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About Newberg graphic. (Newberg, Or.) 1888-1993 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 22, 1910)
THE NEW EBRO LOOK ONLY ONE QUESTION. carrying everything before him. Since the days of Daniel Webster, the audience had heard nothing to equal it. Spellbound, they listened to his torrential eloquence, and then right in the midat of a period glowing with passion and rhetorical beauty there came a drawling voice from the rear o f the hall. "A ll I want," said the interloper, "is to ask you' one straight ques tion.” • A . E . W IL SO N , the Jeweler "Very good, my friend," said the HAS T H E M A M fn v w A n il W K oi 4 K af m in t. orator. "And what is si f that ques tion ?" The interloper proceeded to drawl out a very sockdolager. It was such a question as would stump speakers o f any age. Who could be expected to answer such a poser offhand? The audience turned breathlessly to the orator to Groceries N o Em peror—either o f a People or o f Finance—can buy better food than we ■ell you, at prices you usu ally pay fo r good things. J. L. Van Bianconi Plumbing! LET US FIGURE WITH YOU, "W ell,” he said after a few mo ments’ cogitation, scratching his head thoughtfully, "that is a poser. In fact, I do not know that in twenty years’ experience on the public forum I have ever had so difficult a question put to me to he answered offhand. Nevertheless I will try to meet the gentleman’s wish, and in answer to lus request I will say this." Whereupon there followed a bril liant exposition o f all the points bearing upon the proposition thus unexpectedly presented. The reply was m asterful It shewed a re sourcefulness in debate that was unparalleled in the experience of hia hearers, and when ne had fin ished the audience rose to its feet, a large portion o f it springing up on to the seats o f the auditorium and waving their handkerchiefs en- "And now,” said th r orator, his face all aglow with pleasure over his triumph— “ now that I have tried, even if inadequately, to an swer my friend’s question perhaps he would like to ask another." The audience turned to the in terloper to see if there was any thing left o f him, grinning at his discomfiture and awaiting a possible second question if he perchance should have the temerity to aak it. "W hy, no, jedge,” said he. "That fust question was the only one yon alt me to ask you."— Harper’s Weekly. - Chelty I m u n Himself. Cholly had entered hie father's Ice after graduating from college, ctuality that gradually got upon old gentleman's nerve«. W ell," said the latter one morn* snapping the cover o f his watch rily as Cholly walked in about ! past 10, "tins is a fine time o f Antiquities of Baseball. The devil was the-first coacher. Eve stole first. Adam stole seoond. When Isaac met Bebecca at the well she was walking with a pitcher. 8amson struck out a great many when he beat the Philistines. Moses made his first run when he slew the Egyptians. Cain made a base hit when he slew Abel. Abraham made a sacrifice. The prodigal son made a home run. David was a good thrower, and Moses shut out the Egyptians at the Bed sea.— Nation al Monthly: ' Gash w ith order or delivered O. O. D. L A. ELLIS G e n e r a l C o n tra c to r Septic tanka built after the latest approved methods. Sewer and Tile Work. Well Digging Tfewberg Jfdw . dt ¡Plum bing Co, SUCCESSORS T O V IN C E N T A W ILSO N Special Spray Pumps Looking for Xm as Gifts? A fter years of saving they had at last acquired a home o f their own. "O f course," said her husband, with a sigh, " i f a nice to have our nothing, the letter D. Should this rule o f four fail to work on any purported United States currency note one may safely wager all he " I miss our monthly scraps with has that the note is bad. This rule the landlord about the repairs applies only to United States cur which he never would make and rency and not to national bank which we never supposed he notes.— Philadelphia Record. would."— Boston Poet. Harlem girl who is extravagantly fond o f her mother. She likes her father well enough, but he is far from being first in her affections. The caller, knowing the situation, asked the child why she didn't love her father as ahe did her mother. "Oh, you eee," she explained loft* The principle of the eundial is too well known to require descrip tion. In it the gnomon, cut to the latitude o f the place where the dial ia to be erected, is pointed due north, while the lines which mark the hours are aet out at certain cal culated intervals. The sundial pos sesses, however, the great disadvan tage that during the noontide hours from 11 a. m. to 1 p. m. it is prac tically useless, because the shadows cast by the sun, almost vertically overhead, are so short as to make the dial useless as a dock during these bourn. Also the dial is fixed in one spot, and cannot he earned about from place to place,— London News. •Youngstown Telegram. M A K E TH IS C H R ISTM AS AN A L L -Y E A R -R O U N D C H R IS T M A S and a doubly eventful < # C H R ISTM AS,— by mak* amazingly ignorant on ell subjects other than law. A good story is told o f a judge who once interrupt ed a welTknown patent couneel: " I am sorry to stop you; but, while I understand the term ‘ecoentric’ when applied to persona, I must confess that I am quite et a loss to appreciate its meaning when ap plied to things.” The learned coun sel looked a little puzzled for a mo ment and then, amid considerable merriment evoked by hia reply, agid, "A n eccentric, my lord, is a circle whose center is not in the center." And a precious good rough and ready definition too.-—Law Notes. When President Hadley succeed ed the learned and witty Timothy Dwight aa president o f Tala uni versity the exercises attendant upon the transfer of authority ware marred by a heavy fall o f rain. It earns down , suddenly just aa a. col umn o f people, President Dwight and Professor Hadley at the head, were crossing the campus . L Some one handed tne couple an umbrella, and Professor Hadley was about to open it when the older man took it from him, saying aa he unfolded it: "L ot mo carry it, profeaeor. Your reign will begin tom orrow." One .Thing The tourist from Chicago usually makes herself seen and heard. One lady o f such tendencies announced to a surprised audience in a London boarding house that her husband had written to «ay that he was go ing to buy an automobile. " I don’t know whether he’ll go in for a tow- earing oar or a running around," said the voluble lady. "But one thing ia certain— we’ll have our own gar bage."— Argonaut. the Edison Phonograph The EaHU*t M m . comes into your hom e. There’s an Edison at ewery price from $ 1 2 .5 0 to $2 50.0 0. W e’ll arrange E A SY TERM S to suit your Certain passages in the "Iliad " o f Homer would lead to the inference that coins o f brass were «truck as tarly as 1184 B. C. Tradition af firms that the Chinese had bronse coins as early as 1120 B. C. But Herodotus, “ the father o f hiatory,” ascribe« the “ invention” o f coins to the Lydians, about nine centuries B. C., and there ia no satisfactory evi dence that coins were known prior to that date. Th« Marriage Knet. don't want to K IE N L E & S O N S Sale We have a large line o f Holiday Goode,.consuming o f all kinda o f Cutlery, Carving Seta, Silverware, Coffee Percolators, Toilet lets/«**. Try one of o u r Delphos Sheet Iron Com Poppers, if We' 'have the exclusive * handflngof ShaM lbclT Ware. Best on the market for the money. W o are When In need of a plum ber Call on us. Exclusive Far Beet Mr. Gllette, one of the members of the firm, Dealers in le a thorough mechanic In Plumbing, Spraying Steamfitting and Metal roofing. All work Am erican Wore M aterials guarantaed. '* Prices reasonable, consist ent with first class work. and , raff. ^ i Clerk— May I have a day's leave tomorrow, sir? It is my mother-in- law's funeral Employer— My dear Huber, this mustn’t occur again. Last week your wife died, ana now your moth er-in-law's going to be buried. T oo must arrange things better in your W hen M m Carnal Alls. Too much candy and cake had made little Bobert so ill that hia mother found it necessary to ad-, minister medicine that the boy greatly disliked. “ Ugh, I can’t take it I” he com plained. " I f a just awful I" “ Take Hie oil, dear," pleaded his mother, “ and 111 take yon to the boo tomorrow to see the animals." “ Will we see the eleohant ?” "Yea, and the camel too.” “ What's a camel like, mamma?" “ Oh, i f a a funny big thing with two different stamaehst” Little Bobert manfully ewallow- as, lew Few of those wha talk about the "marriage knot” realize that the knot was ever anything more than a mere figure of speech. Among the Babylonians tying tha knot was part of the marriage ceremony. There the priest took a thread of the garment of the bride and an other from that of the bridegroom and tied them into a knot, which he gave to the bride, thus symbol izing the binding nature of the union. The Jeweler-Optician Eyes Tested and Accurately Fitted I C. B. CUMM INGS T H E H O U S E FURNISHER W e haw« in stock a com plete line o f Fornitóre, P aint,' W all Paper, Picture M oulding, Glass, C. B. C um m ings, Newberg, Or. H O U S E C LEAN IN G IS M ADE EASY W h en you get the YAM H ILL E LE C TR IC CO. to clean your Carpets, R u gs, Portters, U phol stery and W alls w ith their E L E C T R IC V A C U U M C L E A N E R . See them for rates. Telephone Blue 34. Sick Room Necessities I can supply at loweet prioaa Hot W ater Bottle«. Fountain S y - ringes>nd Bulb Syringes, bed Pans. Ice Cape. Air Cushions Fever Thermometers, Medicine Tubes. Surgical D ressings, and all other tick room requisites. My prescription work is givsn the most careful attention and nothing but the beet of drugs and micaJs are used. A full and complete line o f School books and School Supplies and Low ney's Candles, Perfumes and Toilet W aters. Send, or telephone, or write, or come—the price will be the same anyway— always the same. L yn n B. Ferguson Py—cription Druggist!
