T H E N E W B E R Q O R A P H IC . I*
N E W B E R Q G R A P H IC .
E. H. WOODWARD, Eiitor ut Publier
w
"
MR. PERCY’S POUT.
K Kept tottin g Worn* Until H «~B «t
to tk* Daetar.
Mr. Percy wss naturally inclined
to be aristocratic. He kept on the
valla of his library portraits o f his
ancestors as far back as be could
be sure o f them and, furthermore,
$ 1*S0 Per Year in Advance.
took unusual pleasure in recounting
to guests their distinguishing vir­
tues, says a writer in the New York
In the role o f husband, N at.
Evening Sun. The trouble began
G ood w in is reputed t o be a bad
whan Mr. Percy put on his shoes
a cto r. H is fou rth spouse has
and found tome little difficulty in
institu ted d ivorce proceedings
lacing his right out. It was a right,
ag ain st him .
close fit, ana whan he walked round
the room he limped a little. <
In ‘the con test fo r the loca tion
“ What’s the matter r asked Mrs.
Percy
as he limped into the dining
o f the new branch h osp ita l for
PLEA FO R TH E LO CAL
room.
th e insane, P endleton w in s ou t
PAPER.
“Oh, one o f my shoes pinches;
o v er B aker and U nion. Alas,
that’s alL-
there are n o t enough sta te insti­
Whereupon he attacked-the liver
T he C h ica go Am erican, in ref­ and bacon and tipped away at his
tu tion s t o g o round.
erence t o the efforts o f the large coffee. When he had finished his
The sch ool enum eration o f dailies t o supplant th e loca l breakfast ha put on hit hat, pinked
New b erg is m ore th an 2 0 0 great­ new spapers in their hom e field up a walking stick which he haa not
th is t o sa y , w hich citizens used for months sod months' end
er th an th a t at either H illsb oro
sallied forth into the world. In the
o r F orest G rove, w hile M cM inn­ generally should p on d er w ell:
elevator o f hit apartment house he
“ It w ou ld be a m isfortune t o
ville and D allas a te distan ced in
met Mr. Stowe, one o f ms neigh-,
the cou n try if th e few b ig cities bors.
the race b u t little less.
should interfere seriou sly w ith
•Hello r said 8towe.
;
*
T he G raphic desires t o com ­ the p u b lica tion o f valu able and
“ Good morning,” said Mr. Percy.
“ What's the matter with your
m end Superintendent Jam es o f in telligen t lo ca l new spapers—tor
the O regon peniten tiary fo r the u p on the lo ca l new spaper the foot? Gone lame ?"
“ Y e-eh; shoe fits pretty tight this
sta n d he takes in recom m ending w elfare o f the cou n try very large­
morning.”
_
th e a b olish in g o f ca p ita l punish­ l y depends. T he m etrop olitan
• “ Mebbe you've got the gout,
m ent and restrictin g the p ard on ­ d a ily ca n n ot p ossib ly k n ow the huh?”
in g p ow er.
U n l e s s c a p i t a l needs o f the va riou s localities
'M r. Percy grinned. They parted
punishm ent reduces hom icide, and sm all cities. O nly the loca l at the door, Mr. Stowe going to­
and w e d o n ’t believe it does, new spapers can p ro te ct loca l in­ ward the subway and Mr. Percy
^
there is n oth in g t o com m end it. terests and influence loca l opin­ making for the elevated.
“ Good morning, Mr. Percy,” said
ion . W e h ope th a t in every sm all ¿ ie janitor, who was standing on
R iv a lry ov er census figures to w n and every v i lldge there
the basement steps.
since the announcem ent o f the
“ Morning! How are you this
w ill be enough intelligence and
p op u la tion s o f the larger cities
public
spirit
t
o
su
p
p
ort
ea
rn
est-!
morning
?**
and cou n ties has n o w been trans-
ly
and
en
th
u
siastically
a
lo
c
a
l!
I’m
all right, but you seem
fered t o the sm aller places. A l­
to
be
lame.”
read y M cM inn ville and N ew berg new paper g iv in g en cou ragin g
“ Yes, seems eo.
are w a x in g w a rm . over*the rela­ a p p rob a tion and a g o o d livin g
touch o f
"P 'r’spe you’ve got
tiv e p o sitio n o f their respective
t
o
th
e
lo
ca
l
ed
itor,
w
h
o
a
lso
can
the
gout/*
said
the
janitor.
“ I ] wish
cities a t the to p o f the Yam hill
represent
and
Refend
ju
stice
and
I
could
catch
it
too.
But
I can't
cou n ty colum n.—A m ity Stand­
even
afford
to
get
the
stomach
ache,
p
u
blic
spirit
a
m
on
g
his
neigh­
ard.
let
alone
the
gout.”
E vid en tly the S tan dard is b ors. The m an is u n fortunate
Halfway down the block Mr. Per­
lon g in g fo r a g o o d new spaper w h o ca n n ot a ffo id t o ta k e t w o cy met another pf his acquaintances.
s to ry .
W e are sure N ew berg new spapers a t t o d a y ’s prices.
“ Hello, Percy!” said this one.
has’n t her bristles up o v er the He w h o can afford b u fo n e new s­ “ What’s the matter ? Got the
~ gout?”
m atter m entioned b y the S tand­ paper, in o u r op in ion shpuld dis­
ard, and w e have heard n o un­ p la y his sense o f d u ty t o th is i Mr. Percy looked rather serious,
usual rum blings in the d irection lo ca lity b y ta k in g the loca o l il “ I don’ t know'what it ia,” he said.
“ It’s swollen more or less, and it's:
p ap er.”
o f the cou n ty seat.
painful too. Every rime I bring my;
foot down—-oh, how it hurta!”
T he D irector o f the Census has *
A
wi Superfluities.
“That’s the gout, all righ t You
reported t o the m a y or o f D allas
In her book “ The Human Way* ought to lay off from rich food and
th a t the p op u la tion o f th a t city Mrs. Louise Collier Wilcox suggests stuff like that and go it easy.*'"
is 2 ,1 2 4 , b u t the O bserver thinks very subtly the difficulty o f draw- , “ I guess I will too. This is no
ing the line at sufficiency.
joke, now, I’m telling you.”
som e m istake h as been m ade in
A lady who was also a philan- i And when Mr. Percy left his
sending the figures, as th e to ta l thropist crossed the Russian frontier i friend and moved on one more
sent in b y the enum erators w as to visit Tolstoy, and, ushered into blogk his limp became more and
2 ,3 7 5 . The p op u la tion o f New­ his presence, she uttered the usual | more pronounced,- and he even
berg has n o t been given ou t, but conventional greetings and excla­ seemed to take a certain sort of
the G raphic has m aintained all mations, while the sage eyed her pride in it.
“ Rheumatism, Mr. Percy?” asked
a lon g th a t m any sm all cities abstractedly and silently.
a
friend
later on.
“ As if,” she said— “ as if he were
and tow n s w ou ld be disappointed
“ No, sir! Gout, sir!”
quietly turning back the top o f my
a t the result as given b y the head and looking at the thoughts
“ Hurts r
“ Excruciating pain, sir! Still, the
census reports, and w e feel quite inside.”
When she ceased speaking he j Percy» have always had it, and I
sure th a t m any N ew berg people
have the m ark set t o o high for touched her lanre and at the same I suppose I must put up with it. Old
t i l .. f-B io n lb l. d w . UHl « i d family i n t a m t j , t o o . . I ~ think
their hom e city , and consequent­
I'll, get off here and see my physi­
sweetly:
ly they w ill be disappointed
“ Why do you wrap so much cloth cian. Well, so long!”
w hen the result is announced. on your arms? I f you ripped it off
He limped off and in due course
F igures are stu bborn th in gs and it would make a nice frock for a lit­ o f time limped into his doctor's of­
fice and described his symptoms.
they refuse t o lie w hen in the tle girL *________________
“ I see,” said the doctor, writing
hands o f th ose w h o are com ­
Buay Com er Underground.
ell boon get you
a prescription. “ W
WeT
petent and honest.
O f all the wonderful engineering all right again. D on't worry.1
work done by the Metropolitan un­
"But— aw— doctor, isn't gout
R IG H T T O IN JU RE A N O T H . derground railways o f Paris, the chronic?*
moat complicated ia that under the
“ Gout? Yea, gout’s chronic. But
ER’S BUSINESS.
Piece de r Opera, where three greet you haven't got th e'gout. You've
tubee croes each other, ell o f which got the chilblains."
A ccord in g t o a recent decision
ust here station facilities in the
“ N -n-n-n-n-o-o-o-o-o!” said Mr.
o f the M ississippi suprem e cou rt, crossing's tangle. The three tubes, Percy. “ Is that all?”
an y person m ay law fu lly refuse, the platform , stairways and eleva­
from caprice o r m alice, t o have tors constitute a veritable Chinees
Mian «at Traders In the World.
puzzle. The labyrinth o f approach­
There is e colony o f merchants
business dealings w ith an y other
es and platforms, there being six
p erson , “ b u t he ca n n ot from such o f the latter, make poeaible a quick in Kingston, the capital o f Jamaica,
who can give cards and spades even
m otives influence others t o the exchange from one line, to another
to tbe bund Chinaman “ for ways
sam e course fo r the purpose o f or pesstge to end from the surface. that are dark and tricks that are
inju ring the business o f such In order to make it easy far the vain." They take one match out of
public to find the direction to take
oth er. The a ct and accom pan y­
there ia a vast room for intercom­ every box they sell until they have
in g m otive togeth er con stitu te munication giving access to all plat­ enough matches to fill another box
the unlaw ful a ct.”
forms. The people taking trains are and so make an extra cen t They
shave tiny flakes off cakes o f soap
A lum ber com pan y had forb id ­ dropped to the desired train levels
and boil them down to make other
den its em ployes, on pain o f dis­ by the elevators running from the cakes. They put a thin layer of mo-
ticket rooms.— Popular
charge, t o patron ize a certain
Isaacs on the bottom o f the scoop
retail m erchant w h o had offended
r i m Free
with which they serve rice so that a
The Australian buahman uses a few grains will stick to the bottom.
the com p a n y.
Som e o f the
em ployes disregarded the order, method of his own to procure e These are only a few o f their thou­
light. First he selects two pieoes o f sand tricks to turn e dishonest
and w ere discharged. T he store­
light wood, each about e foot long, penny. Without doubt they are the
keeper brou g h t suit for dam ages from the cork tree or black fig tree. meanest traders in the world.
fo r h avin g lost their trad e and One, a flat piece, he lavs on the
the suprem e cou rt sustained the ground amid e pile of dry leaves.
Upon this stop o f wood he kneels
ca u fe o f action .
In days long ago pins ware eo ex­
in
order to hold down the ends. pensive that husband» gave their
Its decision is sim ilar t o one
Then he rolls the other pointed wives certain allowances just for the
recently given b y the M innesota
stick between the palms of hie purpose o f the costly luxury; hence
sup reme cou rt, w hich held th a t a hands so that it bores e hole iqto
we call the money given to e women
w ea lth y m an w h o, because be the flat stop o f wood. This makes for her own special use “ pin mon­
had been shaved t o o d o s e b y the fine wood oust, which catches on ey." Five centuries after pins were
village barber o r fo r som e oth er ‘fire, sending tie spark'am ong the invented the peddlers sung the fol­
reason had taken a dislike to dry leaves. By blowing upon the lowing rhyme as they went through
tiny light the bush man soon hat a the streets in London:
him , established a rival sh op and
fire, which he feeds with more
T n rawa a penny, O!
em ployed a m an to run it, “ w as leaves. •,
I«n't that a many. OT
Silver beads. eoMea potato
g u ilty o f a w an ton w ro n g and
n S C X D R V K R T T H U R S D A Y MORN I MO
or
an a ction a b le t o r t .”
And the
cou rt rubbed it in b y adding:
“ T o call such con d u ct com peti­
tio n is a perversion o f term s. It
is sim ply the a p p lication o f force
w ith ou t legal ju stifica tion , w hich
in its m oral q u a lity m ay be n o
better than h ig h w a y rob b ery .”
These t w o suprem e cou rt de­
cision s are in dication s th a t the
old ideas o f com p etition and o f
laissex faire, w hich w e w ere
ta u g h t t o regard as sacred and
in violable, are g ettin g serious
jo lt s in som e qu arters.—-Eugene
G uard.
i
S i. 7/fere/tant ¿hardw are
Extraordinary Bargains
For a Few Days
good comradeship or the students
that so rough a kind of fun ends
Ww Made the Bank Clark It «alias It
rdaal of Na
Initiatory
A H wheru it begins, in the mock duel,
W as of to fa e Importance.
In Paris.
and never, it is said, leads to resent­
Although she had been standing
The most curious of the many ment or ill wilL— New York Press.
in line nearly an hour to start a new practical jokes perpetrated by the
account in a Brooklyn savings bank, art students in the Latin quarter is
.
•••Mp* Asykim.
she was not at all subdued by the a kind o f initiatory ordeal which . A a ty gentleman was recently m -
formality o f the proceedings and the two newest comers of s class
had frequently informed those are sometimes compelled to under- ^aj
birds.
Whatever his
______„
standing near
near ber
her just
just what fehe go by their fellow students o f the I f » « «
of finance, his
thought o f the delay.
Beaux Arts. It is a painters’ duel, I ^ ootin g waa not remarkable for its
When at length she reached the in which neither combatant, no | accuracy, t° the great dieguetof the
window she answered the questions matter how small his experience i h **®
attendance, wlhose tip
that the clerk asked in a lond, self nor how great his nervousness, need generally regulated by the use o f
reliant voice. She told her age in fear for a fatal termination..
the hag.
tones that could be heard four desks
“ Dear me,” at last exclaimed the
The reluctant duelists are provid­
beyond; she was quite willing that ed with tall stools and seated oppo­ sportsman, “ but the birds geem ex­
every one should know her full site each other at arm’s length. ceptionally strong on the wing this
name, her husband’s name, her They wear old clothes, and in the year.”
mother’s name, her father’s name hand of each is placed a large paint
“ Not all of 'em , sir,” came the re­
and just where each one o f them brush charged with color, the one mark; “ you’ve shot at the same bird
lived.
dipped in prnasian bine, the strong­ this last dozen times. ’ E’s follerin'
“ Have yon any occupation ?” est and most vivid of azure tints, yon about, sir.”
asked the clerk carelessly.
“ Following me about 1 Nonsense!
and the other in carmine lake,
“ I have,” she replied firmly. “ I which is a fine rich crimson. The Why should a bird do that V*
“ I dnnno, sir, I’m sure,” replied
keep house.-*’
word is given, and the two men
“ Well, that’s nothing,” ha an­ begin to daub. Being usually stran­ the man, “ unless he’s ’angin’ round
swered blithely, writing “ None” in gers to one another and without the for safety!” — London Ideas.
the space on the line.
least cause o f quarrel, they com
Would Drawn All Sounda.
“ N othing!" gasped the new de- monly show at first a great deal of
The
agent o f the apartment
positor. “ You call that n othing? caution and consideration, not to
house
was
trying to discourage him
And m rw ith thirteen in the family aay timidity, and do not make much
;knd tw e e fth e boys working nights, effort to inflict conspicuous streaks from applying for a flat
“ Your nerves would he naned,**
that-there's four extra meads a or to touch each other’s face.
said
the agent “ There is a pho-
y besides the regular ones, and
Soon, however, one or the other
on the second floor that
tw o'girls at the courting age, with gets a smear which he does not like
and night”
etetra white skirts and petticoats and attempts to retailiate upon his
“
Dot
was
nuttin’s," responded the-
every week, till I’m ironing along opponent. Then the contest waxes
little man in the red and blue cap.
until 8 o’clock Thursdays!
warm. The spectators hasten to
“ On the third floor a girl prac­
“ You, sitting here on that little take sides and urge on their favor­
tices
on the piano all day.”
chair, doing nothing bnt a little bit ite with shouts, cheers and encour­
“
I
vud hear her nod.”
o f talking and writing from 9 nntil aging cries. The tall stools totter;
“
And
just across the air abaft a
8 o'clock— you say my occupation is the q$t brushes spatter; the antag­
lunatic
blows the cornet at all
‘nothing!' See here, young man, onists daub more and more fiercely
hours.”
pnt down my occupation as and furiously until frequently men,
“ Der sounds vud nod reach me.”
sekeeper for thirteen or I'll go stools and ail go down together in
“ Great Josephus! Are you deaf T r
and pnt my money in some other a struggling red and blue heap upon
“ Nein! I blsy der drombone.” —
bank! ‘Nothing!’ Say, if yon call the floor. The duelists are then as­
Chicago
News.
what I do ‘nothing' yon must have sisted to their feet, shake hands,
to keep a separate page for the do­ laugh at each other's appearance
Nothing but tha Truth.
ings o f other folks!”
and adjonrn to the lavatory, where
The Irish foreman o f a western
“ Bnt it's a mere formality,” they good natnredly help each other factory had considerable trouble
gasped the clerk when she paused to remove the traces of the conflict.
with q Swedish employee because o f
for breath and gave him a chance.
The knight of the red brush is the letter's stupidity. Finally he
“ Yon can make it as formal as ‘ found to have smeared his adver­
discharged the Swede, hut he waa
yqu want to,” she responded with sary nntil he might pass for a hero too good natured to refuse hi™ a
dignity, “ but I'm not going to stand o f the goriest field o f history, while
letter of recommendation. Being
here and see such a lie as that ‘noth­ the victim o f the bine brush, if only
something of s diplomatist, the
ing' pnt down on any legal book. bine blood were a fact instead of a
Celt couched the letter in the fo l­
No, air! You write the truth down figure, might pose for a survivor of
lowing terms: “This man. has
there, 'Housekeeper for thirteen in an equallv desperate fight. ,
worked for me for one week, apd 1
the fam ily!” ’—New York Herald.
It speaks well for the temper and am satisfied *
^y.
HER OCCUPATION.
.r 1
.4
COLORFUL DUELS.
........
E
Ä
C
GROWING
CONDENSED S TA TE M E N T
Still w e g ro w and there is g o o d reason
O F C O N D IT IO N
fo r ou r stea dy and sa tisfa ctory g row th .
Al d» dew of \mmm NerwaUr 10. 1910
The tact th a t ou r business has increased
m ore than one hundred thousand d o l­
RESOURCES.
lars du rin g the last yea r indicates th a t
Loan, «ad Ducaoae................................$230.79234
BssJi ffisJ S s C
M
M
M
- -55.462.50
Forata* m i Fmmm...............
3.556.95
R h IE m i ...............................
3360.71
CaA «ad Eacbragt........ ......................... 102364.08
the pnblic has n ot lo st sight o f the essen­
Total..................................
$39534530
O ur cash reserve is 36 percen t.
20133406
'395345.30
The law
requires on ly 15 per cent—the ad d ition al
21 per cent is evidence o f ou r con serva­
tism .
LIABILITIES.
Coital Stack..........................
50.00000
Sarah* rad P iati....... ................ 1 .... 1430032
..................
Total............................
tia ls th a t m ake a bank stron g and safe.
S tu d y the annexed
statem ent.
W e are p rou d o f it and w e appreciate the
business and confidence o f ou r friend»
w hich m ade it possible.
ZßAe ‘U n ite d S tates 9 /a tio n a t SUan/r o f Jfetvberg