A
■
|
S f i P O T U
P a r lo r -O a r D iv e r s io n .
Id .
"Porter," Mid the fussy lady In the
W ■ w ■
* *
pallor car, “ I wish you would opon this
Few are entirely (tee from it.
window.”
It may develop eo slowly aa to oaoae
The lady In the aeat directly across
little if any diatarbanoe during the whole the car heard the request and drew a
period of childhood.
I cloak about her.
WIT Or THE YOUNGSTERS.
Little Freddii •Did Ood make every­
Saplelgb— Yaws, W eddle. B e
¡made evwythlng foh some— aw— per*
pose, doncber know. Little Freddie—
What do yon s’pose he made yon for?
Teacher— What la a shepherd. Tom­
my 7 Tommy— One who cares fo ri
¡sheep. Teacher— That’s righ t
Now,
remarked the commercial .Tommy, can you tell me what a eow-
our duty la very plain, 'ard Is? Johnny— One who cares for
- * * ” • ! * ,b" i *■— -'•
enmptioD, before earning eruptions, ■b® *“ appq!, testily,
aorca or swellinga.
death.'*
-To get entirely rid of it take the great
btood-puriller,
Hood’s Sarsaparilla
In nsoal liquid form or In chocolated tablets
known m S u re* tube. 100 doses |L
lauistwui.
The elderly and somewhat flnstrated
lady stopped an obeee man on a crowd-
ad street
“ Dees It .make any difference," She
naked, "which o f these cars I take to
the cemetery?** „
"Not to me, madam." answered the
polite heavy-weight aa be lifted his
hat and passed on.
The Invention o f clocki la by no
auane a modern one Clocki which
were ran by weights ware need by the
Saracens at the time o f the CruMdee,
sad some authorities state that they
w»ire Invested by Padflcui as early aa
the ninth century.
In the works o f Dante are references
to machines which »truck the hours,
I shall freeze to thing t
I
>en ciom It and suffocate the other."
Puck*
_________
j f # It tm tm m w r.
A million or two o f people who have
ent this summer at the seashore are
rongly disposed to *>end next sum-
•r In the back country or the moan-
Ins. i f they persevere In this deter-
'nation their placM w ill be filled by
arsons who bavo spent this summer
the mountains and the back coon-
y and don't want to go back. It has
en a very trying qummer, moggy,
ggy, 'skeetry, damp, moist, hot sad
lacellaneonsly plalatlve. hot ■ It has
en about aa bad i f one place u la
tother.— Harper's Weekly
'
— ---------------—
ft TE R R IB LE E X PE R IE N C E .
Teacher (to
new
pupil)— What*e
your name? New Pupil—T-t-tomhiy
T-t-tlaker. Teacher— And do you stnt-
«**
time. Tommy? New Pupil
— N-n-no, m-ma'am; o-o-nly when I
t-t-talk.
One day little 4-year-old Elmer had
been naughty and his mother found H
necessary to use her slipper rather
freely. When bis father came borne to
dinner Ehner M id : “ Peps, I wish you’d
di«charge mamma; shea getting too
hossy ”
I _ ’ „ „
. . .
-
Babri had been very ill, and
^
when
WM convalescent
she M id: "Mamma, Is heaven a bean-
tlful p la c e r "Yea, dear," was the re­
ply. “Then why did that old doctor try
Ind.* m j i :
" I had been showing symptom« of kid-
ft church recently dedicated In fit. Paul
.
SOT trouble from the
« M erected at a coat of 97,000, raised by
\
timo I was mastered
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING
È
gorlc* D rops and Soothing; Syrups. I t is Pleasant. It
contains neither Opium* Morphine nor other Vareotle
■ubstance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worm s
and allays Feverishness. It cores .Diarrhoea and W ind
Colic. It relieves Teething’ Troubles* cures Constipation
and Flatulency. I t assimilates the Food, regulates the
Stomach and Dowels, giving healthy and natural sleep.
The Children’s Panacea --The Mother’s Friend.
CASTORIA
G E N U IN E
F e n th e e s M .
Grandma— Tommy, is there anything
* I see they’ve discharged that derft who
you like better than a piece of pit?
M v o d oo much money oat of kU small
Tommy (w it h
Me month fa ll)— •alary. Didn’t they know he was grafting
Yes’m. Two pieces.
,
all the time?"
“ Yea, bat they suspect now that ho got
_ M o tio n w ill And M r-. W in d ow 's Soothing
Syrup the bast rem edy to ss e for th eir eh U d ieê some of A c graft that rightfully belonged
to tho bigger officer* of the company."
during th e teething period.
and than dropsy.
I
WM weak and help-
lese, having ran down
from
F
.
180 t o
1SS
pounds.
I was hay­
m oralised the profeaeer, "b u t hi the «mat tsaaitee.Dr.B H .K iia*.Ld. sm A ich B t,rau a..P a
ing terrible pain in the kidney* and the Selwatlat’a D e e e rlp tlo a o f B a r t h -
of too many men It in a policy that has
-------------------------
«w a k e ’s W o r k N e a r V a lp a r a is o .
Mentions passed almost involuntarily.
a surrender value."__________
a C en e etlee .
CharlM
Darwin,
the
famous
English
My left leg swelled until it was 84
T#
Brook
in
N
e
w
s
h
o
es
.
Mr.
Stoplate—
I believe I most say
Inches around, and the doctor tapped it • d e n tilt once traveled through Booth
N
PAINLESS
M A I N 2029
EXTRACTI ON
FAILING BLOC
3 " ii. W A S H
PORTLAND CBÉ
S O <i
PLAT1S$5
America ; and one o f the beet'sccounts
o f Chile la contained in ' hie "Journal
o f Researches.’’
This description o f the Andea le
Tommy—What la the "height o f fol­
from that portion o f bis narrative In
ly." pat
which be recounts a camping trip In
Pa— Yrtnr slater's bean, my son. He
the mountains near Valparaiso.
la shx feet two.
Darwin says:
"T h e evening waa
Dingoes— Shadbolt, I ’ve borrowed a
good many little some from you, at one
time and another. Do you know just bom
much 1 owe you?
Shadbolt (with alacrity)— Yea; it’s ex­
actly 9»A
Dlnguae— Then let me have 9ft will
you? That will make it an even hundred,
and It will be easier for me to remember.
R e a lise d It H e r*e lf.
HARD WATER
MADE SOFT
The angry waves broke upon the state­
ly vessel.
“ Isn't the commotion terrible?" ex­
claimed the young man with the steamer
cap and the camera.
“ O, yes!” moaned the pale young wom­
an in the steamer chair. “ You feel it*
too, do yon?"
W o w ld Bait Hies B etter.
The Judge— Mr. Twiggies, do you wish
to poll the Jury?
The lawyer (who had kwt his case)—
No, yoar honor; bat it would afford me
Infinita Mtlefectioa If I oould club the
P r e k a k lf W e n t A l l B ig h t.
AU desterà. Fall Ha* eeckae* Borea * Borei
Boepi H-peso booklet aedeeevm tr ptetare Tal« la
10 outer- n w ter 10 coeu end deeler'a n e e e P A ­
C IF IC COAST B O R A X ca, Oakland CaL
W . L. D O U G L A S
*3.50 B U dt
*3.00 Shoes
Y IN T H E W O R L D
W.LDwglM$ 4 M l U p
Ite a jw M itiq p rte
"J. Smith, Famished Geological Struc­
ture, III."
This waa the addrees on the letter
postmarked “ Boston, Aug. 27, 1000."
"T ry Starved Rock," wrote the edu­
cated railway postal clerk just bslew the
address.— Chicago Tribune.
Artificial rubles are now »access fully
made up to twelve or fifteen carats by
M. Yemeni, a scientist of Paris.
T h e R o e w a lle A i r e f F risco.
We Trust
Doctors
V
.I «
eetWn of the bowel,, notennon* prod not, or*
ebeerbed, cautln* b**d*eh*. M ilo******, see-
••*, dr*pop*!*. *nd the* prevsettee the Bar-
*ee*rni* from M u l b b*»t work. A r*r *
good-night.
Always shake la Allen's Foot-Earn, a powder,
»c u r e s hot, sweating, aching, swollen lest.
Cures corns, in grow in g n d ls and baniona A t
«11 druggists and shoe stores, Me. Don't accept
M lu
T e r a le e p — O h,
_.
..
,
,B o ®M y o n 7
A i i l ^ r f f l E L n W f e L f S W 1* “ - Addr" *
A lim & Olmsted, U Koy, N. T .
Mr Stoplate— Why, really— ah— it’e
getting rather late. Isn’t It?
d o n ’t !
W hy
A song called the "Hymn of Apollo," I M1 m Teraleep— Yea, altogether too
written 280 yearn B. C., has just been late to say good night Say good-morn-
•ung for th e first time In England.
lng. — Cleveland Leader.
In cutting a canal at Bordeaux a buried
statue hM been discovered of Anne o f
A n * : ria. queen of Louis X I I L , who died
at ParU in 1000.
9100 Reward. $ 100 .
•
The readers o f this neper w ill be pleased ta
learn th at there U e t least one dreaded disease
that science has been able to c o re In e ll Its
stage*, and th a t U Catarrh. H a ll's Catarrh
Cure u the on ly p e d tive cure know n to the
m edical fratern ity. Catarrh b eing a oonetita-
tlon al dieaaae, requires s constitutional treat­
ment. H a ll's Catarrh Cure M fatten in tern a lly,
acting d ire c tly upon the U ood en d mneons
sufiaees o f th e system, mere by destroying the
loun Jetton of the disease, and g iv in g the pa-
tien t stren gth by bu ild in g up the conetltntion
and assisting nature in doin g it* w o rk . T h e
proprietors have so much faith In Its e n re ttr*
powers th a t th ey offer On# Hundred Dollars
for any ease th a t It fails to cure. Bend lo r Hat
of testim onials.
A d I r e s a T V . J. CH EN EY A CO., Toledo, Ok.
Bold by druggists, 75c.
Hair* Fam ily P ills are the best.
rough m au o f green stone which
crowns the summit o f the Andes. Thlk
rock, aa frequently happen«, was much
shattered and broken Into huge angu­
lar fragments. I observed, however,
one remarkable circumstance— namely,
that many o f the surfaces presented
every degree o f freshness, some appear­
ing as If broken the day before, while
on others lichens bad either Just be­
come, or had long grown, attached. I
so folly believed that this was owing
to the frequent earthquakes, that I felt
inclined to harry from below each
loose pile.
"W e spent the day on the summit,
and I never enjoyed one more thor­
oughly. Chile, bounded by the Andes
and the Pacific, waa seen as in a map.
"W ho can avoid wondering at the
force which has up heaved these moun­
tains, and even more so at the count­
less ages which It most have required
to,-have broken through, removed and
leveled whole masses o f them?
" I wondered bow any mountain
Plggmae— I see that the champion
San Francisco la permeateqr with an
bootblack la dead.
Dismakea— Yea: Death tovaa a shining air o f romance and adventure. No­
mark.— American Spectator.
where may one turn without being re­
minded o f the legends that have been
woven aronnd the forty-nine re and
their Immediate followers. The name«
o f the streets and o f the business
blocks, inch aa Kearney, Sutter, Mont­
gomery, Dupont, Flood, Crocker and
Sharon, bring to the mind o f the visi­
tor long forgotten stories o f riot or ad­
venture and o f fortune« whose vast-
ness once excited his wonder or made
him Incredulous. T o read the words
that
are painted upon the street cars
I f y o u a r e s u ffe r in g fr o m
o f San »Francisco Is to be carried back
im p u re b lo o d , thin b lo o d , d e ­
In fancy to the time when the city was
T ry W . L I l n u f l u W o m e n '*, M in e * en d
b ility , n ervou sn ess, exhaus­
peopled only by thoee who, having
CHUdron’a ehoeet f o r etyle, lit en d w e a r
t k n o i e e l oU ier m oke*.
turned from all ejee that men hold
tion , y o u shou ld begin at on ce
It I could take you Into m y large
dear, had gone In search o f fortune and
w ith A y e r ’ s S arsap arilla, the
factories at Brockton, Maas.,and show
found It, always Just as they were
you how carefully W .L . Douglasshoee
S arsap arilla y o u h ave know n
about to give up In despair and die of
a t « made, yen would than understand
•11 y o u r life . Y o u r d o c to r
starvation or succumb to the hardships
w k y th ey bold their shape, m better.
with which human endurance could
k n o w 8 lt,too . A s k him about It.
fio longer cope.— Chicago RecortL-Her-
T ee meat leek well »H er the condition e f
yeerflhrerena bowel*. Uni*,* that* I* «ally
aid.
Ä
ALW AYS
In Use For Over 30 Years
J V - out of tho army, but.
» a ll my lifa I nevai
Buffered aa in 18«t.
K t e Headaches, diuineee
C T
and alMplaameM first,
D
a x c o t ic
N EW YO RK.
^ ¡\
O
N ot N
What Is CASTORIA
> 9 B e a n the Signature o f
Italy about the end o f the thirteenth
century. The oldest clock o f which
there Is any certain record was erected
tn a tower in the palace o f CharlM Y.
volt Ava., Indianapolis,
o f France In 1804.
10.000 contribution! of 70 cents each.
Promotes DtgestionJCheerful-
ness and Resi.Conlalns neither
Opium.Morphine norMkieraL
H ad to K n e w . *
"Shay, ol’ man, where’s my fi-fl-flan-
eeeT”
“ Now, look here—you're In no condi­
tion to see n lady."
" I know It— c'd shee two In my cti-
dltlon. Merely dldn’ want ber to shee
me. WherelMhe ?"— Cleveland Leader.
A n ounce o f grease is sometimes the only difference between
profit and loss on a day’s teaming. You know you can’t afferd
a dry axle — do you know as well that Mica A xle Grease is the
only lubricant you can afford? Mica A xle Grease is the most eco­
nomical lubricant, because it «lone possesses high lubricating prop­
erty» .great adhesive power* and long-wearing quality. Hence, the
longest profitable use o f your outfit is to be had, only when the
lubricant is M ica A x le Grease.
Mica A xle Grease contains powdered mica.
This forms a
smooth, hard surface on the axle, and reduces friction, while a spe­
cially prepared mineral grease forms an effective cushioning body be­
tween axle and box. Mica A xle Grease wears best and longest — ‘ one
I„MICA,
y gre
greasing does for a week’s teaming.
Mica A xle Grease saves horse power
— consequently saves feed. Mica A xle
Grease is the best 'lubricant In
the world — use it and draw a
double load. If your dealer does not
keep Mioa A xle Grease w e will tell
you one who does.
■*v
*
1
h