Newberg graphic., April 20, 1911, Page 2, Image 2

THE NEWBEKC QRAPHIC. April * » . <9«l
And Pa CM Mad and Alao Got Gama*
thing to Look At.
D e n t is t
O ffice o v e r F irst N a t’ l B ank
w
DR. A . M. DAVIS
LITTLEFIELD & ROM IG
PH YSICIANS A SURGEONS
Rankin & Doolittle
Office over U. S. National Bank
Last summer something went up,
and pa made a lot o f money. As
soon as ms found it out she said
she was going to be done in oil.
"A ll rig h t/’ said pa, "how much
o f you are you going to hare done ?”
"A full length.” said ma.
“ Gracious! Y ou’ll ruin m e!” said
pa. "Think o f the fram e!”
You see, ma is what I call fat,
but she says she is in the prime o f
life and that it is fitting fo r a wom­
an o f her age to be portly.
“ I f you’re going to be done,” pa
told her, “ be done brown. So don’t
to • department store and be
done by the yard with a halo
around you.”
Ha grinned like she always does
when she gets her own way and
went to a real artist— one o f those
fellows that lives in an attic with a
big skylight and armor and pieces
of people hanging around. This
was last September, and since then
ma has been going about once a
week to sit to the artist.
The first time ma came home
from her sit pa asked her how much
o f Venus had risen from the sea.
Ha got mad and told him to wait
until he saw his wife hanging from
the line at the academy.
Well, ma is done now, and the
other night we three went around
to the academy to see ma hanging.
Pa said he would like to see her as
others saw her. The picture looked
just like ma, only her cheeks were
red, and she didn’t have any funny
little lines around her eyes. Pa
laid she looked like a duchess and
patted her on the arm, and she got
all red and her eyes shiny, and she
looked real pretty. Then ma want­
ed to go borne, but pa wanted to
stay and hear what people said
about the picture.
While they were settling their
differences, as pa calls it, two ladies
same along ana began to talk about
ma’ s picture. One o f them said:
“ Isn’t it hideous? I don’t mean the
picture, but the subject. Why is it
artists always choose such ugly sub-
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T h e Graphic
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Newberg Graphic
P a said “ Blast the women!” re d
loud, and they looked around and
saw ma dressed like she was in the
picture. “ Merciful heavens!” one
squealed.
“ There’s the subject
now!”
And ma said, “ James, if
you had gone home when I wanted
to you would have spared your wife
this humiliation.”
Pa never said a word, and we
went home without stopping to get
■nything to eat, like we do when body, usudly the breastbone. It
we go to the show, and ma went has been found that these motor
points are the only places where
right to bed.
The next morning pa asked ma the current will cause these effects.
where she was going to hang her They are situated invariably at the
picture. “ Where am I going to points where the nerve controlling
K«ng it? ” screamed ma. “ In a place a certain muscle enters that muscle.
Thus to cause a look o f deep de­
where neither you or Thomas
(that’s m e) or any one else will see jection on a subject’s face the two
it.” And ma made the artist take poles are placed one on each side of
the chin.
The current causes a
the picture oat o f the academy.
When it came home she had it .contraction o f the muscle control­
This lip is
tied up in sheets and put up in the ling the upper lip.
garret and locked the door. Pa said drawn downward and outward, thus
if she wouldn’t let him see the pic­ causing the desired effect T o cause
ture he was going to have some­ an expression o f great mirth or
thing to look at, so he pasted the laughter the electrodes are placed
one in front o f the lobe o f each ear
bill up on tbe wall o f his den.
Gee! It makes me sick. Pa and on the cheek. The effect o f the
ma are always preaching about bilateral contraction is to draw the
'willful waste making woeful w an t” angles o f the mouth outward, to
That’s w h it that picture was. They throw the skin o f the cheeks into
might have bought an automobile. arclike folds and to close the eyes.
The expression o f sardonic mirth
—New Y'ork Press.
can be brought to a point o f hor­
T h « Talking Macaulay.
ror and the face be extremely re­
Macaulay is an (almost) never pulsive to gaze upon.
The most amusing probably is the
leasing talker and pours out the
prodigious stores o f learning, wit expression o f conceit and con­
ind eloquence with such an absorp­ temptuous haughtiness occasioned
tion in his subject that 1 doubted by the contraction o f the elevator
when I heard him if he would not o f the lower lip and chin. The ef­
;o on just the same if everybody fect is to flatten the chin and to
teft the room. Somebody asked the cause a slight rise in the under lip.
Duchess o f Sutherland (after din­ The investigator Von Ziemsen says
ner at Stafford House) if he liked in sarcasm that this muscle may be
the society o f women and whom he considered the interpreter o f exalt­
jeemed to prefer. She answered, ed self consciousness in scientists,
*0h, he only looks upon us all in officials and aristocrats.
the light o f interruptions.” — “ Lady
What has been said o f the facial
n
____ :u_>. Records. >’
muscles applies equally to the other
Granville’s
ones o f the body. Any effect can be
Cleaning the Cloak.
produced that is produced by na­
A farmer has an ambitious son ture. Each separate finger or toe
twelve years old, who, being left can be wriggled, the leg can be
done for a few hours the other day, drawn up or kicked out with force,
sried to clean the clock. He easily the arm can be made to go through
rot the clock to pieces, but his dif- different motions, the ears be made
Iculty lay in putting them together to move, the skin to tremble or the
again after cleaning.
teeth to chatter. Every kind o f ex­
At this task he was only partly pression known to humanity can be
racceasful, and upon his father’s re- produced on the face— one of ex­
tutu home he eagerly exclaimed:
treme pleasure or one o f extreme
“ Father, I’ ve cleaned the clock pain, one o f black wrath and
uid got enough works left over to threatening anger or one o f con­
nske another on e!”
temptuous conceit. The mouth can
be made to assume a pucker for
One Way to Avoid It.
the osculation process and the
When Carrie was three or four tongue be made to hang out or os­
fears old she went with her grand- cillate back and forth outside the
nother to visit an aunL The little mouth.
>ne ate very heartily o f berries,
The only thing that is left to na­
vhen her grandmother said, “ Don’ t ture and one that the current can­
tat any more berries or yon will not cause is the different degrees of
!uive a pain under your apron.” glaring done by the eyes or their
Harris regarded tbs dainty apron uparkling. This comes from some­
leriously for a moment and thsn thing deeper than even the electric­
ity’s long searching arm and seems
to be inherent only to conscious-
States Nat’l
o f Newberg
HOURS
J. L. Hoskins, President
S. L. Parrett, Vive President
J. C. Colcord, Cashier
W. E. Crozer, Asst. Cashier
T R O T T IN G
S T A L L IO N
Jewett and Tennyson.
On one occasion Tennyson was
Jow etfs guest at the Master’s
lodge, Balioi, with a few other men,
and after some good talk the poet
had retired early to his room. Next
morning at breakfast Tennyson was
in a silent mood, but as the men
were rising from the table he said:
“ Jowett, after I left you last night
I wrote a few verses. I am not sure
that I have ever done anything bet­
ter. I will read them to you.”
Jowett, preparing to go off for his
day*» work, replied hastily: “ Oh,
n o; thank you, Tennyson. I ’ ve no
time fo r that sort o f tiling just now.
I am very busy.”
The Old Familiar Facon.
“ Hello, there 1” exclaimed the
¡heerful man. “ Glad to see you!
3owdy do ?”
“ Why— er— howdy d o ? Howdy
lo?” returned the absentminded
nan, somewhat dubiously.
“ H ow are you ?”
"Pretty well, pretty well. Er” —
“ Y ou don’ t teem to remember
116 «
Pf
“ Why— er— your face is familiar,
rat— er” —
“ D on’t remember my name, eh?”
“ Well—er— I hope you’ll pardon
ne, but I must confess I don’t,”
laid the abeentminded man.
“ Y ou ’ll find it on the handle o f
;hat umbrella you are carrying,”
eraarked the cheerful man. “ Y ou
jorrowed it from me six months
igo.” — Philadelphia Ledger.
Deluded Hopes.
“ Miss Birdie, do you know that
foa have robbed me o f my peace of
nind— that on vour account 1 can-
iot sleep?” said young Spooner to
iis landlady’s daughter.
"This is so sudaen— you had bet-
er speak to my mother,” simpered
he young Isdt.
“ Speak
to your mother! I
bought it was you who banged the
>iano until 1 o'clock every night!”
-L on d on Telecraoh.
M ik e D u f f . N o . 3 9 2 0 6
Will make the season o f 1911 as follows: Sunday evening
and until Monday noon at Lafayette; Monday afternoon and
Tuesday until noon at Shed Stables, McMinnville; Wednes­
day at Amity, Thursday forenoon at Dayton, Thursday after­
noon at S t Paul, Friday, Saturday and Sunday forenoon at
Newberg.
Pedigree; Mike Duff, No. 39206; foaled 1902 by Zombro,
28029; Dam Coranemah, by Scarlet Letter, 14196; Grand-
dam Canemah, by Altam ont 3600, etc.
TERMS $25.
Colt to stand and suck.
Mike Duff is a beautiful black bay, black points, one o f
the best trotting stallions in the state.
Owners, C. A. Bareinger and F. E. Osborne.
W e have everything good to
appease the a p p e tite and
please the palate. Fresh gro­
ceries, fresh fruits, fresh veg­
etables. W e also carry the
largest line of stone ware,
china and crockery in the city.
The Hitchen Mercantile Co
Corner o f First and Meridian sis
Thos. Herd & Son
Building Contractors
Estimates Furnished
DUNLAP BROS
Contractors & Builders
Residences a specialty.
A ll work guar­
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Call at 110 Main street. Phono Black 18