MHH h MBM
»rii
,\Vti
m e
TH E UNPRODUCTIVE MAN.
H« W ho H aa N althar Im agination Nor
Idoaa In Busin»»».
FOOD OF THE ANCIENTS.
In O rN w and Ron»» C roat Cooks W ore
P riv ileg 'd Person».
BARRIE’S EARLY CAREER.
T he O pposition He E ncountered
Hie Friend th e Tailor.
r S L W B t R U U R * F r i IC
I
MEN AND THEIR NAMES.
A System T h at W aa Ueed For C orrectly
Connecting Them.
M •»
S tands the tests
I t it a commonplace that the real
the confidences that J. M.
That the ancients knew little ^A m ong tl
For
15
cents
at
a
stationery
store
T
akes an average time to set
ly valuable man in businest or any about the actual component parts Barrie has made concerning the
I
bought
a
little
alphabetically
in-
tphabetically
i
A
lways does more than promised
thing else it the man who hat ideaa of the substances that they ate
early years of his career there is dexed book that fitted comfortably
or imagination. Mr. Lorin F. De is a fact that is clearly indi none more intimate or more enlight into my vest pocket,
N ever scums off the top when properly laid
In its pages I
land, writing in the Atlantic Month cated by the qualities with which ening than this bit, which addi the
D OES makes a hard surface
ly, tell« of a young man who went these foods were endowed. Thus pathos of a story strangely in con wrote the names of all persons I
A
lways full weight in each sack
could recall having met. Beside
to him for advice at to tome way many grave writers held that beans trast with his own :
each name was placed some distin
R uns even in every sack
of getting an increase of salary. He exerte ea a
The malignancy of publishers guishing word or phase of identifi
effect
D OES NOT cost more than inferior cement
was even ' * “
could not turn me back. From the cation—thus:
^
“
E
Z
+
i
them.’
K
not better give up his
hit situation
situation and
and pocrates trembled for his patients day on which I first taste^ blood
Jones, Silas H.* black haired coal
tru st to lucjc to find something bet when beans were in blossom, and in the garret my mind was made up. dealer; Lamson, John, teller First
ter. “I urged him at once against some authorities even asserted that There could be ho hum-dreadful- National bank; Kendricks, Hiram,
such a course,” says the writer, hens that were allowed to eat this drum profession for me. Literature ticket agent at depot.
Specify the Standard when you let your cement contract
“ and told him to look for something vegetable would cease to lay eggs.
was my game. I t was not highly
I not only indexed the names, but
PhoDe W hite 26
•
better while he was holding his
Lentils, on the other hand, were thought of by those who wished me also adopted a cross reference sys
present situation. I said to him :
regarded as the ideal food for chil well. I remember being asked by tem—for example:
“ ‘Mills, the important thing for dren, “enlightening their minds, two maiden ladies about the time
Coal dealer, black hair, Silas H.
you in this matter it to ascertain opening their hearts and making I left the university what I was to Jones; teller First National bank,
whether you are paid all that you them of a cheerful disposition.” To be, and when I replied brazenly, John Lamson;. ticket agent, Hiram
are worth and, that settled, whether Hippocrates a dish of boiled cab “ An author,” they flung up their Kendricks.
you can make yourself worth any bage, with salt, was a sure cure for hands, and one exclaimed reproach
By thus associating the face, name
more. But first of all let us tee if violent attacks of colic, while Era- fully, “And you an M. A.!” My and distinguishing words I hoped
you can make yourself worth any sistratus regarded the cabbage as a toother’s views at first were not dis that I could, by a hurried and per
more, whether you are paid it or sovereign remedy in cases of pa similar. For long she took mine haps secret reference to my bqolc,
not. If you can, you had better ralysis.
jestingly as something I would grow secure any desired name.
stick and look for your raise at the ’ The onion and the leek were hot out of, and afterward they hurt her * Every night when I came home
first fair opportunity.' He agreed, only considered a cure for diseases, so that I tried to give them up. To from my daily parade of the streets
and I went ahead with my plan.
in search of a job I went over the
but Apicius asserted that he who be a minister—that she thought
“First I told him for thirty days wished to preserve his health should among the fairest prospects, but she names in the book. In two or three
to put his mind on one thing—to eat young onions, with honey, every was a very ambitious woman, and weeks, as I added names that had'
devise some method whereby his morning before breakfast. Alexan sometimes she would add, half slipped from me and those newly
house could sell at least 9100 worth der the Great fed them to his troops scared a t her appetite, that thero acquired, I found no less than 200
W o have in slock a com plete tine of Furniture^
more of goods. It must be a prac because he believed th a t they had were ministers who had become pro on the list. I now adopted the
ticable plan and should be present the power to incite martial ardor. fessors, “but it was not canny to practice of calling every one by
Paint» W all Paper»
Moulding» Glass,
ed at any interested employee would Garlic was also given to those who think of such things.”
name, even if I merely passed the
Heaters
and
Ranges.
W
e
are
alw
ays pleased to
present such a matter to hit su were about to fignt, th at their cour
I had only one person on my side, time of day or waved my hand in
perior.
show our goods.
age might be excited, and Galen an old tailor, one of the fullest men greeting. Before this, even with
“Thirty days passed, and Mills held that the man “that eats bacon I have known and quite the best my best friends, it had always been,
came in again. With all his think for two or three days before he is talker. He was a bachelor (he told “Hello!” or “Say!”
ing he had found no method by to box or wrestle shall be much me all that is to be known about
A new world began to dawn when
which the business.of the firm could stronger than if he should eat the woman), a lean man, pallid of face, I put myself to the task, I found
be extended even $100 a year.
his legB drawn up when he walked that by concentrating my mind on
beet roast beef or bag pudding.”
“I then put him to work on his
In Greece and Borne the master as if he was ever carrying some a man’s name when I met him and
second month’s labor—to discover of the culinary art was always a thing in his lap. His walks were associating it with his face and busi
any method by which the firm privileged person. He alone was of the shortest, from the teapot on ness there was no trouble whatever.
could transact its present volume of entitled to carry a knife at his gir the hob to the board on which he It gave me great joy to find one
business with greater economy, so dle. He was immortalized by the stitched, from the board to the hob, night th at I could remember every
th at by improved methods there noted writers of the age as the*“pre and so to bed. He might have gone
rson I had met during the day.
should be effected a saving of at server of mankind,” and when by out had the idèa struck him, bjit in
also found that I had complete
least $50 a year.
chance one of his inventions at the years 1 knew him, the last of his control of all the names in my book.
“ At the end of the time he came tracted more than usual commenda brave life, I think he was only in Soon that little book became super
back to me with his report. He tion fortunes were showered upon the open twice, when he “flitted”— fluous. I could easily impress a new
changed his room for another hard name and face upon my memory.
had been able to discover no new him.
method whereby the firm could
Lavish as were the fees that were by. I did not see him make these Little tricks were resorted to, such
economize. He had, however, dis paid to cooks in those days, the big journeys, but I seem to see him as associating Mr. Long’s height
covered one thing—namely, that he gest tip recorded in history was that now, and he is somewhat dizzy in with his name, and a common name
would not need to go ahead for of Antony, who bestowed an entire the odd atmosphere. In one hand such as Smith, Clark or Brown was
another thirty days with our experi city upon the cook who prepared a he carries a box iron. He raisés the instantly made mine by classing it
ment, for he had about made up his repast that pleased the palate of other, wondering what this is on his with the constantly increasing list
head. I t is a hat. A faint smell of of Smiths, Clarks or Browns, thus
mind that he would continue where Cleopatra.—Exchange.
singed cloth goes by with him. This remembering a great many people
he was.
H anging of a Peer.
man had heard of my set of photo in groups of dozens or more. I
“ ‘My boy,’ I said to him, ‘just
W eight 10 lbs^ runs on wheels. No dust.
May
5
is celebrated as the- anni graphs of the poets and asked for a would visualize all these groups.
realize for a moment where you
stand. You are not able, though versary of the last occasion on single sight of them, which led to Whenever the name of Brown was
Takes dirt out of your carpet
you have worked three years in this which an English peer was executed our first meeting. I remember how uttered the faces of all the men I
house, to increase the volume of the for murder. The peer was Lau he spread them out on his board knew answering to that name filed
business $100 a year, nor can you rence Shirley, fourth ear! of Fer and after looking long at them before me. By associating the name
point out a way to save that amount. rers, who shot his steward and was turned his gaze on me and said sql with the face the name popped
into my head when I saw the face
My warning is, lie low! A ttract as tried for the offense by his peers in emnly:
W het can I do to be forever known
again.—Bookkeeper.
little attention to yourself as you Westminster hall, April 16, 1760,
oagMsnxwurwrwjsaaBxi
And m ake th e a«» to come my own?
can. Don’t let the proprietors or and universally condemned, in spite
An A ntidot» F o r Suicide.
These lines of Cowley were new
the manager remember that you of the plea of occasional insanity.
to
me,
but
the
sentiment
was
not
They
tell of an Atchison girl who
On
the
eventful
morning
he
set
have been three years in their em
forth on his journey from the Tower new, and I marveled how the old thought her heart was broken. She ♦ ♦ • ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ • ♦ ♦ • • ♦ ♦ • ♦ e ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
ploy if you can help it.
“ ‘You are an absolutely unpro to Tyburn dressed in his best suit | tailor could see through me so well was so convinced of it that she be
ductive man. I don’t mean that of light clothes, embroidered in s il-! So it was strange to me to discover gan reading up on deadly poisons
you are a bit inferior to thousands ver and driven in his own landau, presently that he had not been and cried softly to herself over the
of other young men who are in the drawn by Bix horses. I t is said that thinking of me at all, but of his thoughts of an early death. At this
stores and wholesale houses of this he was the first to suffer by the new own young days, when that couplet juncture a friend sent her a box of
city, but you, like them, are simply drop, just then introduced in place sang in his head and he, too, hud chocolates. She ate one; life looked
304- F I R S T S T . , N E W B E R G , O R .
sitting upon the head of one of the of the barbarous cart ladder and thirsted to set off for Grub street, a little brighter. She ate another;
bright men in the counting room. three cornered gibbet and as a con but was afraid, and while he hesi why not put off that death till next
He has to solve all these problems. cession to his rank he was hanged tated old age came, and then death, week? She ate a third and forgot
You and fifty others in your estab with a silken cord.—London Chron and found him grasping a box iron. she ever had a trouble. All of which
is proof of the claim of an Atchison
— Argonaut.
lishment are just sitting on the top icle.
physician that when people are mor
of his head, like so many dead
A ustralian G rasshoppers.
bid or unhappy the most effective
H
ad
All
th
e
9ym
ptom
s.
weights. If the business prospers
Here is something funny. In
cure
is something to eat. No one,
The
learned
hobo
was
dispensing
you expect a raise of salary when Western Australia, where domestic
it is his hcadwork that has gained servants are almost unprocurable knowledge for the benefit of his less he says, can long for death while en
gaged in chewing something palata
every inch of progress. He has to and housewives do nearly all their enlightened companion.
ble.
The man who talks suicide
“Have you ever been bitten by a
carry you all.’
own work, husbands are known as dog?” he asked.
should
be given a beefsteak instead
“The young man went off, sadder grasshoppers. The connection is
of
advice.—Atchison
Globe.
“Many’s
de
time,”
replied
the
un
and wiser than he came. For five not obvious, but may be explained
year* thereafter, in which.I was able after the manner of other house enlightened one.
B u tter C enturies Old.
“ Are you not afraid of hydropho
to follow his course, he held the holds much nearer than those at
Ghee
is
used in India as is butter
bia?”
same place at the same salary.”
the antipodes. Wives who are their
in
America
and European countries
“Nix on de hydro.”
own servants are compelled to re
and,
in
fact,
is butter so prepared
“ ’TÍ8 a curious disease. When
H eroes and Cowards.
cuperate at the seaside, and conse a person contracts hydrophobia the that it never grows stale, instances
Courage is an uncertain quantity; quently Western Australia lords of
being known of its preservation for
it varies with circumstances. A man creation in their absence prepare very thought of water makes him as long as 200 years.
who fancies that he is afraid of their own meals and do other do sick.” •
In preparing ghee, butter is boil
“Is dat on de level ? Youse ain’t
nothing ventures on the slippery mestic duties. Locally husbands
ed
until all the watery particles and
pavement in winter and suddenly thus employed have received the stringin’ me?”
curds have been thrown off by re
Q U A L IT Y S T O R E
“I t is a scientific fact.”
discovers that he is veiy much name grasshoppers as the masculine
peated skimmings. When the liquor
“Den I bet I ’ve had it all me life
afraid of falling and hurting him for the more familiar word grass
an’
never knowed wot was de matter is clear oil it is poured into a vessel
self.
OUR MOTTO:
widow, long since applied to the de
to cool. When cooled it is in gran
wid me!”—New York Times.
I t is on record that a man who serted wife.—Boston Herald.
ulated form and will keep for years
PURITY, PROMPTNESS, ACCURACY
was as bold as could be in the morn
without becoming rancid or of bad
A Polite Interp reter.
ing could never be relied upon for
W omen In Korea.
odor. Ghee has been found in de
Tit« Purest and Best Drugs Only Used in Our
courage after dinner.
When Qic Princess Charlotte of serted castles, where it must have
In Korea when a girl is married
Prescription Department
Some French soldiers during the she appears at the wedding cere Mecklenburg-Strelitz arrived in Lon been left more than two centuries
war of 1870 gallantly assaulted an mony with her face painted a ghast don to marry George III. the peo ago.—Popular Mechanics.
We may not be the nearest druggist to you but we’ll try to
almost impregnable position, al ly white, her lips dyed scarlet and ple, on seeing her appearance, cried,
come the nearest to please you.
though death seemed certain. Three her eyelids pasted together so as to ‘T ug, pug, Dug!”
Teo T ru el Too T ruel
ears later two of those gallant fel- deprive her entirely of sight. Ko
“ Vat is dat dey do say—poog?”
The baby was being questioned
School Supplies and Fine Stationery
ows were in a theater when an rean women are compelled to work said the princess to the Duchess of playfully as to his senses.
alarm of fire was given, and they very hard; but, as a rule, they are Ancaster, who was sent to accom
“What are these for?” touching
displayed extreme cowardice, push well treated by their husbands. They pany her. “Vat means poog?”
his eyes.
ing over women and children in have pretty names, meaning plum,
“Oh, that means ‘God bless your
“To see with,” he answered.
their frantic efforts to escape.— blossom, treasure, etc., but after majesty,’ ” promptly replied the
“And this?” touching his nose.
Pearson’s Weekly.
marriage are known only as So-and- duchess without the slightest hesita
‘T o ’mell wiv.”
We Never Sleep
Registered Pharmacist
so's wife until they have a son, tion.
“And your mouth?”
No Need to H urry.
after which they are known as the
“Oh, to eat.”
L im itations of Money.
The scorching cyclist was on the mother of that son.
“What are your ears for?” ■
Money can’t buy everything.
road to Stratford-on-Avon.
He
This was a puzzler, but after a
Refining th e T orture.
There are no admission tickets to a moment he said with firm convic « M » M » M M S M M » « M S » » S # S S S S M M t e S S M S S H t S M i » » g
was bent over the handle bars, and
A convict in a German prison had sunset;you wouldn’t trade the look tion, ‘T o wash.”—Delineator.
the beads which bespeak the strenu
ous toiler were trickling off his face. been extremely refractory. One in your boy’s eyes when he greets
F o p ’» A n w i r .
“Hi, sonny,” he called to a pass morning the warden said to the you at night for a million dollars of
anybody’s
money,
and
if
you
keep
keeper:
“I
say,
Huber,
the
scoun
Tommy—Pop,
a man is a bachelor
ing youth, “am I right for Shake
a
well
furnished
mind
you
can
go
drel
is
acting
worse
than
ever.
Put
until
he
gets
married,
isn’t he?
speare’« house?”
into it any time you like as you
Tommy’s Pop—Yes, my son.
“Yes, you're right, mister,” was him on bread and water.”
For the Best Prices on the Best Windows, Doors, Inters
“But he is already doing two fast would into a child’s playground and | Tommy—And what does he call
the dreamy reply of the leisurely
amuse
yourself
watching
your
ior and Exterior Finish, Mouldings, Building Stone,
himself afterward?
youth, “but you needn’t hurry. days.”
thoughts
play
leapfrog
with
one
an
“Then
give
him
a
cookbook
to
Tommy’s Pop—I’d hate to tell
CabinetW ork, Store Fixtures and General Mill Work
Shakespeare’s
dead.” — London
other.—Success.
read.”—Argonaut.
you, my son.—Philadelphia Record.
Queen.
...... ...............................................................................................................
C E M E N T
The Chas. K. Spaulding Log. Co.
C. B. CUMMINGS
THE HOUSE FURNISHER
C. B. Cummings, Newberg, Or.
S w e e p in g m a d e e a s y
r
The Electric
Carpet Sweeper
YAMHILL ELECTRIC CO.
M. J. Nash Co,
Look for something special
on sale every day. We
carry a complete line of
Ladies* Furnishings.
j P arlor P h a r m a c y
J
E. W .
H O D SO N
T he Newberg Manufacturing and
Construction Co.
i
I