I HH iSeWBËKO tiM tknlC
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LIBRARY SLEEPERS.
Th«y
TWO GIFTS FROM A KINO.
A CRANK ON TEA.
FAMOUS WAR HORSE.
Have to Taka Thalr “Snoo*«" A Story of Fr«d«riek William I. and Captain May's Bla«k Yom Bald to Haw«
With On« Ky« Op«n.
L««atolli, the Vialiniat.
Mad« Pr«dlgi«us L«ap«.
W hen U a aleeper not asleep T
A nsw er: W hen he’s an expert in
“ snoozing” in the reading room of
the public library. Then he can
sleep and stay awake, at least to
all practical intents and purposes.
H e can doze off in blissful slumber
and never nod a nod. I f he is a
regular expert be can look so wide
awake that he will fool the fig*
ilant policeman whose duty it is to
wake nun up, and that is what be,
the “ snoozer,” tries to do.
“ Y ou got to wstcb ’em ,” ssid the
officer after he had caught one of
the spoolers in the act.
‘T h ey
com e in here, take a magazine from
the stands, get off in some corner,
spread the paper open on their
knees, lay their hands on it and
away they snooze.
Unless you’ re
on to ’ em they’ ll fool ?ou every
tim e. A h , there’s another one!”
H e pointed out a distinguished
looking individual who sat upright
in a chair near the Randolph street
walL
Said individual looked the
part o f a oollege prof essor minus a
college. H is brow was high and
shiny, and his head was inclined
forward ju st enough to suggest a
it mind lost in the mazes o f
it
A nd he wore
U s long euitfiW
T he glasses were blue, dark blue.
They hid the eves behind them
from the gaze o f a critical world
and the vigilant policem an, and
th ey were turned point blank on
th e copy o f the Fortnightly Review
th at lay in the m ooter's lap. N o
on e but a vigilant policeman used
to catching snoozers would have
known the difference. But when
th e officer placed his hand on the
spectacled one’s shoulder there was
a jerk that told the story.
“ Sound asleep,” said the officer.
“ Y ou can’t sleep here.”
T was not asleep, sir,” said the
distinguished individual. T
was
merely pondering, sir, merely pon
dering. However, I will stay awake
in the future.”
“ Y ou ’d better,” warned the offi
cer. “ I f you don’t how can you
read. That’s what you come up
here for, o f course.”
“ Sarcasm,” retorted the sleeping
student, “ is the weapon o f the cul
tured man. In the hands o f the
de
hoi T polloi it degenerates
into- mere
ckguardism.’
“ Q’ wan," said the officer. “ Don’t
y o n call me names. What do you
think o f that guy putting on glasses
t o hide his eyes ?”
The rules read that he who reads
in the public library must stay
awake. Nobody is permitted to
sleep. But the hobo and the un
employed man with small taste for
magazine literature and great need
o f sleep have found this rule most
irksome. The reading room is a
good lounging place, but it’s a bard
thing to ask o f any man that he
read modern magazines for two or
three hours at a stretch; hence the
snoozing system. The lounger,
with the aid o f a magazine used as
a prop, pits his skill against the
vigilance o f the officer in a game to
see whether he shall snatch half an
hour’s blissful slumber. Sometimes
he wins. Sometimes he has but
closed his eyes when a rude hand
on his shoulder brings him back to
life. The use o f blue glasses ought
to be s great aid to the snoozer.—
Chicago Tribune.
For tho Final«.
The author o f a volume o f rem
iniscences, “ Some Eminent Victo
rians,” recalls that the last time he
saw the romantic actor, Charles
Fechter, was in “ Monte Cristo,” a
drama with some strong scenes,
but, on the whole, poorly construct
ed and unduly prolonged.
“ I remember,” he adds, “ as I sat
in the pit that when midnight came
and the end seemed still afar off a
cheery voice from the gallery called
o u t:
‘ “ Good night, Mr. Fechter 1 I
shall be here again on Monday.* ”
Wanted a Reduction.
The village grouch was slowly
unwinding his pocketbook prepara
tory to settling a long overdue bill
fo r medical attendance.
“ Can’ t you make it a little less,
d oc?” he whined. “ Five dollars
seems a heap for settin’ a broken
leg.”
“ But you must remember that it
was a compound fracture,” said the
patient doctor firmly.
“ That’s just why I asked you to
shave it a bit,” said the grouch. “ I
often heard that you doctors re
duced fractures!”
Two English Ads.
It is said that in tho window of
a country undertaker’s shop is dis
played a full sized coffin whereon
u placed this notice: “ Wanted— An
adult assistant. Inquire within.”
The case finds a parallel in that
o f the picture shop the window of
which contained a picture of Cupid
to which the legend was attached:
“ W anted— A respectable boy.**—
London Globe.
“ Only less celebrated than Old
Rough and Ready’s favorite white
charger,” writes General James
Grant W ilson in the Bulletin o f the
Society
ciety for the
thi Prevention o f Cruel-
ty to Anim als, “ was Captain Charles
Augnstus May’s Black Toi
nificent coal black gelding. Gape
Msv was the beau sabreur o f Ti
in
lo /s army
M
U M exico, enjoy
oying
same reputation for dash that Cus
ter won in th e . Arm y o f the P oto
mac nearly two decades later.
“ A t the bead o f his squadron o f
the Second United States dragoons
Captain May led a gallant charge
against a Mexican battery in the
battle o f Resaca de la Palm a, May
9,' 1846, and, leaping Tom over one
o f the guns, captured General La
Vega and the entire battery o f iix
pieces.
“ M ay possessed an unsurpassed
m ilitary record for leaping with
Tom and, it ia possible, one that
haa never been equaled in the ban t
ing field, or even on the race course.
My friend, the late H on. F ra n d f 0 .
Lawley, perhaps M m highest British
authority on the subject, gives thir
ty-four feet as the greatest distance
ever covered by an English b o n a ia
a steeplechase or elsewhere.
“ Black Tom lumped thirty-five
feet on a wager during the M<xican
war, End three years later M ay
made another bet that, with a fly
ing start e f fifty yards, he could leap
Tom across a canal thirty-six feat
in width. They came thundering
along at a terrific speed, the jet
black steed nearly seventeen bsnds
high and May over six feet, sitting
like a centaur. Tom gave a m ighty
Fredeierick William therefore de jum p, but fell short, and of course
cided to have a laugh at him. A man and horse bad a very sudden
second concert was arranged,- after and cold bath, fo r the attem pt was
which the Prussian king himself made in midwinter.
The severity o f the Prussian king,
Frederick W illiam I ., especially to
ward the son who became Frederick
the Great, has given him a perhaps
undeserved reputation fo r stern
ness. Anecdotes that reveal gen
tler qualities are related in “ The
House o f H ohenzollern.” One an
ecdote in particular shows that
Frederick W illiam could even take
a rebuke good humoredly.
In Berlin assemblies and dinner
parties were often given, and the
king was a frequent guest at the
houses of the foreign envoys and at
the houses o f his own subjects. H e
was always m ost amiable on these
occasions and. with his jokes and
gaiety, quite the life o f the evening.
When the king o f Poland, Augus
tus the Strong, visited Berlin he
was accompanied by the fam ous vio
linist, Locatelli. Although Freder
ick W illiam hated virtuosi, hs was
obliged to listen to this artist, who
appeared in a coat o f blue velvet
embroidered w ith silver.
“ The fellow looks like a m inister
o f war at lea st!” the king ejaculat
ed. B u t, wishing to be civil, he sent
him SO thalers by a servant.
T he artist sent the king his
homage and thanks, but handed the
money as a gratuity to the servant
who had brought i t
On hearing o f this Frederick W il
liam was indignant and complained
to Augustus o f the impudence o f
his fiddler.
Augustus, however,
pointed out that an artist o f the
eminence o f Locatelli was accus
tomed to receiving presents o f gold
watches, snuff braes and diamond
nngs.
gave the artist a snuff box filled
with ducats and added, “ Y ou are so
magnificently lavish that . I should
prefer on this occasion to earn the
gratuity myself.”
But the resourceful artist was not
to be overmatched. He replied that
such a present from such a king
was too weighty for him to part
with.
_____________ _
“ Beets and 8addl«s.”
The well known call o f “ boots
and saddles” is really a corruption
o f the old French signal boute-selie
— “ put on your saddles” — from bou-
ter, to put or place, and selle, sad
dle. The medieval saddles were of
such cumbrous and heavy make that
they were taken off the horses when
ever possible. In Mathews’ “ Pow
erful Favorite” o f 1628 occurs the
hrase “ the trumpets sounded
ute-selle.”
In 1709 Steele wrote in the Tat-
ler, “ The sound was changed to
‘ boots and saddle,’ ” but jt seems
probable that the phrase Tan in its
present form before that date, pos
sibly coming into use during the
civil war among the Roundheads, to
whom the old French boute-selie
would seem pandering to the Cava
lier and French tendencies o f the
court.— London Times.
A Gypsy Proph«cy.
An English magazine relates s
curious instance o f gypsy prophecy.
The third Earl o f Malmesbury, as
Lord Fitzharris, waa riding to a yeo
manry review near • Christchurch
when his orderly, some distance in
front, ordered a gypsy woman to
open a gate. The gypsy woman
quietly waited till Lord Fitzharris
and his staff rode up, when she ad
dressed them, saying, “ Oh, you
think you are a lot o f fine fellows
now, but I can tell you that one day
your bones will whiten in that
field.” Lord Fitzharris laughed and
asked her whether she thought they
were going to have a battle, adding
it was not very likely in that esse
they would choose such s spot.
More than forty years later the
field was turned into s cemetery.
r -
—....
H trC m
1« Hop«l««s.
A little girl became so accus
tomed to exaggeration and mis
statem ent that nobody could believe
her, and her parents were greatly
annoyed by the unfortunate reputa
tion that she was acquiring.
One afternoon her mother said to
her: “ Now , listen, L illian, and heed
my words. W hat has happened to
one sinner may easily happen to an
other. You know what happened to
Ananias and Sapphira, don’ t you ?”
“ Y e s’m, I do. They fell dead on
the street corner, and I saw ’em
carried into a drug store.”
C s u m of HI« Oiatr«««.
A Scot and his friend were spend
ing a few days sightseeing in Lon
don. W hile crossing one of the
busy thoroughfares near Trafalgar
square the friend had the m isfor
tune to be run over. Sandy was
very excited, so much, indeed, that
one of the bystanders asked him if
the victim was a near relative.
“ N s. n s.” replied Sandy in de
spairing tones, “ bat he has on a
pair o ' m s breaks!”
°mÆ
Z
“ For a Charlie O’ Malley leap over
a cart loaded with a cord o f wood
standing in front o f the city hall
the colonel was fined in a Baltimore
coart. On another occasion the
dashing cavalryman rode Tom up
the steps o f the leading hotel o f
that city, cavorted aronnd and
through several o f the principal
apartments and then coolly rode
out again, as if it was an ordinary,
' everyday occurrence.
“ Thoroughbred Tom was a spir
ited and rather difficult horse for
1 any one but his master to ride or
! control. A Maryland friend, wish
ing to make a fine appearance be
f o r e a Baltimore belle, borrowed
, May’ s steed, but, bearing too hard
on the bit when near the lady’ s res
idence in Cathedra] street, Tom be
gan backing, finally tossing the un
fortunate lover into the street and
galloping back to his stable,
t “ Tom passed many tranquil years
on a Maryland farm, where he was
buried with military honors. Be
fore this was done his four hoofs
were cut off, with a view to making
drinking cups o f them, as memo
rials o f one o f the two most famous
American horses o f the Mexican
war. In some way the project was
postponed. The colonel, as he tamo
to be called in later days, having
been promoted for gallantry, passed
away in 1864 without it being car
ried out.”
Cytlil W. Field’s Encounter With aa
Expert In th« Buyin«««.
Cyrus W . Field wss never given
to any jf the expensive hobbies of
other rich men. He did not dote on
horses or yachts or pictures. Bat
Mr. Field did like tea. H e used to
say there wss only one man o f his
acquaintance who knew bow to
brew it, and that man was “ Old
Field.” The father of the subma
rine cable used to travel s great
deal by rail, but he never went any
where without his favorite brand of
tea and his personal utensils for
brewing it.
M r. R eid seldom traveled in bis
private car, and none o f his retinae
of servants ever made tea for him.
From his berth in the Pullman he
rote early, as at hom e, and it was
not an uncommon sight to see the
gray old philanthropist half dressed
and stirring about in a buffet car at
daylight, seeking hot water with
which to brew bis choice young H y-
»on, a canister of which wss invari
ably a part of his baggage.
One day when M r. Fiel
Field was go
" rou
ing through
Front street, in New
Y o jk city, he was attracted by a tea
tester w ?/ o waa sipping the contents
e f a number o f sm all cups. Mr.
Field watched the man carefully
and observed his m ethod o f using
boiling water. Finally he entered
the place and said to the expert,
“ H ow long have you been in this
business?”
“T hirty-one years,” ssid th e.te a
taster, who was enjoying an annual
income o f about $20,000.
“ Well, yon had better give it up,'
remarked Mr. Field frankly. “ Yon
don’t know how to make tea and
rou are too old to learn. Let me
>rew some o f that staff for yon.”
The aged philanthropist poured
water on some leaves which he took
from s paper in his pocket, let it
draw fo r a few seconds and invited
the tea taster to test it. But the ex
pert spat the stuff out.- “ Worst
ever !” was his comment. “ N ot even
properly brewed.” Then Mr. Field,
who was a sensitive man, turned on
his heel and walked away, matter
ing, “ I f you are an expert, the good
.Lord help some o f our tea drink-
'
99
ers.
But when the millionaire was out
of sight the tea taster roared with
laughter and^gaid to one o f the
clerks: “ That was old Field. He’s
a crank on tea. Pays $9 s pound
for it, and I told him it was like
dishwater.”
T h e . Was No P«ae«.
At s dinner party at the White
House one evening the conversation
turned on the giving o f presents
and the art o f making s g ift appro
priate.
“ That reminds me,” said the
president, “ o f the marvelous astute
ness o f a young man I knew. This
fellow was very much in love with
s girl who worked in a candy store
eight hours every day. They quar
reled, and, in the hope o f making
peace, he decided to send her s
present.
T sent it to her,’ he informed
me one morning, with an air o f
pride.
“ ‘ What was it?* 1 inquired.
“ *Two pounds of candy,’ he said
brightly.” — Popular Magazine.
T « Find th« North.
An Inquiaitiv« Jury.
O f course you know that iron will
^Tt is toid o f one jury that after
sink in water, because it is so much
heavier, but if it is very small and having been in the jury room for
highly polished, aa in the for n of half an hour following the close of
a new needle, you can lay it gently the trial the jury returned to the
on the surface of a basin o f water courtroom to ask the judge a ques
and it will float. If you will rub the tion. When he announced his read
¡needle with a toy magnet before iness to give the jury any needed in
placing it on the water the needle formation bearing on the case the
¡will not only float, but will gradual foreman said:
“ What we want to know, your
ly work its wav round until it lies
due north and south. The north to honor, is if you think that the
'soner is guilty or not guilty.” —
which it points is the magnetic
troit Free Press.
north, o f course, and not the north
pole.
_______________
K
Knowledge.
Th« D«««rt o f Sahara.
The greater part o f the desert of
Sahara is from 6,000 to 8,000 feet
above the level o f the ocean. The
desert is not rainless, bat showers
cover it with grass for s few weeks
in the year, large flocks and herds
being mainly upon its borders, and
the oases are depressions in which
water can be collected and stored.
It wss one time believed that the
whole o f the desert Wss below the
•ea level instead o f only s compara
tively small part o f it.
The pleasure and delight of
knowledge far surpaaseth all other
in nature. We see in all other
pleasures there is satiety, and after
they be used their verdure depart
e d , which showetb well that they
be but deceits o f pleasure and not
pleasures, and that it was the nov
elty which pleased, not the quality.
But o f knowledge there is no
satiety, bat satisfaction and appe
tite are perpetually interchange
able.— Bacon.
! Fruit Growers!
W hy not place your order for boxes before you
are in need o f them and have diem made up so
you will not be delayed for want o f boxes.
Berries and Cherries will soon be ready
for the market.
Phones:
Office, White 26; Mill, White 84
The Ghas. K. Spaulding Log. Co.
C. B. CUMMINGS
THE HOUSE FURNISHER
W e have in stock a complete Bue o f Furniture,
Paint, W all Paper,
Moulding,
always
Heaters and Ranges. W e
•how our good«.
C. B. Cummings, Newberg, Or.
S w e e p in g m a d e e a s y
The Electric
Carpet Sweeper
W eight 10 lba, runs on wheels.
N o dust.
Takes dirt out o f your carpet
YAMHILL ELECTRIC CO.
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M. J. Nash Co.
3 0 4 F IR S T S T ., N E W B E R G , OR.
Look for something special
on sale every day. We
carry a complete line of
Ladies' Furnishings.
P a r lo r P h a r m a c y
Q U A L IT Y
STORE
OITR MOTTO:
PURITY, PROMPTNESS, ACCU RAC Y
The Purest and Best Drugs Only Used in Our
Prescription Department
We may not be the nearest druggist to you but we’ll try to
come the nearest to please you.
School Supplies and Fine Stationery
Th« Main Thing.
When the man who had been hit
“ There’s Perkins— you know Per- by the automobile at last opened his
fins— entered into an agreement eyes a sigh of relief went up from
with his wife soon after their mar the crowd.
“ It’s a wonder you weren’t
riage twenty yean ago that when
ever either loa^-temper or stormed killed!” said one o f the bystanders.
“ Y ou ’re luckier than most o f the
the other wss to keep silence.”
fellows who get hit.”
“ And the scheme worked?”
eplied the vic
“ I certainly am ,” replied
“ Admirably. Perkins has kept si
es. “ I got
go his
tim , rubbing his bruises.
lent for twenty years.”
number just before he struck me.”
P««r P.rfein.l
An«th«r Shell Gam«.
A Med«rn Girl.
Old Hen— Now, don’t that best
“ Why did you turn him down?”
a ll! I haven’t been off this nest ten
“ H e began to yap about two liv
minutes, and now there isn’t one
ing
aa cheaply aa one. When I get
i n left in it. That’s just the way;
married
I expect to make the mon
a body never can find s thing where
ey
fly.”
—
Washington Herald.
she lays it.— Smart Set.
1
E. W . HODSON
We Never Sleep
Registered Pharmacist
cuemoma
| T h e Newberg Manufacturing and
Construction Co.
For the Best Prices on the Best Windows, Doors, Inter
ior and Exterior Finish, Mouldings, Building Stone,
Cabinet Work, Store Fixtures and General Mill Work