de Lille, a Freach engineer offieer, who, it ia •aid, composed it in 1792 to cheer np the conscripts at -Straaburg. It derived its name from a body o f troops from Mareeillen marching ] into Paris playing the tune, The j piece became instantaneously popu- ! lar, and from that day to this it j has never failed, wherever sung or j played, .to arouse the martial ardor o f the hearers to the highest pitch. I As an inspiration for fighting it is | beyond doubt the most successful 1 musical composition ever known. The author of the immortal piece was pensioned by Louis Philippe in 1830 and died in 1836.— New York ' American. | Pish That Cannot (twins. More than one species o f 'fish is met with that cannot swim, the most singular o f which is the mal- the, a Brasilian fish, whose organs o f locomotion only enable it to crawl or walk or hop after the manner 0f a toad, to which this fish to some extent bean a rrmcmhlsurm It ia provided with a long, upturned snout. Other examples o f uonawim- mingfiahea include the seahorse, an- other moat peculiarly shaped inhab- itant o f the sea, and the starfish, o f which there are many specimens, which walk and crawl on i the shore and rocks, both being unable to swim. ATE THEIR OWN WORDS. ~~ CJKAPMIC BILL NYE’S MsSIs That, I v e o Though They Wars •play, War* Nat Palatable. It Is Not Sufficiently Appreciated Thoeo Osya, I s y i s Writer. “ Eating one’s own words” is not •o fanciful as it sounds. There have been cases where the feat was compelled. Isaac Volmar possibly saw d o hu mor in tbs command iaaned by Ber nard. duke o f Saxony, that he should be forced to eat the manu script o f some poetical satires he bad written against his lordahip, snd the enforcement o f the order probably went much against his stomach, even though the satires were described as “ *picy” by the historian, i Nor was it a matter o f laughter to the jurist Philip Oldenburger when he was cpndemned to eat a pamphlet o f his own composition and bad the lesson emphasised by s good staff Hogging. I. Arvine’s “ Dictionary o f Anec dotes” (Boston, 1860) quotes from some unnamed traveler a detailed account o f how an unfortunate Bus- sian author submitted to nalty at Moscow. He lisbed a quarto volume on Liberties o f the People” and bad taken occasion to inveigh against the venality o f the bureaucrats and even question the conduct o f the autocrat himself. Naturally the au thor was taken into custody. After being tried in a summary way,” continued the traveler, “ his production was deemed to be a libel, and he condemned to eat his own words. The singularity o f such : a sentence induced me to see it pat into execution. A scaffold was erect- j ed in one o f the most public streets i o f the city. The imperial provost, : the magistrates, the physicians and ! surgeons attended. The book was separated from the binding, the margin ca t off and every leaf rolled up like a lottery ticket when taken out o f the wheel. The author then served with them, leaf by leaf, by the provoet, who put them into his month to the no small diversion o f the spectators, and he was oblig ed to swallow this unpalatable food on pain o f the knout— in Russia more feared than death. “ Aa soon aa the medical gentle men were o f opinion that he had received into his stomach as much at a time as was consistent with his r waa sent safety, the the bosineea was back to prison, a resumed the two following days. In three very hearty but unpleasant meals every leaf o f the book was actually swallowed.” There is an impish humor in the conduct o f a certain Austrian gen eral mentioned by Oelrich in his “ Dissertstio de Bibliothecarum et Libroram Fatis” (1756). This offi cer had signed a note fo r 2,000 flor ins, and when it fell dne and waa presented to him bv his creditors he forced those men at the pistol point to eat i t T o close with an instance that be- long» to the spacious times o f Queen Elizabeth. Tom Nash, defending the memory o f his recently deceas ed friend, Robert Greene, from the aspersions o f Gabriel Harvey, thus berates the latter: “ Had he lived, Gabriel, and thon shouldst unarti- ficiallv and odiously libel against bcially him as thou hast done, he would hare made thee an example o f ig nominy to all ages that are to come and driven thee to eat thy own book battered, as I saw him make an ap- pariter once in a tavern eat his cita tion, wax and all, very handsomely served ’twixt two dishes.” — New York Tribune. There are too few o f this genera tion who appreciate the humor o f Bill Nye. The fame o f Mark Twain outrivaled his. The two were entire ly apart in their methods. Nye oon- vulaea you in the twinkling o f an Mark Twain draws your sense of humor with the deliberation o f one preparing yon for the treat. Nye was closer to' the weet than Twain, and he waa later. Twain went weet with the gold aeekera. Nye followed the railroads. Twain followed the newspaper business with uneven success in Virginia City, Nev., and became discouraged ith his own poeeibilities as a writer. It was one of bis early bulletins o f humor that lost Nye his place on one Laramie (Wyo.) paper and in duced his friends to launch the Boomerang. Some o f these same friends helped defeat his ambitions as a lawyer. They thought Nye’ a accession to the prosecuting attor neyship would make a joke of the o f fice. It is as likely that the respon sibilities o f the office and the pros pect of a legal career would nave turned Nye’s talents into serious channels. But, fortunately or un fortunately, Nye’s propensity for humor burgeoned early in his west ern career. When he waa a justice o f the peace in I^aramie hit office was over a livery stable. At the foot o f the stairway Nye nailed this placard: “ Twist the tail o f the gray mule and take the elevator.” I f his humor was spontaneous, his sense o f injustice waa just aa keen. Philosophy there was in his work. Humor is, in fact, largely philosophy. “ Men will fight,” wrote Nye, “ un til it is educated out o f them. Moat wars are arranged by people who stay at home and sell groceries to the widows snd orphans and old maids at 100 per cent advance.” — Collier’ s Weekly. H s W asn't Sir Wemyas Reid wrote aa follows o f one o f his early experiences aa a reporter: “ On the first occasion o f witnessing an execution, as I stood trembling at the fo o t o f the scaf fold on which the victim was about to appear, I noticed an old reporter for whom I entertained a great per sonal respect pacing np and down beside me reading Hie New Testa ment. In the naaaian o i horror and pity that filled my young heart I concluded that my friend was seek ing spiritual com fort in view o f the event in which we were about to take part as spectators and record ers. I said something to him about the horror o f the act we were short ly to witness. He looked up with a placid smile from his reading and ■aid gently, fo r be waa essentially a gentleman, *Yes, very sad, very aad, bat let ns be thankful it isn’ t rain ing.’ And then be calmly return ed to his daily reading o f the word.” A Garble Hint. means fir which the wreathing stem o f »the bit black bryony can recognize and correct its error after it has stretched out and felt fo r su{ in a vain direction. In these are feats of physical intelligence ■tranger to consider than anything which the swiftest, deftest flier doea with its wings. “ But the feat o f flight ia the moat brilliant o f all animal accomplish ments. It« sure, swift, easy tri umph, its grace, the supreme beauty o f its action— these make an ani mal’s flight matchless as a spectacle. All that ia athletic and all that ia •esthetic in movement here com bine. A black headed gull ia floating and gliding, not quite flat on the air. T h e tip o f one wing— «ay the right— inclines skyward, the tip o f the other earthward. Thus be moves forward, np or down or quite paral lel with the earth or water fo r a Office in First N a t’l Bank Building little distance, wings fa ll stretched Phone, Black 31 and rigid. Then comes a very per ceptible change. No flap or stroke o f the wing appears to be made for fresh progress, but the bird turns its boar slightly, and with the body DR. THOS. W . HESTER the full spread, rigid wings. The result is that the right wing now in Physician and Surgeon clines earthward and the left sky ward, and so the bird proceeds for Office in Dixon Building another twenty yards. NEWBERG - - OREGON “ The turn is so alight, so easy, one can hardly imagine the bird haa won through its new impetus. How can those wings in this smooth, Or. Allea C. Bowen D r. H. D. Bower lazy action« have stirred the thin air enough to draw from it sustaining Drs. Bowers & Bower»» force? And how is it that with O S T E O P A T H IC P H Y S IC IA N S \ out a perceptible stroke the bird is Graduitelo! A. a 8. t/.i O.. a KlrksviUe. Mo. u iu u u a t u a v i ike m v aa. u not only upheld, bat driven for work in Cali— » y ea r’s post-graduate w < forni« ju s t completed. W om en’s ward, thougn not traveling with the Diseases a Specialty. Specia wind? Perhaps we must seek an Office, upstairs opposite'postoffice. answer in the marvelous perfection o f wing in a gull. The least move Phones: Office, W hite 75; Rea. ment o f the tip o f that wing— move ment we are not conscious o f when the bird is swung high above may serve the purpose o f fligh t The faintest touch' o f the wing tip may D«ntl«t be a master touch.” Dr. E. P. Phone Gaorga Eliot and «‘ Romola." Office W hite 22 Rea. W hite 8 New berg, Oregon George Eliot's first arrangement with the publisher o f “ Romola” waa A . E. W ILSON for no less a sum than 10,000 guin eas. “ As that is so very large a Optician figure,” he said, “ I must run it in fifteen numbers o f the Corn- Eyes examined and glasses made to fit. hill.” “ N o,” she answered; “ it must finish in twelve numbers or the ar Phone Blue 38 202 First St. tistic effect o f the story will be lost. I quite understand the necessity j for its prolongation from a com- i mercial point of view, so we’ll Bay 7,000 guineas instead o f the 10,- 000.” And 7,000 guineas was ac cordingly paid for the copyright. Three thousand guineas seems a Office over U. S. Natl. Bank large sum to give up for an artistic scruple, but she did it. Phone Black 171 A bachelor had courted a girl fo r a long time without coming to the point. One evening he took her to a concert. The orchestra played No. 6, a se lection that seemed to the bachelor very beautiful. He bent over his companion and whispered: “ How lovely that ia! What is it?— do you know ?” Th * Stinging Tree. She smiled demnrely and replied The stinging tree o f Australia i a low, thrilling voice: somewhat resembles a gigantic net- “ It is the ’ Maiden’s Prayer.'* “ The ‘Maiden’s P ra y e r?'” he re 1 tie. It haa an unpleasant odor, and peated in astonishment. “ W hr” __ the natives and native animals are But ahe handed him her pro- j care,ul to » void »*• When a man is pointing to No. 6 with her , 8tun* b7 tl?e tree— or to put it |f j more prosaically, pneked by the e read and stared, for the real tree'« thorn— the tittle wound gives o f the selection was Men- hun at fir8t no P*“ whatever. But delssohn’s “ Wedding March.” He “ a [ ew .• maddening pain bought Ike ring next d a y .-L a d i« * '1 ,B„iet nPl n c t l™ «¿n ek s and Borne Journal ! ro“ 8 uP°n the ground. For months afterward when water touches the stnng part r-<*at agony ensues. Well Planted. Dogs when stung rush about with The beadle in a rural district in Perthshire had become too feeble piteous whines, biting pieces o f to perform hia duties as minister’s flesh from the place that haa been ________ man and gravedigger and had to stung. J. C. PRICE DENTIST W . W . Hollingsworth Sc Son Funeral Directors Sc Em balm ers Th* ®r*#n jy Calls Answered Day or Night funeral verdict upon the green rose is that it is more canons Lady A ssistants. No extra charge ; than beautiful. T o botanists it ia Office, W hite 25 Res. Black 94 particularly interesting, since it is a Newberg. Ore. proof that all part« o f a plant above the * * * »re modifications o f the •wn* thmg, and m the green rose ^ TTORNEY-AT-LAW ¡ ¡ ¡ * 1 P " 1* ,ma7 he called a leaf, This flower is a variety of the com- CLARENCE BUTT mon-China rose brought to England W ill practice in all the courts o f the in »the year 1835. It also gives a state. Special attention given to pro bate work, the writing o f deeds, mort strong support to the view held by gagee, contracts and the drafting o f all many botanists that all flowers were legal papera. originally green and that the colors „ New berg, Oregon. in flowers are analogous to the au- O m c a —Second Floor Bank o f Newberg Building. Keeping Up Style. turns tints o f leaves. In the green get an assistant. The two did not He Had the Loot Word. agree well, but after a few months Mr. Minks— That girl was decent A lecturer was annoyed by a aaan rose the dowers generally put on a Sandy (the beadie) died, and Tam- enough to black the stoves before in the audience who insisted on reddish tint when they begin to had to perform the last serv ! going, 1 see. W ILLIAM M. RAMSEY rising and asking aueations. “ Sit fade.— Harper’s Weekly. ice for his late partner. The min Mrs. M inks— N o; I blackened down, you ass!” said a second man, ister strolled up to Tammas while i them myself, and it’a lucky I did. Attorney-at-Law His flu ff Called. jumping up. “ Sit down, you too,” le was giving the finishing tonches "S o you advertised for your lggt M c M i n n v i l l e , O r e g o n Mr. Minks— Lucky? cried a third man; “ you are both to the grave and casually remarked, puree, pretending that the person Mrs. Minks.— Yes, indeed. Mrs. Office in the Elsia Wright Building «uses.” “ Have you put Sandy weel down, De Fashion and Mrs. De Style call- Third street “ There seem to be plenty o f asses who fou n d 'it was recognized?” Tammas?” “ 1 hev that, air,” said “ Yea.” m , . . ,, n o j i ed r>ght in the midst o f it, and so • bout tonight,” put in the lecturer Tammas very decidedly. “ Sandy j { ju9t t „ ,jttle more blacki on “ How did the bluff work T * calmly/ “ but for heaven’« sake let may get np, but he 1 1 be among the ^ | RD cl ( a t L a J aaii ah J “ Didn’t work at all. Next day went to the door and G . O. K B E X IS Y us hear one at a time.” hindmost.” • told them I wasn’t in. They said “ Well, you go on’ then.” «aid the this sd. appeared in the same ps gentleman recogn 1 they’d call again. — New York a t H o d s o n B roa. S to ro first man, resuming hia seat.— Bos per: *The recognized Ne Cause Per Peer. ! Weekly. who picked up np the purse on Boyl- ton Transcript Cleaning, Pressing and Praticai Husband— That’s a foolish habit ■ton street requests the loaer to Sure ef One Thing. you women have o f carrying your Tailoring call at his house.’ ” — Boston Tran Careful Auntie. pursee in yonr hands when in the Mark Lemon in one o f his hooka script. ________________ “ You will never eee your Aunt street. tells of a fat tittle boy who pasted Marie again until you get to heav Home Birds. Wife— Why is it? his instructor on the street without en.” a little girl was solemnly told Huahand— Because a thief could bowing. “ When my wife and I were first DR. O. E. STUART bv her mother the other day, ac married we nsed to call each other •asilv snatch them and get away. “ What has become o f your man P h y s i c i a n a Surgeon cording to the London Globe. “ Will •Birdia.*" Wife— Well, if the husbands o f ner*. sir?” cried the teacher, «hock she ask me to wipe mv feet?” was other women don’ t give them any “ Do vou still do it?” ed and frowning. “ It seem« to me Otroeic direatee e ipeciahy. Calk answered her only response. It throws a flood “ No. I cull her a parrot and a more to put in their purees than that yon are better fed than tanght.” promptly day or ugh*. uf light on Aunt Maria's character magpie, utid she usually refers to vou give me to put in mine the thief “ Ye*, sir." replied the hoy aolema- Office 213 Main St. oppowte Commercial Hotel ami history. would starve to death. ly. “ I feed* myself, *ir.” me aa a jav.” _ P U i: Oftce, Black 21; Ret.. Rad 96
